433 Transform Resistance Into Freedom & Success with Chris Lee

"You can never create an abundant life through resistance." - Chris Lee If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/433 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  Episode number 433 with transformational coach Chris Lee.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. I'm excited for today because we have our resident coach. That's right, Chris Lee, a crowd favorite who's back on the podcast today. He's in studio with us and I'm excited to share what we're covering and it's about resistance. You know, so many people are resisting so many things in their life right now. I get emails all the time from people who are frustrated that they're not creating the results they want. A lot of it is usually relationship related or it's financial related.

• 1:12Lewis Howes?

  They're not creating certain results in all areas of your life that they want because there's some sort of resistance. And you may be listening to this right now saying you don't resist anything. There's nothing you resist. But I'm telling you, there's something we all resist because if we're not at a certain level that we want to be, whether it be financially, a relationship, health wise, if we're not at a certain level we want to be, then there's something in the way that we've been resisting. So this is about how to transform resistance into freedom and success. And at LewisHowes.com/433, we'll have all the show notes and all the previous episodes that Chris has been on. But I believe this is over 10 now that he's been on. So Chris is amazing, transformational coach.

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  Been doing the work for over 25 years. And in this episode, we really cover the source of resistance and where resistance comes from. Also, what surrendering actually means.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Why we keep doing things that don't serve us. Yes, I've been there many, many times and done things over and over again that didn't get the result I wanted, but thought it would. So why we keep doing things that don't serve us? Why staying in your comfort zone feeds resistance? How to handle fear and get to the bottom of it? And so much more, guys. We break it down in practical steps today in this interview. So I hope you enjoy it. Please share it. LewisHowes.com/433. And without further ado, let me introduce to you the one and only Chris Lee.

• 2:51Lewis Howes?

  All right. Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We have the resident coach in the house, Chris Lee.

• 2:57Chris Lee?

  Hey.

• 2:58Lewis Howes?

  My good friend. Thank you so much for being here. Very excited about this. This will be the 11th time that your voice has been published on the School of Greatness Podcast. Nine times, is there nine times on here? We did a repost of one and a Five Minute Friday, but this is 11, I guess.

• 3:14Chris Lee?

  That's incredible.

• 3:15Lewis Howes?

  So it's probably close to, I don't know, 600,000 or 700,000 downloads for all the episodes, I would say. I'm guessing of the 27 million downloads, you're close to probably a million from from your voice and your message on here. So we're excited about what you have for us today. And then we're talking about resistance and how to overcome resistance, right?

• 3:37Chris Lee?

  Yeah, how to transform resistance, how to embrace it.

• 3:40Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 3:41Chris Lee?

  And really how to identify it.

• 3:43Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 3:43Chris Lee?

  Because sometimes we're resisting something and we're not aware that we're in resistance. All we do know is that we're feeling tense, we're feeling anxious, we're feeling afraid, but we're not naming it. And I think part of what's valuable about transformational information in these podcasts and what you offer people is giving people something to be able to identify. And the ability to distinguish something gives us power. So when we're able to identify and distinguish why we are resisting something, then we're able to transform it and have the joy and the success and the extraordinary results that we're committed to. And this is

• 4:26Chris Lee?

  perfect timing for this because we're beginning a new year. And we've made a lot of New Year's resolutions and we've, you know, really have been committed in this 2017, a new beginning. And I think that a lot of times we aren't aware that we resist these changes and that no matter how many resolutions we make, something pulls us back. And so this is good to be able to use so that we could identify and break through and create the results that we want.

• 4:56Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. So what is resistance then? Let's define it first.

• 4:59Chris Lee?

  Resistance is avoiding something, not trusting something, not accepting something, not embracing something. So when I resist a relationship, I'm pushing it away. When I resist a feeling, I'm covering it up. When I resist change, because there's different kinds of resistance. We could resist change. We could resist a relationship. We could resist a decision that we need to make. And what happens is, is that what you resist persists. So it doesn't go away. You could pretend you don't have a cavity, but before you know it, that cavity turns into a root canal.

• 5:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 5:44Chris Lee?

  And so the value of embracing resistance is you're able to transform it into something positive.

• 5:52Lewis Howes?

  A better result. Now, is it, is all resistance bad? What if you're resisting something that is negative or that's something you don't want in your life? Is that bad or is that?

• 6:00Chris Lee?

  Well, you need to be able to really look at the consequence of what you're resisting.

• 6:05Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha.

• 6:06Chris Lee?

  So it's, is all fear bad?

• 6:08Lewis Howes?

  What if you're resisting a toxic person in your life?

• 6:11Chris Lee?

  Well, then keep resisting.

• 6:12Lewis Howes?

  Right. Okay. Gotcha. Yes.

• 6:14Chris Lee?

  You know, I don't think, it's like fear. Not all fear is bad. I think sometimes fear keeps us alive. Fear is what has us be aware of, you know, toxic people, toxic situations, situations where I could be endangered. But the kind of resistance that I want, that I'm talking about today, and that I think is important for us to talk about, is the resistance of something that could bring us something positive.

• 6:39Lewis Howes?

  Got it.

• 6:39Chris Lee?

  You know, like if I resist change, if I resist getting out of my comfort zone. And so I want everyone listening to think about how many things in your life have you missed out on because you resisted it? How many relationships? How many opportunities? And so

• 6:59Lewis Howes?

  Experiences.

• 7:00Chris Lee?

  Experiences. And so we resist things and then what happens is is that we end up staying in the same place. And staying in the same place really means going backwards.

• 7:11Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:11Chris Lee?

  So my definition of resistance is when I'm avoiding something.

• 7:18Lewis Howes?

  That can bring you a positive result or a benefit or value to you.

• 7:22Chris Lee?

  When you avoid something that could end up being something positive.

• 7:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:26Chris Lee?

  Or avoid something I don't want to take care of.

• 7:28Lewis Howes?

  Got it.

• 7:29Chris Lee?

  You know, whether it's a responsibility or it's something

• 7:32Lewis Howes?

  Broken agreement.

• 7:32Chris Lee?

  A broken agreement. Or a conversation I haven't had with my girlfriend or my boyfriend or my husband. You know, sometimes we avoid having the talk.

• 7:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:43Chris Lee?

  And those of you who haven't had the talk, you need to have the talk.

• 7:46Lewis Howes?

  Why do we avoid so much?

• 7:48Chris Lee?

  Because now let's go to the source of resistance. Which is fear. We have, you know, we, resistance becomes a strategy. You see, behavior is not random. So resistance is what I call a racket. And a racket are the things that we use to avoid. So when I'm resisting as a, in, as a way of being, and some people are more resistant than others. When I'm resistant, that's, that's my racket. That's my, my way of keeping myself safe. And so the reason why we resist is because it brings us a payoff. There's actually a false reward that comes as a result of resisting.

• 8:29Chris Lee?

  It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel like I'm in control. It makes me feel like I, you know, I'm not going to get hurt. I'm not going to rock the boat. I'm not going to jeopardize anything. You know, so I resist making these changes because there's a payoff. But what happens is that over time, when you continuously resist something that would be to your benefit, then you pay a huge price.

• 8:57Chris Lee?

  And so the prices of resisting a conversation in your relationship might be the end of the relationship. A price you could resist, a price that you could pay by resisting a conversation with a business partner, or an employee, or a client, is that you push the relationship away. And so there's like, it's kind of like this, there's a giant elephant in between me and you, and I'm saying, pass me the coffee. Right. But I'm resisting the fact that there's an elephant on the table. There's a saying that, you know, there's a saying called, there's an elephant on the table. And a lot of families resist talking to each other, a lot of relationships resist talking

• 9:41Chris Lee?

  to each other, and there's this big, giant elephant sitting on the table, and we're avoiding it. And so the value of confronting, quickly, and surrendering and embracing what we're resisting, allows us to transform what that is that we're resisting, or to accept it, embrace it, and move on. Awesome. Yeah. Okay. So how do we do that? How do we surrender to resistance and transform it into success? Well, the first step is to tell the truth. We gotta tell the truth. We gotta be honest. I gotta, I get to be honest. One of the things I've been resisting is losing weight.

• 10:26Chris Lee?

  I love eating. I'm a foodie. Yeah. Good excuse. And, yeah, it's, it's, and so my racket in resisting diet and exercising and taking care of my health, is the, the payoff of that, of that resistance, is that it feels good. The taste, you get to eat it fresh. I love food. Who else is with me? Yes, I love food. I love all foods. I travel the world. I want to try the cuisine everywhere I go. Yes. And I'm in total resistance, or I was, in total resistance. So what are you committed to creating now? Well, not yet. You're, you're too fast. Okay. So, the first step is to tell the truth.

• 11:11Chris Lee?

  The truth is, is that I'm in resistance to X, or I'm avoiding Y. So in my case, this is a how to, guys, pay attention. In my case, I am resisting taking care of my health. I'm resisting losing weight. I'm resisting being mindful of my health. And the payoff is that I could eat what I want, when I want, where I want. I could do what I want. I could sleep as much as I want, and that feels good. It gives me a false sense of freedom and choice. Comfort, yeah. That's the lie. And so by me telling the truth that that's really a lie, I get to face the prices. Which are?

• 11:55Chris Lee?

  Which are, I'm overweight, I'm uncomfortable with my body, I'm not where I want to be. And health-wise, it doesn't serve me to create the life that I want. Doesn't give you the energy or the sustained energy. Right, and so one of the things that we get to do, the first step is to tell the truth. The second step is to identify what's the source of that resistance. So if I'm not telling the truth about my weight, or telling the truth about uh, my, not my resistance to take care of my health. If I don't tell the truth about that, then I can't transform it. And so some people resist relationships. Some people resist love. Some people resist money.

• 12:39Chris Lee?

  Believe it or not, they make a lot of money and then they resist it and they throw it away. Yeah. They resist love. They have the love of their life that finally is in their life, finally shows up, the person that you've dreamed of, and you blow it up. And so by resisting, we end up sabotaging it. So by telling the truth, acknowledging the resistance, then you can move on to the second step, which is to get to the source of it. And so the source of it is always a limiting belief. Hmm, what do you mean? What's the source of it? There's a belief that is fueled by fear. So fear is the source, and fear is the source of limiting beliefs. So there's fear.

• 13:22Chris Lee?

  And there's a belief that maintains that resistance. And the belief is that it's too hard, I can't do it. Uh, if I fall in love and if I let myself be loved, I'm gonna miss out on something. There's always something better around the corner. Uh, there's, it, it just depends on the situation. But in, in my case, in terms of losing weight, the limiting belief is Well, for the eat what I want and That, that I'm gonna have to sacrifice and I'm not, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to be unhappy and eat cardboard and, you know, and, and just not enjoy Counter calories on every day. Yeah, and, and it can't be done. And it's just a limiting belief, it's not true.

• 14:04Chris Lee?

  And so by identifying the limiting belief about whatever it is you're resisting, and every person's a different thing. But we get to really identify what's, once you're able to accept it and acknowledge and tell the truth that you're resisting something, really get to what's the limiting belief that's, that's causing that? Where's that come from? Mm-hmm, got it. And then look at the consequences of the resistance. So like if nothing changes, where am I gonna be in six months? Where am I gonna be in a year? Where I'm gonna be in five years? How's this gonna end up and how's this gonna play out? Not good. So like if you keep resisting relationships, where is that gonna play out? If you keep resisting saving money, some people have issues with money, this blow money.

• 14:48Chris Lee?

  They don't organize it, they don't structure it, they're in resistance to that. If I keep resisting that, how's that gonna play out? Some people resist getting out of their comfort zone. They want everything to be safe and comfortable. If I keep hanging out in this comfort zone, how will it play out? What's the long-term conversation? What's the long-term result? And so it's, it's something that I recommend that we do, that we really look at the long-term price of the resistance and the area that you're resisting it. And and by finally getting that, then you get to surrender.

• 15:32Chris Lee?

  And what surrendering means is to accept, to own, and to be without judgment about it. So if I if I'm in judgment of myself because I'm resisting a relationship, that's gonna cause more resistance. If I'm in judgment about myself because I'm not making the money I want to make, then that causes more resistance. Whatever you're in judgment about, you're resisting. If I'm in judgment about my body or my health, you know, by surrendering and accepting and embracing, then I get to love me as I am, love whatever the situation is as it is. I don't have to like something to love it.

• 16:16Chris Lee?

  But by surrendering and loving it and embracing it, and really using my energy in a proactive way. You see, resistance is resisting on every level, even energetically. So if I'm resisting a relationship, then that creates tension in my body. It creates tension in my being. It creates dis-ease. So by telling the truth, by acknowledging it, and by finally embracing it and surrendering to it, then basically what I'm doing is I'm redirecting my energy.

• 17:01Chris Lee?

  When you surrender and you embrace and you accept, then you could get clear on the next part of this, which is, what's my vision?

• 17:13Chris Lee?

  Where am I gonna go? Where do I want to be? What's my vision for my health? What's my vision for my relationship? What's my vision for uh? Finances. My finances, my business. What's my vision for the world? Some people go out in the world and resist it. And so what you focus on expands. And that's the nature of thought. So if I resist something, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And as great lawyers that we are, we gather evidence to back up whatever we're resisting. You know, some of us resist transformation, resist change. And so that resistance that creates walls around us. And by embracing it and owning it and telling the truth, I've got this wall.

• 17:58Chris Lee?

  That wall is just fear. The source of that wall is my belief that I'm not good enough. Then I could get clear. Okay, so now let me embrace that, own it, not resist it. Know that I have this wall. Know that I have this excess weight. Love it. Surrender, embrace it. Now what's my vision? Mm hmm. It's all energy. Right. And so you could never create an abundant life through resistance. As long as you're resisting something, you're not honoring something. You're not embracing something. And so by embracing it and surrendering it and truly trusting it.

• 18:41Chris Lee?

  I could then declare, here's where I'm headed. 2017, by the end of the year, 40 pounds less. It's a declaration right here. Oh, really? Yes. Okay. So check in with me at the end of the year. We'll do another podcast. Checking with you every couple of months. We always check in with you. But I'm serious, this year, 40 pounds less. 40 pounds less. But it's not, I'm not gonna lose weight. I'm just gonna shift my lifestyle and embrace and surrender to the fact that I love food and that I'm a foodie and it's a question of shifting my priorities and shifting my energy. And how do you create the win-win and still not sacrifice loving food, but? It's called balance. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's called balance.

• 19:25Chris Lee?

  So like every now and then give myself a permission.

• 19:29Chris Lee?

  Just never, not allowing the permission once in a while to become an everyday. You're laughing because you're holding me in my box. Exactly. Right. Okay. Yeah, but, but truly by surrendering and by, and by being focused on the vision. Yeah. And, and the long-term vision. And once I make that, that vision and that declaration, then I get to trust the process. And trust the process is really about surrendering as well. It's even more surrender. Yeah, because when you trust the process and, and really, one of the biggest ways to transform resistance into success is by trusting the process.

• 20:09Chris Lee?

  That whichever process you find yourself in as you're listening to this, whether you're going through a financial challenge, or you're going through a relationship challenge, or a health challenge, or a family challenge, or an existential challenge, trust the process. Trust that everything is gonna turn out in a beautiful way. One of the things that I say a lot, and I say in my book, Transform Your Life: 10 Principles of Abundance Prosperity. By the way, surrender is actually one of the principles of the book that we're talking about here. But one of the things I say is transform your fear into faith. And what that means is, fear, which is resistance,

• 20:51Chris Lee?

  is the expectation that everything's gonna turn out in a negative way. Faith is the knowing that everything is gonna turn out in a beautiful way. So transform fear into faith. I say it in my seminars all the time. I've been saying it for over 25 years. People are writing books about it now. So transform fear into faith. It's truly trust the process. That whatever, whatever's going on right now in your life, trust that you're gonna be able to transform that into something beautiful. And the way to do that is to surrender, and to embrace it, and to accept it.

• 21:34Chris Lee?

  And by accepting it, then you could do something about it. Or you can be clear that there's nothing to be done and just let it go. So there's two choices by, as a result of surrendering. Either I surrender, and I own the fact that there's nothing I could do about it, and just give it to the universe. But you're letting go. And be okay with, I have no control over this thing. And let it go. And the second choice is if there's something I can do about it, then I get to create my vision, an action plan and a commitment to transforming it.

• 22:12Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 22:13Chris Lee?

  But resisting it and avoiding it will never transform it.

• 22:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you always keep creating the same thing over and over.

• 22:20Chris Lee?

  What you resist persists.

• 22:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:23Chris Lee?

  I know people that have died because they resisted. My mom's best friend, Hal Clark, this man was one of the most incredible architects in Puerto Rico. He had this stomach, like, like a stomach virus, like, like, like he just got sick to his stomach all the time. And he thought it was a stomach virus and he thought it was the flu. And then the stomach ache would never go away and he just pretended it wasn't there. And by the time he got to the doctor, he had stage four stomach cancer. It was spread all over the place. Too late.

• 22:59Lewis Howes?

  Too late.

• 23:00Chris Lee?

  Had he confronted it and took it on immediately, he'd be alive still.

• 23:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:06Chris Lee?

  And sometimes we miss out on relationships because we don't, we don't, we're afraid to have the conversation. Because we're resisting it.

• 23:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:14Chris Lee?

  So by surrendering and embracing this conversation and, and, and really acknowledging it, then we could, you know, maybe we're just walking around with myths in our minds that keep us separate.

• 23:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's something that someone could do that sees someone in resistance? Like for instance, sees someone who's got this stomach ache or, you know, as an example, for years, but they never do anything about it. How can someone get them to shift so that they're open to seeing it? You know, if they're so close minded to, they're so resistant to the change or looking at it or being aware of it. What can a friend do in that situation?

• 23:49Chris Lee?

  Well, a friend could, could have a conversation where the friend tells the truth about what they're saying. In other words, I've noticed you've had this stomach problem for a while. Have you checked it out? And I think sometimes friends back off, we're so afraid. We walk on eggshells with each other.

• 24:06Lewis Howes?

  Hurt people or?

• 24:07Chris Lee?

  We're gonna hurt people's feelings. Guys, I'd rather you be that person that pressured your friend into going to the doctor and

• 24:15Lewis Howes?

  To get a checkup.

• 24:16Chris Lee?

  And, and having your friend get mad at you, but you saved his life. Then you stayed silent and your friend died. And I believe in confrontation. Confrontation is not a bad thing. Confrontation is bring to the foreground what's hidden. And so, for example, you and I have the kind of relationship that if there's anything out between us, like in my life, if I'm doing something that's gonna hurt me, you're gonna confront me.

• 24:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 24:43Chris Lee?

  You don't care. You're like, Chris, this is not working and I could get mad at you, I could resist you, but you know what? I know that you love me and care about me and it's for my own good.

• 24:53Lewis Howes?

  And the next day, it's, it's clear. We're clear. It's moved on again.

• 24:57Chris Lee?

  But what's motivating your confrontation is your care for me.

• 25:01Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 25:01Chris Lee?

  And I think that what a friend could do is a friend could be honest with a friend. A husband could be honest with his wife. You have a partner that's smoking and you know that, that he's smoking or she's smoking and that that is damaging to their health. Don't, you know, don't stay silent. You know, speak up. I think that by telling the truth, then we support people in embracing it. And then if the person's willing to do the work, then you could actually walk them through these steps. You know, what's the, what's the reward that this resistance is creating in your life? We don't realize that behavior that doesn't serve us,

• 25:42Chris Lee?

  the reason why we keep doing it is because it provides a reward. And what's the price? And if nothing changes over time, what's gonna happen? You know, and so I'm here because I love you and, you know, what's it gonna take to change that?

• 25:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, I like it.

• 26:01Chris Lee?

  And we get to transform our resistance into opportunities. And one of the biggest ways we resist as human beings is we stay in our comfort zone. And we finally, you know, like some, some people finally reach a certain level and they're like, okay, that's enough. Instead of knowing that life is a journey and life is meant to be lived with joy and passion and excitement. And the every single day that you challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone, that's a day that is worth living. And one of the, one of the recommendations I have for people, like a specific recommendation of how we can break through resistance is to disprove.

• 26:45Chris Lee?

  Your limiting beliefs. How do you do that? By doing things that you normally wouldn't do. For example? For example, if you normally don't dance, go out and dance. If you have a hard time speaking or singing in public karaoke, like I would never sing karaoke. Get your butt into gear, go out and sing karaoke. If you would never write a poem to your girlfriend or a letter of appreciation to your mom, your dad, or a loved one, write that letter. Do things that in your mind, you would say, I would never do that, or that's not me. Because the minute I say that's not me, I put myself into a box. And basically, I'm resisting something. Right.

• 27:30Chris Lee?

  And some people resist passion. And some people resist love. And some people resist results. And some people resist discipline. And so by challenging ourselves and stepping through that resistance, then we could incorporate some incredible new tools that has 2017 be a monumental year. Yes. That's what I'm about. I love it. Well, is there anything else we're missing here? Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about or cover, or is that? Um. All the main points. Another thing that I would do in terms of resistance is I would take fear all the way down to the end. Give me an example. So like. And I know what you're talking about, but so. Yeah, so like example,

• 28:14Chris Lee?

  if I tell my girlfriend how I feel. Let's give an example for people that maybe would be watching, like speaking on stage. Okay, so if I speak on stage, I may make a mistake. Okay. If I make a mistake, then people will reject me. If people reject me, then I'll feel like a loser. If I feel like a loser, then I'm making the high school bully right. Right. If I make the high school bully right, then I'm gonna feel sad. If I feel sad, then I'm gonna be sadder. And if I feel sadder, then, then I'm sad. I mean, it just, it just, it, it ends. I have no friends. Right, but then at the end, at the end of it, you're still left with who? Yourself.

• 28:59Chris Lee?

  Yourself. Yeah. It's not the end of the day. Yeah. And so if you take fear all the way down, you realize that this big of this big fearful thing is really, when you break it down, it ends up being nothing. So if I tell my girlfriend I love her, then she might reject me. And if she rejects me, then she'll leave me. And if she leaves me, then I'm alone. If I'm alone, I'm left with me.

• 29:25Chris Lee?

  You know, if I ask for a raise, my boss might say no. And if he says no, then he'll lose respect for me. And then he'll fire me and I'll be unemployed. And then what? I'll get another job or I'll look for another job. I mean, at the end of the day, we make that we resist these big changes because we have such giant walls of consequences that might happen that most of the time never happen.

• 29:49Lewis Howes?

  Right. It's a lot of ego conversation too, a lot of fear of, uh, what we think other people are going to think about us, what we're not going to have, what we're going to have, things like that by taking action, by getting, you know, like you said, by asking or saying I love you or being on stage, the rejection, the fear of the ego, I think, being hurt.

• 30:08Chris Lee?

  Is there something that you feel that you have resisted that, that you've been like, you know, just something you're like, you're avoiding maybe a conversation, maybe a decision?

• 30:17Lewis Howes?

  I mean, there, there was, and then I had it. I mean, conversation in relationships, intimate relationships. And I've had those, which.

• 30:25Chris Lee?

  In the beginning, you resisted it.

• 30:27Lewis Howes?

  And then even, even, you know, a few months ago, I was resisting certain conversations and, um, and I recently had them.

• 30:35Chris Lee?

  Then you embraced it.

• 30:36Lewis Howes?

  Embraced it and it was uncomfortable.

• 30:38Chris Lee?

  And then you had it.

• 30:39Lewis Howes?

  It was uncomfortable having it. And there were some uncomfortable moments of the conversation and fearful moments and scary moments and vulnerable moments. But afterwards.

• 30:48Chris Lee?

  And the result?

• 30:49Lewis Howes?

  Freedom.

• 30:50Chris Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Lewis Howes?

  It's been like weighed off my shoulders. I was like, I wish I would have done this months ago. Why did I wait till the end of the year? You know?

• 30:57Chris Lee?

  Right.

• 30:57Lewis Howes?

  Why not just do it like when it comes up? And I feel like something.

• 31:00Chris Lee?

  In the moment.

• 31:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Or feel like this constant little nag of like. Resistance, why not just start doing it then, right when I'm aware of it as opposed to waiting, waiting, and waiting, and then it's like built up even more. So I think it's, you know, I experienced this and it happens all the time, you know, every few months, something comes up in some area of my life.

• 31:21Chris Lee?

  Absolutely.

• 31:21Lewis Howes?

  Where I get to be aware of it and either address it, or if I don't, it continues. Continues to come into my life and be like this little nag, like a little fly that just won't get away.

• 31:30Chris Lee?

  It happens in, in, in relationship, when you, when you put two people together, they're two different worlds. And two different belief systems and strategies and fears and.

• 31:41Lewis Howes?

  Visions.

• 31:42Chris Lee?

  And then, and then someone's bound to do something that's gonna annoy you.

• 31:46Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 31:46Chris Lee?

  Like people that, like relationships that say we never have a disagreement, I always say someone's lying.

• 31:53Chris Lee?

  Because if, if, if you're telling the truth.

• 31:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 31:56Chris Lee?

  Yeah, if you're telling the truth, then it's, if it's real, like if you want an authentic relationship, then sometimes I wanna go left and you wanna go right.

• 32:04Lewis Howes?

  Right, exactly. There's gonna be conflict.

• 32:06Chris Lee?

  But if we embrace it and we express it, then you actually get closer. Think about it, guys, how many of you got into this massive fight with a loved one? And you, you avoided each other for a couple of days, then you kinda sat down and talked to each other, and then the sex was better than ever.

• 32:22Lewis Howes?

  Amazing, explosive, exactly.

• 32:24Chris Lee?

  It's called makeup sex.

• 32:26Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 32:27Chris Lee?

  But, and then the relationship gets better.

• 32:29Lewis Howes?

  You feel more connected, you feel more loving, you're more intimate, yes.

• 32:32Chris Lee?

  I had a moment with you that I was resisting something. I remember, and I had a conversation with you and I said, Louis, I need to clear something with you.

• 32:39Lewis Howes?

  I remember.

• 32:39Chris Lee?

  And you listened and you were loving about it and you didn't get, you didn't get defensive.

• 32:43Lewis Howes?

  And the next day was fine, or that moment is fine.

• 32:45Chris Lee?

  It was fine.

• 32:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:46Chris Lee?

  And there are things that you've cleared with me, that you've had moments, you know, in our relationship, because, you know, you don't, you don't create anything new by avoiding.

• 32:56Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 32:56Chris Lee?

  And if you want to keep your energy, and I think at the end of the day, like if we're gonna wrap it up.

• 33:01Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 33:01Chris Lee?

  This is about energy. And do you want your energy tied up with something that's negative? Or do you want to use that energy towards something positive? So we get to transform our resistance into success by surrendering it and embracing it.

• 33:22Lewis Howes?

  I love it.

• 33:23Chris Lee?

  Trusting the process.

• 33:24Lewis Howes?

  And the bigger the dream and the vision we have, we're going to need all the energy we can get in order to make it happen. If there's a couple little resistance pulling us back towards the vision, it's just going to be that much more of a challenge to get there.

• 33:35Chris Lee?

  And the bigger, the bigger the resistance.

• 33:37Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. It's going to keep building and holding you back and dragging you more.

• 33:40Chris Lee?

  So don't resist resistance. How about that?

• 33:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:44Chris Lee?

  Don't resist anything. When you're resisting, it lets you know, hey, you're up to something big.

• 33:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 33:49Chris Lee?

  And just as a matter of channeling it.

• 33:51Lewis Howes?

  I love it.

• 33:51Chris Lee?

  Shifting it.

• 33:52Lewis Howes?

  Um, I've asked you your definition of greatness a million times, your three truths. So I think I'm going to mix it up for the end.

• 33:59Chris Lee?

  Okay.

• 33:59Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask you a final question, um, make sure you guys go get Chris Lee's book. It's called Transform Your Life, 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity, which was birthed from this podcast, which kind of came from here. And then he made it into a more extensive book. Check it out. It's on Amazon. You can get it right now. Just go on there and type in transform your life with Chris Lee. You'll see it up there. Get a copy. Follow Chris on Instagram, Twitter. Where else are you hanging out? Facebook.

• 34:28Chris Lee?

  Facebook. It's all the same.

• 34:29Lewis Howes?

  Chris Motivador.

• 34:31Chris Lee?

  At, at Chris Motivador.

• 34:33Lewis Howes?

  At Chris Motivador, D O R at the end.

• 34:38Lewis Howes?

  And let me think of a final question for you. Final question. You know what? Let's do this. Let's do a motivational moment to close it up. So whatever is on your heart right now, from an experience in your life, that you want to share a message to the world in a minute or less, or a few words or whatever it may be, a motivational minute from Chris the motivator. What would that be?

• 35:05Chris Lee?

  Love you putting me on the spot, uh, but I'm ready.

• 35:09Lewis Howes?

  And you can look at camera if you want.

• 35:10Chris Lee?

  So my motivational minute is celebrate, embrace and appreciate everything you have and everything you are. For everything we have is temporary. And when we leave, it doesn't matter what we had, what matters is what we gave. So be generous with your heart. The more you give it, the bigger it becomes.

• 35:38Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 35:38Chris Lee?

  Generosity.

• 35:40Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Chris, we love you. Thank you very much.

• 35:42Chris Lee?

  We love you too.

• 35:42Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it. It's amazing.

• 35:43Chris Lee?

  Thank you.

• 35:46Lewis Howes?

  Alrighty, there you have it, guys. Chris Lee back on the podcast again. So, thank you so much for listening. If you found this helpful in any way, spread the message forward. Pay it forward. Share it with your friends on social media, Facebook, Twitter. Tag me on Instagram as well, or email a friend who you feel like this would support or inspire in their day-to-day journey. Again, the link is lewishouse.com/433, or you can just click on the podcast app on Stitcher or iTunes, or wherever you like to listen to the podcast, and share it out as well. I appreciate you guys so very much, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.