428 Millionaire Success Habits with Dean Graziosi

"Let thoughts be things, not who you are." - Dean Graziosi If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/428 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  Episode number 428 with New York Times bestselling author Dean Graziosi. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone back to another inspirational interview on the School of Greatness podcast. We've got Dean Graziosi in the house and most of you know of him as someone who has been on TV almost every single day for the last 15 years. He did a number of educational interviews and infomercials teaching real estate for over 15 years on TV. And it's been amazing to hear about his results. At one point, he talks about how he did over 150 million in sales in 18 months for an infomercial from one different commercial he did.

• 1:15Lewis Howes?

  He talks about the millionaire success habits, what he learned from living in a trailer park, growing up to not going to college, and how he transformed his life from living in scarcity and living with hand me downs to being financially free a thousand times over. Again, he never went to college. He's a multiple New York Times bestselling author. He's an entrepreneur and inspirational speaker. And some of the things we talk about are the habits that he does every single morning that set him up for financial success, but also fulfillment in his life. We talk about the seven levels deep exercise that when everyone goes through this exercise,

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  you understand the actual purpose of your life's mission. Such a powerful experience. You're going to want to make sure you go through it. We also talked about how he overcame the misconception of being On an infomercial and the lesson that Tony Robbins taught him about this process as well. We talk about the keys of persuasion, sales and marketing. And really for someone who sold hundreds of millions of dollars worth of products and services. I asked him, what is the secret? What are the keys to sales, marketing and persuasion? He reveals the simple philosophy that has served him and his audience over the last 20 years in this process. We talk about that and so much more in this interview.

• 2:39Lewis Howes?

  Episode number 428 with the one, the only Dean Graziosi.

• 2:49Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. We have a living legend, Dean Graziosi in the house.

• 2:54Dean Graziosi?

  Thanks for being, thanks for having me here, man. This is awesome.

• 2:57Lewis Howes?

  I'm excited. I first found out about you probably, I don't know, 10 or 15 years ago from TV.

• 3:02Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 3:02Lewis Howes?

  Late night when I was probably broken, depressed, trying to figure out about what I was doing with my life. You were on there interviewing, talking about a book and real estate stuff. I remember you in front of a house, talking about how you generated like, or this house, like someone made 30 grand from or something like that. Or a hundred 30,000 or something like that vaguely. And I met you the first time, I don't know if you remember this, I think it was probably five or six years ago at

• 3:26Lewis Howes?

  Josh Bizony had a mastermind.

• 3:28Dean Graziosi?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Austin.

• 3:29Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 3:30Dean Graziosi?

  That's right. And I was wondering where I met you the first time.

• 3:32Lewis Howes?

  And it was like we briefly just shook hands. And then I met you again, I think for like a hot second through Thanh Merrill.

• 3:38Dean Graziosi?

  Okay.

• 3:39Lewis Howes?

  I believe at one of his events or something.

• 3:41Dean Graziosi?

  Got it.

• 3:41Lewis Howes?

  I think we met briefly, but this is really.

• 3:43Dean Graziosi?

  Now we're here, so.

• 3:44Lewis Howes?

  Now we're here and thanks to Joe Polish for connecting us.

• 3:48Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 3:48Lewis Howes?

  And I know you guys do a lot of this.

• 3:50Dean Graziosi?

  He's the total connector, right?

• 3:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. I've got a lot of questions for you today, but you wrote a book called Millionaire Success Habits. Make sure you guys go check this out. We'll tell you where to go at the end here. It's the gateway to wealth and prosperity. And you are a New York Times bestseller. You've written a number of books, five books, right?

• 4:08Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  And why, why this book? Most have been in real estate minded books. Why a book about millionaire success habits?

• 4:16Dean Graziosi?

  You know, I It's a great question. My first book I ever wrote, my first New York Times bestseller was called Totally Fulfilled. I was in the business, and I read it now, and you know what it's like, you look back, if you're a person, someone who grows, I look back at that now and I'm like, oh,

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  Cringe.

• 4:28Dean Graziosi?

  Can I take it off the shelves? But I wrote that book because I'd already been in the education business for 10 years. And when, you know, when you find, when you obsess on getting people results, right? And which, everybody watching, whatever you do in life, like, there's nothing better than being passionate about what you do. And when I'd look where people would fall short on doing a real estate deal, or taking their life to the next level, or, or taking action. It had nothing to do with my tactical skills on what I taught in real estate. Because what I was teaching was exactly what I did. I literally, you know, not to go to the story, but I was, lived in a trailer park. I was homeless with my dad for a year. We lived in a bathroom. I went through that. I didn't go to past high school. I had dyslexia. All this stuff that a lot of us have gone through.

• 5:08Dean Graziosi?

  I know that the strategies worked in real estate. When I got so frustrated, I'm like, I don't need to write a real estate book. I need to write a book to get out of their own way, to get over the obstacles, to just use the crap that I'm giving you so you could take action.

• 5:20Lewis Howes?

  Because they would have the strategies, but they wouldn't get the results.

• 5:22Dean Graziosi?

  Right. They couldn't, you know, the first obstacle, they turn around and go backwards, right? First time it doesn't work, you know, limiting beliefs, people from the outside, the stories they tell themselves, all the things that we all know. And if you're, if your audience is watching this, they get a lot of that stuff. So, I, I wrote that book and then went on to write four or five, five more real estate books. I've been blessed to sell lots of them, millions of books sold. And then, in the last couple of years, it's just been on my heart to, to share the, the process in which I went through, and then being blessed to be friends with really successful people and billionaires. And you've, the, the more success you have, the more you realize it's less shifts in your life than you would think. I think when you're struggling and you want more, if you think back to when you were on the couch at your sister's house,

• 6:04Dean Graziosi?

  you probably thought there was a hundred or 200 things you had to change about you. You had to discover the latest and greatest, and technology, and all the things, the complexity of today's world, right, were overloaded with information, were overloaded with delivery systems. If everybody, anybody's in marketing, it's like, do I do Facebook? And if it's Facebook, is it Facebook Live? Is it? We get all so much complexity with the delivery systems, and we forget that it really boils down to about a handful of things, handful of things that make someone successful or not. So, through my years and touching the lives of millions of people, and reading tens of thousands of posts, and doing live events. You realize that people are just lacking these habits that they could shift and that's what I got on this obsession about 18 months ago and that's why that's why millionaire success habits.

• 6:46Lewis Howes?

  Who was your biggest mentor growing up?

• 6:48Dean Graziosi?

  You know, I would say I didn't have a lot of mentors growing up. I was I was probably more running away from the life I had. You know, I hated watching my parents struggle. I mean, all they ever worried about was money, right? There was no time for coaching Little League and I was telling you, I'll tell you more. My daughter's here with me today too, her first business trip when she turned 10. She's here on the business trip, but you know, I get to coach Little League, I get to go to every dancer's site or I play at the park in the middle of the day. I watched my parents not have any of those options. They were great parents, they just didn't have those options. So I think I was running away from the pain of money and broke and all that, but I would have to say 18 years ago, Tony Robbins made a massive impact on my life. Just, I mean, he's one of my dearest friends in the world now, but 18 years ago, it was his course and journal where I said, someday I hope to meet him, you know?

• 7:32Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:33Dean Graziosi?

  So I would say that he made a big impact on me for sure.

• 7:35Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy. Wow, okay. Was there, how did you get out of the, I guess, the scarcity mindset or the scarce life you were living in where you were in the trailer park or you were living in a bathroom and your parents had these conversations? How did you shift it? Was there information you learned from Tony or from someone else that helped you get started?

• 7:52Dean Graziosi?

  You know, it's funny, I've been asked that question before and I don't have a specific epiphany, like, oh, this one moment. I can remember thinking throughout high school and even in my early twenties, maybe not my early twenties, I flipped pretty quick, right around 20 years old.

• 8:09Lewis Howes?

  You didn't go to college, right?

• 8:10Dean Graziosi?

  No, I didn't go to college. I barely got out of high school. But I can remember thinking in high school, whatever years that was, is that, you know, I hope someday I can get a job and make a thousand bucks a week and just get by. I'm not that smart because I had trouble reading. I still can't read great, but I've just had dyslexia is what I think it's been diagnosed now, but I still can't comprehend good when I read, but I didn't realize I was an audible and visual learner. I could listen to a book and I'll memorize the whole book. I can watch somebody on stage and emulate that if it fits my life, but sometimes we're judged by a scorecard that doesn't, it's an outdated scorecard, right? So not only did we not have money. I also felt, well, I'm not smart enough to go to school. And something changed around seventeen, eighteen years old, just something flipped and I just,

• 8:54Dean Graziosi?

  I noticed, and this is gonna sound like it's a pitch for the book and it's not, but I noticed the people in my town, this little tiny town I grew up in upstate New York, the people that had money, the people that seemed happier, I don't know behind the scenes, but they seemed happier, more fulfilled, they were more relaxed, like life just happened, like they were walking up a ladder instead of like, my family seemed like they were running on a treadmill, you know, it's like, we're going fast, but we're not going anywhere. So why is this guy, or this woman in this town, doing so well? And I remember just obsessing on it. And, and what I noticed it was, I didn't, I didn't call it habits, I'd love to say I figured this out when I was in my twenties, but what I realized is they just did different things than my family and my friends were doing. And I just started obsessing on that, and I was young enough and naive enough to just think I could do it.

• 9:38Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:38Dean Graziosi?

  You know, I mean, sometimes you wish you could give that gift to somebody in their twenties, thirties, fifties, seventies, right? I had the gift of being naive and a little dumb and not listening to anybody. I mean, I was, in nineteen ninety-eight, I did my first infomercial.

• 9:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:52Dean Graziosi?

  And...

• 9:52Lewis Howes?

  Almost twenty years ago.

• 9:53Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, nineteen ninety-eight, I filmed my first one. And my sister, my daughter's aunt, my daughter's sitting here, my sister drove from Virginia, cause by then, so in nineteen ninety, I had, I had an apartments, I had a collision shop, I had an auto sales, and I was building houses. Doing, from, from that broke kid, I was doing well.

• 10:13Lewis Howes?

  How old were you when you started that?

• 10:14Dean Graziosi?

  I was probably in nineteen ninety-eight, it was twenty, what, twenty years ago, I was twenty-eight, twenty-nine years old.

• 10:20Lewis Howes?

  So in your early twenties, you started to do real estate?

• 10:23Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, so I, I hit it big in real estate by the time I was twenty-six, twenty-seven years old, just by taking action, knocking on a million doors, and finally got someone to do a no-money-down deal with me when I was twenty, and then another one, and I rolled that into the next deal, the next deal, and...

• 10:34Lewis Howes?

  Consistent action.

• 10:35Dean Graziosi?

  Consistent action. And, and consistent, you know, failing and getting back up, right? The, the, the space between failures is really a huge determining factor of your success, right? It's like, if you can fail fast, you can win quicker, right?

• 10:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Dean Graziosi?

  Um, so I remember the first, I, I decided to do an infomercial, I'm gonna write a book on how to make money and go on TV, and my family lost their mind. Like, my sister drove from Virginia to sit down with me and say... It's time to get real. You, you did good. You got lucky. Not lucky, you work hard, you got here, but you're gonna blow it. You're, and I remember that defending it, that, that conversation like it was yesterday.

• 11:09Lewis Howes?

  It was your sister.

• 11:09Dean Graziosi?

  My sister, and she did it out of pure love. She thought she was protecting me. How many people listening right now wanna listen to you or do something, go, "Oh, you're listening to that, wasting your time. Just get real." You know, do some. So I remember that conversation and I, I literally almost gave up on it. I remember gonna cancel the whole thing and say, "What am I thinking? I, I can't read that good. I'm gonna write a book" and all this stuff. And luckily, I just remember thinking, "If I keep these patterns, I'm gonna continue the same process my family has and I want more." And we filmed it and the show went on TV and, you know, aired in 1999 and I went 17 years straight without missing a day on TV.

• 11:44Lewis Howes?

  Seventeen years.

• 11:45Dean Graziosi?

  Without missing a day on TV.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  Does it stop now?

• 11:47Dean Graziosi?

  It stopped because we're going from my real estate book to this, so we're just pausing until this, this, the show I did with Larry King's gonna roll out on Millionaire Success Habits sometime.

• 11:55Lewis Howes?

  Seventeen years.

• 11:56Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, I didn't miss a day on TV.

• 11:59Lewis Howes?

  Was it all throughout the US, over the world?

• 12:00Dean Graziosi?

  Just US.

• 12:01Lewis Howes?

  Just the US?

• 12:02Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 12:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow. And how'd you, now was there a guy named Big who was a part of this?

• 12:05Dean Graziosi?

  Big, yeah, Big, he bought my media.

• 12:07Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha, I met him.

• 12:08Dean Graziosi?

  He bought some of my media. When we were, yeah, but he's a great guy. He's an interesting character. I love that guy. Yeah. So he worked for Mercury Media. And Merk, I had three media, at one time when we were really cranky, I had three media companies at the same time.

• 12:20Lewis Howes?

  Just buying media for you.

• 12:21Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, we were running out of media. It was converting so well. So.

• 12:24Lewis Howes?

  Amazing. Now, was this the same infomercial for 17 years?

• 12:28Dean Graziosi?

  No, no. She knew about it every year.

• 12:29Lewis Howes?

  Really? Wow.

• 12:30Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, somewhere. It was an interview. Some I drove in my car. That was one of my biggest ones. I just put a camera on the dash of the, the window, the windshield, and I drove in the car for a half hour and, and pitched. I, I'd stop it, literally, I'd stop at streetlights and pitch my book. I'd stop and then I'd hold the book up and be like, "Everybody, I'm driving to my house right now from my office, but if you want my book, call the number. Wait, light screen, I gotta go."

• 12:51Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh. What did you, um, what do you, how did you think that, um, These infomercials were to do well for you. You know, you had a good system already. You were making good money. Why risk something like that?

• 13:01Dean Graziosi?

  It was because of Tony. If I lost all my money, I'd have to blame him.

• 13:04Lewis Howes?

  Because he was on TV every night.

• 13:06Dean Graziosi?

  He was on TV and he inspired me. I'm like, I want to inspire people with my story. So I didn't, I didn't even know, I didn't know about direct mail or the internet really wasn't there yet. I mean, it was AOL dial-up that would, you know. So it wasn't the internet and I was naive enough. I mean, I, I shot the infomercial and then I didn't know how to get it on TV. I was calling like stations and like, who books the media? How do you get on? Like so naive.

• 13:29Lewis Howes?

  How did you know what formula was going to work?

• 13:30Dean Graziosi?

  Didn't. I didn't. I just watched Tony and I, I wrote this, let me try this. And I just, I remember I was a nervous wreck and scared, but my, you know, there's, and, and I'm, I'm happy to talk about me, but I really want to serve today. I want to, I want to give back anything that I can do to help somebody watching right now that wants to get over that obstacle or they feel like they're at a plateau or just they're, they, they know there's more and they can't, I mean, that's the biggest frustration in life is knowing you have more gas in the tank and you don't know where to go, how to go or get that momentum. But I, I, I digress that I got off track, but I did the infomercial being so naive. Um, had no idea how to get it on. And I just, and that the part I was going to tell everybody is persistence.

• 14:09Dean Graziosi?

  Like I didn't, I, I literally flew to Arizona to meet a media buyer and I said, I have no idea what I'm doing. And I just kept pushing and, and one of those things that I think during the evolution of growing from wherever you are to where you want to go is do whatever you do best. I mean, do whatever you're doing the best you can. Knowing there's the bigger horizon. So I literally was working during the day on cars. I was like, I'd paint cars. I was doing collision repair. At night I'd go work on my apartments and I was a plumber and, and, and hung sheet rock and I'd work till midnight on houses and I was tired. But I had a dream. I knew I wanted to help people do better. So it made what I was doing okay because I knew there was more.

• 14:52Dean Graziosi?

  So the big problem I see is people want more and they hate what they're doing. So that it, they're, they're in a, they're in a state of mind where God, I just, when I'm done with this crap, then someday I'll reach my dreams. And if you can flop that to go, no, this is the gateway to my dreams. I don't care that I'm serving coffee or I'm painting cars or I'm a teacher right now or I'm on my sister's couch. Like this is what I have to do and I have to do it the best.

• 15:14Lewis Howes?

  Become a master at this.

• 15:14Dean Graziosi?

  Just become a master at that because and that's the income and the security and the mindset. That fuels the next level. It's not this is miserable. I hate it. I fueled the next level and now I'm amazing. It's like you needed to master that.

• 15:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, the process.

• 15:28Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Lewis Howes?

  You gotta fall in love with that process.

• 15:29Dean Graziosi?

  You do and the evolution and the failure.

• 15:32Lewis Howes?

  You're not gonna have like overnight success, you know, it took you probably 10 years until you got into that.

• 15:37Dean Graziosi?

  It's like the first time you see an actor in a movie and you're like, man, I never saw that person overnight success. It's like they don't show the summer stock and all the stuff. You know, the millions of theater and no money and editing.

• 15:46Lewis Howes?

  Extra work that he did, sitting there drinking coffee in the background.

• 15:49Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:50Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Wow. Okay. Can you share, I wasn't even gonna ask about this, but I'm fascinated about infomercials now since you've done it for so long. Is there a A formula to like the most successful infomercial, like five or six things that you must have?

• 16:03Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. You know, it's so funny. When I went dead before, when my brain, there was a thought I had and I never happens. Cause we just got off a plane. It might be the Dramamine. But I went flat for a second because what I was thinking, what I was gonna tell you is you said, how do you know it was gonna work? And what I'd share with anybody watching in any kind of marketing or any kind of persuasion or any kind of Getting some attracting somebody, persuading someone and getting them to take action. When I look back at those original infomercials, I had two things going for me. I wasn't the smartest guy in the world. Struggled reading, insecure about that. Wasn't college educated. I don't have a really incredible vocabulary. It's hard for me to articulate certain words because they just, they're not in there.

• 16:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:42Dean Graziosi?

  Right? But what I had was is enthusiasm and authenticity. When I look back at those infomercials and they hit like monsters. I mean, one infomercial I did, one of the first sit down

• 16:55Dean Graziosi?

  Infomercials I did, did 150 million in sales.

• 16:58Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:58Dean Graziosi?

  Just one infomercial. And.

• 17:01Lewis Howes?

  How long a period was that over?

• 17:02Dean Graziosi?

  About 18 months.

• 17:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow. It's amazing.

• 17:04Dean Graziosi?

  And I look back at that and I don't say that to brag and that all that's not profit, you know.

• 17:10Lewis Howes?

  You spent a lot of media.

• 17:10Dean Graziosi?

  Of course. So I don't want anybody, I'm not, and I barely say anything about money. I'm saying that to make an impact. Because I wasn't the smartest guy. I didn't go to college. I didn't come from anything. Most people watching are way further ahead than I was when I started.

• 17:22Lewis Howes?

  You weren't trained on the camera.

• 17:24Dean Graziosi?

  But what I did have is I look back even at those old shows where I'm embarrassed to see myself and my New York accent was like super heavy. That's where I grew up. Is I had authenticity and enthusiasm and I think people could see this guy really wants to help. It wasn't scripted, it wasn't perfect, I stuttered, I said words wrong. I mean, I look at some of those, I used the wrong words in the wrong context, but it's still converted. And as I evolved, so you say, what's the foundation? Like as I evolved and I did the first time I ever did a sit down Larry King style infomercial, he's the one that gave me the idea for that. Then I did the one where I was driving in my car. The reason I did that driving in my car is I wanted people to know that I wasn't using a teleprompter. There wasn't somebody scripting me, there wasn't a million cuts, it was me just driving. Wasn't produced, it was me driving from my office.

• 18:10Dean Graziosi?

  I started it with a backpack. I said, "I'm going home, you want to take a ride with me?" And I talked till I got home. You, Brianna and my son were probably three in one. When I got to the door, they came running out, that was the end of the infomercial.

• 18:21Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 18:22Dean Graziosi?

  Right, and that wasn't even planned, they just ran out because dad was home, right? But I did that because I could tell the authenticity and the enthusiasm I had to change people's lives was there. So, what I'd say for an infomercial, for any kind of marketing, for selling yourself, you still need the core, I mean, what I wrote in this book, but what you need is the core foundations of what success are. Now, I would say a couple of things when it comes to persuasion. Out of all my years of doing this and being lucky to sell, I wasn't a scientist of selling. I was just an innate, I had an innate ability to sell through that passion. And then you get your 10,000 hours in and all of a sudden it becomes good, right? So, on the job training, right? But when I look back, and if I go off in an area that you want to reel me back in, reel it back in,

• 19:07Dean Graziosi?

  but people buy from you, will love you, will learn from you, will give you a promotion when they feel understood, not when they understand you. And that was one of the biggest lessons I read. When you watch someone who is so full of knowledge, so full of wisdom and wants to sell their products, sell themselves, get the raise, close the deal at the boardroom, they're always want to just exude who they are, their credentials, what they have and how they could solve the problem. And that will get you so far. Like, being great at sharing who you are will get you out of Egypt. Understand how people feel and letting them feel understood will get you to the promised land. Right, so when you go to an audience or you're talking to close a deal, most people want to share. Most of the time, you just need to be quiet and find what's going on in that person's life.

• 19:51Dean Graziosi?

  Be an expert at the temporary state of mind. Like, understand what they're going through at that minute and let them feel understood. When you let people feel understood, when someone's watching you and you do an amazing job, dude, I've been watching you forever and I love what you do. But when someone watches you and go, "Man, that guy gets me. He understands where I'm going at. He understands my struggles. He understands where I want to go." That's someone I can hitch my cart to. Rather than someone who's got great credentials and tells you, "I understand that person, but I don't think he understands where I'm at." Right? And so, the two things when it comes to an infomercial, comes to anything with persuasion, the two things I always tell myself is, how do I make sure that person feels understood? And secondly, how do I enter a conversation going on in their mind, not mine?

• 20:35Dean Graziosi?

  You know, when you were on your sister's couch, you had different struggles, right? Now, I come to Dohany Drive in LA, you're in a completely different world, a completely different space, flying to the White House and all this stuff that you've got going on. The conversations in your head have changed dramatically from when you were on your sister's couch to now.

• 20:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:53Dean Graziosi?

  So, what happens, and I've watched this with marketers and people in business, as they evolve, you remember that pain, that passion, the desire for more. I mean, you could probably close your eyes right now and remember that desire and think, "Am I ever going to make it?" And even a little bit of envy for maybe some of your buddies who made it, or a little jealousy, doesn't mean that you wished ill thoughts on them, but it's like, "Damn it, they made it. I don't have it. What if I never get it?" If you remember that pain, if you remember that process, you remember that thoughts, you will always serve anybody watching who needs that. But what happens to some people is, as they evolve, and you're going to join the country club, maybe you're going to get married, you're going to move to the suburbs, now you've got an accountant and you've got two assistants, and now should I hire a sales team? Got a private jet, and then is the pilot going to be laid?

• 21:38Dean Graziosi?

  And then, you know, and then you're like, "I've got a Facebook team. Should I outsource the Facebook marketing?" And all of a sudden, your conversations change. You get to do an interview, or you pitch on camera, or you do an infomercial. And all of a sudden, you're having conversations in your head and your audience feels disconnected. And you don't even know why. Like, what did I miss? Because now you're asking questions of a completely different group because you've evolved. So, the two things, again, I always go back to, even before I turn the camera on, before I go on stage, before I do an infomercial, I said, "People buy from you, love you, adore you, will learn from you if they feel understood." And I want to enter conversations going on in their heads, not mine.

• 22:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow, powerful.

• 22:17Dean Graziosi?

  So, too, too simple, like, such simple little things, but it's a foundation for persuasion.

• 22:22Lewis Howes?

  Amazing, man. So, what are some of the habits, then, that you've learned over the years that the millionaires have that the rest of people don't have?

• 22:31Dean Graziosi?

  So, this is gonna sound, this one's gonna sound crazy, but this is one that I've, I shouldn't say it sounds crazy. It sounds too simple. But this one's been a passion of mine for the last, probably, two years more than ever. Last six months especially. I told you before, with, with being a dad, you know, you always want to be able to look in the mirror, no matter how much money you're making and what you're doing for a living, and look at that person and say, "Are you good with you?" Like, are you compromising who you are? Are you going against your values to be successful? But, you know, you just, you have to have that conversation with the man in the mirror, right?

• 23:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 23:02Dean Graziosi?

  But when you have kids, it compounds times a thousand. Anybody watching who knows, knows exactly what I'm saying. Kids don't do what you say, they do what you do. So, you have somebody watching, if I want to be the best dad possible, I want to, I, I need to keep evolving and faster than ever. So, I would say a morning routine, this is just one of them that's been huge in my life, is setting my day up for success. And, and, you know, in an interview like this, there's so many different directions we can go, but I want to give some really strong takeaways here, is, everybody watching, we suffer on all different levels of suffering. We, some people suffer on a high level, some people suffer because, is the job gonna get done? Is the, is the deal gonna come through? Like, we have these moments of suffering, no matter if it's five minutes of suffering, or an hour of suffering, or months of suffering.

• 23:47Dean Graziosi?

  Some people lose a relationship and they suffer for years. Some people have a partner, take their money. They suffer for years and they're stuck in that. And if you can limit the time you suffer... The more you can work on the solutions, the better your life. People stuck in suffering are stuck forever. And we know, right now I'm saying it and you're thinking of friends that you have that are stuck some. They, they went, went, went, found some suffering and they just crippled.

• 24:10Lewis Howes?

  Or moments where I was suffering and I didn't let go of it.

• 24:12Dean Graziosi?

  You can't let go of it, right?

• 24:13Lewis Howes?

  Or I held on to it for too long and it hurt me.

• 24:15Dean Graziosi?

  Right, and if you hold on to it, there's not enough energy or focus to keep moving forward. You could, that's when you still, right?

• 24:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:20Dean Graziosi?

  So, what, I've been on this obsession and literally Tony Robbins flew out. Him and I got really close. He flew out and him and I had lunch about nine months ago. And he's on the same thing of like eliminating, like complete suffering gone. Like instead of it hours or weeks, it's moments that you catch it. So, morning routines help me more than ever. And I'll tell you mine, anybody wants to steal this, this works for me. Cause I, I want to set my days up for least amount of suffering, feeling grateful and ready to, you know, just rock it the day, like nothing can get me off. Now, everybody knows gratitude is a key to success, happiness, joy. You can't be grateful and depressed, grateful and sad. You just can't do the two together, but it's hard sometimes. I feel like the Roadrunners before your time, but when I was a kid, remember beep beep, the Roadrunner?

• 25:05Dean Graziosi?

  There was the Tasmanian Devil?

• 25:06Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 25:07Dean Graziosi?

  So, most of our lives with Facebook and social media and cell phones. We're like the Tasmanian Devil, there's so much dust around us. It's hard to like see through it, right? Like it's like, I just gotta get through this storm and then I'll be okay. How do I, you want me to set a goal and be grateful? Like, how do I get out of this dust storm, right?

• 25:21Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 25:22Dean Graziosi?

  So, I've just obsessed on how do I start my day to make sure it doesn't happen? So, one thing I do is at night, put your, I put my phone on airplane mode. And for the last year especially, when I wake up in the morning, I do not check email or texts. Because I can't, if I check email or texts.

• 25:36Lewis Howes?

  Especially in bed, right?

• 25:37Dean Graziosi?

  Right, and who, and I've done it for years. I'm not telling you something that I haven't done, but the great texts put me in a good mood. Bad texts, I become the.

• 25:43Lewis Howes?

  When you're anxious.

• 25:44Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, like, and you're like, oh, you know, I should get this done. I should just get this out of the way, right? And you become the thermometer of life. Life just grabbed the hold of you and they're gonna tell you how your day's gonna be. I don't know if I'm gonna adjust you on the heat up, the ice cold, or stressed, or anxious, or. So, I leave my phone on airplane mode and the first thing I do is I feed my soul, right? And, and that's not this, I'm just being honest. I don't chant, I don't do hours of meditation. What I've done is I've lowered the bar of gratitude. Now, these are habits that you think, oh, this is revolutionary. These are the habits that I look, have made me successful, make me keep going forward. Push through the negative times, keep reaching for the next thing. So, I, I find gratitude, but I've lowered the bar.

• 26:25Dean Graziosi?

  And I just said this, but I'll wake up some mornings and be like, damn, these sheets are amazing. You know, I mean, 150,000, you can Google it, 150,000 people die every day. There's some days I just wake up and go, damn, I'm not one of them. I'm here. And when you can find gratitude on the lowest level, not I conquered, I did. Look, I see your wall. You've interviewed such amazing people. You gotta be so proud of yourself. I look at it, I admire it. That's amazing goals, but sometimes we just set ourselves up until you get the next one of those pictures up there. The rest of the stuff is just mundane. It's not. We're in this beautiful world. We're blessed every day. We're learning every moment. Even an interview like this, take, take all the stuff I say, throw most of it away. If you get one thing I say today, it was worth your time with us being together. Just one thing, right?

• 27:09Dean Graziosi?

  So I find a way to be grateful in like the first few moments I wake up by lowering the bar. No big special thing. Or sometimes I'll open a book like I just read The Untethered Soul for the second time. Love that book. I'll read two sentences out loud and then I feed my body. So I immediately get up and I do, I mean, it's just my personal thing, but I do a glass, a full, big glass of water with a lemon, a green juice, some essential oils, and I down that because I feel like I'm feeding my body. And then I go move. Whether it's workout, run, exercise, and someone isn't working out, I just move. And those three things set me up for a successful day. And then when I get back, this is something I've been doing for a year and I'd say, rob this because there's things that,

• 27:49Dean Graziosi?

  listen, you're in business. There's things that you love to do. It's your core competency. You were put on this earth to do. It's interviewing, it's meeting people, it's networking, whatever you have is meant to be. But there's some things that you do. It's like, I don't want to do that conference call. I don't want to sit with my accountant and go over numbers. I just, whatever it is, right? And I used to think, man, I have to do that today. And I just switch that in the mornings. I write a quick little list every day of what I get to do. I just put the word, what I get to do. When I think about that, I, I used to, I used to literally, Live in a bathroom with my dad and I, in my teens, I worked on cars every day and smoke, you know, smelled fumes because I was like the rooms were always smoky. I was the only one painter in our collision shop and I'd have headaches and like I could be doing that. So I have to do

• 28:34Dean Graziosi?

  conference calls on Tuesdays and I don't like conference calls.

• 28:36Lewis Howes?

  You get to do conference calls.

• 28:37Dean Graziosi?

  Now, when I say I get to do conference calls, it changes everything. So that little routine.

• 28:41Lewis Howes?

  You're not a victim anymore.

• 28:42Dean Graziosi?

  I'm not a victim anymore, right? And, and again, on every level, it's, it makes a difference.

• 28:46Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. I love it. Any other have or any other thing in the morning that you, you do?

• 28:51Dean Graziosi?

  No, that's it. That's, that's my morning routine.

• 28:53Lewis Howes?

  Are there any non-negotiables every day for you besides the routine?

• 28:56Dean Graziosi?

  No, not really.

• 28:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:57Dean Graziosi?

  I'm pretty flexible.

• 28:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Okay, cool. Uh, there's a part actually that I wanted to go over in your book called the Seven Levels Deep. Is that what it is?

• 29:03Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 29:04Lewis Howes?

  And this is an exercise that you do, right? And what is this exercise for?

• 29:08Dean Graziosi?

  Okay.

• 29:09Lewis Howes?

  And how does it go?

• 29:10Dean Graziosi?

  Okay, so Seven Levels Deep was probably the biggest impact, uh, the biggest thing in the impact in my life ever.

• 29:17Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:17Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. One, one day. So I, I hired a guy named Joe Stump. Do you know Joe Stump?

• 29:21Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 29:21Dean Graziosi?

  Great guy. Uh, he's in the marketing world, but I hired him because I want more engagement with my students. So it's, it's all about, if you can get somebody to digest some of your book, if somebody will read 30 pages of your book, they'll read the whole book. But how do you get them to the first 30 pages? So I'm always obsessing and trying to create ethical bribes, whatever I could do to get you to take action, right? Um, we know books work. It's the books and the action. So I was, so anyway, so Joe comes in and he, I said, I want to do whatever I can. And he said, have you ever done the seven levels deep? I don't know where he got it from. This is probably about eight years ago. She was two. So about eight years ago, um, and I said, if it's good, just give it to me.

• 29:57Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 29:57Dean Graziosi?

  I'll take it. I'll take it. And he's like, I want to go through it with you. I'm like, listen, and, and I paid Joe 10 grand for half a day of, of consulting at the time. And he's like, I said, I want to go through. I just want it. He goes, I won't give it to you unless you do it. So we sit there and what the seven levels deep is, is finding, everybody wants to know your purpose and what's, what's this meaning of life and what's my why and all that. I get, and it's kind of played out, but I don't know if anything really gets to the heart of the, of it as simple as this. So what it basically was, he's like, why would you give me 10 grand for half a day? And I said, because I want to create a company that stands out from everybody else. I want to engage more students, change more lives.

• 30:32Dean Graziosi?

  And he basically said to me, "That's a really great answer." So I asked you why I'm here. And he said, "You want to engage more students and get more people to change their lives." So why is it important for you to engage more students and change people's lives? And I remember saying, "You know, there's a lot of people in this industry that shouldn't be here, and there's some great people. I want to help rise all boats of the good and push the rest out. I want to leave a legacy for my kids." So he said, "Okay, I asked you why you paid me 10 grand." I'm not going to go through this whole thing. And he's like, "You did this. You know, you said you wanted to stand out and you wanted to leave a legacy." So why is it important to leave a legacy? And the whole point is asking the previous question seven times. I took that that day. By the time I got to the third question, what happens is, the third, when there was three questions left, I should say, he asked me four times, it switched from my head to my heart.

• 31:15Dean Graziosi?

  And I felt my physiology change. I felt my emotions change. I felt like tears welling up. And when he asked me, and I don't even remember what the fourth thing I said, but the third thing I said was, "I never want to go backwards." And he got me thinking about things I haven't thought about in years. I didn't like being the kid with hand-me-downs and I'd make my parents drop me off down the street with their junky car. And I'd go to lunch, and this is not a poor me. My life was designed to be exactly the way it was, or I wouldn't be the man or the father I am today. But there was days I'd go to school without lunch money, and I'd just tell my buddies, "I'm not hungry," because we didn't have a buck, right? So I never want to go back there. And I felt that emotion, and it hit me so hard. I'm like, "That's what it is." And he's like, "Well, there's two more left." So he said, "Dean, why is it important that you never go backwards?" And I'm like, "I don't know."

• 31:59Dean Graziosi?

  And it hit me, and I thought, "My kids. I just want to give them options. I don't want to raise entitled kids or brats, but I want to give them options that I didn't have." And I'm like, "That's it." So he's like, "Well, that's not really it, because it's seven. It's not nine, it's not five, it's seven levels deep." And by now, I'm crying because I'm thinking about my kids, literally. And I got half my staff there, and I'm like, just weeping. And it came to me. He said, "Why is that important?" And it just hit me. And I never knew why I worked so hard since I was cutting firewood in high school and did all this stuff. I said, "I need to be in control of my life." And these emotions flooded in my parents, everybody's got their thing, right? But for me, and I'm saying this because I want you at home to be, or when you're watching this, listen to this. I realized that my parents were married nine times when I was a kid. So I moved 20 times by the time I was 19, different step brothers, step sisters.

• 32:44Lewis Howes?

  Both parents were married.

• 32:45Dean Graziosi?

  Five for my dad, five for my mom, four for my dad.

• 32:47Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 32:48Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. It's crazy, always moving, like military kids know what that feels like, right? So I'd be in a cul-de-sac with a new stepdad, stepbrothers, stepsisters, have the bike, come home one day and my mom's like, we're moving again. And then I move in with my dad, move in with my grandmother, so I had this crazy hopscotch, my whole childhood. There was no certainty. So what I realized at that moment, literally, I'm bawling, I mean like literally crying, it's like, I don't want anybody to ever tell me when to move, how to dress, how to live, how to work, who, how I'm gonna raise my kids. Definitely not gonna kiss somebody's ass for money, right? And I realized at that moment, my why was, I, I don't wanna be a control freak, I just wanna be in control. When I was 27, I retired both my parents, I stopped worrying about them, I took care of my grandmother, I take care of somebody, like,

• 33:29Dean Graziosi?

  so I got those problems out of the way, and when I anchored that in, and you watching at home, it's like, if you think you're watching this because you wanna be an entrepreneur, you want, or you already are, if you're watching this, you've already had great success in your life. You want that next level, or maybe it's income, or, or better health, or better diet, or better physiology, whatever it is you want. So many times, we think it's because I wanna get out of that job. I want this freedom, I just want more money, I wanna take the better vacations, and it's seven times deeper than that. And when you find that, and the reason I know this, not only because, it wasn't just transformative to me, transformational to me, is I did live events in Las Vegas for six years straight. Every single month, there was 400 people in the room that paid 20 grand to go to.

• 34:11Lewis Howes?

  Real estate events, right?

• 34:11Dean Graziosi?

  Real estate events, so about five and a half years I did them, um, every month in Las Vegas. So once a month I'd fly in, and that was like the highest level. And I, every single month, I'd raise, I'd get, I'd pick somebody out of the audience, and I'd say, come on up, let's do this seven levels deep, like, I got it, man, I know what it is, and I'm like, okay, so, like, I'm gonna give you a quick example, I, I won't, I won't beat this up, but this is so important. Because when you feel fatigued, when you wanna say no, when you don't wanna go to the gym, when you don't wanna make that sales call, when you don't wanna get your funnel working, when you don't wanna start new, when you don't wanna say no to someone you should say no to, or say yes to someone else you should say yes to. Literally, for me still, I fall back on my why, when I think of my kids and going backwards, and being in control, I could push through anything, nothing will stop me, a bad day, I don't know what it's like to be sick, because in my mind, I, I can.

• 34:57Dean Graziosi?

  Program my brain to just power through because I focus foundationally on this why. So I get, I remember this guy, he was awesome. This big dude, he had dreadlocks. He was like six foot seven. I mean, six foot five. He was huge. Just awesome dude. He comes up. He's like, man, like pick me up. He gives me this big hug. He's like, so I said, why are you here? He's like, I already know, dude, you're not going to get seven levels on me. You're not gonna, I've already done the exercise. He says, I'm here because in my neighborhood, there's no dads. There's not enough dads in my neighborhood. I grew up without a dad. These kids need dads, so I'm making money in real estate and I'm starting this youth group. I already had debt. We get dads together and we go spend these days. He had his, he had this amazing story and I mean, I melted on the first one. And I said, why is that important? He goes, dude, what do you mean, why is that important? He goes, of course it's important. And he's laughing, he's joking, and he gives me another reason.

• 35:42Dean Graziosi?

  I want more money because I want to build a building for it. But I could tell he was still in his head. He gets to number two or one and his, everything changed on him. He gets small and he starts crying. I mean, like uncontrollable crying and he gets to his number one. He's like, my mom raised a good boy, but when she died nine years ago, I was a drug addict. And she never saw the man she created. And she said, I'm showing her in heaven what a man she, I mean, I'm saying it right now. I got physical good. He said that and I said, he said, I'll never stop now. I'll never stop. And again, we all have our own reasons for doing stuff, but when you get to the heart of why you're watching, why you do what you do, it's so much deeper than what you think. And I forget sometimes. I,

• 36:24Dean Graziosi?

  I hope I don't sit here and feel like, seem like I got my life all figured out. I've been blessed to have more, I've had more blessings in my life than I ever could imagine. If somebody would have told me at 25, this is where I'd be, I'd say, impossible. So I, I appreciate my blessings, but I'm not, I'm not perfect at all this stuff. But when I practice these habits, when I think through this, when I recognize my why, the days that I'm off track, the days I think I bit off more than I can chew, or the days where I feel like I plateaued, when I go back to that why, it's like game over. You're not getting in my way. Nothing is.

• 36:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You got me emotional. What is the, I mean, you've achieved so much over the years. You know, you said in the first 18 months, 150 million in sales, you know, and that was 20 years ago and the things you've created now, 10 years ago, the things you've created now, you've created so much. You've impacted so many lives. It sounds like you don't need to work or need to keep pushing.

• 37:13Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 37:13Lewis Howes?

  Um, but why do you, what's the dream and why do you keep going after it?

• 37:16Dean Graziosi?

  So I think it's three things. So real quick, I think there's three types of entrepreneurs. There's an entrepreneur who wants to work under the blanket of someone else, right? They're the company, they're the person that's in a company like, man, that guy, that woman, she just, she, they want to rise up through the ranks and be an entrepreneur, but kind of with the safety net. And it doesn't make them better or worse than anybody. I mean, without the implementers in your life, without the team, who would I be without the amazing people on my team? Secondly, there's lifestyle entrepreneurs, like my buddy Dean Jackson. He's got this, I know I'm being successful when list. This is for anybody's got a lifestyle entrepreneur. There's just a certain amount of money. He says, I know I'm being successful when I don't, I don't have an alarm clock in my house and it never goes off. I wear black T-shirts every day and no one gives a shit.

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:57Dean Graziosi?

  Uh, um, I golf, you know, I golf at least five times a week. I live on a $50,000 a month net income. I live like, what'd he say? I live like an artist with a trust fund, except I don't know how to paint. So he's got this, he's, so he like, he has this list. He knows he's being successful when, and that's, that's lifestyle entrepreneur. And then there's entrepreneurs that just want to keep, that just want to, they're accomplishment based. It has nothing to do with the money. They thought it was, and I think this with me, they thought it was when I get the money and success out of the way, then I could stop worrying. And it's not, it's the next accomplishment. What can you do this, this, but it's, yeah, it's, it's the game. And I think it converts. That's why you see somebody like Richard Branson that, that his whole life now is, is, uh, Virgin United, you know, his charity. I, I'd spent a couple of weeks with him out in his island.

• 38:40Dean Graziosi?

  Cause we, me and Joe Polish raised a million bucks for him. So we got to spend time with him. And he started that same process, made all the money, and then now he's still driven, but now it's how many more schools he could build in Africa. So it never changes. It just, but always have your focus on something like, you see people who go to, you know, Warren Buffett, his age, he's still crushing because he has a bigger purpose. We always have to have that. So I would say, yeah, I, you know, a couple of years ago, especially when the kids are young, I was thinking of, should I just cash out and spend 10 years being dad? But I would, I wouldn't be the best me. I love accomplishing. I love creating. I love something new, uh, you know, so.

• 39:13Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. What do you want to accomplish in your life? What's the big thing?

• 39:18Dean Graziosi?

  Big thing is, uh, you know, I. First and foremost, I'd love to say it's, you know, I'd say top two is showing people an easier path. I think most people are, they're driving 100 miles an hour and they don't know where to go. It's like even if they got a Ferrari engine, they don't have any GPS and it's like everybody's going fast and most of the time they think it's going to be this dramatic spectacular thing and a lot of teams, it's the same thing that they could have learned from Dale Carnegie or Earl Nightingale or Napoleon Hill or, or somebody, you know, it's just these simple core things that can make them slow down and achieve. And I think that I can, I think I have the ability to deliver a message in a way that it sticks. And that's what I've been blessed to do in real estate is it's not that I had found the only way to make money in real estate, but I'm the, I was

• 40:02Dean Graziosi?

  the biggest real estate educator in the entire world. There was nobody even close to me. It was like second, second through 20th place didn't make up the volume I did, right?

• 40:10Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 40:11Dean Graziosi?

  And there was other guys that were great at education. I just think I found a way to deliver it. It's probably because of my dyslexia and my learning disabilities and stuff. I found a way to give people recipes. So I would say the big fuel is, is getting people these strategies in their hands so they could see there's a better way. But the number one is, is to just be a totally present and impactful father. Like I, it's, it's just where I'm at. And it's magical age. Anybody who's watching remembers their kids eight, 10 years old. It's like they're just, it's all, I'm still Superman. They still love me.

• 40:41Lewis Howes?

  For two, three years.

• 40:42Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, exactly. So I'm going to absorb it while I can, you know?

• 40:45Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 40:45Dean Graziosi?

  Couple of years, I might have a, you know, a new, you know, thing for trying to get teenagers to like you or something. I don't know.

• 40:52Lewis Howes?

  Sure. What's the, um, the thing people misunderstand about you the most?

• 40:59Dean Graziosi?

  I would say because I did infomercials for years. Me and years, Tony and I had this conversation. A lot of times when somebody sees you on an infomercial, it's like, oh, that guy's, you know, that guy's got to be a huckster. He's just schlepping books on a, on an infomercial. So I think the biggest misconception is that I'm an introvert. When I'm on stage or on camera or an interview, I love it. But if I go to my kid's school function, there's a whole bunch of people around, I'm the one hiding in the corner or playing with the kids. I'm not a networker. I've never had a business card in my entire life. And I think some people, when they see that, if they're looking from afar, if they don't come up and shake my hand, people will say, "Oh, that guy, he's too good for everybody. He doesn't talk to anybody. I really don't know. I'm hiding."

• 41:37Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 41:37Dean Graziosi?

  Right? So I would say that. And I think the infomercial thing, you know, I'll give, I gotta just one more thing about Tony Robbins. The first time I met him, about five years ago, I go up to his hotel room. He's doing a date with Destiny, invites me up for lunch. And I get there and we're talking for like 15 minutes. And he stands up and he picks up and he gives me a hug and he says, "I gotta apologize to you." He's like, "I almost canceled this meeting today because you're an infomercial guy." And he goes, "I made a judgment." And he goes, "What an ass, because I was the infomercial guy." He goes, "I've been trying to run away from it because people look at you and wonder." And he said, "And I judged you wrong." And we've been really close since then. So I think that, those two things are probably the biggest.

• 42:15Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Wow. And I'm surprised you still do infomercials then if you think so many people, you know?

• 42:21Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, you know what? So I, I don't mind because it's all about the message. I want to get my message out there. I've been off TV for two and a half years on purpose, by choice. Um, but with Millionaire Success Habits, I just, I ran across Larry King, who was a big impact in my life. We met. I said, "Do you want to do a show? You're the one who inspired me to do sit-down infomercials."

• 42:40Lewis Howes?

  So he interviewed you?

• 42:40Dean Graziosi?

  He interviewed me. And the funny thing is, so I'm going to digress here for a minute. I'm going to digress on two things that are really funny. So eight, nine years ago, I'm watching Larry King interview Joel Osteen. He says to Joel, I'm guessing nine, nine, 10 years ago, he says to Joel, "I'm a Jew. I don't believe in Jesus. That mean I'm going to hell." I'm like, "Oh, my God. Could you imagine getting asked that on Larry King when there's millions of people watching?" Joel like turned different colors. He didn't know how to answer. And, and if, if you don't know who Joel Osteen is, like the biggest pastor in the world, right? Um, so I see that and I remember thinking, oh my God, could you imagine if Larry just looked at the camera and said, hey, like Joel or not, if you'd like to get his book, call our show. And that's what inspired me to do a Larry King show. I just thought, so I raced and I built a set like Larry King.

• 43:25Dean Graziosi?

  I spent four grand for the Larry King's microphone, right? I did all this stuff. I do an interview and that was my big breakout show. That's when my company went from 10, 15 million a year. We broke a hundred million dollars in a year within 18 months because of that sit down live.

• 43:37Lewis Howes?

  It's the other guy. It's like the bald guy or the balding guy.

• 43:40Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, we had different guys. Yeah, we had different guys through the years, but we did all these different things, right? So I say that and so Larry King inspired me to do that. It was just the change. Now, everybody does sit down interviews, but I was the first one out there and the first one who sold a book.

• 43:52Lewis Howes?

  On the infomercial.

• 43:53Dean Graziosi?

  On the infomercial, direct to consumer. So we sell the book. Larry makes an impact in my life. He doesn't know it. Fast forward years. Now Larry comes. I haven't used that set in ages. We wheel it back out because Larry's coming. Right? To do this interview and I'm, I'm nervous. Like I'm a little kid. Larry King's coming. I mean, I know you know Larry.

• 44:10Lewis Howes?

  Larry's sitting right here when I interviewed him, yeah.

• 44:11Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. So Larry comes and he gets there and we go to dinner that night and the next day he comes in the studio and I'm telling him this story. And as it, he's kind of not paying attention to me and he looks over and he goes, you know, the mic is supposed to be here.

• 44:23Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 44:23Dean Graziosi?

  And he moved it. I was just like, oh, this is so crazy. And we just riffed. He goes, you have questions for me? I said, here's my goal, Larry. I, I do. I have all your questions and I loaded on a teleprompter. But why don't you just start the show like you always start your shows when you say to somebody, why this book? Why now? He used to say that all the time. And he goes, Dean, you don't need this. Why the hell are you doing a book now? And we just riffed for a half hour. And so that's everybody watching, you guys will see that show.

• 44:44Lewis Howes?

  So there was no pre, and there's no questions he really used off the prompt or he just kind of went off one or two and?

• 44:48Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. And we rocked it and, and the show tested. It's solid. It'll be out in February. So can I tell you a really funny story? Larry, if you, he is a, he's an amazing joke teller.

• 44:57Lewis Howes?

  Amazing joke and storyteller.

• 44:58Dean Graziosi?

  Oh my God, there's nobody better on the planet.

• 45:00Lewis Howes?

  Jokes for days.

• 45:00Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah. And, and I'm, I don't know if you know who Harvey McKay is.

• 45:02Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 45:02Dean Graziosi?

  Swimming shark. So last Friday Larry came to my office and Harvey's there. They're there for two hours. I'm between these two, 83 and 84 years old. They got more history and stories. And they're just out doing each other with stories. It's non-stop. And I just, and they'd look at me and I'd be like, I got nothing. Just you guys keep going. So Larry's, Larry for like the, all the years he's doing live with Larry King. They have this, they have, he has a producer who's like a practical. A prankster and he said, but big time, really good at what he does. And he said, anytime that someone was in the office a little off or grumpy, they'd get him. So he said, they had this guy, I don't know what department, but he was kind of a pain in the ass for lack of a better word.

• 45:39Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 45:39Dean Graziosi?

  So they wanted to get him. So the guy came in every day structured. He came in with his briefcase, his hat, his overcoat. He'd hang his hat, hang his overcoat up. And go to work. So they went and found the hat, the exact hat and bought one two sizes too small.

• 45:51Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 45:52Dean Graziosi?

  So every day he'd come in, they let him go for a week where he'd go to put the hat on.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 45:56Dean Graziosi?

  He couldn't get over his head. Like me, I'd have to tell the guy like in a day. So the guy's freaked out. He's coming in off like just off. He thinks his head's swollen, right?

• 46:03Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 46:04Dean Graziosi?

  So they didn't, they didn't just leave it there. I'm like, then you told him? He goes, no. He goes, then we bought a hat two sizes too big.

• 46:09Lewis Howes?

  Shut up.

• 46:09Dean Graziosi?

  And we left that there for a week. And he said, he was rolling up paper and stuffing it in his hat.

• 46:13Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 46:14Dean Graziosi?

  And I'm like, oh my God. I mean, but Larry tells that story so amazing. And then they finally told him after two weeks.

• 46:19Lewis Howes?

  That's hilarious.

• 46:20Dean Graziosi?

  Anyway, I didn't mean to digress. It was just a funny story.

• 46:22Lewis Howes?

  No, it's amazing. Um, is there any question that you wish more people would ask you?

• 46:27Dean Graziosi?

  Um.

• 46:28Lewis Howes?

  That they don't ask?

• 46:30Dean Graziosi?

  God, that's a really good, that's a really good question. Um. Yeah, probably how to get, you know, I, I think, and I watched this when we, when we did the fundraiser with Richard Branson, we went there. I watched everybody trying to ask him. Like, how'd you get to be a billionaire? And I don't, I think that's the wrong question when you see somebody successful. I think it's, I think it's more of like. Asking them either what their why was, or how they overcame obstacles, or how they persevered. So I, I think, and, and I don't think it's about our, it's about the story. It's just, I think so many people give up on the five yard line. I think, I think so many of you are just there and you think it's so much heavier. It, when you start playing at a higher level, there's not a lot of competition.

• 47:12Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 47:13Dean Graziosi?

  And it's not doing, I'm not doing much different. I'm just being honest with you. I'm not doing much different now than I did to start my collision shop and start my auto sales. I'm doing the same thing, just on a bigger scale. I still have to overcome negativity. I still have to get out of bed. I still am stressed some days and there's some days I question myself. There's some days I make bad decisions. And it's just how you get over them, how you handle it and how you go forward is, is everything. And, and, and you say that and I'm, I'm talking and thinking at the same time and, and I don't know how much time we have left, but I would say the last thing. Or, or one of the last things I'd love people to, to really think about is their thoughts. Have you ever read The Untethered Soul?

• 47:51Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 47:51Dean Graziosi?

  It's a, gotta put it on your list.

• 47:53Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 47:53Dean Graziosi?

  It's a, how about Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now?

• 47:56Lewis Howes?

  Sure, yeah, yeah.

• 47:56Dean Graziosi?

  Sure you read that?

• 47:56Lewis Howes?

  I have, yes.

• 47:57Dean Graziosi?

  Okay, so, and Untethered Soul is, for me, it's that and so much more. It's a great book.

• 48:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 48:02Dean Graziosi?

  Um, so, I don't know if you had another question, so I think, so I'll reframe that. It's that one.

• 48:07Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 48:07Dean Graziosi?

  But if it was one specific question, I'd love for people to say, how do you be the observer of your thoughts? And that's something-

• 48:14Lewis Howes?

  So how do you?

• 48:15Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, and that's something I would, I would, the only reason I say this is because I've been obsessed with it for the last three years, because I want to be the observer of thoughts immediately. And I'm not there yet. I want it to trigger, because when you're having a bad day, an angst day, a stressful day, you feel off or overwhelmed, most of the time it's just the thoughts we're having in that particular day. And when you can look back and view those thoughts, you can make a decision to throw them out, or not let that spin you up, or feel it for 10 minutes and then throw it out, but when you leave them there, they just linger. And the more I've become aware of my thoughts, the more I've evolved as a person. So, again, I'm sitting here because my daughter, you're probably bored to death, hon, love you.

• 48:59Dean Graziosi?

  Uh, she's doing great over there. Uh, I'm gonna tell a story about her. I am trying to observe my thoughts as they happen. So I don't know if, she'll remember this, but we were, we were, and I'm sharing this as my story, but I want you to put yourself in these shoes. This could be your husband, your wife, your kids, your coworker, your partner, people you do business with, employer, employees, but we're at breakfast, and breakfast is really important to our family. We have breakfast every single day. And, and I cook for them most of the time, and so we sit at breakfast and we try to have conversations about gratitude and all this kind of stuff. And my son, Brody, was obsessed with these crayons. And they were like these crazy colors. They weren't red, they were like aqua blue, marine, something, had these three, so I'm sitting there using them, and- And I pull it out, I go, "God, this is a cool color," and he names it.

• 49:43Dean Graziosi?

  And I'm telling this for a reason, so I pull out another, he names all, I was at 25 or 50 in that pack? So, he names all of them, these big, long names. I'm like, "Dude, what an incredible gift." I couldn't memorize these if I spent a month trying, because it's not how my brain thinks. But that's him, he's this structured, organized kid. So, Bree, she says to me, "I can do that," so I don't know if you remember this, honey, but she studied it. And like, five minutes later, on the second one, she didn't remember. I'm like, "We're all blessed with different gifts." I couldn't remember. He does that, but my daughter is the inventor. She comes up with ideas that are real, not kid inventions. She's gonna be a ma- she's gonna be the visionary, my son's gonna be the implementer. If you ever read Rocket Fuel, that's the two kids I have. I have an implementer and a visionary, right? So, when she tried, all of a sudden, she got upset and started almost crying, and she said,

• 50:27Dean Graziosi?

  because there was so much attention going to my son.

• 50:29Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 50:29Dean Graziosi?

  And she says, "Dad, it's because you spend more time with Brody than me in the mornings." And I remember just having the immediate thought that may have came from my dad, or the way I was brought up. And I said to her, "Bree, don't lie to me, and don't lie to yourself. That's not true." I worked my butt off to be completely equal, and you're telling yourself a lie, it's not a good story. And I went on this rant, and she tucked it up, she stopped tears, she tucked it up. It was the first time ever that she left the house without kissing me goodbye. Ever. And I'm like, "Well, she's just gotta learn that lesson." And she left for about a half hour. And I, like, it hit me like a ton of bricks, like, I observed that thought I had. And what I basically told my daughter is that I didn't give a shit about her feelings, that it didn't matter how she felt.

• 51:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 51:14Dean Graziosi?

  That Dad was right, tuck it down. I said, "If she was married to a man," and I watched her try to tell her husband about her feelings, how she was feeling, and he basically told her to shut up and tuck it down, I'd have a talk with that dude, if he's married to my daughter. And I treated my daughter that way. I got in my car, because I, only because I'm sharing this, because I practiced trying to observe what's going on. "Why am I feeling this way? What is this thought I'm having?" Step back, look at it. When I stepped back and looked at it, I knew I screwed up. I drove to school 100 miles an hour.

• 51:41Lewis Howes?

  Even if you were right.

• 51:42Dean Graziosi?

  Even if I was right. No, I might have been, I might have been right that I keep equal time.

• 51:46Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 51:46Dean Graziosi?

  But I didn't acknowledge her feelings.

• 51:48Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 51:48Dean Graziosi?

  I didn't acknowledge her feelings. I mean, and that's the gift of selling. It's not what people need, it's what they want, and how they feel, right? So, I told her her feelings were off. I drove to her school 100 miles an hour. You were at chapel, do you remember I came and got you out of chapel? I got her out of chapel, and I walked her outside, and I said, "Dad screwed up." I said, "I may have been right in context, but I wasn't right in telling you, your emotions mean something, your feelings mean something." And we had a great talk, we hugged, we kissed, her and I had the best relationship in the world and, and I left. And I felt amazing and she felt amazing. And I never would have caught that if I wasn't observing my thoughts. So I say that story about my family, my daughter, who's sitting here right now, but who, who are you not, you know, what thoughts are clouding your judgment in a marriage or in a relationship,

• 52:30Dean Graziosi?

  or in your partnership, or trying to get a raise, or taking your life to another level, whatever it is in your life, most of the time, it's those thoughts that are messing with us. And if you can, you can observe them, you can adjust them.

• 52:41Lewis Howes?

  Amazing, man. Um, I've got a few final questions for you. This has been great. Uh, this one's called the three truths.

• 52:47Dean Graziosi?

  Okay.

• 52:48Lewis Howes?

  So it's, um, many, many years down the line, you've achieved everything you want, but it's your last day. It's your last day here, right? And you know, it's the last day, your whole, your whole family is there, friends, everything. Um, for whatever reason, all your books have been erased from time. And they've sold hundreds of millions of them at this point. They're all gone.

• 53:06Dean Graziosi?

  Okay.

• 53:07Lewis Howes?

  And, uh, someone in your family comes up and says, I have a piece of paper and a pen. And all you get to do is write down three things you know to be true about everything you've experienced in your life. The three simple truths, or the three lessons that is all we would remember you by physically. All the stuff in the books is gone. What would be the three truths for you?

• 53:25Dean Graziosi?

  Um, wow, what a great question. I'm glad I didn't know that one in advance because I would have thought about it too much. That's really good, dude. Um, I think the three truths are that, um, it's not the objects, it's the things that we get to experience. So you can't buy your way. I, I, I had a lot of pain as a kid, which we all, and I, I know I thought for a time in my life that money would fix that. And there's nothing more than the experience. My daughter's on her first trip with me as a business trip. This will last, this is worth millions to me. I'd give up all my books to have that. So it's the, it's the moments and the experience, not the things. Um, is one. I would say, um, wow.

• 54:08Dean Graziosi?

  That I lived true, okay, this is a really good question, sorry I'm stuttering here.

• 54:14Lewis Howes?

  It's all good.

• 54:15Dean Graziosi?

  But I would say success is easier than people think. Like, I, I think, like, there's a lot of days, I'm like, man, when's everybody gonna figure out I'm not that smart?

• 54:26Dean Graziosi?

  I'm just being honest, I literally, for years, I would say, people are gonna figure I'm not that smart, I'm just enthusiastic and, and, you know, and I have the momentum and, and so I would say that that truth is, don't be over-prepared, be overly enthusiastic and committed. And I would say last is that I found a way to not, to let thoughts be things, not who I am. If thoughts can be automatically a thing, but not who I am in my soul, then I live the good life.

• 54:54Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, hmm, those are great truths, thank you. Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, Dean, for your incredible generosity and your enthusiasm for wanting to impact so many people.

• 55:06Dean Graziosi?

  Oh, thank you.

• 55:07Lewis Howes?

  From a guy that has gone through so much pain and suffering, to a person who's led a life of service and constantly pushing the envelope and showing what's possible.

• 55:16Dean Graziosi?

  Oh, thank you, man.

• 55:17Lewis Howes?

  For people like me who are dyslexic as well, and who barely, you know, got through high school and college myself, seven years of college.

• 55:25Lewis Howes?

  You're such an inspiration, every time I see your message, or see you in person, you're always smiling and happy and, and want to give to people.

• 55:32Dean Graziosi?

  Well, thank you.

• 55:32Lewis Howes?

  So I want to acknowledge you for all those gifts.

• 55:34Dean Graziosi?

  Well, thank you, and I, and I give that back, that's why I'm here, because I love what you're doing, and then don't, don't stop, keep pushing.

• 55:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:39Dean Graziosi?

  No matter what it takes, get it out there.

• 55:40Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it.

• 55:41Dean Graziosi?

  Thank you, man, appreciate you.

• 55:42Lewis Howes?

  We have one final question, but make sure you guys go get Millionaire Success Habits, go get the book, where's the link for it again?

• 55:48Dean Graziosi?

  Uh, you can, of course, it's on iTunes, but we set up a special link at M S H book dot com.

• 55:54Lewis Howes?

  M S H?

• 55:55Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, like Millionaire Success Habits, yeah, M S H book dot com.

• 55:58Lewis Howes?

  Awesome, we'll have that linked up in the show notes, and where do you like to hang out the most online? Do you spend time on social media at all yourself?

• 56:04Dean Graziosi?

  I don't, not much, a little bit on Facebook, a little bit on Instagram, but...

• 56:07Lewis Howes?

  Okay, we'll link it up there in the show notes as well. And the final question is, what's your definition of greatness?

• 56:16Dean Graziosi?

  Just going at it full tilt boogie. A buddy of mine used to say when I was in high school, he used to say when he was playing football, if he had a great day, he goes, and I was full tilt boogie. I don't even know what that means. But I think definition of greatness is just knowing that you gave it your all. And I think so many people on that last, when you're 90 years old and you look back, if you say, if you don't, if you didn't give it your all, I think that's going to be one of those things like, I had one shot at this. Why didn't I just go for it? Why didn't I say yes? Why didn't I finally say no? So I think greatness is just freaking putting the pedal to the metal.

• 56:45Lewis Howes?

  Dean, thanks so much for having me.

• 56:47Dean Graziosi?

  Thanks, man. Appreciate being here, man.

• 56:51Lewis Howes?

  I hope you guys enjoyed this interview. If you got some value out of this, please share this with your friends. Again, LewisHowes.com/428. Share it with your friends on social media and tag me @LewisHowes on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook. And let me know what you enjoyed most about this interview. The insight, the tip, the story that meant the most to you, that opened you up in some area of your business or your life. Again, LewisHowes.com/428 to watch the full video interview, to get all the information about how to connect with Dean online, to learn about where to get his book, and also to see all the show notes

• 57:32Lewis Howes?

  from what we covered in today's interview. If you're struggling in your life, if you feel stuck, if you feel like there's not a better option, there is. There are example after example of people that I bring on here, guys, that struggled at one point in their life and figured it out. Dean mentioned it over and over and again at the end, how, you know, he's wondering when people are going to find out that he's not that smart, that he's not that talented, but he's just figured out a couple of tweaks. And that's what it is, guys. It's a couple of tweaks every now and then that you're implementing and building over time. It's less crowded at the top, I'm telling you. For a kid who grew up not believing in himself,

• 58:15Lewis Howes?

  who grew up with my parents struggling, constantly arguing, who grew up in a small town in Ohio. The things I'm doing now, like Dean talked about, this is like a dream life. And the people I'm connecting with, I never would have, in my wildest dreams, thought that I'd have relationships with, or get to hang out with, or get to interview the people who sit in this studio right across from me to share their stories. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that would be possible for my life. But for almost a decade now, since I stopped playing professional football, my original dream, I have taken consistent actions that aren't that different than what you're taking. I've just tweaked them and optimized them a little bit to get me to where I want to be. And I'm constantly in the journey.

• 58:58Lewis Howes?

  I'm constantly in the process for the next level for myself. So now I see where I'm at. And if I feel stuck, I just know it's a couple little tweaks. And again, it's that enthusiasm, it's that passion that Dean talks about that really is contagious. And the more energy and passion and positivity that you bring, and an understanding of other people and their needs, you're going to create more abundance in your life. If you found this valuable, let me know. Again, LewisHowes.com/428. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.