342 Taye Diggs: Manage Your Ego by Living In Gratitude

"I prepare as much as I can and then I leave space for something that is unplanned." - Taye Diggs If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/342 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is episode number 342 with Tay Diggs.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Welcome everyone to a special edition of the School of Greatness podcast. I am pumped because we've got an incredible human being. His name is Tay Diggs. And that's right, he's in the greatness studio today. And boy, did we go there. Now I'm going to share a story with you in just a moment about how we personally got connected and how I made this interview happen. But for those that don't know who Tay is, he's got his degree in musical theater from Syracuse University. And he made his show business debut in the ensemble cast of the five-time Tony Award-winning play Carousel. And he's best known for his Broadway musical performance on Rent and in the film How Stella Got Her Groove Back.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  That is right, getting that groove back, as well as his time on TV's hit show Private Practice. Now, what I didn't really know about Tay is he's also a very passionate dancer and choreographer. So we'll talk more about that. Some of the main things we cover in today's interview are how to practice self-love without feeding your ego too much. Now Tay is a huge superstar, well-known all over the world. But we all need to fill our tanks up. We all need to feel positive, feel loved, and take care of ourselves. Otherwise, we can't perform at a high level. And we really dive in how to do this, but also be humble and grateful and not feed the ego too much, which I think you guys are going to enjoy.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  We talked about also what holds back young actors and what they should be focusing on early on. Also, how getting outside your comfort zone is like flexing a muscle. The value of experiencing friction in life. And Tae's tips for fixing a mistake that you make on stage. That's right. So for any actors or speakers who are listening right now. This is going to be some great practical advice for you. We cover this and so much more in this episode. I'm super pumped. Uh, make sure to share this out with your friends or watch the full video interview at lewishouse.com/342. Because this is going to be a great one and your friends are going to thank you for sharing that with them and introducing it to them.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  But in this moment, we've got a powerful interview with an incredible human being. So without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only, Tae Diggs.

• 2:53Speaker 00

  Welcome everyone back to School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about our guest. His name is Tae Diggs. What's up, my man?

• 2:58Lewis Howes?

  How you feeling, sir?

• 2:59Speaker 00

  Good to see you, man.

• 3:00Lewis Howes?

  Good to see you as well.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  Appreciate you coming in.

• 3:02Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate you being here.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  Just came out from the gym.

• 3:04Lewis Howes?

  I did. A little sweaty.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  It's all good, man. We're gonna get messy. We were just jamming on how, um, we, we both play basketball. You haven't played in a couple of years.

• 3:12Lewis Howes?

  I haven't.

• 3:13Speaker 00

  But we're gonna go out there and jam sometime soon.

• 3:15Lewis Howes?

  We are. We are. You're gonna be my excuse to get back out there.

• 3:18Speaker 00

  I'll be your big man. You can be my point guard.

• 3:20Lewis Howes?

  All right, or something like that.

• 3:23Speaker 00

  Exactly. And, um, now I'm excited about this. We got connected, well, first off, by my friend Barbara Fiorentino said that she was friends with you a few years ago. And I was like, I'd love to have this guy on someday.

• 3:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, she's great.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  And then I ran into you at Tender Greens and I was like, you know.

• 3:39Lewis Howes?

  I had a hat on.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, you had a hat on. I was like, eh, maybe I'll go say hi to him. But I was like, I'd rather, I like to have an introduction, you know? When I'm trying to do an interview, it's like,

• 3:46Lewis Howes?

  Oh, right.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  Maybe I should just ask Barbara, like, hey, will you make an introduction? As opposed to me coming up to you and be like, hey, will you come on my show? When you don't know who I am.

• 3:54Lewis Howes?

  But you commented on my hat.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  I was just like, hey, man, you got a great hat.

• 3:56Lewis Howes?

  You got a great hat. Yes. And then that was it.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  And then the next day, or two days ago, I see you at Soho House. And I was like, all right, this is a sign.

• 4:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  And you were chilling. You weren't with anyone. So I was like, let me go say, hey, that I know Barbara.

• 4:07Lewis Howes?

  Right. And what'd you call it? I mean, I was waiting for somebody.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  You were waiting for somebody, but you weren't like,

• 4:11Lewis Howes?

  Don't make people think that I'm just by myself.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  Right.

• 4:13Lewis Howes?

  At Soho House in the lobby.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  You were waiting. You were waiting.

• 4:16Lewis Howes?

  I'm a member.

• 4:16Speaker 00

  Exactly, yeah.

• 4:17Lewis Howes?

  Okay. I got things.

• 4:18Speaker 00

  I hear ya.

• 4:20Lewis Howes?

  But you weren't in the conversation, so I didn't have to interrupt anything.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  No, no, I get your style though.

• 4:25Lewis Howes?

  And I was like, alright, let me see, you know.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  It worked out.

• 4:27Lewis Howes?

  Feel it out, and I was like, we should have you come on, and you were like, absolutely, let's do it. So, we made it happen.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  We're here.

• 4:32Lewis Howes?

  We are here, in the studio, the Greatness Studio.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Yes, hashtag greatness. I really dig what you're doing, man.

• 4:40Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  I really do.

• 4:41Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  To be out here in, no offense to LA, but to be out here in LA and dedicating, you know, your time and energy to, to other people and, and kind of bettering, you know, where we are is really great to, to, to, to witness.

• 4:57Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it, man.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Good stuff, man.

• 4:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Now, for those that don't know who you are, you are an actor and you're among many things, and a writer as well. You've got a couple of kids, both that we'll talk about.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:07Lewis Howes?

  Uh, and we'll have everything linked up here on the show notes, so people can check these things out. But you are, you, you started in the, uh, kind of the Broadway theater scene, and then movie and TV, and you've been doing, you've done all types of acting.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've been very fortunate.

• 5:21Lewis Howes?

  Done many movies, many TV shows.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:23Lewis Howes?

  All over the place.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Been lucky.

• 5:25Lewis Howes?

  It's been amazing.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  It has been.

• 5:26Lewis Howes?

  And I have something in common with you, in that, in that sense.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  What?

• 5:29Lewis Howes?

  I did the, my senior year, I did the High School Musical at my school.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  You did?

• 5:33Lewis Howes?

  I was like, you know what, I need, my whole family is very musically gifted.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Really?

• 5:37Lewis Howes?

  My brother's the number one jazz violinist in the world.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  He is?

• 5:40Lewis Howes?

  Yes. My sister's-

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Who's your brother?

• 5:42Lewis Howes?

  His name's Christian Howes, and he played in New York City a lot. He played with Les Paul in Times Square at the Oridium all the time, and yeah, he's, he travels all over the world and-

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Well, you're just getting more and more intriguing every second.

• 5:54Lewis Howes?

  But I didn't have those skills as, as growing up. My, my parents were opera singers at Ohio State, and that's where they met.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 6:01Lewis Howes?

  So they put, I was the youngest of four, and they put all my family into music except for me. So I was a sports guy. They tried to, but I was like kicking and screaming like in the piano lessons. I was like, get me out of this.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Right, so maybe you had the talent, but you didn't.

• 6:13Lewis Howes?

  Now I play guitar, cause I was like, I feel like I had to learn something.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:17Lewis Howes?

  So I can play like campfire songs, you know?

• 6:18Speaker 02

  That'll work, especially with the female.

• 6:20Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:21Lewis Howes?

  But I was like, my senior, I was like, I have to do something in the musical, I have to get out of my comfort zone. And so I auditioned for the lead, and I'd never done any acting. Any like lines terrified but I'm gonna put myself out there and it was called Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

• 6:38Lewis Howes?

  And I got the second, the oldest brother, not the main brother, but the oldest brother.

• 6:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it was cool. I had a few lines and dance and it was an incredible experience. And I was like, I wish I would have done this my freshman year.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  I bet. Well, you would have, but you would have turned out to be a completely different person.

• 6:53Lewis Howes?

  It was, it's incredible being on the theater in a live performance. And you just finished up a show.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Oh, in New York? Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

• 7:03Lewis Howes?

  I saw some previews for that. It looks, looks incredible.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's no, there's nothing like it. That was the hands down, bar none, the, the most challenging project I've ever had to. You know, I've, I've, I've ever been blessed, you know, enough to, to kind of take on. It's a life changer.

• 7:22Lewis Howes?

  And did you, and it's a one man show essentially, right?

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Basically, I mean, there's a, a wonderful band.

• 7:27Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Uh, on stage and then there's the, the, the character that, that plays my love interest. But, but the majority of the piece is me.

• 7:37Lewis Howes?

  Have you ever done a one man show before that?

• 7:39Speaker 02

  No, no, and I had, I had, you know, I balked at the idea. Um, but once again, uh, as you said, I wanted to, to step out of my, my comfort zone and, uh, I'd seen the show many, many times prior. And I was a fan and I thought, you know, whoever, this, this, this is some real stuff. Let me, let me try and see if I can do it. And I, and I got through it, so. Yeah, yeah.

• 8:05Lewis Howes?

  You made it out okay.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, and that's usually not my game. I'm, I'm, I'm pretty laid back. Um, I kind of know, you know, where my comfort zone is and what my strengths are and I'm, I've always been that cat that's just been cool. Just gliding along, you know what I mean? I like to feel comfortable.

• 8:23Lewis Howes?

  You've got the, the roles that you kind of play.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Kind of handsome, black dude, you know, best friend.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  But this was, but then, you know, the older you get, the more ambitious, hopefully you get and I started to, I wanted to really kind of wring life out and. And get, get, get, uh, get the best, be, be the best.

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest lesson you learned in that experience?

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Oh, my goodness, so many, well, to keep stepping outside your comfort zone. Yeah, that, that it's, uh, that life is more than comfort. Yeah.

• 8:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Definitely.

• 8:57Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you grew the most in, what was it, a twelve week run? Is that what it was, or?

• 9:01Speaker 02

  About a couple of months, what is that? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, uh, oh, ridiculously, yeah. I, but I also realized that it's like a muscle, you know, um, you know, when I was in the middle of that run, I felt so powerful. And then I thought, all right, this is gonna change my life forever. I'm never gonna be scared, you know, I'm never going to, uh, to not want to kind of, uh, uh, you know, uh, uh, press the, the, the, the boundaries.

• 9:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  But you have to keep, you have to keep yourself in that state, or, uh, or your body forgets it.

• 9:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? So I gotta, I gotta start looking for something else now because I can feel the fear.

• 9:41Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 9:41Speaker 02

  And the complacency kind of, you know, especially in L.A. You know what I mean?

• 9:45Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  If you're lucky to have a little bit of success and a nice little ride, a nice pad, you know, fun friends, it's easy to just chill and, and be fine with that and just kind of take things that come your way. But I gotta, uh, I gotta keep, keep that machine working and keep looking and keep finding and, and keep thinking of other people, you know, others, uh, you know, besides myself, just to keep striving. You know what I mean?

• 10:11Lewis Howes?

  Right. Who's the most inspiring actor in the world right now for you? Like the per, the, the man or the woman or the child who's like, wow, they are just fearless, they're just so courageous, or they're connected, or whatever it is, who inspires you?

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Uh, well, my son, he's not an actor, but my son is all of those things. He's my biggest inspiration, and then after that would probably be my mother. But then, uh, uh, acting wise, uh, actors that.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  You know, I mean, Denzel, he's just, he'll just always, you know.

• 10:44Lewis Howes?

  He's a mutant.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  What can you say?

• 10:45Lewis Howes?

  He's amazing.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  What can you say? He's all of it.

• 10:47Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like he actually takes risks, though? He kind of has the same role every time, it seems like, right?

• 10:52Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm such a fan that I can see the differences, you know, in each role. And, you know, as an actor, you know, people always say you kind of get cast as yourself.

• 11:06Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  But then the characters are different and, you know, the risks that that character takes, they're different as well. So I can see how somebody would feel that a performance is different, even though it may look kind of similar, you know, because he's a leading man, so obviously he's going to get those roles. But it's just amazing, you know, watching him, you know, push the limits, you know, in his work.

• 11:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  And, you know, there's, I get the game. As an actor, you do a couple of movies that are commercial and then you do a couple that, you know, stretch you out a bit.

• 11:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  And I feel like he's done that. He's done it enough for me, you know what I mean?

• 11:49Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure. No, he's incredible.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, man. What else? Who else is out there? Oh, man, I'm so old, I'm forgetting these.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  But, young man, Jackie Robinson now, I think he's Black Panther.

• 12:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I'm not sure his name, but yeah.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:06Lewis Howes?

  I'd see the face.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the, Hit me! What's the singer? One, two, three, you know, James Brown.

• 12:16Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  He played James Brown. What? Not Bokeem.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Awful. I'm old.

• 12:23Lewis Howes?

  We'll figure it out.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:24Lewis Howes?

  We'll link it up in five days.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Please give him a big up. He's doing really well these days, you know. Yeah, I mean, it's, there's a lot of talent out there.

• 12:33Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  It's very easily, very easy to get inspired.

• 12:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What was the, what was the big dream for you growing up? Was it always to be an actor or did you have some other dream?

• 12:41Speaker 02

  You know what? I got a best friend, my cousin Shane Evans, he's the illustrator of all the books that I, that I do. He grew up with me and just recently he reminded me, because now I'm at the age where, you know, we're all doing pretty well and we're just wondering what we were like when we were younger and if we had the foresight. And he told me when I was in high school. That I would walk around telling everybody I'm gonna be famous, I'm gonna be famous. And I was a little embarrassed because I thought, you know, I thought I had a little bit more, I thought I thought I would have been a little bit more sophisticated in my description. But at that time, I guess that's that's what it was.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  You know, I enjoyed at the time singing and acting and dancing, so maybe I didn't know, you know, which which medium was gonna take me there. But apparently I had I had the the drive. And and and for whatever reason, you know, the gods looked down on me and I'm I'm doing all right.

• 13:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's cool. If you could only, if the god said, okay, you only have one choice, sing, dance, or act for the rest of your career.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 13:53Lewis Howes?

  Well. You couldn't do any of the other two, you could only do one.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Oh, man. What's one? Well, I mean, if God's looking down on me, if he if he would keep my body in shape, it would then be dance.

• 14:01Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:03Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:03Speaker 02

  I get the most joy from that.

• 14:04Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then, you know, acting is the most sensible.

• 14:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  And if it's comedy, it's just it's it's just fun.

• 14:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Interesting. What type of what type of dance do you like to do?

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Man, I mean, I started out kind of modern, contemporary. You know, it's fun to to to move your body parts around with hip hop and whatnot. But, you know, I had a dance company for a while.

• 14:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  I was really kind of into the the modern dance scene for a bit. And I still choreograph. Would love to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:38Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Would love to to choreograph more, you know, move up to Broadway and and other modern dance groups, but it's, yeah, it's it's I've always been a very physical, physical person, and I've always, you know, had a special relationship with music, so. You know, we we would have, you know, Saturday dance parties in my house where the record would skip, because everybody was was jumping, yeah.

• 15:06Lewis Howes?

  Back in New York or?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  This was in upstate New York, Rochester, where I grew up.

• 15:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  My my mother was was was at the helm.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's just, it's always been in me. It's tough getting older, though, because uh.

• 15:20Lewis Howes?

  The knees, the back.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 15:21Lewis Howes?

  I feel it, man. When I'm playing sports, I'm like.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  It's tough.

• 15:23Lewis Howes?

  You gotta warm up a little bit longer. You gotta stretch. You can't just get out there and start dancing or.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:28Lewis Howes?

  Playing ball, you gotta warm up.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  You really do. And warm down.

• 15:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, stretch.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Um, ten years ago, six years, when I was playing ball steady, I just remember sitting on the couch and just, just aching, aching every day. Um, but then going back the next day and playing.

• 15:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Um, so yeah, this, this getting older thing is kind of for the birds.

• 15:48Lewis Howes?

  I hear you.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  But other than that.

• 15:49Lewis Howes?

  I hear you. Well, you look young, so.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm thankful for that. I will.

• 15:54Lewis Howes?

  I will.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  I'll take it.

• 15:56Lewis Howes?

  Who was, uh, it sounds like your mom was a pretty big influence for you growing up. Was she the most influential person growing up for you?

• 16:01Speaker 02

  She was. She was. She, I have four brothers and sisters.

• 16:05Lewis Howes?

  You're the oldest, correct?

• 16:06Speaker 02

  I'm the oldest, yeah. Uh, and she, uh, you know, was in a kind of an abusive relationship and then, you know, uh, raised us, then went back to school. And now is, is teaching theater and, and acting still. Um, you know, almost through getting her doctorate. So she's a, she's a, yeah, she's, she's something else, you know? And at the same time, you know, always told us that we, that we would be successful. Was always unbelievable, you know, just so loving and so supportive. You know, um, while I was in college in acting school, I would, I would hear from other students and hear about their struggles and parents not being supportive or, or having to pay for college themselves

• 16:51Speaker 02

  because the parents, you know, wouldn't do so. And none of that, you know, was there for me that, that my, my parents, uh, my stepfather and my, and my mother were, they, they, they led us to believe that we could, uh, you know, accomplish anything we wanted.

• 17:07Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  You know, like, we didn't come from money, but when it came to college, I just knew that I was gonna go. I didn't know how, but there wasn't, there wasn't that question and, uh. That so many young people today don't, they don't have that available to them, even the option. They don't even realize that, that it's something that, that they can do.

• 17:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  So.

• 17:26Lewis Howes?

  Did you get a scholarship or how did that work out?

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, scholarship and then my mother was really, really slick with it with, you know, financial aid and figuring out where.

• 17:34Lewis Howes?

  Grants and whatever, everything, just like apply for everything. I get that.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Totally for me. So she was really, you know, each, and I was, I was a cat where each semester, you know, I'd get those butterflies where I wouldn't know if all the money, you know, was coming in, you know, sitting in the bursar's office and that smell and the wallpaper. All the other poor kids, you know what I mean?

• 17:56Lewis Howes?

  I hear you.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hated it.

• 17:57Lewis Howes?

  I hear you, man.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  But, you know, I got through all four years and then, yeah, so that, you know, I'm, I'm lucky enough to, to kind of help her out. She's always wanted to live in the city. She's in the city.

• 18:08Lewis Howes?

  In New York.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:09Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  So, uh, there were times, you know, when I get on my high horse and I'm like, my mom's, she's still young. Why do I gotta pay for this and that? But, but then when I think of everything, you know, it's cliche, but everything she's sacrificed.

• 18:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  She is, and she is why I am who I am today. From, from why I perform to just the confidence to, to, you know, I'd like to think I'm a very kind person. You know, she's so unbelievably kind-hearted.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  And funny. She's a, she's a funny, crazy ass lady. Now that I'm an adult, she's crazy.

• 18:46Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 18:46Speaker 02

  And it's, it's really, it's really fun to just be around.

• 18:49Lewis Howes?

  What's your, what's the quality you love about your mom the most?

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Her kindness and her sense of, oh, non-judgmental when it comes to me. I could tell her that I just smoked crack and killed eight people and, and I, you know, I would have no problem.

• 19:04Lewis Howes?

  She'd still love you.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't worry about shaming her.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  You know, which is tough, you know, and I would love to, I want to raise my son like that. Where he could, he can just feel like he could, no matter what, tell me whatever without, without, without me judging him. I would love that. And her sense of humor, you know, she's a. If I can make her laugh, you know, when she makes me laugh, it's it's for real.

• 19:33Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. That's cool.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's all right.

• 19:36Lewis Howes?

  When was the moment that you were like, wow, this was like the big moment, was it a Broadway show? Was it a TV show, movie where you're like, oh, this is like the moment where I've kind of gone from amateur ranks to now like, oh, this is the big leagues?

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:50Lewis Howes?

  What was that opportunity?

• 19:52Speaker 02

  This doing this podcast? Do you know what I mean?

• 19:54Lewis Howes?

  Thing called the School of Greatness?

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, man. I was like, I made it now. But little things like this help, you know what I mean?

• 20:01Lewis Howes?

  But when you were like in your twenties and you know?

• 20:03Speaker 02

  That's How Stella Got Her Groove Back, my first.

• 20:06Lewis Howes?

  That was it?

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, my first movie. It went down the way I had imagined it.

• 20:12Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, and you know, even today, I think, you know, I don't know who the hell I thought I was. I want to go back and talk to that dude because he was just so confident. I was actually impatient. I was in my mid twenties, you know.

• 20:29Lewis Howes?

  You were doing Broadway by?

• 20:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, and I was like, I was like, I need to, I need to have been in a movie yesterday.

• 20:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  I really had that attitude. I remember Rent, I got Caruso, a show in the ensemble. And I was like, okay, this, this makes sense. I was in the ensemble and I had fun. And then I went away to Japan and made a little bit of money. Then I came back and got Rent.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  And I was, I was a role, but it was one of the smaller roles.

• 20:56Lewis Howes?

  It was the lead?

• 20:57Speaker 02

  No, nowhere near the lead.

• 20:59Lewis Howes?

  But original cast, right?

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Original cast. And all that was cool, but deep down inside, I was like, this isn't, this isn't my jam yet.

• 21:05Lewis Howes?

  You're not in the front center.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  You know, this isn't how I imagined it.

• 21:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  And I was one of the last ones to pop from Rent. And there was a little time in there where I.

• 21:15Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean by that? Like others were getting major roles and you were?

• 21:18Speaker 02

  We were the shit. Like it was, it was the major show of its, of its time.

• 21:23Lewis Howes?

  Right. Everyone was going. It was like the Hamilton of the time.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  One hundred percent.

• 21:27Lewis Howes?

  It was like you have to go around.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  Yes. I have friends in Hamilton and, and they have, you know, they were dealing with, you know, how to. What percentage they should get, you know, and, and, you know, it's unprecedented how successful the show was. And that was us back in, nowhere near what Hamilton is, obviously. But that was us back then. Kind of had that vibe, yeah. One hundred percent, you know, it was a, a, a style of, of music theater that, that people weren't really used to and, and, and the, the success was ridiculous. So, yeah, we, we, we were that, we, we were them for, for, for, for our time. And I was the last one to, everybody's getting record deals and, and studio deals, TV shows, films.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  And I wasn't getting, I was getting, I got a couple of screen tests and, I got a soap opera, you know, I was on Guiding Light for a little bit. But then finally, you know, when it was around, you know, I'd been in the show about two years. Then I, I, I got, I got a group back. Wow. Then I was off to the races. Wow. What did that, what opportunities came from you after that? It was just movie after movie and? It was, I, I was, I was awarded, you know, the, the, the card of working actor in film and TV. You know, um, um, I had auditioned, but there were always, there were always offers. You know what I mean? There was always a job there that I didn't necessarily have to, have to read for. You weren't the struggling actor anymore, you were the working actor.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, then it was just a matter of, well, what kind of roles do I want to do now?

• 23:01Speaker 02

  And that's still, you know, that's still the, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm still chasing that. Um, and at what point, you know, do you compromise money? For integrity for life. Yeah, exactly. The arts. Sure, yeah, I want, when I was younger, I wanted to be Will Smith. Right. And have that kind of, of success. I mean, he's crushed. Oh, my goodness, talk about. He is crushed. He, he's, yeah, he's a, he's a miracle. Right, unbelievable. He's a walking miracle.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would love to just say, if I have a podcast, I want him to be my guest. I'm working on trying to get him on there too. Yeah, do it, man. Do it. And let me, let me, let me be present. You come here too, yeah. You could ask some questions. Crazy. I'll sit in the corner eating a graham cracker. Uh, he, uh, but then, you know, once I got older and had a kid, you know, I don't want to be all around the, I'm fine with just a cool television gig, you know, where I'm happy and then, um, you know, other, other elements of the business, you know, with this, reading children's books and, you know, uh, just trying to, trying to help people and, and, you know, put good vibes out there in the world. I'm trying to kind of monetize that as well.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  So, so we'll, uh, we'll see. What's the most challenging part of the business for you? Is it switching from ego? Ego. Tell me more about that. Well, you know, it's, it's, this is an, this is an industry where it's based on, you know, ego and, and. Who's hotter. Who's hot, who's not, you know, the last, you know, the last project, you know, you're in here in LA. It's, it's always what you drive and where you live and who's on your arm and. Where you work out. Where you work out? Sure. All of that. All of that. No, no, seriously. So, you know, on the path that I'm kind, that I've kind of chosen,

• 24:54Speaker 02

  you know, it's, it's, it's been interesting living in, in this, in this atmosphere that is so, uh, you're kind of inundated with, with that vibe, but then trying to see through it and, and honor yourself and, and do what's good for you, what's healthy for you and your family. A son helps. Yeah. Kids help. Keeps you grounded. It keeps you grounded and humble because they don't really care. Who you are. How cute you look. What roles you got or whatever. You know what I mean? You can have really fresh Jordans and a nice ride, but if they have a, If you're not feeding them. If they have a fit in the middle of Whole Foods, they don't really give a fuck. So. Exactly. So that's cool. Um, so they help, but you know, you know, I'll be, I'll be in the movie theater and I'll,

• 25:38Speaker 02

  I'll be looking at the next Anthony Man, Anthony, oh, he's another one too. Really, really good. Anthony Mackie film. Um, and I'll, I'll have that little twinge of, oh, should I be on this poster? And am I, are people thinking I'm not relevant because I'm on a TV show and, um, but then I have to tell myself I'm happy, you know, and would I be? You know, would I be happy being the next, you know, black Spider-Man or whatever? Maybe, but that's months away from the kid and Yeah. My bones, my knees, I don't know if I could be, do all those stunts. Right. Uh, you know, it's a young man's game, so, uh, Wow. Uh, and you know, it's, it's, it's tough to do all that and then, and then try to, to give back. Do you know what I mean? For me. Yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  So, uh, so, you know, that's, that's probably the, the, the struggle. Cause there's still that little, there's still that, that young Tay Diggs, that fighter. You know, the, the flame, you know, in my eye that, that still wants to, you know, I still wanna get an Oscar. I still, you know, love the publicity and whatnot. Um, so I guess that's, that's, that's probably the biggest challenge is keeping myself, keeping myself grounded. Hmm. Realizing what, what is real. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Cause if you let that stuff take you over. The hype. It will take you over. Yeah. And I don't want to. It's unfulfilling probably after. Yeah, man, yeah. At the end of the day, um, you know, my son, he fulfills me. You know what I mean?

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Um, you know, reading, it sounds so corny, but you know, being in, being the lead of a movie is great. But, uh, but you know, when you read, read to, to children and you're affecting lives like that. You know, that doesn't go away. Yeah. You know what I mean? In, you know, kids, like if I had written, you know, where the wild things are. Hmm. Do you know what I mean? The legacy right there. You know what I mean? That doesn't go away. People will forget if I'm Spider-Man. Yeah. You know what I mean? No matter how much the, the opening weekend is, um, people forget real quick, too quick. Do you know what I mean? Especially if you haven't done anything in two, three years. You know what I mean? And it's really not fair. Yeah. It's really not fair, especially, you know, as an African-American actor.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  People are making history and, uh, and, uh, and it's just getting overlooked. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So, uh, uh, I'm I'm I'm cool.

• 27:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  I'm cool.

• 27:56Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest fear for you moving forward in life and your career?

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Oh, it's all just my my son's health, you know, when you when you have a child. It's it's it's the most vulnerable thing. Uh, yeah, uh, it's crazy. So, um, you know, I just try to put that out of my head and just stay positive. Because if I think about what my life would be without him, or if something awful happened to him, I don't even know.

• 28:23Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  So that's that's that's an easy question to answer.

• 28:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Yeah, cuz you really don't have control for something like you're with a child.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  I'm I'm I'm choosing to believe I do.

• 28:34Lewis Howes?

  Sure, right, right, right.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  I'm willing it so, but at the end of the day, you know, yeah, so. Um, I just try to stay positive and and and keep him in my prayers.

• 28:44Lewis Howes?

  I hear you.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:45Lewis Howes?

  Um, in the I mean, you're around a lot of actors all the time.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 28:49Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like self-love is something that actors need more of?

• 28:55Speaker 02

  A hundred. I think the world needs more of it.

• 28:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 28:59Lewis Howes?

  What do you think, uh, how do you practice self-love yourself? And what would you, how would you give back to people listening who are maybe struggling or trying to figure out, you know, their worth in the world, whether it be in a relationship, career, anything? What's some ways you can practice what's not building your ego too much, but it's like

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 29:18Lewis Howes?

  the fulfilling self-love, you know?

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Sure, sure. Hmm, I think it I think it manifests itself differently in different in different people. Um, you know, like for me, um, with talent, you know, I didn't have an issue because people were always there telling me how that I had something. You know, it it had to deal with, uh, for me, uh, um.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  Deserving uh uh the pretty girl or or deserving to be in a conversation. You know um so I think at the end of the day. It's tough, man. It's one of the hardest. I think it could be one of the hardest things. To do, which is just convince yourself that you are worth it. Just you, who you are, not and not comparing yourself or putting yourself in a context. Um because it's so easy to say, oh, uh, am I uh as intelligent as this person? And then looking at what you have, you know, to offer in terms of intelligence.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  Because it's not about that, because that can easily be taken away, or you cannot have it. So you have to find who you are as a person. Um regardless of everything else and everyone else around you and just be cool with that. And let that power you so that no matter. How great, how handsome, how talented, no matter how whatever it is you are. You can you consider yourself more than enough.

• 30:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  And in this world that's based on all of that other shit, it's really tough to do. Because we we're here and first thing we ask ourselves, you know, what what do I have to offer? What makes me different? What makes me special? So that's that's where I think the the the difficulty comes in.

• 31:12Lewis Howes?

  Do you have a practice that you do like every morning to help you get ready for the day? Or a ritual or routine?

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Trying. Yes, I do. It just changes every three days. You know what I mean? Because I'm still I'm still on that tip of what works.

• 31:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  So if I if I like meditate for twenty minutes and then have a great day. For the next week, I'll meditate and then until I have a sucky day and then I'll try some else.

• 31:35Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  But you know, um, you know, I I it's it's tough to not be re- result oriented. You know, growing up an actor and dealing with sports and. Um but for me, it's it's having a practice. Uh and something that kind of forces you to be outside yourself.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  And then realize that there's something more. I think whatever, whatever that is, I feel like you're, you're, you're pretty good if, if you can focus on that.

• 32:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  That being one of the things, you know, um, and then, and then afterwards, then actually focusing on yourself.

• 32:14Speaker 02

  So that you, you can allow yourself to focus more on other people, you know what I mean?

• 32:18Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  It's tough, man.

• 32:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  It's tough, this, this, this, this, this, this cycle of life is the, the most difficult. Just because, um, I'm the most aware. And at the same time, you know, with a being split and a divorce and a single father, you know, I, I have the most, uh. Yeah, I've got a, a, a full plate. So, uh, every once in a while, I'll feel sorry for, for myself just because I, I just feel like I'm working constantly. Trying to be a good person, trying to be a good father, trying to take the high road, you know? Trying to be more mindful, trying to be more forgiving. And sometimes I want to say, fuck it, let me, I mean, sometimes I do, I just came from Vegas.

• 33:04Lewis Howes?

  You said it about a whole weekend.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  And that was pretty unmindful and.

• 33:09Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Uh, but I, I can't wait till I get to the point where, you know, I don't have to binge, you know, where I, you know, where I can just, it can just be life. Uh, and that can just be where I chill out as opposed to kind of winding it up, winding it up. And then feeling like I have to unwind, you know, to the point where it's, you know, alcohol and girls and dancing and clubs and. You know, I still got a little bit of that in me.

• 33:37Lewis Howes?

  So you got the young Ted Diggs in you.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  You know, cause I never, it's, it's so many, so many things, I never got to do that as a, as a young man, you know? Grew up really, really religious and then came into success quick and then got married quick.

• 33:49Lewis Howes?

  Working all the time, just focused.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Uh, and then was really judgmental with, you know, oh, these people, you're a bad person if you do this. And, and slowly I started to open up my eyes and started to experiment with stuff and, you know, clubs are fun, it can be fun, you know what I mean? Um, girls can be fun. So you know, I'm coming off that train now, but every once in a while, it's still fun to just go a little crazy.

• 34:13Lewis Howes?

  Sure. What are non-negotiables for you? Like every day that you're like, I have to do this every day, no matter what. Or I'm gonna, maybe it's not meditate, but I'm gonna eat a certain way. I'm going to think a certain thing.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  It's one of those things. It's either working out. Well, you know what? To be honest, it's, it's, I force myself to think of others and kind of walk, walk a path of, of trying to, to, um, to love. Do you know what I mean? As corny as that sounds, trying empathy. Do you know what I mean? Empathy is, is, is what it is. Um, I, every day I'm, I'm, I'm forcing myself to try to see if, if, if, if somebody rubs me the wrong way, if, if somebody does something, whether it be to me or to someone else, or if someone comes to me and asks some advice, you know, I force myself to try,

• 35:11Speaker 02

  you know, to, to say something that, that will kind of, uh, throw a positive spin on, on something.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  And, and not go the negative route.

• 35:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  You know, I, I, I, I feel good about that.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  I feel good about myself. Yeah. When it, when it comes to that, that's something that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm pretty diligent in, I think, doing.

• 35:36Lewis Howes?

  There's a lot of, uh, young actors and people, writers, um, people in the entertainment world that I know listening to this. If you could say that there's like, the mistakes that a lot of actors make and the things that they do well, what would be like the top two or three things that you think, if you're a young actor, writer, trying to make it in this world, what should they really be focusing on? What, and what is holding them back that you see?

• 36:01Speaker 02

  You know what? I was thinking of writing a book.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  That, you know, was kind of, um, grounded in humor that, that has to do with, with, well, it's gonna be like the, you know, the actor's handbook to becoming famous. Uh, because it's a cliche, you know, it's like there's a young person's got all this talent. You know, maybe they start out doing plays, then they do a play, they win an award, then they get the card to come to Hollywood. You know, then they do the whole Hollywood thing and it really, you know, choose them up. They date a celebrity lady, get married, the drugs, the strip clubs, this, that, and then they fall out, fall, go to rehab. And then pick this role and then get nominated for an Oscar. So, um, so part of me thinks that it's pretty, you know,

• 36:50Speaker 02

  you just need to stay grounded and to keep focused and to kind of not fall prey. Have someone have your back, you know what I mean? But then, you know, uh, but then you don't get, uh, you know, sometimes I think you need to get roughed up. You need, you need experiences so that, uh, so that things mean something. You know, like all the shit that I've been through, I've been through it, so now I know.

• 37:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Um, for a minute, I was living in great life. I thought I was, you know, a good person and kind and, but I didn't know shit. You know what I mean? I didn't know what people meant. I didn't know what it was like to, to struggle to a certain extent. And until I did, you know, um, the world didn't open up, you know? Uh, you need experiences, um, no matter what. I'm not telling everybody to, to get addicted to drugs and

• 37:42Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  Spend a hundred thousand dollars, you know, at a strip club. But, you know, you know, everybody has their own kind of path. So I, you know, I, I, I don't want people to, to end up killing themselves, but I, I think it's good that people, you know, uh, experience some friction.

• 37:58Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. What does that mean? That they should just be constantly going out, putting themselves out to bigger roles, bigger opportunities and failing essentially or getting said no to?

• 38:07Speaker 02

  I think people should follow their instincts, you know? I, I, I, I truly do. Um, I mean, I could sit here and say, you know, be focused and stay out of trouble and, you know, I, I think at a young age, if people can realize that there's something outside of themselves, that there's a, a, a greater energy.

• 38:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  You know, I don't think you can go wrong there. But, uh, you know, people living their lives and having their own experiences, um, I think it, it, it, it's, you know, it, it bodes well for them.

• 38:41Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  You know, being selfish, you know, all of that. You know, think thinking of others. You know what I mean? Do you, do you, but think, but think of others and, and, uh, and just go for it. Go hard.

• 38:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Uh, Tiff wanted me to ask you a question and she said, what was it like to work with, uh?

• 38:59Speaker 02

  I'm not answering Tiffany. Tiffany, she don't know me.

• 39:04Lewis Howes?

  Uh, in private practice, you worked with, uh, Shonda Rhimes, right?

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:07Lewis Howes?

  And she's a big fan of her. She's reading her book right now.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  So are you? Me too.

• 39:10Lewis Howes?

  She wanted to know.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Something about yes, or something, uh, what is it? The year of yes.

• 39:14Lewis Howes?

  So she wanted to know what was it like working with her? She's, it's a big inspiration for her in the, in the entertainment world.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Oh, man. Well, that was when, um, yeah, that was a, I was, uh, I had my, my kid when I was on her show. That was, uh, that was, that was a time in my life, you know? Time and time again, I feel like I've been, uh, blessed. And then, you know, the thing about this, being human, being an actor, being in L.A., um, really, really amazing things can happen to you. And then you can forget and then have fear and doubt.

• 39:47Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  And I swear to God, actors have the, you know, we, we, we have the shortest just memories. You know, things can be so, so bad, you know? And then we can say, all right, all I need is this job. And, you know, once I get this gig and once I get this car, I'll be fine. Then we get the gig in the car and we're just complaining about what it's like to be in that car and that gig.

• 40:08Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 40:09Speaker 02

  We forget, oh, man. I mean, actors are awful. We're awful people.

• 40:13Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  We're so, you know, we want shit for free and

• 40:17Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  if the car's not here at the minute and the cable's not, I mean, you know, if I'm not on this magazine color and, oh, dude. And, and we, we come from nothing, you know? So

• 40:28Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  it's not, you would think we would be the most appreciative group on the planet. And instead it's the opposite.

• 40:35Lewis Howes?

  You're getting the most attention.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Oh, totally.

• 40:38Lewis Howes?

  You're getting the most recognition.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Uh, you know what I mean? On the red carpet, just frowning because somebody else, you know, went before you.

• 40:44Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 40:45Speaker 02

  When you just got dropped off in your limo or the car doesn't come on time.

• 40:48Lewis Howes?

  You're wearing a $10,000 outfit.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Totally. I'm sitting next to, I'm sitting here next to Sandra Bullock. I was supposed to be before her.

• 40:55Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my God.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  Like, come on, man. Wait for, but you get caught up in it.

• 40:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Uh, see, I, I got caught up in that. What was the question? Oh.

• 41:02Lewis Howes?

  Shonda Rhimes.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Shonda Rhimes. So, uh, uh, uh, I was on a gig where I was like, uh, all right, this next thing I wanna, I wanna shoot a gun. So I was on a show where I was shooting a gun and. And then, you know, doing stunts and being the tough guy. So that ended. And then I thought to myself, ah, you know what? I would love to be on a show like Grey's Anatomy. You know, Shonda Rhimes, I could just, you know, really act and have those amazing monologues and wear a suit. And the next thing I know, she called me in and she's like, I'm this new. There was this new show I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm creating with, with Kate Walsh and it's a spinoff. And I was like, that's, this is a dream come true. Wow.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  You know, you really can manifest some, some, some stuff. And she was just, she was just wonderful. Wow. I don't know how, I can only assume that everybody else had the experience that I had. But I don't know if it was because I was black or, you know, a young man. But I really felt like she was looking out for me. You know, we'd have, you know, meetings about the character. And I could tell that she was very protective of the character I played. And, and, you know, unfortunately, in this time, in this era, when it comes to African

• 42:24Speaker 02

  American roles, you have to set a precedent, just so, you don't have to. But if you want to make a difference, you need to, to set down some, some ground rules so that people don't get it twisted. So with that character, you could look at my character as, you know, a professional black man and, you know, know, okay, not all black people take drugs. Not all black people just, not all black people are irresponsible. Gangs or whatever. She didn't make him, like, he was just a good dude through and through. So that, that character was there and you couldn't do anything about it. And that was proof that black people like this exist.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  And I'm, I'm thankful for that. She's a, she's a monster, man. She's just killing it. Right. And it's just so exciting. It's, it just tickles me, so. Big lesson you learned from her, working with her? What was, what was that? To go for it, you know? Somebody, I don't know, she's, she's just did it, you know? She had the audacity. You know, to think that she could do shit and she's doing it. Producing like five or 10 shows. Why not? Shows on TV, whatever, right? If you would have told me that somebody was gonna do that, I would have laughed in your face. And said, why don't you just chill with one? Right. Like, be cool. You know what I mean? Yeah. What makes you think that they're gonna open the door for you?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  And she was like, fuck it, I'm, I'm, I'm kicking this door down and I'm going to be really good at it. Wow. Um, you know, so. Amazing. Yeah, it really is. That's really cool. I mean, this is, I didn't think, I knew stuff like this was gonna go down, but I didn't think it would happen this fast with, you know, a black president and then people like, like Shonda Rhimes just, and, and people have just gone so far beyond, you know, my expectations. You know, my mother used to say, make sure you can do everything better than they can, whoever it is. And, and, and all of these people, I think, you know, came from that school where it's like,

• 44:35Speaker 02

  you be so great that they cannot deny you. Yeah. You know, if they wanna make money, they have, they have to use you. That's Will Smith. He was like, you know, people were telling him, you know, black people don't have any weight overseas. And then he just started doing number one July 4th. He was like, fuck you. How about this? Now you can't deny me. Yeah. Now you can't deny me. Amazing. I'm so good and I'm gonna be so good at what I do, that it doesn't matter what you think about my skin tone or who came before me. These are number one summer hits. Yeah, selling the most everywhere, worldwide. No, no excuses, no basketball, sports, or, you know, he's a musician, he's a, none of that.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  None of that. It was just like bona fide movie fucking star. And it's awesome. That's cool. You know? Have you guys spent time with him before? No? Man, I went to a couple of premieres and, you know, he's like a, he's like a god. You just, he looks at you and you feel blessed. Um, so. He's that much of a legend. You know what I mean? He is legend. Exactly. I am legend. And now as little kids, you know, I would like. They're crushing me. Whatever they're selling, I'll buy. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm taking style points off Jaden. Right? It's embarrassing, but they, you know, it's, it's really great to see. It's a really cool time.

• 45:57Lewis Howes?

  When you prepare for a big moment, whether it be on stage, TV, film, and you're like, okay, this is the scene, this is like the moment or one of the moments of this film that I'm doing or or experience. How do you prepare mentally and emotionally? For that, obviously, you've got to do the reps with the the memorization, I'm assuming.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:16Lewis Howes?

  Which you've been doing for twenty, thirty years now, since high school.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:19Lewis Howes?

  But how do you prepare mentally, emotionally, be like, all right, this could be a make or break moment in this? I gotta make sure I show up.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Okay, well, the first thing is, is I don't think that.

• 46:28Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  I don't think it's gonna be a make or break moment. I take all the pressure.

• 46:31Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's good.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Uh huh, for me, for me, some people, it fuels them. For me, it taps into my anxiety and so for me, I just got to tell myself, you know, this is, this is what you do. You got this. Um, and this is one thing that the uh, the last play I did uh, on stage uh, in New York helped me with was uh, you know, I prepare as much as I can. And then I leave space for something that is unplanned. Um, just because uh, that's when some really, really great shit can happen.

• 47:04Lewis Howes?

  Magic.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. I I used to be the cat that would over prepare. You know, and plan out the joke and, you know, with the physical comedy and make sure I say this in this tone because it's been proven if I say it eight times, you know, seven times, people will let, I used to plan it all out and see it in my head because I I had that talent of just knowing, you know, what would work or the the comic timing. Um, what plays to what type of audience and that's a talent unto itself, but it can get stale. Um, and it it's uh, it limits you as an actor. You know, I feel like the the the real, the really great ones, you know, leave, leave just a little space there.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Uh, some give, you know, uh, they're a little bit more pliable. Uh, and that's when you can, you can let uh, you know, the spirit of a moment take you. And that's when, you know, it's some, something really exciting can happen. So these days, I I try to, I try to leave, leave some room for that and it's tough. It's tough because uh, you know, acting is a technique and you know, there's stuff that actually works. Um, especially in TV and film where you're, you know, you're the the the redundancy, is that a word?

• 48:19Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  With the, you know, yeah, I'll make it a word, you know, you're just doing, saying the same words over and over again. It can be tough, but uh, you know, it's something to, to, to constantly work on.

• 48:29Lewis Howes?

  Do you usually prepare like the night before and visualize the scenes you're gonna create the next day? Do you prepare the day of?

• 48:37Speaker 02

  It depends, cuz I got a kid, I'm dropping his ass off at school and.

• 48:41Lewis Howes?

  So you do it whenever you can.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Exactly. A lot of times I'll memorize in the makeup trailer.

• 48:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:48Lewis Howes?

  Right before, like an hour before?

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Right before, yeah. Oh, not an hour. No, no, no. Like minutes.

• 48:52Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, but, but that's just because, you know, for me.

• 48:56Lewis Howes?

  You've been doing it for so long, you know.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, there's a, uh, you know, it's episodic television and we, we know the rules.

• 49:04Lewis Howes?

  You must know what they're gonna say next anyways.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Pretty much.

• 49:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Pretty much. And then, uh, uh, so, you know, as I said, luckily I'll have enough time to, to get the lines on my belt. And then there'll be just some kind of fun energy on, on set with, with me and my co-star or, or with some of these really great guest stars, guest stars we have. Yeah, so, so it's luckily, you know, I, I don't have to, to put too much attention into, into memorization.

• 49:31Lewis Howes?

  You practiced the reps enough.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it truly is like a muscle and I, I feel grateful.

• 49:36Lewis Howes?

  Have you ever had a moment in a movie or a show or on, on stage where you just literally blanked? Or you couldn't get the, the line down and you had to do it over and over?

• 49:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 49:45Lewis Howes?

  For like an hour and you were just like, what is that, what's that like?

• 49:48Speaker 02

  It helps, and it helps when you, cuz it hasn't happened in a minute, but those were the times when I was overly concerned with getting it right. I have to memorize it all.

• 49:59Lewis Howes?

  Looking perfect.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  If I don't, I'll look awful and then I'll feel awful. All that anxiety is, I think, what, what caused me to, to have those moments where I would blank. And then, you know, it's, it's like going down the rabbit hole. There's the fear of, oh, it literally is like this.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Because you can think of, you know, a million things while you're on stage. So I'll be, you know, giving a monologue or in the middle of a scene and then I'll have the, the seedling of a thought. Oh my goodness, I, how crazy would it be if I forgot this next part? Wait, you have this next part memorized, right? Wait, do you have it? Is it the next part? What's this next part? Oh, what's it?

• 50:40Speaker 02

  And then you're offline. And if you can't. And now see, when you really know what you're doing, um, and you're kind of in, in the moment, something really great can happen and you can improvise and get a great laugh or, or, or, or, you know, notice something on stage that prompts you to, to get back on track. But if you're inside your own head freaking out, there's no room for anything special to happen except fear. And it's fucked up. It's just awful. Um, um, so what? The couple of times I, I had repeated myself and got back on track. Um, other times I just walked off stage. Really? I forgot the line and would just.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  On a live play. And then you know, you were the professionals, so they keep going. They make it up. Or just say something that, yeah, say something that didn't make any sense. But the audience maybe doesn't know all the time. Yeah, yeah. And then there were times where I was just laughing at myself where I forgot the words of a song. And I was like.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  No way. Yeah. And then we're all just laughing on stage. The less you care, I think the better, the better off. Oh, my goodness. You know, um, cause then the audience can laugh at you instead of feel sorry for you. Cause that's what you don't want. Yeah, that's the worst. You don't want everybody going. And I, and I've, I've been in both places in the audience. You've watched it. Oh, yes. And you just, it hurts you. Yeah. It's not comfortable. Yeah, no. But if you get somebody that forgets it and they say, you know, goes up, they're like, I just forgot what I was, was about. Then everybody, everybody can laugh with you. Uh, what's, what's the next line? I'm sorry, you know, something like that. Um, and then it just, uh, you know, you, uh, what does it do? It makes you realize that we're all human and that it's, it's not about performance.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  It's about living and energy and, you know, that's, that it's, it's, it's more about that. Yeah. I think, you know what I mean? What's the quickest way for you to get in the zone in the ultimate flow? Being present. You know, uh, thinking outside yourself. You know what I mean? Listening. You know, all these, all these, all these are really, really good tricks for, for acting. Um, um, just getting outside of yourself. I was very much the opposite of like control of myself. Literally, my technique was if I can control, if I can be in complete control of who I am, then nothing can with me. You know what I mean? Um, um, but it was the opposite.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  If you kind of allow yourself to lose control and just be informed by what's, what's being thrown at you, that's when, that's when the real shit happens for me.

• 53:19Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:21Lewis Howes?

  What's something you've done that you're really proud of that maybe not a lot of people know about?

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Man, I'm really proud of my son. You know, just, um, he, he's between me and, and his mom. Um, and you know, obviously people know that I have a child, but they don't know what I feel. And, and you know, you know, how I grew up and what I had to deal with and, you know, kind of working against that and u- using, you know, the strength that I've gained from, from, you know, kind of the, the, the uphill battle that I've, that I've had to deal with. Seeing him, you know, seeing all of, you know, my struggles kind of manifest in him.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  Uh, you know, my, you know, kind of making the right choices with him and allowing him to be who he is. That just really, it's a mirror, it's miraculous.

• 54:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  The way, you know, life, life is and how he, he's his own person. But then I can see, you know, his mother's influence and my influence, I'm his Nana. You know, um, it's, it's just amazing.

• 54:37Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:38Lewis Howes?

  What are the top two lessons that you really want him to learn and know as a, a young boy growing into a man? If you could only, you know, let's say you can only teach him two main lessons of like everything that you've known and that you wish he could become, what would that be?

• 54:54Speaker 02

  Believe in himself and believe in others. Those two, you know what I mean, kind of equally, yeah, just both.

• 55:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Kind of in that yin and the yang.

• 55:04Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:06Lewis Howes?

  What was it like, um, kind of growing up in the ranks, early career for you with another actress, actor, uh, and being in an intimate relationship and then getting married and you guys both have your own careers, both doing successfully in your own ways. How does that work and how do you make it work? You know, obviously you guys were together for a long time, but how were you able to make it work and grow? So there was a lot of love, but not competition and too much ego because you're both doing big things.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  You know what, now that we're split, I, I don't know, I, I thought that we did a good job of it. But now I'm wondering if, if maybe we weren't as honest with each other as we could have slash slash should have been. And that kind of lent itself to our, our splitting up, you know? Um, Adina did a great job of, of never making me feel like she was competing. Um, she never made me feel like she was jealous. Um, because for a good portion of the relationship, I was a little bit more.

• 56:14Lewis Howes?

  Limelight.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  No, exactly.

• 56:16Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  She's always been, I think, more talented, you know, the gift that she has.

• 56:21Lewis Howes?

  She's done more Broadway, you've done more.

• 56:23Speaker 02

  She's, well, I mean, not necessarily.

• 56:26Lewis Howes?

  She was on Glee for a while too, right?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  She was on Glee, yeah.

• 56:29Lewis Howes?

  She was a great role there.

• 56:29Speaker 02

  She, I've kind of been.

• 56:31Lewis Howes?

  Fan, so that's why.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Oh, for real?

• 56:32Lewis Howes?

  Oh, huge.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, she's.

• 56:34Lewis Howes?

  It was like my show there.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hear you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, she was, like, I was always, I could do a, a, a bunch of things fairly well. And she was like the, like, nobody, there's nobody on this earth that sings like her.

• 56:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 02

  I can't say that about myself. I mean, is there someone who can dance better? There's somebody who can act, there's a better looking dude, there's a.

• 56:57Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Someone, you know, can sing better. But for her, she has something that is just God given that you can't deny.

• 57:06Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? So it took her a minute, you know, it took her a minute or it took the world a minute to kind of figure that out. But I I I don't think it's a mistake that she really came into her own after we split. You know, I I I don't think that that.

• 57:22Lewis Howes?

  It was after you split when she kind of.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, she's she's tearing shit up right now, tearing it up.

• 57:29Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like she maybe held herself back because she wanted you to shine or?

• 57:34Speaker 02

  Possibly, I don't know, because uh. Yeah, she was, she's, I don't remember there ever being a a sense of competition. You know, whenever I was on a movie set, she was always there visiting.

• 57:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's nice.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Um, you know, I know that I was giving as much as I could to to her and and and always trying to to uh uh. Uh, you know, tell her that she, you know, she was definitely gonna make it and to to never lose hope. Um, cause she, you know, she's very, very talented, so she would go back and forth. You know, she'd do something on stage and then um and then she'd go and she'd do something, you know, like Glee or a movie or. Some kind of a television program and and then go back to stage and.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  But she's she's wanted it, you know, she's wanted it and now now she has it, so I'm um. I'm very, very, very happy for her.

• 58:28Lewis Howes?

  That's great. What advice would you give to maybe two young professionals who are both very driven? Who both wanna be successful and wanna be kind of in the limelight of their career, not necessarily acting, but they wanna be at the top of their. Business game or whatever industry they're in. What advice would you give to them, you know, being together to make sure that they're both? I don't know, feeling loved and accepted.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Oh, you mean people that are in a relationship?

• 58:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, intimate relationship, they're, whether they're married or not, or they're just together, what advice would you give to two young, driven, successful? Individuals who wanna grow together?

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Ask themselves if they really wanna be together and if they do, that has to be first. Whatever that means, you know, like there's some people, you have to be. You have to decide to be together, to want to be together first. And then from there, you set up, you know, the ground rules, which is only be away for two weeks or. Uh, you, whatever that is for you.

• 59:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  But um, it only works if you have the other person in mind. And if you have the other person in mind because you want, uh, it's a choice. If you feel like, oh, I have to do this because I have to. I mean, there are those times.

• 59:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 59:42Speaker 02

  But that that's not early in the relationship, you know. Early in the relationship, you you should you should want to, I think, be in the relationship.

• 59:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  Um, but that's just me. You know, I mean, like, I didn't want to take a job that was so far away.

• 59:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  Or sometimes, maybe I did, you know, and maybe those are the moments where, you know, uh, where this is the little cracks start.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  But it's got to start with the two people deciding we want to be together. This is going to be tough and we're going to get through it. Because that's the thing.

• 1:00:15Lewis Howes?

  No matter what, we're going to.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  You know, I mean, yes, that's the thing, because shit's going to go down. Shit's going to happen, job's going to come. Other people are going to, you know, come try to come in between you, their egos. But if you decide, okay, um, let's let's really, let's decide that we're going to come out on the other end, then you're cool. But it's tough because you're young. You're young and you don't, you think you know one thing when you're at a certain age and then you, you think you change, it's it's it's it's it's a trip.

• 1:00:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  It's difficult.

• 1:00:46Lewis Howes?

  Final few questions for you.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:00:47Lewis Howes?

  Wrap all day with you.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, it's good stuff.

• 1:00:50Lewis Howes?

  Want to respect your time. What are you most grateful for in your life recently?

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Of course, my son, um, my relationship with, uh, this is like what I do. I'm I'm grateful. That's the one thing that you're going back to that question every day. I'm grateful to to to be alive and to have a working relationship with, you know, my mother, my my my son's mother.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Because that could be so.

• 1:01:17Lewis Howes?

  It could be messy.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  Ah, and I'm so sensitive. It could really, and I'm already, even with the stuff is great. I feel sorry for myself, even when we're getting along and she'll come and get walk. I'm I miss my son. But, uh, it could be really tough. Uh, uh, and I see people around me that are struggling. You know, with with how much time they get to spend with their kid. And so I'm very thankful for that. I'm thankful she, you know, that Adina's doing well. Yeah. That that type of stuff.

• 1:01:48Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  You know, being grateful.

• 1:01:50Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. This is called the three truths question. This is what I ask everyone at the very end.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:01:56Lewis Howes?

  And and Tay has not been debriefed on this, so this will be off the cuff.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  I'll start off by saying, people say I'm a little above average.

• 1:02:02Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 1:02:06Lewis Howes?

  So this is called the three truths. And let's say it's many years from now.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:02:10Lewis Howes?

  And everything you've ever created has been erased from time. All the books you've written, the movies, videos are all gone. So no one has any record of your information that you've given back to the world or your creations. And you know.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  This is good.

• 1:02:24Lewis Howes?

  And you know it's your last day and everyone there you care about is there. And it's peaceful, it's a celebration, but it's your last day. Many, many years from now.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Lewis Howes?

  And your great, great whoever grandson, grandchild, doing God, or gets you a piece of paper and a pen and says, can you write down your three truths, the three things that you know to be true from everything you've learned in your life? That you'd want the rest of us to know, three truths about life. What would those three things be?

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Ooh. Um, oh man, okay. Uh, let me simplify.

• 1:02:58Lewis Howes?

  Off the cuff.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  Yes, well, love. Love, that's a truth right there. Forgiveness, that is something that is real.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  Uh, la- laughter, those, those, those, those are the three for me.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. See, like right now. My head is, I'm struggling with myself because I want to be even more specific in. But then there's the other side that says, just relax. And just those are the three things that came to me. Um, don't worry about how smart I seem. Right. Or people, exactly. Just keep it with that.

• 1:03:36Lewis Howes?

  Forgiveness.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Uh huh. And, and laughter.

• 1:03:39Lewis Howes?

  Love, forgiveness, laughter.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Lewis Howes?

  It's pretty, that's a pretty great life right there.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:03:42Lewis Howes?

  That's a great life, man. I like those truths.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  I'll take it. I'll take it.

• 1:03:46Lewis Howes?

  Uh, we've got one final question.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:03:48Lewis Howes?

  Before I, I ask that, I want to make sure we, uh, let people know about your book. You've got a couple of books.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:54Lewis Howes?

  Right? You've got two books, one's called Chocolate Me.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Chocolate Me, right?

• 1:03:57Lewis Howes?

  And that one's called Mixed Me.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Mixed Me, yeah.

• 1:03:59Lewis Howes?

  And why did you write these books and who are they for?

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Uh, they're for everyone, uh, specifically if I need to be specific. You know, young people that are kind of struggling with, uh, their own identity and, uh, self-worth and self-esteem. Uh, growing up, for a portion of my life, I was the only little chocolate dude in this neighborhood.

• 1:04:20Lewis Howes?

  In New York, right?

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  In, in upstate New York.

• 1:04:22Lewis Howes?

  Upstate, so it wasn't like you were in the Queens or something?

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  No, no, this was upstate New York, you know, uh, uh, uh, very white. There was one other little dude named Reggie, um, and we were the only two like dark spots in, in the hood, in this, in this white neighborhood. And I was made to feel less than and different. So I wrote a book, uh, based on my experience, um, um, of this, you know, this little boy that gets made fun of. And then he grows to realize that, you know, he is special, uh, even though he's different. And that, you know, uh, uh, chocolate, you know, obviously is the symbolism for being black and that it's sweet and delicious and tasty and it's positive instead of negative.

• 1:05:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  Uh, and then, uh, uh, Mixed Me is kind of based on my, on my son and all of, uh, you know, my biracial and, you know, mixed, mixed, uh, heritage, uh, friends. Them dealing with, you know, having to choose and kind of not knowing which side of the line to stand on and, you know, who they identify with, uh, and, and the, the, the, the ending message of that is you are who you are. Just, uh, love yourself and, and demand that other people love you as well.

• 1:05:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  For, to not have to choose.

• 1:05:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  To just be who you are.

• 1:05:43Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:05:45Lewis Howes?

  And the website for that is iammixedme.com.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Thank you, sir.

• 1:05:49Lewis Howes?

  For that, for that book and you've got gear, you've got some of the, the hat right there.

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:53Lewis Howes?

  Uh, we'll have all this linked up on the show notes, but make sure to go to iammixedme.com to learn more about that. Where can people connect with you most? I know you're on Instagram, you're on Twitter, Facebook, where do you hang out?

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm so awful at all that stuff. But those, those, whatever those things are, yeah. I'm always, uh, uh, trying to get, you know, new content on, I need to be reminded. But, uh, you know, I'm, I'm getting better.

• 1:06:20Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. We'll have it all linked up, but.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  Thanks, man.

• 1:06:23Lewis Howes?

  Check out those three, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Okay, final two questions.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:06:30Lewis Howes?

  Uh, one of them is if you had a word that you had to put on your forehead in reverse, so that when you walked in the mirror and you, only you could read the word. The word or a phrase?

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:06:42Lewis Howes?

  That was just, you had to, you had to Mike Tyson yourself.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:06:45Lewis Howes?

  Put a tattoo on your face. And it was a word or a phrase that you had to look at. Every time you looked in the mirror, you saw this phrase. What would that be?

• 1:06:53Speaker 02

  Grateful. Grateful, yeah, just to remind myself. Cause it kinda works, no matter what's going on. It can, if you really buy into it. It can switch everything up.

• 1:07:05Lewis Howes?

  Hard to be angry and grateful at the same time.

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:07:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you're really, if you really buy, and that's the hard thing, is really buying into it, like really. Um, but if you can take your, your time to really kinda dig yourself out of that hole. And think of all the stuff you do have, it can, it can switch it up.

• 1:07:23Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:24Lewis Howes?

  Well, before I ask the final, final question, I'm gonna acknowledge you for a moment, Tay.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Sir.

• 1:07:28Lewis Howes?

  For your incredible inspiration.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Oh, thanks, man.

• 1:07:31Lewis Howes?

  For you constantly jumping out of your comfort zone with all the different roles you've played that have inspired people all over the world. I mean, you create, uh, you represent a symbol every time you step into a role. And you allow people to see what's possible for themselves.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  Thank you, man.

• 1:07:47Lewis Howes?

  And your, your ability, yeah, and your ability to constantly show up. And have like a great heart. I mean, I've only known you for literally an hour and the two times I met you briefly, but your energy, your spirit, your heart. You know, you know, you're so wise and that you're also wise that you know you don't know at all.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Lewis Howes?

  And so your humility and your, I just appreciate all of it. So I wanna acknowledge you.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  Well, thank you, sir. I appreciate that.

• 1:08:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, of course, man.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  I really do.

• 1:08:10Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  Thank you. I'll take that. I'll accept that.

• 1:08:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. And the final question is, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  Greatness. Uh, my definition of greatness is, uh, being who you are. Genuinely. Whatever that is. I think that's great. Whatever that is. Whatever that means.

• 1:08:32Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Tay Diggs, the man. Thanks for coming on, buddy.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  My man. Absolute.

• 1:08:37Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:08:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, there you have it guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, check out the full show notes and get connected with my man Tay Diggs at LewisHowes.com/342. That's right, subscribe to all of his information, all of his social media, get following him, say hi to him, let him know what you thought of this interview, tweet him, and let me know what you thought as well over on Twitter, or Facebook, or Instagram, or on the blog at LewisHowes.com/342. This guy is a gem of a human being. He's doing incredible work in the world. He's inspiring, motivating, and I hope you guys really support him moving forward. Again, if you found this inspiring in any way, please share this with your friends

• 1:09:22Speaker 00

  over on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and let people know about the School of Greatness Podcast. We're getting over 1.3 million downloads a month, and it's all because of you. You continue to listen, you continue to share, and you continue to spread the message of greatness. And for that, I am forever grateful and so appreciative of your kind support. And it's that time of the show where you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.