235 When Things Fall Apart

"If we don’t breakdown, we don’t breakthrough." - Lewis Howes If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/235 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Lewis Howes?

  This is Five Minute Friday, episode number 235. And what are you gonna do when things fall apart?

• 0:13Lewis Howes?

  Pema Chodron said, "To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no man's land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again." When things fall apart, we sit still. When things fall apart, we run fast. When things fall apart, we hang on. Marilyn Monroe said, "Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together." Falling apart is to be expected in the process of life, growth, aging, and death.

• 0:56Lewis Howes?

  What if we stop looking at breakdowns as falling apart, but rather the place between what was and what will be? The time just before things come together in a different way. You know, when the caterpillar enters the chrysalis and its metaphorsis begins, we can only imagine that the process of this transformation will be completely uncomfortable. You know, the cells of the caterpillar literally become what are called "imaginal cells," as the tiny creature grows into something completely different and utterly magical. Unless the caterpillar undergoes this radical transformation, it will never fly as a beautiful butterfly.

• 1:38Lewis Howes?

  If we don't break down, we don't break through. There isn't a single successful person out here in the world who hasn't learned to weather breakdowns and failures. Pema Chodron said, "Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing." We think that the point is to pass the test, to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen. Room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. Mistakes can be painful.

• 2:23Lewis Howes?

  Sometimes they are life-threatening, or send us to prison, or cause the loss of those we love. Squirming through the discomfort of perceived failure can be downright humiliating. But when did we decide that worrying and panicking would make any difference? When you come up against a situation like this, remember that on the other end is a golden nugget of hard-earned truth molded from experience. And stretching yourself in that way will lead to expansion. You get to become comfortable being uncomfortable. We say this a lot. Amazing things rarely happen in your comfort zone on the couch eating Doritos.

• 3:08Lewis Howes?

  In your comfort zone is where you only dream of amazing things happening. I'll never forget the time I was at one of my early team handball practices with the USA national team. Things weren't going the way I wanted, I was pissed off, my legs were burning, and I was far from feeling comfortable. I was in a bad mood and complaining to myself when something literally life-changing happened to me. As I turned around and took a look at the other end of the court where we were sharing with another team's practice, I saw that this wasn't just any team practicing on the other end of the court. It was a team of basketball players in wheelchairs. They were going at it hard, leaving everything on the court.

• 3:49Lewis Howes?

  And here I was complaining to myself about my legs burning, when I realized in this moment that I was beyond blessed to have the feeling of my legs burning at all. What would any one of those players give to feel what I was feeling? Those players could have given up when they lost the use of their legs, or never started playing at all. But they dreamed of playing, and so they did whatever it took to get on the court. Words can't express how much they inspired me to see my life differently that day. Oftentimes when things fall apart, if we just open our eyes, we will see something immensely beautiful. We will emerge from the cocoon, spread our wings, and fly.

• 4:35Lewis Howes?

  This is Five Minute Friday, episode number 235, all about when things fall apart. Thank you guys so much for tuning in today. I love doing Five Minute Fridays and I love meeting so many of you who listen to these podcasts and who love Five Minute Friday as well. If you ever see me out at an event or on the streets, anywhere in Los Angeles or New York, make sure to please come up and say hello because I'd love to hear your story about how this podcast inspires you. Please share this with your friends, lewishowes.com/235. Would love to get the message out there for anyone that feels like they're in breakdown and they don't know the importance of it when they feel like things are falling apart. So, thank you all so much for being here. This is Five Minute Friday. You guys know what time it is.

• 5:21Lewis Howes?

  It's time to go out there and do something great.