151 What Holds Us Back from Having It All with Danielle LaPorte

"I feel unstoppable because I'm unafraid to fail." - Danielle LaPorte If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at www.lewishowes.com/151. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 151 with Danielle LaPorte.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  What is up all you beautiful souls out there? Thank you so much for joining me today, episode number 151. Now, we've got a great episode today. Her name is Danielle LaPorte, and she has been on previously, I think about a year, year and a half ago. But we're bringing her back on. She's here in my studio in Los Angeles. We have a little sit down. There's actually a video to accompany this. If you go back to the show notes and get all the tips from today's episode at lewishouse.com/151, you can see a couple of videos of me and Danielle. And I think about Danielle as this incredible soul, who is extremely passionate, creative writer, author, and really, she's an unapologetic entrepreneur.

• 1:16Lewis Howes?

  And we talk about some of the decisions she's made, what she's creating, what she's up to now and in the future, and how she thinks in this episode. And I think you're going to get a lot out of this. So make sure to sit down, sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode because Danielle is crushing it in the business space. She's got a huge audience. And after you connect with her in person, and hopefully after you listen to this episode, if you haven't heard of her before, you'll see why so many people follow her and love her. She's just got a great sense about her. And I'm super excited to introduce you to the one and only Danielle LaPorte.

• 1:55Lewis Howes?

  So a lot of women that I talk with, they look at you and they think that you have it all.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03Lewis Howes?

  Well, they know you have it all, because you do have it all.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  I have my version.

• 2:07Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  But I don't have it all. There's things I want, yeah.

• 2:09Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11Lewis Howes?

  But a lot of them think that, you know, you don't have any fears, or like, nothing can stop you. So I'm curious, do you have anything that stops you right now, or anything that you need to break through with still, or anything you're afraid of that holds you back in any way?

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Well, I was just interviewing somebody this morning, for, you know, to be on the team. And she was saying, you know, everybody just sees you like, just, it's launch after launch, and how does she do it? And I say, "Well, she's got a team." And I said, "Well, yes, amazing team and we're tight." But I really, we just live in the space of, "Why not? Why not?" And if you're gonna give me a "not," I'm gonna just say, "That's not even." So I actually feel unstoppable. And it doesn't mean... I feel unstoppable because I'm not afraid to fail either. Like, I am so good at quitting stuff. There's a lot of stuff that I quit.

• 3:08Lewis Howes?

  Like the magazine, right?

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Like the magazine.

• 3:10Lewis Howes?

  You invested a lot of money.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Yes. Ninety thousand dollars.

• 3:13Lewis Howes?

  Time, energy.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Nine months.

• 3:15Lewis Howes?

  Print, nine months?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Print, we were gonna go to print. Like, it was, you know, the first PDF was, the files, done. And I was woke up and I was like, "I'm not failing it."

• 3:26Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  And I also knew it was really gonna affect my freedom. Like, I'd really have to deliver every month. And I wanna deliver, but I wanna deliver when I wanna deliver.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  So, like, I've played with the idea of what would Unstoppable look like? Well, let's just live as if I'm unstoppable. Well, how does Unstoppable feel? So I feel pretty fearless in terms of creativity. And I feel, there's things I feel shy about still, like, you know, I can get on a stage and read a spoken word piece at a gig. You know, and that's cool, and I feel, I feel really lit up.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  I have never gone to a small cafe and done a spoken word piece.

• 4:11Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:12Lewis Howes?

  To like twenty people?

• 4:13Speaker 01

  And don't dare me in this video.

• 4:14Lewis Howes?

  To twenty people?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:16Lewis Howes?

  Well, we've got the Comedy Store right up the street.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Oh, no, ever.

• 4:20Lewis Howes?

  So why does that scare you?

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Well, because I'm an introvert. And I think with three thousand people, it's just, you know, it's just like, it's different. With twenty people, it's intimate and then there's all that pretension with that whole cafe spoken word, you know? And so much of my stuff has got to do with like love and consciousness. And I just don't know if it's like that, you know? But I mean, look at me. I don't know if it's that good.

• 4:50Lewis Howes?

  But you're unstoppable.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Well, I would do it, but I haven't wanted to do it.

• 4:56Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:58Lewis Howes?

  So what do you still get to break through with? What is holding you back from the next level?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  The next level? Nothing.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  I mean, nothing.

• 5:07Lewis Howes?

  So you don't have any fears besides speaking in front of twenty people at a cafe?

• 5:13Lewis Howes?

  Or you're willing to try anything?

• 5:14Speaker 01

  I'm really trying to find some fears. Of course I have fears. I mean, I don't want to die with my song still inside me. I want to fulfill my potential. I mean, really, I tell you, I don't think anybody really knows me. So...

• 5:28Lewis Howes?

  Why not?

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Well, there's capacity to know people.

• 5:36Lewis Howes?

  How come they don't know you?

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Here we go.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  This is why we're on the couch.

• 5:42Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  People are complex. Does anybody know you, really?

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  I think a few people might.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Okay. I would challenge you on that. I think they probably, no.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  And maybe I'm being shitty to challenge you on that. I don't know, I gotta think about this.

• 6:05Lewis Howes?

  I feel like I'm very open, but what I think is in my mind, I express it and I speak it. Even if I'm afraid, I'm like, here's really what I'm thinking, it's kinda messed up, but I'm gonna say it anyways.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  But like, you know, your snot crying fears that you aren't even aware of yet, your weaknesses.

• 6:22Lewis Howes?

  I express a lot of them.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Okay, great.

• 6:24Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm definitely not perfect, but I feel like people in my life like know that I've got issues and I'm messed up and I'm not perfect.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Are you fucked up?

• 6:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, but I embrace it and I feel like because I'm able to embrace it and own it and accept it, that makes me less fucked up.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  So what's your flavor of fucked up? What are your issues?

• 6:46Lewis Howes?

  I mean, like, growing up, I was sexually abused, I was, you know, I felt constantly like not accepted because my brother went to prison for four years when I was eight, so I wasn't able to have any friends during that time. So it was always feeling like I wasn't enough, there was no one who wanted to hang out with me. You know, people can treat me however they want because I was abused when I was a kid.

• 7:10Lewis Howes?

  And I've never felt like safe. So I was, I would take that resentment and anger and frustration into every experience in my life. In some ways, it drove me to be very successful and achieve what I wanted, but it left me feeling very empty and lonely and, you know, uncertain in myself and very insecure for a long time. And since I've been able to express it and be aware of it and talk about it and own it, it doesn't control me anymore. Sometimes it comes up and I'm like, oh, I'm aware, this is what's happening. Let me get back to who I really am and move forward and come from a different space. But, you know, there's stuff that, I'm not perfect, that's for sure. This is a question for you, not for me.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, but...

• 7:51Lewis Howes?

  So why doesn't anyone know you?

• 7:56Speaker 01

  I haven't found the right person yet.

• 7:57Lewis Howes?

  To open up fully to?

• 7:59Speaker 01

  To open up fully to, to...

• 8:02Lewis Howes?

  Why can't you open up fully to a number of people?

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Well, I open up, so let's get it all out there. Like, I have very deep relationships. I have close, I have, I have a lot of depth with, I think, a great number of people. I'm not great, you know, like, I just did this photo shoot the other day, and it was a dude photographer, and he was like, "So, you know, give me vulnerable." And I was like, "You haven't even talked to me yet. I'm not gonna give you vulnerable." Like, it doesn't work that way.

• 8:33Lewis Howes?

  Created no connection.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  But I, I, I... We'll see. I mean, work in progress.

• 8:41Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, interesting.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:43Lewis Howes?

  What is it gonna take for you to feel like you're ready to open up?

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Well, I'm ready. It's the right, it's the right circumstance, it's the right person, it's, um...

• 8:53Lewis Howes?

  What would it look like if you opened up to anyone?

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Well, it looks like it does now. I mean, I'm pretty fucking open.

• 9:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay, but not completely. There's something you're holding back.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  There's things that are, that only, like, a committed... God, now this is becoming a relationship podcast.

• 9:11Lewis Howes?

  What is it that you don't want people to know about?

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Can we just talk about money?

• 9:14Lewis Howes?

  No. 'Cause this connects to money.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  I don't even know what I don't want people to know. There's no deep, dark secret. I can say that, like, for the record. There's not...

• 9:23Lewis Howes?

  Then how are you not fully expressing yourself, or fully connecting, or opening?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  You know, I come from a star. I, I want to...

• 9:35Lewis Howes?

  I'm hearing excuses now.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  This, no, this isn't excuses. This is, I'm into the complexity of consciousness. Yes, I wanna be fully exposed and fully there. I wanna be fully feminine. I wanna be fully masculine. I want to experience beloved, team. I mean, I, the, the people in my life who are beloved, who I'm there with, um, we are in it together. Like, you want my help?

• 10:03Speaker 01

  You got my number. Like, how can I? We could win the same race, and I would help you strategize on how you could win.

• 10:10Lewis Howes?

  I get that. I see that. But you're telling me, you're telling me you're not fully, no one fully knows you, though, is what you're telling me.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Well, not yet, and that's that.

• 10:19Lewis Howes?

  So when will?

• 10:19Speaker 01

  And it doesn't mean, well, I don't know. It's a magic formula. The fact that I feel that nobody fully knows me, first of all, philosophically, I believe that no one fully knows anybody, ever. I mean, I want to go to the greatest extent. But we are complex. We have limitations of perception.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  But I'll tell you this, I don't think I have any defects, or there's some fucking issue I need to go to therapy with.

• 10:49Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Because I can state what I perceive as the truth, that, yeah, nobody fully knows who I am.

• 10:55Lewis Howes?

  So you feel like you're, because you're divorced now, right?

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 10:57Lewis Howes?

  So your ex-husband, he never, he never fully knew who you were?

• 11:00Speaker 01

  No, it's because we're divorced.

• 11:01Lewis Howes?

  You never fully, or did you never fully open up?

• 11:04Speaker 01

  God. What's the name of your podcast?

• 11:06Lewis Howes?

  School of Greatness.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:10Lewis Howes?

  Well, I mean, if you wanted to...

• 11:11Speaker 01

  I went as far as I could.

• 11:13Lewis Howes?

  And then what?

• 11:14Speaker 01

  And then...

• 11:15Lewis Howes?

  You stopped opening up, or there wasn't the space for you to open up?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  I would say wasn't the space.

• 11:24Lewis Howes?

  Who creates the space?

• 11:26Speaker 01

  I think it's mutual.

• 11:27Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  You have to be really, you gotta be both committed to this all the time. And if you're not both in that mode, then the container just shrinks. And like, I need a big container.

• 11:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So you're saying, once you meet the person, the individual, who can create a mutual space of a huge, open container, then you'll fully show yourself to that person, to the world?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Bring it.

• 11:51Lewis Howes?

  Okay, alright. You mentioned about reaching your full potential. You said you're constantly like, striving to reach your full potential. Do you ever feel like you'll reach it? And what would that look like if, when you do? And does someone ever, ever fully reach their full potential? Or is it always a next level?

• 12:10Speaker 01

  I think there's always a next level. I feel like I am in my full potential right now. And I'm as great as I can be today. And I'll be more awesome tomorrow.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  I just don't want to miss...

• 12:26Speaker 01

  I don't want to have not done what I wanted to do.

• 12:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  So, yeah.

• 12:34Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it doesn't, it's not a fear that drives me at all.

• 12:38Lewis Howes?

  Right, okay. What do you feel like, I'm still not clear on what the big thing that you want to break through with, but what do you feel like, what do you feel like is the big thing that the majority of people get to break through with in order to reach their full potential on a daily, ongoing basis? Like, what is it the majority of people that you interact with is holding them back, do you think? There was like one thing you could pinpoint it on that could...

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Oh, stop worrying about what everybody thinks of you. I'm so bored with that, but that's it.

• 13:09Lewis Howes?

  That's it.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  That's it, like, who cares? Who cares what your boss? And, you know, I sound glib and, and all ninja when I say it, but, you know, look, I understand the complexity of what your dad thinks of you and your mother and your partners and all of that. And you've really got to live life for yourself.

• 13:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  You've got to live life. And, you know, what you don't hear a lot, and, you know, that's such like a motivational 101-ism, right? Live life for yourself. But after that is, guess what? You live life for yourself, it's going to be painful. You are gonna lose some people that you love. You're going to feel lonely.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  And it's the best return on your investment. Freedom, liberation, you're gonna know your power. You're gonna feel sexy and influential and whatever it is your core desired feelings are. But like, it's a rocky road.

• 14:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  And, and that ruggedness comes up again and again. If you're gonna stay in the school of greatness...

• 14:18Lewis Howes?

  If you're always getting to the next level, there's another...

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's sort of like, you know, to put it crass, you're like, well, who am I gonna piss off this week to be myself? But that's kind of how it works.

• 14:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  And it doesn't mean that you aren't incredibly kind every step of the way. But you know, I've really learned in the last year and a half. You know, it all goes back to that self-worth and self-love. And sometimes, the most loving things you do for yourself, look mean to other people.

• 14:52Lewis Howes?

  Or selfish, or...

• 14:53Speaker 01

  That's right. It's like, you know, I love myself, I'm protecting myself.

• 14:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  I'm honoring my creativity. You're actually not allowed on my property anymore.

• 15:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, so...

• 15:04Lewis Howes?

  We gotta put our masks on first.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, which by the way, you know, that metaphor of the mask in the airplane. No mother would ever put their mask on first.

• 15:12Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  But it works. The metaphor works. Yes, yeah.

• 15:14Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. What's your main mission right now, or your vision? Mine evolves over time. Like, when I was 16, it was to get a girlfriend, probably, right? And then when I was like 20, it was to play football.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  It was still to get a girlfriend.

• 15:26Lewis Howes?

  It was that too, right?

• 15:27Speaker 01

  And now what is it? Keep your girlfriend.

• 15:29Lewis Howes?

  Keep your girlfriend. But you know, it evolves. As we like, get older, we have different missions. We wanna leave a legacy, things like that. My mission, I told you before, is to serve 100 million people, to show them how to make a full-time living doing what they love. I feel like that's gonna heal the world in my own way. Because when people are making a full-time living, whether it's 40 grand, or a couple hundred grand, or millions of dollars, doesn't matter. Whatever allows them to live comfortably, doing the things they're so passionate about. They're gonna be nicer to people, they're gonna treat their spouse or their husband with better respect. They're gonna treat themselves with deeper respect. They're gonna wanna work out and be healthier, all these things. Which I think they're gonna be less stressful, less diseased. This is gonna heal the world in my own way.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:10Lewis Howes?

  So do you have like a, you know, something that you wanna achieve with your mission, or your vision, with what you're creating right now? Or is it more just what you're up to this year, or the next few years, or... What's Danielle LaPorte want?

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Well, I consider myself a light worker. And I want to...

• 16:28Speaker 01

  I'm a provocer of the truth. So I want my work to get you thinking about what's right for you. And I'm gonna do that till the day I die.

• 16:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wanna support the seekers. Yeah. And specifically, in terms of like, the, you know, the incorporation, the business. You know, with Desire Map, it's about, I want to help as many people as possible get clear on their core desired feelings.

• 16:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Cool. As possible, in quotes, is very specific.

• 17:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  So, that's as many as people, as many people as possible, within our restraints. So, what's possible for me, as a mom who wants to be there with a snack for my kid at 3 o'clock every day.

• 17:16Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  What's possible in terms of helping the women on my team be healthy and not overwork, because we're all overworkers.

• 17:23Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Um, yeah. And, I love making beauty, you know? So, I really think beauty is a healer.

• 17:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  So, I want to make beautiful things. And, um, you know, I think my gift is to broadcast. I'm a broadcaster. I, I, you know, I went on a journey, I learned this, here you go. And that's like my service.

• 17:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:50Lewis Howes?

  If you were given, if I handed you a billion dollars right now.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure.

• 17:54Lewis Howes?

  What would you do, and you could only use it to serve the world?

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:58Lewis Howes?

  What would you do with that money to serve the world?

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, I wouldn't want anybody else to know that you handed me a billion dollars. So, it would have to be confidential.

• 18:03Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Um, what would I do to serve the world? I would go straight to the beginning. So, I would, I would do some things in layers in terms of funding. Um, it would have to be with conscious birth, and how we specifically in North America approach giving birth.

• 18:23Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  And the options around that, and the consciousness around babies being born.

• 18:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  And then, I would do some funding around conscious parenting. Because we're all so fucked up because of things that went wrong.

• 18:36Lewis Howes?

  Our parents.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Or, you know, extended, or whatever, you know? Um, and I just want to go on the record and say I'm not that fucked up because of my, my parents. I'm fucked up for other reasons. Um... And then I would do things around, I would do what I'm doing. I would do what I'm doing. For me, it would not be about animals. It would not be about environmentalism. Because there are other people that are more passionate, more skilled, more talented to do that. I'm like, okay, you know, you look at the, you look at the scope of crises. Okay, you Greens, you got that, okay. And then there's the animal lovers. I'm an animal lover, but you got, okay, you got the animals?

• 19:21Speaker 01

  I'm gonna cover pop culture, consciousness, divine feminine.

• 19:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  With a side of entrepreneurship. That's gonna be my thing.

• 19:30Lewis Howes?

  That's your thing, yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I suppose, I mean, a billion dollars, I could do a lot more with that. You know, I really love, I love the practice of micro lending. I think there is such tremendous leverage around micro loans specifically for women. I would be, you know, I would service all of humanity through the birthing and the parenting stuff.

• 19:53Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  But really, I think if you heal and empower women, you heal the whole society. You help healers, you heal women. I mean, women are naturally healers.

• 20:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  So it would have a lot to do with that. You know, right now, my philanthropic cash gets funneled to V-Day, Yvansler's organization. Because you heal women, you heal the world.

• 20:23Lewis Howes?

  You heal men too, yeah, through that process. That's interesting. What do you think people should be investing in more in themselves? If like, say every year, someone, someone had either money, time, or something to invest more in themselves, what should they be investing in specifically?

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Heart and mind.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  You know, so it's kind of cool in our like milieu, this kind of genre that we're in, like, everybody got a coach.

• 20:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  And I think everybody should have a coach. I'm pro-coaches. But, you know, the coaching is about, you know, it's armchair therapy. Super. And it's about hitting your goals, hitting the mark, and that's great. But in my life, you know, the energy workers that I work with, that help me see things multi-dimensionally, it's like, this is what's up in a meditation, this is what's up in a dream, it's like, you know, you put them in the camp of intuitives. What can you see because you have the gift of sight, precise gifts of sight, that I don't have right now? I want that. Like, I have on my team, monthly retainer, an energy worker, who every week, once a

• 21:32Speaker 01

  week, Wednesday, Friday, texts me an energy report of the company and my life. He's like, you know, there was a little bit of clogged energy here in this particular relationship, we worked on moving that. So it's like, you know, just like a kinesiologist is gonna move, you know, work on your muscles, there are energy workers who are gonna help shift energy for you.

• 21:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  And I just feel like, you know, these folks on my team, this is like my secret weapon.

• 21:59Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty cool.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that's where I would invest. That's where I do invest, probably thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars on the, like, serious woo stuff every year. And, um...

• 22:11Lewis Howes?

  But it works for you.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and like, extra woo is, um, this is, nobody on your show has ever said this, but crystals for me are a technology.

• 22:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, there's a reason you have a quartz crystal in your old Seiko watch. I mean, they keep a particular vibration. So I have massive...

• 22:30Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Stones that are energized and activated and programmed for me. And, and, you know, some of my close woo entrepreneurial friends, I'm like, this is the next frontier, yo, you gotta get a big citrine and get that mother programmed.

• 22:44Lewis Howes?

  How do you program it?

• 22:46Speaker 01

  You go, "This is what I want." "And we're gonna work together." "You be with it, just like you be with your thoughts or your body." "And then you get with people who are, you know, that's their gift." "They speak energy."

• 23:01Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. Yeah, I was up at Jack Hanfield's house a month ago, and he had crystals everywhere, huge crystals and like little crystals. And I was like, "Interesting." And his place was massive.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  They're not there for, they're not home decor.

• 23:14Lewis Howes?

  They were massive ones.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:16Lewis Howes?

  It's insane. They were like 100-pound ones, it seemed like. They were so heavy.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Yes, I would, you know, I just had a great launch and it was great in every possible way. And I say it's heart and smarts and my citrines.

• 23:32Lewis Howes?

  This is the key to your success.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:34Lewis Howes?

  Wow, okay.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:36Lewis Howes?

  Where can people learn about the citrines?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Well, eventually I'm gonna do courses on these.

• 23:41Lewis Howes?

  You're gonna have courses, you're gonna have...

• 23:42Speaker 01

  This is a future Danielle thing, yeah.

• 23:44Lewis Howes?

  Because why not?

• 23:45Speaker 01

  Because why not?

• 23:46Lewis Howes?

  Because why not?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Because why not? Because it works for me.

• 23:48Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  Because I've been seeking, I bring it down, I broadcast it. Uh, where can you find out? Well, I mean, basic books and the Encyclopedia of Crystals, but, uh...

• 23:58Lewis Howes?

  Is there a good website for people to get this, or?

• 24:00Speaker 01

  No, I gotta make that website. Yeah.

• 24:03Lewis Howes?

  Awesome.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  You know what? The Book of Stones is fantastic. I think the last name is Simmons. You can get it on Amazon. It's about that thick.

• 24:10Lewis Howes?

  Is there anything about you...

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 24:13Lewis Howes?

  That people don't know yet?

• 24:15Speaker 01

  God, he won't stop.

• 24:17Lewis Howes?

  That you really, that they should know?

• 24:19Speaker 01

  I don't, is this useful for people? I don't think this is, is this useful for people, Louis? We should talk about how to grow your Twitter following.

• 24:24Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious. I think it is. It's all about the heart.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Well, I'm really fucking funny. And if you, if you don't laugh, it's just, then it's not funny. Um, so I don't think, my sense of humor doesn't always get as much airplay, you know? Um, and sometimes I'm not funny. Like, I remember talking to my speaking coach in the early days. And I said, you know, "I just, I talked for an hour and like, they didn't laugh at my jokes." And, and it was just like dead silence. And she's like, Danielle, they might be mesmerized. And I was like, okay, I guess that's better than them thinking I suck. And then I would know from the response after, which was, you know, you know when there's a line up.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  I was like, okay, so I'm not a dud.

• 25:13Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  I'm funny and I cry a lot. I'm not a weeper. I mean, of course I weep at times, but you know, sometimes it's just the barista and just the way, and I just was, I'm just like, oh, we just connected. And I really feel a lot of pain.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:39Lewis Howes?

  You feel a lot of pain?

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:41Lewis Howes?

  Constantly?

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Sure. I feel a lot of joy constantly. Because if you're gonna feel, if you wanna feel, you gotta sign up for this. If you wanna be awake and alive and you wanna feel the joy, then I guarantee you're gonna feel extreme pain. Yeah.

• 25:57Lewis Howes?

  I'm a big believer in that. I think if you wanna get the best in life, you gotta experience a lot of pain in order to have the best.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Well, that's different. That, that's more of a, that's like a linear, to get there, you have to get this. Consider, consider more like circular and broad, which is, yeah, it's not about earning, it's not about enduring to get to the joy, it's like, because you feel joy, because you have to be so hollowed out to feel ecstasy.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  You're hollow, or you're full, however you wanna look at it. Ergo, pain is going to, is going to enter as well, yeah.

• 26:42Lewis Howes?

  What do you feel is the most powerful emotion someone can have?

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Oh, powerful emotion. Rage is pretty powerful. Rage is great.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Love is so overused. I don't, I don't, uh, yeah. I guess forgiveness is very, is healing. You know, I just think about my son, you know, my greatest love, and I don't even know if there is an emotion. There's just, I mean, obviously, I love him to the nth. I think, I think whatever, I don't know if there's a word for it. You know, it's like Inuits, Eskimo, you know, 28 words for snow. But there's a kind of love where somebody else's happiness is, is your bliss.

• 27:29Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, what is that?

• 27:31Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 27:32Lewis Howes?

  That was good, that was good.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  And that's really powerful, like, you know, when, sometimes I think, you know, my son doesn't even know how happy I am for him. And, and I would just, that is powerful because when I am so happy for his happiness, you know, you would just do anything. You wanna move, where do you wanna go? What do you want? You want a burrito for dinner? Ice cream for, okay, you got it. Yeah.

• 28:00Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. I like that. What are you most grateful for recently?

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Grateful for recently? Well, I write, write, write down every day what I'm grateful for. I am grateful for some particular people in my life. There's about three people that I regularly, you know, we're texting every day and it's just, it's just this back and forth of, I got ya, I got ya. What do you need? What do you need? I saw, I thought of something for you, you know? Uh, I'm so excited for you. That's where it is. It's like, who in your life is the, I'm so excited for yous? The, that, yeah.

• 28:33Lewis Howes?

  Who are they?

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Um, my friend Deb Kern. Um, I think she's DrDebKern.com. And, um, my energy guy, Atana. And, um, my dear friend Megan Waterson. The list would just grow and it's like, um, Mike Watts and Kate Northrup and Marie Forleo and those beloveds. And, you know, one of my beloveds is, is my chief of staff, Steph Corker. And then there's Angie Wheeler. Then I would just, my whole team. I mean, it just goes on. There's like this parade of, of...

• 29:07Lewis Howes?

  Gratitude.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  I'd be nothing without you.

• 29:11Lewis Howes?

  That's great. Okay. Well, I wanna ask, uh, before I ask one more question, is there anything that you wanna say or talk about? Or you feel like there's anything that's opening up for you?

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Uh, that's opening up for me?

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Well, we could just reverse it and I would just interview you. So like, I'm really curious, like, you've had all these conversations about greatness. What's the stuck? What's the stuck for people?

• 29:37Lewis Howes?

  What's the stuck?

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I have, and I have a follow-up question to this.

• 29:41Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean stuck?

• 29:42Speaker 01

  Well, I was just being poetic, like, what's everybody's problem?

• 29:45Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  What's holding them back from being an advanced student of the School of Greatness?

• 29:49Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha, okay.

• 29:52Lewis Howes?

  Well, we talked about the fear of failure, the fear of looking bad, and the fear of success. Those are kind of the three common themes. And everyone's got different variations of that, but a lot of it's fear of what other people are gonna think or say, or... And then, what they're gonna think or say when they fail, and what they're gonna think or say when they succeed. And the responsibilities that come with that. Those are the common ones.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  The last, that's interesting about the failure of success and what people are gonna think or say. It's a great distinction, yeah.

• 30:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And, um, what's your cocktail party, podcast, I know you're writing a book about it, but what's your counsel for this? So let's just focus. So, let's say someone's fear is number three, success. What are people gonna think or say? And so...

• 30:44Lewis Howes?

  What would I respond to that?

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's your healing response?

• 30:47Lewis Howes?

  I would say they're gonna, you know, kind of what you already said is that if you wanna make an impact in the world, and you wanna do something great, people are gonna say nasty things about you. A lot of people are gonna hate you anyways. So you might as well do the things you love and be yourself. That's what I would say. You can either do nothing and get zero results, and people are still gonna have an opinion about you. They're still gonna say, "Oh, he's doing nothing," or "She's doing nothing," or they're not up to a big game, or "They're worthless," or whatever. So you might as well go for something, 'cause you're still gonna get that anyways.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Okay, another question.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  What's, on a scale of one to 10, how competitive are you?

• 31:28Lewis Howes?

  20?

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. So...

• 31:31Lewis Howes?

  I mean, there's no scale.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  There's no scale?

• 31:34Lewis Howes?

  It depends, though.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  So if you and I play a game, you gotta fucking win?

• 31:38Lewis Howes?

  You know, over the, if I was like 25, yes. And I would be a sore loser and be like, "We're playing until I win." You know, it'd be like, it was like...

• 31:47Speaker 01

  Five more.

• 31:47Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, yes. That was my attitude. Now, I've learned to appreciate the win-win and everything.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 31:57Lewis Howes?

  So learning, even when I lose, how can I actually make it a win for me? So that it's actually more powerful that I lost.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:06Lewis Howes?

  So I find the win-win, but I'm still very competitive. But if I lose the game, or the points, or the score, or whatever, whatever the criteria is, then I look at it as feedback for why I didn't win. And what can I do to get to the next level? What's in the way? What's in the gap?

• 32:22Speaker 01

  But you've still gotta win?

• 32:24Lewis Howes?

  Most of the time, yeah. But I've learned to find the silver lining and everything and be like, "Okay." This is more, this is like, sometimes I wanna lose. Because it gives me like this energy and this, otherwise it's too easy, all the time.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, that...

• 32:37Lewis Howes?

  You know, you gotta lose every once in a while.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  As my, one of my yoga teachers always says, like, "We want to create stress in your body." Yeah, "Let's create some stress in the hip flexor." So, yeah.

• 32:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and I wanna, and I wanna always check myself, where, maybe where it's good feedback on like my mindset, maybe I wasn't focused, or I wasn't fully engaged, or something was missing. So I get to look at those things and be like, "Okay, I get to work on that."

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Thank you, Lewis Howes.

• 33:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Well, before the final question, which you answered before...

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Oh, we haven't answered the final one?

• 33:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Oh, grand finale.

• 33:09Lewis Howes?

  That's why I asked you, if there's anything else you wanna say. Well, I wanna acknowledge you really quick, because I really appreciate you being here and coming and doing this podcast. And I wanna acknowledge you, Danielle, for... The light and the energy that you constantly are for so many people. I know that you stand and represent greatness in your own way, but you really, to me, you represent healing for people. And just your energy is so magnetic and so calm, but it's like constantly flowing in different ways. And that for me is extremely healing, and I know you're healing a lot of people through the work you do, through the ideas you get and from what you create in your art.

• 33:51Lewis Howes?

  So I acknowledge you for being that gift and for just showing up every single day the way you do. It's really powerful. So the final question, which you've answered before, I believe, is what's your definition of greatness?

• 34:03Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 34:04Lewis Howes?

  But it may be different now.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  I didn't know this was like your first question. Okay, what's my definition of greatness? I remember what I said last time, which was kindness, I think. Um, my definite, why would I change that? My definition of greatness? Hmm. It's the belief that you don't have to earn your freedom. Yeah, like I don't have to earn, I don't have to earn love. I don't have to earn liberty. I am, I am worthy of it. Really, it's the belief that I am that. I am love, I am freedom, I am what I desire. Yeah, that's, um, that's a great, yeah, it's a great way to be.

• 34:47Lewis Howes?

  Danielle Port, thanks for coming on, appreciate you.

• 34:54Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, guys. Thank you so much for joining me today on the School of Greatness podcast. We've had a lot of females on lately. We had Danielle, we had Julianne Huff, episode number 148. If you guys missed that one, make sure to listen to that and check out our show notes because we do some salsa dancing. We also had Marie Forleo on recently on episode number 139. And then Vani Hari, the food babe, New York Times bestseller for a number of weeks in a row now for episode number 136. Bringing on lots of powerhouse women on lately and, uh, cause everyone's been requesting that. They're saying, there's too many men out here. So I'm, I'm seeking out the greatest female. Minds and inspiring souls in the world for you guys because you keep asking for it.

• 35:36Lewis Howes?

  So if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends. LewisHowes.com/151. Go ahead and post it on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and Google+ and tag me and Danielle over on Instagram where you're listening to this as well. I'm super appreciative for everyone. I've been getting a ton of reviews lately. We're almost at a thousand reviews. Actually, we're close to about 700, but it's closer to 1,500. So I'm saying 1,000 reviews almost. And if you haven't yet left a review, please leave a review, an honest review of the show. I'm going to continue working my ass off for you guys. My goal is to work my ass off for all of you. The show continues to grow and grow and I wouldn't be able to, you know,

• 36:21Lewis Howes?

  create this type of content and bring on these guests if you guys weren't listening. So from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you and thank you. And you know, I still haven't talked to all the people that I want to talk to. I want to get the Will Smiths of the world, The Rock, all these other great minds on and I'm going to have to continue to get the platform bigger and bigger for all these great minds to come on and see the value as well. So I'm going to get them on there. It's going to happen. It just depends on how fast, based on how much you spread the word of the podcast. So the more reviews we get, the more shares we get, the more people you talk about it, the more you take action and get results from these interviews, then that's really all I can ask for is take action, take notes,

• 37:04Lewis Howes?

  and get results in your own life based on each guest that I bring on. I'm also, I've been bringing on these different Five Minute Fridays. Last couple of Five Minute Fridays, people have just been saying they've been listening to them five, 10 times over in a day and they can't get enough of them. So I'm glad you guys like those. If you haven't checked that out yet, make sure to download a Five Minute Friday. They're only, you know, four or five minutes long and I'm having a lot of fun with those as well. But this takes, this takes a lot of time, guys. It takes a lot of energy and a lot of time to put this together. So the more you guys can share this, the easier it is on me and that's a big help that you guys can do for me. So thank you guys so much. Much. Make sure to check out all the tips, the links, how you can get more access to Danielle

• 37:47Lewis Howes?

  over at LewisHowes.com/151. You guys are incredible and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.