139 How to Build a Business and Life You Love with Marie Forleo

"So much of success is your attitude that you bring to the table." - Marie Forleo If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, videos, my exclusive link to B School and more at www.lewishowes.com/139. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  It's time to get ready, boys and girls, because this is episode number 139 with Marie Forleo. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone. Super pumped for this episode. I've got my dear friend on, Marie Forleo. And Marie is just an incredible human being, first and foremost, but I want to read you her professional bio. Marie was named by Oprah as a thought leader for the next generation and one of Inc.'s 500 fastest growing companies of 2014. Her mission is to help you realize your greatest potential and use your unique talents to change the world. She reaches over 275,000 readers in 193 countries worldwide and leads dynamic training programs that teach individuals to succeed in business and life.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  She's the creator of the award-winning show Marie TV and has been featured on Entrepreneur Magazine, Fast Company, Glamour Magazine, Self Magazine, Forbes, New York Times, and many other publications. The list goes on and on about Marie, but what you really need to know is she is an incredible human being with a huge heart that is so dedicated and committed to serving others, achieve their dreams. And it comes across in her videos and her content and her training and her programs. She's got a program out right now called Marie Forleo's B-School, and it's incredible. I'll have a link at the end of the show notes here of where you can learn more about that.

• 1:52Speaker 00

  And specifically what I'm going to give you, if you go to lewishowes.com/139, you're going to see a link with all this information in the show notes of this episode and the full video of this interview, along with some other cool videos. And I'm also going to share with you guys exactly how you can.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Get B school and what I'm going to be giving you if you actually do sign up. I'm going to give you something extremely special. So make sure to check out at the end of this show to hear what that is. And also go to Lewis Howes dot com slash one, three, nine to watch the full video interview. And you're going to get a ton out of this episode because Marie, I don't really see Marie doing a lot of interviews specifically on podcasts or video interviews. It's very rare. Maybe I missed them, but I feel like she doesn't do too many of them. She's really focused on her own show and I ask her a lot of questions about her daily rituals. You know, her keys to success, how it's taken, you know, a long time to get to where she is now. It didn't happen overnight. The lessons she learned from bartending, from working on the stock exchange, from

• 2:52Lewis Howes?

  doing dance classes and how she learned those skills, how they all added up to doing what she is doing now. And the reason she's been so successful. Now, without further ado, let's go ahead and dive into this episode with the one, the only Marie Forleo.

• 3:13Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. I'm with my dear friend, Marie Forleo. How's it going?

• 3:18Marie Forleo?

  Amazing. I'm so happy to have you here in our studio.

• 3:21Lewis Howes?

  I know you've been here for what a year now?

• 3:23Marie Forleo?

  A little bit over a year and we're so happy about it.

• 3:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think I came in one of the first months you were getting ready. We had a little meeting here and it's come a long way. Obviously all your videos are incredible in this space.

• 3:34Marie Forleo?

  Thank you.

• 3:35Lewis Howes?

  So first I want to just say congratulations for all your success. I've known you for I think four years now. Is that right?

• 3:40Marie Forleo?

  Something like that.

• 3:41Lewis Howes?

  2010, maybe 2011 and I've, we've hung out a bunch along the journey. And I've seen the growth you've had and it's just incredible and so inspiring. And you deserve it. It's been amazing to watch your growth and to see how many people you're serving and inspiring and all the success stories that are coming from the work you're doing. So first, congrats.

• 4:03Marie Forleo?

  Thank you so much. That's so sweet.

• 4:04Lewis Howes?

  It's so cool. And obviously I'm in your, your B school community. So I see the comments and the feedback that all of the members have when they're seeing their own success.

• 4:15Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 4:15Lewis Howes?

  So it's just so much fun and you're doing great work. I want to talk about how you actually got to where you are now, because this isn't what you used to do back in the day. You used to be, I guess, on the New York Stock Exchange floor, right?

• 4:28Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  And then you were a bartender as well, I think during or after that period.

• 4:31Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 4:32Lewis Howes?

  And you were a fitness dance instructor.

• 4:34Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 4:34Lewis Howes?

  And probably doing a number of other things. Did you ever imagine?

• 4:40Lewis Howes?

  Earlier in your career that you'd be where you are now.

• 4:42Marie Forleo?

  I think there was glimmers of it. You know, when I was on the New York Stock Exchange, it was an amazing environment. You know, there's no seats on the floor. And you're running around like a crazy person all day, which is great for me because I had a lot of energy. But I realized, you know, no matter how many millions people were making around me, they seemed and they shared that they felt spiritually bankrupt. And I just couldn't envision myself going to the same place every single day and living for like those two weeks a year when you could take vacation. Just felt like a mismatch for my DNA. So I knew I was meant to do something that was different. I knew that I wanted to make a positive impact on a lot of people's lives. I knew I wanted to travel. I had a sense that I wanted to teach somehow, but I couldn't have imagined this because I don't think I even knew this could exist.

• 5:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Lewis Howes?

  Well, back then, there wasn't even the internet, probably. Or there was, no one was really doing this.

• 5:32Marie Forleo?

  Not at this level. And, you know, after I left Wall Street and I was going on my odyssey to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. And I worked in magazine publishing because I thought that that would be a good mix for me because I loved business, but I was also really creative. As a little girl, I would draw and paint all the time. And I thought I was either going to be an animator for Disney or a fashion designer.

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  Really? Was that your dream as a child?

• 5:54Marie Forleo?

  I had, I was a multi-passionate kid. So when I look back at those kid books, my mom kept like really great records. And it says, you know, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I would answer at six with like five or six different professions. From like, I wanted to be an artist and a dancer and an actress and a writer and a teacher. There was always a million things.

• 6:12Lewis Howes?

  And you've done all those things. It sounds like, right?

• 6:15Marie Forleo?

  Yeah, but I even remember as a kid, I was like, gosh, choosing one thing sounds so boring. And I know it's great for some people because that's their truth, but for me, there was always a lot happening. So even in the magazine publishing world, it was awesome and I'm so grateful for that experience. But I kept having that feeling that I think many of us have. This is not where I'm supposed to be. This is not what I'm meant to do. And I would look ahead at my bosses, you know, the publisher of a magazine, the editor in chief of a magazine, and I would see that path and I said, "Gosh, I don't want to be them. I'm not aspiring to get that job. So if I don't want to climb this ladder, what am I doing here? Like, I'm wasting my time and their time." And it started to really gnaw at me because I felt I had so much potential

• 7:00Marie Forleo?

  and it felt like time was passing me by. And again, I was all of like 21 years old. But at that point, I was like, you know, a racehorse, ready to get out of the gate. And I just felt like I couldn't get traction. I felt like a loser, to be honest with you, because I knew I was smart, I knew I was driven, I knew I was ready to work hard, but I felt like I couldn't figure out where my place was.

• 7:20Lewis Howes?

  So it's interesting to talk about that you weren't feeling like you were living your passion. You could see, like, you didn't want to do this ladder thing for 10, 20 years to get to a certain position. And I get those emails and questions all the time from people, or that sense from people that are like not fully fulfilled with what they're doing. So how does someone take the steps to figuring out what it is they're really passionate about and take those steps to start doing it so they can make a full-time living doing what they love? What do you think some things people can do?

• 7:48Marie Forleo?

  My favorite life mantra that I live by is that clarity comes from engagement, not thought. I remember being in those jobs, trying to think my way into what I was supposed to be doing with my life. And at that time, the internet was, again, just kind of new. And one day, I was at Mademoiselle and I was searching around online and I stumbled upon this article about a new profession at the time called life coaching. And I say new at the time because now it seems like everybody...

• 8:13Lewis Howes?

  Everybody's a life coach.

• 8:14Marie Forleo?

  Everybody's a life coach.

• 8:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 8:15Marie Forleo?

  But I couldn't deny how something in my body and in my soul seemed to light up. And the more I learned about it, the more I got lit up. And so I researched and I found this place called Coach University. And it was the first online coach training. So they'd teach you to be a business coach and a life coach, and it was three years. You'd do it all over teleseminars. And again, this all sounded brand new, back in the late 90s.

• 8:43Lewis Howes?

  You're like, "Is this a scam? What is this teleseminar thing?"

• 8:46Marie Forleo?

  It sounded so cool and I really trusted the article that I read. And again, after I researched, I'm like, "This sounds amazing. It sounds like a good fit for me." So I signed up and I continued my job at the magazine during the day. But my point here is... I did something, you know, I got that article and I was like, wow, that inspired me. Let me go call the coach training place and check out what that is. Oh, let me go sign up and see what this is like. And out of the act of doing it, out of engaging, I kept getting the signals that this is, this is for me. And I think that so many of us can think in our minds like, okay, I'm dissatisfied. I'm not fulfilled. I don't know what I want to do. But we try and think our way into an answer rather than start getting into action to try different things, to sample them.

• 9:27Marie Forleo?

  You can take a class, you can take a physical class, you can read a book, you can start talking to people. There are so many different strategic ways to engage in an idea without quitting your job, without putting yourself at risk, without doing anything that would jeopardize your well-being in the current moment, but set yourself up for success, you know, down the line.

• 9:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, interesting. What do you think is, you know, you weren't this huge success overnight once you started live coaching. You know, it took you three years to become certified, I guess, right?

• 9:57Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 9:58Lewis Howes?

  And then you started to pick up-

• 9:59Marie Forleo?

  And I didn't even become certified. I graduated. I finished all of my courses, but then there was this whole other certification process. And to be really honest, I just, I was, didn't feel called to do it. I had other things by that point that I was like, okay, I want to get a product out there. I also got involved with health and fitness. So there was only 24 hours in a day and I just, I chose not to get certified because it didn't feel like I needed to.

• 10:21Lewis Howes?

  And you could pick up clients along the way anyways. You don't need to be certified to coach people.

• 10:25Marie Forleo?

  And I was more interested in, could I get someone results?

• 10:27Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 10:28Marie Forleo?

  Was I a good coach?

• 10:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:29Marie Forleo?

  Could I positively impact their life? Could I help them get to the place where they wanted to go? And could I be an awesome coach again from experience, not just because I had a piece of paper?

• 10:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:38Marie Forleo?

  So that for me was more exciting and that's what I focused on.

• 10:42Lewis Howes?

  What do you think people need to do in their thought process, in the approach and learning about that it's a journey? Because obviously, again, you didn't have clients overnight. You weren't this big success then that you are now with Marie TV and B School and all the things you've been up to. It's been a journey. It's been like a 10, 12, seven-year journey, right?

• 11:01Marie Forleo?

  Absolutely.

• 11:01Lewis Howes?

  To get to where you are now.

• 11:02Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 11:03Lewis Howes?

  And people want the results now. They want to be rich, they want to be healthy, they want to be, you know, wealthy in all the sense right now.

• 11:09Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 11:09Lewis Howes?

  How can people start approaching things differently to dream big but also be realistic?

• 11:14Marie Forleo?

  Yeah, I think that there is a mindset that I adopted thankfully in my early twenties that really saved my butt and that I think it can really help most people because I'm a driven individual. I'm incredibly ambitious and you know, most people in our day and age, there is that bit of wanting instant gratification, but I think that it sets us up to be unhappy. And so for me, I often wrestled with, okay, well, how do I reconcile the fact that I have big dreams, I'm not where I want to be yet, yet I don't want to be miserable until I get there because I'm smart enough to know that when I get there, my dreams are actually going to get bigger. So I'm just setting myself up for a life of misery.

• 11:53Marie Forleo?

  Thank goodness, I discovered this whole kind of philosophy of living in the moment and it was really a set of practices. And I learned how to get out of my head and really live in the here and now and not by sitting on some mountaintop or oming all day, but to really engage in the present moment like this moment is it. This is it. And I call it in the book that I wrote, Making Is-ness Your Business. Like whatever is happening in this moment, I'm gonna just approach it and attack it like I'm meant to be here, this is my party, no matter what's going on. If I'm bartending and I'm working seven days a week, if I'm scrubbing somebody's floor, which I did, I mean, I was a personal assistant, I cleaned people's toilets, I did whatever I needed to do because I didn't want to be a desperate life coach because I thought

• 12:38Marie Forleo?

  that's like the most horrible thing in the world, needing paying clients. I said, let me make money bartending and cleaning people's toilets or doing whatever I have to do so that when I'm coaching people, I can coach them out of my skill set and my desire to make a difference, not out of needing their money. So this idea of making is-ness your business trains you to love this moment, but you're also super pumped about where you're going. So it's not like you lose sight of your dreams, it's not like you lose your ambition, but you strike this really interesting balance of being fully here and now and fully excited about where you're going. And I think that saved me.

• 13:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think it's kind of like being in a dance of like living in the now, but also aspiring for the future of what you really want, which could be in a year, 10 years, or whatever it may be, right?

• 13:26Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 13:27Lewis Howes?

  And I just did an interview with a guy named Donald Schultz who said something that goes like, there are only two days a year you can't work, and it's yesterday and tomorrow. And I thought that was interesting when he said that, I was like, yeah, you've really got to be present. Obviously, you can dream about tomorrow and dream about your vision and what you want to create and plan for the future.

• 13:44Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 13:45Lewis Howes?

  But you've got to be present in today's journey.

• 13:47Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 13:48Lewis Howes?

  And appreciate what you do have, not what you don't have, right?

• 13:51Marie Forleo?

  Absolutely. And anywhere you find yourself, it is up to you whether or not you're going to be miserable there, or you're going to make it awesome. You know, and I remember so many times going into another bartending shift, and of course, if I let my mind run wild, my mind would say, what are you still doing here? If you were smarter, you would have, you know, a full business by now. When is this ever going to happen? And I really trained myself to go, whatever, I'm here right now. How can I make the best drink possible? How can I have so much fun with all the people that I'm working with? How can I give these people a great experience? So that at the end of my shift, I'm not exhausted from being miserable for six hours.

• 14:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Marie Forleo?

  And I can actually go home, yeah, a little bit tired, but not feeling like I'm wrong in my life.

• 14:32Lewis Howes?

  Or worthless, or...

• 14:33Marie Forleo?

  Or I'm not talented enough, or I'm not smart enough. And it was a really great training period. You know, people often ask, they're like, are you really always this happy? And I'm like, I'm not always happy, but I'm a damn happy person.

• 14:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Marie Forleo?

  Most of the time. And I have my bad days, but I really think so much of success is about your attitude that you bring to the table.

• 14:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:53Marie Forleo?

  And you've got to bring it to the table every single day, no matter what stage you're at. And for me, I didn't fully transition into my full-time business. I think like, most people don't know this, like, seven years.

• 15:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 15:04Marie Forleo?

  So when people tell me like, oh, I have this day job and I'm so miserable, I'm like...

• 15:08Lewis Howes?

  Seven years until you're doing what you've been doing now.

• 15:10Marie Forleo?

  Kind of. So, you know, there was a whole period, again, this multi-passionate thing.

• 15:14Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 15:15Marie Forleo?

  When I was starting my coaching practice, I started to recognize that even just calling myself a coach felt limited. And I had this dream of dancing, and I love hip-hop.

• 15:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:25Marie Forleo?

  Never had any formal training in the world. I also loved fitness. So there's a lot of things that I wanted to get involved with, and I realized when I was about 25, I said, if I don't do all of these things right now, I'm going to regret it. I realized that if I take some attention away from coaching, sure, I won't get... There as fast as I would have if I put all my attention there. But it's not my truth.

• 15:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:46Marie Forleo?

  The truth is, I want to dance hip hop.

• 15:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:49Marie Forleo?

  I want to go do some cool things out on the road. I don't care if I'm not making a ton of money or not this quote unquote famous person. I didn't care at all about that. What mattered to me was, am I living the life that I want to live?

• 16:00Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, I love that. I want to talk about mastering the things that you don't like doing along the journey. Like mastering the perfect drink or bartending that shift, like just becoming a master. Because I remember doing some jobs, I'm sure we all had jobs we don't love.

• 16:14Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 16:14Lewis Howes?

  I used to be a truck driver for about three months until I couldn't do it anymore. But I would try to master timing, getting to my location and then getting back and as quick as possible and master like the roads and everything was about mastery.

• 16:28Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 16:28Lewis Howes?

  Even in those little things that I didn't like.

• 16:30Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 16:30Lewis Howes?

  Why is it so important to try to master the things even though we don't like or we're not fully passionate about along the way? Why do you feel like that's important?

• 16:37Marie Forleo?

  I think it's all about quality of life, right? You take you wherever you go. And if in those moments, you're doing a job that you're not really excited about, but you have to be there for eight hours, you have a choice. You're either going to be miserable for eight hours or you're going to engage like a champ.

• 16:53Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 16:54Marie Forleo?

  And you're going to show up and be amazing. And I got to tell you, so many opportunities for me have come from me training myself to show up like a champ wherever I was. So for example, you know, I taught hip hop at Crunch. And did I think I was going to teach hip hop forever? No, but I wanted to be the best hip hop instructor I possibly could be while I was there.

• 17:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:13Marie Forleo?

  And because my classes were filled and because I taught a good class, the higher ups chose me to be someone who auditioned for Nike. You know, and gave me this opportunity. And then I got to be a Nike Elite trainer and travel to Europe and all over the place.

• 17:28Lewis Howes?

  And weren't you the first one or?

• 17:30Marie Forleo?

  I was one of the first four. Yeah. And you know, even when I was bartending in college, because I would do such a good job on this one person's cappuccino, that's how I got my job on the floor of Wall Street.

• 17:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow, really?

• 17:41Marie Forleo?

  Really. Because they were like, you care so much about what you're doing. Like what do you want to do after you graduate? They knew I was a college student. And I said, you know, I'm a finance major. I can't see myself in corporate finance. I can't see myself at a desk, but I don't know what else to do. And they're like, you know what? My brother works on the floor. Give me your resume. So for me, this idea of mastery and showing up like just you own it. The opportunities that can come when you do that, you can't even predict, not to mention how you train yourself as a human being in terms of your own happiness and your own fulfillment. When you show up with that attitude of, "I'm gonna master this, I'm gonna bring my A-game", you feel better, you have more energy. The results are gonna be better. You'll leave your day feeling just incredible rather than miserable.

• 18:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's great. Gratitude is something that I'm a big proponent of, and I know you are as well. Can you speak about the power of gratitude and how it affects everything in our lives?

• 18:34Marie Forleo?

  I think it's the most incredible transformational tool that there is because if we're still alive, we have something to be grateful for. You know, all of us have challenging times in our life. Things go wrong, everything hits the fan. We all feel like failures, we feel frustrated, nothing's going our way, we should probably give up, why are we even here? I don't think there's any human being on the planet that doesn't have those days, and I have them too, where you just wake up and you're like, "Goodness, what is going on? How did all this happen?" And for me, it's the first thing that I go to to start to turn that around internally and ask myself, "Okay, you know what? I feel like crap right now, I wanna cry, everything sucks, but I'm still breathing."

• 19:17Marie Forleo?

  I look around, I'm like, "Okay, roof over my head." I went to the fridge, there's food in the fridge. And I know, because of so much of the work that we do, that there are millions, in fact, a billion people that don't have those basic things, that can't say they have a safe roof over their head, that don't have food in a refrigerator, they don't even have running water. So for me, it's a really great check immediately to say, "Okay, great, I feel like crap, but I got all these things. How can I start to turn this around?" And then I go to one of my other favorites, which is "Everything is figure-outable", that I learned from my mom.

• 19:50Lewis Howes?

  Don't you have that on the wall over here or something?

• 19:51Marie Forleo?

  Yeah, we'll get a shot of that. I do because it's, you know, when you're in a tough spot, what matters is your beliefs and your psychology and what you're gonna do in that moment, no matter what the circumstances are. And for me, that gratitude piece is first because it starts to shift. Everything and then going to everything is figure outable, which is my belief. Helps me get into problem solving mode.

• 20:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:14Marie Forleo?

  And go, okay, whatever the situation is, what do I need to do? What actions do I need to take? Do I need to pick up a phone? Do I need to go out and exercise? Do I need to put on some music? Do I need to just sit and cry? Like, what do I need to do to move myself ahead in a positive, powerful way?

• 20:28Lewis Howes?

  What's your daily routine like then? Do you wake up and express gratitude? Are you meditating?

• 20:33Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 20:34Lewis Howes?

  Are you expressing gratitude throughout the day? You know, what's it like? Are you working out mentally, emotionally? What's your, what's your plan every day?

• 20:41Marie Forleo?

  So, there's a couple of things that I always make sure that I do. But again, I'm someone who ironically, I'm a little bit of a paradox in this sense where I love structure and you know Josh, my fiance, he makes fun of me. He's like, "You're the most organized structured person I've ever met." And I rebel against it.

• 20:56Lewis Howes?

  You want flexibility too, freedom.

• 20:57Marie Forleo?

  At the same time, completely. So meditation always happens. Whether it happens first, second, or third, depends on how I feel. You know, do I need my little cup of mate when I wake up first? Do I need water when I wake up first? Do I just need to like chill for a second when I wake up first? Green juice is another thing that's always fit in there. And then exercise is really, that always depends on the flow. Like depending on what's happening with myself and my business and my creativity. Sometimes it happens in the morning. That's always the ideal time. But there's often times when it doesn't.

• 21:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:27Marie Forleo?

  You know, and it has to either get shifted a little bit later or like, you know, later on this week, I'm going to this like super early morning dance party from like 6 a.m.

• 21:36Lewis Howes?

  I've heard of these, yeah.

• 21:36Marie Forleo?

  To 9 a.m. And I'm like, "This is awesome." So I try and change it up, but the meditation and the green juice and just getting myself really centered and ready for the day, that's what I do. And then in terms of productivity though, the night before, I always make my list for the next day.

• 21:52Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 21:53Marie Forleo?

  Oh my goodness. Because my schedule is such that there's so much variety. So there could be interviews, there could be phone calls, it could be travel, there could be shoots. And if I don't get myself set up the night before... I don't feel like I can dive right into the day with strength and clarity. So I look at all the things that are happening, if there's any outside appointments and all of my tasks, like the important things that need to get done. Those are listed first and then the time is blocked out and then the rest of the day can be awesome.

• 22:21Lewis Howes?

  So would you say setting an intention the night before is really powerful and setting yourself up to win that day?

• 22:26Marie Forleo?

  Yeah, and for me, it's not so much of an intention because I think my DNA is such that I want to just murder it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna just rush this, it's gonna happen and I'm gonna have a good time. But for me, it's actual clarity of like, what are the most important things that need to get done? And what are the things that would be great, but if for whatever reason, life shows up or things have to get moved around, they can move on.

• 22:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think I saw a video of you talking about important and urgent. And to actually focus on doing the important things first.

• 22:58Marie Forleo?

  Always.

• 22:59Lewis Howes?

  Always first and then get to the urgent things later because the urgent things will always...

• 23:03Marie Forleo?

  They'll always get done.

• 23:04Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 23:04Marie Forleo?

  Because if they're really that urgent, you will take care of them. You will. But, you know, in our digital age of so much information coming at us constantly and the way that most of us have habituated ourselves to have our phones ding, to have little alerts come up, to have everything come in, that we trained ourselves to like, you know, hit the refresh button on our email like a little crack addict.

• 23:25Lewis Howes?

  Instagram.

• 23:26Marie Forleo?

  Oh my, it's like, it's insane, but we've done this to ourselves and we have to systematically undo it if we want to actually move the ball ahead on major projects.

• 23:35Lewis Howes?

  So how do we start undoing these things, these habits that aren't serving us or that aren't really moving us forward to achieving our visions?

• 23:42Marie Forleo?

  You know, I think awareness is the first step to any major change. And so you just gotta get real with yourself about your crappy habits. You know what I mean? And be honest about, yeah, I just spent two to three hours getting sucked into Facebook and comparing myself to everyone else and looking at, oh my God, they're doing so much better than I am. And what about this? And I think being honest with yourself and awareness of what you're doing that's not working so that you can replace it with a habit that does. And I mean, that simple practice, if anyone just at the end of their workday, sat down and took a look at, okay, what's the most important thing? Things I need to get done tomorrow and actually time blocked it like, okay.

• 24:19Lewis Howes?

  Schedule it in.

• 24:20Marie Forleo?

  Even like writing that blog post is probably going to take me 30 to 45 minutes. Okay, that's on there. Having a meeting with the team, that's at least another 30 minutes. Writing this brand new whatever, that's an hour. All of a sudden, you'll see your morning is like pretty spoken for.

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:35Marie Forleo?

  You should not be going to email. You should not be taking phone calls and you shouldn't do anything else but those important things.

• 24:41Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, yeah. I'm a big fan of coaches and mentors.

• 24:45Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 24:46Lewis Howes?

  And I feel like my entire athletic career would not have been the way it was without having great coaches. And my years or seasons, I should say, reflected the coaches I had. If I had great coaches, I typically had a great performance or I felt great. When I had coaches that were negative, it was really weighing on me and the results were not as powerful. Who have been your mentors or coaches or influential people along your lifetime? And growing up, I should say, then who are your mentors and coaches now?

• 25:16Marie Forleo?

  You know, growing up, I had some influential people. My parents are amazing human beings. I remember when I was in high school and I was on the cheerleading team, which by the way, I tried out to be a cheerleader. I think, I don't know how many years and I got rejected.

• 25:28Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 25:29Marie Forleo?

  All of them. Oh, yeah. I sucked. I was horrible, but I kept at it until they finally said yes. You know, I figured out what I was doing wrong and got in. And then I went right to being captain, so it paid off.

• 25:39Lewis Howes?

  Nice.

• 25:39Marie Forleo?

  And I remember that my cheerleading coach in high school, she saw how hard I was willing to work. And it really impressed me because she said, you know what? The other girls in the team probably aren't going to like this decision that I move you up to captain. But no one else, I created a whole kind of fitness circuit so everyone could get strong so we could hopefully win a competition. And I would do a lot of the choreography for the team because I love to dance. And so that was really important for me when she rewarded me based on my work. And my work ethic and what I was bringing to the table versus how long I had been on the team and that was very influential. I know in college I had some great, great teachers who just would always challenge my

• 26:22Marie Forleo?

  ideas and help me see things from a broader perspective. And then as a professional, I have like, I always meet great people and I consider myself a lifelong student. I love learning. I always have a stack of books. I'm always hungry to, to learn a new idea or to see a new concept or figure out something that could help myself and help other people. I remember Deepak Chopra was a faraway influence. When I read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, that book totally rocked my world. My yoga teacher who taught me about meditation when I was 17, she was huge. I've always loved Oprah, ever since I was a little girl. So that was the faraway.

• 26:59Lewis Howes?

  Who doesn't love Oprah?

• 27:00Marie Forleo?

  I mean, anyone who doesn't, I'm just, I can't even deal with them. I understand different strokes for different folks, but the folks that are mean to her, I'm just, I don't even understand it. And of course, Tony Robbins, I remember, he was my gateway drug really to the world of personal development. And I was so impressed with who he was and yeah, those are people that I feel like I've always kind of held in my heart and always looked to and admired and really appreciated the work that they do and who they are in the world.

• 27:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Do you have any mentors or coaches right now that you work with on a daily basis or that you hire to support you?

• 27:35Marie Forleo?

  You know, I try and hire people in areas that I really need the help right now. Like where the business is at this moment, we have such a clear vision for where we want to go. Again, I, sometimes I wish there were 48 hours in the day because there's so much that we want to do and I have to hold myself back so I don't work 17, you know, hours every single, every single day. But for example, a lot's changing in the online world right now.

• 28:00Lewis Howes?

  A lot.

• 28:01Marie Forleo?

  Especially in the digital landscape and when you're selling digital learning products. One of the things that's changing are the tax laws, both in Europe and here in the States. So for me, right now, what we're looking at investigating, we're working with different tax attorneys because we want that expertise. But I'm always talking with people. If I have any challenge in the business, I look to go to someone who is a master in the area that I need specific advice in. So while it's not one person.

• 28:28Lewis Howes?

  It's a coach for the moment or for that season.

• 28:30Marie Forleo?

  Exactly. Depending on whatever the challenge or the opportunity is that I really want to leverage or make sure that we're ahead of the game, I try and find the best person that I think that can advise me based on their experience.

• 28:41Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha. Do you think it's valuable for people to have coaches in their life?

• 28:44Marie Forleo?

  Definitely.

• 28:45Lewis Howes?

  To either hire or unofficial mentors or something like that?

• 28:48Marie Forleo?

  I mean, I rely so much on my team and my friends and the people that I love that I think, you know, whether you want to call them a coach or, you know, depending on what vernacular kind of works for you.

• 28:59Lewis Howes?

  Don't need the official.

• 28:59Marie Forleo?

  Yeah, but I do, and I think that, you know, there's nothing wrong with asking for help or saying, you know what, no one in my life really is willing to listen to me about the things that I want to talk about, the business I want to build. So I want someone who's totally focused on me, dedicated, can help me get results. I think it's awesome. I've had that many times in my life. It's just at this particular moment, everything is so full, I feel like I've given myself enough homework.

• 29:23Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 29:24Marie Forleo?

  For the next six to eight months, but I do think they're valuable.

• 29:26Lewis Howes?

  Who gives you the best feedback of what's in the gap for you or what's missing or what's working and what's not working? Does anyone?

• 29:33Marie Forleo?

  You know, that's a really interesting question. We're always listening to feedback in terms of, you know, if our customers have anything to share, like, hey, I think this is missing, or, you know, if someone gives us any kind of criticism. We listen to everything, but I always try and pay attention, and so does the team, about, well, who's saying it? Why? You know, sometimes people want things in business that you don't want to deliver. You know, and oftentimes, I've heard things, people, oh, I wish you would do this, that, and that. It's like, well, that's great if you want to run that business.

• 30:05Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 30:06Marie Forleo?

  That's not the business I want to run.

• 30:07Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 30:08Marie Forleo?

  But in terms of feedback, in that sense, the people I surround myself with are really honest.

• 30:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:16Marie Forleo?

  And if they ever notice me doing something that seems like it's a habit, or if they see something like, hey, Marie, I think you should keep an eye on this, people tell me.

• 30:23Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 30:24Marie Forleo?

  So.

• 30:25Lewis Howes?

  So there's open communication with your team and with your family and friends?

• 30:27Marie Forleo?

  Always. With my friends, everybody.

• 30:29Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 30:30Marie Forleo?

  I think that's why my friendships are always so tight, because I cannot, I really don't have the ability to lie.

• 30:34Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 30:35Marie Forleo?

  And if I'm pissed at someone, or if something is not okay, I will just say it.

• 30:39Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 30:40Marie Forleo?

  I'll say, this doesn't work for me, or this happened, doesn't feel good, and we literally, we go through it, we get over it, and then we move on.

• 30:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Would you say that's the reason you're able to stay so grounded? Or how do you stay grounded? With all that's going on, huge business, tons of customers, people wanting to get your time and attention and emailing you, how do you stay grounded?

• 31:00Marie Forleo?

  I don't know any other way to be. I mean, like, I'm from New Jersey. I know that, like, this is all amazing and it's fun and it's awesome. But I also know that all of us are heading to the same destination, death.

• 31:11Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 31:12Marie Forleo?

  And we don't know when that's gonna come. I sincerely hope I make it to the time where I think in like the 2030s or 2040s, hopefully, medicine is gonna come around and give us an ability to extend a little bit more, which could be awesome or could be a nightmare. Who knows? But, um, but my point is this, it's like, you know, everybody poops. Everybody farts. Ain't nobody better than anyone else. Do you know what I mean? And so I try my very, very best to honor and respect people. I'm also a human being, so I can't pay attention to everything and all the time. And I think one of the dangers in our society, especially for anyone who is a public figure in any kind of small sense, or who has an audience that pays attention to them, you know, I know Gary Vee, who I love and adore and respect.

• 31:57Marie Forleo?

  And, you know, a lot of the things that he talks about always are always responding and always being there and always engaging. And again, I super respect him and I respect that. I'm not able to do that 24/7. I really need a lot of downtime. And I need a lot of time that's just disconnected. And I hope people understand that, because I care. I super duper care. But I can't be on Instagram 24/7. I can't be on Facebook 24/7.

• 32:21Lewis Howes?

  Can't be texting or emailing.

• 32:22Marie Forleo?

  No, it would be a miserable life for me. And I wouldn't want that for anyone.

• 32:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So talk to me about vision. I've always had, uh, big dreams, big visions, but they've shifted over the years. You know, when I was in college, I wanted to be a professional athlete. Uh, and then after that was over, I had to have a new vision. So what's your vision right now and what's the end game for you?

• 32:43Marie Forleo?

  So in terms of the vision right now, it's really about continuing to grow the company. And for us, it's about impact. How can we change more lives? I think one of my gifts in this world is communication and taking sometimes complex ideas and breaking them down into simple, fun communication nuggets and different ways of teaching people things that don't feel overwhelming.

• 33:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:05Marie Forleo?

  And I want to use that gift as much as possible. So creating more products and learning programs that can really help people move the needle ahead in their own life. But more important for me, we really get on fire about our philanthropy component. I know you and I are both really passionate about Pencils of Promise.

• 33:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:22Marie Forleo?

  We've got five schools with them right now.

• 33:23Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 33:24Marie Forleo?

  We have a huge, thank you.

• 33:25Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 33:26Marie Forleo?

  We want to do more. We just have this big partnership with an organization called Sama Source, and it helps lift women out of poverty by teaching them the skills that they need and professional skills to go get dignified work. We're doing a partnership with Save the Children USA because there's all this research that says if you want to take care of poverty, one of the most research-backed effective ways to do that is through early childhood education. And if you can get the moms and get the kids right from birth up until five, the results are dramatic in terms of the fact that they'll stay in school and just the trickle-up effects of how positive that can be. So we're looking at all of the different ways that we can use not only our financial resources, but our community resources to drive awareness and action to making the

• 34:11Marie Forleo?

  world a better place. You know, there's something that I learned from Nick Kristof and Sheryl Wu Don, authors of Half the Sky and A Path Appears. And I read this little phrase in their book, and it really hit home for me, that talent is universal, but opportunity is not.

• 34:27Lewis Howes?

  So how do we make opportunity universal?

• 34:30Marie Forleo?

  Well, that's what we're working on.

• 34:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:32Marie Forleo?

  That's the game plan. I mean, with providing education to kids and Save the Children, the Early Childhood, Early Steps Initiative here in the States, we've funded scholarships. I'm constantly looking at ways to help people have that opportunity to create a better life for themselves because I started realizing, you know, especially in the personal development world, I was finding myself getting really, really upset and really pissed off.

• 34:58Lewis Howes?

  About what?

• 34:58Marie Forleo?

  About... People throwing around phrases like, you know, "Oh, you can just think your way into it and you can, you know, create this wealth and blah, blah, blah." And quite honestly, there are some phrases that earlier on in my career that I said and I believed. And it wasn't until I really started to investigate the state of our planet and the state of humanity and how many people are living on less than a dollar twenty-five a day. It's not about these people not having the right consciousness. Yeah. It's the fact- Because they can think all they want. And there is so much talent that is underutilized because so many of our fellow human beings, they don't even have the basic necessities.

• 35:43Marie Forleo?

  No clean water, no access to healthcare, no nutrition, no safety. And I mean, you and I both know the stats about women and how in so many parts of the world, they're treated not even like human beings, like things. That woke me up and got me so fired up to say, "Well, what can I do to help change this?" And to really start unpacking all the different opportunities that we have. And I consider, you know, people like you and I, many, perhaps not all, the people listening to this podcast today, we've won what Warren Buffett calls "the ovarian lottery." Sheer chance, right, that you and I were born in this country. And I know many of us have had rough childhoods.

• 36:27Marie Forleo?

  We may not have had the easiest roads. However, compared to- Right. -some of the folks who are sharing the planet with us at this very day and time who have nothing. Yeah. No access to clean water, no access to shelter- And no rights. No rights. It's like, that for me, that whole idea that talent is universal, but opportunity is not. That's why when I started to kind of see things floating around in the personal development or transformational world that are about, "Well, they just need to..." It's like, you don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. Other hurdles. There's huge other hurdles. And I think that in order for us to truly- Live the fullness of our potential, it can't just be about us.

• 37:08Marie Forleo?

  And it can't just be about how big is our business gonna get, or how many people in our audience, or any of that stuff. It can't be, there's no real meaning in that. And the things that mean the most to us, and the things that mean the most to me in terms of vision and where we're going, is how can I continue to create more and more impact? How can I continue to get people on board with these ideas and these opportunities to make a difference in a real substantial way?

• 37:34Lewis Howes?

  Why are you so driven to make a big impact in the world and in people's lives? And why is living a life of service such an important thing for all of us to think about and be doing?

• 37:47Marie Forleo?

  I don't think there's anything else that's quite as meaningful. I mean, in my own experience, ever since I was a little girl, I have known that I'm supposed to do something to help others. I didn't really know how that was supposed to look.

• 38:02Lewis Howes?

  Or what?

• 38:03Marie Forleo?

  What that meant. But, you know, as you get older and as you get more experience and as you get exposed to more of the world, you just start to see things. And I think one of the challenges with people in the West, and you know, people that, again, have won the ovarian lottery, we get so self, like sucked up in our own crap that's like nothing compared to these other human beings that are just like us, no one gives a shit.

• 38:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:27Marie Forleo?

  And it's like, if we're not gonna care, who is? We can't rely on the government, we can't rely on somebody else, it's up to us to make these changes. So, I don't know where that comes from, but for me, it's always been a part of who I am, and the more that I learn, the more that I wanna do.

• 38:42Lewis Howes?

  For someone that doesn't feel like they're where they want to be?

• 38:46Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 38:46Lewis Howes?

  In their career, or their finances, their relationships, and isn't living a life of service, maybe isn't giving their time, isn't donating any money, or being a part of something to give back?

• 38:57Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 38:57Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like that's probably one of the major factors in their success? Or in people's success, is if they live a life of service, or have a mindset of service?

• 39:07Marie Forleo?

  I think that it can really help all of us. You know, I know when I first started to get involved in work like this, I used to open my My checkbook and want to cry because there wasn't a lot in there. I was terrified of it.

• 39:18Lewis Howes?

  It's scary sometimes.

• 39:19Marie Forleo?

  Scary. And I remember the first time that I committed, and again, like you said, you know, writing checks and giving money, that's not the only way to do it. I mean, using your voice, using social media, reading about it, contributing your idea capital, or your time, or just your humanity to another human being, like, those are extremely important as well. But I remember the first time that I committed a substantial amount of money. I didn't have that money yet, but I knew that the only way that I was gonna out-train or outsmart my scarcity mindset, because I didn't grow up with a lot of money, my mom grew up in poverty. So I grew up with messages around money that there was never enough.

• 39:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:59Marie Forleo?

  And that it was...

• 40:00Lewis Howes?

  Money doesn't grow on trees.

• 40:01Marie Forleo?

  It was scarce, and like, all I remember, my parents actually got divorced over a lack of money. So I associated not having enough money with pain, a ton of pain, and losing love. And I made a decision when I was eight, I said, "I'm gonna grow up and make enough so that it never takes away love again."

• 40:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Marie Forleo?

  And I remember when I started noticing those same kind of bad money ideas in my head popping up, and I looked at my checkbook and it was horrible. There's not enough in there, and I said, "I need to do this because I know my internal truth says there's always more where that came from, in terms of money, but I'm not living that yet. So I need to start acting what I know to be true, even though my mind is terrified." And it was this first commitment, and I wound up donating a couple of thousand dollars to an organization called Girl Up. It was a UN Foundation initiative about empowering the 600 million adolescent girls throughout the developing world that get married off, forced into marriage by the time they're like eight to 12. They are pregnant 12 to 13.

• 41:03Marie Forleo?

  Sometimes they get HIV, they don't even make it sometimes to 18. I mean, it's horrendous. Anyway, I wound up donating this amount of money. There was a ceremony, and when I had got off of stage with that ceremony, a person from Richard Branson's team was in the audience and was very interested in my story and who I was and what I was doing. And that's how I wound up getting to meet Richard and spending time with him in South Africa. So when you come to this question of... Is giving back or being of service or having that mindset, could that help you? I know it helped me. It helped me in so many ways. It helped train me out of the ideas of scarcity. It helped teach me what I'm capable of. It helped me know that I am so much more than my thoughts.

• 41:47Marie Forleo?

  And I think it does change people's lives in very, very profound ways. And it's a great place to look.

• 41:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. You mentioned how, you know, money has created a lot of pain for you with relationships and potentially losing love.

• 42:01Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 42:02Lewis Howes?

  Without having enough money.

• 42:03Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 42:04Lewis Howes?

  So can we talk about love and relationships and vision?

• 42:08Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 42:08Lewis Howes?

  For a second?

• 42:09Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 42:09Lewis Howes?

  Because I've asked this question to a lot of big male leaders.

• 42:13Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 42:13Lewis Howes?

  And ask them, do they think it's possible to have, to live a huge vision and be going after inspiring the whole world, giving back, doing everything they're doing, and have a meaningful, intimate, loving relationship or marriage?

• 42:27Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 42:28Lewis Howes?

  And do you think it's possible to live such a big mission in life and have a successful, I guess, quote unquote, "successful, meaningful" relationship as well?

• 42:36Marie Forleo?

  So, it's an interesting question, and I think, A, yes, it is possible. But here's the thing. I think you almost have to separate the two, and here's why. When you look at relationship in life and love relationships and intimacy, no matter what you're doing in the world, you know, whether you've got some big mission or business or vision or you're constantly traveling, or you happen to have a life that's very simple, and you know, you like that life, you love that life. You're working set hours, you don't have a big mortgage, you know what I mean? It's just simple. There's always gonna be challenges in relationships because human beings are complex.

• 43:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:11Marie Forleo?

  It's not easy.

• 43:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Marie Forleo?

  So, I think you almost have to look at them a little bit differently and know that, A, every relationship is not meant to last, and because a relationship ends, doesn't mean it failed. You know, when a relationship comes to an end, it might mean that you've come together, you've learned all you can possibly learn from one another, and it's actually time for both of you to move on.

• 43:33Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 43:34Marie Forleo?

  For me, that doesn't mean that it was a failure. It just means you're on to your next adventure. So that's that little piece of it.

• 43:41Lewis Howes?

  Interesting, I like that.

• 43:41Marie Forleo?

  And every single relationship has a beginning, middle, and an end. And how we each define success is so different.

• 43:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:49Marie Forleo?

  You know, is a relationship successful if you stay together 65 years, but you don't have sex, there's no intimacy, and you kind of hate each other? Or is a relationship successful if you've only been together for a year and it's been dynamic and beautiful, but you've outgrown each other and you're ready to move on?

• 44:02Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 44:02Marie Forleo?

  What makes a relationship successful? So I think there's a lot to unpack there. And I think being willing to challenge the definition of success and also being willing to define that for yourself is really, really vital. And then in terms of the challenges that come, when you have two busy people,

• 44:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:22Marie Forleo?

  when there's people going around and there's lots of travel, I think, again, it's about how do you co-create what you define to be a successful relationship with your individual partner? There's going to be some people who love spending that much time apart because, you know what? Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

• 44:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:38Marie Forleo?

  So they don't mind it. And there's going to be other people who find that, I can't tolerate it. I've got to be with you 24/7. This is never going to work. So that's why I think that it's really important not to just lump everything together.

• 44:51Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 44:52Marie Forleo?

  And to take a little bit more of an investigative approach and be willing to define your version of relationship success. Like for me, you know, Josh, who I love so much, he's an actor. There's points in his career where he's traveling all over the place. He's working like super early in the morning and it goes into a night shoot, and we could be like ships passing in the night.

• 45:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:13Marie Forleo?

  And for us, it works because we understand and love each other in such a way where we get what we signed up for.

• 45:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:21Marie Forleo?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 45:21Lewis Howes?

  I get it, yeah.

• 45:22Marie Forleo?

  And it doesn't mean that we don't have our own little things from time to time, but we're committed to working it out and we're committed to each other. And we've often, I always say this, and it's like... Our relationship is not going to last forever. You know, either we're going to part at some point, or he's going to die, or I'm going to die, or both of us are going to die. Like, it's not going to last forever. None of them are. So how can you have as much fun as possible in the meantime?

• 45:45Lewis Howes?

  I saw a quote online. Someone said the other day, said, "The scary thing about relationships is you're either going to break up or getting married. There's one of two things that are going to happen. It either ends or you get married. And both of those are terrifying for some people."

• 45:59Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 46:00Lewis Howes?

  Does it have to be painful when it ends? Because you said it's always going to end.

• 46:04Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 46:04Lewis Howes?

  Does it have to be painful? And how does someone navigate through the end of a relationship?

• 46:09Marie Forleo?

  You know, I think that we're human beings, and sadness and heartbreak are, they're tough.

• 46:15Lewis Howes?

  But it can be a good thing, too.

• 46:16Marie Forleo?

  Well, it can be bittersweet. I mean, I think we've all had our heart broken. We've all been in places where a relationship has come to an end, and we didn't want it, or they didn't want it, and you feel guilty. You know, there are so many different variations of that, where it's certainly not comfortable. It's not easy.

• 46:33Marie Forleo?

  Did you ask, how can we navigate that?

• 46:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Marie Forleo?

  You know, I think the whole key to navigating any sort of emotional pain is, A, you've got to admit that it's there, and not try and be beyond it already. And also, on the flip side, not overindulge and get so dramatic. Where you're like, "I'm going to die." You're not going to die. You're going to be fine. But I think giving yourself permission to actually feel the full range of sadness, of loneliness, of heartbreak, letting yourself cry, letting yourself actually process those very real emotions. And then, when you're ready to say, "Okay, what's next for me? What do I want? Do I want some time by myself? Do I want to experience different people? Meaning, just have friendships, and maybe more, but I want to just give myself some space." And I think taking control of that consciousness, and knowing, we came into this earth by ourselves, we're going to likely leave by ourselves. And whatever happens in between,

• 47:21Marie Forleo?

  how can you bring as much grace, and love, and humility, and openness to it as possible? I think it's the best chance we got.

• 47:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I like that answer. You have such an incredible brand. You have such an incredible business. The content you put out there is so on point.

• 47:37Marie Forleo?

  Thank you.

• 47:37Lewis Howes?

  And it's so fun, and it's got your personality. Is there anything that you are struggling with that maybe your audience or the world doesn't know about that might surprise people?

• 47:49Marie Forleo?

  I think the thing that I struggle with the most is having so many things that I want to create and put out into the world and never feeling like I can do it fast enough. Like, I always have to check myself, always have to check myself of like, "Gosh, I want that done yesterday." Like, I wish all five of these things were created two years ago. And matching that with the reality of like time-space continuum, the fact that I'm one person, and also enough experience in business to know I know how to do things right, which is, you know, thank you, by the way, for everything that you shared. And in terms of putting out great content and creating great programs and everything that we do, the reason that most people have that experience is because we do take our time.

• 48:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:35Marie Forleo?

  And because we're not slapping things together and because we're not willy-nilly and just trying to get something out the door. So for me, the struggle is always an internal one of how can I grow, how can I create faster, how can I make these things happen, and not beat myself up that I'm not there yet.

• 48:51Lewis Howes?

  What would you say are the top two or three things that are necessary to have a successful business online or even offline? Again, you said you take the time to do things to make it really well. One of the things that I talk about with, in regards to what you do really well with other people, I always refer you, is that you're so consistent. And for the last four years, since I've known you, it's like you've done the same thing every week for the last four years. Marie TV, you know it's coming out every week. You got one product launch that comes out every year at the same time. Consistency is what I would say is one thing that you do really well. But what are maybe two or three things that are the key to running a very successful business?

• 49:31Marie Forleo?

  Great question. And I will back this up with one thing that sometimes people don't realize about me because they've sort of gotten to know me over these past four years, is that previous to, you know, B-School every year and previous to Marie TV, I had like a whole library of information products. And some of them were physical. And I did a live event and a mentorship program.

• 49:50Lewis Howes?

  Dating book.

• 49:51Marie Forleo?

  I mean, all this other stuff. And we really went through the simplification process, which helped a lot with consistency. But in terms of other things... I think really finding the right people around you.

• 50:02Lewis Howes?

  So important.

• 50:03Marie Forleo?

  Even if it's one person, you know, one assistant or one team player that gets the culture of your company, that is on board with your vision, what you stand for, that is excited to help you bring it to life. I think, you know, none of us can do anything that we do on our own and we really need to find strong team players. And it takes a while. This isn't easy. I wish there was like two simple tips. Everyone would do them.

• 50:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:26Marie Forleo?

  But finding the right people on your team, I think that's really, really huge. In terms of other things, and that's something you can kind of control and not control to a certain degree. You can control it in the sense of you can take actions and keep searching for that person, but you can't make them show up any faster than they show up.

• 50:42Lewis Howes?

  It took me about four years to really find the team that I feel like, okay, now we're grooving.

• 50:46Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 50:46Lewis Howes?

  Of hiring, firing, testing, trying people out, you know, it takes three to six months. I'm like, oh, it's not working.

• 50:51Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 50:52Lewis Howes?

  And it's a challenge sometimes.

• 50:53Marie Forleo?

  Yep.

• 50:53Lewis Howes?

  But I think that's one of the key things for sure is having a team. So thanks for sharing that.

• 50:57Marie Forleo?

  Yep, having the team. I also think being really clear, you know, when you talk about, well, what can someone do to make sure they have a successful online or offline business? As much as you can clarify your vision of what success looks like to you.

• 51:11Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 51:12Marie Forleo?

  So don't worry about what success looks like for Lewis Howes or Marie Borli or anyone else that you might admire. I think it's really about how do you define success? You know, one of my first benchmarks was, oh my goodness, I just want to have a hundred thousand dollar business. That was more money than I could ever imagine making and it felt so far away. How was I going to do that? But I knew that was one of the criteria. And I also knew that I wanted my products to, you know, feel a certain way with my customers. I wanted them to be so delighted and surprised and just feel like they got 10 times whatever value they invested. So the second thing would be knowing your vision of success, even if it's just 12 months out, even if it's 18 months out.

• 51:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:52Marie Forleo?

  Can you define what that looks like for you so that you can get some team player on board? Who wants to go in the same direction that you want to go?

• 52:00Marie Forleo?

  In terms of your customer experience, how do you want your customers to experience your product or your brand? And really defining that, what are the words that describe the feelings that they're going to feel when they experience what you do? How do you want them to talk about you in the world? How, you know, all of these things to kind of really start defining that experience. I think a lot of us can get so wrapped up in what we think our products should be, or what we want to create without thinking of what's the impact we want to have on that other person we're here to serve.

• 52:29Lewis Howes?

  And what do you want people to say about you and your products?

• 52:32Marie Forleo?

  I want them to have tangible results in their lives. Meaning like they've watched a Marie TV episode, they've done B-School, they've interacted with any other of our programs that are going to be coming out, which is exciting. And really go, that moved the needle ahead for me. I created X, Y, and Z. And I also want them to feel loved and taken care of. We go to such great lengths to have people feel safe, to let them know we're not here like just to take their money. That we're so invested in creating outstanding educational products that create outrageous results in people's lives and that they have fun doing them. So if I can make them laugh along the way and have them have a good time.

• 53:13Lewis Howes?

  Which you do a lot of the time.

• 53:13Marie Forleo?

  Thank you. Then I feel like I've done my job.

• 53:15Lewis Howes?

  Couple of final questions. One that came up for me just when you were speaking about that is comparing yourself with other people.

• 53:21Marie Forleo?

  Yeah.

• 53:22Lewis Howes?

  And I think, you know, I do this and I know a lot of people that I coach that are going through my programs, they're always comparing, well, Marie's got a YouTube show, so I should have a YouTube show. Or they've got a podcast, so I need to launch a podcast. It's always comparing. How do we get out of the comparison game? And how do we focus on knowing when to adopt someone else's strategies to our own?

• 53:44Marie Forleo?

  Sure.

• 53:44Lewis Howes?

  But also not saying, I've got to compare myself or I'm not making the type of money they're making, so I'm not good enough. Like, how do we navigate that?

• 53:50Marie Forleo?

  So, this is funny. We did a Marie TV on this not so long ago and I likened it to, in college, I remember, I was quite a bit of a party girl in college.

• 53:59Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 53:59Marie Forleo?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:00Lewis Howes?

  I can't see that.

• 54:01Marie Forleo?

  Oh, my God.

• 54:02Lewis Howes?

  You like to dance, what?

• 54:03Marie Forleo?

  I like to dance and I didn't drink at all in high school, but in college, I just was like, well, this is what you do in college.

• 54:09Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 54:10Marie Forleo?

  And I remember there was this nasty drink called Goldschlager. And I don't know if you know what this, it's terrible. It is so disgusting.

• 54:18Lewis Howes?

  It's like a Jägerbomb or something?

• 54:19Marie Forleo?

  It's like syrupy, liquidy, and it had like, like these gold flickers in it. It was so nasty. Anyway, I liken comparing yourself to other people like doing shots of compare schlagger. You ain't ever gonna feel good. It's disgusting. You know what I mean? You pour that bottle, you take a shot, you're basically wiping yourself out for at least a day, if not two days, if not a week, or if you go far enough down the hole and you're like, just drank the whole bottle, you'll do something like what you said, say, "Oh, they've got a show, or they've got a podcast, I'm gonna do that," and then six months later, you're like, "What the hell am I doing? This isn't even what I want to be doing."

• 54:54Lewis Howes?

  You lose your identity.

• 54:54Marie Forleo?

  Completely. So, you gotta put down the bottle of compare schlagger. Like, just don't even pick it up. You gotta go cold turkey. Which means, if you're following certain people and you know that somehow you get triggered into comparison by that person, even if that person's amazing, stop following them.

• 55:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:12Marie Forleo?

  Take them off your Twitter stream.

• 55:13Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 55:13Marie Forleo?

  Take them off your Facebook. It's like, why are you gonna tempt yourself?

• 55:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:17Marie Forleo?

  Stay focused on what you want, and I think it comes back to what we shared before. If you have a clear vision for what success looks like to you, that's not completely influenced by all these other people you're comparing yourself to, it's so much easier to stay in your own game.

• 55:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:33Marie Forleo?

  Stay in your own game. You gotta just stop at cold turkey. And you know it. Everybody knows it. You can feel the finger going on the computer, like when you're about to go type in something that you know is like doing a shot, right?

• 55:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:44Marie Forleo?

  And even if it pops up in your feed, you didn't look for it, but it shows up, it's, you have to treat yourself like an addict, and you have to shut it down immediately and like, go work on your own thing.

• 55:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I like that. Before I ask you the final two questions.

• 55:57Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 55:58Lewis Howes?

  Simple questions. I wanna just take a moment to acknowledge your incredible gifts, because I don't think you get acknowledged enough.

• 56:05Marie Forleo?

  Oh.

• 56:05Lewis Howes?

  And I know you are just so committed to giving to the world, and I wanna acknowledge you for being consistent and putting yourself on the line every week, putting yourself out there to criticism and to people trying to bring you down, or whatever it may be, but you've just done an incredible job since I've known you over the last four years, and I wanna acknowledge you for having a huge heart, giving back, and just loving every step along the way. It's so refreshing and amazing, and I appreciate you for that.

• 56:34Marie Forleo?

  Thanks, Louis.

• 56:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 56:36Marie Forleo?

  So sweet. Hugging on Louis.

• 56:39Lewis Howes?

  What are you most grateful for right now is the second to last question.

• 56:43Marie Forleo?

  Second to last question. I'm really, I'm grateful for everything. I know it can sound so friggin' trite, but I know this morning I was sitting there, Josh was in bed and I had Kuma, my little dog.

• 56:52Lewis Howes?

  I love your dog.

• 56:53Marie Forleo?

  And he, like, we're sitting there, we're drinking tea and I'd just gotten back because I had a blowout because I knew we were hanging out today and, you know, I love me and my blowouts.

• 57:00Lewis Howes?

  Well, it's great, by the way.

• 57:02Marie Forleo?

  And I was just like, thank you. And, um, and, and hair is real. I can't even tell you how many times people, they just like...

• 57:07Lewis Howes?

  Really? They ask for his extensions?

• 57:08Marie Forleo?

  Well, you don't even know. I have friends of friends, I just gotta tell you this because it's really funny.

• 57:11Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 57:12Marie Forleo?

  A really good friend of mine, her sister watches the show and is like, "You gotta tell Marie she's doing an amazing job, but I have to say something. Tell her the extensions lately, they're just a little too much." And my friend was like, "That's actually her hair, dude." Like, it's, I know her, it's all her hair.

• 57:26Lewis Howes?

  Can I feel it to make sure?

• 57:27Marie Forleo?

  You can. You can pull, you can pull on it.

• 57:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow, I don't feel anything in there? No, it's, wow, it's really nice.

• 57:32Marie Forleo?

  I'm Italian. I mean, I have, I have hairy arms. Like, don't, don't hate on me because of this, because, you know, a lot of hair goes, a lot of shaving needs to happen. Anyway, I really am grateful for everything. Like, this morning when I was sitting there with Josh and Kuma and having my mate and thinking I would get to see you because I haven't seen you in a while. And just really grateful to be alive and so happy that way back in that day when I thought about being a life coach and it sounded corny to myself. I was rolling my eyes at myself. I was like, "Who the hell's gonna hire a 23-year-old life coach?" So grateful that I made that decision back then. I, when I meditate, I do kind of do a round of gratitude.

• 58:12Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 58:13Marie Forleo?

  I go around in a circle and for my parents and my brother and my team and everybody in my life. And I, I try and like ping out gratitude to all the people I can think of and then extend it to our larger audience and extend it to all the people in the world. I do that often because I just feel incredibly fortunate. And that's part of the reason why I want to help other people because I, I do feel really blessed and I feel that it's my responsibility that if I have this gift of communication, whether people find me annoying or they find me entertaining, and I have an ability to teach and, and to lead, that I need to use this while I'm here. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be here, hopefully for a really long time, but I wanna squeeze every single drop out of my life as I can. So those are...

• 58:58Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 58:59Marie Forleo?

  Pretty much everything.

• 58:59Lewis Howes?

  And we don't know when our last moment is.

• 59:01Marie Forleo?

  No.

• 59:02Lewis Howes?

  Final question.

• 59:03Marie Forleo?

  Yes.

• 59:03Lewis Howes?

  It's, what is your definition of greatness?

• 59:06Marie Forleo?

  My definition of greatness is showing up in every single moment like you're meant to be there and also that you're willing to listen to the call of your soul and speak from that place in every moment, that you don't back down, that you use your voice, that you stand up for what you believe in and that you live to the fullest of your potential as best as you possibly can every single day.

• 59:35Speaker 00

  Marie Forleo, thanks for coming on.

• 59:36Marie Forleo?

  Thank you.

• 59:37Speaker 00

  I appreciate it. Thank you so much.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  And there you have it guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed connecting with Marie and learning more about how she's become so successful in her life and her career, with her relationships and her business. It's been incredible to watch and such a fun journey to see her where she is now. I'm super happy for her and couldn't be more excited for her success. Make sure to check out the show notes again at lewishouse.com/139 and there's gonna be a link for B-School. You're gonna have the link for the videos you can watch from this interview. So hopefully you guys enjoyed this episode. Again, if you did, make sure to watch the video, post the link lewishouse.com/139 with your friends online. Share it with

• 1:00:25Speaker 00

  someone if they're want to learn more about Marie, if they want to take their business and life to the next level, make sure to share this link with a friend. Email it to them, share it on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, wherever you want to share it and let people know about Marie and about her inspiring message. You guys are incredible. Again, want to give a quick shout out to our sponsor of today's episode over at onnit.com. That's O-N-N-I-T.com. If you're looking to take your health and your mind to the next level, they've got the best foods and supplements and equipment on the planet. And if you use the checkout code greatness, you get 10% off on all supplements. So again, make sure to check them out if

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  you want to have more energy, if you want to feel better, if you want to have more focus, you want to check out onnit.com with all their supplements, foods and equipment. Thank you guys again so much for coming on today. We've got some great guests coming up like we always do. We've got Jack Canfield coming up here soon. We've also got the Dancing with the Stars winner, multiple time winner, actress, singer, dancer, celebrity, Julianne Hough coming on. We had a great interview here recently and we actually do a little bit of salsa dancing together on video. So I'm going to be giving you guys updates on that. Make sure to subscribe to the podcast over on iTunes, on SoundCloud, on Stitcher, everywhere you can subscribe to it online.

• 1:01:50Speaker 00

  And keep spreading the word of greatness. You guys are the reason why this has been so powerful and why we're getting 700,000 downloads a month right now. So please continue to keep it up. You inspire me to keep reaching for guests like Marie and Jack Canfield and Tony Robbins. It's because of you we're able to get those guests on because of the distribution. So thank you all so very much. I hope you have a blessed and incredible day. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.