113 The Secrets Behind Goal-Setting That Turn Dreams Into Reality with Michael Hyatt

"You've got to get clear on the what before you address the question of how." - Michael Hyatt If you enjoyed this episode and would like to sign up for MIchael's 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever course, visit www.lewishowes.com/113 for show notes and more. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 113 with Michael Hyatt.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. I'm excited to introduce you to today's guest. He's a friend of mine and his name is Mr. Michael Hyatt. Now, Michael is a top rated blogger on leadership, personal development, productivity and platform building at MichaelHyatt.com, where he has over half a million monthly readers. He's got a massive following on Twitter and Facebook, and he's an all around amazing guy. I'm very excited about this. We had an incredible interview and I am just jazzed to get you guys going because we're talking about how to have your best year ever. And Michael's got a program that we'll have linked up here where you can get some free videos and some great content

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  about how to create the vision and the process for having your best year ever. Now, it doesn't matter if you're in transition for a job or you're moving from one thing to the next, or you just have uncertainty about your future, or it's the beginning of the year. This is a great time whenever you're reassessing anything in your life on where you are to where you want to be. We talk a lot about goal setting and if traditional goal setting works and why it doesn't work. We talk about why people get stuck and why they give up. We talk about how to effectively set goals that actually work. We talk about the secret to happiness with goal setting and we show you how to make all of your dreams come true. It's a, it's a very fun interview and I think you guys are going to get a lot out of this.

• 1:58Lewis Howes?

  So do me a favor, make sure to get a pen and paper out or take some mental notes and, or, or write it down whenever you get a chance. But this is going to be some great information here. Also make sure to check.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Check out all of the show notes. I'll have links to Michael's program where you can get all the videos and the content that he's talking about at LewisHowes.com/113. So go make sure to check out all the show notes there. And I'm very excited to introduce you guys now to the one and only Mr. Michael Hyatt.

• 2:33Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about today's guest. His name is Mr. Michael Hyatt. How are you doing, Michael?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I'm doing great, Lewis. Thanks for having me on.

• 2:43Lewis Howes?

  Of course, yeah. We connected a few years ago at actually a, I think through Stu potentially, it was at Inc. We did like an Inc. Mastermind at their like headquarters or something in New York City and it's been fun watching you and connecting with you ever since and being a supporter of all the things you do. So I'm excited to have you on and talk about what you're up to right now.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Well, thank you so much. I enjoyed getting acquainted with you at that same mastermind. That was a lot of fun. I took a lot away from that, that session.

• 3:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. And I want to talk about actually masterminds at some point here, but I want to talk about, you know, we're getting ready for the new year. And a lot of people, this is when they reassess their visions, their dreams, where they're at, what they want. You've got a program that's actually called Five Days to Your Best Year Ever. And I want to talk about, you know, so many of us go through setting goals every year, whether it be their health or their relationships, or, you know, a lot of relationships either break up or they actually, you know, get married. They like take action around the holidays, it seems like. And why is it that so many of us, I've got a lot of questions for you here, but this one's the first one off the top of my head. Why is it that so many of us

• 3:54Lewis Howes?

  are, it's so challenging to stay consistent with what our vision is at the beginning of the year throughout the very end? Why is that so challenging for us?

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think a couple of reasons, Lewis. I think that first of all, we probably don't have a disciplined process for doing it, you know, nobody really taught us how to set goals. Maybe we picked it up from a few books here and there or a podcast here and there. But we just kind of write these vague aspirations down and, and we don't really have any accountability built in. And most importantly, we don't have a systematic review process, so the goals don't stay visible. So we just lose sight of them and we get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent. And the urgent is what takes over our lives and we lose sight of the important. So we've, we've got to have a process for keeping them visible if we're going to be successful.

• 4:38Lewis Howes?

  How do we create that process?

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Well, I think there's a couple of different ways. One, and I mean, I just, I'm very practical in terms of what tools I use, but I have, and just to geek out for a second, I create each goal in an Evernote note. And then I have an index and another note that has a link to all those goals. And I have about seven to 10 every year. And so then I have that as a shortcut on my Evernote sidebar so that I can click into that every day and review those goals so that I can see them. You know, just keeping, just keeping those present or being present to the goal and reminding myself of what I said at the beginning of the year was important. And there's no rule that says you can't revise them as you go on. But to keep the, the, the main thing, the main thing, and to do that at

• 5:22Speaker 02

  the beginning of the day, and then to populate my calendar and my task list with the actions that will move me towards those goals. That's, that to me is kind of the crux of it. That's the, kind of the bottom line for how, how I keep those visible and keep working toward a, uh, the goal.

• 5:36Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. Now, you know, I set, you know, goals every year and I have a vision for my whole life of what I want to achieve. My, my purpose, my mission is to serve 100 million people to learn how to make a full-time living around doing what they love the most. And that's what I'm up to. So I make a decision based on what I do, if it serves that mission throughout the year. And like you said, you know, things shift and evolve and change and, you know, goals might be different as you go along. But, you know, when opportunities do come our way, you know, say we've got five main things we want to accomplish this next year or any year. And when new opportunities come our way, that could actually accelerate our purpose or our mission or our vision, you know, what do we do then when it's like, okay, well now I've got these new opportunities and always some opportunity coming my way.

• 6:20Lewis Howes?

  And the more successful I become, there's more opportunities. So how do we stay on track and know when to shift our goals?

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is the challenge of being successful, right? I mean, you know, all of a sudden, the opportunities that you would have killed for two years ago are now distractions to you accomplishing that big, very audacious goal. And so I think you do have to have a filter and, and your filter is wonderful. The fact that you've got a mission and a purpose statement, you've got a way to filter those opportunities out. I tend to be the kind of guy that, you know, I'm, I'm easily distracted by the shiny new thing. Like, uh, today I'm supposed to be preparing a webinar for next week, but I had another idea this morning that sounded actually like more fun to work. So it's everything I can do to stay focused on getting the webinar done and set that aside. But you know, I think we have to run it through the filter. We've got to evaluate that opportunity.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  But oftentimes, that's to me where it helps having a team. Because when I can go to my team and say, hey, look, I've got this opportunity. What do you think? They usually have a little more distance from the person who's making the request. And they may be less emotionally engaged with it. So they could be more objective and they can say, you know, hey, what about this other goal we said we're gonna do? You know, we can't do everything, so we've got to choose. So what's the most important goal now?

• 7:37Lewis Howes?

  I like that. And why is this time of year, New Year's, the beginning of the year, the best time to make these new goals? Why don't people just do it every month and stay consistent throughout the year? Why now?

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think this is kind of a natural time. I mean, certainly you can do it throughout the year, but I think there are at least three reasons why this is the best time of year to make that kind of significant change. And it's because the holidays are just a natural time when we refocus on faith and family and the things that are more the ultimate values, you know, the bigger story that we so often lose in the midst of our little stories during the year. So it's a natural time to reflect on what's gone on previously and to see, you know, did we accomplish what we wanted to achieve? And, you know, what were those magic moments in this last year? And what do they mean and all that? Then I think once we get kind of past the holidays and now we're into New Year's, you know, it's just a natural time when we start thinking about the future.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  It's a natural time to plan because for us right now, 2015 is a white canvas. You know, they have a few things on the calendar. We may have some commitments that we've made, but it's still a white canvas that we can paint on. And then I think it's also a time when we tend to slow down, unless you're in retail. But if you're not, it's, you know, it's a time to slow down so we can get the headspace to finally think about what really matters to us. So often through the year, we've been drifting or we've been caught in the current and we've been subject to everybody else's agenda. But this is a time to rethink and really ask, what do I want? What I want out of life, am I getting toward what's important to me? Or am I drifting further away from it?

• 9:18Lewis Howes?

  Well, let me ask you that question. What really matters to you and what is it that you really want?

• 9:22Speaker 02

  Well, for me, it's a couple of things and you said something that was very near and dear to my heart. And that is that, you know, I have a plan that addresses every area of my life. I don't think you can succeed at business without winning at life. At least you can't sustain it.

• 9:38Lewis Howes?

  Amen.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  If you do one without the other, you're going to eventually blow up. You know, you may blow up your most important relationships or your health completely deteriorates. And I've watched people do that, especially in the corporate world where I came from. A lot of executives that were putting in 78 hours a week, but they had horrible marriages or their kids were just, you know, in rebellion or estranged from them. Their health was a mess, all of that. So to me, the just the vision, like you were saying earlier, the vision of having a life where I can can absolutely kill it in my business and I want to do that. And I've doubled my business every year for the last three years. But I don't want to do that at the expense of my family. I've been married for 36 years. I am more in love with my wife today than I've ever been.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  I have a great relationship and I have five daughters, four son in laws, a bunch of grandkids. And those relationships are really important. So that's not gonna, I'm not gonna drift to great relationships. I've got to, I've got to have intention, be deliberate, set goals and make sure that each of those areas is getting the attention it deserves.

• 10:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Now I want to ask you a personal question about this because you've got five, you say five daughters, right?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Five daughters, yeah.

• 10:49Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing. That's amazing. And five grandsons, right?

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:54Lewis Howes?

  Three granddaughters. So you've been around, you've experienced a little bit of life here. 36 years of marriage. Now here's my question. I've asked this to a number of high performing, you know, individuals on the show before. Do you believe it's possible? Well, I think I know your answer, but do you believe it's possible to have such a massive vision in the world? That's like huge, right? Huge vision to inspire and change the world and also have a healthy, loving, intimate, vulnerable, connected relationship, marriage or any type of relationship long term. Is that possible?

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Absolutely. But I think it takes huge awareness, self-awareness.

• 11:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Huge emotional intelligence and the ability to be corrected, to stay humble and be corrected. I mean, I cannot tell you how many times my wife has sat me down in our den. And said with love, but concern, look, your life is out of balance. You're not giving the things, the attention that I know you want to. And I really want to help you and I love you dearly, but I'm just telling you, I'm just, I'm just waving a flag here. And that's been hugely helpful to me. And I haven't seen that as something that was a negative. I may have reacted in the moment like, you know, said, well, gosh, don't you realize we just acquired this company?

• 12:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  Through this and, but the problem is for most of us, we have just a way of letting the temporary turn into the permanent. If we're not careful and we lie to ourselves. So we've got to have those truth tellers in our lives. And usually they're the people that are closest to us that see us, you know, behind backstage, behind the curtain. They can really speak into our lives. And if we don't allow ourselves or allow them to do that, we're just really kind of shooting ourselves in the foot long term.

• 12:41Lewis Howes?

  Has there ever been a moment, and maybe this is too personal, but has there been a moment in your marriage where you felt like, you know what? It's, it's not possible, like I'm up to a big things and you know, we're not meshing or she's not understanding. We're not understanding each other and I don't think it's going to work out.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll tell you a funny story. So we'd been married about five years. My wife's name is Gail and man, I was working like 70 hours a week. I was, you know, early on in my career, I was crushing it. I was being promoted. I thought, oh my gosh, you know, I want to be the CEO of this company and it may take 10 years, but I'm totally committed to that. I was head down, totally focused. Meanwhile, we're having kids and she's up to her eyeballs just trying to manage all that. As I said, we had five daughters. In fact, we had five under the age of 10 at one point. So, but about five years in, we had two and, and she was just like, I felt like she was just kind of demanding. You know, she wanted me to actually spend time with her and, and pay attention to her occasionally.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  And I mean, it's actually very reasonable, but you're just too needy. And I think you need to get into therapy and figure out what this.

• 13:50Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  So this is how brazen I was. So I, so I send her to therapy thinking, okay, great. You know, I've dispatched that. I've got that fixed. That's going to be okay in a while. Now get back to work. Well, after about five weeks into this, Louis, she comes to me and she says, Dr. Panda Becker, who was her counselor, has requested that you come to our next session, or my next session. And I said, what do you mean? I mean, what's this have to do with me? You know, this, you're the one that's the one. And what do I need to come for? So I go to this counseling session and honestly, I was really nervous. Because I was, I was scared that I was about to be outed.

• 14:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  And that's exactly what happened.

• 14:29Lewis Howes?

  Right, sure.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  So he says to me, you know, he makes the initial casual conversation and then he says to me, he says, so Michael, why do you think it is that you're so driven? So, I mean, honestly, I like teared up.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  And I didn't know. And, and honestly, that began a quest for me. That took about 20 years to answer that question.

• 14:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  And I feel like I'm peeling the onion back. I get new information on it all the time. But I don't, I don't want to live my life being either drifting or being driven. I want to live it out of design. And, and that's the beauty of goal setting and being intentional about what you want to create with the entirety of your life. But that was the beginning of, of really, I think, rescuing our relationship from what would have ended in a divorce. Because if I would have been my wife in that situation, I wouldn't put up with that for a minute. She was, she was patient and worked with me. And I think over time, I've, I've gotten better and having a lot of kids has helped. But boy, it, it almost came off the rails.

• 15:36Lewis Howes?

  Wow, interesting. That's, that's, that's pretty incredible. I didn't know that. So what was that thing that you discovered over 20 years that, why you were so driven?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay. So this gets really personal. But I'm going to answer the question. I never talked about this publicly until I spoke at the World Domination Summit this last summer. And the reason for it was that I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. And I'm not saying it was his fault, but I'm just giving you the context. And what happened to me in that context was that there were a couple of times when I found my dad just passed out, picked him up off the sidewalk, drug him into the house. And one time in particular, I laid him on the sofa and I was just kind of disgusted by the whole thing. Very frustrated, very angry, and I just made this silent vow. Deep in my heart, it was an unconscious vow, but I said, I will never be like that.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  And that became the driving force of my life for decades. Where I just said, you know, I was, I was going to be in control. I was going to have money. I was going to be successful. I was not going to be at the mercy of alcohol or anything else. Funny thing about it was, I was drinking and doing things myself. But for some reason, it was okay for me, but it wasn't okay for my dad. But I, it just, it really unleashed some negative things in my, in my life that took me years to work out.

• 17:00Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. Thanks for sharing that. Um, that brings up something for me about the secret to happiness and goal setting. I was a, you know, I always want to achieve a lot of things, right? My whole childhood, I wanted to achieve my dreams of being a professional athlete and an all American athlete. And I thought, you know, I want to be the best, the best that I can be. And that's like the highest mark. And I remember I was a, I achieved my goal. I was all state in a couple of sports and then I was an all American my senior year in a couple of sports. And I remember the moment when I heard the news that I was the all, an all American. Uh, I was like happy for maybe 30 seconds and then I was miserable and depressed.

• 17:43Lewis Howes?

  And I was like, felt really lonely and resentful. Now, I'm curious to know what your answer is to the secret of happiness when it comes to goals and happiness being connected.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Well, I used to think, and it sounds like you did too, that it was the achievement of the goal that would give me the happiness. You know, buying that amazing dream home, or that really cool car, or marrying the right significant other, or whatever it is, you know, it's different for everybody. Building a business, achieving a financial goal, whatever it is. But what I've discovered is that it's really the pursuit of a meaningful goal is where the happiness is. It's not in the destination, it's in the journey. And so when I achieve something that's significant, I know there's going to be a letdown. I mean, I rejoice in it for a couple of minutes and high five everybody, and it's really important to my team that I recognize that.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  But honestly, if I don't quickly reframe and get fixed on the next mountain that I'm going to climb, I'm going to be discouraged. I'm going to be sad. It's not going to be fulfilling because again, it's in the journey towards something that I find meaning. And I think that's because it's not the achievement of the goal that's important. It's just that when we set big goals, we have to change and we have to become something other than what we are right now. And that's where I think satisfaction and long-term satisfaction comes from.

• 19:06Lewis Howes?

  I like that, yeah. When I read The Alchemist in my early twenties, it kind of like opened me up to actually getting that point that it was about the journey and then not the destination. And also the peaceful warrior, I don't know if you've read that book by Dan Millman, but uh...

• 19:21Speaker 02

  No, I have.

• 19:22Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh, that's a powerful, powerful book, called The Peaceful Warrior. But um, yeah, that's very cool. Now tell me, how do we actually set effective goals then? How do we, what's the process? How do we do this?

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Well, there's a couple of things. I think, first of all, we need to go through the process of completing the past. You know, I think a lot of people are hampered in their thinking about the future because they really haven't completed the past. They've got something that happened in this last year that puts a hitch in their giddy up. You know, maybe they weren't acknowledged for something they feel like they should have been acknowledged for, or maybe they failed at a goal that they set out that was really important to them and they haven't really completed. Maybe they've been in denial. But I think getting clear on your past and coming to terms with it, so you can kind of put it to bed and to use a book publishing metaphor, the world I come from, you know, to be able to turn the page and go to the next chapter. So you've got to have a process of dealing with the past. And I do talk about that in Five Days to Your Best Year Ever.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  In fact, one of the days we spend reflecting on the past. Then I think we have to view the future in a very specific way. And I think that for most people who are big goal people, for people that are high achievers, they have a way of thinking about the future that's different from everybody else. There's a mindset about it that that looks at it as a white canvas, something that could become anything that is I to be. And that the most important thing is that they got to decide what they want. And so I've got a process for that as well. And then I think, you know, writing our goals in a very specific format, a lot of goals fail just because they're not really goals. We call them goals, but they're aspirations or they're intentions or they're a dream. But they have to have deadlines and some other things around them that make them specific.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  And then I think, and this is killer to me, connecting each goal to our why. Why is that goal important? Sometimes goals get externally imposed upon us. Maybe it's our boss, maybe it's somebody that's significant in our life, but it's not something that we really own and not something that we're really clear about why we're even doing it. But once we connect a goal to our why, and I go through a process literally of writing out these bullet points for each one of my goals. Why is this important? And more importantly, what's at stake if I achieve it? And what's at stake if I don't achieve it? So it feels like there's some risk involved, but there's also some reward. Because inevitably, in the pursuit of a big goal, you're going to hit what I call the messy middle.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  You know, when you just, you're too far into quit, but you don't think you have the resources to finish and you just get stuck. And that's when, that's when we're in the danger zone and when we can become liable to throwing the the goal out the window and just giving up and becoming cynical. But in the midst of that messy middle, if we've really fleshed out our goals so that we have the whys identified, then we can reconnect, reengage emotionally about what's at stake. And then we have some options about what to do about that goal. I mean, we could recommit to it. We could revise it. We could remove it from our goal list, but at least that it's, it's then it's done consciously and with intention and not just something that's a knee jerk reaction. And then I think finally, just we need to, if we're gonna have successful goal setting

• 22:31Speaker 02

  process, we've got to identify where to start. People get so caught up developing these detailed action plans. And for many people, that becomes a fancy way to procrastinate.

• 22:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, right.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  So if you're, if you're building a submarine, you probably need that. If you're launching, you know, the Apollo mission to the moon, you probably need that. But for most of us, we just need to identify the next actions. The path will open up and the next steps will become clear, but they only become clear when we get in motion and start developing momentum.

• 22:59Lewis Howes?

  I like that. Yeah. And you talk about momentum and maintaining focus, but how many goals should someone have? Like, is there too many goals that's gonna stop our momentum? You know, if we have 30 goals for the year, it's probably be hard to focus and keep the momentum going. And, and to couple with that question, is it, is it good to be public with your goals or to have an accounting accountability group somewhere, either online or friends offline? When you meet up and you say, here's what my goal is and here's what I'm committed to creating. Is that powerful? Or does that hurt the momentum?

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Oh, these are, these are two great questions. Well, let me start with the number of, of goals first. You know, what psychologists tell us is that we really can't hold in our mind more than about seven to 10 things at one time. So, you know, when it gets, when the scope gets bigger than that, we really don't give attention. We get distracted and, and we lose focus altogether. So I think the right number is about seven to 10. And you can't fudge on this either, because I had an executive one time when I was back in the corporate world who came to me and he knew that I taught this. And so he cleverly arranged three or four goals under these major headings. And I said, you, you've got like 30 goals here. And he said, no, I don't. There, those, I got seven. I said, no, you have seven areas of focus, but you've got like 30 goals. That's cheating. I said, you're

• 24:16Speaker 02

  not gonna, you're not gonna do it. I can just tell you, you're not gonna achieve 30 goals. I said, let's start with seven to 10. And if you achieve those early in the year, great. You can totally recreate new goals. You don't have to wait till next year. And so that's what we did. So I think seven to 10. I, and by the way, I'd be curious, what, what do you think typically? What's been your experience?

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  Oh, I think it's it's a good question. I think I have like three or four big goals for the year. Like I've got a book coming out next year and I have certain sales marks I want to hit. I'm launching a magazine and I've got a numbers that I want to hit for my podcast. So I've kind of got like these bigger goals and then I've got a few products that I want to launch that I have goals with as like things to launch, but I think having like three to five kind of bigger goals and then maybe like three to four things that fall along with it because there's, you know, there's only so much time to have. There's like all this time in the pipeline, right? We have like a big goal, but then there's like back and forth time. There's waiting time. So I think you got to have some other things

• 25:17Lewis Howes?

  to go with it to support those bigger goals along your main mission in life. At least that's what I think, but.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  Well, I I think that's right. I I was not the name drop, but I was talking to Tony Robbins about this and and he has this idea of three to thrive, you know, three big goals that are really the goals that jazz you and are the most energizing, but three to thrive. And then he has 12 to triumph. So, you know, it's still kind of in the in the range. And then we were talking about Shaleen Johnson before we got on this podcast. And Shaleen has that concept of a push goal. And I love this idea where there's one goal out of all of them, whether it's seven or 10 or 12. And again, for me, it's seven to 10, but to pick that one goal that if you could achieve it, it would make every other goal on your list easier to accomplish. And it's like a big domino, you know, what's the what's the one goal here that if I pushed it over?

• 26:07Speaker 02

  The others would topple more easily. So I think that's a good concept, too. But back to your, whether you go public or not, this has been a controversy kind of in the goal setting community. I used to go super public, like I would blog my goals. And you know, it's great because people connected with me being vulnerable and, you know, kind of hanging it out there. But then I heard this Ted presentation. I don't know if you've heard this one by Derek Silvers where he talks about

• 26:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Goals.

• 26:38Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  And he says, the problem with that is that psychologically, you get the same satisfaction from telling the goal as if you'd achieved it. Your brain doesn't know the difference. So then you back off the goal. But here's what I think is the right perspective. I don't, I think kind of both of those are extremes. And I think the best thing to do is to share your goals with people that you know, love you and support you. And most importantly, will hold you accountable, who won't let you get away and make excuses for not achieving the goal. So I want to share it with the people that are, that are closest to me, like my wife, like my teammates at work, like a few people in my mastermind, but not beyond that. You know, I just think

• 27:21Speaker 02

  it's, I don't want the psychological satisfaction. I just want to resource the goal so that if I get stuck, I've got people that are holding my feet to the far fire. And more importantly, helping me be creative when I may not be creative and helping me figure out another strategy for achieving the goal when maybe I don't, I can't see it for myself.

• 27:37Lewis Howes?

  I like that. That's very cool. Yeah, I think it's a happy medium is like the people that you're close with, your friends with, or even a smaller online accountability group, but not maybe the whole world, right?

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Yep, absolutely.

• 27:49Lewis Howes?

  I like that. So why don't people set goals?

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Well, I think for a lot of people, they can get cynical because maybe they set a goal in the past and they didn't achieve it. They didn't come close. And maybe it was given in a context where it was externally imposed, like, you know, if you're in sales, maybe your boss gave you a goal that you just knew from the get go, there was no way.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  And so when people miss goals and they miss goals repeatedly, they get cynical about them and they build up kind of this, this wall about them. And for other people, and maybe some of these, this first group I've mentioned, it's also fear. Because I think inherently what happens is when we set a goal, what we're really saying is that the status quo is no longer acceptable. And it's going to require us to change. Something's got to happen to us if we're going to achieve that this next year. Like, like I have a goal, again, and not everybody can do this, depends on the scale of your business, but my goal for this next year is I want to double my business again. Now, here's a curious thing. I don't really have any idea how that's possible.

• 28:48Lewis Howes?

  You're already doing pretty well, Michael.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, but, but, but here's why I'm saying that. It's not because the money's important. It's not because, of course, the impact's important. I want to, you know, touch more people. But I know that something's going to have to show up in me. I'm going to have to learn how to do this business that I'm running right now in a different way than I'm doing it now in order to achieve that goal.

• 29:09Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  So there's something about that. And believe me, I feel fear. I feel uncertainty. I feel doubt. And to me, those are the markers that I'm in the discomfort zone, and that's exactly where I want to be. I don't want to be in the delusional zone, but I want to be in the discomfort zone, because that's where all the cool stuff happens. So when I start feeling those feelings, I think, okay, something in me is going to have to change. But a lot of people have learned that when they feel those things, that fear, that uncertainty, the doubt, they back away from it. They go, oh, my gosh, something's wrong. I shouldn't be here. I need to back up into the comfort zone. And so they shut down on the goal setting process. So I think those are a couple of reasons. I just read some research, too. In fact, I published it on my blog today, where setting goals

• 29:54Speaker 02

  that are too low actually works against you. So unless the goal is big enough, you won't have the excitement, you won't be interested in generating the momentum. And so the goal's got to be big enough that it, that it really incites that energy within you to pursue it. Otherwise.

• 30:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Now, what's, you know, what about this whole quote, you know, reach for the stars and land on the moon thing? Is it okay to land on the moon if we have such a big goal and we don't, and we never hit it? Is that okay to, you know, to land on the moon and not hit the stars? Or what do you think about that?

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Well, it's, I think it's okay if you say it's okay.

• 30:30Lewis Howes?

  Right, yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  You understand? I mean, it's like, like, who are we, who are we doing these for? Because, because sometimes maybe it's some unconscious thing, like, like I was talking about my father, a lot of other people are, you know, kind of inherently people pleasers because there's, there's something inside of their psyche, may go back to their childhood or whatever. And they're waiting for approval from somebody, but at the end of the day, I just would say, when you achieve your goal, or you don't achieve it, or you come close, is it okay or not? And I think part of that process and dealing with the past that I take people through in day one, five days to your best year ever, is to get, get really clear on that, you know, to just say, okay, I didn't hit the stars, but I hit the moon. Can I give myself permission to celebrate that? Because I would have not gotten anywhere close to the moon if I hadn't aimed for the stars.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  And the stars are out there, and next year's a new year, so I'll keep going.

• 31:20Lewis Howes?

  I like that. What do you think, you know, I ask people a lot, this one question, what they're most afraid of, afraid of succeeding and actually reaching their goals, or of failing and not reaching it. What do you think, why do people, what do you think people are more afraid of, let's say, of the actual reaching the goal? And what comes with that responsibility, or title, or whatever it may be? What do you think people are more afraid of?

• 31:45Speaker 02

  I don't know, that'd be interesting to do a research project on that. One of the things I want to do this next year is, I want to start a nonprofit foundation that does research into goal setting, what works, what doesn't, sort of debunk the myths and get to the science of it. So, the short answer to the question is, I don't know. I suspect, my hypothesis would be, that people who have not done a lot of goal setting, people maybe that are young or early in their career, may unconsciously fear success. Because with a success, perhaps comes more responsibility, you know, it's like a thermostat, you know, we kind of set the temperature or set the ceiling in our lives, and when we get above that, we get uncomfortable. I think once you begin to hit some success, I think, just listening from your podcast

• 32:29Speaker 02

  and getting to know you a little bit, you're probably the second kind of guy that's probably afraid of not reaching your potential. I mean, I want to leave nothing on the field. I want to get to the end of my life and, and have the conviction that I played full out in every area. Because this is like the one chance you get. This is the one life you've been given. And so for me, it's just about, that's my biggest fear, is that I aim too low. I would rather over-dial it on the other side, you know, be, be a little bit too aggressive, wanting to accomplish a little bit too much, and falling a little short. Rather than just not reaching for it and just playing it safe.

• 33:10Lewis Howes?

  I like that. A few questions left. What, first off, I want to know what are your, you know, can you share maybe your three or five of your goals this year?

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, one of them was that I wanted to double my business this year. And so I actually, it looks like we're still, you know, have this month to go as, as we're recording this, but it looks like I'm going to more than double it, which is awesome. Some really great things have happened and I'm excited about that. So that was, that was fun. I was able to put together a great team, add to the team, put in some infrastructure and all that's good. One of the goals that I had that I'm the most proud of for this year was that I took my wife Gail to Europe for a month. We went in the month of August. I got five emails in that entire month because of how I set it up. I didn't want it, I wanted to be offline. I really wanted to focus on her and I wanted to focus on the experience.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  And I got five emails that in that entire month, those were all from my team. Our income actually went up from the previous several months. So there was no dip in the income. It didn't require my presence and I came back to a totally empty inbox. So that was awesome. And it was kind of a test because I wanted to see, I want to build a business that runs without me, or at least doesn't require my constant intervention. I think a lot of people get on this entrepreneurial kick and then what happens to them is they end up working for the most difficult boss they've ever worked for, which is themselves. And they're putting in 70 to 80 hours a week. They've got no life. I don't want to do that.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  I'm really taking this lifestyle business thing seriously. So that was kind of a test for me and I'm, I'm really proud of the outcome of that. One of the other goals that I had was to, and this is really more of a habit than a goal. And there's, there's a difference that I talk about in the course, but I really wanted to nail strength training this year. And I've, I've done serious cardio, running half marathons and all that for the last decade, almost decade. But my strength training was just not up to par. And so I said, I want to work out with a trainer at least twice a week and really get that in tow. And I did. And I feel like today I'm in the best shape of my life ever. And I'm 59 years old, but I feel like I'm 35.

• 35:37Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's cool.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  So anyway, those are just some of my goals.

• 35:40Lewis Howes?

  What, what about this next year coming up? What are maybe two or three goals you have?

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm still framing those up, but for sure, I want to double my business again, just for the reasons I shared earlier. I've got a new book also. Now, I had on my, I had on my list that I wanted it to hit the New York Times list this next year in 2015, but we're looking at delaying it until 2016. So that's all being negotiated with the publisher now. So I don't know if that'll, that'll make it there or not. I want to take Platform University, which is a membership site I have. I'd love to get that, that to 10,000 members, which would be doubling the size of that this year.

• 36:19Lewis Howes?

  Incredible.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  I'd love to get this best year ever course, you know, it's, we'll, we'll do probably, let me just think here for a second. We'll do about seven X of what we did last year, this year.

• 36:32Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  If it comes off on what we did, but I, you know, you had this goal of reaching a hundred million people. My goal's a little more modest with that course, but I'd, I'd love to see a million people enrolled in that course, not in 2015, but I want to steady advance toward that over the next five years.

• 36:46Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  So.

• 36:48Lewis Howes?

  Very cool. Very cool. Yeah. My hundred million is like my lifetime. It's not, it's not next year. It's like my life is, you know, it's next year would be pretty big. So yeah, that's kind of just like my mission on why I do everything that I'm doing. Does it serve that mission towards achieving that overall goal?

• 37:07Speaker 02

  You know what's cool about that though? When you share a big mission like that or goal, there's something about that that resonates within me. And I, I think sometimes we miss this, if we're leading a team, that sometimes we set goals that are so safe and so low, it doesn't motivate anybody. It's not compelling to us and it's not compelling to our team. And therefore, nobody really feels like they got to put any effort in it to accomplish it. But when I hear a hundred million. My mind starts going immediately to what could I do to help Lewis accomplish that? What, uh, what would that mean? What would that look like? You know, that to me is very compelling.

• 37:39Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, well, thank you. Yeah. I mean, you know, I ask people what's their vision all the time. And, you know, people say, I want to inspire the world and I want to change the world and this and that. And I think that's awesome. But for me, and I think, I think you'll agree hopefully is that you want to have some type of quantifiable.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  Amount so that you can reach. And I don't know if I'm going to be able to quantify every person that I touch. But I want to create a ripple effect so that it empowers a hundred million people. And there are some things that I can qualify with, uh, you know, my podcast numbers and subscribers and following and things like that. And the people I speak in front of, but really it's like, you know, like you said, we have one shot at this to leave it all on the, the field. And, uh, the world is our playing field and I want to, uh, you know, serve a hundred million people. And if I hit that in the next few years or sooner, you know, I'm not limiting it to the rest of my life. If I hit it sooner than great, then I'll up it to 500 million. But for now that's my mission until it happens.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Well, what, what I love about that too, and it's another principle of goal setting. You've got to get clear on the what before you address the question of how. And I think people get all hung up on this because they don't know how they're going to accomplish something. They dismiss the goal, but vision attracts resources. If you've got the right vision, you'll figure out the right strategy. But it doesn't ever happen the, the, the reverse of that. You know, you're never gonna, and I, I see people do this all the time. Well, once I get enough money, then I'll start dreaming about what I'm going to do with it. Doesn't happen that way. You know, you gotta have a big vision that you can't finance, that you can't figure out how to get to. That will attract the strategy and the resources. So vision, in my experience, always precedes strategy.

• 39:18Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, I like that. What is, uh, a couple of questions left here. What is the most important ingredient for reaching our goals?

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Okay, this is like, you know, one of those things that you slap your head on and say, well, it's obvious, but very few people do this. It's actually writing the goal down. There was a study that was done by Gail Matthews at the Dominican University of California, where she took a bunch of goal setters and she tracked them over a three-year period. And one of the things that she discovered was that people who actually committed their goals to writing had a 42% greater likelihood of achieving the goals than the group who didn't write them down. And it's a discipline to write them down. I think it's how we kind of put our intention out there to the world. You know, we begin to get focused. There's something about thoughts disentangle themselves, passing over the lips, and especially through pencil tips.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  So putting it on paper helps us get the clarity that we need to move toward the goal. And that clarity, I know you did a whole podcast episode on this, but that clarity is so critical in the goal-setting process. If you're not clear, then chances are you're not going to achieve it. And one of the best ways to get clear is to write it out.

• 40:26Lewis Howes?

  That's, I would 100% agree with you. And I'm glad you said that because I've been doing this since high school in sports, where we would frame our goals and put it up, you know, I call it a certificate of achievement now, where we, I tell people to write their goal down, frame it as if it's been awarded to you in the future with the date and you signing it as that it's, your intention is it's already happening. And that your job is to figure out how to get the resources to make that happen, or what the action steps to make it happen. And I put my, you know, my goals up on my wall so that I can see at all times, like it's a nice award, like I just went to an award ceremony and here's what they gave me and I made it happen. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's, for me at least, that's something that works.

• 41:09Lewis Howes?

  And I definitely agree with writing it down.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  I did something similar when I wrote my book, Platform, Get Noticed in a Noisy World. I said, I want this on the New York Times list. And it felt audacious at the time, even though I'd published in industry all my life, I thought, oh geez, now, now comes my turn to do this. And so what I did was I went in and I had a designer create a page that looked exactly like the New York Times. And I used the exact same list. I just changed the date and then I put my list on the New York Times list. So I put my, my book at number one and it only got to seven, but

• 41:43Lewis Howes?

  You made it.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  But I made it.

• 41:45Lewis Howes?

  You made it on the moon.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  And I had that, I had that framed and I looked at it every day.

• 41:50Lewis Howes?

  That's brilliant. I a hundred percent agree with that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do that for my book as well. Thanks for that idea.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Send you the template.

• 41:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, please do. I would love that. I'm gonna frame that bad boy. Um, okay. Three final questions. One is, what is the key to designing and creating a loving, healthy family?

• 42:12Speaker 02

  Wow. That's a big question.

• 42:15Lewis Howes?

  Cause I, I mean, I don't have kids and I'm not married.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:18Lewis Howes?

  And, but I want them someday. You know, I'm 31 and this, it's part of my vision for my life, but I want to know from you, you've, you know, had a very successful family life, I would say, healthy, loving, and I'm sure there's ups and downs, but what's the key to?

• 42:33Speaker 02

  Okay. I'm gonna just tell you, I'm not a psychologist or a marriage and family therapist. What I, what I have is a long-term marriage and I've got five girls that still love me and all live in the area and two of them work with me in the business. I think the key for me has been loving their mother. I think the kids, you know, couples sometimes get this backwards. They, they live for the kids and then the kids leave and they don't have a relationship that's grown in those intermittent years. And, and what gives kids security and an environment where they can thrive is when the husband and the wife just love each other deeply,

• 43:12Speaker 02

  passionately. And, and that's not something that's just a feeling, you know, because inevitably, once you get married, the feelings are gonna wear off. And that's kind of that messy middle I talked about in goal setting. And so, love is a verb, you know, it's not an adjective, you know, it's something you do, not something you feel first. Your feelings will follow the doing. So there, what we've tried to do is cultivate the art of loving one another, even when we didn't feel like it. And then the feelings would follow. And believe me, we've had, you know, fights and I shared some of the stuff earlier in the, in the episode. But that consistently has been the thing that, that I think has framed our relationship with one another, is that we

• 43:53Speaker 02

  just continue to pursue one another and continue to love one another well. And then the relationship with the kids, you know, they're, they're secure, they feel safe, they know mom and dad love each other. And it creates the kind of ecosystem that makes kids thrive.

• 44:09Lewis Howes?

  That's a great answer. Thank you for sharing that. I'm gonna,

• 44:13Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  You know, embed that in my body and my mind as I move forward. So, thank you. What are you most grateful for from this, this entire year?

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Well, I do think, and I kind of shared this earlier, but I, I do think it was this month away with Gail. I, I just, it was so good for us to just not be inundated with all the stuff that we normally deal with, you know, Twitter and Facebook and friends calling and responsibility and all that stuff. But to just get out of that context where it was just us in a beautiful setting, where we literally had hours every day to talk and to kind of excavate one another's hearts and find out what was in there and what were you thinking about now and what do you want to accomplish this next year yourself. And my, my wife is, just in the last two years, has taken a painting. And so she painted

• 45:04Speaker 02

  a lot while we were there. And, and I'm an amateur photographer. So I took a bunch of online courses on photography and we would share what we'd created when we got together for, for dinner. And I don't know, I just, I, I just love the fact that that was something that wasn't work related and, and yet was so valuable, where I felt so connected to it. In fact, it was so good, we're gonna do it again next year.

• 45:30Lewis Howes?

  Very cool. Where are you guys going?

• 45:32Speaker 02

  We're actually gonna go to Prince Edward Island in eastern Canada.

• 45:36Lewis Howes?

  Awesome. Well, hopefully I'll get to hear about that and you'll post pictures on it when you're done, not during it. Very cool. Okay. And do you feel gratitude is an important thing to express in order to achieve your goals?

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I think it's so important. You know, I think that until we, until we practice gratitude, we will plan and set goals out of a mindset of scarcity.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  And it's much better if we can set that out of a perspective of, of abundance. You know, we're not going to get more of what we don't have until we've learned to be thankful for what we do have.

• 46:15Lewis Howes?

  Amen.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  And, you know, it's all around us. I mean, I, I just, all of us, I don't care if you're, if you're, if you're listening to this and you're living at least in, in America, and even if you're not, you know, I mean, I've been to Ethiopia and a lot of places in Africa and, you know, anybody in this country, most people in this country, you know, have it pretty well off.

• 46:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  And certainly anybody listening to this podcast, but to be thankful for what we have, even if, even if it's not much, I think is so, so hugely important to our level of satisfaction and to attracting more stuff. People can smell it on you when you're desperate, you know, when you're, when you're operating out of scarcity. And when you operate out of abundance and that comes through the practice of gratitude, you know, that attracts people. I think it's very compelling.

• 47:00Lewis Howes?

  I love that. Thanks for that answer. Well, I want to wrap it up with the final question before I do. I want to let everyone know, I'm going to have a link on the show notes here. I'll let you guys know what that link is in just a second for five days to your best year ever. And I'm actually going to be going through this as well with people. So, you know, make sure to sign up for this program, five days to your best year ever. You know, after listening to you share more about it, it's like, you know, I feel like I have a pretty good goal setting process for myself, but it's like, I want to go through this now to make sure that I'm really setting myself up to win for all of 2015. And, you know, and this obviously isn't something you don't have to do just at the end of the year. It's something you could probably do at any time in transition or whatever it may be. Is that correct?

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 47:45Lewis Howes?

  So you don't need to just do this in the month of December and it's not too late if you're in January or February. So make sure to check this out. We'll have a link in the show notes as well. Let you guys know what that is, but definitely get this course. There's a free video series right now. So check it out. They're incredible and I highly recommend it. Michael, I want to, before I ask you the final question, I want to acknowledge you for your incredible gift in the world. You stand for,

• 48:13Lewis Howes?

  what is the word? You stand for grace and there are not too many men that I would use that word with, but you are so graceful in your wisdom and in your flow. Every single time you put something out, every time I hear you speak, every time we talk, you, you flow so beautifully and you still have, you know, this presence about you that is confident and you're such a powerful leader. I just want to acknowledge you for

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 48:45Lewis Howes?

  your incredible vision and everything you've created in your life so far to serve the world and your vision for the world moving forward. Thank you for all that you do.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  That means the world to me. Thank you.

• 48:55Lewis Howes?

  Final question, what I ask all my guests and it's what's your definition of greatness?

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think my definition of greatness is helping as many people as I possibly can achieve their dreams. I think if, if I do that, then I'll achieve my dream and I'll be happy and successful.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  So that's what I, that's why I get up in the morning. That's what keeps me going when I want to quit, but is helping other people achieve what is most important to them and really being focused on the things that are most important.

• 49:27Lewis Howes?

  Thank you so much, Michael Hyland. I appreciate you for coming on and can't wait to connect and do more fun things in the future.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  Thanks, Lewis. Appreciate you.

• 49:45Lewis Howes?

  And there you have it guys, thank you so much for joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode, please head back to the show notes over at LewisHowes.com/113. Make sure to check out all the links that we talk about, the videos that Michael has. There's some great information there. You want to make sure you dive into this information and take action now. Please also share this with your friends over on Facebook and Twitter. I've been getting a lot of people sharing lately, sending me messages about the episodes that you're falling in love with and what it's doing for you. So I hope this information, this episode, this interview, has provided you with some great value in your life. That's my mission, to provide a lot of value to you and to give you the tools, the resources, the information, the people, the strategies

• 50:28Lewis Howes?

  to support you in getting to the next level in whatever that is in your life. So I hope you guys enjoyed this. Thank you guys so much for coming on. Again, make sure to check out LewisHowes.com/113 for more information. I am so appreciative and grateful that you listen to these episodes, that you share them, that you subscribe, that you write me reviews. And I'm so pumped for what this next year has to come on the School of Greatness Podcast. You guys know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.