1048 Rachel Hollis: Manifest Success, Overcome Guilt & Manage Negative Feedback

“Success is a slow process and so many people drop out of the race because they want it to be overnight.”Today’s guest knows what it takes to stick it out when things get tough and never ceases to raise her work to the next level. Rachel Hollis is a two-time #1 New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, blogger and podcast host with a global audience! She uses her platform to empower and embolden women everywhere. Lewis and Rachel have a wide-ranging conversation, covering topics such as overcoming self-doubt, social media, manifesting success, and so much more! For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1048The previous podcast with Rachel Hollis: www.lewishowes.com/697Check out her book: www.didntseethatcomingnewbook.com Listen to her podcast: https://thehollisco.com/blogs/rachel-hollis-podcastDaymond John on How to Close any Deal and Achieve Any Outcome: https://link.chtbl.com/928-podSara Blakely on Writing Your Billion Dollar Story: https://link.chtbl.com/893-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 1048 with number one New York Times bestselling author, Rachel Hollis.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  For anybody who is listening or watching this and you own a business and this year has been hard, same, you have to stay fixated on where you are going, not what it is.

• 0:20Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:43Lewis Howes?

  Steve Jobs once said, "You have to be burning with an idea or a problem or a wrong that you want to write. If you're not passionate enough from the start, you'll never stick it out." And Warren Buffett said, "Price is what you pay, value is what you get." Today's guest knows exactly what it takes to stick it out when things get tough and never ceases to raise her work to the next level. Rachel Hollis is a two-time number one New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, blogger, podcast host, and entrepreneur. She connects with a global audience who really value her transparency and optimism, and she uses her platform to empower and embolden women around the world. And in this episode,

• 1:26Lewis Howes?

  we discuss the number one key for overcoming self doubt, advice on how to manage pain and overcome guilt, Rachel's visualization techniques for manifesting success and abundance, how to manage negative feedback when you're launching something that you're really proud of, habits to develop in extremely stressful times, and advice for people who are running a business this year and beyond. And if you're inspired at any moment, make sure to let me know and share this with someone who needs to hear it or over on your social media channels, lewishouse.com/1048, or just copy and paste this link wherever you're listening to this podcast and share it with a friend right now. And also make sure to subscribe over

• 2:08Lewis Howes?

  on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a rating and review if you enjoyed this interview. Okay, in just a moment, the one and only Rachel Hollis.

• 2:21Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about my guest Rachel Hollis is back in the house. Good to see you Rachel.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Good to see you too, man.

• 2:30Lewis Howes?

  I'm sad that you're not in LA more and hopefully you'll be back here soon sometime so we can connect.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  I miss traveling. I mean, do you miss traveling?

• 2:40Lewis Howes?

  I do. I miss it a lot. I mean, that was your life for the last few years as you exploded with the last few books you had and were so in demand as a speaker to every event and conference in the world wanted you and now it just kind of all stopped instantly.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:57Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious with all of the pain and struggles and suffering that you've been faced with, the different challenges that you've had to endure. Obviously, you're extremely blessed and have lots to be grateful for and have accumulated a lot in the last few years, but with all the stress of 2020, what's been the biggest challenge that you've had to endure?

• 3:20Speaker 01

  You know, the honest truth is it's crazy because I'm going through a divorce. I'm going through a public divorce and that has been incredibly difficult for both of us and for our children and our family, but I, to be completely honest with you, the most difficult part about this year has been the business. Because, you know, I started this year out with 60 employees and I feel when it comes to my personal life that like I can handle the emotional fallout of the personal side of things, but the most stressful piece of my year and I assume that

• 4:05Speaker 01

  the other entrepreneurs in your listenership will understand this is the business because in that instance, it's not just my family who's counting on me to be strong and to be a good leader. It's 60 families. So that having to pivot and for people in your in your community who don't understand, the bulk of my revenue came in live events. So we had

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  Bulk meaning what fifty percent, seventy percent?

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Oh, easily seventy percent of what we do, for sure. Um, and we were really well known for the events we did and we did great, you know, money on those events. And we're really proud of what we had figured out how to do. And it has come to a screeching halt like so many other people. And I feel like I have spent this entire year fighting like my back is up against a wall. And I'm just pivoting and pivoting and pivoting again. And it feels like I've been talking to a lot of other entrepreneurs about this, that it feels like you make a decision and you pivot and it works. And then shoot, two months later, you gotta pivot again.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  So it's been the most stressful piece of this year for me, for sure.

• 5:20Lewis Howes?

  So what have you landed on now since you've pivoted, you know, three to five times probably? Where, where?

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Right. Um, so we, the, I want to say we were probably one of the first people who had specialized in live events to pivot into a virtual event. And we, and very intentionally, I, I like rallied the troops and I was like, what the hell are we gonna do? And I said, if we could be first to market with this.

• 5:46Lewis Howes?

  For everyone's doing it, yeah.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Right. Um, and it was very successful for us, thank God. Um, and so we've done a couple of virtual conferences this year and we've pivoted pretty heavily into product. You know, my, my girl, my, my customer loves to shop. So we already had some products that made sense for what we do, but we've really pivoted very heavily into that, especially with holidays. Um, so that's

• 6:11Lewis Howes?

  I saw the, I saw the four to six necklaces style guide today.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  You're making it work, you know, like I freaking love my team. I like these people have been my comrades for years and you just have to figure it out. And the thing is, I've been an entrepreneur for seventeen years. So I've been through this before. I went through this in two thousand eight, two thousand nine. And I find a way and I will always find a way. And so that's where I'm doing right now.

• 6:43Lewis Howes?

  For someone who's been teaching confidence and overcoming self doubt for the last, obviously a long time, but more specifically in the mainstream of the last three to four years. How do you find confidence in yourself when it seems like everything is against you with a divorce publicly with the business needing to shift with whatever other challenges you might be going through mentally or emotionally that we're not aware of?

• 7:07Speaker 01

  I think that I have the gift, and I really do think of it as a gift of having gone through a lot of hard things before. And so I know it's gonna suck either way. The thing, right? The things that we're in, the personal stuff, the business, twenty twenty, covid, it's going to suck either way. So if it's gonna suck either way, I may as well show up to the best of my ability. I may as well try as hard as I can. I may as well stay strong and keep going. If it's gonna suck either way, it'll suck way less in the end if I stay in the game. Then if I sort of sit down and stay here and and, you know, cry about how hard it is.

• 7:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What would you say for people listening or watching would be the number one thing to developing self confidence in a moment of zero end in sight for them or zero clarity of the future or all the doubts they're going through? How? What's the one thing they should be focused on to overcome that doubt?

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Who needs it more than you? Who needs this win more than you? Meaning, I have four kids. I have all these employees. It's not about me. It's about them. And so often, especially for women, I think that if you can tie it to something greater than yourself, you know, everyone talks about the why and Simon Sinek, what's your why? And that's great. But it's like, it's not, for me, it's not what's my why, it's what's my who?

• 8:39Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Who needs this more than I need this? Um, and other people are counting on me to be strong. And often, I think when you don't have the courage in yourself, you can find the courage for other people. Like, have you ever heard those stories where like, a parent will like lift a car off their child who's been pinned underneath it?

• 8:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  It's, you will find a way when it's for someone else.

• 9:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How have you been able to set boundaries for yourself personally and professionally during and publicly online during all of the breakdowns? Where you've had to show up and shift and be there for yourself, for your family, for Dave in certain ways, for your team, for your audience? How do you create boundaries so you don't lose yourself in all of this?

• 9:31Speaker 01

  I think that the, it's more about the emotional boundaries that I need to have, or you need to have, or your listeners need to have, um, personally. So I had stopped trying a long time ago to please people online. Um, Gary Vee has this quote that I love. He says, "I'm just gonna show up as myself and let the chips fall where they may." And I, uh, same, right? Like, I, um, had posted after the election and I lost like a hundred thousand followers on Instagram. Cause I posted a picture with Biden because I interviewed him last year and he was awesome. Um, and I was super, um, I was being thrilled with the way the election went.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  You can edit out whatever you want to edit out, but I was, I was so, so proud of our country. And I lost a hundred thousand people. And some people would see that and be like, "Oh my God, like you lost a hundred thousand followers on Instagram." And I was like, "Oh, awesome." I don't want people in my community who would refuse to do life with someone because they voted differently. Right, like that's not what I'm creating. So I am going to just keep showing up as myself and if it goes down to ten followers who like are down with who I really am, great. Because that's the thing, you know, when, when we announced the divorce, there was such

• 10:56Speaker 01

  awful backlash, people were really awful. And, oh, and I wasn't expecting that, to be truthful, I, I did not anticipate that women especially would, would attack for that. And a lot of people said like, that I was fake. Because I had said that I loved this person and I did, and, and now I'm getting a divorce. As if like you show all of the parts of your relationship to the public and so they know every piece of it, but I thought it was really interesting to encounter this thing because I think the decision to stop trying to make something work that wasn't ever gonna work is the most authentic decision I've ever made.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  I think it is, I, I think that you should think I'm fake if I keep doing that same thing to make the brand look better, you know? I think it's the realest I've ever been. Um, so I found that really funny that that was sort of the feedback, because it's like, man, this is the most authentic I've ever showed up. At the risk of alienating fans and customers and pissing people off and hurting my meemaw and like all of the people that were hurt by this choice, I chose to do what was true and real for me. And, and man, I guess if, if you don't like that, that's cool, but I'm just gonna keep

• 12:25Speaker 01

  showing up as myself, that's my boundary, is I refuse to take in someone else's perception of me.

• 12:32Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious about your thoughts, looking back, and we don't, you don't need to go into specifics, obviously with the divorce or anything, but I'm curious about building a business with your partner. There are some people I've seen who've, you know, especially like YouTubers who build their audiences together, and then they break up, whether they're married or just boyfriend or girlfriend, and other people who have businesses, and then it gets messy if it doesn't work out. What's your thoughts on, just reflecting back, would you have built a brand where you guys, I believe you guys did a daily show together in the mornings for a lot, like a year or two years or something? You did events together on relationships. Would you have integrated your relationship in building a business,

• 13:15Lewis Howes?

  talking about things together, if you had to do it over again? Or what advice would you have for married people or people in relationships, in terms of doing a lot of things together in business, or at least talking together in business publicly? What's your feedback or thoughts on that?

• 13:31Speaker 01

  I don't regret going into business together. You know, we were incredible partners for 18 years. And the interesting thing is that publicly, people are like, oh, your marriage failed. My marriage didn't fail. My marriage produced four beautiful kids. It, you know, we were foster parents to four kids. We had so much fun. We were best friends. We built beautiful, beautiful things together. That's not a failure. That is a massive success. The amount of time you spend together should not be the determining factor in how successful something was. But I feel like we fell into our relationship being a brand,

• 14:15Speaker 01

  and that was never my intention, and I would never do it again, ever. Because that puts pressure on the relationship to, to, you know, it was fascinating to me that people, the backlash was like, well, if you guys fail, what hope do I have with my husband? And I was like, Do not put that on me. My like that, that it, that has nothing to do. You don't know our world. You don't know our story. Like that is a crazy thing to think that someone else's relationship not being able to continue the way that it has been determines whether or not you have a chance of succeeding.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  That's crazy. So I would never, ever, ever um do that again. And I think, yeah.

• 15:07Lewis Howes?

  If you had to go back and do it over, would you have done a podcast together and events together? Or would you just said, you know what, I'm gonna do my show.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  It's hard because we didn't know any better. You know, we really didn't know any better and we were making decisions based on like, oh, you're my best friend. We're gonna be married forever. This makes total sense. But the more time goes by, the more pressure there is to like be that couple. Now it's about, now there's like this third member of your relationship, which is this, this community, which is crazy. And look, I can't, I'm not in a place like I can't even fathom dating again. I can't like that. That's so far like there are rumors online and who I'm with. And I'm like, you guys are crazy. I am over here watching 90s rom coms on Netflix.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  Like I have zero desire. I'm not there. And I can't even guess when I would be there again, but I will tell you this, I will not be public with my relationship. I won't do that again.

• 16:12Lewis Howes?

  We're gonna get right back to Rachel Hollis in a couple of minutes, but I want to take a moment to shout out School of Greatness sponsor, Squarespace. I've guided tons of people through beginning their entrepreneurial journey throughout the years. And here are some of the most common questions I get. How do I market my brand? How do I build a website? How do I claim a domain? The answer to all those questions can begin with Squarespace. Squarespace is a dynamic all in one platform, perfect for people who are ready to make their ideas a reality. And you're not alone. If you feel like you're not an expert at web design, you're not a great marketer, sales, on top of being an entrepreneur. The dream and Squarespace will give you everything you need to grow into that online business. Even if you already have an online business, you can still start using Squarespace now.

• 16:57Lewis Howes?

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• 17:19Lewis Howes?

  What do you think people are setting themselves up for when they become, you know, publicly very involved with things publicly in their relationship? And is it possible to have a thriving marriage and partnership being, you know, sharing each other's lives a lot?

• 17:36Speaker 01

  I think that there's a way to do it.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  There's a way to do it. There's a way to talk about your life. I think a lot of celebrities do that, right? They're like, this is, you know, Victoria Beckham, my wife, like we're, they're a couple, right? But they're not, um, if you're invested in their relationship, it's more just because you know of it, not because you sort of have, like we did a podcast together where we talked about our relationship for a many episodes. And the thing is, if you listen to our podcast, we talked about our, our struggles a lot, which was why when people are like, you acted like everything was perfect. I'm like, y'all, we have been unpacking our problems for 18 months on a podcast. Where have you been?

• 18:25Speaker 01

  So yeah, I, I think that there's a way to do it, but I do think what you run into is there are times where you, like anybody who is listening to this, who is on social media at all.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  There are times where you post something or do something because it feels like it's a necessary thing. And maybe you weren't truly feeling the full like joy of the picture that you posted. So that's one thing. But when you, when it's, when it's a relationship that you're doing that for. When you do have a morning show. And maybe you're frustrated about something that the other person did or said that morning or the night before. But you have a community of people who are counting on you. And you're like, well, we gotta show up for the community. It just makes everything muddled and um then I feel like I just. You don't know and like social media and all of this world and all the things that we're doing.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Is new like we never had experienced what we were going through and we truly just did what made sense. But in retrospect, um I think that it, I think that it absolutely was hurtful. For us being able to be. Like authentic and real with each other. I'm not worried about the audience, but with each other about how we were feeling.

• 19:49Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious about just social media and relationships in general. Do you feel like it's ruining more relationships? We don't need to talk about yours specifically, but do you feel like social media is ruining more relationships? Or serving relationships and growing more?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  You know, it's, it's funny. I've like done so many podcasts lately and I keep talking about social media. Social media is something that I feel like we're gonna look back on in ten years and go. I can't believe like, okay, in the eighties, let's say, or in the seventies, like. You know, moms used to like throw their kids in the back of the station wagon, no car seats, they're rolling around back there, no seat belts, just, you know, whatever. And now we look back and we're like, that's crazy. Like, I can't believe. The kids were rolling around the back. I feel like we're gonna look back on social media and be like, I can't believe. That this got to exist and there were no parameters on it and nobody controlled it and it was allowed. Like, I keep telling everybody, have you seen The Social Dilemma?

• 20:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  If y'all listening, if you have not seen this documentary, you have to watch it. But I think it's like anything. Social media is an incredible tool. You can build a business with it. You can connect people around the world. You can find your people, like you feel like you're alone and you can like find people who understand you. But then they're also very harsh.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Negative pieces to it. So I think that it can go either way.

• 21:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  I just personally think that when the the focus becomes about the relationship, that's when it's.

• 21:23Lewis Howes?

  Ah, did you ever feel like there was a point where you couldn't get out, like you were too deep into everything? Not everything, but a lot is about our relationship and we can't, I can't get out of it now without.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  I don't think I realized the ramifications on the business. Um, by making that decision. I I knew people would be shocked, certainly, um, but I don't think that I realized the ramifications. You know, to the business, like people were so upset.

• 21:51Lewis Howes?

  Like it impacted the business in a big way?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, we had people who asked for, you know, they wanted to be reimbursed for conferences they had gone to four years prior. Like you, you know, I thought that you were this good wife. By the way, the feet, it was never about him. Never. It was always me. Like, we thought that you cared about being a wife and you clearly don't. And so, and I'm quoting, I denounce everything you've ever taught me and I would like a refund. Um, people were wild and dealing with that in the midst of, you know, I already told you how stressful.

• 22:28Lewis Howes?

  Covid.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  On the business.

• 22:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Covid and I'm deeply hurting and I can't get out of bed. And I have the only energy I had was for my kids. Uh, it was, it was a wild summer, man.

• 22:42Lewis Howes?

  How have you learned to overcome guilt in general in your life? What's been the process? If you've been feeling it in this year or not, but if you, how do you go through the process?

• 22:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, it's funny. I wrote about this in the new book, um, pretty sort of, um, yeah, there you go. Um, I have zero guilt. Zero. Um, I think that this idea of like, I should feel guilty. Because I'm no longer going to be married is um, is insane. And it's an antiquated notion that I again is not something that he has to deal with. It's fallout that I have to deal with, which is deeply unfair. Um, and so I, I feel pain, I feel grief. I'm sad for my children. I'm, there's so many parts of this are pain that are painful.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  But guilt about this is not um, is not in it. Because guilt is the idea that you did something wrong. And I think that I made a decision that will allow our family to be the healthiest version of itself. Um, I, I really honestly believe that we will look back on this even a year from now. And be like, oh, right. Yeah, that was, that's what needed to happen.

• 24:05Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Um, so yeah, I don't, I don't have guilt. And I think um, other people might believe that I should, but that goes back to this boundary and this idea of lots of people could. This is, you know, for your listeners too, like the world will try and tell you what to feel, what to think. Where we'll try and tell you who you are. You don't have to accept that. You know, nobody knows what truly went down inside of my marriage, except for the person that I was married to.

• 24:36Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  And, you know, it, it's nobody's business. So you to, it's, yeah. I, I just, I don't, I don't hold someone else's um, feelings about how I should.

• 24:49Lewis Howes?

  Sure. How about, how about handling guilt in the past for just whatever in life? What are some ways that people should learn on how to overcome feeling guilty about something?

• 25:01Speaker 01

  Well, I think, I think that it starts with if it's something that you are carrying guilt about. Asking yourself like, have I done everything that I can to make amends? That's where it starts.

• 25:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Oftentimes, you know, the people in my community who are struggling with guilt are still carrying guilt. They actually have. Just the fact that you feel guilty. Means that you, most people have like, they've apologized, they've tried to make amends, they've done the work, the whatever. But they're still carrying it. And so I think if you begin with a place of have I done everything that I can possibly do? Then it becomes about unpacking why you're still holding on to this guilt. You know, is it something that you're giving yourself? Is it something that someone else is asking you to carry? You know, or is someone else putting that shame on you and so you're sort of? Picking up the load that someone else put on you, um.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  But I think it begins with understanding like. For me, everything is always about understanding why.

• 26:06Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Why do I feel this way? Why am I triggered? Why is this happening? Because if you can understand why, you can figure out how to navigate around anything. Um, so yeah, when it comes to guilt, it's like, have you done what you could do? And why, if you have done what you can do, why are you still feeling this way?

• 26:27Lewis Howes?

  What uh, what do you think are the biggest lessons you've learned this year for yourself that you really needed to learn that you hadn't learned yet?

• 26:34Speaker 01

  I feel like this was the final straw in. Whatever like remnants I had of people pleasing.

• 26:44Lewis Howes?

  It's like you killed your ego this year.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  I lit it on fire. I burned it down. I, it was, this was like the final.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  You know, and it's an interesting thing. I've been talking about this a lot lately with my friends that I feel like I was just sort of over here like doing my work quietly, like doing my thing. And then I had this book explode. And then people decided who I was. So they gave me an identity and they said, you are this person. And it was going so fast. I mean, this is when you and I first met was when I was like so overwhelmed and you were like, I'm gonna call you.

• 27:26Lewis Howes?

  Like the book just came out, yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:28Lewis Howes?

  I don't even think, I don't even know, was it a, I don't even know if it had number one yet.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  I don't think it had hit, no, no, I think it was just like in the beginning. And I was so overwhelmed. And so I described that as like, I have felt like I'm on a runaway horse. And I'm doing everything in my power to like, try and like rein in this horse. And in the midst of that, you're going so fast. And also this public is like, this is who you are. And so you're just sort of going, like you're swept away with the tide. And in the times that things happen and then pub, the, the community or social media, whatever gets upset. What is so wild to me is that so often I'm like, that thing that I did, that is very much who I am.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  How did you miss that? Like, I'm gonna go back to this idea of like posting a picture and saying that I was proud of the US for voting in a new president. Like, most of my best friends are gay. Like, I'm the most liberal person on the planet. Like, I'm all of these things that I've spoke. What would surprise you about the fact that I'm excited about nothing, if you're paying attention? But the problem is that you don't see me as I am. You see me as the person you decided that I am. And so it it feels like this impossible thing to keep up with. So what I am trying to do, like I said, if I go down to ten followers, then there'll be ten followers who are like, yeah, you're my kind of girl.

• 29:01Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  I like that you love and accept everybody and I like that you cuss sometimes and I like that you're working mom and whatever else it is and I'm gonna, I just, if I'm gonna, I I won't please the internet anymore.

• 29:15Lewis Howes?

  I'll tell you what, having an ego death is the greatest, one of the greatest gifts we can have as individuals and probably having it over and over again is something that's really important for, I just think our our emotional well-being, our humility, our uh empathy, all these things, because when we think our stuff is, you know, so so big or so much more valuable than something else or whatever, whenever we get brought back down to a level of, hey, like, no, don't, don't keep living this way, like, it's good for us. I think it's healthy. It's, it's like cleansing, you know, it cleanses the things that don't support us. I I feel like I

• 29:55Lewis Howes?

  am very grateful on the fact that my growth has been very gradual over the last decade. Like, I didn't have this rocket ship of explosion of audience at any time. There were some like little spikes here and there when I launch a book or something happens, but it wasn't like boom, within a year, this massive audience and exposure and opportunity. What advice do you have for people that have an explosion like yours, whether it's a a surgeon, fifty thousand followers in a few months or a million and opportunities galore. What advice do you have on the the fast track in a s- in a in a condensed time? Obviously, you spent fifteen years building this, but but when it launches and all of a sudden, oh, everyone knows who I am.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:39Lewis Howes?

  How to manage that?

• 30:40Speaker 01

  That's a really good question. It's sort of like what you asked me earlier about my relationship, but I would say if I could go back and do things differently. I would very strategically and very consistently make sure that who I am was evident every single day. Was always there so that there's no confusion, right? So Dave has this saying, he said it forever. He says, he says, people are only upset when they're surprised.

• 31:11Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Which is so real, right? So I would make sure that it's almost like calling the herd. You don't want a billion people who are not aligned with your vision, your values, who you are. You want, it's better to have a small dedicated group of people who are like, yes, you are speaking our language. Especially if you're doing something like you and I do where we're teaching or offering advice or wisdom, because it's like, man, if you don't like my teaching or my style, then you're gonna hate everything that I put out. So it's better to, um, like, I remember when, when Girl, Show Face was like going crazy.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Um, there was a, a really conservative actress posted about the book. And she was like, I love this book. You guys have to read it. And it was amazing. I got like so many new followers. Like, I want to say like fifty thousand followers overnight. It's crazy. And I was like, this is amazing. And then that weekend, literally like four or five days later, I was sitting on my patio, having a glass of wine. And I posted a picture and I was like cheers to the weekend. And people lost their mind, like they were so angry that I was drinking wine and I could not figure out what happened. It was,

• 32:38Speaker 01

  it was really the first time that I'd had that kind of like crazy backlash with like trolls and people being so mean. And I was like, what is going on? I am a grown, I'm thirty five at that point, like having wine, I'm not doing shots in Vegas with my top off, like I'm sitting on my patio having a glass of wine with my husband, like what in the world? And it took me several days to realize, oh. She talked about me. She's very conservative. All of her followers then came in assuming that I was the same kind of person and they were surprised.

• 33:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  And so I lost a bunch of those people right away, but I was like, great. Get out of here because if you're going to be offended by a Sauvignon Blanc, that is the least, that is the least of our worries. I'm going to for sure do something you do not like. So get out of here.

• 33:33Lewis Howes?

  What advice you have to people when they hear negative criticism online when they have a small audience? And they're trying to grow and they're trying to put out their stuff that they care about and they get backlash with a small audience.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  You just, we have to, if you create anything, if you use social media at all, you've got to let go of, of, you have to. I would have told you this five years ago, but the state of the internet today is a dumpster fire. Trolls are the price of admission. It just is. It just is. And right now, online, people could be talking crap about me. People could be loving me. I have no idea.

• 34:10Lewis Howes?

  You don't check comments anymore?

• 34:11Speaker 01

  Nope. No idea. Do you hate me? Do you, like, someone will say, like, oh, my gosh. I had posted this thing on election day where I was like, it's gonna be okay, guys. Like, let's all take a breath. It's gonna be okay. And it wasn't until days later that someone was like, oh, you blew up the internet with your inflammatory comments. Like, someone on my team had told me, I was like, what? I didn't even know people were angry because if the tree falls in the forest, but I can't hear it.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  And honestly, I want to, I would love to tell you, Louis, that like, I can run out and post something and then someone could be like, you're ugly, you're the worst, and it not touch me. But it does. It hurts my feelings. And so I decided that the only way that I could do this work was to not consume it. But it's important to know, I don't consume the good stuff either. I don't feel like either one is good for me. The good comments aren't good and the bad comments aren't good.

• 35:06Lewis Howes?

  Why the good, why the good comments not good?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Because I just feel like that's how you start to believe that you're so great or so fancy or you figured it out and I never want to reach the end of my evolution. And I think you could get really easily tripped into believing that like, You did it. You figured it out. You know, so um yeah, I I just I don't consume it. I don't consume it at all.

• 35:35Lewis Howes?

  How do you manage the emotional pain? And what strategies would you have for people that are just, they feel like, you know what, I'm not as fortunate as uh Rachel, I I haven't built a business and haven't had this, you know, success on the outside like she has. I'm struggling there and I'm struggling in every other area of my life, physically, emotionally, relationships. The pain is just seems so hard. What advice about going through pain and embracing it? So that it doesn't seem crippling forever for people?

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Right. I was just, I was actually talking to a girlfriend today who told me that she is also going through divorce. Um, and we were just talking about, she's still very much at the beginning of that and how painful it is. And I said, it's just gonna suck for a while. There's no way around it. It's just gonna suck. And so the advice I would give you is to cling to moments of joy when you can find them. Like when you can laugh, laugh, when you can find, you know, I've like, it's a a comedy of what I have done to process the ways that I'm feeling. And some days that's look like I'm gonna go on a run and some days that looks like I'm gonna go buy an entire birthday cake

• 36:52Speaker 01

  and a bottle of wine. And this is what I'm having for dinner because the kids are with their dad and I'm just gonna eat my pain. And I feel great about that. Um, I'm very graceful with myself in this process. And um, yeah, I that that's that's it. You know, we can, as humans, we can hold both. We can hold both joy and pain. And I think pushing for moments of laughter, even in the hardest days, are what remind you like it's, and this is what I told my girlfriend. I was like, it's gonna get good again. I swear to you, it's gonna get good again, but not for a while.

• 37:29Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, just it, that's what it is. And you know, I used to believe that if I could just make a certain amount of money, or if I could just get my business to the right place, that then I would be free of hardship and pain and.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  This is the hardest year of my life.

• 37:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Without question. And I've been through some stuffs. So to say that is is big. And I just keep thinking, I just keep telling myself. Rach, you are going to come out the other side of this and you are going to be a fucking warrior. Like you will be untouchable. You will like, because I coached myself. I don't know if you do, because I'm like constantly coaching myself. And I am just like, yes, you are walking through hell. You are walking through fire, but you will come out the other side of this and you will be invincible. And the thing is, we create our own reality. So that will be true for me. Because I am saying it to myself.

• 38:38Lewis Howes?

  Manifesting it, yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm manifesting. I'm not manifesting like, oh, you're gonna come out the other side of this. And you're gonna get back all the millions of dollars you've lost this year. Like you're gonna, I'm not manifesting that. I'm saying you're gonna come out the other side of this and you will be unstoppable. Your back's against the wall. You got work to do. Like, let's go.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  So coach yourself.

• 39:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I had this uh. Realization last year when I was going through some criticism online that I was just like, man, this seems really unfair that people are assuming something that they have no. Uh, facts. They have no truth. They have no, they're hearing one, one perspective of something that. Was very frustrating that people were jumping to conclusions and whatever. And I had a lot of great uh mentors reach out to me and just give me some great advice. And in this time, I was like, you know what? This is amazing for my ego to just. Kill this off if I, you know, for me, it was like, okay, I don't care. I don't need to please anyone anymore. I'm.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:44Lewis Howes?

  I'm killing that side of me off, which I probably had a little people pleaser in me still. And I. Had this concept called hindsight now come to me where I was like it's gonna be New Year's Eve. This was towards the beginning of last year and I was like it's gonna be New Year's Eve. And I'm gonna look back and I'm gonna realize that this was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me. And it's all gonna be happening for a reason that's gonna benefit me and my community and the world someday. Maybe it's not this year or five years, but one day I'm gonna be able to show up in a more powerful way. Because this happened in my favor. And I keep having that all year of just like hindsight now for everyone like have hindsight now, whether it's the end of this year, whether it's the end of next year.

• 40:27Lewis Howes?

  You're gonna look back and you're gonna be so much stronger because of this. And I think uh it's hard to have when you're in the middle of a storm.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:37Lewis Howes?

  But uh seeing the future and knowing this will benefit you is is something that's powerful.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Well, and just like a really tactical piece of advice that I love is. And I actually was telling my girlfriend this today is that when the first several months of after the breakup were just abysmal. It just a black hole, just so painful and for so many different reasons. And then I don't know if this is everyone, but I hit a point where I was like, I am tired of crying. I'm tired of crying. I don't know how to stop, but I know that I'm fed up. I don't wanna cry anymore. And so I really sort of started to research or think back on what I've learned over time to try and go, okay, what what would help you? What's happening? Why is this happening? All that stuff?

• 41:26Speaker 01

  And so I started to think a lot about, you know, I've talked for years about morning routines. So many people have a morning routine. But even before the routine begins, your day and your mindset truly begins. The second you have the awareness of being awake, because most people, as soon as they have an awareness of being awake. They start thinking of all of their problems. They start thinking of everything that's happened, what's going on in their life, what? And then they make that even worse because most people then immediately grab their phone. And they check email and they check social and they look at Slack and they're looking. So now we're compounding.

• 42:06Speaker 01

  All of those thoughts by adding to it with all the problems that are happening. And so the first thing most of us do in the morning is think about all the stuff that's going wrong. And so I was watching, I know you, you've interviewed, uh, Dispenza, right?

• 42:21Lewis Howes?

  Many times.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was watching a, a video of his on YouTube and I just keep coming back to this idea of like, if the first thing you do in the morning is start to envision the life that you want to have, where you're going in the future and when you're going through a crisis or really hard season, I don't think you can imagine that far in the future. So usually for me, I think a decade in the future and during this process, there were times I was like, the, the furthest I can see is tomorrow. And then the furthest I can see is a week or a month from now. And now I will tell you that I'm up to the place where I can see a year in advance.

• 43:02Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  A lot of work, but when I wake up in the morning, I, I'm, I don't allow myself, not a single thought, not, I want coffee, not, I gotta brush my teeth, nothing. Before I lay there and I just start to envision, and this is what it's going to feel like. And this is, this is, this will happen and this will happen. And, and I get that picture very clearly in my mind. And then I start my day.

• 43:25Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  And that was probably the biggest, most helpful thing to me in this process. Because it was almost like I was throwing out a fishing lure and like hooking the thing. And then beginning the day. So I had something to sort of pull me forward.

• 43:41Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's cool.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Waking up and just being like, life sucks and this is horrible. So that has been really helpful for me.

• 43:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think, uh, you know, vision boards, mood boards, my, uh, vision movies, we can create all these different strategies for us, but I think just having a simple practice like that daily, where you can reflect and imagine for a few minutes, the life you want to create. You'll probably get closer to creating it than the life that you don't like.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:08Lewis Howes?

  Um, so I think that's powerful and a lot of us, myself included are, uh, Check phones in the morning and don't always follow the practice perfectly, but what was the thing that got you through? What were the habits that in the challenging, most challenging days that you were able to do? When, when you weren't able to do anything but sit there and cry and mope, were there any habits that you held on to at least was like, at least I'm going to write one sentence in my journal, or at least I'm going to say I'm grateful I'm alive. Like, was there anything you held on to?

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I kept drinking my water.

• 44:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's good.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Why? You know, I know it sounds silly, but it is something I tell a lot of people. There you go.

• 44:49Lewis Howes?

  Any jug of water here.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  When you're trying to add great new habits to your life, I love the practice of hydration because water is free and it's easy to access and you're adding something instead of subtracting. So I kept, I stayed hydrated and I moved my body every single day. That is a long time practice of mine. And I will tell you that in this season, it looked like a lot more gentle movements than I've done in the past. So it wasn't maybe 10 mile runs. It was like, I'm going to go stretch. I'm going to go dance in my garage for 20 minutes, but I moved my body every single day, seven days a week, which was really helpful in terms of stress and sort of lowering the cortisol in my system. So that was a big one for me.

• 45:36Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious about money. You talk about money in your book and getting real about your finances. Was there a moment when money just started to flood into your account that you remember? You're like, okay, for years I was making this much and it was growing a certain amount, or maybe it was going up and down. And then boom, all of a sudden, money was attracted to you like a river flooding into your ocean, right? Was there a moment like that? And what was the mindset you had for the year before in order to turn it into a financially abundant mindset?

• 46:13Speaker 01

  That is such a good question. It was, I don't know if this is like the, the answer, but it was the year before my head was down. I was freaking doing the work. I was just doing the work. I was working so hard and I wasn't distracted by other things. And I wasn't trying to get more followers on Instagram. I was doing the work that I know I needed to do. And, you know, if I think back even to the success of Girl Wash Your Face or Girl Stop Apologizing, so much of that was because I was doing the work. It wasn't a genius marketing scheme. It wasn't PR. It was the, the book. There was something in those books that really spoke to women.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  And the thing that spoke to them was I had been in conversation with her for a decade. And so I was, you know, how do you guys feel about this? How's this in your life? And I was really testing with, I didn't, I didn't think of it that way at the time, but I was testing how she wanted to be communicated with and what would be helpful to her. And so.

• 47:18Lewis Howes?

  You mean the reader?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, the reader. I, that's, that's all I was focused on. I never in my life could have imagined that that book would hit the way that it did. Um, but in retrospect, the, the space I was in was just on truly trying to offer value to my community. And that's what sort of made it hit. And I mean, I can tell you, like, it is, it really is a, uh, this is something for, for anybody who is listening or watching this, and you own a business and this year has been hard, same. Um, you have to stay fixated on where you are going, not what it is.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  So it's very important that you see life as it really is. So like, I had my leadership meeting today. Our director of accounting is like, this is our cash flow. This is where we're at. This is where we're going. Here's what it is. Great. We have that information. And now our job as leaders is to focus only on where we're going. Because if we trip out on like what our revenue is today versus what it was a year ago, we'll, we'll be frozen. Well, we won't be able to move forward. And so I think, yes, it's about an abundance mindset, but it really is about like, we are go, there is no plan B. This is where we're going. We will make it work. We will find a way. Let's go.

• 48:45Lewis Howes?

  You were working and building your business for what 12, 13, 14 years before Girl Wash Your Face? Is that right?

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:54Lewis Howes?

  Was there anything else that switched for you? Because that's where you're just doing that for 12 to 13 years and then all of a sudden, okay, a decade of work pays off.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  I was iterating what the business was. So I owned an event planning company and then I turned it into a blog and then the blog created this.

• 49:08Lewis Howes?

  Food stuff.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I, I, I sort of, I, my, interestingly enough, my consumer has always been the same. My community has always been the same, but the business has sort of shifted to kind of go along with her. Um, but I think it was just like testing, testing, testing, testing, testing. And then something, you know, it's like, we have this saying here that you can knock down a tree of any size if you, if you keep chopping at it long enough. So we just keep chopping that tree and it doesn't matter how big it is. At some point it's going to fall if you stay consistent. So I know it's kind of a boring answer, but it really is consistency of like, get your work done.

• 49:48Lewis Howes?

  So it was focusing on creating the best work possible. It wasn't anything around changing your mindset and any other way to, to attract money?

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Um.

• 49:58Lewis Howes?

  Like, did you have a limiting belief around money where you're like, okay, I'm only going to be able to hit this much every year? Or?

• 50:04Speaker 01

  I definitely had a limiting belief about what was possible in, in business. Like I kind of only knew, but you know, I tell this story, I think in Girl Stop Apologizing of going to a business conference. And I had bought myself a ticket for, um, for my birthday. I went to, um, Business Mastery, which is Tony Robbins event. And the ticket was $10,000, which was like, I had to save up for a year to be able to go. It was crazy.

• 50:33Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  And I, because I bought the fancy ticket, I was sitting sort of at the front and I remember this man came and sat down next to me and he looked like he had been sleeping on the beach for 10 days and just like rolled. I'm like, how is this guy in this section? Like, what are you doing here? Totally judging a book by its cover.

• 50:53Lewis Howes?

  And he's probably worth a billion dollars.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Oh, he was worth so much. But I didn't know, right? And so at some point you have to like, talk to your neighbor and we start talking and he says, you know, how much? What, what, what, what was your revenue? What'd you do last year? And I thought it was like he asked to like. Me to take my top off.

• 51:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow, really?

• 51:16Speaker 01

  Well, I had never talked numbers with other people. And you know, I ca- I came from a family where like, we don't talk about money and that's rude and whatever. And so I'd never had someone else in business go, what's your revenue? And at the time, I had done, I I wanted to cross a million dollars so bad. Like, that was my goal. And three years in a row, I'd almost got there and I like couldn't get past it. And I, you know, he's like, you know, what have you done so far? And I was like, you know, eight hundred and thirty or whatever thousand. And he was, I said, well, what, what have you done so far?

• 51:48Lewis Howes?

  Eight hundred thirty million.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  No, he was like, oh, I don't know, I think we're like at nineteen million right now, like nineteen. And I was like, and I really honestly had never met someone who owned a company who could just so casually say, oh, we did nineteen million dollars. And super nice guy. But for me, to even just understand that a regular human being could make that much money with their company in a year, completely shifted my world on its axis. Like, it it really being around, like, you're talking about like a money mindset or attracting that that kind of stuff. You really have to be around other people who are operating at a higher level than you are.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  And, you know, I say this all the time and people are like, well, I don't have, you know, millionaires laying around my neighborhood. I'm like, yeah, but you do have access to the internet. And YouTube is an incredible place to see people speak or get information or be inspired. So until you are at a place where you can run in circles with like the top dogs, go absorb as much information as you can from the things that you can find on your computer or your phone, because even just understanding what's possible will make it possible for you.

• 53:08Lewis Howes?

  Do you think those two things that you did, one, investing in yourself with a big ticket item, whether it's, you know, an event or coaching or a software that's expensive, some type of investment? And being able to communicate about money with an open heart as opposed to a closed heart. Do you think those two things were supportive in your growth as well?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  I will tell you, um, at that conference, have you ever been to Business Mastery?

• 53:34Lewis Howes?

  No, I've been to a bunch of other stuff, but I've, I've seen a lot of it.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Like drinking out of a fire hose.

• 53:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  There's so much information that I honestly don't know that I applied any of it, truthfully. Like I've never experienced, in, in fact, not that it, anybody there is asking me to consult with them. But like, I wish I could tell them like, there's a way for this to be way more effective for people. But you have to like pull back a little bit, just so much information. And for me, the power of that ticket, which by the way, the next year, my revenue went crazy. The power of that ticket was the people that were around me.

• 54:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  It was not what I saw on stage. It was that guy that I got to talk to and the other people in, who were like, oh, you're doing this in marketing? And like, oh, what, what do you do with email? And how's that, that was worth five times as much, truly. And his marketing for that is so genius, if you've never heard it, because he always says, if you don't get a million dollars of value in the first day, I'll give you your money back. So you're like, oh, it's a money back guarantee. But yeah, I do think that, that it's why, you know, that's that old, um, uh, Jim Rohn thing. The five people, you are a combination of the five people you spend the most time with. And if you wanna do different, like I, you know, we're, we're leaning into product. And we have so much going on with holiday and shopping and all that stuff.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  And I reached out to a girlfriend who kills it in e-comm. I'm like, hey, will you jump on the phone with me? Will you talk me through what you guys are doing? I'll tell you everything we're doing, like let's share information. There's so much power if you have the ability to call that person and ask for that piece of information. But until you do, find it online.

• 55:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, the, the investing in yourself and surrounding yourself with, with the coach or mastermind or something of people that are. Elevated the level that you're inspired by, and they can be inspired by you in other ways, I think is extremely

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 55:31Lewis Howes?

  powerful. It's it's pretty much how I've done everything for 12 years is being around the right people and investing in myself.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  I will tell you, um, I have a girlfriend uh who does similar work and she tells the story of um, I don't know if she names numbers, but I won't name her name and then it'll be okay. Um, but when we first became friends, we were, it was towards the end of the year and we were talking about what we wanted to do in revenue in the next year. And she was like, okay, last year, you know, I did seven, I'm making this up, but it's something like this. She's like, I did seven million and my big goal this year is to do 10. And I was like, do 12.

• 56:14Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  She was like, what? And I'm like, you, you can do 10, you can do 12. And she was like, okay. And she called me in like August, she didn't even get to December. She was like, Rachel, I just passed 12, like,

• 56:29Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  I can't, she's like, she said, only because you challenged me, that because you said you could do 12. She's like, I just tried to figure out how in the world I could add two more million dollars.

• 56:40Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  And she figured it out and I didn't know what I was talking about. I was just trying to like hype her up as her friend. I was like, do 12, just like that. That's how you have to say it.

• 56:51Lewis Howes?

  Haha.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  But it worked. It is incredibly powerful to be around other people who will, who are above you and will challenge you to level up.

• 57:03Lewis Howes?

  What is the thing that you think is holding you back mentally from doubling your revenue in the next year? Is there anything that's holding you back?

• 57:12Speaker 01

  I think the, the biggest thing right now is trying to manage um, the mindset of staff who things have been in such fluctuation. It's not what we're used to and sort of getting everybody pointed in the same direction. We're going this way. Here's what we're doing. Just get ready for 2021 because I'm coming out of the hardest year and I already told you I'm going to be a warrior and man, you ain't seen nothing yet.

• 57:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  This is um.

• 57:43Lewis Howes?

  What's the vision moving forward?

• 57:45Speaker 01

  I was gonna say world domination, but that sounds ridiculous. Um. You know, the, this is, I, I started this company seventeen years ago. And in order to retain this company inside of a breakup, that cost me a lot of money. Um, and so there's power for that in me. There's power in, um, like I said, like bouncing back and coming back and proving that I have the ability to do it. I've done it before and I'll do it again. Um, and I could be really discouraged by what this has cost me.

• 58:22Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Um, or I can use that as fuel to do what's next. And so, um, our rise is, is the heartbeat of my company and always has been the rise brand. That was what our events were, and so we'll continue to leave it lean into virtual events because those have been massive for us. And it's the first time that we've had people from all over the world. I mean, our first virtual conference, fifty-three thousand people.

• 58:49Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, eighty-three different countries. It was incredible. Um, and so we're excited to, to elevate that in twenty twenty-one. Um, the rise app, which is, you know, fitness for people who hate fitness. I feel like there's an entire segment of the population that have been left behind by the health industry. People who have felt shamed, people who hate working out, people who think something's wrong with them. And I really want to create a space where they feel seen. I'm gonna keep describing the rise app as like if Richard Simmons invented a workout app, but it was designed by Target. That's what the right.

• 59:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Right. We don't take ourselves seriously. We just want you to move your body. We do it in really fun ways, whether it's yoga or meditation or walks or hikes or whatever. So, um.

• 59:34Lewis Howes?

  That's an interesting, uh, yeah, part of the market.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 59:38Lewis Howes?

  There's no one's really got that. Uh, you know, when you were saying that I was like with flight attendants from Southwest as your instructional teachers.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  Right, right. It's like, you know, there is, uh, most of my success in life.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  In business has been because I am, I am talking to like, for instance, I, you know, personal development or personal growth, that's sort of like what I'm known for. But I, my customer is not a woman who would self identify as personal development. And so when we look into the health space, I'm not, I am not competition for Peloton, I'm not competition for Tone It Up or Beachbody, and I don't want to be. I am speaking to a very specific group of people who would never do those apps because they feel intimidated.

• 1:00:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:25Speaker 01

  So I really love the underdog. I really love the people who, you know, they like, where do I belong? And I'm like, you belong with me. Come sit at my table.

• 1:00:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Talk to me about, you had a lot of opportunities that came in the last few years. One of them being Quibi, that I think you were like one of their bigger shows with all, you know.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  Yes, sir.

• 1:00:52Lewis Howes?

  Hundreds of celebrities and investing billions of dollars into this content and this platform that essentially was the biggest failure as a, as a business model in Hollywood for who knows many reasons. Obviously they blame COVID and all these different things, but the model probably was just flawed. How do you manage investing months of your life into an opportunity that seems like it's going to be this amazing big thing for many, many years that all of a sudden goes under or is going under? And you've stuck on a deliver content for a platform that may have no users in a year.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  Right. I mean, I was, we were filming, we literally filmed the last segment of the block we were on and then the announcement came.

• 1:01:34Lewis Howes?

  They're like, okay, we're done.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  We're done.

• 1:01:36Lewis Howes?

  We're selling.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Right. Um, honestly, I, you know, I am so, I'm trying to think, it takes a lot to, to fluster me. It takes a lot because I'm just like, all right, we'll figure it out with that one. I know this is going to like, people roll their eyes, it's going to sound like BS, but it's not. We learned so much. We made so many connections. I can call Jeffrey Katzenberg right now, like we are friends. Um, there were so many awesome things that came out of that. And I got to test this theory that I had that there was a, that, that women would really love teaching and lifestyle.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  See, when they came to me for that show, they just wanted teaching. And I was like, no, it has to be something that marries these two things together. And I was right. It really worked. And the thing that's crazy about when I say that we were top five show, of those top five shows, we were the only one they didn't market.

• 1:02:36Lewis Howes?

  Why didn't they?

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Because, you know, it was supposed to be like Chrissy's Court was what was gonna rule the day.

• 1:02:41Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  They put all the marketing dollars into these big names, and then I'm over here, this little engine that could. And so I'm like, I know this is now a viable concept. So really, like, oh, my gosh, we learned so much. So I don't consider that a loss at all. I got paid.

• 1:02:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:03:01Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  So we'll see what happens with that content in the future. But I think it's like something we're gonna remember forever. It'll be like, remember when we had a show on Quibi?

• 1:03:11Lewis Howes?

  They're like, what was Quibi?

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:03:14Lewis Howes?

  How have you learned about saying yes and no to things now? After it seems like for three years, you pretty much said yes to everything is what it looks like. You know, you're like, okay, is this gonna continue? Let's just say yes, yes, yes, because the opportunity is here. How do you make decisions now based on if it's a yes or if it's a no? What is the deciding factor for you when a massive opportunity or this book deal, the TV show or whatever, Netflix? What is a yes and a no?

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  It has to be, does it fulfill the vision that I have of the life I want to be at a year from now? Right? And as that vision expands to five years or 10, does this thing fit into that roadmap that I have in my mind? And if it doesn't, I have to say no. I have to.

• 1:03:58Lewis Howes?

  No matter how much money or what could potentially happen?

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Energy required. It's like, people don't understand energy. They don't understand, they're like, oh, it's just this little, you'll just do this thing, it'll be real quick. It's no, it's time out, it's the distraction, it's getting off course, it's doing that thing and then adjusting and like, there's so much energy required to operate at this level. You have to be laser focused on the things that are gonna push your goal, like push you closer to the goal that you have in mind. So, yeah, and I, to me, I'm all, I am always playing the long game now. I will not ever do this thing again where I'm on the runaway horse and I'm just like, yes, yes, okay, yes, do that too. No.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Now, it's it's not about short term profit, it's not about short term accolades. It's I have this vision of where I want to go. What is it going to take to get there? It's going to be a slow process. Success is a slow process. And so many people drop out of the race because they want it to be overnight. And the people who are successful are the ones that just keep freaking showing up. So um yeah, that's how I decide is is this something that fits into where I want to go? Which is why it's scary when people don't have clear direction.

• 1:05:23Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  For their lives. That's how you that's how you lose three years. That's how you start a business and you don't make any traction because you're just you're all over the place. Because you're not like, nope. Like, we as an entire company, everybody on the staff, I don't care what you do. The only thing we're working on until January is product. It's holiday, it's shopping, we have incredible products, they are so.

• 1:05:48Lewis Howes?

  Physical products.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, physical products. It's the only thing. We have other lines of business, we have other stuffs that's important. I do not care. It's the only thing we're focusing on. Because I believe that when every like all the oars, all of us are rowing in the same direction. That's when you create magic, that's when you move a mountain.

• 1:06:09Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  But if you don't have clear vision, you're you you're all over the place.

• 1:06:14Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What's the thing you want for the business in the future? Is it, do you want to sell it? Do you want to take it public? Is it something you want to just have for yourself? What's the vision?

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  I will sell rice someday. There's a number in my head.

• 1:06:26Lewis Howes?

  There's a number.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  There's a number.

• 1:06:27Lewis Howes?

  What if it what if it came next year? Would you sell it or would you want to grow it until?

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  I would always be a part of it because I don't know how you could have rise and not have me attached. Um, but yeah, hell yeah. Someone wants to give me the money, the amount of money I have in my mind next year.

• 1:06:44Lewis Howes?

  You're like, I'll take it after this year.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  I think we're a minute away, right? I think we're a minute away from that. But yeah, that's that's the vision is I'm really excited about. Here's the thing, I never run out of ideas. I have so many ideas. And I really get excited about bringing some of these other ideas to life. But I can't bring those to life without. You know, hurting this thing that is so important and matters so much. And so we've got to get this, we've got to incubate this before we go there.

• 1:07:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How do you connect with people and share them feedback on someone who's passionate about 10 different things? I get this all the time. I've got all these ideas that I want to execute on. What do I do first? How do I manage them all? What would you say? Cause you've got ideas for days.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  You don't like, you can't, especially if you want to sell something to a consumer. Um, oh gosh, Don Miller with Story Brand Podcast, Story Brand Book, which is so good that everyone should read, has this saying, he says, if you confuse, you'll lose. If your customer is confused about what it is you do, you're screwed. They don't know what it is and it's so essential that you have total clarity on what you're creating and what you're doing. And that there's not a disconnect between the things that you're working on. So that your consumer really understands what it is they're going to get from you. So there's all sorts of things on the horizon for me, but uh, this is the, this is the focus right now.

• 1:08:15Lewis Howes?

  And what's missing in your life right now?

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  What's missing? I was going to say rest, but I'm going on vacation next week. So yeah, so I'm very excited. I'm taking myself on a solo vacation. I cannot wait.

• 1:08:28Lewis Howes?

  Where are you going?

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Hawaii, my favorite.

• 1:08:31Lewis Howes?

  You know, something I did three years ago, um, I went to Hawaii and I left all my electronics at home.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:08:39Lewis Howes?

  One of the greatest gifts I ever gave to myself was leaving my phone in LA. And getting off the plane.

• 1:08:44Speaker 01

  Was that stressful to travel without a phone?

• 1:08:47Lewis Howes?

  The first day I was a little nervous, but maybe it's different being a guy. I don't know. I felt like, okay, if something happens, I can take care of myself.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're very tall.

• 1:08:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I was like, I'll just scream and someone will run away from me, you know? But I remember like riding off the plane. I was like, oh, I don't know where, which uh, car rental company I got a car from. So I literally went to like seven different ones. Cause I was like, usually this is all my phone and it's. And I just wasn't even thinking. And so I went to all these places, asked them if they had my reservation. Then I literally just stopped at a gas station, asked for directions to the hotel I'm going to. It was the first day, I was like, this is kind of crazy. After day two, I was like, I could live like this the rest of my life.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. That's so rad.

• 1:09:34Lewis Howes?

  It was a beautiful thing. I don't, I'm assuming you won't be able to do that, but uh, you ever do that, I guarantee it'll be an amazing experience for you to leave all electronics at home.

• 1:09:43Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:09:43Lewis Howes?

  Connect. It's something about it. But uh, so sorry, you're going to Hawaii.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:09:48Lewis Howes?

  That's what's, that's what's missing, but you're gonna have a little bit of rest.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, that's the big piece right now is I've just been going for, since March. Like most people, like most business owners, I've just been going, going, going since March. And so I'm gonna take a week and do nothing. I'm just gonna like lay around and take naps and, you know, eat fish and that's what I'm gonna do.

• 1:10:13Lewis Howes?

  That's right.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  And then I'm gonna come back here and finish this year strong. But

• 1:10:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  I, you know, I, I really do, um, even when things are hard, I take really good care of myself. You know, I do the therapy, I make sure that I'm, am I emotionally okay? Am I too stressed? Or I need to take a walk? Do I need to take a nap? Do I need to hang out with my girlfriends and laugh? Like, I'm very conscious of how I'm feeling mentally, emotionally, physically, because operating at this level is, I don't want to sound like a douchebag, but I think of it like a professional athlete. It takes so much intention to be able to have this much energy, to be in meetings all day, to be on for stuff like this, to make decisions that are millions of dollars that you're, okay, I'll buy this much pro-

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  like, it's a lot. And in order to do that, I have to be at my best. So I am crazy intentional about how I'm doing.

• 1:11:12Lewis Howes?

  And what's the, what's the greatest fear moving forward that you've overcome the fear of judgment and pleasing people? What's, what's the fear you gotta overcome next?

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't operate with a lot of fear. I gotta be honest. I really don't. I don't know, I just, I come back to again and again, like, what is true? You know, my kids are healthy, everyone I love is safe. I've got food in my fridge. I have money in the bank. It's good, you know?

• 1:11:40Lewis Howes?

  That's good. If you could go back before divorce and give yourself a conversation, knowing everything you've gone through on top of divorce with COVID, business, and just everything that's happened. What would you say to yourself back then, you know, the day before you're going to have the conversation or go through the process to prepare yourself for what's about to come?

• 1:12:04Speaker 01

  What would I say? Oh, my gosh. You know, people always ask these questions like, oh, what would you tell your younger self? And I don't know, I live with such a like, whatever will be, will be, and it's all sort of happening for me. I'm trying to think of what, what I would have needed to hear back then. I guess I would say it's gonna be okay. You know, it's gonna be okay. It's why if you, if anyone's paying attention to my social, I say the same stuff over and over. I'm like, it's gonna be okay. You are strong enough. You will get through this. I'm saying to my compute, my community what I need to hear on the hard days. So, um, yeah, it would probably be that, just like, you got this.

• 1:12:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  Figure this out. And it, I'd say what I just said to my girlfriend, it's gonna suck.

• 1:12:52Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  And eventually it's gonna get good again.

• 1:12:55Lewis Howes?

  Uh, I wanted to ask you a couple of final questions, but you've got this book that's been doing extremely well called Didn't See That Coming, Putting Your Life Back Together When The World Falls Apart. And it sounds like the world has fallen apart for you in, in many ways, but also for most of the world in many ways. Um, they can get the book at didn't see that coming, newbook.com.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  You can get the book anywhere books are sold. You don't have to go to that website.

• 1:13:20Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Anyway, on Amazon, they've got all your books and all your other books are on there as well on Amazon. Check them out. Um, it's short. It's a, I like shorter books that are just real talk.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  I wanted something because it's talking about hard stuff. So I wanted something that was, you could finish it really quickly. It's a very easy read.

• 1:13:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. Check it out. Uh, make sure to follow Rachel on all social media, your podcast. It's been crushing over the last few years. You're doing amazing with everything you're up to. You shared last time you're on, I'm not going to share them with you. Cause I think they might be different. I'm going to let you know if they are different.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  Okay. Oh, this is exciting.

• 1:13:55Lewis Howes?

  So I've got them up here in front of me and I'll just let you know if any of them are the same. So. If this was your last day, uh, and no, no one has access to any of your content anymore. All your podcast videos, all the old Quibi videos at this point. They don't have access to your books. You've got to take them with you. What would you say are the three lessons you would share with the world or your three truths?

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  I hope this is something I said to you last time because this is a like a cornerstone in my life and my work is you are in control of what happens next. Um, so much of what I do is about women, especially understanding that they are in control of their lives, of their mindset, of how they show up in the world. And so that is the realest, truest thing I know. Three things, I have to do three things.

• 1:14:43Lewis Howes?

  Three truths, three lessons, three truths. And I'll tell you this, you got the first one exactly the same.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  Okay, great. Um, so you are in control. Um, I mean, I guess I feel this right now because of the book and what I'm going through in my life, but you can get through this. Whatever it is, whatever is happening, the goal that you want to achieve, like any, you can, you are capable, you are strong enough, you can do this thing. And then I would also want people to know, oh my gosh. I listened to your podcast. I should have known this was coming. I forgot. Um, nobody else gets to define you. This is a lesson. I feel like I keep learning again and again, and the freedom in letting go of what other people think.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  And allowing yourself to the freedom to be who you are will change your entire life. Um, and will make it such a beautiful, richer, like better existence. Um, yeah, someone else's opinion of you is none of your business.

• 1:15:53Lewis Howes?

  Well, one out of three were the same.

• 1:15:56Speaker 01

  Okay. What did I say last time?

• 1:15:59Lewis Howes?

  And if people want to hear the other two, they could go listen to the other interview.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Good, that's good.

• 1:16:06Lewis Howes?

  The other interview has got some amazing wisdom with her three truths, the other two, plus an incredible interview that we did. I'll link it up in the show notes and in the description of the podcast. I'll tell you afterwards, don't worry.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Great, great.

• 1:16:18Lewis Howes?

  People listening, they gotta go back and listen to that. Again, make sure people check out the book. Didn't see that coming. Go get it right now. All the other books, become a part of the app, get some holiday shopping.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  Right, all the things.

• 1:16:31Lewis Howes?

  Get it all for your, if you're, yeah, get it for your wives, your girlfriends, or if you just want to shop for yourself, get some good stuff. I acknowledge you, Rachel, for, for showing up for who you are and who you want to be, even in spite of it being very unpopular to so many people and hurting, you know, potentially hurting a lot of people, upsetting people, letting people down. You know, and I don't know the full story and everything of what's happened, but I acknowledge you in, in doing what you think is right and what you think you need to do in this moment in spite of it hurting you financially, emotionally, physically, all these different things. So you're doing your truth and you're living that. And I acknowledge you for the actions you're taking and the way you're showing up

• 1:17:14Lewis Howes?

  for your community, even when they might be frustrated with you. So I think that's, that's very challenging to do. And I acknowledge you for constantly showing up for yourself in this way that you need to do that. Grateful for you. Hopefully when you're in LA, we'll get to hang soon.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Yes, totally.

• 1:17:29Lewis Howes?

  And I, my final question, we'll see if you get it the same as last time, is what's your definition of greatness now?

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  My definition of greatness, gosh, I would say my definition of greatness today is evolving, meaning evolving as a person. My greatest personal value is growth. And to be great, I think you have to constantly strive for what, what does great look like now versus what it looked like a year ago? And I think, it's like I said, there's so much possibility and opportunity that's available to all of us if we cling to the future vision we have of ourselves. So greatness to me looks like leveling up consistently as long as you are alive.

• 1:18:20Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Rachel Hollis, thank you. Appreciate it.

• 1:18:24Lewis Howes?

  Thank you, my friends, so much for taking the time to listen to this episode. If you enjoyed it, if you got value out of this interview with me and Rachel, then please let me know by sharing it with a friend. Just copy and paste the link lewishouse.com/1048, or copy and paste wherever you're listening to this, on Apple Podcasts, or Spotify, or any other platform that you listen to podcasts. Take that link and post it far and wide, or just text it to a few friends that you think would enjoy this and gain value out of this wisdom and the experience from Rachel Hollis. And please subscribe to us over on Apple Podcasts. When you click the subscribe button, my heart gets bigger. I feel it. I appreciate it because it shows me that you're interested in growth in your life. You're interested in learning more. You're interested in developing yourself and becoming a better person.

• 1:19:07Lewis Howes?

  So make sure to click that subscribe button right now and leave a rating and review. It'll make my heart feel pretty good. And make sure to text the word PODCAST if you want inspirational messages sent to you every single week from me. Text the word PODCAST to this number, 614-350-3960. I'm so grateful that you're here, and I want to leave you with this quote from Sheryl Sandberg, who said, "Fortune does favor the bold, and you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try." And I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't. I'm telling you right now that you are. I'm grateful for you, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.