1021 How to Connect with Presidents, Royalty & World-Class Celebrities w/Terrence J

“Be specific to who you are and don’t worry about trying to please everybody. You’re not going to be able to please everybody!”On today's podcast, Lewis sits down with three-time Emmy nominee, actor, host, producer, entrepreneur, and philanthropist Terrence J. They dissect Terrence's upbringing, and early career as well as how to create opportunity for yourself, build instant connections with anyone you meet, sustain a Success Mindset throughout your life and so much more! For more, go to: www.lewishowes.com/1021Check out BeWoke. VoteDaymond John on How to Close any Deal and Achieve Any Outcome: https://link.chtbl.com/928-podSara Blakely on Writing Your Billion Dollar Story: https://link.chtbl.com/893-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  Who's the person you've always wanted to have a conversation with that you haven't had yet? Or you haven't met yet?

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Man, let me, let me come back to that. That's a good one. I don't get stumped much. I'll tell you who I'm afraid of, for whatever reason, Jay-Z. I'm even better around Beyonce.

• 0:15Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:39Lewis Howes?

  Entrepreneur Wesem Fazi once said, "Seek connection, not attention. It lasts longer." And journalist Herbert Bernard Swope said, "I can't give you a surefire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure. Try to please everybody all the time." I'm so excited about our guest today. He is someone who truly understands the hustle and grind that it takes to build an empire from the ground up. Three-time Emmy nominee Terrence J. is an actor, host, producer, entrepreneur, and philanthropist who started his career on the radio at just 16 years old. Throughout his extensive career, Terrence has hosted a wide range of live shows from

• 1:23Lewis Howes?

  the VMAs and BET Award pre-shows to the Grammys, Golden Globes, and the Oscars. And I loved having Terrence in the studio to share his extensive knowledge on breaking into the industry, making high-profile connections, and reflecting on his journey to success. Now, this person literally knows everyone, I feel like, in the world. Anyone who's an influencer, celebrity, or decision-maker, he knows them. In this episode, we talk about his top three mentors and the lessons they taught him, how to build deep, meaningful relationships and career opportunities as an introvert, why he should stop being a people-pleaser, and what he learned from this the hard way, the secrets to creating an instant connection with anyone you meet. This will be powerful for so many people who learn this.

• 2:08Lewis Howes?

  The tools for creating... And sustaining a success mindset throughout your life and so much more. This will move you and inspire you. And if it does, make sure to share this with someone who needs to hear it. Just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this right now. Or use LewisHowes.com/1021 and text a friend or post it on social media. And make sure to tag myself and Terrence J as well. So he knows that you're listening to this. And a quick reminder, click that subscribe button over on the School of Greatness. On Apple Podcasts or Spotify and leave us a rating and review while you're listening to this episode. Okay, after a quick message, the one and only Terrence J.

• 2:53Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about our guest, Terrence J in the house. My man.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  My man.

• 2:59Lewis Howes?

  Good to see you, brother.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Good to be here. This is incredible. Your build out is incredible.

• 3:03Lewis Howes?

  Thanks, man. I'm having fun. I'm trying to be, trying to be like you. You are doing everything. You're doing producing, acting, hosting. Now the head of talent and all these different things that you're doing right now. And you've, you've been kind of in mainstream culture for the last, I guess, 15, 20 years now. It seems like you know everyone. It's like, you know Obama, or at least you've been in rooms with Obama and Michelle Ann Barack. You've, you know Beyonce and Jay-Z and Kevin Hart, your buddy, your buddies with. You just know everyone.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why I was so excited to get the invite. I wanted to get to know you. You always pop over my feed.

• 3:39Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 3:39Speaker 01

  You pop over my feed a lot. You must have a deal with Instagram.

• 3:42Lewis Howes?

  That's good.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  You always pop up and I'm always, you know, catching just the quote off of, off of your show that just gets me through the day. So I'm excited to sit down and talk with you, man.

• 3:52Lewis Howes?

  Something that's interesting, I feel like we're, we have a lot of similarities in that you are a master networker and building relationships. I feel like I've done a good job in my industry of building relationships, coming from nothing, just a kid from Ohio that wasn't in this industry.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  Yes, you have.

• 4:06Lewis Howes?

  And just kind of like adding value one person at a time. And building something from nothing and that's something that you've done as well. You've just, okay, let me go put myself out there and get this one gig and then build a relationship and get another gig. How do you feel like you've been able to master the art of relationships over the years with coming from, you know, really not much?

• 4:28Speaker 01

  You know, Will Smith has this video. It's it's super famous online and he talks about.

• 4:33Lewis Howes?

  The treadmill?

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Yes, the treadmill.

• 4:35Lewis Howes?

  So good, man.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  So good. And, you know, I mean, how old is that video? Ten, fifteen years?

• 4:41Lewis Howes?

  At least.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  And, you know, he talks about building that wall and every day just laying down that brick. And what I realize is that every time I walk into a room and I have a conversation with a person, you know, life is not linear. It might not be the next day I'm gonna get a phone call that that was something that led to my next level of success. But it can be two, three years down the line. It can be two, three months. And the dots will just connect or that person will speak about you to this person that may bring you in for this. And so I just try to live my life knowing that every time I walk out of my door, every single person is in my life for a reason and nothing is to be taken for granted and

• 5:24Speaker 01

  and I I just know that, you know, the the the achievements that I want to have are gonna come from the people that I associate with. And so Daymond John told me a a year ago, he was like, your most important asset is your Rolodex. And so I just try to utilize that in the best way I can.

• 5:40Lewis Howes?

  How do you, I hundred percent agree with that. And I think my relationships have have been what got me where I'm at. How do you stay on top of connecting with people? When you've got thousands in your Rolodex and probably hundreds that you're close to on a certain level and then dozens that you're very close with at different stages of your life and season of your life. How do you constantly stay in touch over text and email and phone and meeting a person?

• 6:06Speaker 01

  I am horrible at it. Horrible at it. You know, our primary function of communication is text messaging and there's no organization of text. Right? So on emails, I can put things into buckets and know. You know, all my film stuff goes here, television things go here, all of my, you know, uh, production stuff goes here. And can organize myself based on it, but with text messages, if you get behind in two days, you can get really, you know, lost. So I try, you know, at least once a month to like go through all of my texts. Um, and then another thing that helps me get through

• 6:48Speaker 01

  is I'm always doing something, right? And Instagram and social media has really helped me stay on top of my connections. So even if you hit me to check on me and I forgot about it, if I have another event coming up or a photo shoot or a party that I want to invite you to, I'll go down my Instagram and just invite every single person I know. And so that'll kind of keep me in the loop with people that I might not have contacted along in a long time. So I'm just always staying on top of people. Uh, so social media has helped me with that tremendously because I'm, I'm horrible at it, horrible at it.

• 7:23Lewis Howes?

  Who are, you said Daymond John is a mentor of yours. He's a, he's a buddy of mine as well. He's been on the show a few times. Good guy. Who would you say are the, the three biggest mentors you've had in the last year? Cause you've gone through different stages of your career over the last two decades, but in the last year, a lot has happened in your life, professionally, personally, uh, obviously COVID, the worldwide, uh, wise. Who do you lean on? Three people. And I know it's hard to probably pick three, but who's really helped you in this season of your life?

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Um, Damon's really been, but we'll, we'll, we've already said him.

• 7:56Lewis Howes?

  Mentioned him, yeah. Three new.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  We know Damon. Lena Waithe, um, is incredible. Uh, she reached out to me when I was at a really low point in my life. And it was crazy cause I, because I didn't know her and she reached out when I was going through some, you know, when you wake up one day and it's bad press and you're like, oh man, the world is over. And she just contacted me out of the blue and we've kind of built a relationship over the past two years. And so even though we're similar in age, she's kind of served as a mentor, uh, to me. Kevin Hart, um, just continues to.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  You know, motivate and inspire me in so many ways. You guys have a lot of projects together, right? You've done movies and TV and. Yup, we've done a ton of things together with Kevin and Will Packer, they're great. But Kevin, uh, my birthday was, was this April, it was a couple of months ago. And um, I, I had him on IG live. And I was like, man, I gotta get a gym like yours. And Kevin surprised me by building a gym in my garage. No, he did not. Yes, he built it. Did Boss come out and build it for you? Boss came out and he did the whole thing. You know Boss has all this energy and he's like, we're going to do it. And he built the whole, he put the floors in and the whole thing. Wow. And it, it motivates, so now I'm in the gym every day.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Like I'm, I'm, I'm healthier than I've ever been. And I'm now using this to, to build somebody else a gym. Cause I'm like, Kevin had no business building me a gym, I should've did it on my own. So now I gotta pay it forward for him. But acts of kindness like that, Kevin just, it, it just, it amazes me at Kevin's level of success. His, his level of connectivity and retention for, for things. He'll remember something we talked about six years ago. Really? And be like, yo, you didn't do this idea we talked about, like what, what are you doing? And so Kevin's really good at that. So I'll say Kevin, I'll say Lena, and then um, you know, you know who else? I'll say my parents, who I didn't, you, I've always been close with them, but more in a peripheral capacity.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  And I've really taken this time over COVID to push myself to talk to them every day. So, so um, I, I just shot a movie with Deion Taylor, but prior to that, I was speaking with them every single day. We were either texting or doing um, you know, photos or something to each other. And now I try to, you know, every other day, every two days, I try to talk to them. And, and just having that level of communication has really inspired me as well. And you're, you're raised by a single mom, right? Or did you have a step, stepdad? My stepdad came into the picture when I was like three, four years old. Gotcha, so your mom had you when she was seventeen? Yeah, yeah, she had me at a really young age. And you'd never met your father? Is he, is he alive today? Do you know, is he? I, I don't know um, at all.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  For years, it was a, it was just a touchy spot and.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  I I had always, there there was a certain point where I felt like, oh, man, I don't wanna reach out to this guy. Because he wasn't there for my mom and he wasn't there for me, so.

• 10:54Lewis Howes?

  Why why care about him, yeah.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Exactly. Then there was a certain time where I was like, oh, well, now if I reach out to him, he's gonna want something, right? Um, and and now I'm at a place, I'm at a different place of of of maturity. And understanding, and I hope he's alive, I would now. Talk to him and communicate with him, because I think now at this stage of manhood, like, I I wonder what. The perspective of having me was like for him.

• 11:28Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Meaning I I know my mom's version of this story, and I know my rendition of how my life went. But I'm sure him having me, I don't I don't know any of what he was thinking, so I would love to hear that. And then also, you know, as we get older, I'm wondering what health-wise is gonna be wrong with me? Do I have other siblings? So, yeah, so now I am starting to think about those things and and hopefully it's not too late.

• 11:52Lewis Howes?

  Huh. Do you know how you can get in contact with him, or where you'd even start?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  No, um, I I mean, I have resources, I could I could figure it out. It's just gonna be, one day I'll wake up and actually do it. Uh, today's not that day.

• 12:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  But, yeah, one day, one day.

• 12:09Lewis Howes?

  For sure.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  And and and do it.

• 12:10Lewis Howes?

  Well, you wrote a a book about the wisdom from your mom, kind of lessons from your mom that she brought to you. What was the main lesson she taught you that really has stuck with you your entire life?

• 12:20Speaker 01

  To never give up, to never ever give up. My mom, you know, got pregnant with me at seventeen, had me at a young age. Uh, a lot of people, you know, could have called it quits, but she, you know, she strapped me to her back and moved us from New York down to North Carolina and, you know, worked multiple jobs with my stepdad and raised me. And then, you know, she ended up going back to school and, you know, achieving her dreams and they built their own house. And so I'm very proud of of her, and she just would always. Tell me like, you know, whatever it is, just don't give up. And that's just always been my mentality is just, you know, whatever, there's nothing that's unachievable in life besides me making the NBA.

• 13:06Lewis Howes?

  You like to hoop a lot, don't you?

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I'm not any good anymore, but.

• 13:09Lewis Howes?

  Love to play sometime, I love to hoop.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, yeah, well, I don't know, you're a big guy.

• 13:13Lewis Howes?

  I know, I'm a big guy.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  You're a big guy, I don't know how I would do out there.

• 13:17Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, what is the lesson? Your dad taught you in his absence? The greatest lesson he's taught you? Even though you've never met with him? Has he ever seen you? That he was he there when you were born in the first few weeks, or was he around?

• 13:32Speaker 01

  My mom tells me, uh, and again, these are, you know, it was always for, for your entire life, something is a fact. And then at a certain age, you realize that, you know, it's, it's my mother's perception of what it was. Right? It could still be a fact, I just, you know, I am, I am open to the possibility that things might have been different from a different perspective, right? She, she says that when I was an infant, she ran into him at a corner store, bodega in New York City somewhere. And, and that she told him to buy me like some formula, some diapers, so that she could always say that he gave me something.

• 14:13Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  And, uh, so I do know that, that story, I just don't know anything really else. And again, I, my mom is such a terrific mom. And I was blessed to have an incredible stepdad. And I was, you know, I was raised in a, in a multicultural home. My stepdad is Puerto Rican and, and he, and he looks white. Uh, and so I was just raised with, you know, my mom, Christian background, dad, Catholic background, Hispanic, and he could speak Spanish.

• 14:44Lewis Howes?

  Do you speak Spanish?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  No, I don't, but I was raised around it, I should be able to. And so I was raised with all those upbringing. But what lesson did my dad teach me?

• 14:53Lewis Howes?

  In his absence.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  In his, in his absence is, you know, i- is that there, there's such an idealism that having two parents or having this perfect American dream of a family is the recipe for success. And I think that I am a, an example of having a very spliced upbringing in the nineteen eighties in New York City. And, and you know, I went to multiple high schools, multiple middle schools, traveled up and down from New York to, and so I, I, I have a lot of the ingredients for a crazy person. Uh, but luckily I haven't turned out too crazy yet.

• 15:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Not all the way there, but, but you know, I think you can achieve anything even if you don't have certain things in your life.

• 15:39Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh. Now, I s- I heard somewhere that you're an introvert. Is that true? You're like introverted?

• 15:45Speaker 01

  I, I am to a certain extent.

• 15:46Lewis Howes?

  You're a certain extent? Is that true or not? I heard that somewhere. Maybe, maybe you said that in an interview somewhere that I saw.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have a facade of a personality that I kinda put on when I walk outside of the house.

• 15:57Lewis Howes?

  But you're outgoing and this.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm, but unless I'm genuinely interested, like I'm ge- like I'm, I'm very, like I'm very curious about you and your business, so I'm very excited to be here. Uh, because I, I, there are certain things that, you know, will bring me out of my shell. But besides that, I'm like super like introverted. But then I throw these really big parties at my house too, so I'm kinda like Great Gatsby as well, so it's kinda, you know.

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  How does an intro- introverted person build, uh, this, this kind of mass connection lifestyle? Where you're connected to everyone, you have a big personality on, on screen, on interviews, things like that. How do you, uh, how do you build deeper relationships when you kind of are more introverted? Cause I think that's exhausting for a lot of introverts.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:39Lewis Howes?

  To be around a lot of people all the time.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a defense mechanism. And then, once I was able to monetize it and socialize it and understand the value of it. Uh, I was able to utilize it when I needed to. And, like I said, I do love people and I love the core of humanity. And I I still believe in people and so the so it's not always putting it on, right? There are certain things that I love, love doing. Uh, but I can also like completely, you know, be in my house for forty eight hours. Working on a script, not talk to anybody, you know, my you I'm like I said earlier, I'm notoriously horrible at following up on text messages.

• 17:25Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  You know, contacting people and Tiffany's over there like, yeah, I know. You know what I mean? Yeah, and so, uh, so you you know, when when you go to so many different schools growing up. And you have to switch your friendships and make new friends and all those things. You kind of turn into a sociopath to a certain extent, right? You always gotta blend in, right? And so, you you know, you develop a big classroom personality to get yourself through and to to make friends. And then, once I was able to transition that personality into a radio personality and then a TV personality. Then I was able to kind of, you know, function at a higher level of doing big shows and and doing those things.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  But then coming off camera and and, you know, really, you know, having two or three people in my life that I'm like obsessed with.

• 18:11Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  And then that's that's it. And then I'm obsessed with animals too, so.

• 18:14Lewis Howes?

  Are you?

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I'm obsessed.

• 18:15Lewis Howes?

  You have dogs and cats or?

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:17Lewis Howes?

  Both?

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Just dogs.

• 18:19Lewis Howes?

  Just dogs. How many do you have?

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Uh, three now.

• 18:21Lewis Howes?

  I've got a little Pomeranian.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  The best.

• 18:23Lewis Howes?

  My girlfriend does, it's mine though now, so.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, you know how that is.

• 18:27Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  He probably loves you too.

• 18:29Lewis Howes?

  Oh, she loves me.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  She loves you.

• 18:30Lewis Howes?

  Loves me.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Loves you, that's how it is.

• 18:33Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, uh, what would you say is your greatest superpower and your biggest defect?

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Man.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  I guess my greatest superpower is, is I think people skills. I am, you'd be hard pressed to find somebody that you can dump off in any type of room and adjust accordingly.

• 18:56Lewis Howes?

  From the most influential to the everyday person and yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can, I can, you know, be in the White House with the Obama administration, of course. I could be in that White House and function in a presidential library with scholars and dignitaries and princes and presidents. And then I could be, you know, with TI at the Trap Museum in Atlanta, you know, rolling dice, right? I could, I could kinda function in, in, in, in, in all those spaces.

• 19:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and your greatest defect?

• 19:30Speaker 01

  I got too many to name.

• 19:33Lewis Howes?

  You're like, which ex-girlfriend should I ask?

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, you can ask any one of them and they'll, they'll probably have their own laundry list.

• 19:39Lewis Howes?

  What do you think is the, the thing that's holding you back from the next level on your dreams? Your career dreams, your life goals, what's that thing? It's not a defect, but maybe it's just something that you see, ah, I need to become better at this.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Definitely, you know, I, I have such a macro point of view on so many things. That when I, like at any given time, I'm working on eight different projects. And because of that, you know, most of them will never come to light, right? I'll never get any of those eight done. Uh, I might get one out of eight done and it won't even be at my maximum capacity because I'm not great at focusing, right? I have.

• 20:18Lewis Howes?

  Me too, yeah. So many projects, it's so fun to have so many different things happening.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  You know, and, and then I end up, I, I end up working for everybody. Like right now, I work for everybody.

• 20:30Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 20:31Speaker 01

  You know, it'll be, one person will call me, you know, uh, my, my good friend Kenya Barris might say, hey, you know, let's do a dinner on this weekend, let's put a good group together. Now I'm in, you know, Lenny S.

• 20:44Lewis Howes?

  All your energy is on that weekend.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  I gotta make sure Kenya's dinner is perfect, you know? I gotta make sure the guest list, Mark Burnett will call me and say, all right, we're doing this show. And then I'm like, okay, we're all, and so I'm so easily distracted, so easily pulled, um, in different directions. And again, the, the problem is when, when I didn't have anything, when I didn't have any money. It was a lot easier for me to focus, right? Because I knew I had to like do something to make money.

• 21:13Lewis Howes?

  To make a dollar.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. But then when you wake up and you don't have to worry as much about money, then it just becomes like, what am I gonna do today? Right?

• 21:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  And then, and that's a dangerous position to be in. Uh, so that's my biggest thing is now like focusing. I've kind of taken, I would say like the last year off, if that.

• 21:34Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  You know, I've kind of, I've taken a lot of time to just like be. I, I started working when I was 16 years old and went straight through. Um, and I've been under contract. Uh, I've been under contract where there's a morality clause. Every, every day of my life since I was 16 years old. So either I was from, you know.

• 21:58Lewis Howes?

  Meaning what? Meaning morality clause, what do you mean? Like you can't get into trouble?

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, meaning, you know, I was on commercial radio at 16 years old. I was on commercial radio all through high school. I started working for NASCAR right after. I started working at, I was at BET for eight years or something like that, seven years. I was at E! News for three years. I have an MTV deal. So I, I mean, meaning to say, if I ever did some crazy stuff, there was always in the back of my mind, I can directly lose this pot of money.

• 22:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  So I've always just operated like, you, you know.

• 22:34Lewis Howes?

  Cautiously.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  I've always operated cautiously.

• 22:36Lewis Howes?

  So now that you've been free for a year, are you just like reckless and just like, now I can do everything crazy I wanna do?

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:42Lewis Howes?

  I don't care what happens and this and that?

• 22:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cross the board.

• 22:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Fun, fun. Absolutely.

• 22:48Lewis Howes?

  That's great, man. What would you say is the main vision for your life moving forward after 21 years of doing everything and going all in on so many different projects? Do you have a main focus right now? Or is it still in discovery mode for the next stage?

• 23:06Speaker 01

  The loss, our collective loss of Chadwick Boseman uh has really changed my life. Were you pretty close? Not, not that close. Yeah. Definitely a, a, a solid rapport, um but I admired him tremendously. Uh and I looked up to him a lot and you know, every time we would meet each other, see each other in public, we'd have a, a, a conversation and you know, he'd be like, oh man, you the man T and I'd be like, no, you, you are incredible. And I, I think, you know, and I say our collective law, cause he was all of our Black Panther, right? We, we all lost Chadwick and, and to see the response after his loss,

• 23:48Speaker 01

  not just about his films and his work, but who he was as, as a person, right? The amount of time that he spent at hospitals with kids, the amount of time that he spent giving back. And even just the mentality to not let people know that you were going through something, right? I'm such a big mouth that, you know, if something was wrong with me, everybody, I'm gonna have a whole tour. Everybody, come visit me, come see me, I'm hurt, right? I'm gonna have a whole pity, but the fact that he was like so like strong to personally go through something like that, right? It, it like his whole life is just really inspired me.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  And so for me, like I know that, like if, I know that if I died tomorrow, like I got a, I've done a lot of work, right? There, you know, I'm hoping BET would be able to have a whole day dedicated towards things that I've done, right? I was on this TV show, I put out these movies, like your work will live on, right? Yeah. But I wanna, I wanna make a bigger impact on people. I want to right all wrongs that I've done in my life. Any business, any personal relationships, any family, anything that, that I've

• 25:10Speaker 01

  had a deficiency in or I, I didn't, you know, nurture, I wanna, I wanna spend my, the biggest part of my life nurturing that, I wanna give back more. I want to help more, I want to inspire more, I want to be a better person.

• 25:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Um, cause that's really, that's really all it boils down to. It's like, you know, we've, we've lost this last year, 2022, we've lost some incredible people. We've lost Kobe Bryant, you know, I'm still missing Nipsey Hussle. I'm still, you know, there was a, a, a young rapper who's phenomenal named Pop Smoke, who I got to spend a lot of time with, uh, before he passed, uh, you know, in his, in his very early twenties. And it's like, when, when you look at this, this has been a hard year, you know?

• 25:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  And, and for me, more than anything, I just want to impact people in a positive way.

• 26:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. We had Kobe on, Tiffany was there when we filmed and interviewed. It was really powerful episode and interview for me. Were you pretty close with Kobe? I know you spent some times with him, but.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  You know, 10, 15 year relationship of just, you know? And again, you know, in our industry, closest, you know, you have your close, and then you have the people that you see once a year, every year for 15 years, right? And it's like, it's, it's, it's crazy, you know, I'm, I'm 38 years old, you know, to lose people in our age range, you know?

• 26:34Lewis Howes?

  It's weird.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  It's the weirdest thing. And it's like, you know, you know, if you had some time with Kobe, you know how inspiring he was.

• 26:42Lewis Howes?

  Game changer. What was the big lesson he taught you from, from knowing him personally, but also just experiencing him from afar?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Man.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  So, uh, Michael B. Jordan had the premiere for Just Mercy. Uh, this is three weeks before Kobe passed.

• 27:01Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Kobe hosted the premiere. Me and Kobe hosted the premiere for, it was for Mike and Jamie Foxx. And, um.

• 27:09Lewis Howes?

  Great movie, by the way.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Brie Larson, uh, was backstage, she's in Just Mercy. And, uh, and so it's, it's me, Kobe Bryant and Brie Larson randomly sitting backstage, waiting for Jamie Foxx to stop doing his comedy act, right? Random. Night that I'll always remember and so I'm sitting kind of in the middle of them. And all of a sudden, I I I use my, you know, my, our hosting skills, I kind of just.

• 27:41Lewis Howes?

  Comedian skills.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I just kind of started connecting dots in a weird way.

• 27:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  Right between the two of them and I was like, man, you know, uh, you know, you're Captain Marvel and did you go watch? Cause sometimes it's hard for people to connect.

• 27:57Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  And I remember he was giving her advice via me and and the conversation was was pretty much just on like being a champion and and going after success. And what he said was that, uh, it doesn't matter how much you accomplish, you know, on the field in work or whatever. He was saying that his biggest accomplishment was being the high school coach for his his daughter. And that spending time with her was was more important to him than any other chips that he won.

• 28:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  And I remember like looking at that and I was like, oh, my God, you know, this guy who is, you know, my favorite, top three on anybody's list is saying now that doesn't matter all the dunks, all the chips, all the MVPs. Family is the most important. So for me, I gotta start family. I gotta, you know. I don't have any kids. I'm getting old. I gotta, I gotta figure that out within the next year. So that's definitely like moved to my priority list.

• 28:58Lewis Howes?

  Who's been the most impressive person you've ever interviewed or met or worked with on set that you were just like? Three sixty approach, because there's some people like they're incredible at their career, but eh, not that good in family or relationships. There's some people that are great in relationships. There's some people are good in their health. Others are great in career, but eh, a little obese or whatever. It's like, who have you seen is like three sixty? Whole human approach, just like you're an unbelievable human being all around. Obviously, no one's perfect and they got their flaws.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  I can name two people. The most impressive would be Michelle Obama.

• 29:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Uh, she is just impressive and whatever.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  There there so you could be around her in a room, right? She could be on the other side of the room. And you won't see any handlers like near them, right? There's nobody that comes over and whispers in their ear. So then when when it connects with you and then she'll come talk to you like ten minutes later. And she'll be like personal on you. But oh, yo, how's it going with such and such? And I'm like, how do you? Because you gotta retain so much. So I I I am always impressed with like her level of retention and how she operates. I think Michelle Obama is just phenomenal. And then I don't know why he popped into my mind. But like the nicest guy I know is Jason Kennedy. Do you know Jason Kennedy?

• 30:21Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  Jason Kennedy is just like one of the nicest guys I know. I don't know why J K popped into my mind. But J K is like one of the nicest guys I know. If I if I could like him and his whole crew of like Judah and all those guys.

• 30:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  If I could like be nice like a person like genuinely.

• 30:35Lewis Howes?

  He's very nice.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, J K is like one of the nicest guys.

• 30:38Lewis Howes?

  Because he's on E News, is that right? Or is he on a what was the?

• 30:41Speaker 01

  He's on E, yeah, he's on E News and.

• 30:43Lewis Howes?

  You guys work together?

• 30:44Speaker 01

  We work together, yeah. We we we co anchored E News for a while together. And he's just like a really nice guy.

• 30:48Lewis Howes?

  He's a good human being.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  He's a good human being, yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know, he might have a torture chamber in uh. Jason, you might have a torture chamber in your garage. I don't know. But as far as I could tell, you're one of the nicest.

• 31:00Lewis Howes?

  What do you think it takes to be a great host? Of a show, of a, you know, an event of anything? Because you've done it all. You've done celebrity stuff, red carpet hosting to events to Miss America or Miss USA. I'm not sure what it's called anymore, but you've done it all. How what's it what's it take to be someone who wants to be a great host? Whether they want to be on a show or hosting a show, but just a great host in their life? For their local events, for their friends and family. What do you think it takes?

• 31:30Speaker 01

  You want like broad or like some specific like?

• 31:32Lewis Howes?

  Both, yeah.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Um, some specific things that pop into my head. Uh, read a lot and do your research, right? The more you know about whatever you're going into, the better you're gonna be.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Another specific thing that gets me through a lot. Don't try to pronounce or say a name if you don't know how to pronounce or say that name. Just ask them. Just either ask the name, count on your lower thirds to protect you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait for a producer to tell you in your ear if it's a live event. Or, you know, you know, the worst thing is if being on a red carpet. And interviewing a musician and you don't know how to say their name and saying it wrong and getting corrected. You've lost it. You've lost it. You're better off just staying evergreen and saying, how does it feel to be, you're just staying evergreen. Don't try to say a name wrong. That's, I just, I never try to get people's name wrong, cause that's, you know, it's important. It's very personal too and intimate. Very.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  I'm sure I've messed it up many times. We all have. Uh, big, big, uh, macro level things. Um, be yourself. Have fun. Yeah. Smile, um, know your audience. Uh huh. And, uh, you know, hosting has changed a lot. Um, do you watch The Boys on Amazon? I don't. You have to see it. It's incredible. Yeah, tell me about it. There's this superhero named Homelander, right? Okay. And he's so used to being like everybody's favorite hero that in this season, uh, there's like adversity and people like are starting not to like him, right? And one of the other superheroes tells him, she's like, look,

• 33:15Speaker 01

  you gotta stop trying to be a superhero for everybody. The world just doesn't work. This ain't the sixties. You can't be, there's no more Johnny Carson. You just aren't it for everybody anymore, right? Stop focusing on being the greatest person for three hundred million Americans. And, and be, if you can be great for fifty million. Being specific, do that, right?

• 33:39Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  And that's been one of the hardest things in my life. Is that my personality type is like I feed off of love, I feed off of energy. And I'm so used to, you know, being cool and everybody loving me and, you know, this, the world now is not like that. Like, people will hate you just because a lot of people like you, right? And so, my advice to young hosts is to just be specific to who you are. And don't worry about trying to please everybody. You're not gonna be able to please everybody.

• 34:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Focus on who you, who you are, focus on your craft, and the people that are supposed to love you will love you. And then those that don't, you don't have to worry about it, you know? But, there's enough to go around for everybody, so just focus on being you.

• 34:22Lewis Howes?

  For someone that wants to, as the people pleaser in you, like I do as well, you want everyone to love you? How do you get over that when someone doesn't love you?

• 34:30Speaker 01

  Oh, it's the hardest thing in the world for me, right? And I'm still not over it, right? I can, I can post a photo and have a hundred comments that are positive. But if one hundred and one is like, "Fuck this guy." My whole afternoon is like, "Man, what did I do to..." You know what I'm saying? Like, and so, I, I, you know, it, it's, it, it, it, it takes really loving yourself. This quarantine has been amazing for me in that regard of like, you know, I can't do shows anymore and feel the love. I gotta really-

• 35:03Lewis Howes?

  And hug it out and be like, "Yo, what's up?", yeah.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  I gotta love myself.

• 35:06Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  And that's, and that's been the greatest thing. And then when you love yourself and you realize like, if, if, if I operate from an honest space, and I operate from the space that, that God is flowing through me, what I say, even if the message is not for everybody, I'm operating from truth. And there's nothing more powerful than that.

• 35:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How did you learn to love yourself?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Um, it's a process. It's uh surrounding, you know, your yourself with the the right people that will will love you for you, right? I I've had times in my life where I was surrounded by the right wrong people.

• 35:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  And it's hard to love yourself when you have negative energy that's directly in front of you, right? Meaning if I wake up in the morning and say, you know what, today I'm gonna change the world and I'm, you know, with the person that's saying, you ain't gonna change nothing. It's hard to overcome that, right? So surrounding yourself with the right people.

• 36:04Lewis Howes?

  How do you surround yourself with the right people in the world of Hollywood and the world of entertainment? When sometimes you don't know i- if someone's trying to connect with you for another reason, or if they're genuine, can they really open up to you? How do you find yourself being able to be discerning with other people that you're meeting? To know like if this is gonna be someone you wanna build a deeper relationship with?

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:25Lewis Howes?

  Or if they're just trying to get something from you?

• 36:28Speaker 01

  I think it comes with maturity. I think it comes with time. I think instinctually at age thirty eight, I'm I'm a better judge of character and intention than I was at age twenty eight. And a much better judge of character and intention than I was at age eighteen. Um, so I think with with with time, you're able to kinda differentiate what it is.

• 36:47Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Uh, for for me, um, it's it's

• 36:54Speaker 01

  it's being around, y- you know, I I would always surround myself with people I had to help. Now, I'm very keen to surround my people, self with people that can help me, right? I would have, I I've had a person like Daymond John, who we've mentioned in my life for years and years. I've never asked him for anything. Right? I've never asked him to like, hey, help me, be my mentor. Like, you know, I'm in, I, you know, last year I was in ten million dollar tax bracket. How do I crack a hundred million dollar tax bracket for next year, right? And so, and he was like, wait for you to ask me that. Let's talk. And so it's it's reaching out to the people that you respect, to the people that you love.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  And and you know, and then knowing where you wanna make new friendships and relationships, right? Like if you and me become friends, I'm gonna help you and you're gonna help me, right? And it's gonna be a mutually beneficial thing to people from completely different walks of life. But you can already tell by sitting down, just the positive energy, right? I don't want anything from you. You don't want anything from me. But that's how you make, that's how you make the best friendships and relationships. Cause then it's just, it's it's building from a a place of love and respect. And so that's how I've tried to surround myself with those people. I still have day one people around me, yes. But I now try to, you know, I wake up and I have conversations with people that I wanna have conversations with.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  As opposed to allowing, you know, my man from the hood that just always, oh my god, I can't, I can't do, you know, I can't always do that.

• 38:23Lewis Howes?

  Who's the person you've always wanted to have a conversation with that you haven't had yet, or you haven't met yet? Cause you've interviewed everyone, it seems like. Who's that person? I mean, you've literally talked to everyone, I feel like, but.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Man, let me, let me come back to that. That's a good one. I don't get stumped much. I wanna give you a good answer. I'll tell you who I'm afraid of, for whatever reason, Jay-Z. Still to this day.

• 38:46Lewis Howes?

  You've interviewed him though, right?

• 38:47Speaker 01

  Not just interviewed, I go to his house for New Year. It's just one of those people. I'm even better around Beyonce.

• 38:54Lewis Howes?

  What is it about Jay-Z that makes you nervous or?

• 38:56Speaker 01

  So, so I'm, I'm, I'm, so Lydia, who's Jay, one of Jay-Z's best friends, is my roommate, right? And so.

• 39:05Lewis Howes?

  Right now?

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Right now, right?

• 39:07Lewis Howes?

  Jay-Z's best friend is your roommate?

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Jay-Z's best friend.

• 39:10Lewis Howes?

  You spend weekends with him, you're at New Year's parties, you're hanging out.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Could not see the guy more, right? And I've known the guy fifteen years.

• 39:20Lewis Howes?

  Jay-Z or his friend?

• 39:22Speaker 01

  Both.

• 39:22Lewis Howes?

  Okay, yeah.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  For whatever reason.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  For whatever reason, I don't know, I guess it's just something about Jay. I don't know, I just, he's the one person I freeze up around. I don't freeze up around Obama. Uh, I spend a ton of time with Kanye, Beyonce, Rihanna, I love. Jay-Z is the one person, uh, I could be around Brad Pitt, George Clooney, it doesn't matter. Jay-Z's the one guy who I get around. I don't know why, I don't know why. Jay's just too cool.

• 39:51Lewis Howes?

  After fifteen years of being around him.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  There's always that one, there's always that one, yeah. And, and, and so Lenny S, who's my roommate, his friend, he, uh, he tears me a new one every time. He's like, "I could not have given you more alley-oop." And he was like, "And Jay-Z can smell your fear." He smells your fear.

• 40:08Lewis Howes?

  He sees you trembling.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  He smells your blood, he can smell it in the water. I'm like, "Oh my god, I can't, I just can't, I always fumble when I'm on it."

• 40:18Lewis Howes?

  Uh, how often do you experience self-doubt? Is it just around Jay-Z, or is there when you're launching a new movie or a project?

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Oh, no, every day, you know, every day. I, uh, you know, I'm doubtful about something, you know? Um, I'm a, I'm a very, I have a very big personality. And I have a lot of energy that I put out into the world. And, you know, I'm, I'm very proud of what I've accomplished. But I'm, I'm always, you know, there's always doubt. Um, I think my ability to overcome that doubt is, is why I've been able to be successful. Right? So, when I was at 106 and Park, you know, there weren't a lot of multi-hyphenates at the time, like they are now.

• 41:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  And, you know, I wanted to be an actor, and there were a lot of people that told me I couldn't do that. And I had a lot of self-doubt. But it's my, it's, it's my, my ability to say, "Yo, forget it and go after it," that allows me to do both. Um, so I, I think, yeah, but I have self-doubt every day.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  And that's okay, yeah.

• 41:24Lewis Howes?

  What are the three things you do to improve your self-confidence when you doubt yourself?

• 41:31Speaker 01

  What do I do to improve my self-confidence? You know, I don't.

• 41:38Lewis Howes?

  How do you not stay stuck in the doubt? You know what I mean? It's like, cause a lot of people in the world doubt themselves on a new project, or meeting someone, or whatever it may be. Just going to their job and presenting something new. They doubt themselves. How do you continue to say, "I feel this, but I'm gonna do it anyways." And put it out there. Hopefully it works.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  So that's a, it's a joint thing for my career. And it kinda goes to what I was saying earlier. So the, the whole first half of your career, almost the first half of your life, you, you're operating off of a necessity, right? When I was coming out of college, I had student loans. I was poor. I was living on, in my best friend's basement, right? And so, any self-doubt that I had was overshadowed by my need to pay rent, right? And because of that, I was able to overcome it. Cause it's like, alright, if I don't do this, I can't eat tonight, right? And so, that, that is a driving factor like no other. When you're rich, it becomes a lot harder.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Because you, you, uh, uh, maybe not just rich. When you've acquired success and people have seen your level of success, then it's, it's scarier because now you don't have to do things. And if you do things and fail at them, you can really suffer embarrassment, right? Meaning if I would've failed coming out of college, nobody would've saw it.

• 43:01Lewis Howes?

  No one cares. Yeah, your mom or whatever. Yeah, it's like, okay, your buddy you're living off of the basement with.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  Whatever, right?

• 43:07Lewis Howes?

  Keep going.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Now, if I, you know, I have three million followers on Instagram. Three point one, right? If I put out a product and I feel like it crashes and burns, there are three million immediate people that are gonna look at me, blogs that'll pick it up if I do something bad, right? So, getting over this self-doubt almost becomes more complicated when you have more to lose. I think in order to overcome. All of that, you just have to dig deep, believe in yourself, believe in something higher than you. You know, believe in God or believe in whatever it is that gets you through it. And like I said, for for me, it's surrounding myself with the the ecosystem of of support and love is like,

• 43:47Speaker 01

  you know, when I go through it, I I have the people that I call that help pull me out of the grave. And and because of that, you know, I I'm invincible and and and because of enough of that, it's all in me. And if I had to do it on my own, I can't.

• 44:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What do you think is the thing you haven't yet healed from your past?

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 44:11Lewis Howes?

  I'm a big, I'm a big believer that uh if there's um pain from our past, it could be a small pain, like last week I got in an argument with someone and I haven't healed it yet. Or something from childhood, you know, for me, I went through sexual abuse when I was a kid. And it was something I held on to for twenty five years until I started to to heal it. When I was thirty, about seven years ago. There's always a pain or something unhealed from our past. And I think it's always gonna hold us back or it's gonna create negative emotions somewhere if we don't learn to heal those things. So I'm curious, is there any unhealed situations, experiences from your past? Whether it be recent or?

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Man, um, yeah, I would have to really self analyze and dig deep to to give you, I mean, clearly, I'm sure that, you know, never meeting my biological dad, you know, plays a part in, you know, and and being an only child plays a part in my detachment from other people and my, you know, inability to sometimes connect in relationships. Um, I'm sure that all of my many failed past relationships have have led to, you know, fear of commitment, fear of, you know, getting my heart broken again, fear of breaking hearts again, you know, um.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Career wise has been pretty on par with what I've wanted. But you know, I haven't always been the best version of myself, right? There are sets that I might have been root on. You know, times in my career where I wasn't, you know, at peace with myself or I was going through things. And so, you know, I just, again, like I was saying, you know, I'm just at a place now where all of the pain body and all of the experiences now have kind of just compartmentalized it into one thing. And just using it all as fuel to move forward. You know, I just, I want to wake up every day now and be the best version of myself.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  And have every single person when I walk on set, I want every single human being that I come like, yo, he's a nice guy. He was good, great, you know, he was on time. I was 10 minutes late, but he was on, he was here, he was great.

• 46:33Lewis Howes?

  Text me early, let me know, yeah. Yeah, it's funny, I was asking, you know, Essence, Essence the actress.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I was texting her before, it's a friend of mine, and I was like, you ever worked with her? She's like, yeah, we worked on, I think you guys worked on a movie together on a set for something, some project, yeah. She was like, yeah, he's always been a great guy, stand-up guy, so.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Oh, that means a lot. Essence is incredible.

• 46:54Lewis Howes?

  Amazing actress.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Oh my, amazing person too.

• 46:56Lewis Howes?

  Great person, great human being, yeah.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Incredible, incredible.

• 47:01Lewis Howes?

  I want to talk about commitment issues for a second because I feel like we're very similar in the fact that I've always wanted to like find love and be in great relationships, but then I'm always afraid to fully commit. Of like, whatever reason, missing out on other opportunities or is it going to pull me back from my dreams and my career? Is it going to take time away from something? I feel like I'm in the right relationship now and it's been amazing to experience the other side. What do you think is the reason why you've had commitment challenges in the past and relationships in general? Not with a specific person, but just what do you think that is? That holds you back from going all in on a relationship? Um, and want to be committed, I guess, long-term?

• 47:41Speaker 01

  I'm I'm sure that there's an educated way to say it. I'm sure that there's, you know, I we could dig into the male psyche. What's the raw, the raw reason? Yeah, but the raw, you know, I've just, I've I've a lot of things up, right? And I've made a lot of mistakes. And so whether or not it was the mistakes that I made in a relationship, trusting the wrong people, going down the wrong, you know, regardless of of any of the relationships that I've ever been in. I just, I'm I'm at a place now of like, look, I gotta take responsibility for, I've never been perfect in a relationship. And I gotta take responsibility for that, right?

• 48:22Speaker 01

  I've always contributed to the demise, right? Of that relationship. One hundred percent, one hundred percent. And so for any, there's not, there's not one ex-girlfriend that I can look at and say it was all their fault, right? They could probably look at me and say it was all his fault. But there's not one that I can look at and say it was all their fault, right? So at this stage in my life now, it's self reflecting and looking and saying, okay, here are the things that I've heard about myself, right? Here are the goals that I wanna accomplish in a relationship. Here are the things that have held me back from getting there. And, you know, these are the things that I gotta do to get what I want, right?

• 49:06Speaker 01

  And and so, you know, a a lot of guys cheat, right? Cheating is a is is is a thing that happens. I feel cheating is connected with the universe. You always get caught, right? So even if you don't get caught by the person, the universe will catch you, right? And so if you look at why some of your relationships fail, it's because you weren't a good guy. You didn't do the right things, right? I'll tell you a story, dating a girl. This must have been. Ten, no, it may have been like thirteen years ago. And a group of friends of mine were in Miami. And the girl, I lived with the girl in New York, right? And the group of friends were like, let's just go to DR.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic and just get in trouble. And you're in, you're in North Carolina, you're in New York. I'm in New York. Yeah. And I'm in a, I'm in a committed relationship, right? And so. And she doesn't go with you to DR? No, she wasn't in Miami. She knew I was in Miami, right? But there's nothing but trouble. DR is a very fun place. Yeah. To get yourself in trouble. So me and the fellas, we, we were on a flight and then we hop a little extra flight to DR, right? And we do an extra little weekend and we get, we get in all types of trouble, all types of bad trouble in DR, right? Come back home and I rip a page because you, when. This is pre-social media. This is pre-social media. This is like, yeah. One hundred percent.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  So they stamp my passport in DR, right? You just came from Dominican Republic. Boom. Right? So on my way home, I'm thinking in advance, I'm like, you know what? I'm about to travel with my girl. I'm gonna take this page out of my passport. No, you did not. Just in case she happens to hold the passports and look at them. Isn't that illegal or something?

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Get back, have the, uh, girl doesn't know I went to DR. No idea. In the relationship, everything's fine. Time goes by, everything's fine. More time goes by, everything's fine. End the relationship on some mutual, mutually beneficial things. Yeah, yeah. Everything was fine. That whole relationship, I got away with it, right? I thought everything was gonna be fine, right? Started dating a new girl. I'm in it. I'm fully in love. Excited. I think this girl is everything, right? Go, I go on a trip with the new girl, right? We go, we're headed to, uh, an island.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  And when I land in that island, and this was a year and a half after I'd done the jerk. I land on the island and they don't let me in because my passport was tampered with and it wasn't a legit passport, right?

• 51:58Speaker 01

  The girl who I liked, we had a whole group of friends. The girl who I liked, I was like, just go ahead and go on a trip. They won't let you. So when I landed, they was like, you have two choices. Either we can wait for the judge to come look at your passport and approve it.

• 52:11Lewis Howes?

  It can take three days.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  It can take three days. But if not, you have to stay in jail overnight, or you can fly back home. So I flew back home immediately. And the girl that I liked met a new guy on that trip.

• 52:22Lewis Howes?

  No, he didn't.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  That she started dating and she left me for.

• 52:25Lewis Howes?

  She did not.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  One hundred percent, right?

• 52:27Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  And all I could do was laugh. Because the dirt that I had done within a different relationship in a whole different time came back to me with my messed up passport, because I was, right? And so, what you realize is that karma is, is, it will always come back for you. It will always, and it might not be, you might not get caught for the crime that you committed. But if you do dirt, you will get caught. It will happen to you. It'll be something else that you want. And it'll happen to you, and you will get caught. So that's always my lesson, like, with, with, with moving forward is like, I'm trying to operate just being a good person, knowing that the universe will take care of me. Because if you don't, you will go down.

• 53:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's interesting, because the relationship I'm in now, within the first week or two of us kind of starting the date, I opened up about just everything from my past. I was like, you know, here's where I did right, here's where I did wrong, everything, right? Clean, like about everything. And she goes, "One thing I request from you, you can always be honest with me and tell me the truth." And I said, "Are you sure?" Because I don't know if you could handle it. Because most relationships, I tell the truth, they can't handle it. That's why I hold back a little bit sometimes, and then it turns more and more. And I said, "Are you sure?" She said, "Yes, I can." And it feels amazing. Now, there's times where I tell her the truth where she can't handle it. And it's hard, because it's a challenging conversation. Not because I did something wrong, but she just didn't like the truth, or whatever it was.

• 53:57Lewis Howes?

  But it feels amazing to be a hundred percent clean on your side of the street. Whether the relationship works out forever or doesn't work out, I know that I'm a piece inside.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:09Lewis Howes?

  And I'm a piece whether it's we're together forever and have babies or we break up today.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:14Lewis Howes?

  It's like I feel clean, peace, and it's not because I did anything wrong or said anything wrong. It's it's because it just wasn't the right fit.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Is there any better feeling than that?

• 54:25Lewis Howes?

  It's incredible, man.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  It's like you to wake up and like not look over your shoulders.

• 54:29Lewis Howes?

  And here's the thing, it's funny because so many guys have come to me over the last year. Because I'm dating a very high profile person from Mexico who's got a big following and and a lot and very desirable for a lot of men. And I have zero insecurity or jealousy. And almost in every relationship in my past, I've been very protective, let's say. Like if a guy gave a weird look or said something down the street, it was like I wanted to fight and kind of protect.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:58Lewis Howes?

  It's I don't know what it is, maybe because I'm older now, I'm thirty seven. And I was just like going through a lot of different breakups in the past. I'm just like so not jealous anymore.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:09Lewis Howes?

  It's weird to have that feeling. But it feels incredible because I don't feel like I'm ruining the relationship from those emotions. And I think because I'm being so honest and clear and clear and truthful, it's making me less insecure whether she is as well, right?

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:26Lewis Howes?

  So I don't know, I just feel a piece like if it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  There's no greater feeling.

• 55:30Lewis Howes?

  It's incredible, man.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  There's no greater feeling than not having to check your, you know, your phone, knowing that the call. I don't have to have a passport, a password, nothing. It's all good.

• 55:42Lewis Howes?

  If she opens up and looks at any social media, I don't have to worry about a thing.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  Bro.

• 55:47Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  You can hold my phone, call your mom, I'm gonna go to the kitchen, I'll be, you know. Oh, you have my phone? It's okay.

• 55:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  If you're not, it's the best feeling in the world.

• 55:56Lewis Howes?

  It's great. You've gotten to that point too?

• 55:58Speaker 01

  I'm yeah, I'm just at peace with everything. I'm just at peace with everything. And as a good interviewer, I know where you go with this next, so I'm just, I'm at peace with everything.

• 56:07Lewis Howes?

  That's good. I'm curious about imposter syndrome. For me, I believe a lot of people don't believe they are enough for the next situation. To be on the stage and give a speech in front of an audience, to launch a book, to be in the room with the Obamas, or whoever is in their industry. How do you deal with imposter syndrome? Thinking like, I'm just a kid from Queens with, you know, a single mom who, I don't have my dad. I've worked my way up, and now I'm in the room with Jay-Z, or the Obamas, or whoever it may be. Do you deal with imposter syndrome ever? And if so, how do you deal with that to know you belong in the room?

• 56:49Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't, I'm trying to think if I do. I don't feel like I deal with imposter syndrome as much. I feel like I have a ton of flaws. I don't particularly know if that's one of them, or if that's how I would categorize it. When I, when I walk into a room with those people, like I have a defense mechanism that I just kind of automatically put on. I have a bag of tricks, right? That, you know, I'm just able to access for years.

• 57:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  You know, just things that-

• 57:21Lewis Howes?

  I think of the book The Game when you said that. You know what I'm talking about? It's like, you're trying to pick up a girl, you've got the pick-up line, you've got this magic trick, you're like, hey!

• 57:29Speaker 01

  100%. There are those certain things that will connect with anybody that I'm easily able to access, whether you're talking to Obama, or whether you're talking to, you know, Sean Penn. There's always just certain things that-

• 57:46Lewis Howes?

  What are those things? Those three key things that you can connect with anyone in a moment from meeting them?

• 57:52Speaker 01

  I'm a student, I know a lot about a lot of people. So like, sports are always those things. Now the pandemic is always one of those things. You know, I'm able to look at what you're wearing, piece it together, find the common denominators. You know, then I have my other bag, I got, you know, voices I can go into, things that, you know, like, when I'm in a room with people and I have to put on in that room, I just, I know what's worked for me in the past and how to, how to take over that room.

• 58:22Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean, voices? Like, you'll- Like voiceover like

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Did you just try to do it?

• 58:26Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I don't know, what do you mean, like, you try to be like Mike Tyson? You try to be like Kevin

• 58:29Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, not

• 58:30Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean, voices?

• 58:31Speaker 01

  No, no, there are certain, there are certain inflections that

• 58:36Lewis Howes?

  Tonality of your voice.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, there, there's certain tonality of my voice that I can use to accomplish what I want to accomplish.

• 58:44Lewis Howes?

  Like what? Give me an example, you walk in with Obama, or Jay-Z, even though you mess it up every time. You walk in with someone like Obama for the first time, and you've got to connect, you've got three seconds before you got to do the next thing. How do you connect?

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm trying, okay, how does it work?

• 58:59Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean?

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, say, uh

• 59:03Lewis Howes?

  What do you say to Obama the first time? Like, are you looking at his shoes right away? You've seen him watch, you've seen like the, the flag, the president, like, you're like

• 59:10Speaker 01

  So when I met Obama, so

• 59:12Lewis Howes?

  Basketball, you're trying to access everything.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  So what I'll do for, like, an Obama, like, so if I'm in the White House for the first time, I will, I will, I will access something that I know everybody around us experiences that I feel like people would be unable to say to him, and I'll be able to crack the barrier by expressing that thing, right? So like, I, I think the first thing I met when I, I, I met Obama, when you go into the White House, they have, and you go into the bathroom, they have napkins, right? And those napkins say, the White, you know, the White House, right? Obama administration, whatever they say, right? So like, I whisper to, to Sid, like,

• 59:54Speaker 01

  I stole a lot of napkins.

• 59:56Lewis Howes?

  To Obama?

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:57Lewis Howes?

  You said this to him?

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Please don't have a secret security. And he, he just busts out laughing, right?

• 1:00:02Lewis Howes?

  He's dying, yeah.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  He's dying laughing, right? It doesn't matter who you are, saying that to someone, like, the moment, and it, and it'll come, like, he'll be like, oh, so nice to meet you, like,

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  I stole a lot of napkins, I'm sorry, they're in my pocket, I'll take them back if you need, like, he's dying laughing, right? He's already dying laughing, right? So, so, I'll just figure out what I feel like, and then knowing his personality, and you know, he's sharp with it too. He'll be like, you have 10 seconds to give, you know, I can't remember what it was, but, but he, he completely played into it.

• 1:00:32Lewis Howes?

  Roger, get out of there.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. And he was so, you know, generous about it, and fun about it, and then from there on, it was like The barrier was broken, right?

• 1:00:41Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  I think it's just, you know, as hosts especially, it's important to just find those common, you know, denominators, break down those walls. And then, once I get you that first, you know, hook, then I can do anything in the room. Then I feel invincible, then I'm good.

• 1:01:00Lewis Howes?

  What about if it's a scenario where you're in a room at an event or a party and you don't know you're meeting this person, like you knew you were gonna meet Obama, so you kinda had a preparation to go into it, but Tom Cruise hits you on the back of the shoulder and you're like, what do you say when you turn around? Or someone introduces you real quick to someone? What's that tool that you'll access to make sure you create a great impression and start to build that relationship?

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, again, that comes from what I call a bag of tricks.

• 1:01:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  So what I'll say is, I remember, this is before Wikipedia, I would study people, right? I would look, you know, up people, you know, I mean, you and I are older than the internet, right? So we know what it's like to look on the encyclopedia, look at magazines, do research. I'm a student of people.

• 1:01:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  You know, whether it's somebody on Broadway, whether it's an ice skater, like I'll try to know so that if Tom Cruise knocks on my shoulder, I'm able to say, yo, your last movie, whatever, right? I'm always able to flip into it if I'm at that type of event. Now, if he catches me at the grocery store, you know, I'm not saying I haven't fumbled, but I would say, out of eight times of getting caught off guard, I mean, 10 times I get caught off guard, I'm pretty good at seven to eight of them.

• 1:02:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  Two of them I might fumble through, but most of the time, I just, I study enough about a lot that I'm able to just flex into one of my bag of tricks.

• 1:02:29Lewis Howes?

  What's the greatest skill you think every human being should learn from this movement moving forward, if they haven't already learned this skill? Is it the art of studying people? Is it having a bag of tricks? Is it, you know, health and wellness? Like, what is the skill you think people need to learn the most to help them in their life?

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Is to maximize your potential of what you're great at.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  The greatest thing that you can do is tap into your genius. One thing Jay-Z will say is that every single one of us has genius in us. We're all brilliant. Where a lot of us are scared to tap into what that is. And a lot of us wanna tap into the wrong thing instead of actually focusing on what you are passionate about and what you can be great at. You know, fifteen years ago, ten years ago, if you wanted to be a host, the thought was for you to be as evergreen as possible, right? Back then, I was getting booked for everything. I'm hosting, you know, NBA slam dunk contest shows. I'm hosting Miss USA.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  I'm ho- that's why I'm on, because I'm an evergreen host, right? Today, it's not about that. Like, there's a fishing channel. If you're about fishing, hone in on that, right? You don't have to be an expert bowler to be the greatest person on the Food Network, right? You don't have to know everything about fashion in order to excel on CSNBC, right? So, whatever you're passionate about and you love, and this is not just for being a host, but to find true success and to find true happiness. I think the, the true ingredient is to focus on what you love and what you're passionate about. And then you'll be able to find success in any aspect of your life.

• 1:04:22Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you could have been farther along if you weren't as evergreen and kind of like trying to host on different platforms for different audiences, but more focusing on one genre, one audi- I guess you were on one platform for a long time, but you're also hosting different places.

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  You know, I'm really happy today with where I'm at. I'm really happy with, with, with where I'm at. If I could trade careers with anybody, I, I don't think I would do it. I think that I'm in a position now that, you know, when I'm in my fifties and sixties, I'll be able to enjoy a Steve Harvey-esque career and, you know.

• 1:05:01Lewis Howes?

  That'd be fun.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what I mean? I feel like I'm, I'm in a position to do that, right? You know, would I have wanted to focus and, you know, be the video game guy and just, you know, I, I love a lot of things, you know, and I have a lot of fun doing a lot of things. Um, and I, I, you know, I love my career. Like, I love my career and I love the level that I'm at. You know, there were times when being famous was really, really cool. And now, I don't think it's as cool.

• 1:05:40Lewis Howes?

  Why not?

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  Back when I really wanted to be famous, you were famous because you were great at something, right? You know, oh my god, that person walking down the street just put out a number one album. Oh my god, that person walking down the street, you know, is the fastest running back in the, right? Oh my god, that is a brilliant writer who put out a book, whatever, right? Now, just anybody can be famous. You can be famous for, you know, being on Instagram and doing whatever, or having, you know, whatever reality show, whatever. Like, there's just so many ways.

• 1:06:16Lewis Howes?

  Just have one piece of content and be famous.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  You could be famous for anything, right? And I'm not demeaning, I'm not talking shit about anybody's level of getting to, to, to where they're famous. But now, it's like, that's not as cool. Now, what's cool to me is being great, right? Being great at something. School of greatness, right? It's like, what are you great at, right? How do you impact people and how do you help people, right? I'd rather, I'd rather have, you know, an experience, if I have to spend a day where one person has an incredible experience with me that day, as opposed to, you know, being cool in front of a hundred people in a, in a gymnasium that don't really care about me, right? So, yeah, I ju- I just feel like the world has, has shifted.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  And now, there, there's so many more humans that you can be more specific with what you wanna do and you can still be great. And still make a lot of money, you know?

• 1:07:11Lewis Howes?

  I don't wanna forecast too far ahead, but you're gonna be forty in a year and a half.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Lewis Howes?

  And it's hard for me, cause I'm gonna be forty in, I guess, two and a half years. What would you say are the biggest lessons you've learned in this past decade? From thirty to almost forty, although you're probably gonna learn a lot in the last year and a half till you hit there, but what would you say are the biggest lessons you've learned since thirty till now?

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  Um, you know, everything from the four agreements. Oh, I love that book. You know, don't take anything personally. So hard. We live in a world where everybody can reach you at any time and say something to you. And you gotta realize that everybody's words towards you is only a reflection of how they are feeling. And to not take anything personally. Um, you know, to never ever give up. Mm-hmm. You know, nobody can stop me from doing anything that I wanna do. Nobody. There's no, there's, you know, there's, there's just nobody but, but me, right? Only I can make the decisions that can stop myself from getting to a, a place that I wanna get. But not letting any no stop you from going after your dreams.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  And then the, the, the next biggest lesson is just to be a good person, to be a kind person. We, you know, humanity right now is at a, is at a turning point. You know, we got the biggest vote of our lives coming up. The, the sky is on fire because of global warming. Um, you know, there's so many movements, I can't even count them, right? You know, I'm marching for Black Lives Matter. I'm fighting for LGBTQ. I'm fighting for Me Too movement. I'm fighting for, uh, what's the new, there's a new one that's just happening. That I, I wanna, I want everybody to, to, to, to progress and feel love. And, you know, I'm fighting for humanity. That's the movement I'm fighting for.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  I'm fighting for humanity to, to reach our maximum potential. And, and, and, you know, in that fight, I think the, the, the key ingredient, as, as cliche as it may sound, is just love. Yeah. We gotta love each other more. You know, we gotta support each other more. We gotta be there for each other more. We gotta understand each other more. We gotta show more love. Yeah. What's your definition of love? My definition of love?

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  Is God. God is love. A definition of love is pouring into other people. The light and the positivity that you want poured into yourself. Being selfless in that way. You know, giving back. Empathy, sympathy, emotion.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, all, all of that is, is, is love, you know.

• 1:10:01Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing you're most proud of that a lot of people maybe don't know about? You've accomplished a lot of things, worked with a lot of people. You, you give back a lot, you do a lot of philanthropy work, you're fighting for human rights. But what's the thing you do that you're most proud of?

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  I don't know, that might go on, I, I don't know, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. You know, it, it's, it's, you know, there's certain people that, you know. You know, that, that have one thing that's so great that they can be proud of it. And I just have so many little things that it's hard for me to like really focus on one that I could say is my most proud accomplishment.

• 1:10:42Lewis Howes?

  Even, even something that's not a, something that people maybe don't know about. Maybe it's not a big accomplishment, but it's something you changed, or you learned, or you developed, or a relationship that you. Reestablished after it was hurt for a long time, or. You showed up somewhere that no one knew about and you built a great relationship with someone. Just something internally that you're like, you know what, I'm really proud of this.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm really proud of, you know, the relationship I've developed with my parents.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  Not saying that we weren't close in the past, but. You know, I, I've really made an effort to, to become closer. My dad has, has a lot of health issues and, you know, I, I want him around for a really long time. And just the more I get to know both of my parents, my, my stepdad and my mom. Um, the more proud I am of, of the relationship and the bond that we've developed.

• 1:11:36Lewis Howes?

  Let's throw a hypothetical question out there.

• 1:11:40Lewis Howes?

  Let's say your dad shows up in the next six months and wants to meet you. And he says, you know, I've been following your entire life. I've seen everything you've done. I've just been afraid to come and approach you, whatever reason, but I've seen all your accomplishments. I've seen your work on TV, movies. You've done amazing. What would you want him to say that he's most proud of about all the things you've done? And the person you've become through your ups and downs? If that ever happened?

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  You know, going to college.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  I think education is really important, you know.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  Buying homes, you know, buying real estate. You know, not many people in my family were able to, you know, do that. I think a lot of times, especially for black people, we're a lot of first generation, everything, right? You know, we don't have houses handed down to us as much. We don't have, you know, a lot of family members that went to college that are able to get you into the alma mater. Like, you know, we're either first or second generation, you know, we're rarely third generation anything in this country. So, you know, those American dream things for me of education,

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  home ownership, property, and then, you know, the fact that I will be in a position to provide hopefully my kids with sustainable wealth for a long time and leave them something. I think those three things are the pillar of the American dream. And the fact that I was able to accomplish those things without him directly in my life, I hope that he would be proud that I was able to do those things.

• 1:13:27Lewis Howes?

  That's cool, yeah. Because I think the statistic is that most young black men without a father in the home.

• 1:13:36Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna butcher the stats, but the the education rate of you of young black men finishing high school or having lower reading levels or something is extremely low based on them not being in the home as if they were in the home be much higher. I'm not sure the exact stat.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:52Lewis Howes?

  But I remember hearing that.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know what the stats are. I mean, I knew when I was growing up how bad the stats used to sound. I mean, but look, it's it's it's pretty turnkey and easy to understand, right? If you have two people at home, making sure you're doing your homework and making sure you get home on time, it's a lot better than one.

• 1:14:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, stay out of trouble.

• 1:14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. Stay out of trouble, you know, the more disciplinary factors that you have in your life that are able to control you to to to go to school and focus on those things, the more you'll be able to focus on those things and go to school, right? The more, you know, in a lot of cases, right? And so when you're able to find outliers in those cases, it's, you know, it's to be applauded. But again, I think that the world is moving, you know, I think us as a culture, we're moving in the right direction. I just think it's gonna take time. It's not gonna happen overnight. You know, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

• 1:14:43Lewis Howes?

  How did you use, how did you develop a mindset to achieve the success you have in your life? And what are those tools that you've developed within your mindset? Are you a big morning ritual guy? Are you a big, I'm gonna read and and and learn and grow my mind? Are you a big meditation guy? Like, what are the tools you use to build your mindset for success?

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  I think, you know, for me, the the hardest one is getting that first success. That's the biggest one. Once you get that first success, then I use, I I I understand that I can accomplish success. And then once you do that, then you can always dip back into that and accomplish success, no matter how old you are, right? It's like, so once you win that first game, then you know, okay, I can win, right? I won once before, I can win again. And so. You know, I, you know, I, yeah, I've had a fifteen year career, eighteen year career, whatever. You know, I've had years where I'm on fire. Multiple.

• 1:15:46Lewis Howes?

  Doing this, this.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  Hit shows, whatever. Then you have years that are kind of dry, not much going on, right? I never feel like I can't do it again. Cause I know that I've done it. I know I've done it at a high level. So I always know I could tap back into it.

• 1:16:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  You just got to adjust sometimes. The world will change. And if you're on top for five years, you can't, you know, nobody stays on top consecutively. You gotta take cool off periods.

• 1:16:11Lewis Howes?

  Hard.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  No matter who you are.

• 1:16:12Lewis Howes?

  Even if you're the rocker, Will Smith, or Kevin Hart, even though it looks like those guys keep growing.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Absolutely, but even Rihanna hasn't put out an album in a few years. She's acquired so much success with Fenty. Right, and, and her clothing line and her skin, right? And then when she puts music back out, she gonna crush them all over again, right? But it's not like every year it's an album, album, album. Sometimes you gotta take a step back away. And then you gotta go into a different direction of success, right? And so, it's, uh, it's, it's important to go with the ebb and flows of life. But once you know that you can accomplish success in one arena. Then that can be the fuel, uh, for you in all other arenas. And what I tell for people going after that first level of success is to just not give up until you get it. Right?

• 1:17:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  You cannot stop until you get what that goal is.

• 1:17:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  And then once you get that, then you gotta keep on doing it over and over.

• 1:17:09Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Do you think it's easier to become successful or stay successful? I mean, it's harder to become successful or harder to stay?

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  It's harder to, to stay successful.

• 1:17:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  I think it's much harder.

• 1:17:21Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  You know.

• 1:17:23Lewis Howes?

  You've seen a lot of people come and go over the last twenty years of your career.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  My goodness.

• 1:17:26Lewis Howes?

  Who were massive and then they're probably not around anymore, right?

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  One hundred percent. Too many to name. Um, I think that.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  You know, it's that adjustment, right? When you come out with your first body of work, or your first success, or your first win, you've prepared your whole life for that moment, right? If you're a 21-year-old musician that's dropping your first record, you had 21 years of emotions, experience, everything to prepare. And when you do that, you've now given out your whole bag of tricks on that album, on that song, on that moment. Everything you've ever learned, you've funneled it into that moment of time. And then it's over. Now, a year later, two years later, you gotta start from scratch. And you have this success, so now you're lazy, you got money, you got too many girls around you,

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  you got, you know, family members you gotta take care of, you got all these other moving parts. And you gotta balance starting over, right? And doing your next album. So, it's much harder and much easier to get that sophomore jinx than it is to come out of the gate. You know, that's why a lot of sequels to movies are not as good, right? You had your whole life to prepare for this one movie, then the studio wants you to turn it around in two years. It's like, ah, we gotta throw this script together, it's trash, right? So, yeah, I think it's much harder to keep that level of success, which is why preparation and researching and just doing the work is so important.

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  You know, it's the 10,000 hours from The Outliers. It's, you know, in order to, if you win that first championship, you're gonna win that second if you put in all the work. And that's what it takes, is that level of work.

• 1:19:15Lewis Howes?

  We've got a few final questions for you, this is fascinating. I'm curious, if you, hypothetical, let's say you lost all your money, today, tomorrow, whatever, it's all gone. All your homes are gone, all your assets are gone. You've got nothing. You're back to like calling up Jay-Z saying, hey, can I crash on your couch, or whatever, right? And you had to make, let's hypothetical, you had to make a million dollars in a year.

• 1:19:38Lewis Howes?

  What would you, what would be the first thing you would do? What would you create? What would you launch to be able to create that within a year with no money? No assets. You've got your relationships, but you've got none of your business right now.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  I could do that.

• 1:19:52Lewis Howes?

  What would it, what would you do? First thing you would do?

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  I would do an OnlyFans, just show my body.

• 1:19:59Speaker 01

  Let's see, let's see. What would be the first thing? I think I would do something consumer based. I think I would utilize social media.

• 1:20:09Lewis Howes?

  Consumer product, you mean?

• 1:20:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, to come with a, yeah, consumer product base. I think that, now, do I still have my friends?

• 1:20:16Lewis Howes?

  You got all your relationships? You got your Rolodex? But what would you do?

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I would, you know, I would, I would, I would start a podcast. I would, I would do a podcast where they would have to, you know, they would, now, am I still me?

• 1:20:31Lewis Howes?

  Still you, you're you.

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, so this is not hard.

• 1:20:33Lewis Howes?

  What would you do?

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  So, yeah, so I would call you. I would, I, we would, we would turnkey this and flip the logo around to have a second one. We'd sell this podcast for 500 grand and you, you know, you, you'd be my partner in it. So you would, you know, you would get 200 grand off of that to, to produce it and get the licensing fees and distribution. I would get 300, we would start the base and then take the 300. I would do, I would take 100,000 of that and I met this really dope young writer from UC, USC. And I wanted to shoot an indie film with it. So I would take 100,000 and do it for the indie film. We would shoot that film in about three weeks and then we would turn that film around. I would sell that film to either Amazon or Netflix.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  That'll sell for 750 grand. So I'd have 750 off of that sale, 300 off of this sale. Then maybe I would do like some kind of quick little product or something. My favorite sneaker cleaner is Jason Marks, but I feel like there, there could be like another product in that space. Or I would like put a little shop on Melrose. Like, there's not enough vegan food in LA. So that's something I would want to do too. It's like, I would want to do like a dope vegan restaurant here in LA. So maybe I would like get a small business loan and do one of those. Either way, I would just start hustling. Every day I wake up and I would just come up with something new and I would like piecemeal it together.

• 1:21:54Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:21:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would figure it out. I would do it in six months.

• 1:21:57Lewis Howes?

  Oh, there you go.

• 1:21:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would make the million in six months.

• 1:21:59Lewis Howes?

  What if you had to make, what, 10 million in a year?

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  That's, that's more complicated.

• 1:22:04Lewis Howes?

  That's for another podcast.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  I have to really sit down with David Shaw.

• 1:22:11Lewis Howes?

  You've got a, what is bewoke.vote? What is this?

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  Oh, Bewoke Vote. Um, Robert Smith, uh, Deion Taylor, who's an incredible, incredible director. Robert Smith is the, the black billionaire that is on everyone's list right now and, and Roxanne, Avon Taylor, uh, have forged a nonprofit called Bewoke Vote. And I've kind of been helping spearhead some of the initiatives, uh, to get people, especially young people motivated and energized about this year's election. Um, so yeah, we're doing a big voting Bewoke Vote campaign shoot tomorrow. What are you doing tomorrow? Should you come by and take some photos?

• 1:22:50Lewis Howes?

  Where is it at?

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Uh, it's 10 minutes away from here.

• 1:22:52Lewis Howes?

  All right, let me know.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  Throw a hat on your head, you're good to go.

• 1:22:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  Uh, so yeah, so it's, it's literally just about getting people registered and activated and out there voting this year.

• 1:23:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What, uh, how can people get involved there?

• 1:23:05Speaker 01

  Um, through social media, we can send you product. There's a website that has everything. Uh, but really it's, you know, there's so many different initiatives. It's really not about our initiative or the next. We use ours for branding and marketing to get our word out. But for me, it's about everybody, um, inspiring others to vote.

• 1:23:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  So I don't care if you're in North Carolina right now with a hundred followers on IG and you work at the grocery store. Tell everybody that's coming through, you know, at, at, at your local grocery store to go out there and vote. It's just important that all of us exercise that right this year.

• 1:23:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, for sure. Bewoke.vote? Is that where you can go?

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  Bewoke.vote, yep.

• 1:23:43Lewis Howes?

  Okay. You're Terrence J. everywhere, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. So make sure you follow Terrence J. You can see every person that he hangs out, every celebrity in the world is pretty much on his Instagram page. I want to acknowledge you before I ask these final two questions, for your ability to constantly transform yourself. I think it's really hard to jump into one category, hosting, and then say, you know what, but I want to try acting. I'm really excited about this. I'm passionate about it. I'm going to do it, even when everyone says that I'm not capable. You did that. You started doing executive producing. You continue to evolve yourself from what your fut- your, your past self wasn't able to do. You keep evolving, growing and adding value to people's lives through your creativity and your expression. So I really acknowledge you for

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:24:28Lewis Howes?

  your ability to see a vision. And even if you've never done it, go make it happen for yourself. It's really inspiring and I think young creators or talents or just anyone who has a dream can see your example of what you've done and and follow that example.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:24:46Lewis Howes?

  Of course, man. This question is called the three truths. So imagine, another hypothetical question, imagine it's your last day on earth many years from now. You're as old as you want to be, you've accomplished every dream. You have great relationships, everything has worked out the way you want it to be. But for whatever reason, every piece of art, creation, video, content, movie that you've ever made, book, all goes with you to the next place. And it's your last day on earth. But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true from your entire existence. Three lessons that you would share with the world. And this is all that we would have to remember you by are these three lessons. I call it the three truths.

• 1:25:30Lewis Howes?

  What would you say are your three truths?

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  Three lessons to the world, you know, don't take life for granted. Have fun in all that you do and never trust a big butt and a smile.

• 1:25:45Lewis Howes?

  That's the greatest. So number one, say it again.

• 1:25:51Speaker 01

  Don't take life for granted, have fun in all that you do and never, ever, ever, ever trust a big butt and a smile.

• 1:26:00Lewis Howes?

  I don't think I've ever heard that last one, but that is a great truth. Cause you're probably getting in a lot of trouble.

• 1:26:05Speaker 01

  Very famous quote, very famous quote.

• 1:26:07Lewis Howes?

  Someone said that before?

• 1:26:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, poison, comes from a song.

• 1:26:09Lewis Howes?

  Okay, okay, maybe I have heard it, but yeah. You just said it in a great way.

• 1:26:17Lewis Howes?

  Well, this has been amazing, man. I'm so glad we got to connect. And my final question for you is what is your definition of greatness?

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  My definition of greatness is, dang, that's such a my definition of greatness is living a life fulfilled, doing what you do to make yourself happy and living a purpose driven life, you know, with passion, inspiration and love. And that's a little convoluted, but you can put, you can work it all in.

• 1:26:50Lewis Howes?

  My man, Terrance here at the house. Appreciate you, brother. My friends, thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you found it powerful. Let me know what you enjoyed the most, the part that stood out the most and was helpful for you by going to Apple Podcast, clicking on that subscribe button and leaving us a review and a rating, just sharing your thoughts about this episode over there. Would love to hear your thoughts on how this impacted you and inspired you in your life. And please, share this with a friend, text a buddy, text a girlfriend, text a family member. Just send them the link, copy and paste wherever you're listening, or you can use lewishouse.com/1021 and put it in a WhatsApp group chat, put it on Facebook, put it on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram

• 1:27:35Lewis Howes?

  stories, and share it with your friends. Also, if you like weekly inspiration and you want more inspiration from me, we text people every single week, inspirational quotes, motivational thoughts, videos, all that good stuff. All you gotta do is text the word PODCAST to 614-350-3960, and you'll get messages from me every single week. So go ahead and do that right now as well to stay motivated weekly. And I want to leave you with this quote from author Roy T. Bennett, who said, "Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down." Oh, I love this episode. Really enjoyed connecting

• 1:28:17Lewis Howes?

  with Terrence J. And hope you enjoyed it as well and become a fan of his online and of his work that he does. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. I'm so grateful for you, my friend. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.