1008 How to Stay Calm in the Midst of Chaos

“Give yourself permission for discomfort.”On today's 5-minute Friday, Lewis details a five-step process to help you stay in control in moments of stress, letdown, or confusion. This simple plan can help you make the most of your toughest times. Mel Robbins: The “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-podDr. Joe Dispenza on Healing the Body and Tranforming the Mind: https://link.chtbl.com/826-podMaster Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is Five Minute Friday.

• 0:08Lewis Howes?

  How do we stay calm in the moment of letdown and chaos? I want to start today's episode with a quote from author Travis Bradbury, who said, "Mistakes and pressure are inevitable. The secret to getting past them is to stay calm." We talk a lot about the big picture of embracing failure and overcoming disappointment. But what do we do in the moment when something goes wrong? There are ways to handle setbacks as they are happening in the moment of a big time pressure situation. I want to give you a couple of examples. Recently, we had the Summit of Greatness, our fifth annual Summit of Greatness, but we had to do it online, virtual, digital. And we'd never done an online virtual event live.

• 0:53Lewis Howes?

  And we knew there were going to be some issues. We just knew there was going to be some streaming issues, some audio issues, video issues. We had a lot of different moving parts. And at one point on the last day, once we thought we had everything smooth, we decided to do something different. We added in a special guest at the last minute. And for whatever reason, the audio went out on me. So I'm trying to introduce this guest and no one can hear my voice. My producer, Ben, he's running around behind the scenes. My videographer, Tiffany, she's running around. They're yelling, they're scrambling, and I'm in front of the camera where no one can hear me. And what felt like this moment of chaos and stress, which was, "Uh oh, there's thousands of people watching live and they can't hear me.

• 1:38Lewis Howes?

  What do we do?" I needed to be calm and cool in front of the camera and not get flustered myself, not scream, not get upset, not run around. And I needed to stay calm. Another moment I had was, we actually booked a guest and someone who was completely different than we thought and had prepared for showed up. This is a very funny moment, actually. We had booked Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of The Four Agreements. But what we actually didn't realize is when the publicist was reaching out, he was booking us his son, Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. So when his son shows up and I was completely unprepared, I had to learn how to actually make it a great interview without preparing at all for that guest.

• 2:19Lewis Howes?

  These were a couple of moments that I've had where in the moment, stress and chaos is happening and I had to be calm. I had to be prepared to shift and kind of roll with the punches. And there are some key things that you need to take on in your life and to understand and what you can do to make the most out of a tough moment, out of the challenges in the moment. How do you handle that pressure? And there are five key steps on how you can truly stay calm during letdown. Now, the first step is something I learned from Navy SEALs. They have a quote that says, "Under pressure, you don't rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training." And that's why we train so hard.

• 3:00Lewis Howes?

  So step one is, I know we're talking about this in the moment of how to handle it when it's chaos, but preparation matters for those moments. In sports, we'd always say, "You don't have to get ready if you stay ready." So what that means for me is prepare for the worst moments. So you're better when the worst happens because inevitably, when you're getting ready for a speech, when you've got a presentation in the boardroom, when you're doing a job interview, there's going to be some letdown, some breakdown at some point in your life. It's going to happen. It's inevitable. So be prepared and prepare for those things. That's step number one. Step number two is be willing to be uncomfortable and give yourself permission for discomfort.

• 3:44Lewis Howes?

  The yes theory guys, they have a saying that says, "Seek discomfort." If we're always comfortable all the time, then it's going to be extremely uncomfortable when those moments occur. And then you're going to beat yourself up. Give yourself permission for discomfort. That's step number two. Step number three, slow down. When the wrong guest showed up, I acted as if they were supposed to be there. Even though I was like, who is this person? This is not the person I'm supposed to interview right now. And I had prepared for someone else. I'd read someone else's books. I did all this other preparation. I acted as if they were supposed to be there. Even though I was shocked on the inside, I didn't really let that person know. And so I slowed down. Same thing happened when the tech issues during the Summit of Greatness.

• 4:29Lewis Howes?

  I didn't react and get all flustered. I just took a breath and slowed down. It feels like it's taking an hour to solve an issue. That's probably 20 or 30 seconds. Because when something doesn't go our way, we have an expectation. And then all of a sudden, we get this fight or flight mode. And you need to slow down and start to breathe slower. Don't match the level of the crazy energy going around you. Be the calm among the chaos around you. That's step three. Step four. Make sure you don't see other people flustered. Because if my audience watching live saw me freaking out, they would freak out. If the guests coming into my studio saw me questioning something and freaking out,

• 5:12Lewis Howes?

  it wouldn't have made a great interview. So make sure the people around you don't see you flustered. And you can do that by slowing down, by training for discomfort, and by preparing yourself for that moment. Step five. Realize perspective. Every moment makes you stronger, teaches you something, prepares you for something bigger. I've had so many embarrassing moments in big, pressure-filled situations. I used to beat myself up if I wasn't perfect, and that just left me more stressed. Now I just know this is part of life. It's part of making me stronger. It's part of making me more humble. These moments are gonna happen, and it's okay. It's how you respond to the situation which determines who you are.

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  And I want to close with a quote from Nelson Mandela, who said, "I never lose, either win or learn." Every moment that we have that could be a big, pressure-filled moment, that seems like a letdown, seems like there's chaos, or something didn't work out the way I wanted it to. It's all lessons. You either win or you learn. Nothing is ever a loss. This is all part of the beautiful experience that is you, that is your story that you're writing in your life. And these lessons are going to teach you something for the next chapter as well. I hope you enjoyed this five minute Friday. And as always, if no one's told you lately, you are loved, you're worthy, and you matter. And you know what time it is? It's time to go out there and do something great.