Pod Insights Scam Goddess The Blazin’ Embezzler w/ Brendan Scannell (Fraud Friday) About this episode In this week's Fraud Friday, Laci is joined by Brendan Scannell (Bonding, Heathers) to talk about an embezzling bookkeeper who attempted to cover up her thievery with arson. Plus, in Scammer of the Week, a car shop employee fakes his own kidnapping to get out of work. Stay Schemin’! (Originally Released 03/15/2021)
Follow on Instagram:
Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod
Laci Mosley: @divalaci
Brendan Scannell: @bscan
Research by Sharilyn Vera
SOURCES:
https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2021/01/11/saratoga-bookkeeper-allegedly-broke-own-nose-set-office-ablaze-to-hide-1-million-embezzlement/
https://www.sccgov.org/sites/da/newsroom/newsreleases/Pages/NRA2021/Carlstrom.aspx
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/23/us/brandon-soules-fake-kidnapping.html
Transcript 12,017 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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2:00 Laci Mosley? What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays, where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess Vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from behind the paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the paywall, and as always, stay schemin'.
2:42 Laci Mosley? What's poppin', congregation? Hallelujah, we're back on this sanctified and saved Tuesday for another episode of Scam Goddess Podcast, the podcast that's dedicated to robbery, fraud, cons, all those things of the like. And it's also a comedy show. Have y'all picked up on that yet? All right, guys, it's me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And as always, I'm what? Yes, I'm excited, I'm thrilled. I'm fucking elated for our guest that we have today. You have seen him in the reboot of Heathers. And if you didn't see him in that, honey, you definitely saw him playing Pete Devon in the Netflix dark comedy, Bonding, okay? Let's get you, da-dong.
3:25 Laci Mosley? Okay, we got a da-dong king in the house, honey. Yes, guys, Brendan Scannell. Yes, did I say your last name correctly?
3:32 Speaker 05 You nailed it, yeah.
3:34 Laci Mosley? Yes, okay, great, great, great, great.
3:36 Speaker 05 I don't know what a da-dong king is.
3:40 Laci Mosley? Yes, da-dong, the king of the dong.
3:44 Speaker 05 Is that like the dongs?
3:47 Laci Mosley? Oh, God, maybe. See, I wasn't even going there, Brendan. You took it there. I was talking about the da-dong. Hi Bryn, how are you?
3:55 Speaker 05 I'm good. Happy Friday.
3:57 Laci Mosley? Yes, we are recording on a Friday. I love a good Friday recording. I feel very loose and relaxed. Like I have a real job, as if tomorrow means something to me.
4:06 Speaker 05 Oh yeah, it totally doesn't. All I did today, I got a rapid test and came back neg, love. So I can enter this weekend and do nothing.
4:15 Laci Mosley? Yes. Do you know that that's actually something that's risen on dating profiles? Now people are putting if they're vaccinated or when their latest COVID test was, I was like, okay.
4:27 Speaker 05 Ooh.
4:28 Laci Mosley? Yeah, the dating apps are, everybody's trying to advertise themselves as like the best candidate possible.
4:32 Speaker 05 I mean, that's how it's kind of always been on the LGBT dating apps, you know?
4:38 Laci Mosley? Oh, they've always had their stuff up?
4:39 Speaker 05 Yeah, I mean, you know, people want to know your status and that sort of thing.
4:43 Laci Mosley? That's true. That's true. Understood. Well, now everybody's doing it and I appreciate that because they should be. Yes. Wait, okay, so do you have any relationship with scams? Like have you ever been scammed? Do you like scams? Do you hate scammers? It can be anything.
4:57 Speaker 05 I mean, I feel like this is such a moment of scam in our culture, you know? So I'm a big fan of, you know, medical scams. I was really into the idea that all of LA had these COVID tests at Dodger Stadium for like six months, basically. And you would go and you'd drive through and they would test you and it was this company started by this 25 year old, obviously. And then six months into it, we find out that those tests aren't accurate and haven't been accurate for the past six months. So like people are like going on trips based on their Dodger Stadium COVID tests. People are seeing their families. I saw my family and
5:38 Speaker 05 of course, it's like some 25 year old who knows somebody at City Hall and got a hundred million dollar contract for his little startup. So very interested in that sort of like dropout. Somebody pretending they know how to do something and because we all know nothing about medicine, we're like, yeah, sure.
5:55 Laci Mosley? I love those too. We actually just talked about one of those with Deanna on a different episode. A 22 year old in Philadelphia just started vaccinating people and everybody was like, okay.
6:04 Speaker 05 Who are these people?
6:07 Laci Mosley? I don't know, but I love them. I love that they have the audacity and the gall to be like, oh, a global pandemic? Let me get involved. Let me get my coins up. I love that for them.
6:17 Speaker 05 All it takes is like, people love just being told that you know how to do something. Like Elizabeth Holmes, the Theranos person was just like, yeah, we can test all your blood, I guess with one little prick. And she got a billion dollars for it.
6:30 Laci Mosley? Mm-hmm. For making something tiny. I loved her tiny thing. It was just very tiny and a secret. It's the perfect scam. I live for it. So yeah, okay, I like, I like, you're like an enterprise scammer. You're like somebody who's getting in an industry and just completely making up their whole career path.
6:44 Speaker 05 Yeah, I'm like a Bernie Madoff type scam person. Like, yes, I have all your money. It's right here. I haven't been spending it on, on boats. You know, that's what I do.
6:54 Laci Mosley? Chill, chill. Don't worry about my new plane. It definitely is not none of your money. Okay. Would you like to give some more? Like, oh, I love those. I'm also obsessed. Well, guys, let's get into it. Our first segment here is called What's Hot in Fraud. This is where we warn our listeners about popping frauds on the streets, or we get a listener letter and let you guys snitch on your friends and family. As always, if you want to snitch, just make sure your scam is retired and email it to [email protected] . We love to hear it. So I need a fake name, Brendan, for this person. We don't care about gender on this show, so it can be anything.
7:26 Speaker 05 Tabitha.
7:27 Laci Mosley? Tabitha. Ooh, I like Tabitha. That reminds me of my favorite Tabitha, which is Miss Tabitha, the black lady who just says encouraging things in a velvety voice. Everyone's auntie. Have you heard of Miss Tabitha?
7:40 Speaker 05 No.
7:41 Laci Mosley? Oh, you gotta get into Miss Tabitha. She be on TikTok and she on Instagram and she just be like, hey, baby, you're doing great. And I'm like, thanks, thanks, Miss Tabitha.
7:49 Speaker 05 Like ASMR Tabitha.
7:51 Laci Mosley? Yes, she's a queen. But um, I'm also managing her, if that's not clear.
7:56 Speaker 05 She is available for live shows. She's vaccinated.
8:00 Laci Mosley? Right. I do all of her bookings and all of her payroll. So.
8:04 Speaker 05 Yeah, she's doing drive-in Miss Tabitha at the Rose Bowl next weekend.
8:09 Laci Mosley? Yo, drive-in Miss Tabitha, I'm weak. They have those drive-in strip clubs.
8:13 Speaker 05 What?
8:14 Laci Mosley? Y'all get out there and support.
8:16 Speaker 05 That's just not a culture I'm dropped into.
8:18 Laci Mosley? You don't want to get out there and support the strippers in your vehicle?
8:21 Speaker 05 I'm supporting drag queens in my vehicle. That's about all. That's about as far as I can support.
8:25 Laci Mosley? That's fair.
8:26 Speaker 05 Drag queens are sort of strippers.
8:28 Laci Mosley? Yeah, at times they do strip and also their wardrobe is very intense. So we'll take.
8:33 Speaker 05 Burlesque adjacent, which I think we're all in the burlesque umbrella here.
8:36 Laci Mosley? That's very true. So Tabitha says, okay, this is such a minor and petty scam, but I was a savvy seventeen year old. The year was two thousand seven. Oh, okay. I like this like the year.
8:49 Speaker 05 Take me back.
8:49 Laci Mosley? Two thousand seven, the place, senior high school, and I worked part time at Baskin and Robbins. Is Baskin and Robin two people?
9:00 Speaker 05 I thought it was just Baskin Robbins.
9:03 Laci Mosley? I always thought it was Baskin and Robbins. She put a dash here, so it's still very unclear.
9:08 Speaker 05 Slash, oh, Baskin slash Robbins?
9:12 Laci Mosley? Baskin and his homeboy Robbins.
9:14 Speaker 05 Or Dash Robbins, like it's like a last name of two people who didn't want to give up their names.
9:18 Laci Mosley? Yeah, they have a dash, so I'm not sure, but it's giving Batman and Robin, like it's like Baskin and also Robin. I don't know. But so she says she was Robin, Baskin and Robin, and I love to hear it. So the person who owned the store was super old and refused to update technology. We used our credit card machine that was basically from the nineties, and it was detached from our register and hooked up to the damn landline. A mess. I've actually worked with one of those before. I bartended in New York City with one of these where you had to write tabs down and just stick them on top of the credit card and then close everyone out at the end of the night.
9:54 Speaker 05 Oh, like a little like swipey thing?
9:57 Laci Mosley? No, like a little like, we just stuck your credit card on this rail at a bar and then we put a piece of paper on top of it with all the drinks you ordered and then at the end of the night.
10:08 Speaker 05 We charged it?
10:10 Laci Mosley? Yes, on an old timey charging machine.
10:13 Speaker 05 Interesting. I worked at a Cold Stone for like three years in high school and I was like a very much a wizard at the cash register, but um, yeah, it was not attached to a phone. It was updated.
10:25 Laci Mosley? Okay, that's cute. So wait, Cold Stone, was that like, is that where the girls like scrape the ice cream with the little um, paint thinners and then they slip it, cook it and shit?
10:35 Speaker 05 You scrape it, you put it on a cold sheet and you add like Kit Kats and stuff and you charge people like fourteen dollars, which was a big scam. People would be like, it's how much? And this was in Indiana, which is like, you know.
10:48 Laci Mosley? Whoa, yeah, that's way, that's way higher.
10:51 Speaker 05 I came in here for a scoop of butter pecan, because that's how they said pecans.
10:57 Speaker 05 And they're like, this is a hundred dollars.
10:59 Laci Mosley? I just love the image of you, Brendan, like, over here giving them a real show, like chop, chop, chop, flip, flip, flip. And they're like, that'll be forty dollars.
11:08 Speaker 05 I was like manager of that place. I was running that place. It was me and a bunch of like, high school girls who were on the soccer team and me. And we, we ran the Cold Stone, basically, in Valparaiso, Indiana.
11:21 Laci Mosley? Wow. It sounds like, the way you're making it sound, sounds like you were like, we ran the Cold Stone.
11:27 Speaker 05 We did, yeah.
11:28 Laci Mosley? We ran the.
11:28 Speaker 05 We sang.
11:30 Laci Mosley? You sang, yes. I wish I could have visited the Skullstone. So they were using their bootleg credit card machine. One night, when I was closing with another teen worker, she taught me a trick. A trick, you say, okay.
11:43 Speaker 05 Ooh, that sounds like it's gonna be a scam.
11:45 Laci Mosley? Right. What kind of trick is this? A legal one? That's what I'm gonna start calling scams, tricks. What you talking about? We just did a little magic trick and your money went away. What, what's wrong?
11:53 Speaker 05 Turning tricks, stealing.
11:56 Laci Mosley? Yes, yes. So whenever a customer bought a hand-packed pint and was paying cash, six, seven dollars, something like that, she would pack it and pretend to ring it up, but really ring in a kid's cone. That way she could make the change and enter the sale. Then she'd take the extra five dollars and put it in our tip jar. We got really good at this scam. We only did it with pints because there was no way to trace the inventory. Cones, we had to count. Hmm, okay.
12:21 Speaker 05 Wow. That sounds familiar.
12:24 Laci Mosley? Right. We also had two other minor scams going. The teen boys at the Quiznos across the street would trade us sandwiches for ice cream. And we, of course, hooked up our friends whenever they came in. The final scam was trading ice cream for weed, which I'm proud to say my dorky ass never did. Love the show. Okay, so you didn't do it, but somebody else was selling.
12:43 Speaker 05 I feel like weed is. So familiar. This, we also had a Quiznos across from the Cold Stone. And they would bring in stuff and we would give them stuff. One time a guy got fired, and as he was being fired, he stole like, a whole thing of ice cream, like a
12:56 Laci Mosley? Wow.
12:56 Speaker 05 huge container of it. But it's like, where do you put that, Josh?
13:00 Laci Mosley? I'm proud of him. That's the pettiest thing. How you gonna just try to roll out a bunch of ice cream?
13:04 Speaker 05 Stick it to the franchise owner.
13:07 Laci Mosley? Y'all could just go be churnin' the night, cuz I'm takin' this vat of ice cream. I don't know, I love that for him, though. Okay, Josh, we see you, King. I feel like this is a fun scam. Seems like you had a crotchety, mean boss and took a couple.
13:24 Speaker 05 Yeah, I mean, you can't trust, she sounds like a teenager, you just can't trust teens to run your business.
13:29 Laci Mosley? No. And that's the thing about minimum wage. It's like, y'all don't wanna pay people a living wage, so teenagers who have their income, for the most part subsidized by the families that they live in, y'all pay them shit, they sure rob you.
13:43 Speaker 05 Hire an adult.
13:44 Laci Mosley? Right. I keep telling people, like, y'all, I don't understand why people are mad about minimum wage going up when really, maybe your theft will go down, cuz y'all all get robbed. You pay a $7.25 an hour, I'm stealing something. I don't care where I work. If I work at an office, I'm stealing staples, those little tiny tacks. I'ma steal that stuff that you use instead of licking the envelope. I'ma rub it on all my home envelopes. Like, I'm takin' something.
14:05 Speaker 05 I'm just gonna print everything, all my documents at the work printer.
14:09 Laci Mosley? Yes.
14:10 Speaker 05 I worked at an accounting firm in college randomly, and I, yeah, I was supposed to, I had this huge scanning job that I was supposed to like scan all their files into documents, and I would just show up and like scan a file, check Reddit, do nothing for like six hours, and then I'd be like, well, bye.
14:30 Laci Mosley? I love this for you. I mean, that's what you're gonna get when you don't pay people. Why should they care? I would do the same thing. But for real, I'ma steal anything that's not nailed down if you're not paying me enough. I don't even care if I need it. I might steal it, walk out the door, throw it in the trash. I just don't want you to have it.
14:43 Speaker 05 So working from home, are you just like stealing your own?
14:47 Laci Mosley? Whenever I get to go to somebody else's office, I'm taking things. I literally went to Sweetgreen yesterday and I took 40 straws.
14:56 Speaker 05 I'm gonna recycle these.
14:58 Laci Mosley? Right, I need straws for my macho lattes.
15:01 Speaker 05 Wait, so when you're like shooting on a set, you know, are you somebody who like at lunch adds extra, puts a little bit extra food away to like take home for dinner? Is that your vibe?
15:11 Laci Mosley? See, I don't like carrying shit. One of my co-stars did do that all the time on my last job. But I will ask for certain snacks to be in my fridge and then I'll be like, yeah, for me as well. That's where I'll, that's my grift, for sure.
15:23 Speaker 05 It's like a weird job where for a little bit of it, like people will bring you whatever you need so that you don't. Basically, it's not even like a classist thing. It's like, it's so you that don't walk away. Cause if you walk away, they have to find you. And if they have to find you, it's annoying. So they're basically, it's like you feel like you're being like waited on, but you're just like a babe, a baby.
15:45 Laci Mosley? Right, you're also a child prisoner, basically. They're like, give, give the prisoner some juice so she'll shut up before, so we can get this take set up. I know what you mean.
15:53 Speaker 05 She needs to come play pretend. She needs to be in a good mood to play pretend.
15:57 Laci Mosley? Right, I've had, the most ridiculous thing I think I've ever had someone bring me on a set was, we were shooting on location and one of my contacts just fucking was like, bye girl, we're done. See, see you next time. And so someone had to go hit up a friend of theirs who was an optometrist, get my prescription and bring me a contact on set.
16:17 Laci Mosley? My fucking eyeballs.
16:18 Speaker 05 The scariest thing I ever did was for Heathers, they wanted me to shoot these like, this whole promo recap series and it was gonna be just me. And I was like, well, are you gonna pay me? And they were like, no. And that really pissed me off. And then, so when I showed up to do it, because I, at the time, thought you had to do everything a network asked you to do. Which scam, you don't.
16:40 Laci Mosley? You don't.
16:41 Speaker 05 You really don't. And so I, they were like, okay, does Brendan have any crafty requests for food? And I said, I only want moon juice. So everything on set that day, at Viacom, on Gower, in the basement of Viacom, in Hollywood, was just like a full spread of moon juice. And they did it.
17:02 Laci Mosley? Oh my god, that's amazing. For you guys who don't know- What moon juice is. Moon juice is some expensive
17:06 Speaker 05 Is a scam.
17:07 Laci Mosley? Ass scammy ass juice. Every time I go in there, I see common those. I'll be like, hey, moon juice. This what the celebrities drank?
17:15 Speaker 05 It's very like activated charcoal almonds for forty dollars.
17:20 Laci Mosley? And then you don't feel no different after you drink that shit. You know what you feel? A little lighter because you're a little broker.
17:26 Speaker 05 I think it gives you, it all gives you diarrhea.
17:29 Laci Mosley? But we love that in LA. We love that.
17:32 Speaker 05 It makes you lose weight.
17:34 Laci Mosley? Right. I mean, technically, uh, as always, though, uh, my disclaimer is a slap. We do not endorse harmful ways of losing weight. We are not fat phobic. Uh, but if y'all see me selling some skinny tea, mind your business, okay?
17:50 Laci Mosley? I always told people that at some point in my career, I wanted to sell skinny tea on fit on Instagram.
17:55 Speaker 05 That's like a, that's like not your gender things. That's like a girl Instagram ad type thing that just doesn't show up in my algorithm. Like all my ads are like, hey, do you want this pair of sweats? And it's a close up of a man's crotch in the sweats. You know, like, it's like, oh, maybe I do need some more shorts that are just a photo of a man's butt.
18:17 Laci Mosley? Look, gray sweatpants are lingerie for men. I hope that every man has a pair and they let that thing bang.
18:22 Speaker 05 Right now.
18:23 Laci Mosley? Yes, yes, Brendan. We love to see it and you gotta let that thing bang sometimes. Yes. Scam!
19:01 Speaker 02 Hi, I'm Jenna Ushkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast, a show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.
19:17 Speaker 06 People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic, in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.
19:28 Speaker 02 And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone. One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies. So join us and hear their stories and more, because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat. It's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast, on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on the free iHeart Radio app today.
19:59 Speaker 01 This January, bare-knuckle fighting championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Brew's Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool deck bare-knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Massive parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and nonstop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabs are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just $200 down at B K F S E A dot com.
20:30 Laci Mosley? Guys, it's time for Historic Hoodwinks. If this is your first time listening to the show, this is when I will regale Brendan with a famous con caper con artiste, and we'll get his opinions all throughout. Today, we're talking about somebody that I think I fuck with. We never know. Sometimes we'll fuck with a scammer. But this is Janice. Excuse me. Her name is Janice. I put a lot of seasoning on that.
20:54 Speaker 05 Janice?
20:55 Laci Mosley? I said, Janice. I'm a thoroughum.
20:59 Speaker 05 I don't know any Janices, so.
21:01 Laci Mosley? I do.
21:04 Laci Mosley? Like Janesia, that is not her, her name is Janice. But I'mma call her Janesia. So Janesia is a seventy-three-year-old bookkeeper, and she's been charged with stealing more than a million dollars from her employer, and then attempting to cover up the crime by setting her office on fire.
21:23 Speaker 05 Wow. Maybe she is a Janie. Wow. Okay, that's a Janice. That is a Janice.
21:29 Laci Mosley? She's not a Janie. She's definitely a Janice. She's got the Janice haircut.
21:33 Speaker 05 That is like the haircut that every boy has right now because they can't go to a barber.
21:37 Laci Mosley? Right? Oh damn. Here's the thing about Janice is I, I really want to root for her, but she, her face is giving me strong, like, call the manager. Like, she's called.
21:48 Speaker 05 She looks like all of my, um, female family members. She looks very, like, giving me those, these Irish Catholic fairness, blue eyes.
21:57 Laci Mosley? A blonde something. What we call that a bowl? Is that a bowl cut?
22:01 Speaker 05 That's a bowl cut.
22:03 Laci Mosley? Yeah. Okay. It's giving Pyrex. The haircut is giving Pyrex bowl. Um,
22:10 Laci Mosley? but okay, okay, Janice. So let's see what happens.
22:12 Speaker 05 I like that she has a mask.
22:14 Laci Mosley? Right. She did have a, y'all, she had a mask on. I wonder if she wore it for the fire.
22:20 Speaker 05 Hmm.
22:21 Laci Mosley? She wasn't.
22:22 Speaker 05 I don't think that medical mask does anything. She's gonna need like a K90, whatever.
22:27 Laci Mosley? Right. K95. Ew, yes. So, the backstory. Janice Carlson lives in San Jose and worked at Saratoga Real Estate Company for decades. However, she allegedly embezzled and stole money from 2014 through 2019. Five years on the grift. Amen.
22:44 Speaker 05 She started late in her life. She was like, where's my retirement fund?
22:49 Laci Mosley? Listen.
22:49 Speaker 05 No 401K, no pension at Saratoga. I'll tell you that.
22:54 Laci Mosley? Right. She probably started looking at her savings and said, oh, it's time for crime. And I love that for her. Truly. You gotta make your own 401K sometimes.
23:04 Laci Mosley? So, an investigator said she would issue checks from her employer to pay off personal credit cards, her personal home loan account, and her son's home loan accounts. Okay, so her son-
23:15 Speaker 05 Okay, so she's spreading the wealth.
23:18 Laci Mosley? She took care of her baby. We love a supportive mother. You know what I mean? Um, it is Women's History Month. Shout out to the women.
23:24 Speaker 05 Yeah, at that point, he seems like he's probably like in his 40s, so-
23:28 Laci Mosley? Right, oh yeah.
23:29 Speaker 05 Maybe he's struggling, can't overbuy. A lot of people overbuy.
23:34 Laci Mosley? That's true, and houses and shit.
23:35 Speaker 05 They buy too much house, yeah.
23:37 Laci Mosley? Hmm, you're right about that. Maybe. I also find it funny that she was like, like, she's showing up to the bank, she's showing up to Chase, you know, credit debit, and she's like, "Here's your check, girls." And they're like, "Okay, this says Saratoga Realty on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's um, that's my company. I'm Saratoga. That's my name, that's my other name."
23:55 Speaker 05 Saratoga.
23:58 Laci Mosley? It's hyphenated. Yeah, Saratoga.
24:00 Speaker 05 She's got an S corp, you know? We're all committing just a little bit of fraud through our S corps, right?
24:05 Laci Mosley? Just a dash, just a smidge, you know, for taste. I do fraud to taste. I'm like, mm, this tastes like enough fraud.
24:10 Speaker 05 Like, this Peloton is a business expense.
24:14 Laci Mosley? It is, technically, technically.
24:16 Speaker 05 It's research.
24:18 Laci Mosley? Not it's research. I do everything for research. So if I buy any movie, if I go see any play, hell, if I get my car washed, I'm like, "That was research. I, I'm gonna have to play a role as a car washer, so I need to watch them wash my car."
24:31 Speaker 05 Right.
24:32 Laci Mosley? I love a good, I love a good, uh, tax scam, the flavor. So, how she did it. On the morning of November 4th, 2019, Janice arrived to work around 7:30 a.m. This is-
24:43 Speaker 05 Wow, exact.
24:44 Laci Mosley? Hmm, love it. She's punctual. You, look, you can't be late and robbing the business, okay?
24:50 Speaker 05 You gotta be there first.
24:51 Laci Mosley? Right, you on time, they ain't asking no questions. She told police that after re-entering the office, she remembered an unknown assailant coming up from behind her, duct taping her eyes and her mouth as it's closed, and stripping her body down to her underwears before setting the place on fire. Okay, now, Janice-
25:14 Speaker 05 So, did they find her like that?
25:17 Speaker 05 Because how did she do, how do you do that by yourself?
25:21 Laci Mosley? Questions that need answers. I mean, you can tape your mouth and then your eyes. And then I bet if you like, really rolled around on some duct tape, you could probably get it around your wrist. And you do your ankles first, hands last, right?
25:35 Speaker 05 So she's saying she showed up to work at a realty, a Realtors company. Okay, so not a place where money is held in any sort of vault. And somebody tied her up and lit the place on fire?
25:49 Laci Mosley? Mm hmm, that's what she said. That's what she said. That happened to her. And they stripped her down too. They didn't, they, nothing salty happened, but for some reason, they did not want her to wear her clothes, which I feel like that's just she watched too many movies and she was like, I don't know.
26:03 Speaker 05 Watching too much Fatal Attraction.
26:05 Laci Mosley? What else? What else? They cooked my rabbit. They also cooked my rabbit on the stove, y'all.
26:11 Speaker 05 Janice definitely has a bunny.
26:13 Laci Mosley? Right. She definitely has a bunny, um, who got cooked on this day. So reports say that she did not have a memory of anything else related to the assault until she was awoken by fire sprinklers and being helped by the firefighters.
26:27 Speaker 05 This is, this sounds seductive to me, for me. Like, I'm getting deeply like she read this in an erotic book.
26:33 Laci Mosley? It's a little horny. It's a little horny, right? It's giving Shonda Rhimes. It's giving Bridgerton. It feels like the firemen pick you up and then, I don't know, y'all have a romp and the flames. I don't know.
26:45 Laci Mosley? Is that horny?
26:46 Speaker 05 Like, just having sex surrounded by fire?
26:51 Laci Mosley? The carbon monoxide really adds to the sexual experience.
26:57 Laci Mosley? So yes, very horny, uh, this description and this setup. So after Janice was rescued, uh, she was treated for a cut to the back of her head and a broken nose. Okay, commitment. So Janice, did you hit yourself with a bag of oranges? Because that's what it's like.
27:17 Laci Mosley? I don't know, or like, and she had to hit herself in the back of the head too. Was she just in there rocking back and forth in the corner, just hitting the nose, hitting the head?
27:25 Speaker 05 You hate that moment for Janice where she's like, just fucking do it, Janice.
27:31 Laci Mosley? You gotta. Just hyping herself up. You've been stealing money, you stupid bitch.
27:38 Speaker 05 You gotta do it.
27:38 Laci Mosley? This is perfect, Brendan. That voice is absolutely perfect. That's definitely Janice. She was like, come on.
27:42 Speaker 05 I have been pinned. I'm auditioning for Janice.
27:46 Speaker 05 I just bought the rights to Janice's story.
27:48 Laci Mosley? Honestly, you should. This would be a great role for you, Brendan, seriously. Because I definitely see her this way. She's probably just like, my son needs this money, like.
27:57 Speaker 05 A real left turn for Brendan.
28:00 Laci Mosley? Right. They were like, wow, yeah. So he went from bonding on Netflix. Yeah, he's in a Lifetime movie called Janice.
28:07 Laci Mosley? And the horny fire.
28:09 Speaker 05 Is it Janice or Denise?
28:11 Laci Mosley? We call her Janice, but it is Janice. But I feel like it's Janice or Janice in The Horny Fire, starring Brendan.
28:19 Laci Mosley? I don't know why. I want this for you. Let's make it happen. So soon after being released from the hospital, she immediately filed for workers' compensation and injury benefits. You know, as you do. Next step.
28:32 Speaker 05 Paperwork. Why wouldn't it be suspicious not to?
28:36 Laci Mosley? Right. That's absolutely what she should do. So deputies became suspicious of the crime when they noted that nothing had been taken from the scene and later documented the embezzlement. So.
28:49 Speaker 05 So did the lighting it on fire lead to them finding about, out about the embezzlement? She cooked her own book?
28:59 Laci Mosley? Literally, she physically cooked the book like it was stir fry. But I wonder if she knew that people were about to catch on or something. But here's my thing, Janice. Okay, if you want to fake a robbery, yes, go the fire direction. Absolutely. But are you trying to tell me that a man came up to you from behind, duct taped you, stripped you naked, and then began embezzling over four years' time?
29:24 Laci Mosley? He was like, what's your password, you old bitch? And then he was like, yes, I'm gonna embezzle so many checks over the next four years. Girl.
29:33 Speaker 05 I'm always curious about like these people's, uh, not to, uh, talk about it, but acting skills, like when they're being interrogated. You know, it's like, oh, you know what? He wrapped the duct tape around my eyes before, so, you know, I really couldn't get a look, good look at him.
29:48 Laci Mosley? Right.
29:48 Speaker 05 I don't know. I don't believe it. I don't, I don't believe it.
29:52 Laci Mosley? I also feel like she was telling the story like it was a YA novel. Like, I feel like she sat down and they were like, would you like some coffee? And she was like, no, no, I'm fine. So what happened was a strong man with burly hands ravaged me. First he took my eyes, then my mouth.
30:13 Speaker 05 He stripped off my pants from Delia's.
30:17 Speaker 05 My blouse from Marshall's.
30:20 Laci Mosley? And as it cascaded to the floor, I thought, is he gonna kill me? Like ma'am.
30:30 Speaker 05 Ma'am, I am wet.
30:32 Laci Mosley? She thought she could distract them with how horny it was. Cause yeah, why are they breaking into the Saratoga Realty, not stealing anything, stripping you naked, and setting the place on fire? Like, sis, the math ain't mathin'. We need some more maths.
30:46 Speaker 05 No motive. There's no motive here.
30:49 Laci Mosley? Right. The only person who has motive is you. So, you know, something didn't add up, makes sense. And the case was immediately classified as a suspicious circumstance rather than an assault and kidnapping. So damn, I could see Janice didn't even get away for a second.
31:05 Speaker 05 I'm telling you.
31:06 Laci Mosley? Authorities quickly ruled out any public threat. So this is how she got caught. Apparently, it wasn't long after Janice was confronted with an accounting irregularity that the office had been set on fire. So just like we were saying, like.
31:20 Speaker 05 Girl, this is an impulsive move. If you can cook the books, you can uncook the books.
31:25 Laci Mosley? You know, I think we actually have some transcript right now, um, from that actual conversation that happened at Janice's workplace. Uh, hey, uh, excuse me, Janice, could you come in here?
31:36 Speaker 05 Yeah, what is it, Bill?
31:38 Laci Mosley? Hey, Janice, um, so I just want to talk to you about some checks that we got. There's a little suspicious.
31:44 Speaker 05 Oh, my God, where's my lighter?
31:46 Laci Mosley? Wait, Janice, wait, why are you looking for your lighter? Wait, one more, we just want to figure out why Saratoga Realty is, um, making personal payments directly to Europeans Wax Center? Um, it looks like several waxes. In fact, a year package was purchased with a check from Saratoga Realty?
32:02 Speaker 05 Sorry, Bill, I thought you said you liked a landing strip.
32:06 Laci Mosley? No, no, no, no, we were talking about a home that we have that has a landing strip for a private plane. Yeah. Okay, seems like a simple mistake. Yeah, you can go back to your office, Janice.
32:15 Speaker 05 Oh, thanks. I actually don't have an office. I sit out in a cubicle, just out in the, you know, the bull, the bullpen.
32:21 Laci Mosley? Okay, yeah, you can go back there. You can go back there.
32:23 Speaker 05 Thanks.
32:23 Laci Mosley? All right, well, that adds up to me.
32:25 Speaker 05 I gotta call my son.
32:29 Speaker 05 I gotta call my son on his landline that I pay for.
32:33 Laci Mosley? Oh, my God, that's a little, so that's what happened, guys. That was real live, um, footage from, uh, Janice getting caught. Um, and then ironically, the office got set on fire. Weird, bizarre. So investigations found that Janice had already allegedly stolen more than forty-four thousand dollars from her employer.
32:51 Speaker 05 That's not even that much. That is not that much. I'm sorry. Over five, ever, how many years?
32:58 Laci Mosley? Wait a minute, though. So it's over five years, but that's the first discovery, right, is the forty-fourth year? More fraud was also discovered that allegedly involved Janice totaling more than five hundred and eighty thousand dollars from multiple other financial institutions. Because remember, this is real estate, so they're working with a lot of banks. They're working, you know what I mean? They're closing these deals. So as for Janice's assault and injuries, investigators said they appear to have been self-inflicted. Shocker. As detectives found no evidence suggesting she was working with an accomplice. I don't know, maybe she had her son hit her a couple times. He had to do something. He had to earn his keep.
33:34 Speaker 05 Isn't there, did she burn the cameras down?
33:37 Laci Mosley? That would be wise. Let's see. It says that Janice's thumbprint was also found on a piece of unspecified arson evidence.
33:47 Laci Mosley? I don't know.
33:48 Speaker 05 A lighter.
33:50 Laci Mosley? You know, unspecified arson evidence. You know what those are. Evidence also showed that Janice herself had used an accelerant to light the fire.
33:59 Speaker 05 Hmm, like gasoline or Ritalin?
34:04 Laci Mosley? You know, acetone, you know, I don't know anything about starting fires, but you know, something like that.
34:09 Speaker 05 Nail polish remover.
34:11 Laci Mosley? You know how the girls do. I'm very curious. Okay, so what was her hope with lighting the fire? That maybe the computer would catch fire and then all her embezzlements would be gone?
34:21 Speaker 05 I don't know. She has to know that everything is in the cloud.
34:24 Laci Mosley? Right. It's the most terrifying place in the world, the cloud.
34:28 Speaker 05 I think this is just pure desperation.
34:31 Laci Mosley? Honestly, the cloud is the reason I don't send nudes to people. Like, I once had a guy ask, well, guys have asked me for nudes, or girls too, but I don't send nudes. But one time, a guy kept asking me for nudes, so finally, I drew a picture, like a stick figure with some titties, and then I put a real picture of my face on the top. So I was like, here you go. Like, the cloud is everywhere.
34:51 Speaker 05 Hope you never get hacked for that.
34:53 Laci Mosley? Right.
34:53 Speaker 05 People will be like, Lacey is a freak.
34:57 Laci Mosley? It's worse than a nude. They're like, what is she into?
35:00 Speaker 05 She's got a child's drawing of a huge set of titties.
35:06 Laci Mosley? And her real face, like, haphazardly photoshopped onto it. Uh, yes, that's when you see that I have real problems. Robbery!
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37:12 Laci Mosley? And fraud! So let's talk about Janice and her time, time for her crime. Oh, so the Santa Clarita District Attorney's Office said that Carlstrom will be arraigned on arson, grand theft, workers' compensation fraud, and filing a fake police... Damn, they threw the whole library at my sis!
37:35 Speaker 05 Wow, even the workman's comp.
37:39 Laci Mosley? Damn, they threw-
37:39 Speaker 05 That should get wrapped into the cover-up crime, you know?
37:42 Laci Mosley? Right, come on now.
37:44 Speaker 05 If I was her public defender, because she does not have the money to pay for a defender.
37:47 Laci Mosley? Right.
37:48 Speaker 05 I'd be like, Judge, come on now. Look at Janice.
37:53 Speaker 05 Don't do this to her.
37:54 Laci Mosley? Yeah, show them, show them your sad face. Like, yeah, like, what is Janice really gonna do to society? Like, she's a feeble older woman. Let Janice live. Also, y'all didn't have to throw this many books at Janice. They done threw the whole fucking Harry Potter series at her. It was like, and the prison last, and also this one. And like, like, goddamn.
38:14 Speaker 05 Book seven split in two.
38:16 Laci Mosley? Like, this is a lot of books. I mean, J.K. Rowling is a turf, boo. But, um, but they threw a lot of books at my sis. So, over the past year, the sheriff's office said they collected evidence indicating that Carlstrom Janice was embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from her employer, with the latest estimate being around more, around like the $580,000 that we thought. Okay, that's not bad.
38:37 Speaker 05 That's a good amount. It's not crazy. It shows somebody who's like, you know, I'm only gonna take a little bit each year, you know, pad the books, but not like, take the whole book.
38:45 Laci Mosley? Right. I mean, a hundred K a year is a big pad.
38:49 Speaker 05 Yeah.
38:50 Laci Mosley? But I still love it for her. Honestly, I don't understand why she would draw more attention to herself by draw, like, making this fucking fire. Like, bitch, just move. Move towns. Change your name.
38:59 Speaker 05 Get a new haircut.
39:02 Laci Mosley? Definitely get a new haircut. A wig. Give us a wig moment, okay? Well, burning down the office just seems very counterproductive.
39:10 Speaker 05 No, that's definitely like, she's deeply unwell at that time, like, not feeling great.
39:15 Laci Mosley? Right.
39:16 Speaker 05 Nervous. Like, imagining Janice right before, just being like, I can't believe I'm about to fucking do this.
39:22 Laci Mosley? Right. She was probably.
39:23 Speaker 05 She'd already been in a life of crime, though, yeah.
39:25 Laci Mosley? True.
39:25 Speaker 05 Definitely panic.
39:26 Laci Mosley? And she was about to get discovered and maybe have to go to jail anyway. So, if you have to go to jail anyway, you might as well sprinkle some arsenic, you know, really make it cute for the girls.
39:34 Speaker 05 Mm-hmm. She said, I might as well just die in jail. I have no retirement.
39:38 Laci Mosley? That's true. Jail is, is a bad retirement plan, but they will house you and feed you.
39:44 Speaker 05 There's a library sometimes.
39:46 Laci Mosley? Right. You go to white collar jail, they have, you know, cricket, you know, you can make a sweater.
39:53 Laci Mosley? White collar jail is cute. Martha was living cute up in there.
39:56 Speaker 05 They're like, welcome to white collar jail where you are British.
40:00 Laci Mosley? Everyone's automatically British. It's just what happens in white collar jail. Um, yes.
40:07 Speaker 05 Okay, come through accents.
40:08 Laci Mosley? Thank you. Thank you. My special skills. Um, so when Janice was interviewed by detectives, she admitted making fraudulent payments and setting the fire to conceal the, damn Janice, you just sang like a stool pigeon, get out.
40:23 Speaker 05 Deny Janice, deny.
40:26 Laci Mosley? He was supposed to get in there and do the shaggy. It wasn't me. Like you're just supposed to get in there.
40:31 Speaker 05 She did not hold up to scrutiny.
40:33 Laci Mosley? No, not at all. She also confessed to making up the story about being assaulted by the unknown suspect. Okay, I hope at least your son did the punching or something like he had to do some kind of work for this. I felt like she was doing all the work and the son wasn't.
40:46 Speaker 05 Broke her own damn nose. Didn't have to do that.
40:49 Laci Mosley? He at least better be doing some dishes if he went breaking her nose and helping her out, you know?
40:54 Speaker 05 They're taking his house right now.
40:56 Laci Mosley? Damn, they are huh? Cause they know about it. Oh, and the feds are petty. They will take anything that's not nailed down. I feel so bad for old Janice. This is just tragic. Guys, if you're caught embezzling, just try to move. I don't know, leave the country.
41:11 Speaker 05 It's hard. We just don't take care of our elderly, you know?
41:15 Laci Mosley? Right.
41:15 Speaker 05 And I get that. She's, she, you said she's in her seventies, right?
41:18 Laci Mosley? Mm-hmm, seventy-three.
41:20 Speaker 05 She's still working. That is, that's the real criminality here is that at age seventy-three, you still have to be going into Saratoga Realty.
41:28 Laci Mosley? Right. Oh, you're right about that. Honestly, I'm on Janice's side. Like, get mad, honey. Steal all the money. I'm sorry, you're gonna probably spend a little time in jail and these are your twilight years, but maybe that could be a fun change. Cause when you're old, like you need a new purpose and maybe like going to white.
41:46 Speaker 05 I feel bad. Like my grandma, she got remarried at seventy-eight. So this is the time where like Janice could be, you know, meeting the new sugar daddy. Like she didn't have to go this direction. Like she still has it, the vavavoom.
42:00 Laci Mosley? You're right. And she's not, you know, for a seventy-three-year-old, there's some, she could be out here pulling some men. She could get her somebody.
42:05 Speaker 05 Totally.
42:06 Laci Mosley? Or women, whoever she prefers. Also, I'm not-
42:08 Speaker 05 Princess Diaries glow up. You could do it.
42:11 Laci Mosley? Janice, let us make you over. Cause prison is trash, and no way am I trying to glamorize prison because a prison industrial complex is ass, and y'all know that from me. But I will say, like, Janice, like, if you want an instant makeover, me and Brendan will make you over. It gets you a man. What's a little felony? When you're seventy-three, nobody cares if you're a felon. Like, that's cute. That's called a checkered past.
42:33 Speaker 05 Complicated.
42:35 Laci Mosley? Exactly. Would I set fire to a place if I had embezzled it? I feel like I would be-
42:41 Speaker 05 Too afraid. I think I'd be like, just take me. I, I don't think I had it, would have it in me to burn down a building.
42:47 Laci Mosley? Yeah, it just feels like a huge risk. Also, like, what if you burn it down and the fire girls don't get there quickly enough?
42:52 Speaker 05 What if somebody is, happens to be there before you, cooking their own books, you know? And you kill some. I, yeah, I just couldn't live with myself. Also, I have a great respect for property. And property ownership, you know, the man, that sort of thing.
43:08 Laci Mosley? The man, you know, boots, love licking them. Uh, they're tasty.
43:11 Speaker 05 I'm sure it was like an architecturally significant Saratoga realty, art deco.
43:19 Laci Mosley? You know, Andy Warhol's been in this Saratoga realty.
43:22 Speaker 05 Oh, yeah.
43:23 Laci Mosley? Yeah, so it's actually a historical landmark. Um, yes, we really care about Saratoga realty a lot. Okay, guys, well, let's get into our scammer of the week. So scammer of the week is where we highlight a famous charlatan who's really, truly worthy of our praise. Or maybe not. We never know. So today, ooh, Brendan, today we're talking about a Brandon.
43:45 Speaker 05 Oh, hello.
43:46 Laci Mosley? Not a Brendan, but a Brandon.
43:47 Speaker 05 Ooh, my Starbucks name.
43:51 Laci Mosley? That's probably so much easier. Uh, you know how many ways there are to mispronounce Lacey? I get in Ubers and they're like, hey, Lakai? I'm like, is it?
43:58 Speaker 05 Oh, no.
43:58 Laci Mosley? Lakai.
43:59 Speaker 05 Lakai.
44:00 Laci Mosley? Yeah. And in school, where you had the automatic lunch machine, did you have the automatic lunch machine in school that would like, basically announce to everybody if you were poor?
44:09 Speaker 05 We did not. I don't think so.
44:11 Laci Mosley? It was maybe, I don't know if it was just my school, but when you bought lunch at school, you had to swipe your little school card and it would take money off of your account. And then if your account was low, so it would be like, thank you, lassie. And it would like talk. And then if your account was low, it'd be like, account balance low. And I'm like, why are you?
44:31 Speaker 05 Feel that. I went to like this tiny little Catholic school. I graduated with like fourteen people, like I had no. There was like no lunch. You had to bring your own lunch.
44:44 Laci Mosley? Oh, now I imagine like a little house on the prairie, like.
44:47 Speaker 05 Deeply, yeah. I had pigtails.
44:51 Laci Mosley? I ran through the field to get to the school, which was in one room.
44:55 Speaker 05 Catholic school uniform, learned no math, only learned religion.
45:00 Laci Mosley? Yes, that's good for you. There's a lot of math in religion. Something about some loaves and some fishes. You could do math with that. That's a weird problem.
45:09 Speaker 05 That's a puzzle. That's calculus.
45:11 Laci Mosley? How many wines did Jesus turn from water? You know, things that the girls need to know. Uh, yeah, I don't know why my school machine did that, but it would snitch on us. It'd be like, you, balance low. And I'd be like, okay, you gotta yell? Like, why is the machine talking at all?
45:27 Speaker 05 This must be someone else's card.
45:30 Laci Mosley? Why are you trying to shame children? It's not like I got money to put on the card. Oh, wow. I didn't realize that that was abnormal until now. So guys, Brandon, back to Brandon. He was arrested February seventeenth, twenty twenty one, on charges of false reporting. We're going back to another false report. Let's stay in a theme here. False reporting to law enforcement. Love it. They believe he faked his own kidnapping in order to be excused from his job at the tire store.
46:02 Speaker 05 Not worth what?
46:05 Laci Mosley? Brandon is so young looking.
46:08 Speaker 05 He's young, but looks old to me. Like he's got like the goatee moment. That's like I'm trying to become a man.
46:16 Laci Mosley? Yeah, and he's got a very spotty beard. Like his beard is definitely not four G. Um, he's giving me-
46:23 Speaker 05 His face, he's got kind of like Matt Dillon hair from the nineties or like a Johnny Depp cut.
46:28 Laci Mosley? I see it. I see it. His eyes are giving lifeless. They're not really giving a lot of uh depth behind there. So we might need to be putting him away. Um, his brows will be good if he brushed them. I don't know why I'm going through this whole little boy's face. But yeah, his, his mustache, his mustache has a strong two bars. We're really, we need more signal from the mustache, but it's alright.
46:51 Speaker 05 He's got a great cut though. Loving the cut.
46:53 Laci Mosley? Because he got some product in it. Okay. So Brandon worked at a car shop in Coolidge, Arizona, where he installed tires and drove around the area to pick up parts for the store, police said. Drove around the area to pick up parts.
47:06 Speaker 05 Okay, sure. I've, I don't know that world. I imagine that's part of it.
47:11 Laci Mosley? Hmm, sounds sketchy. And then he also would drive around the area for, you know, parts lying around. You know how parts be-
47:18 Speaker 05 My various jobs, replacing tires, parts.
47:22 Laci Mosley? How car parts be, they just be lying around.
47:25 Speaker 05 Whenever I have an audition for like something that's like a cop or anything, I'm like, yeah, so talking like, you know, that life. We try to, basically, I'm basically just like, I wonder if I could not come across as gay in this audition.
47:41 Laci Mosley? You can, you can. Uh, or, or you, or you just do. As a, I don't know. I, I turn down cop auditions at the moment because I can't be a lovable cop. If there was like a despicable cop who came around, maybe I would do that. But I've like seen some auditions where like, she's a cop and she's fun. And I'm like, hmm.
47:58 Speaker 05 Hmm, no.
47:59 Laci Mosley? Not my experience with cops. Not fun.
48:02 Speaker 05 Sorry Jake Johnson and that movie Let's Be Cops.
48:06 Laci Mosley? Right. I once had, okay, the weirdest, okay, not the worst, because I don't want to bum you guys out, but I've had some bad experience with police because hello, I'm black, I'm openly black, I'm coming out as black today. Um, like I do every day when I leave my house. But I once got pulled over after leaving a catering event in downtown LA. And you know how downtown LA has like eight lanes, but they all one way?
48:26 Speaker 05 Mm hmm.
48:26 Laci Mosley? Well, I'm from Texas. I don't understand that. So when I first got here, I was just like, lanes. And fully didn't read these signs. So I was driving down the wrong lane of like an eight lane street trash. I get pulled over by a cop on a motorcycle, which I'm already like motorcycle cop. I don't like anybody on two wheels. It just feels like a scam. Like how you-
48:44 Speaker 05 It's very Terminator two for me where I'm like, you're about to fucking kill me.
48:47 Laci Mosley? Exactly. So he pulls me over and he's like, hey, do you know why I pulled you over? And I was like, uh uh, what's up? And I would never talk like that to a police officer. I was like, oh no, officer, I don't. Also, I'm British. That makes me like a little bit more of a white black than normal. You like that, isn't it? Um, I do that for cops and also for uh, any historical black figure movies. Cause they love to pick British black actors. So I'm like, well, I can do that too.
49:15 Speaker 05 That's Harriet.
49:17 Laci Mosley? Right?
49:18 Speaker 05 There she is.
49:19 Laci Mosley? Thank you guys so much for having me in today. I would love to play Harriet Tubman. Harriet has been a dream of mine to be Harriet.
49:26 Speaker 05 Harriet Tubman.
49:28 Laci Mosley? Harriet Tubman.
49:31 Laci Mosley? Coming with the strongest cocky accent. I would love to be Harriet Tubman. She did so much for the slaves.
49:37 Speaker 05 Don't say the first letter of any word. That's British.
49:41 Laci Mosley? For the slaves? Like even when you definitely need the first-
49:44 Speaker 05 Laves. I'm a lave.
49:47 Laci Mosley? I'm like, oh, don't beat me. I'm a lave. How was that, guys? Did my accent slip out? Um, so yeah, you know, I'm putting on the funk, right? He goes, have you been drinking tonight? And I was like, no. I left the catering event, so I was working. But I was like, no. And he was like, blow on my hand.
50:07 Speaker 05 Excuse me? Blow your hot breath onto his hand?
50:10 Laci Mosley? Yes, he asked me to blow on his hand. I guess to see if he could smell the alcohol or the fuck with me.
50:18 Speaker 05 Did he bring his hand up to his?
50:20 Laci Mosley? He brought his. He brought his hand and his face close to mine and he was like, blow on my hand. So if like, I was like, am I blowing your mouth? What's happening? And then, you know, I'm black, so I was like, okay.
50:34 Laci Mosley? Don't kill me.
50:37 Speaker 05 That is not covid friendly, okay?
50:40 Laci Mosley? But is that a procedure? Brenda, can you tell me blowing on the hand?
50:44 Speaker 05 I think maybe you just got me tooed, like.
50:49 Speaker 05 I don't think you, I don't think that's a thing.
50:53 Laci Mosley? You've been drinking at night, suck on my finger and then I'll smell it. What?
50:58 Speaker 05 It's like that episode of Friends where Joey's like, you know, that's how they do pants. And the guy who's been making his pants his whole life has been cupping his balls, you know?
51:06 Laci Mosley? Yeah, that's how they do pants. Yeah, I know how they do pants from the back. No, oh, man. Boy, oh, boy. That was, that's only happened to me one more time and I'll just say it because we're on the subject. I was in London and I had a doctor who like every time I would come, because I'd had a cyst removed, but it was like near my butt. So I had to, this is so TMI. I had to like get, take my panties off and get it like dressed every day until it healed. And I got some free surgery that I stole from London. Ew, thanks, Chelsea Westminster, I'll never pay you bitch.
51:40 Laci Mosley? And the doctor would always be like, you know, you always wear these skinny little knickers. And he was talking about my thongs. And I was like, oh, yeah, I be wearing thongs. And he was like, you know, you're so fit. And I was like, I do be running. And then I didn't know that fit meant like hot.
51:53 Speaker 05 Hot, yeah.
51:55 Laci Mosley? I'm like ass naked and he's like, you're so fit. I'm like, thank you, sir. I do be running.
52:01 Speaker 05 He was he like, I feel like we're really cracking on.
52:04 Laci Mosley? Maybe, oh, Lord, I was oblivious.
52:08 Speaker 05 I go to a gay doctor, obvious because you have to.
52:11 Laci Mosley? Oh, that's wonderful.
52:11 Speaker 05 Different needs and sometimes like these doctors can be a little bit like over familiar. You know, like one time I had a doctor, the nurse practitioner in the office, like swab my mouth, you know, and he went really deep and I was like, and he was like, you need to work on your gag reflex. And I was like, excuse me? You're a, you're a medical professional.
52:35 Laci Mosley? I love that for you.
52:38 Laci Mosley? You were like, I don't, I, I have one gay doctor. He is my urgent care doctor who I love to visit because I love to panic. And he's like that too, but I receive it, like I'll come in panic about something. He's like, Lacey, why are you worried about this? And he's like, you don't have any of these diseases. I really need you. Like he'll just come to therapize me sometimes and I'm like, okay. But also there's a really hot nurse at my doctor's office that is so fucking hot. And I was trying to like track him down because I think like we belong together. One time he like did my intake and I was like, this man is beautiful. And every time I go to see the doctor over there, I always have something really embarrassing and then he's always there when I have something embarrassing.
53:18 Laci Mosley? Like when COVID first started, I thought maybe I had COVID because I had a flu and I didn't have COVID. But I was like, hey, um, what are, they were like, what are your symptoms? And I was like, uh, and the hot guy was there and I was like, uh. Diarrhea?
53:39 Laci Mosley? It's cute though, like the cutest diarrhea you could imagine, like it don't even smell.
53:44 Speaker 05 One of my gay doctors is really hot and he's always just like, okay, so like how many sexual partners? And I'm always like, well, you know, just waiting on Mr. Right.
53:53 Laci Mosley? Does Jesus count?
53:56 Speaker 05 I'm free tonight.
53:58 Laci Mosley? Right. He's the only one I let inside of me. So what's up? Yeah, it's trying to be hot for medical professionals. I love it. Big tangent, back to what's happening here. So Brandon, on February 10th at about 5:25 PM, the police responded to a report about an injured man in an area near the train tracks. Okay, train tracks, cute. Also, it sounds like you-
54:23 Speaker 05 Come through old timey villain.
54:26 Laci Mosley? We love an old timey villain. So Nicola reported that a man was going in and out of consciousness. When the officers arrived, they found a man later identified as Brandon with his hands bound behind his back and a belt and a purple bandana stuffed in his mouth. Hmm. I love that the people who called the cops were like, he's going in and out of consciousness. Y'all didn't notice he was tied up?
54:49 Speaker 05 That's definitely his belt, because he needs it.
54:52 Laci Mosley? Right, because his pants are hanging off. And it matches his shoes. Did you just like, pick your workout fit and was like?
54:58 Speaker 05 There's really a theme this week of just people tying themselves up.
55:03 Laci Mosley? Mm-hmm. Also, the tie that he looked, doesn't look very tight. It feels like he could wriggle out of that.
55:08 Speaker 05 Mm-hmm.
55:09 Laci Mosley? Am I crazy?
55:10 Speaker 05 No, you're not.
55:11 Laci Mosley? Okay, so guys, we're looking at a photo of this man, Brandon, laying in a ditch. He did a very good job of rolling around in said ditch to just really give us ashiness, give us panic. Give us a ditch moment.
55:22 Speaker 05 Blue, short sleeve button down with the collar popped?
55:25 Laci Mosley? Yes, so it feels as though this is his work uniform. Um, he did pop his collar before he faked his kidnapping, because you know, gotta stay fresh.
55:36 Laci Mosley? Kidnappers not gonna catch him slipping, okay?
55:41 Laci Mosley? Uh, so yeah, so when the officers arrived, they found a man later identified as Brandon with his hands bound behind his back and a belt and a purple bandana stuffed in his mouth, right? A photo from the police department showed Brandon with his hands tied, he's lying on the ground, giving us a cute, uh, kidnapped moment. So Brandon told officers that after completing an errand that morning, he returned to his home where two masked men abducted him near his vehicle, struck him in the back of the head, and knocked him unconscious. Brandon said the men drove me around in a vehicle before they let me out in an area where I was found. Okay.
56:15 Speaker 05 Okay.
56:17 Laci Mosley? So.
56:17 Speaker 05 He has been reading up on the, is everyone reading the same manual on how to kidnap yourself? Like, hit yourself in the back of the head.
56:26 Laci Mosley? That's the sweet spot. Uh, okay, here's my curiosity.
56:29 Speaker 05 What's the crime?
56:32 Laci Mosley? No shame, Brandon, but why would two people go out, buy some ski masks for $5.99 on Amazon, don't tell me why, I know, and, and then show up to your home and ro- and take you, take you, Brandon? What did you have to?
56:48 Speaker 05 Like, there's no motive here. Like, is he, what do they want from him?
56:53 Laci Mosley? What were you gonna give them, Brandon?
56:55 Speaker 05 A day off work? Is he just literally avoiding work?
56:59 Laci Mosley? Judging by the belt and the shoes that you're wearing during this abduction, I don't know if you have anything to give them, Brandon, no shade. But I'm curious. So he was taken to a hospital where he was evaluated and interviewed by the police. This is when he told investigators that he had been kidnapped because his father had a large amount of money hidden throughout the desert.
57:18 Speaker 05 Okay, this is Shia LaBeouf's holes.
57:21 Laci Mosley? Right, I was like, so your daddy is the nigga from Hoes?
57:25 Speaker 05 Dig it up, babe.
57:26 Laci Mosley? Dig it up.
57:30 Laci Mosley? They saying that the whole time they were driving me around.
57:35 Speaker 05 I was kidnapped by Armpit and one of the other characters.
57:41 Laci Mosley? Armpit, yo, what was that one who didn't talk? It was in the whole.
57:45 Speaker 05 Zero, cuz he didn't say anything.
57:47 Laci Mosley? Armpit and Zero pulled up.
57:49 Speaker 05 Fifty chap- that, that book is fifty chapters. I remember reading it in, you know, grade school and being like, I just read a fifty chapter book.
57:57 Laci Mosley? Same, same. They had lots of spaces in between them sentences, but it was still fifty chapters and I took the W. Um, so this is how he got caught. For days, detectives tried to investigate his account by reviewing surveillance video of the area and interviewing people that he mentioned. Hospital records show that Brandon had no concussion or injury to his head, and text messages reviewed by detectives did not show messages or phone calls that Brandon described. Eventually, and after repeated confronting, Brandon, with problems in his story, detect- uh, basically they were like, Brandon, you lying. Brandon, you lying. He was like, no, I'm not, I'm for real, Zero. And that nigga Armpit came, and then we rode around in a Ford Explorer, and then they left me by the train tracks.
58:41 Speaker 05 There were no texts, no emails, no calls. Contactless crime.
58:47 Laci Mosley? Right, contactless crime. You, you've heard of contactless delivery. We also have contactless crime. It's very healthy and safe. I appreciate it. So they're basically like, Brandon, girl, you lying, stop with the lies. And eventually, he breaks. Cuz hospital records show that, you know, none of this shit was true. So eventually, he basically says his story was fabricated and no kidnapping or assault occurred. Duh. They also determined that the story of hidden treasure was false. Damn, you didn't even have no treasure for real?
59:19 Speaker 05 It's a tall towel.
59:21 Laci Mosley? He goes in there and he files like a stolen, like insurance claim for the missing treasure. Uh, man, you did not think this through. They also determined that basically a manager from the tire store declined to comment on the arrest. And according to Brandon's Facebook profile, he no longer works there. The profile's now private. Um, so I'm guessing he just did all of this to get out of work?
59:47 Speaker 05 I mean, to avoid getting fired for skipping a shift.
59:51 Laci Mosley? It just feels like, like what happened to sick? Maybe he had called us sick too many times. It was time to call in kidnapped.
59:57 Speaker 05 Right. That's desperate. That is Brandon. Just show up.
1:00:02 Laci Mosley? Brandon, you don't want to go, your job must be really bad if you were rather late in a ditch next to the train tracks.
1:00:10 Speaker 05 You're already out of the house. It's not like you're at home watching Netflix, like making quesadillas, which is what I do all day, but it's like, what are you? You're just getting yourself really dirty.
1:00:21 Laci Mosley? You're in your, you're in your uniform. You could have just went to work. Like, we had to do this. Brandon, I don't know.
1:00:27 Speaker 05 He was already running an errand in the morning, driving around picking up parts.
1:00:32 Laci Mosley? Guys, have any of you called in kidnapped? Let me know. Is this a good strategy? Should I try this?
1:00:37 Speaker 05 I still like, don't really believe when people are sick because I, I would just pretend to be sick all my childhood to stay out of school.
1:00:45 Laci Mosley? That was wise of you. I mean, and truly you were actually sick. You were sick of going to school. That's it.
1:00:50 Speaker 05 Yeah.
1:00:50 Laci Mosley? That works.
1:00:51 Speaker 05 I was sick of it.
1:00:53 Laci Mosley? I'm sick of this shit. I'll be on because I'm tired of it. Okay?
1:00:57 Speaker 05 What are you sick of? It.
1:00:59 Laci Mosley? It, okay? And when I get well, I'll let you hoes know.
1:01:04 Laci Mosley? But it won't be soon. So don't even wish that, okay? Uh, wish me a long recovery because that's what I need. Oh, yes. Okay, guys. Man, what a fun episode. We've reached the end and I have to let Brendan go. Before I do that, Brendan, we always ask, where do you want people to find you and your content?
1:01:21 Speaker 05 Oh, yeah. Go watch, go watch Bonding on Netflix. It's really quick. It's a little BDSM comedy. There's two seasons of it, but they're both really short episodes. They're like 15 minutes each and, uh, yeah. Trying to stay off social media right now, so don't find me there.
1:01:36 Laci Mosley? Oh, okay. Cleanse yourself. Cleanse your mind. I love that. I loved it. I love how you get roped into this crazy world and then you're like fully a part of it. I have to finish it, but I started bonding not too long ago and I was like, okay, yes.
1:01:50 Speaker 05 It just really gets like the loins going.
1:01:53 Laci Mosley? It does. It's very horny. There's a lot of leather. There's a lot of leather. It's, it's, you look really hot in it, too. It's, it's great. It's a feast for the eyes and for the brain. Yes.
1:02:02 Speaker 05 That's what it's all about. Looking good.
1:02:03 Laci Mosley? Yeah, that's all, my only scam.
1:02:06 Speaker 05 They're making these cameras so intense now.
1:02:09 Laci Mosley? They need to stop.
1:02:10 Speaker 05 Blurring up.
1:02:11 Laci Mosley? Like, what happened to the 1920s cameras? Man, I wish I could have acted in the 20s and then everyone was talking like this and John, it's gonna be a big rabble rouser. Like, nobody had to act in the, in the 50s.
1:02:23 Speaker 05 No, they were all just like fresh out of vaudeville. Like, what's the pictures?
1:02:27 Laci Mosley? The talkies? Like, you get yourself in a talkie? Oh, these, people said things like, "Y I order." Like, I wish.
1:02:34 Speaker 05 Lot of old timey villains doing stuff near the train stations.
1:02:39 Laci Mosley? Which is where this, this episode clearly got its inspiration from, was lots of old timey villains. Um, love you guys. Uh, you vaudeville comedian criminals. Uh, guys, if you want to find us, Scam Goddess Pod on all platforms. If you want to send us your scams, just make sure they're retired. [email protected] . And if you want to follow me and my shenanigans, D I B A L A C I, Diva Lacy on all platforms. I'm back on ABC's The Con Guy, so look out for that. We telling some new fun stories, honey, and me, as a con expert, the biggest con I've pulled off so far. Stay Schemin. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf Production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me, duh, Scam Goddess, AKA Lacey Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea
1:03:23 Laci Mosley? Jacobson and engineered by Marina Baiz with research by Sherrilyn Vera. Stay Schemin.
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Previous Daycare Dollars & SmackDown Schemes w/ Hannah Pilkes Next The Death Defying Duper Mark Olmsted w/ Jamie Loftus (Re-Release) Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated