Norway's Crotch Enlarging Ski Jumping Scandal w/ Jon Daly

Laci welcomes actor, comedian, and writer Jon Daly (Big Mouth) to discuss his alter ego as the Muffin Man, and his relationship to scams. Laci breaks down how key members of Norway’s ski jumping team were disqualified from the Winter Olympics after being caught on camera illegally altering their uniforms. Plus, in Scammer of the Week, a married couple pleaded guilty to using social media to defraud dozens of homeowners with promises of custom home renovations, leaving victims with unfinished houses. Stay schemin’! CON-gregation, catch Scam Goddess LIVE at a city near you. Keep the scams coming and snitch on your friends by emailing us at [email protected]. Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Jon Daly: @jondalygram Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6961222/2026/01/20/olympics-norway-ski-jumping-scandal-suspensions/ https://people.com/norwegian-ski-jumping-team-suspended-for-enlarging-crotch-area-uniforms-11891468 https://apnews.com/article/ski-jumping-suit-scandal-norway-crotch-a15ae26420ff0261b72fd8fdf57ac6ec https://www.businessinsider.com/why-ski-jumpers-fly-in-a-v-shape-2014-1 https://www.jezebel.com/norway-ski-jump-scandal https://www.foxnews.com/us/texas-couple-labeled-fake-chip-joanna-gaines-admits-5m-dream-home-renovation-scam

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:55Speaker 04

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• 2:45Speaker 04

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• 2:47Speaker 05

  Ask your loved one's doctor about Rexulti.

• 2:52Speaker 06

  Scam, card, robbery, and fraud. Scam, card, robbery, and fraud. Scam Goddess.

• 3:11Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, host of the podcast All About Robbery, Fraud, and Those Who Practices. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. Most of the times, we will be laughing at them. And today, we have a comedian, an actor, a writer, and a producer on the show. You've seen him on Masterminds, Amazon's Fallout, Twisted Metal, Zoolander 2, and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. And you've probably heard his voice on shows that I love, like Big Mouth, American Dad, 10 Year Old Tom, and my personal favorite, y'all already know what it is, Bob's Burgers. Yes, congregation, please welcome John Daly to the show. Hi, John.

• 3:51Speaker 08

  What is up? Lacey, how are you?

• 3:53Laci Mosley?

  I'm good. How are you?

• 3:54Speaker 08

  Let's scam it up. Let's go.

• 3:56Laci Mosley?

  I love this energy. Okay, I love it coming in.

• 3:58Speaker 08

  I love your energy. I love your energy.

• 3:59Laci Mosley?

  Let's go. You're bringing me up. I'm waking up.

• 4:02Speaker 08

  This is already fantastic. I'm having a great time.

• 4:04Laci Mosley?

  Love that.

• 4:05Speaker 08

  Club Scandam with Bill Maher. This is great. Let's go. No, I mean.

• 4:09Laci Mosley?

  Oh, Lord.

• 4:10Speaker 08

  Anyway.

• 4:10Laci Mosley?

  But I have to ask you, John, clearly you have some kind of affinity for scams.

• 4:15Speaker 08

  I don't know that I do.

• 4:16Laci Mosley?

  WWE kind of like energy up top.

• 4:19Speaker 08

  Okay, okay. Well, no, I'm just, I'm just.

• 4:21Laci Mosley?

  No, I love it.

• 4:22Speaker 08

  I'm just trying to bring it, you know?

• 4:23Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you are.

• 4:24Speaker 08

  I try and bring it. I'm not like a scammer, but I, I, I, yeah, I was trying to, I was like going through my scam history. I definitely had a shoplifting thing when I was a kid. Um, and, but really just being a real pussy about it. Like, no, not good stuff. Just like, once we stole some, like, it was like always with friends and somebody would kind of distract the cashier. And then I'd put like a, some video or something in my, in like a couple DVDs in my leg.

• 4:56Laci Mosley?

  DVDs are pretty large. I was a chapstick thief.

• 4:59Speaker 08

  Right, right.

• 5:00Laci Mosley?

  DVD, you gotta really, were you wearing cargos?

• 5:03Speaker 08

  Well, we got caught, you know, we didn't do this well. Um, yeah, we, we were wearing cargos and the thing was you'd kind of tie, uh, tie off your.

• 5:11Laci Mosley?

  Oh, at the bottom, at the ankle.

• 5:13Speaker 08

  Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

• 5:14Laci Mosley?

  Okay. But then you're walking out and DVDs are just like clanking.

• 5:17Speaker 08

  Right, exactly.

• 5:19Laci Mosley?

  And there's like a square shape in your leg.

• 5:20Speaker 08

  I mean, yeah, and you never get your hands on what you want because you're in a rush and it's not good. I remember when I was like, uh, five years old, I, I was like, uh, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna try stealing or whatever. I was like with my mom. I think I was probably a little older, maybe eight.

• 5:35Laci Mosley?

  I love trying it out as an activity. You know what I'm gonna try?

• 5:37Speaker 08

  Maybe I'll try being a bad kid. And, uh, I stole some Brock's caramel creams, which I loved and my mom wouldn't buy us candy. So I just took it out of one of those, uh, you know, candy, uh, big, like huge candy things and stuck it in my pocket. And then I got caught and my mom caught me and then she brought me to the manager and had the manager scold me as an eight year old. And I cried and everything. So I learned my lesson. Yeah.

• 6:01Laci Mosley?

  Oh, wow. She gave you a life lesson.

• 6:03Speaker 08

  She gave me a life lesson.

• 6:04Laci Mosley?

  She okay snitched on you though. She didn't have to snitch, but I think, I guess she was like real world consequences.

• 6:09Speaker 08

  Right. She wanted me to deal with like a different, a stranger that was like gonna pretend to be mad at me. And it was, that was, that was harsher. Yeah.

• 6:17Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's scarier for sure.

• 6:19Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 6:19Laci Mosley?

  I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I caught. I don't have any children. If I did, I don't know if I I definitely would reprimand them, but I don't know if I'm gonna take them straight up to the man.

• 6:27Speaker 08

  Right.

• 6:28Laci Mosley?

  But we have two different experiences, John. You know what I mean?

• 6:30Speaker 08

  Right, right, right.

• 6:31Laci Mosley?

  Your mom probably could get away. They're like, oh, this nice white lady is bringing him to for a son to have a lesson. I might bring him up there. They'd be like, get the nightsticks out and, you know, like.

• 6:38Speaker 08

  All right.

• 6:39Laci Mosley?

  So.

• 6:39Speaker 08

  Yeah, okay. All right, yeah, that's true.

• 6:42Laci Mosley?

  It's very wholesome that she taught you that lesson.

• 6:43Speaker 08

  I was using my white privilege. Yeah, definitely.

• 6:46Laci Mosley?

  Well, she was, but in a good way.

• 6:48Speaker 08

  Yeah, in a good way, yeah.

• 6:49Laci Mosley?

  Keeps you out of the clink.

• 6:50Speaker 08

  She was teaching me a lesson, yeah.

• 6:51Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 6:52Speaker 08

  And then, I gotta say, the most consistent scam that I've run is, uh, when I was in New York, coming up in comedy, I was, uh, you know, doing stuff at UCB, doing stand-up. And, uh, I was waiting tables. So I was just like waiting tables.

• 7:07Laci Mosley?

  Same.

• 7:08Speaker 08

  And I worked at a place that was like kind of a chain. I won't mention the name, but it was like, there were like five of them in Brooklyn and Manhattan. And

• 7:18Laci Mosley?

  Hmm.

• 7:18Speaker 08

  Uh, this one was like in the West Village and, uh, kind of like on Six Ave and

• 7:23Laci Mosley?

  We're getting close to the name of the chain, John.

• 7:25Speaker 08

  Okay, it's terrible. It's terrible. I don't, it's a terrible place. I, but it was a wonderful place to work and I loved the people there. And everybody was just, uh, yeah, everybody was partying and it was super fun. And, uh, so I'd go there and like, I, I think I worked there, like I had friends that worked at Michael's and Serendipity. And I'd be like, how much are you making a shift? And they'd be like, oh, I work three days a week and I make 550 a shift. Or like seven, $700 a shift if I work brunch at Serendipity or something like that. And I was like, oh my God. And I was working and my rent was super cheap. Uh, my roommate was Adrian Grenier from Entourage. And, uh, that was literally my first roommate. And, um, he was very nice, nice enough to let me live with him. And,

• 8:09Speaker 08

  uh, I was, uh, so it was like six months in, I was like counting my, you know, take home. I was like 215 bucks on a Friday night, like.

• 8:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh, on a Friday night?

• 8:19Speaker 08

  It was really bad.

• 8:19Laci Mosley?

  Hell no, in New York City?

• 8:20Speaker 08

  No, you can't live like that, right? So, so I'm saying, so after people realized that was cool, they were like, here, come here, I'm gonna teach you this scam. That every single. Yeah, exactly.

• 8:31Laci Mosley?

  They knew you weren't an artist.

• 8:32Speaker 08

  Yeah, and it was, and they were basically, the scam was this. It was, and you might have had this brought up because I think this is kind of common, but it was, it was a time when way more people paid with cash. This was like 2005, so there was a lot of cash being paid. People paid cards and then you didn't do the scam, but if people paid cash, you would, you were like putting a, putting the order into the computer, into the aloha system. And then you would kind of like make a receipt and give them the receipt. And if they paid with cat, if they paid with card, you'd run their card and they'd give you a tip on the card.

• 9:07Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 9:07Speaker 08

  They paid with cash, I would just double, give them a fake ticket. You just go reprint ticket and it reprints it. So it's not their bill. It's just a receipt that you can kind of see, like everything that's on your thing, but it's not a bill. And then give them their receipt. Most people just don't think about it and they give you like 40 bucks and then you keep that 40 bucks. And they give you a tip on top of it. And so I started taking home like 450, 500 a night. I was paying my rent. I was not like trying to stretch out a burrito over a day anymore and stuff like that. Yeah.

• 9:40Laci Mosley?

  Which is tough if you're working those long shifts and it's busy.

• 9:43Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 9:43Laci Mosley?

  I almost feel like this scam is giving me the inclination that this restaurant, probably their tip out system was a little shady.

• 9:50Speaker 08

  Boom, that's it. And everyone was in on it.

• 9:52Laci Mosley?

  So some servers realized like, oh, the tip out system is a little shady. Like, why am I paying? I worked at a restaurant once where we were paying like the kitchen, the cooks.

• 9:59Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 10:00Laci Mosley?

  Like we, we, I'm, am I paying a light bill? Like, what's going on?

• 10:03Speaker 08

  That's how I felt.

• 10:04Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 08

  I was like, oh, this bartender's not making enough. He's making more than everybody, but I have to tip him out.

• 10:09Laci Mosley?

  So now you start to figure out the system.

• 10:11Speaker 08

  But here's the thing, like, yeah.

• 10:13Laci Mosley?

  You can't do too much though, because then it gets a little hot.

• 10:15Speaker 08

  Yeah, and no, you can't do it too much. You have to, you have to take your time. You have to do a couple an hour and you can't get greedy and people told you that. You know, it's like, don't get greedy with this because like we're in a weird bubble like situation. And there was this guy, the manager, who like, I thought, I was terrible at waiting tables. I was never, I couldn't be bothered. I was just like horrible at it, you know?

• 10:35Laci Mosley?

  I was pretty bad too.

• 10:36Speaker 08

  Yeah, unless I was.

• 10:37Laci Mosley?

  I was a personality hire.

• 10:37Speaker 08

  Yeah, I was, thank you. I was a personality hire, I was funny and I partied with everybody. And you know what made me good with tables and made me also realize I had a pretty bad ADHD was taking cocaine when I waited tables. I would like, I, and it wasn't a lot, by the way. I would be, I would be drunk and take, but you know, this was poor people. We didn't have any, any, but once in a while, and when it was there, man, I'd do it. And I was like, smooth as silk. I was so good. I was so organized. I wouldn't even have to think about it. But ordinarily, I'd be like, oh, God, the fucking.

• 11:10Laci Mosley?

  And reality, you just needed Adderall.

• 11:11Speaker 08

  Who, who, who got the fries? Exactly. And then I took Adderall and Adderall like chilled me out in this way. I was like, whoa.

• 11:17Laci Mosley?

  That's how you know you need it.

• 11:18Speaker 08

  Well, maybe cocaine is a great drug for me. Um, but, uh, yeah, there was this manager there.

• 11:23Laci Mosley?

  That was just street Adderall. Okay. The street pharmacist.

• 11:25Speaker 08

  Exactly. Yeah.

• 11:26Laci Mosley?

  But there was a man there.

• 11:27Speaker 08

  There was a man there, the manager, and he was incredible. Like he had to know about it. Like it was crazy how much we were doing it. He had to know about it. And he liked me and was just like, hey, man, like, you know, didn't ever say anything. And it was like, God, this is really going smoothly. It's almost like, is he, is he knowing this is happening? And then that guy got caught for embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from this restaurant.

• 11:54Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 11:55Speaker 08

  And thrown in jail. So that's why he was cool with it. And then there was another manager who was a hard ass. Who, um, was really nice and, you know, nice guy, but like way more hardcore. And he totally knew about this scam. I was getting really done with it at this point. And he took me, I remember he, he made me feel like I was going to get fired. He goes, Hey, uh, can you come down to the basement? I just want to talk to you about, about, uh, yeah, to the office in the basement. I just need to talk to you about work. And I was like, okay, well, this is when I get fired. And he goes, he tried to reverse psychology me. He goes, you know, John, a lot of people have been stealing a lot of money from this restaurant.

• 12:35Laci Mosley?

  Really? That's crazy.

• 12:37Speaker 08

  He goes, you haven't, I looked at your records and you haven't stolen anything, John. And I just want to thank you. I just want to thank you for not stealing. And I was like, oh, okay, man. Like, I think I'm the, like, you have to be really organized to be a good scammer. That's the thing. You have to be like. The kind of person who can like do math or something like I have never been I've never been that so.

• 12:59Laci Mosley?

  Otherwise you get caught much more easily.

• 13:01Speaker 08

  Exactly.

• 13:02Laci Mosley?

  You you have to be able to do math. You also need to be able to not run your mouth, which clearly you weren't running your mouth.

• 13:06Speaker 08

  I wasn't running my mouth.

• 13:07Laci Mosley?

  The bubble real tight.

• 13:08Speaker 08

  I'm not a rat.

• 13:09Laci Mosley?

  I love that there was a manager, but it's not even about being a rat. Sometimes people brag about some shit and then all of a sudden you blew the spot up for everybody.

• 13:16Speaker 08

  Right, no, no.

• 13:17Laci Mosley?

  So you were being a good little accomplice.

• 13:19Speaker 08

  Right, and that's why they wait. That's why they wait. Like it was like four or six months before they were like, okay, come here, we'll teach you the scam. Like they have to know that you're gonna stick around.

• 13:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 13:27Speaker 08

  And you have to go out and like I loved everyone that worked there. So we were partying and stuff and so it was like a trust. Okay, well, this guy's cool. You know, we can like, we can give him the scam and it was pretty good. And then, uh, yeah.

• 13:41Laci Mosley?

  But then the nice manager gets jailed. So funny that he was like, hey, man, like looking the other way because he knows he's stealing way more than you.

• 13:50Speaker 08

  Yeah, he was like all sunshine, a lovely guy. He was like, what's up, man? He was just pocketing cash.

• 13:56Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 08

  Like from the safe, doing it very, very apparently sloppily.

• 14:00Laci Mosley?

  From the safe is crazy. It's the end of the night. He's like, do do do, some for y'all, some for me.

• 14:05Speaker 08

  Seriously, seriously that bad. Like, what are you doing?

• 14:09Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 14:10Speaker 08

  But I love it. I love it. Um.

• 14:12Laci Mosley?

  I mean, that's kind of the restaurant industry. Like if you get in with some cool people, like when I worked in the Hamptons, we were making money hand over fist.

• 14:19Speaker 08

  In the Hamptons? That's that's real. What what Hampton?

• 14:22Laci Mosley?

  Um.

• 14:22Speaker 08

  Bridge?

• 14:23Laci Mosley?

  East.

• 14:23Speaker 08

  East, nice, okay.

• 14:24Laci Mosley?

  This place called Moby's. Um, it's a pop up. So you already know that's kind of scammy. We're only out there for the summer. Uh, Moby does not own it. It's two Australians.

• 14:32Speaker 08

  Yeah, he would never call his restaurant Moby's. He's too cool.

• 14:35Laci Mosley?

  But like it was, everybody was out there. Glenn Paltrow, Robert Downey Jr., you name it. Like everybody was always out there. Not at this time, I'm like, like a baby actor. I think I'm like 21. So I'm like, you know, I'm just trying to get some money. Like so I can get to LA and like start working professionally.

• 14:48Speaker 08

  Right.

• 14:49Laci Mosley?

  Making money hand over fist. And there were definitely some cocaine salesmen's out there. I was like, yeah, we making like eight hundred, nine hundred, sometimes two thousand a night. And y'all also selling cocaine on the side. They're like, yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 08

  Oh, my God.

• 15:02Laci Mosley?

  We are. I was like, you know what? Go off, queens and kings.

• 15:05Speaker 08

  Yeah. There was a guy I waited tables with. His name was Ocean and he dealt cocaine. Yeah, he dealt cocaine and like in a really sloppy way, too.

• 15:14Laci Mosley?

  I just felt like being like a side of like, yeah, so, OK, so you're gonna get the steak free. Yes. And would you like a side of cocaine with that? Would you like, how do you, how do you tell people that you, that you a cocaine salesman?

• 15:25Speaker 08

  Like, I'll take that to go. That's how you do it. You, yeah, with a wink.

• 15:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, like, anything else you can get you?

• 15:30Speaker 08

  How did, how did Gwyneth tip? You have to tell, how did Gwyneth tip?

• 15:33Laci Mosley?

  Oh, gosh. Uh, if I remember, like, the only people that you wouldn't remember is if they tipped poorly. So she definitely didn't tip poorly.

• 15:41Speaker 08

  Right, yeah.

• 15:42Laci Mosley?

  So, you know what I mean?

• 15:43Speaker 08

  Who tipped poorly? Anyone? Anyone stand out?

• 15:45Laci Mosley?

  I already had my issues with that lady, so y'all already know. If you listen to this podcast, you already know.

• 15:51Speaker 08

  Really? Oh, man.

• 15:52Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you got some tip lows out there, but, um.

• 15:54Speaker 08

  OK, all right. Wow. Oh, yeah, OK, don't.

• 15:59Laci Mosley?

  No, no, no, everybody already knows. Everybody who listens to this podcast will already know exactly who I'm talking about. No, but I love this.

• 16:04Speaker 08

  Write it on a piece of paper and give it to me.

• 16:05Laci Mosley?

  So did you, like, did you ever get caught there? Or did you end up just leaving there and just like, you know, getting into your professional pursuits? Or what? How did it?

• 16:12Speaker 08

  I, I.

• 16:13Laci Mosley?

  Should I put it up on the screen for you?

• 16:14Speaker 08

  I did a thing where, oh.

• 16:17Speaker 08

  Really?

• 16:17Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 08

  Probably one of the, one of the richest people in America. Just insane.

• 16:21Laci Mosley?

  We'll take money back if somebody gave too much.

• 16:23Speaker 08

  Yeah, oh, wow.

• 16:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 08

  Oh, bad, bad person, bad person. OK.

• 16:27Laci Mosley?

  Well, yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 08

  Fuck you, uh, person. Yeah. Very attractive, but fuck you. Anyway.

• 16:34Laci Mosley?

  But so how did you end up getting out of this restaurant game? Was it like head above water or like?

• 16:39Speaker 08

  I got, um, like, there was just a restructuring or something like that. I knew I was gonna, like, I was at the bottom of the, of the, like, they liked me and I was fun and everything. But I was definitely like a personality hire, like you said. And so I was kind of like, I'm out of here. Like, when am I gonna get fired? And like, the biz, the business would go. Go up and down and it was just like a bad place. And so it really, it really slowed down. We got a new manager in and he stopped giving me shifts. And I was like, I didn't realize like that was like an aggro move. I was like, hey, man, can I just get some more shifts? And he was like, oh yeah, of course. And he never would. I was like, oh, you're just passive aggressively firing me. So then I, I got another job where I could not scam.

• 17:24Speaker 08

  That was way harder and way more like solo where I, but it was the only thing I could get where I, I had to like show up at three thirty AM and bake muffins. It was horrible. They were known for their muffins. And so they taught me how to like mix the muffins, put the blueberries in their blueberry muffins, bake the muffins. And then

• 17:43Laci Mosley?

  You were literally the muffin man?

• 17:44Speaker 08

  I was the muffin man. Thank you. Yeah. Do you know the muffin man?

• 17:47Laci Mosley?

  His name is John Daly. His name is John Daly. I know him.

• 17:50Speaker 08

  Yes, I was the freaking muffin man. Damn. Good, good, good point. I was the muffin man.

• 17:55Laci Mosley?

  And you give me more respect for the muffin man because I thought he was just popular and chilling. No, he up at three AM making muffins.

• 18:01Speaker 08

  Yeah, no, no, it's horrible. And then I remember trying to get a, remember cafeteria in Manhattan?

• 18:07Laci Mosley?

  Cafeteria.

• 18:07Speaker 08

  I like tried to get a job there and I look, looking at all these guys they hired, it was like they were models. They were so tall and hot and I was like, I'm pretty handsome, right? Nope. You know, I'm not bad, but it was like

• 18:21Laci Mosley?

  You're on the televisions.

• 18:22Speaker 08

  Yeah, right.

• 18:23Laci Mosley?

  You're in the thing.

• 18:24Speaker 08

  Yeah, I'm a famous character actor. Come on. I'm a, you know, I'm, I'm hot. I'm hot as hell.

• 18:29Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Yes, John.

• 18:30Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah. Number one.

• 18:31Laci Mosley?

  Go off.

• 18:32Speaker 08

  But I, I didn't have that, you know, aqua line features or whatever. I wasn't like an alien. So I didn't get that job. But that was the job that like the, the hot people from my waiting tables job, they all got fired too. And they all went to cafeteria and they were like, oh, we'll get you a job here. And the manager was like, um, yeah, you're just, we don't hire on personality. It's all looks. And I was like, okay, that's cool.

• 18:55Laci Mosley?

  That's so fucked up, but there are so many places, there's certain places I've gone to where I wanted to be a bottle girl. And it was like, oh, my skin isn't light enough and my booty isn't big enough. Like I'm not getting this job. Or I'm not rail thin. Like they have aesthetics at certain places. Where it's just like, okay, I don't fit into this.

• 19:10Speaker 08

  That was it. Yeah. I was like, looking at the people like, why do I even, why am I even trying? I should work at a Greek diner or something like that, if I even can. And, and then I did the thing where I got a commercial and I made, I think it was like 80 grand. I like, I like, I was like, damn, I got 80 grand? Hell, yeah. And I was like, let's go. Clock the tea. Clocking tea all day long, sweetheart. And I am eating.

• 19:43Speaker 08

  You know what I'm, you know it. I'm clocking, I'm eating and I'm, I'm working and I'm living. And we are, and god damn it. And you know, I got a Wendy's commercial. It was like, wonderful. I got all this money, all these residuals. And then I realized, oh no, it's gone. And like, so I was like, okay, I have to, and I was teaching improv. And I was like, I gotta like double my improv stuff. And I really gotta, you know, like, there was a, there was like two years where I was just like, I could die. Like I, I can't like, I can either pay my rent. And I was like, should I just pay all my rent in the year and, or whatever? And then things like picked up. I moved to LA. I started to get like more writing jobs and stuff.

• 20:27Speaker 08

  Moved to LA and started doing comedy stuff. But man, there was that just like edgy year where I was like, technically I should be waiting tables, but I so badly do not want to do that anymore.

• 20:37Laci Mosley?

  I'm glad that you got out, but you also hustled and you hustled up and you made money. And I'm glad you asked questions because you got friends who were making, you know, X, Y and Z on the weekends. And, and then you were like, wait a minute, I'm not making that much. And I know how many covers we, people we got coming in.

• 20:49Speaker 08

  Right, right.

• 20:50Laci Mosley?

  Honestly, I think that restaurant was scamming you. You got your get back and we'll never know.

• 20:53Speaker 08

  I think, I think life is a scam and scamming in general is just kind of cutting it even with life.

• 21:00Laci Mosley?

  The paying to be born and dying thing will never not bother me because it's like neither of those I had a choice in.

• 21:07Speaker 09

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• 21:36Speaker 03

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• 22:20Speaker 03

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• 22:28Speaker 10

  Hi, I'm Jenna Oshkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast, a show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.

• 22:42Speaker 11

  People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.

• 22:53Speaker 10

  And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone.

• 22:59Speaker 06

  One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies.

• 23:04Speaker 10

  So join us and hear their stories and more, because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat, it's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast, on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today.

• 23:28Speaker 08

  Another scam. I've never done this one, but don't.

• 23:31Laci Mosley?

  He's never done this one, y'all.

• 23:32Speaker 08

  I haven't, but I have one friend that is a pure, he's like an anarchist. He's the only person I know that I'm like, oh, wow, you're like a real deal anarchist. Okay, you know, and he's a, he's an artist and a painter and a musician and stuff. And he, he does this thing where he's like, oh, I, I shop at Whole, cause he's, he's, you know, broke. But he's like, I only shop at Whole Foods. And I was like, really? So why? And he goes, oh, here's what I do. I go in, I wear a hat, I pull it down, I put on a podcast and I really listen to the podcast. And, you know, I get into it. So I'm in the zone of kind of listening and I get my groceries.

• 24:13Speaker 08

  You know, he'll get like normal groceries and then he'll get like, oh, the $48 balsamic or something like that. And then like, you know, some really nice this and some really nice that. He'll go to the self-checkout aisle in Whole Foods. And Whole Foods, the store philosophy is basically, we would rather, like, if you're in Vons or Ralph's or something like that, they'll, and you're, and you're stealing, they will.

• 24:37Laci Mosley?

  They're gonna tackle you.

• 24:38Speaker 08

  They're gonna tackle it. But in, in, in Whole Foods, they don't want to bother the rich people that are fricking, their, their philosophy is more like, yeah, we kind of dial it into everything, you know?

• 24:48Laci Mosley?

  Right. Cause how would it look if we were tackling a shopper at Whole Foods?

• 24:52Speaker 08

  Thank you.

• 24:52Laci Mosley?

  That would be, I would be scandalized.

• 24:54Speaker 08

  Yeah, thank you. Yeah, exactly.

• 24:56Laci Mosley?

  I was like, oh my gosh.

• 24:56Speaker 08

  Be like, oh, there was.

• 24:57Laci Mosley?

  They're letting the pores in here now and they're stealing.

• 25:00Speaker 08

  Yes. Oh, man. Oh, good, good lord. Yeah. And so he, he does this thing where he like, you know, legitimately buys stuff and then like, doesn't scan stuff or whatever, like boop, boop. And then he kind of skips one and like, who's gonna notice? And he's like, I basically like, I'll buy like $200 worth of groceries for like, you know, $75 and stuff like that. So I don't know, maybe don't put that. That might be too specific.

• 25:26Laci Mosley?

  People have been talking about the robbing of the stores.

• 25:30Speaker 08

  Right, right. Oh, really? Okay, yeah.

• 25:32Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 25:32Speaker 08

  I'm sure.

• 25:32Laci Mosley?

  But no, you're in safe territory. But it is fascinating to me because like, instead of like going after them with nightsticks or having the surveillance state that other stores have, they're like, oh, it would be so embarrassing if we, if we, if we accosted this man for taking stuff.

• 25:47Speaker 08

  Oh, my god.

• 25:48Laci Mosley?

  What would our customers, what would our other customers think?

• 25:50Speaker 08

  Little Johnny Junior started crying.

• 25:52Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 08

  When they tackled this awful man.

• 25:56Laci Mosley?

  That's their version of like protest. They're like, oh, no, it's made it to the Whole Foods. No one is safe.

• 26:01Speaker 08

  Yeah, seriously.

• 26:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 26:02Speaker 08

  It's your duty to steal from Whole Foods, ladies and gentlemen. It is your, at this point, civic duty, I believe. Yeah.

• 26:08Laci Mosley?

  I mean, like, people are out here, but I think like if you're taking groceries and things that you need to eat to survive, like, I have like way more empathy for that because it's like those things should be affordable.

• 26:17Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 26:17Laci Mosley?

  Point blank period. No one should have to think about that. Like, I miss when people used to steal TVs, you know, car radios, like, things that were like luxury items.

• 26:26Speaker 08

  Right.

• 26:27Laci Mosley?

  Versus like now people are like, oh, I gotta steal these eggs.

• 26:30Speaker 08

  Right. I think even steal luxury items, steal everything because, um, because like Sony's not gonna get hurt, Best Buy's not gonna get hurt. If you're, unless you are, and that was the thing about working for the muffin man thing, is.

• 26:43Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you were on the muffin man. The muffin man is telling y'all to get on jury lane and get, get your shisty out and run it up.

• 26:51Speaker 08

  Like, the owner of the muffin shop, like, I loved, I was like, it was a couple, you know, this like, super nice lady, and she'd come to work with me and she'd be like, hello, John. You know, like, really, I'm not gonna steal from this woman.

• 27:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 08

  But a big corporation, they're not gonna feel it. In fact, they dial it into all their stuff. So.

• 27:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 08

  Steal as much as you can. I don't recommend going to Best Buy and like, I don't know how you would do that.

• 27:12Laci Mosley?

  No. I mean, I feel like Best Buy employees might get active. They might be like the secret Waffle House employees of the tech, uh, stores.

• 27:19Speaker 08

  Right.

• 27:20Laci Mosley?

  Like, if you put somebody in a blue polo, I just feel like, they just wanna fight.

• 27:23Speaker 08

  They're looking to haunt.

• 27:24Laci Mosley?

  They're fluorescent lighting all day.

• 27:26Speaker 08

  Yeah, they're gonna haunt your life. They're gonna show up at your house.

• 27:28Laci Mosley?

  They may not wanna point you towards electronics, but they are so pissed about being in that blue polo and them fluorescent lights all day. They will beat your ass.

• 27:35Speaker 08

  Nobody's happy. Nobody, nobody in a fucking uniform is ever, no, no, like, yeah.

• 27:39Laci Mosley?

  It depends on the uniform, but I just feel like that one in particular, like that blue polo and that lighting, they're just, they're active. They're ready to get active.

• 27:46Speaker 08

  I'm only happy in a Hooters uniform.

• 27:49Speaker 08

  Just because I love nude stockings, right?

• 27:51Laci Mosley?

  Oh my goodness. Yeah, I know. I could never work at a restaurant where I had to be hot every day. And shout out to y'all who do that because like it's extra work.

• 27:58Speaker 08

  On point. It would be rough.

• 28:00Laci Mosley?

  Like I can't put my hair in a bun. I gotta put on a lash every day before I go work for the man.

• 28:06Speaker 08

  Oh, that'd be rough. Yeah.

• 28:07Laci Mosley?

  So shout out to y'all beautifuls who get beautiful for work every day.

• 28:10Speaker 08

  Yeah, good for you. Go for it. Or wear the uniform and look like shit. Thank you for working at Hooters.

• 28:16Laci Mosley?

  John, that's why he was getting less shit.

• 28:18Speaker 08

  Thank you. That was me. Yeah. I was like, my jaw was falling off. I was so high. Jesus Christ.

• 28:25Laci Mosley?

  Oh my God, I love this. So we're gonna get into my favorite segment here, historic hoodwings. This is where I will regale John with a famous con caper group of criminals. We'll see if they're worthy of our praise. Maybe they are. We'll see along the way. So today we're gonna be talking about key members of Norway's ski jumping team that were disqualified from the Winter Olympics because they were caught on camera illegally inflating the crotches on their uniforms.

• 28:52Speaker 08

  What?

• 28:53Laci Mosley?

  So this is the crotch inflation gate.

• 28:57Speaker 08

  Okay, what?

• 28:58Laci Mosley?

  Now.

• 28:59Speaker 08

  Ski jumpers?

• 28:59Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 29:00Speaker 08

  Oh, so it must have some aerodynamic thing.

• 29:03Laci Mosley?

  It has to because I don't think they were trying to be like, I'm starting my OnlyFans after the Olympics or something.

• 29:10Speaker 08

  I want everyone to know that I'm hard when I do this because it's so exciting. This is.

• 29:15Laci Mosley?

  Y'all follow me on Instagram.

• 29:17Speaker 08

  Yeah, follow me on Instagram.

• 29:19Laci Mosley?

  I'm Olympic bulge.

• 29:20Speaker 08

  Yeah, it's, um, it's pretty evident. Yeah. Wow. They are, yeah, they're bulgy. They're bulging.

• 29:27Laci Mosley?

  So at the Nordic World Ski Championships in Norway last March, a hidden camera caught head coach Magnus Breivik and suit technician Adrian Litvin inserting illegal stitching into the crotches of the suits of two star jumpers after the suits had already passed inspection. So right before they competed in the men's large hill event, they were sewing extra material into the crotch to stiffen and add surface area that would help during takeoff.

• 29:56Speaker 08

  Oh boy. Inflate gate.

• 29:58Laci Mosley?

  Inflate part two, but I have questions. The first question I have is, how do you figure this out? Like, how are you like, you know they get more air if we crotch them?

• 30:08Speaker 08

  Right, right.

• 30:09Laci Mosley?

  If we crotch them up.

• 30:09Speaker 08

  Yeah, if it sticks out, if it sticks out. It must just be some, yeah, how, who knows? Who knows? They have to go, it's such a game of inches, that sport. So, literally, they're looking like they have some more inches. Uh, they're packing some more inches up in there. Is that a joke?

• 30:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 30:24Speaker 08

  Is that funny?

• 30:25Laci Mosley?

  I mean, it is.

• 30:26Speaker 08

  Okay, good.

• 30:26Laci Mosley?

  And I think I guess surface area, so if they're catching wind, there's more wind to catch because they're wider.

• 30:31Speaker 08

  Right, right.

• 30:32Laci Mosley?

  I'm almost thinking of like those people who jump out of the trees and like those like, uh, wind suits.

• 30:36Speaker 08

  Squirrel suits, yeah, yeah.

• 30:37Laci Mosley?

  Squirrel suits. Maybe they're trying to squirrel them up a little bit.

• 30:40Speaker 08

  Yeah, they might be trying to squirrel it up. It might just be like, uh, they, they stick these guys in a wind tunnel with a bunch of confetti in it and they see it go and it's like, you know, it kind of like curves around their body in the right way.

• 30:50Laci Mosley?

  Oh, that's smart.

• 30:51Speaker 08

  And they're, they're doing that.

• 30:52Laci Mosley?

  There's gotta be some science to it.

• 30:53Speaker 08

  But I hope there was like a bike pump involved, like, okay, let us go. We see bike pump.

• 30:58Laci Mosley?

  We keep a lookout.

• 31:00Speaker 08

  We have discovered the crotch is the area we need to expand.

• 31:05Laci Mosley?

  I'm like, who's watching this on video, watching them, these men get their crotches sewn like, what do we have here?

• 31:13Speaker 08

  You know, watches ski jumping on the Olympics? Nobody, nobody, nobody cares about ski jump.

• 31:18Laci Mosley?

  No, I mean, the people who care about skiing do, and I did run into some of them because I was gonna, um, I'm gonna go skiing eventually and I was thinking about going to operate ski, uh, because my friends are going in France after this wedding I'm going to, but honestly, it just feels like too many activities.

• 31:32Speaker 08

  Are you a skier or are you just gonna?

• 31:33Laci Mosley?

  Hell, no, I was just gonna be out there in my Montclair taking photos.

• 31:37Speaker 08

  Hell, yeah, yeah.

• 31:38Laci Mosley?

  Having a hot, hot little toddy.

• 31:40Speaker 08

  Get some mulled wine, yeah.

• 31:41Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, literally, that's it. And take some pictures, looking like I was gonna ski, maybe even next to some skis.

• 31:46Speaker 08

  Yeah, get some skis, just get, borrow some skis, get out there and be like, I did it.

• 31:50Laci Mosley?

  I did, oh, yeah, throw a little snow on me, throw a little snow on my face.

• 31:54Speaker 08

  Yeah, it's all for, it's all for the gram.

• 31:55Laci Mosley?

  Yes, that's, that's it. But, um, I was talking to some skiers in the airport and I made the mistake of, they were like, well, you know, the Olympics, like, they're gonna be out there at the time that you're gonna be out there. And I was like, oh, that's cute, maybe I'll grab some little tickets or whatever and we could go get some photos and flicks off. I was like, I'm sure those tickets are cheap, nobody cares about the Winter Olympics. Woo, when I tell you these ladies were like, oh. Why would you say that? I was like, oh wow. So they have some very niche, huge fans who are definitely watching these men jump with their air crotches.

• 32:22Speaker 08

  Right.

• 32:22Laci Mosley?

  And they care.

• 32:23Speaker 08

  I get, uh, yeah, I don't care about the Winter Olympics. Uh, what's good about, oh yeah, curling, that was big. That's like a sport that somebody invented in their backyard and it's like, they're trying to pull it off.

• 32:33Laci Mosley?

  It feels like somebody who couldn't afford a Zamboni and they were like, what if we all just get out here with scoops?

• 32:37Speaker 08

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And then there's a broom as, uh, element to it.

• 32:41Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, the broom one is what I'm thinking of. They were like, we'll just do it ourselves and now let's make it a sport.

• 32:45Speaker 08

  Yeah, get out of my face with that rock shit. Give me a break. Play bocce, you dummies.

• 32:52Laci Mosley?

  I mean, nothing-

• 32:52Speaker 08

  Snow bocce, right?

• 32:53Laci Mosley?

  Nothing's ever gonna be dumber than Raygun with the break dancing.

• 32:57Speaker 08

  Raygun is an icon. The kangaroo move where she kangaroos around, I'll never forget it.

• 33:03Laci Mosley?

  I couldn't believe that lady did that.

• 33:04Speaker 08

  Turns out it's a much different place.

• 33:06Laci Mosley?

  Than we thought. Than we thought.

• 33:08Speaker 08

  Where that's acceptable.

• 33:09Laci Mosley?

  We have a video that was anonymously posted to YouTube. Not that trying to let the world know. How many views does this pumping have? It has a hundred and fourteen. Oh, oh, oh, wow.

• 33:22Speaker 08

  Hundred and four K.

• 33:22Laci Mosley?

  It has a hundred and four K views? I was about to say a hundred and fourteen, just because that's all I thought that would be there. Okay, let's see the pumping. Okay, so whoever's taking this video is shooting like through a chair or like-

• 33:34Speaker 08

  Oh wow, oh, you can see the pump. Okay, so there's a sewing machine. This is a real, they got a lot of footage of this.

• 33:41Laci Mosley?

  Also like, bruh, y'all just got this suit checked for its integrity. And then you want to sew, but you're not even gonna do a handheld stitch. You're not gonna give me like, you got a whole sewing machine out here? Like you turned yourself into like a little sweatshop in the back?

• 33:56Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 33:58Laci Mosley?

  How did y'all think y'all weren't gonna get caught doing this? The door is cracked open a little bit and we can literally see this sewing machine.

• 34:05Speaker 08

  I think if you can, if you can just expand your crotch and get that money, many more points, it's not a real sport.

• 34:10Laci Mosley?

  Look at this guy in the green. He looks stressed out like, alright, can y'all sew faster?

• 34:14Speaker 08

  Yeah, he's kinda like, we're doing something bad, let's go.

• 34:16Laci Mosley?

  Let's go, let's go. But I'm sorry, you, the, the, I feel like you need more Ocean's Eleven type sewing stuff. Like how y'all coming in here with these big ass sewing machines?

• 34:24Speaker 08

  Yeah, why isn't it in the bright light? Like, why are they doing this?

• 34:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, this needs to be under candlelight. I don't know, somebody should have been guarding all the doors.

• 34:32Speaker 08

  I'm not seeing pumping too. I'm pissed.

• 34:35Laci Mosley?

  I think they're expanding the suit right now.

• 34:38Speaker 08

  They're expanding it so they can.

• 34:39Laci Mosley?

  I wanna see a pump, though. I wanna see somebody with an air tire pump. Or if we're really moving quick, I wanna see an electric mattress inflator pump.

• 34:48Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 34:49Laci Mosley?

  Where they're just putting that little tube and like, we ain't got much time, y'all.

• 34:52Speaker 08

  I love that.

• 34:52Laci Mosley?

  Crack the music.

• 34:53Speaker 08

  Yeah, let's go.

• 34:55Laci Mosley?

  Seems they got caught.

• 34:58Speaker 08

  Ugh, seems they got caught.

• 35:00Laci Mosley?

  It does seem that way.

• 35:02Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 35:02Laci Mosley?

  They were very bold, though. It's, they must, this was not their first time. Because if you're bringing home multiple sewing machines and you got like an area for it, like, you've been doing this for a while.

• 35:11Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah. And I, I feel like that's just so innocent. Like, it's like, these people are jacking steroids. They're cycling all, you know, they're, these, they're...

• 35:20Laci Mosley?

  Like, how many Tour de France has Lance Armstrong steal from other people?

• 35:23Speaker 08

  Uh, yeah, yeah. I like how he's kinda making his rounds, trying to come back now and be an influencer. It's like, you're known for, uh, lying to everyone in the world.

• 35:32Laci Mosley?

  He's also known for Lip Strong bracelets.

• 35:34Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:35Laci Mosley?

  And for the balls.

• 35:36Speaker 08

  He's got one ball.

• 35:37Laci Mosley?

  And he's got one ball. Like, that's three things.

• 35:39Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 35:39Laci Mosley?

  You know, and also, I mean, he did kinda give us an iconic moment, cuz obviously he would not have won all of those Tour de France's back to back to back. And everybody loves somebody who's just like the Michael Jordan of their sport. And so, we all loved it.

• 35:52Speaker 08

  Yeah, and who's complaining about it? These French people, like, he is a cheating. It's like, you are too, man.

• 35:58Laci Mosley?

  And now, and now I get the, the, the message, like, it is later, no one cares that I'm third. Yeah, no, we don't care that you're third. We don't care that you first now, cuz you moved up. We don't care.

• 36:08Speaker 08

  Nobody cares about the Tour de France, man. It sucks.

• 36:10Laci Mosley?

  We already bought the bracelets, bro.

• 36:12Speaker 08

  Yeah, we only care if someone's winning it. By the way, this guy Alex Honnold needs to stop the fucking madness. He climbed a skyscraper the other day. I don't think he cheated. I'm not saying he's scamming. I'm just saying, dude, David Blaine does it, but he's not putting his life in danger and potentially like, uh, making their, you know, orphaning his kids or whatever.

• 36:33Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 08

  This guy is psycho.

• 36:35Laci Mosley?

  But doesn't he have the, like, little amygdala where he doesn't feel like fear? They did a brain scan on him.

• 36:41Speaker 08

  You're talking about that like it's good. It's not good to have the little amygdala.

• 36:45Laci Mosley?

  It's just a natural, like, side effect of his brain is that he getting on the skyscraper like, doot doo doo.

• 36:50Speaker 08

  Yeah, he has no fear. He has no fear, uh, thing. He has no, uh, fear lobe. His fear lobe is tiny.

• 36:56Laci Mosley?

  I think he's like trying to juice it up because he wants some. He's a junkie now. He's just trying to, he's trying to get that high. We need to put him in a facility.

• 37:04Speaker 08

  You can't, he needs to be, you know, put down.

• 37:06Laci Mosley?

  We like, we started, kill him, damn, John.

• 37:09Speaker 08

  Yeah, no, before he kills again. He seems like a killer. Like if there was somebody that is, he has shark eyes.

• 37:14Laci Mosley?

  That's a side, that's a side hustle murder.

• 37:16Speaker 08

  Yeah. His side hustle is just so he can kill somebody and just like really scientifically watch them bleed out.

• 37:22Laci Mosley?

  And just la la la, mop it up. Got to get this over with because I gotta climb the empire tomorrow.

• 37:28Speaker 08

  Fascinating, the behavior of a dying man. Okay, now let me go climb, I'm gonna climb El Capitan, yeah.

• 37:34Laci Mosley?

  Literally. I, yeah, the whole girlfriend of it all. I was like, baby, if you don't leave this, this is too stressful, okay?

• 37:39Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, my sport's something where, uh, it's kind of like Russian roulette.

• 37:43Laci Mosley?

  Right. It's a sport nobody asks for.

• 37:45Speaker 08

  Yeah, nobody asks for, nobody wants, and winning it is lame and like-

• 37:50Laci Mosley?

  Inconsequential.

• 37:51Speaker 08

  Yeah, exactly.

• 37:52Laci Mosley?

  It's just like you climb the thing. I went on a rabbit hole on TikTok the other day. They had, um, a man who was actually interned in a cave. Unfortunately, he passed away because he went cave diving. He was like a hundred feet in. And, um, slipped into a crevice that he couldn't be lifted out of. And then they tried to take him out, but then he went further into it, so he was just gone. And it was so sad, but it was also like, sir, you had a wife who's pregnant and a child, and you decided to go climbing them people's dirt.

• 38:20Speaker 08

  Yeah. That's like, that's like the Everest people. You're climbing Everest. This thing's littered with dead bodies.

• 38:26Laci Mosley?

  Like, Green Boots is a mile marker.

• 38:28Speaker 08

  Green Boots is a mile marker.

• 38:29Laci Mosley?

  And they have other ones, just like the Sleeping Beauty, like that's a woman. Like, they have other ones and I'm like, I'm not, I'm sorry, I'm not doing nothing that wear the mile markers of people just like, who are no he, no longer here.

• 38:39Speaker 08

  You deserve to die. Sorry, pal. Same with the, it's like the subway, submarine idiots.

• 38:45Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah, we did a whole episode on Ocean Gate and go back to Ocean Gate, y'all, if you haven't heard it, because it's wild.

• 38:52Speaker 08

  They died. I, I did a breakdancing routine. I was so happy.

• 38:56Laci Mosley?

  My God, John, why you want everybody to die?

• 38:58Speaker 08

  It was, no, no, no. I don't want them to die.

• 39:01Laci Mosley?

  I know, I know. You're just wanting to stop scaring everybody.

• 39:04Speaker 08

  Let's keep it safe, okay?

• 39:05Laci Mosley?

  With their antics.

• 39:06Speaker 08

  I'm like, is this a sport? Or like a perversion?

• 39:08Laci Mosley?

  No, it's something they're just doing. Nobody asked for that.

• 39:11Speaker 08

  Yeah, nobody asked.

• 39:12Laci Mosley?

  We're not watching it live. We hear about it after.

• 39:14Speaker 08

  It's a fetish, you're weird. Uh, and hopefully you don't die.

• 39:18Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, because we want you to be alive for your family.

• 39:19Speaker 08

  Yeah.

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• 40:38Speaker 03

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• 40:41Speaker 10

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• 40:56Speaker 11

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• 41:07Speaker 10

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• 41:12Speaker 06

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• 41:18Speaker 10

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• 41:41Laci Mosley?

  So the coach and wardrobe specialist were boosting the bulges of the Olympic champion jumpers. Marius Lindavik and his teammate Joanne André Forfong, Johann, excuse me, because right, Nordic, Johann André Forfong. So Marius won gold in ski jumping at the 2022 Beijing Olympics and we have a video of his ski jump right here.

• 42:05Speaker 08

  Oh damn, he's got a boner. Yep, he's pumping. He's pumping. He's, he's, he's, he's.

• 42:11Laci Mosley?

  Did they only notice because of the video or was somebody looking directly at their crotches like, hey, it's a little too much crotch there?

• 42:20Speaker 12

  Wow. He's absolutely nailed it, isn't he? He's absolutely nailed it.

• 42:29Laci Mosley?

  This is also one of the most dangerous sports.

• 42:32Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 42:33Laci Mosley?

  Because look at that.

• 42:34Speaker 08

  Wow. I mean, it's pretty.

• 42:36Laci Mosley?

  It's beautiful to watch.

• 42:37Speaker 08

  Feel good.

• 42:39Laci Mosley?

  I can't stand on skis, let alone launch my full inflated crotch body into the air.

• 42:44Speaker 08

  That's a sport that just takes more than it gives. Like, I'm watching and I'm going, that's cool, but everyone looks the same. It must feel so cool to be there. But as a spectator sport, I'm like, you know.

• 42:54Laci Mosley?

  He jumped off the thing.

• 42:55Speaker 08

  Let me watch the Dodgers or something. Yeah.

• 42:57Laci Mosley?

  So the team's assistant head coach also confessed to participating in the plot even though he wasn't in the video. Marius and Johann claimed they were unaware of the pubic plus up to alter their suits. They got three months' suspensions in August of 2025. So they said they didn't know that they were putting more, more crotch in the crotch. Do I believe this? No.

• 43:20Speaker 12

  I swear my dick was hard. It was just my dick being hard. I swear we didn't pump it.

• 43:27Speaker 08

  Come on.

• 43:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, no, y'all pumped it louder. Y'all knew, y'all knew what was going on. Because like, I'm sorry, you're gonna notice if you're putting on a suit and you just got one inspected and now you got a freshly sewn one.

• 43:39Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:40Laci Mosley?

  Like freshly sewn?

• 43:41Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:41Laci Mosley?

  Something's gonna give it away. There's gonna be some hangstrings or something.

• 43:44Speaker 08

  Yeah, and they're like, this sport is so unpopular.

• 43:47Laci Mosley?

  No one will ever know or care.

• 43:48Speaker 08

  No one's going to care.

• 43:50Laci Mosley?

  So the officials were inserting illegal nonelastic stitching into the suits, making them larger, smoother, and more aerodynamic. It seems like we all just need to make better suits. Because why can't everybody just have this better suit? Uh, I don't know, Nike? So investigators could only confirm the tampering by tearing apart the suits. Many teams tried to slightly stretch or pad suits in order to give them a little bit more surface area. This kind of cheating is more or less universally acknowledged as an unsavory but ever-present aspect of the competition, and it does result in some disqualifications. What set this scandal apart is that it was caught on camera and it was the head coach doing it. So they said, everybody been goose in the suit, but they got caught in 4K, so now we have to act like it's a big deal.

• 44:32Speaker 08

  Yeah. By the way, Johnny Weir was seen at the ski jump area. Boy, okay. Is that funny or bad?

• 44:39Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 44:40Speaker 08

  Okay.

• 44:40Laci Mosley?

  Why are you auditing your jokes with me, John?

• 44:43Speaker 08

  That was not good. Um, listen, listen.

• 44:46Laci Mosley?

  They're laughing.

• 44:47Speaker 08

  I'm trying my best at the Winter Olympics information, what I know about the winter. Oh, by the way, this is not a sport that takes, it doesn't take talent to stiffen your body and fly. Give me a triple axel, baby.

• 44:59Laci Mosley?

  I know, there used to be a black girl who'd do like triple duxels and backflips on the, and then they made the move illegal because they were like, it's too dangerous to do.

• 45:07Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 45:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 45:07Speaker 08

  No, you're too good at this.

• 45:09Laci Mosley?

  Right, they were like, it's illegal now, because everybody else is gonna die trying.

• 45:12Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 45:12Laci Mosley?

  And I'm like, no, well, then I keep doing it and it shouldn't know, y'all. So I get what they're saying. They're like, look, everybody does this, but you got caught, so now we have to pretend it's a big deal. And you're right, John, nobody gives a fuck about the sport enough to be like, they're goose in the suits. They goose in them.

• 45:27Speaker 08

  I also think, by the way, nobody gives a fucking yes about the sport, but it's too iconic of a scam. It's crotch bigginging. So if it was different, if it was like, the shoulders need to be smoother, nobody would care about that. But it's the fact that it's like, men with the crotch area getting bigger, that was their mistake.

• 45:45Laci Mosley?

  The men are like, no, I have so much crotch. Don't say I have little crotch.

• 45:49Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 45:49Laci Mosley?

  Men don't like that.

• 45:50Speaker 08

  Exactly. And what are these guys, uh, not hung? Cause it's like a joke. It's like, some people like get off for murder because their murder is like boring and not iconic.

• 45:58Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 45:58Speaker 08

  And then somebody who like, yeah, and then somebody, I don't know, like who, uh, I don't know what I'm talking about, but you know what I'm saying?

• 46:04Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 46:04Speaker 08

  Yeah. It's just not, it doesn't like.

• 46:06Laci Mosley?

  Like free solo.

• 46:07Speaker 08

  It's not like good, uh, yeah. Good, good copy.

• 46:09Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it really isn't. It also just, like you were saying, it's kind of insipid. So one of the ski jumping officials who inspected the fluffed up suit said the stretch of the material was quite elastic. And when we felt the suit, it was not elastic at all. They had opened up the five different layers of the material. Are you awake? Is everyone awake out there?

• 46:29Speaker 08

  These guys.

• 46:30Laci Mosley?

  This is like one of those, like, you know, the docs come out and the cops like, so we waited outside his house for four days. And then we went to his trash and bingo, we found a posting note that opened the case wide open. And we're all like, this is the most boring shit I've ever heard in my life.

• 46:43Speaker 08

  And it's the best day of this loser's life. Oh, I caught them. Oh, wow. I got to do my job once in my fucking dumb life.

• 46:49Laci Mosley?

  It got passed around for three years.

• 46:51Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 46:52Laci Mosley?

  Until I cracked it.

• 46:53Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 46:53Laci Mosley?

  Like, okay, okay, sit down, buddy.

• 46:55Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 46:56Laci Mosley?

  So, um, they're, you know, ripping open the material. They're finding a different kind of material and that they had sewn back in the material or whatever. They absolutely knew this shit was going on because if you're inspecting a suit, why wouldn't you be doing that shit right before the actual competition? That's like people doing drug tests, like two weeks out before the actual competition and being like, y'all good? Y'all passed? We did it a month ago. Y'all passed? It's like, no, I could be juicing right now. I could get back on the drugs.

• 47:24Speaker 08

  Yeah. These guys are popping Rickles like nobody's business. These guys' breath is so fresh, it makes them twice as fast.

• 47:30Laci Mosley?

  It does. It's just Rickles. They fly through the air.

• 47:32Speaker 08

  This is a step down from blowing an Alpine horn. I want to hear that horn. This, again, gives more than it takes. Or takes more than it gives, this dumb sport.

• 47:41Laci Mosley?

  Ski jumping crotch rules. I know you want to hear more, John.

• 47:44Speaker 08

  Please.

• 47:45Laci Mosley?

  The objective in ski jumping is done to do one big jump and fly through the air further than the competition. Not, it's in the name. But if you guys didn't know, I know. So you're, you're, you achieve this by going fast with as little drag as possible. And once you're in the air, you hold perfectly still and try to catch the wind with your body and sail. And this also includes your penis and balls. So I guess your penis and balls gotta be still. Why you flying?

• 48:12Speaker 08

  Still.

• 48:12Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 48:13Speaker 08

  You can't be.

• 48:14Laci Mosley?

  Flapping around.

• 48:15Speaker 08

  You can't be flying with an angry dick.

• 48:17Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 48:19Speaker 08

  You should tuck it.

• 48:20Laci Mosley?

  You need like a sports bra for your dick. They should tuck.

• 48:23Speaker 08

  Yeah, they should tuck.

• 48:23Laci Mosley?

  More surface area too, the drag queens need to get involved because if they tuck.

• 48:27Speaker 08

  We stick our dicks in our butts and it smoothes it all out.

• 48:31Laci Mosley?

  More aerodynamic.

• 48:33Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 48:33Laci Mosley?

  You're playing, but I'm serious. Like RuPaul, get with the ski jumpers.

• 48:37Speaker 08

  These guys do shit like that. It's crazy.

• 48:39Laci Mosley?

  So a larger suit can extend a jumper's flight by several meters. Teams of experts test the skis and clothing in wind tunnels to maximize the aerodynamics. Kind of like what you were saying earlier, John, with like, maybe they were in a wind tunnel, right? Long before the jumpers tried to achieve the perfect takeoff, fly and form and landed. One study published in October in a scientific journal showed that adding about half an inch of fabric to the circumference of a suit could increase the jump by nine feet.

• 49:05Speaker 08

  Damn.

• 49:05Laci Mosley?

  So if y'all just had bigger penises, you would have been jumping bigger already, but they had to put in lots of material for y'all.

• 49:12Speaker 08

  This is crotch measurement. Yeah.

• 49:14Laci Mosley?

  So the study's co-author, Sorin Muyer, and the area stretched by the V position of, says the area stretched by the V position of the leg in the crotch area is the most noticeable and offers a great advantage, the crotch. He's, it's the first time I've ever heard the crotch offers a great advantage. Okay? It's been disadvantaging women and men all over the world for years.

• 49:36Speaker 08

  That's true.

• 49:37Laci Mosley?

  So he's the head of the ski jumping research at the Institute for Applied Training Science in Leipzig, Germany, which is a job you can have if you want.

• 49:47Speaker 08

  That's a side job. It's not a job.

• 49:49Laci Mosley?

  This is his profession.

• 49:50Speaker 08

  He waits tables at my old place. This guy's got, this is his, not, not his money job.

• 49:56Laci Mosley?

  And you don't even know what Sorin up to. He could be looking at crotches with magnifying glasses all day, just getting the stitches and, you know, he throwing crotches in a simulator.

• 50:05Speaker 08

  This, he probably gets paid better than anybody. This, this is who gets free healthcare. These losers.

• 50:10Laci Mosley?

  Oh, for sure. He's getting free healthcare for sure.

• 50:13Speaker 08

  The country's perfect. It's locked down.

• 50:14Laci Mosley?

  Imagine a country so great that your whole job could just be crotchin'.

• 50:18Speaker 08

  Yeah, just crotch, paying attention to the fabric on the front of these non-athletes.

• 50:23Laci Mosley?

  Not even the whole suit.

• 50:24Speaker 08

  Yeah, no.

• 50:25Laci Mosley?

  You're a crotch specialist.

• 50:26Speaker 08

  It's just the crotch. Man.

• 50:29Laci Mosley?

  Like America, we really robbed ourselves of opportunities.

• 50:32Speaker 08

  He's a billionaire, this guy. He's just hoarding money.

• 50:35Laci Mosley?

  So, this incident brought national shame to Norway.

• 50:38Speaker 08

  Yeah, dude.

• 50:39Laci Mosley?

  And Norway invented ski jumping, and they usually dominate the international competition. They fired their men's league team like leadership as a punishment for the scandal. One German ski jumping champion said, "This is doping, just with different needles."

• 50:53Speaker 08

  Oh.

• 50:54Laci Mosley?

  Okay, he kinda ate with that.

• 50:55Speaker 08

  Sewing needles.

• 50:55Laci Mosley?

  Sewing needles.

• 50:57Speaker 08

  It is doping with different needles.

• 51:00Laci Mosley?

  Steve's doping.

• 51:00Speaker 08

  That's a great fucking German.

• 51:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he ate with that one. He ate with that one.

• 51:04Speaker 08

  That kicks ass. That guy worked on that. He workshopped that.

• 51:06Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah. He was like, "Oh, they interview me tomorrow."

• 51:08Speaker 08

  How about this?

• 51:10Laci Mosley?

  This is a crutchless... No, no, no, no, no.

• 51:12Speaker 08

  Ah, different needles, ah!

• 51:15Laci Mosley?

  This, they have no balls. No, no, no, no, no.

• 51:17Speaker 08

  Ah, yeah, yes.

• 51:19Laci Mosley?

  How do I make this important?

• 51:20Speaker 08

  Ah, it is stupid sport. We, ah, we have, ah, it is doping, but with dicks instead of steroids.

• 51:30Laci Mosley?

  Ah, you're close.

• 51:31Speaker 08

  Okay, ah, don't know.

• 51:34Laci Mosley?

  We got there. We got there with needle, and y'all really ate with that.

• 51:36Speaker 08

  No, he kicked ass. He, he nailed that. You know, I'll give him credit for that.

• 51:39Laci Mosley?

  Now I care. Now I care suddenly about this, and I'm enraged.

• 51:43Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 51:43Laci Mosley?

  And I'm gonna call Norway.

• 51:45Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 51:46Laci Mosley?

  And I'm sure they wanna hear from us because they've been hearing about that in the newspapers.

• 51:50Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:51Laci Mosley?

  Now we gotta hit 'em with this.

• 51:52Speaker 08

  I'm gonna be like, "You beautiful fjords, don't get me wrong, but these are, this is wrong."

• 51:57Laci Mosley?

  And we're angry.

• 51:58Speaker 08

  And there's that one movie that's a place, takes place in Norway, and it's very disturbing. Or the, the, the one where it's about the murder. It's great.

• 52:04Laci Mosley?

  You were murdered today, John.

• 52:06Speaker 08

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, let's kill Alex Volno.

• 52:08Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my God.

• 52:10Speaker 08

  Let's kill that dude. Nah, I love ya.

• 52:11Laci Mosley?

  And who was this anonymous whistleblower? Blower could go a lot of different ways here. Who blew these men's crotches? We still don't know. We still don't know. They're anonymous. They did it for the love of the game.

• 52:27Speaker 08

  His name was Adolf Hitler. Junior.

• 52:31Laci Mosley?

  Junior, crazy. I feel like it's gotta be the guy who the German ski jumping champion who was like, this is doping just with a different needle. It's giving you.

• 52:40Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 52:40Laci Mosley?

  Sodom.

• 52:41Speaker 08

  That guy ate, that guy ate with that. He's like, excuse me.

• 52:45Laci Mosley?

  And then he put it up anonymously because he probably didn't want to be no snitch.

• 52:48Speaker 08

  No.

• 52:48Laci Mosley?

  Because that probably doesn't look good in their forums for anybody to be snitching.

• 52:52Speaker 08

  Yeah, he'll still be able to participate in the sport, but he can't hang out.

• 52:54Laci Mosley?

  Because then who's gonna want to do you at Olympic Village if they think you're a snitch?

• 52:57Speaker 08

  No, and Olympics apparently we're, we're learning is all about fucking each other.

• 53:01Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 08

  Like, that's what it's about.

• 53:03Laci Mosley?

  So it's like he was going, he wasn't gonna get no play if he, he, if he'd come out like a lang. And yeah, I feel like he did it.

• 53:08Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 53:08Laci Mosley?

  Because that's why he got the like, the real country like phrase.

• 53:10Speaker 08

  He'd be slumming it with the, the curlers.

• 53:12Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 53:13Speaker 08

  He'd be like, alright, these curlers aren't too good looking, but uh, you know, these people won't talk to me.

• 53:18Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 53:18Speaker 08

  I'm a rat. I'm a jump rat.

• 53:21Laci Mosley?

  Right, you don't be a jump rat. You want to hang out with the figure skaters. You can't be no jump rat.

• 53:25Speaker 08

  I burned all my relationships over there. I burned it. It's cool. I burn a lot of bridges, but I'm fucking right. I'm right.

• 53:33Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I feel like he the jump rat. We, they're never gonna tell us that. His phrase was just too good. It was too perfect with the needles and the doping.

• 53:40Speaker 08

  Yeah, it was too iconic, yeah. This guy's a rat.

• 53:43Laci Mosley?

  We know what you are. We know who you are.

• 53:45Speaker 08

  We know. You're the only funny German.

• 53:47Laci Mosley?

  Right, yeah. Come on. Y'all ain't had nothing to come out there slapped since ever, really?

• 53:52Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 53:53Laci Mosley?

  So yeah, we know what you are. So what, what happens at the Olympics now? After an 11 month investigation, the International Ski and Snowboard Federation, the FIS, announced an 18 month suspension for the head coach, assistant coach, and suit technician on January 15th, less than a month before the start of the Winter Olympics. And even after those 18 months, they probably won't become like, welcome back for work in any sports teams in Norway ever again because of the shame they brought on, on the house. So the head coach said, we regret it like dogs. And I'm terribly sorry that this happened.

• 54:26Speaker 08

  I think that might be lost to translation. We regret it like dogs. Oh my god, that's Norway only.

• 54:34Laci Mosley?

  We regret it like dogs.

• 54:35Speaker 08

  We regret it like dogs, sorry. By the way, these people should get paid for this. Because it's the only thing that's got me interested in this dumb sport. They should be like, this is, this is probably the biggest, having a scandal like this? They should be given a gold medal for just bringing attention to this.

• 54:51Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, for influence.

• 54:52Speaker 08

  Yeah, exactly, just like, uh, breakdance crazy lady.

• 54:57Laci Mosley?

  I wouldn't have known about breakdance until she went over there and was terrible.

• 55:00Speaker 08

  She's like, I'm a kindergarten teacher.

• 55:04Speaker 08

  Breakdancing the kindergarten.

• 55:06Laci Mosley?

  We need you to stop teaching it to them kids. Are you sure the kids aren't teaching you? It's giving the kids a teaching you breakdance. They're like, look what I can do. And you're like, I'm taking that move.

• 55:14Speaker 08

  Act like a bunny, act like a kangaroo.

• 55:16Laci Mosley?

  So Marius and Johan, the ski jumpers, or Johan, will be allowed to compete as long as their crotches aren't enhanced. Dang, now they're gonna be all in y'all crotch, like, heavily. Y'all getting crotch pat downs before everything. So the International Ski Federation said they should have checked and asked questions about the nighttime adjustments. Oh, the nighttime adjustments to their crotches, mhm.

• 55:40Speaker 08

  Oh, this, this reporter's really, uh, really milking this.

• 55:43Laci Mosley?

  Really, truly. Regulators added the new rules before Milan Cortina Winter Games, which are about to start. Before ski jumping events, two officials and a doctor will use improved 3D measurements to evaluate athletes in their uniforms. The shape of the suit will make it harder to tamper with the arm and leg cuffs and more difficult to lower the crotch to provide more surface area. So now they got an MD.

• 56:06Speaker 08

  That's the best use of 3D I've heard recently. They're using 3D measurements to measure dick.

• 56:11Laci Mosley?

  But this is a doctor.

• 56:13Speaker 08

  Yeah, why isn't it a doctor?

• 56:15Laci Mosley?

  And 3D.

• 56:15Speaker 08

  Yeah, we should have a seamstress.

• 56:17Laci Mosley?

  That's professional, but, well, yeah, seamstress, definitely, but they do have that. They have, um, they have the officials who, like, work with the shapes of the suits. So they have that. They have all these people who are gonna now be, I don't know, putting them through like a CAT scan before.

• 56:32Speaker 08

  Daniel Day from Family Threads there, fucking twirling his stash.

• 56:35Laci Mosley?

  Right, and what, and what a weird job to have as a doc. How do you get to crotch inspection when you get your medical degree?

• 56:42Speaker 08

  I don't know, but that guy's sitting around.

• 56:44Laci Mosley?

  Olympic crotch inspection.

• 56:45Speaker 08

  His family's never been more happy. Just like, dad got a job.

• 56:49Laci Mosley?

  Right, that's, that's our dad. The one with a handful of the man crotch. Like, what are we doing? So, after suits pass the control checkpoint, tamper-proof microchips are inserted into the suit to prevent manipulation. Scanners will be able to tell before and after the jump if all of the chips are in place.

• 57:10Speaker 08

  Oh, okay. Wow, that sounds really bad. Yeah, that's just a lot. And that, they add weight, those microchips, you know? You don't think they do, but they do.

• 57:17Laci Mosley?

  People are starving and we got microchips to

• 57:20Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 57:20Laci Mosley?

  prevent crotch tampering.

• 57:22Speaker 08

  Come on.

• 57:23Laci Mosley?

  Let them tamper the crotches. Who is it really hurting?

• 57:25Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 57:26Laci Mosley?

  No one.

• 57:26Speaker 08

  I'll tamper those crotches. Come on, let me in there.

• 57:30Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, John just goes to the Olympics to tamper with the

• 57:32Speaker 08

  I'm just tampering crotches, you know, in the Olympic village.

• 57:36Laci Mosley?

  So, also, anyone disqualified for an equipment violation will get a yellow card, like a soccer penalty. Another violation leads to a red card disqualification from the next event, plus the team loses their slot for the skier in the competition. I have a feeling that they don't have enough people who can do this sport or want to do this sport. Because in any other doping situation or cheating situation, you're just disqualified and they usually strip you of your medals and your awards or whatever. But for this, like, I think there's not that many guys who can do this. So they're like, if we disqualify everybody, we can't, we ain't gonna support no more.

• 58:08Speaker 08

  You know, Germanic people just love to make rules. You know? Oh, no, it's gonna be a yellow card thing and then a red card and then a blue card and then you're disqualified. Yeah, they just don't

• 58:17Laci Mosley?

  And a black card.

• 58:18Speaker 08

  Yeah, they don't have enough, then a Visa black card.

• 58:22Speaker 08

  They, yeah, they just don't have enough participants, you're right. They're just like, okay, well, yeah, we can't really kick this guy out. He's really good.

• 58:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, this is, it's, also, this is super dangerous and I just feel like if it's a sport that people aren't really interested in, people clearly don't wanna do, it's probably also very expensive to train for this. Like, they're not gonna be able to get some kid off of the Norway streets and be like, come over here and almost die or maybe die.

• 58:43Speaker 08

  Yeah, you need a big hill and you need a brave person.

• 58:47Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 58:47Speaker 08

  Yeah, to put us to sleep with this boring shit.

• 58:50Laci Mosley?

  But I love how they're trying to wag their finger. It's almost giving like a parent giving the timeout, like, I'm gonna count down from five.

• 58:55Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 58:55Laci Mosley?

  And then they get to one and they're like, Zero.

• 58:59Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 58:59Laci Mosley?

  Negative one.

• 59:01Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 59:01Laci Mosley?

  Like, it's like, they're not really reprimanding these people.

• 59:04Speaker 08

  Wait, his jump is good, but we'll check the dick chips and the dick chips.

• 59:08Laci Mosley?

  The dick chips are good.

• 59:09Speaker 08

  The dick chips are good. It's official. He's boring. He wins gold in the boring sport.

• 59:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh, man.

• 59:19Speaker 08

  It's a game of inches.

• 59:21Laci Mosley?

  It is. It is. It is a game of inches and feet. So that brings us to the end of this story. That was so riveting. Definitely cared about it so much. But John, before I let you go. I want to do a scammer of the week. We haven't done one in a while. So a scammer of the week is where we honor or maybe don't honor a charlatan. Maybe they're worthy of our praise. Maybe they're not. Today, we're gonna keep on that chip thing. You know what I mean? We got dick chips.

• 59:49Speaker 08

  Oh, please. Yes.

• 59:50Laci Mosley?

  Now, we have a couple known as the Fake Chip and Joanna Gaines.

• 59:54Speaker 08

  Okay.

• 59:55Laci Mosley?

  And they have admitted to $5 million in home renovation scams in Texas. So if you don't know who Chip and Joanna Gaines are, they're a couple who have been on HGTV since 2003. And they are from Waco, Texas, and they created the show Fixer Upper and indoctrinated the American viewing public into combining ship lap and claw foot tubs. They're evangelical Christians who now, so Trump supporters, who now have their own TV network and home goods brand at Target. This is them.

• 1:00:25Speaker 08

  They're motivated. Oh, they look like they're made of wax.

• 1:00:28Laci Mosley?

  Right, Joanna, definitely. Also, Joanna doesn't give me full white lady. I'm like, I don't know why you are evangelical Christian, because you're not giving me spicy white up in there somewhere, girl.

• 1:00:37Speaker 08

  She's a little spicy.

• 1:00:38Laci Mosley?

  When they start holding up them cue cards in the race wars, they gonna take your ass.

• 1:00:41Speaker 08

  Yeah, she's next.

• 1:00:43Laci Mosley?

  You're not gonna make it. You're not gonna make it, girl.

• 1:00:45Speaker 08

  Yeah, sure. She's, her 23 and me is.

• 1:00:48Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we know where, we know where it is.

• 1:00:50Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:51Laci Mosley?

  So Christopher and Raquel Judge are a married couple from Fort Worth. I love that this is from Texas. They're a married couple from Fort Worth. And they admitted that between 2020 and 2023, they presented themselves as just as good as Chip and Joanna, and they said that they could do architecture. Construction and interior design, just like the famous TV couple. I can tell you right now, it's probably been years since Joanna or her man, whatever his name is, Chip, have ever probably touched a hammer, a nail. Like, they're just the face of this. And then the construction workers come in. Like, you really think they doing this? That's the power of television.

• 1:01:29Speaker 08

  We can make stupid clawfoot tubs like these jerks. Wait, what is the, so there's a couple that's real?

• 1:01:35Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:01:35Speaker 08

  And then there's a couple, what did they say? They were like,

• 1:01:37Laci Mosley?

  So the fake couple said, we can do it just as good as Chip and Joanna. They said, we just like Chip and Joanna. Look at us.

• 1:01:44Speaker 08

  They're whiter, certainly.

• 1:01:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we're whiter too. Like, we look, come on now, who you gonna go with?

• 1:01:49Speaker 08

  We follow Christ even more. He's even deeper in our hearts.

• 1:01:51Laci Mosley?

  Okay? I've never been to a church that didn't have only drum music.

• 1:01:55Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Laci Mosley?

  All we wear is jeans.

• 1:01:59Speaker 08

  All we wear is true religion. And there's only one Christ.

• 1:02:03Laci Mosley?

  Right. My church always got pyrotechnics. We are the whiter ones here, okay?

• 1:02:09Speaker 08

  All, all the priests are up on wires. Everybody's flying.

• 1:02:12Laci Mosley?

  Everybody's flying. Hell, I fly sometimes.

• 1:02:16Laci Mosley?

  So, they pleaded, the car fake couple, Christopher and Raquel, they pleaded guilty to federal charges of using social media to defraud dozens of homeowners out of nearly $5 million with the promise of custom homes and renovations. They would present clients with a below-market bid to secure the building contracts before starting projects that were never finished and ultimately left victims with incomplete houses. Now, damn, why would y'all not finish their houses?

• 1:02:45Speaker 08

  That's weird, yeah.

• 1:02:46Laci Mosley?

  They were trying to get a quick check. They were like, we're good-looking, we're white.

• 1:02:50Speaker 08

  People are gonna talk about this. People are gonna talk about this. What was that intonation?

• 1:02:55Laci Mosley?

  I also just love them trying to give out discount Chip and Joanna Gaines. Like, I hope somebody showed up with like a handheld camera and pretended that they were filming it for their own TV show too. Like, walk us through here, so damn.

• 1:03:08Speaker 08

  There's another, there's another level of people who do apartments.

• 1:03:11Laci Mosley?

  And they're like, when are we gonna see this? Oh, it's gonna be out. It's gonna be out on all platforms.

• 1:03:15Speaker 08

  Let's judge them just on attractiveness. Let's look at the first good couple.

• 1:03:19Laci Mosley?

  I'm trying to figure out, one of them is giving me stud energy, like, are y'all both girls?

• 1:03:26Speaker 08

  I think the first one, the first one, the legit ones.

• 1:03:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 08

  And then the, who, let's look at the scammers. They're both scammers, let's face it.

• 1:03:32Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:33Speaker 08

  They're younger, the scammers.

• 1:03:34Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:03:35Speaker 08

  She's got a five head, he's, he's, yeah, no, bad veneers.

• 1:03:41Speaker 08

  He's got, he's got gentler eyes than the other, the other guy looks really dumb.

• 1:03:45Laci Mosley?

  He, he looks kinda, yeah.

• 1:03:47Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:03:47Laci Mosley?

  He also just kinda looks like he hangs out with people that say just like the worst things ever, but he considers himself like a better guy because he's just like cosigning.

• 1:03:55Speaker 08

  He's a cross burner.

• 1:03:56Laci Mosley?

  He's not coming up with the bad shit.

• 1:03:59Speaker 08

  Yeah, he's just, yeah, he's, he's, he's withstanding it very easily.

• 1:04:03Laci Mosley?

  They're cracking a beer and he's like, yeah, that's why I'm like, we should kill them all. And he's like, hey buddy, you wild boy.

• 1:04:09Speaker 08

  That's my boy, that's my boy.

• 1:04:10Speaker 09

  Would this couple get hired at your guys' restaurants?

• 1:04:13Speaker 08

  Um, for the lady, I'd have to see that body. Um, for the guy, no.

• 1:04:17Laci Mosley?

  Like, yeah. The lady for sure.

• 1:04:21Speaker 08

  The lady, yeah, she probably would. She's like, pretty, yeah.

• 1:04:24Laci Mosley?

  The guy I could see behind the bar, I could see behind the bar, but I need to know what's under that hat, cause he hat fishing right now. So, you know, hats are makeup for men, so I need to know how much foundation he got on.

• 1:04:35Speaker 08

  Yeah, he could get hired at a cafeteria, right cafeteria?

• 1:04:38Laci Mosley?

  Cafeteria, yeah, he looks, he looks like he would appear in an episode of Sex and the City.

• 1:04:41Speaker 08

  Right.

• 1:04:42Laci Mosley?

  You know, uh, them, no, they're not getting hired.

• 1:04:44Speaker 08

  Like Aiden, right?

• 1:04:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he does look kinda like Aiden, yeah. Now, the originals, um, Chip and Joanna, they not getting hired. Like Joanna might as well slide as a hostess somewhere, but Chip.

• 1:04:54Speaker 08

  Oh man, she'd be a hostess at like, uh, yeah, Olive Garden.

• 1:04:57Laci Mosley?

  She can do a little better than Olive.

• 1:04:59Speaker 08

  Olive Garden, North Hills of Pittsburgh, where I'm from.

• 1:05:02Laci Mosley?

  Damn, okay, you know I went to school in Pittsburgh, so I know specifically what you're talking about. I went to Pitt.

• 1:05:06Speaker 08

  You went to Pitt?

• 1:05:07Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:05:07Speaker 08

  Oh my god.

• 1:05:08Laci Mosley?

  So I know exactly.

• 1:05:09Speaker 08

  Did you do improv at Friday Night Improv?

• 1:05:11Laci Mosley?

  I think I tried, they were like a little snobby about it at the time.

• 1:05:14Speaker 08

  They were, yeah.

• 1:05:14Laci Mosley?

  And I was like, okay bitch, now who on TV, huh?

• 1:05:17Speaker 08

  Yeah, exactly, exactly.

• 1:05:19Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they were a little sorry about it.

• 1:05:20Speaker 08

  Wow, you went to Pitt.

• 1:05:21Laci Mosley?

  I did. Alligator, connect, connect, connect.

• 1:05:23Speaker 08

  Oh, my God. Wow.

• 1:05:24Laci Mosley?

  So, yeah, but those are litmus tests for if they would be able to work in the hot people restaurants in New York. Now, while clients were asking the scam couple about delays in construction and incomplete projects, Chris and Raquel were using the money on mortgage payments, living expenses, and plastic surgery.

• 1:05:44Speaker 08

  How dare you call yourself a follower of Christ? Oh, my God.

• 1:05:49Laci Mosley?

  Took these people money and went out and got so, so BBLs, like. I wonder what the plastic surgery was. You did say you saw bad veneers, but perhaps it was the veneers?

• 1:05:58Speaker 08

  They got definitely dental, something dental going on. That guy's got nine extra teeth.

• 1:06:03Laci Mosley?

  Maybe he went to Turkey and got that, that hair transplant?

• 1:06:06Speaker 08

  Yeah, and that's why he has that hat. That hat is a dead giveaway.

• 1:06:09Laci Mosley?

  Cause, cause his hat, his hair looks so thick that I feel like a guy with hair like that is gonna show that hair off.

• 1:06:14Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:06:15Laci Mosley?

  I mean, look at Rich. He got his hair out all the time. I rarely see Rich in the hat. Great hair, great hairline.

• 1:06:19Speaker 08

  He definitely went to Turkey, which I will never do in probably five years.

• 1:06:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, if you got that good hair, you gotta have it in the wind. Yeah, he went to Turkey for sure. Even how the band is pulled down, I'm like, yeah, you got some dats up there, which is okay, which is okay.

• 1:06:34Speaker 08

  But look how he pushes. Look how he pushes the band out. You know, he likes his hair a certain way when he takes the hat off. And that's why he puts it down. He like, he likes to take it off and have it. I know, cause I'm very vain. Yeah, he's a, he's a gross guy and he's a, seems like a rapist. I'm just gonna say that.

• 1:06:50Laci Mosley?

  Damn.

• 1:06:52Speaker 08

  Well, no, is he gonna come for me? He's a scammer. He scams. He scams rich people, so that is.

• 1:06:57Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, if you have money to spare like this. But at the same time, like, these people might be median income, cause we're talking about Texas. And we're talking about people who've watched like Chip and Joanna, which that was a huge television show on HGTV. These are the non-scamming couple. And they want that cloth of tub, they want that modern place and like, they were excited about it. But somebody telling you that you're gonna get it for the low, I never trust that.

• 1:07:19Speaker 08

  Who would you?

• 1:07:20Laci Mosley?

  But put that bathroom definitely in the Instagram, cause that is definitely like a Pinterest post and now everybody wants that. In reality, like cloth of tubs are. Annoying as hell. Like, I gotta shower first, then get in there with being my me soup, then drain it, then clean it and uh.

• 1:07:36Speaker 08

  Yeah, this is a, this is an Airbnb picture.

• 1:07:39Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40Speaker 08

  This is not, oh, they have a tree there? Is that all there all the time?

• 1:07:43Laci Mosley?

  Right. This is like you come in and you take pictures for your Instagram and you talk about self-care.

• 1:07:47Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:07:48Laci Mosley?

  And your self-care journey.

• 1:07:49Speaker 08

  This is staging. This is not a person's house. This is just staged. And just like they're, just like they're scam.

• 1:07:55Laci Mosley?

  Just as part of a good point that also you can get injured with a clawfoot tub. Like, like, people almost fall out of them or do fall out of them. Which reminds me of the fact that they're from an older time and we upgraded the tub for a fucking reason.

• 1:08:07Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:08:07Laci Mosley?

  But people be all nostalgic, like, oh, I bathe outside with a bucket and hot water and I just pour it over my body. It's like, oh, there's a whole reason we invented the shower bookie. We don't want to do that.

• 1:08:16Speaker 08

  Yeah. Do you wash your clothes with a fucking board thing? Like,

• 1:08:21Speaker 08

  in a fucking stream?

• 1:08:22Laci Mosley?

  That's such a-

• 1:08:23Speaker 08

  What are you doing?

• 1:08:24Laci Mosley?

  It's a rich people aesthetic to choose struggle because they have free time to do store.

• 1:08:27Speaker 08

  Thank you. Yeah.

• 1:08:28Laci Mosley?

  That's exactly what it is.

• 1:08:29Speaker 08

  It's a little bit of a bespoke kind of thing. It's like a trad wife kind of like.

• 1:08:33Laci Mosley?

  It's exactly what I was gonna say.

• 1:08:34Speaker 08

  Perhaps it's 1885. Yeah.

• 1:08:37Laci Mosley?

  My husband wanted fresh baked bread, so I went outside and I grew some wheat. After the wheat had germed and sprouted,

• 1:08:46Speaker 08

  Yes.

• 1:08:46Laci Mosley?

  I milled it in my kitchen. Once I had the flour made, I went out and milked my cow and churned the butter.

• 1:08:53Speaker 08

  I was fucking my mistress in my pieta tear in Fort Worth. And then I came home to my horrible robot wife. She had made me.

• 1:09:05Speaker 08

  The fresh bread was sourdough and boy, did it hit the spot.

• 1:09:08Laci Mosley?

  It took three weeks to make. Like, girl, like, it's such a flex. Girl, we going to the store. I don't need to be doing all that. Y'all make y'all own fresh oranges and bread and, um, Rice Krispie treats from actual rice crazies.

• 1:09:23Speaker 08

  We farm the rice in our rice paddy in our backyard.

• 1:09:27Laci Mosley?

  Which you're technically not supposed to have in Los Angeles County, but we do.

• 1:09:31Speaker 08

  But we do. We paid the, we pay the fines.

• 1:09:34Laci Mosley?

  So, um, in one Texas town called Runaway Bay, Christopher, who's the guy with the hat on scammer, he racked up more than 400 citations for building code enforcement, which is now like how the FBI got involved. So, they were making money with this. And I love that they're in a place called Runaway Bay because they're definitely running away with everybody's money. Like, they asked for a bay window and you ran away.

• 1:10:01Laci Mosley?

  So, um, yeah, he got 400 citations because he was just not like knowing what he was doing when it comes to building code or any enforcement. So, these houses can't even stand it. You know, Texas has some severe weather events. You know how they have the Waffle House index in like Florida and like other states like Georgia where like if the Waffle House closes, the weather is about to be a real serious situation.

• 1:10:23Speaker 08

  Oh, really?

• 1:10:23Laci Mosley?

  Because Waffle House stays open. It's like a whole thing. Well, now we have the Ted Cruz index in Texas.

• 1:10:28Speaker 08

  That's true.

• 1:10:29Laci Mosley?

  Yes. So, it's like if Ted is cruising, we in for a bruising.

• 1:10:32Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:10:32Laci Mosley?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:10:33Speaker 08

  If Ted is Runaway Bay, we're in for a bad day.

• 1:10:37Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:10:38Speaker 08

  Runaway Bay, who named your town? The Babysitters Club?

• 1:10:41Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 1:10:42Speaker 08

  Fucking Nancy Drew mystery girl.

• 1:10:44Laci Mosley?

  I know, it does sound like somebody did a murder and everybody has a secret.

• 1:10:46Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:10:47Laci Mosley?

  But yeah, if Ted flying, everybody dying.

• 1:10:53Laci Mosley?

  It makes us that all these citations were what brought the FBI into this situation. And now Chris faces up to 20 years in prison for wire fraud. Now, it says Chris, it doesn't say Raquel.

• 1:11:05Speaker 08

  Damn.

• 1:11:06Laci Mosley?

  So, Chris, are you going-

• 1:11:06Speaker 08

  She thought it was legit the whole time, right?

• 1:11:09Laci Mosley?

  Raquel had to know.

• 1:11:10Speaker 08

  Did you read about this Jen Shaw thing?

• 1:11:12Laci Mosley?

  Which one?

• 1:11:13Speaker 08

  Jen Shaw, I just, I don't know about, I didn't watch that, but-

• 1:11:16Laci Mosley?

  Oh, are you talking about when she was scamming them old people?

• 1:11:18Speaker 08

  She was scamming old people. And it was like, in order to make a website, you need to pay me $40,000. Old people would just do it.

• 1:11:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:24Speaker 08

  It's so crazy.

• 1:11:25Laci Mosley?

  She took advantage of the elderly. She's in jail right now currently being an influencer. She'll be out soon. She got her sentence reduced. Like, Jen is about to be out here in these streets again. And I know she's going right back to Real Housewives of Salt Lake. And I'm, I will have to turn my television on.

• 1:11:36Speaker 08

  All right.

• 1:11:37Laci Mosley?

  And see what she's up to.

• 1:11:38Speaker 08

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:11:38Laci Mosley?

  But what she did was completely unethical. And also, she was going after the most vulnerable people in society. At least these people were trying to- Get a clothed tub. If you're thinking about a clothed tub, you got, your problems aren't as bad.

• 1:11:47Speaker 08

  You already have a tub.

• 1:11:49Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you already have a tub.

• 1:11:50Speaker 08

  Yeah, you already have one tub.

• 1:11:52Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:52Speaker 08

  And you probably have four tubs.

• 1:11:54Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, these are rich tub problems.

• 1:11:55Speaker 08

  Yeah, this is rich.

• 1:11:56Laci Mosley?

  Cause if you want an aesthetic tub, you definitely already have a tub. And you most definitely have a shower.

• 1:12:00Speaker 08

  This is like an outdoor shower. Like you already have a shower, you want an outdoor shower.

• 1:12:04Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we can't feel that bad for you for, for wanting that.

• 1:12:06Speaker 08

  Yeah, these people own a chain of hardware stores or something. These are rich people.

• 1:12:11Laci Mosley?

  Well, actually it looks like both of them are scheduled to be sentenced separately later this year, according to federal prosecutors. Now, getting the feds involved is very dumb. Y'all should have kept it at a misdemeanor level and wire fraud is how they get you. And y'all will probably do time, depending on your audience though. I feel like if they get a jury of their peers in bumfuck Texas. They might get away.

• 1:12:35Speaker 08

  Yeah, they might. Their peers are gonna see those teeth and be like, damn.

• 1:12:38Laci Mosley?

  But if your peers are broke, you're not getting away.

• 1:12:40Speaker 08

  The peers are broke, orange is the new tub.

• 1:12:42Laci Mosley?

  Yep.

• 1:12:43Speaker 08

  You know what I'm saying? Orange is the new.

• 1:12:45Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:12:46Speaker 08

  Right? Please, yeah, I hope they got caught in like a, in like a county in the middle of the state. Instead of like Runaway Bay or whatever, yeah.

• 1:12:53Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I don't want them to be like, is that y'all in there in Runaway Bay Road? Like Boo J Road? I don't want you to get caught on Boo J Road. I want y'all like be accosted at, at your mega church.

• 1:13:02Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:03Laci Mosley?

  Like I want it to be embarrassing.

• 1:13:04Speaker 08

  I want Ted Cruz to also be in that jail.

• 1:13:07Laci Mosley?

  Oh, we would love for Ted Cruz to be in somebody's jail, but no, he's gonna be in Cancun.

• 1:13:11Speaker 08

  He's gonna be in Cancun, doing it up.

• 1:13:13Laci Mosley?

  Well, John, that was fantastic. What a wonderful time I've had with you.

• 1:13:17Speaker 08

  I've had a wonderful time as well. This is great.

• 1:13:19Laci Mosley?

  We always ask on this podcast where we like to be found. So that's anything you wanna plug? Socials, things that you have coming up, people can see you.

• 1:13:26Speaker 08

  Look, Fallout, season two is happening now. It's out, check it out, it's really good. It's a global sensation. Everyone's into it. Yeah, check, check me out in that and check me out at John Daily Graham, J O N D A L Y Graham. And follow me on there for updates on all of my projects.

• 1:13:48Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:13:48Speaker 08

  Thank you so much.

• 1:13:50Laci Mosley?

  And as always, y'all, D I B A L A C I, D V A L A C I on all platforms. If you wanna see the photos. These people I know you do. Scam Goddess Pod, get into it. Uh, Scam Goddess Pod on Instagram. Look for us on TikTok as well. And y'all, my live show is happening right now. So if you are in Chicago, March 26th, come slide on me at the House of Blues. If you're in Irving, Texas, April 9th, y'all better shut the fuck out. That's where I live. That's where I'm from, okay? Runaway Bay, you run your ass to the show on April 9th, that day. Punchline Comedy Club.

• 1:14:21Speaker 08

  Ted Cruz is coming.

• 1:14:22Laci Mosley?

  Ted Cruz is coming. You better get out here. Now, New York, New York, April 18th at the Gramercy Theater. And then finally, uh, San Francisco, California, April 30th at the Cops Theater. We're gonna have a reunion at the Cops Theater. Y'all already know what's up and it's stuck. All right, congregation, I really want y'all to get out there and stay running away. Yeah.

• 1:14:42Speaker 08

  Damn.

• 1:14:43Laci Mosley?

  Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Sisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

• 1:15:02Speaker 13

  Quick break from the case. If there's a kid on your gift list this year, here's one you can close fast. Guardian is the number one kids bike on the market with over 1 million riders. And the easiest way to learn. They're lightweight with a wide wheelbase, so kids ride in just a day. No training wheels needed. Designed and assembled in the USA. And Wirecutter's top pick four years in a row. Save over 40% now. Plus, get $100 in free accessories with every bike. ShopGuardianBikes.com and it's case closed on the best kids gift this year.

• 1:15:44Speaker 14

  She's been thinking about this sleepover all week, but I think about her food allergies all the time. Fortunately, her doctor prescribed Zolair, omalizumab. It's proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens.

• 1:15:57Speaker 15

  Zolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people one year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Zolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Zolair. Zolair may cause a severe, life-threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Zolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Zolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis, while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection, or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see zolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Zolair. This is an advertisement for Zolair

• 1:16:42Speaker 15

  paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

• 1:16:44Speaker 09

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• 1:17:14Speaker 16

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