People Buy You | Jordan Harbinger - 2029

Your prospect isn't only buying the product or the price. They're buying you. That's the idea behind one of Jordan Harbinger's https://www.jordanharbinger.com/ most popular keynotes, and it's why we're pulling this archive conversation back out. Jordan went from a bored kid who got into trouble to a Wall Street attorney to the host of one of the biggest interview podcasts around. And the thread running through all of it is relationships. The principles here haven't aged a bit. This episode explores all of it. Why Jordan Started Studying This in the First Place Jordan assumed people with strong networks were either born into them or got there through some elite club or school connection. That changed on Wall Street, when he realized everyone around him was just as smart and just as hardworking. Being the smartest or the hardest worker in the room was no longer a real advantage. A partner at his firm who was rarely in the office turned out to be out generating business through relationships, not hiding from work. That single conversation changed how Jordan thought about his entire career. Relationships Are the Foundation, Not the Finishing Touch Jordan compares skipping networking to building a house without a foundation. You don't add the roof and windows first and figure out the foundation later. It doesn't work that way with a business or a career either. The most common mistake people make is pushing networking to later. Entrepreneurs tell themselves they'll focus on relationships once the website, the product, and the ads are all dialed in first. By the time most people realize they skipped it, it's already cost them. Jordan points to the classic moment of watching someone else get promoted to become your boss, when the real difference often wasn't skill. It was who built relationships along the way. Skip Networking Events That Aren't Curated Jordan's rule: avoid any networking event open to the general public. If anyone can walk in, there's a strong chance the room is full of people looking to take, not give. He describes his own experience at open mixers: a rotating cast of financial planners, car salesmen, and life coaches all working the room for a stale cookie and a captive audience. A curated event, like a real chamber of commerce meeting full of actual business owners, is worth your time. If you can't get invited to one, Jordan's advice is simple: build your own. Why Giving First Actually Scales Better Than Closing Jordan contrasts the old "always be closing" mindset with what he calls ABG, always be giving. Closing limits you to the handful of people in a room who happen to need exactly what you sell. Giving opens up nearly everyone in the room, because you're looking for what they need instead of trying to match them to your offer. Jordan's example: instead of pitching graphic design services to someone who doesn't need them, he'd ask what they're working on, then connect them to someone in his network who can genuinely help. That's scalable in a way that chasing a single sale never is. Don't Keep Score Giving only works if it's not secretly transactional. Jordan warns against what he calls keeping score: doing favors while quietly expecting something back later. He illustrates this with a story about a friend who drove a neighbor to the airport repeatedly, expecting it to eventually turn into a relationship, then got upset when it didn't. The resentment showed up in every interaction afterward, and the other person had no idea why. The same pattern shows up constantly in sales. A rep gives a free tip, then pitches the very next interaction. That turns a relationship into a quid pro quo, and people can feel it immediately. Dig the Well Before You're Thirsty Jordan's core advice: build relationships long before you need them. Waiting until you need a job or a referral to start networking is like keeping a spare tire in the trunk and only thinking about it after you're already stuck on the highway. His practical exercise: write down the ten people you'd call if you lost your job tomorrow, then reach out to them this week, while you don't need anything from them. That single habit, reaching out with nothing to ask for, is what separates people with a real network from people scrambling to build one under pressure. "You have to give first, not just because it's a great Zig Ziglar quote or a Brian Tracy principle. It's because it's logistically easier for me to find a need that you have than it is to match a need you have with a service that I provide." — Jordan Harbinger Resources Listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show, wherever you get your podcasts, or visit JordanHarbinger.com. https://www.jordanharbinger.com/Check out 6 Minute Networking, Jordan's free course on building real relationships. https://www.jordanharbinger.com/courseJoin our LinkedIn cohort and learn to prospect the right way. https://thesalesevangelist.com/linkedin-prospecting-course/Visit Blue Mango Studios for help creating podcast production content. https://bluemangostudios.com/ Sponsorship Offers This episode is brought to you in part by HubSpot. You don't become the world's most valuable women's sports franchise by accident. Angel City Football Club did it with a little help from HubSpot, unifying their website, email, and fan experience in one platform, and growing their database 300 percent in two years. Visit hubspot.com to hear how HubSpot can help your team grow better. This episode is brought to you in part by LinkedIn. LinkedIn Sales Navigator uses AI-powered recommendations and real-time account insight to help you spend less time searching and more time selling, all powered by LinkedIn's network of over 1.2 billion professionals. Try it free for 60 days at linkedin.com/sell. This episode is brought to you in part by Blue Mango Studios. Imagine using a podcast as a lead generation source, attracting your ideal customer while getting qualified leads. Find out more at bluemangostudios.com. Credits The Sales Evangelist Podcast is created by the Sales Evangelist Sales Training Organization. It is produced by TSE Studios. Our podcast production manager is Nancy Paul. Our audio engineer is Jerchin Obyale. Our video engineer is Dasan Kunado. Guest management is done by Jill Vito and Christy Vertus. Our content writer is Carlisa Galbreath. Our graphic designer is Urvish Savalia, and Donald C. Kelly is your host and executive producer.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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  You don't become the world's most valuable women's sports franchise by accident. Angel City Football Club did it with a little help from HubSpot. When they started, data was housed across multiple system. HubSpot unified their website, email, and fan experience in one platform. This allowed their small team of three to build an entire website in just three days. Three days. The results, nearly 350 new signups a week and 300% database growth in just two years. Visit hubspot.com to hear how HubSpot can help your team grow better.

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• 1:53Speaker 00

  When your prospects are buying, they're not only buying the product or service that's going to solve a problem that they have. They're also buying you. Listen to why Jordan Harbinger feels so strongly about this. Check it out.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  Hey, hey, hey, everyone. Welcome to another great episode of the Sales Evangelist Podcast. I'm your host, Donald C. Kelly, the Sales Evangelist. And I'm so excited for another great episode. I'm so excited to be here with you today. On this episode, we're going into archive or pulling out one of our episodes from the past with Jordan Harbinger. And we're going to be talking about why people are buying you. Oftentimes as sales reps, we think they're only focusing on a product or a service that we have or the price. But sometimes they're buying you. And Jordan's going to tell us why. If this is your first time listening to our podcasts, I thank you for being here, but please subscribe. We'll notify you every time we drop a new piece of content. If you've been listening for a minute, but you haven't done share this podcast with anybody yet. Come on, man, let's evangelize. Take the link, share it with somebody else. This one is an old one, but the principles still apply. And this is why I'm bringing it back.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  Hope you enjoy this. Check it out.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  Welcome to the show, Jordan.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Hey, man. Thanks for having me on.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Dude, I'm excited to have you, man. I know you're going to bring us tons of value here, but before we dive into all the fun stuff, Jordan, start talking about why people buy you. Why don't you tell us a little bit more about you, man?

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Sure. So I used to be, man, I was a bored kid, got in trouble a lot, decided to go traveling and lived abroad as an exchange student. And when I was in high school, that kind of opened up my eyes to networking and relationship development. Because the family that I lived with there, I lived in a former communist country, former socialist country. And so to get anything done there, you had to know people, you had to schmooze and network and all this stuff and make friends. And I sort of took a page out of that book from my host father, the dad from the family that I was living with there. Later on down the line, traveled a bunch, went abroad a bunch, worked for the State Department, became a Wall Street attorney. Then while I was there, focused even more on the networking and skills, soft skills, you would say, or I would say.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  And then started my show, my old show, which was called The Art of Charm. The new show, Jordan Harbinger Show, is an extension, large part of that. And I use my relationships, my networking connections to teach networking and teach relationships, but also to get amazing guests on the show from amazing celebrities that have really interesting stories, all the way to neuroscientists or other experts that people have never heard of. Cause I think a lot of people think networking, oh, it's about getting in touch with these really in-demand people. But it's also about finding people who are not famous, popular, whatever, but they happen to be a really, really good fit or a really, really interesting conversation. So networking doesn't have to be just reaching up to talk to the boss or the influencer.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  It can be about finding those gems, those needles in haystacks, right? Cause you kind of have this army of people helping you. Does that make sense?

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Well, it makes total sense. I love that idea there too, man. It's like you're, there's so many people with interesting stories and so many people who can deliver so much value, but you don't necessarily have to be celebrities. And sometimes we feel that we have to go out and chase influencers when just connect with Joe down the street, who may be able to connect us with an influencer. But you could have easily got there through Joe as opposed to trying to pay thousands of dollars to get to an event. I don't know if that makes sense, but.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  It does. Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 5:21Speaker 00

  Well, this is why I want to talk to you about this idea. You have a keynote called People Buy You, and it's very powerful. And I would like to hit upon that because so many of us as sales professionals, sometimes we miss that idea. We miss that people are buying us. We push a product, we push a service, and that's in our mind. And we think we're talking to a CEO and don't realize CEO is actually, you know, Mary, who is, has kids and has problems of herself. So I want to talk about that. First off, why did you decide to focus on this as one of your popular keynotes in the first place?

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Sure. So the reason I focused on this, man, originally was because I thought it was something. Well, first of all, I thought you were born into a great network or it was about some sort of secret club. Or you went to Yale, right? And you got your little network there. I didn't realize how important this was going to be. And it especially, it's got especially highlighted when I was on Wall Street. Because I was used to in high school, kind of being the smart kid who could figure stuff out on a test. And then I got to college and everybody was smart, but people weren't really working hard. They were doing a lot of drinking and partying. So I thought, okay, people might be smarter than me, but I can outwork them. So I did that and I had a different kind of competitive advantage.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  And then I got to Wall Street and I was like, oh crap, everybody's smart, everyone's working hard. I'm probably going to get fired or something, you know? I don't have a competitive advantage anymore. Or I'm, even if I don't get fired, I'm going to at best be one of many in the school of fish. You know, the lawyers just sort of swimming along here with no real advantage to speak of. And there was a partner that had been, he hired me, but he was never in the office. And I thought, oh, okay, you know, this guy works from home. I got to figure out how to work from home because if I work from home, they won't know that I'm some sort of loser who doesn't belong here in the first place and they won't fire me. So I started to connect with him and I thought, I'm going to get the magic combination of words to say, to arrange working from home. That's not what happened though.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  When I met up with him, what he told me was, yeah, he doesn't really work from home that much. I mean, a little here and there, but really the reason he's not in the office is he's out generating business for the firm. And I thought, how does that work? You know, cause I'm, I'm a first year, second year associate at this point. I just assumed that people found lawyers in the Yellow Pages or what I Google. You know, I wasn't thinking like this guy's out networking and generating sales somehow. I didn't get it. So when he explained that to me, I realized if I was going to stand out, if I was going to make partner, get to the top of the law game, I really needed to learn how to create and maintain relationships in a way that wasn't smarmy, like, hey, here's my business card. When you need a good lawyer, give me a call.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Like there's a million of those guys, especially in Manhattan, what stands out? And I realized that it was being known, liked and trusted. And he told me himself, this isn't a guy who was able to articulate this strategy by any stretch. But what he was saying was become friends with everybody, help everybody else before you need something from them. And eventually these people will throw you business. And that to me just sounded like Chinese, right? I had no idea what he was talking about. So I decided to dedicate myself to learning how to create and maintain real, authentic relationships that were going to result in opportunities later down the line. As opposed to somebody who had a huge stack of business cards in their office that didn't do anything for them.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  So that was a huge realization for me because it never occurred to me that people do business with people that they know, like, and trust, and that you could do this deliberately and systematically in a way that didn't make you look like a total used car salesman.

• 8:55Speaker 00

  And I would guess, in your mind, going back to young Jordan here, who thinks he can't make it on Wall Street and didn't think that, you know, the no like and trust factor, why did you have that? Why didn't you believe that in the first place? I didn't think it, it just wasn't, were you just naive to the idea? Or was it just more of, it had to be something else? It had to be harder?

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Why did I think I couldn't make it? Or why did I not see the networking thing?

• 9:16Speaker 00

  See the networking side?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I think the reason I didn't see it is because, before you start doing, so networking and relationship development, it's a set of habits, really, is what it comes down to. It's a set of soft skills, personality, things like that, and habits. But what I, when you don't know that, what you view it as, is, oh, well, you know, you work your way up the corporate ladder, and then dot, dot, dot, you just get to know everyone over time. Or, you go, oh, yeah, you know, the longer you work here, the more people you get introduced to. Or, you think, alright, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I'm a partner, I join a country club, and then that's when all this networking stuff starts to happen. And last but not least, probably the most common thing that people,

• 10:00Speaker 01

  the common mistake that people make is they go, okay, yeah, networking for sure is important, but right now, I'm only a first-year associate. Or, if you're an entrepreneur, you're like, look, man, I'll do that, but first, I need to get my website, and then I need to make my online product, and then I need to work on my email list, and then I need to dial in my Facebook ads campaign, and then I need to set up my first live event, and then I can really work on this networking thing, because I'll have a platform. But really, that's backwards. That's kind of like saying, first, I need a roof, then I need to throw in some windows, I'm probably gonna throw a fireplace and a kitchen in there, and then underneath all that, I gotta start building a foundation. You'd never build a house like that. It's physically impossible, right? But, when we look at our businesses or our careers, we often think that we've got to do everything else. We think that our technical

• 10:43Speaker 01

  skills, we think that our work habits and all that stuff, we think those are the foundations, it's part of it. But the foundations also include relationships, and those opportunities that come as a result. Instead of, people look at relationships and networking as kind of like this spice on everything, it's not. It's foundational. And I think a lot of people don't realize that until it's too late. And you know it's too late, because you go, why the hell have I not been promoted in four years? I hired the guy that's now gonna be my boss. What happened here? It doesn't mean that you did something wrong or bad at work, necessarily. What it does mean is that you maybe slept on the networking and relationship development, and the other person didn't. Because, it's not a skill set that's optional.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Like I said, it's foundational. So if you skip it, you're not immune to the consequences, you're just being willfully ignorant of the secret game being played around you.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  Bro, epic. By the way, are you, have you been like stalking me when I first started?

• 11:40Speaker 01

  You know, stalking you? Why? Cause I'm nailing all of your exact mentalities for not networking?

• 11:45Speaker 00

  Oh man, you know all the crappy stuff that we've done, man?

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, everyone, everyone does it.

• 11:51Speaker 00

  That makes sense, what you're mentioning. Cause the reason why I ask that question, Jordan, because as a new sales rep, I had this, this idea in my mind, right? When I first started off selling, I thought you had to do, you know, look a certain way, you had to do a certain thing, and then I quickly realized there's a formula behind it. And I think it's the same thing that you probably saw too, on Wall Street. There's this, not necessarily a secret, but there's a formula behind it. But, everyone else is just saying, you just gotta, like I said, make partner, do all the, you know, do a bunch of calls, work late, and all that stuff. But there's way more to it than that, that was on the surface.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  There's a lot more than there is on the surface, but the thing is, it's not hard. One of the main reasons people procrastinate, isn't just because they feel like they have to get their platform done first, it's because, in a sea of to-dos, if you know you've got to do your website, and you know you have to create a platform, you know you gotta get your social media, whatever, together, and you know how to do that, but then you don't really know how to do the rest of the networking stuff, you're just like, okay, I'm not gonna sit down and figure out all this soft skill stuff, when I have 20 other things that I already know how to do, that are on this to-do list. Why am I gonna figure out how to do something new? And, the answer should be, because it's too damn important to skip. But if we don't know it's foundational, we just go, look, I'll worry about that later once I've knocked out everything else. And that's the mistake that most people are making.

• 13:12Speaker 00

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• 13:57Speaker 00

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• 14:15Speaker 00

  Are there any other mistakes you see that folks make when it comes to networking? Let's say we know we need to network now, so I'm, I'm gonna go out to like a little cocktail party, or go to a chamber meeting. Are those the places I should be starting in the first place?

• 14:28Speaker 01

  I mean, it depends on your business, but I'll say this, I'll throw this little caveat in here. Never, and I throw this in air quotes, you should really never go to an event, networking event, that is not curated. And what that means is, if it's open to the public and anyone can show up, there's a 90% chance that's gonna be a waste of your time. Now, look, if it's a chamber meeting, business owners are gonna go, in a way that sort of curates everything, yeah, there's gonna be like the crazy person who shows up to the chamber meetings, because they have nothing else to do. But, most of the people there are gonna be business owners. So, it's curated in that way. But, I used to go to these, quote unquote, networking meetups, back when I lived in LA and Hollywood. And it was like,

• 15:10Speaker 01

  you'd show up, the new people would introduce themselves, you'd immediately, during the sort of open networking time, you know, there'd be a guy in an ill-fitting suit running the whole thing. During the open networking time, you're eating a stale cookie, and 17 people come up to you and go, hey, I just wanted to welcome you here. I'm a financial planner. Anytime you need any help in this area, please give me a call. And I'd be like, cool. And then a car salesman would come up, and then, a web designer would come up, and then, a life coach would come up. And that, it's just like, wait, what the hell am I doing here? I'm wasting so much time with these people, I'm never gonna deal with these people, and they're just takers. And, it doesn't mean you're never gonna meet anybody at one of those types of events, but what it does mean, is that you're probably in the wrong room.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Unless you're a very super open, like beginner, I just wouldn't go to any event that's not curated. And if you go, but I'm not getting any, invited to any events that are curated, you need to do more individual networking, more networking online, or, you could actually create your own curated event, where you invite people, that you think should know each other, and that you want to generate a better relationship with. And the reason is, if you're just in a room with whoever will show up, imagine who goes to a room where literally anyone can go. Newbies, and people that want something from you. None of those groups of people are going to really add that much value to you. And even if you add value to them first, which I encourage people to do, you're gonna be in a room with

• 16:37Speaker 01

  takers, that are probably never gonna be able to reciprocate. Again, that's fine, but it's not the best use of your time. So, the rule, the first and foremost rule that I have, is never go to an event that is not curated. And if you can't get into an event that is, start one of your own.

• 16:52Speaker 00

  So, I really love that idea. You know, don't sit there and beg for the piece of the pie. If you can't get it, go ahead and make your own pie, right?

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like that.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  And I like that idea. Going back, bro, I've been to those events, and I know what you mean. I went to one, and it was literally like, just like a shark fest. It's like, new blood in the water. And, and I, one of the things I hate the most, Jordan, maybe it's just me, but I know what they're doing. The financial planners, and they all, if you're a financial planner listening to this, you can stop this line, at least with me, but they always say, oh, we should go grab coffee. And I'm like, I know what you're doing. I know what you're trying to do.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Or, it's every time that happens, it's just like, okay, I don't want to buy Herbalife, I don't want to join Scientology. And I don't want to give you my life savings. Do you still want to have coffee with me? No, thanks, bro. See you later. That's like where that ends up.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Oh, man, I take those cards and just kind of like not even pay attention to them. And I, I don't know, it's just embarrassing. So we know we can create our own events and we can, we can do some of these things. Now, I want to go back to something you mentioned a little bit ago about making sure you give first. Why is that so critical? And why do people miss that often?

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I, you don't really, look, I'll put this, put it this way. You don't have to give first. It's just a really hell of a lot more efficient way of getting this done than trying to take first. The other reason is, there's a couple of reasons for this. So have you seen Glenn Gary Glenn Ross where it's like ABC, always be closing? Have you ever seen that?

• 18:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  So that's all fine and good, but the problem is that when you do that, you run into the problem that you are only looking for people that are closable by you. Okay. And so that's a problem. If you're a graphic designer, and these are my favorite examples, I don't know why. It's just an easy internet based job, right? If you're a graphic designer and you're looking for people who need graphics, you're limited to the one in a hundred freaking people in a room or a big room at that, who might need graphics, right? So you're looking for clients to close. So you show up in a room, there's a hundred people in there. Now you're fishing for a needle in a haystack for the one person who might need your services. So you can close them. That's a huge problem.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  If you're looking to ABG instead of ABC, always be giving instead of just taking or trying to close, you can help other people without the attachment to getting anything in return. So that means that pretty much all 100 people in that room, you've got some kind of shot at creating a relationship with them by helping them get what they need. So if I'm trying to sell you graphics and you're like, Jordan, dude, I do not need graphic design, then I might just say, all right, fine. I guess I'm never going to talk to Donald again, or I'll circle back in a year and see if he needs graphics. Right? That's useless. But if I talk to you trying to figure out what your needs are instead of my own, not only do I show up with no agenda and you're not like, what does this guy want? But I show up and I go, what are you doing? Oh, you have a podcast?

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool. How do you record it? Oh, okay. You know, I've been running a podcast for a while and I'm just going to give you a quick tip. If that's cool, this, this, this, and this might change the way you do stuff. Oh, you're editing it all yourself? Oh, that's a lot of work. Why don't I hook you up with somebody who can, at a very reasonable price, edit this for you? It's going to save you like two hours a week. And you're like, whoa, great. That's, that's awesome. I didn't get anything from you. I helped you, but now I have a good relationship with you. And if I hooked you up with a podcast editor, now I've even, I've generated more social capital with that person as well. So I can do those, those opportunities are everywhere because I'm not looking at what's in it for me. I'm looking at what's in it for you and one or more other parties in my network.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  So I have a million times, well, I have a hundred times more opportunities and the opportunities are easier for me. And they're scalable, right? Because say, say I got lucky and you did need graphics. Now I've got to close this, the sale, you might not have the budget for this, right? I've got to consistently rinse and repeat that. And I generate little to no social capital unless I help you for free. In which case now I'm making free graphics for everybody that I can find. That's not a good business model either, right? It's unscalable. So if I'm looking to help you, that's fully scalable. If I'm looking to help you by introducing you to other people, it's fully scalable. Because if I know a hundred people that I met over the last five years,

• 21:18Speaker 01

  there's going to be somebody in that network of a hundred people that's going to be able to help pretty much anybody that I meet with some need that they have, unless they have a really rare or very specialized need. Now my network has thousands of people in it now, but I've been doing it for 11 plus years. So there's a good chance that anytime somebody needs something, no matter what it is in any given room, I can probably say, you know what? I know somebody who does that, or I have access to groups where I can say, hey, look, I know this is really specialized, but I need somebody who works at Zoom to fix this weird video teleconferencing issue that my friend Donald is having. There's going to be somebody who goes, I know the chief technical officer of Zoom. Let me put them in touch. That's scalable. That takes me like 10 minutes, right?

• 22:02Speaker 01

  To figure out who that person is, to get an email introduction together. I'm not sitting there for six hours making graphics for your website. So you have to give first, not just because it's a great Zig Ziglar quote, or a Brian Tracy principle, or some Tony Robbins thing. It's because it actually, logistically is easier for me to find a need that you have than it is to match a need with you have with a service that I provide.

• 22:29Speaker 00

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• 23:13Speaker 00

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• 23:34Speaker 00

  Since 2013, we launched this podcast. The goal of the podcast was to share wealth of information and I feel that we've successfully done so. As a natural byproduct, listeners like you would reach out and ask, could I coach them? Could I train their team? Could I come and speak in an S K O? Could I consult for them? And that is how we gain the majority of our business and still to this day. So in 2019, one of our clients saw what we did and asked, could we do that for them? We experimented with it and we started a podcast production agency. Now we create podcasts for some of the biggest brands in the world and it's amazing. I would love to show you and your team how we can create podcasts for you and use it as an entertaining source, but also educational and a lead generation.

• 24:17Speaker 00

  If you're interested, go to blumango studios.com. Again, blumango studios.com and our team can show you exactly what we did. It's amazing.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  What I come to realize, John, you can let me know if this is what you've seen as well. But when sales professionals specifically are told to go out and to close deals, doing stuff like this take time and it becomes, I mean, you've got to have the strategy or you've got to have the long-term game in mind that you're, you're wanting to help people and not just get an appointment to close a deal. So they often abandon it quickly. Is that something that you've come across?

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Can you rephrase that? I want to make sure I answer the right question.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  Salespeople sometimes come to the point where their job is to go out and find deals, right? To go out and close deals. Oftentimes they abandon a networking strategy like this to go out and give because it's, they don't see the immediate result like tomorrow. So they find themselves leaving it quickly. Is that something that you come across where they don't come into it for a long game? They just come in to get a quick something and jump.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a common issue actually with everybody. It's not even just salespeople. I know that's primarily your audience.

• 25:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  But there's so many things that people do that are short game. And great salesmen that are listening to this, they always play the long game, right? They're thinking, I might not have gotten a sale. And I know you read this in sales books and it's so, people who read this and you're just incredulous, right? It's like, if you find a client that are potential client and your competitor is actually a better fit, you should refer them to your competitor. And it's like, ah, I never want to do that, right? But you know, you know that sometimes you have to do that. And it's, it burns, but what are you going to do? Leave the lead unserviced because you don't want them to buy from your competitor? It's a bad idea. It really is. And if you've ever done that, you probably know that it is.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  So a lot of salespeople will not dig the well before they're thirsty. Or they try to, and they're like, yeah, I'm thirsty all the time. I'm a sales guy. So they go, yeah, hey, Donald, I got this quick thing, you know? I noticed you record a podcast. I've got some podcasting tips for you. And you're like, great, thanks. And then the next day they're like, so I noticed your car tires are a little bit, they're looking a little worn. I got four new tires with your name on it. And you're like, okay, dude, way to make you doing me a favor yesterday look like a quid pro quo deal.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  So what it does is it turns your ABG, always be giving sort of like generosity based relationship long game. It turns it immediately into a transaction. But here's the problem. If I didn't sign up for a transactional relationship with you, I'm just going to be like, thanks for the podcasting tips. I don't want your tires, don't ever, you know, I'm not going to want to talk to you again because I know that it's going to be a pitch or I know that you're keeping score. And what I mean by keeping score is, or there's a chance you're keeping score, I should say. What I mean by keeping score is this, I'll do a non-sales example. So I drive you to the airport. You're like, thanks, Jordan. I'm like, no problem. We're neighbors, right? Then I drive you to the airport again. You're like, man, I really appreciate the ride to the airport. No problem, man. I'm up early.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  I don't mind driving you to the airport. You do the same for me. You're like, yeah, of course I would. I drive you to the airport again, I can pick you up. And then you're like, man, this Jordan guy is really nice. Then in three weeks, I'm like, hey, Donald, I have this book about dog grooming. I know you have a podcast. Can you sell it to your audience? You're like, well, my audience is really a bunch of sales guys and gals. I don't really think dog grooming or whatever, you know, underwater basket weaving is a good niche for them now. And I'm like, oh, okay, fine. And then the next week you're like, hey, I'm going to the airport in the morning. And I'm like, good luck, bro. And you're like, oh, okay. And then another time you're like, hey, you want to go play racquetball? And I'm like, no, I'm busy. And suddenly you're getting the feeling that I'm, I'm mad at you. And the reason I'm being passive aggressive is because I was keeping score, right? I was thinking, if I drive this guy to the airport enough times, he owes me one.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  So when you say no to me, you've broken this covert contract, this agreement that I made in my head about you owing me one because I've done so much for you. So now I'm mad at you, but you're just like, what the hell? My friend Jordan is being such a jerk today or this week, right? Because there's a covert contract. There's an agreement that exists that I made up in my head based on me doing you favors that I would hope turned into something over time. I was attached to the outcome of those, those interactions. I was sort of fake ABG, right? I was being generous. I was giving, but really what I was doing was sort of stacking up store credit. And when you didn't reciprocate, I got mad at you.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  So I poisoned my own relationship with you because you don't know, you don't know what's going on. All you know is that I'm not really that nice anymore and you don't really understand why. And this happens a lot in sales. It happens a lot in business. It happens a lot in dating. In fact, the airport trip example comes directly from a dating thing. My friend back in college used to drive this girl, this neighbor to the airport every single couple. Well, she lived far away. She flew home, I think, every month. He would always drive her to the airport and he was, he had a huge crush on her. One day, we had too much whiskey. He, I find him, yeah, come back from the bathroom and he's like, Angela, I love you. Right? And like, she later on is like, this guy is crazy. And he got all mad at her because he thought, if I just

• 29:39Speaker 01

  keep driving to the airport, you know, we're gonna be, she'll eventually realize I'm the greatest thing ever. And that didn't happen. So then he got really mad at her and they stopped being friends and it was always awkward. And it was a shame. It's a shame. You poison your own relationships when you do this. The other person, the consequences are pretty minimal. They lose you as a fake friend that was never authentic in the first place. So they probably dodged a bullet. And in the meantime, you're poisoning all your own relationships. And that's one of the biggest mistakes that I see everyone, especially salespeople doing is they try to understandably turn every relationship into a quid pro quo transaction or sale. If you're friends with people, they will think of you, of course, and you're totally within your rights to say, hey, when you need a new set of tires, I'm your guy. Don't

• 30:23Speaker 01

  you dare buy tires from someone else. And your friends are gonna go, of course not, I would never buy tires from anyone else. But if you're trying to turn every interaction into a sale, you're gonna push people away instead of reel them in.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  Dude, love it, man. Dude, if I can keep you here for another hour, I would.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  I appreciate that.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  But this was great. And I feel there are a lot of great insights that I, I personally took from it. And one of them in particular is going back to that idea of the event. I spoke about this before and a friend of mine, you know, they say you have a, you know, you have a connection here in South Florida, Donald, why don't you do one? And I thought about doing it. But I think there's ways that I probably can leverage doing one more effectively and being that, you know, getting key people to come together. So that's my big takeaway. But if there's one major piece of advice you'd like folks listening to this episode to walk away with, what's that one major piece of advice, Jordan?

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, my major piece of advice, really, that ABG sort of encompasses a lot of it. Don't keep score and dig the well before you're thirsty. I just gave you three. Sorry about that. But these are all important. And really, look, I'll just, I'll even leave it to dig the well before you're thirsty. Starting making, to make relationships now is by far the most important thing. When you need relationships and you start making them, it's kind of like trying to put a spare tire in the trunk of your car after you get a flat on the highway. It makes absolutely no sense. If I need a job now, I'm at a severe disadvantage trying to cozy up to everybody who can help me. So I would say in the next week, imagine, if you're listening to this right now, imagine you get laid off tomorrow.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Make a list of the 10 people you would call for advice and/or help. Now, reach out to those people right now, today, after you make that list, while you don't need anything specifically. That's a really good way to sort of start digging the well before you're thirsty and get that habit going. Because I'll tell you, this is something that people procrastinate on and it always, it's the kind of thing that will bite you in the butt. Because once you need these relationships, it is too late to start making them.

• 32:24Speaker 00

  Epic. Love it, man. Well, Jordan, if folks out there want to get in touch with you, what's the best way for them to connect with you?

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Sure. So I do host a podcast, The Jordan Harbinger Show. And that's, of course, on any podcast app. You can just search for my name, Jordan Harbinger, or go to jordanharbinger.com. But for purposes of this show, for networking at advancedhumandynamics.com, if you go to advancedhumandynamics.com, I've got networking drills galore. Like the one I just gave you, if you got laid off, da, da, da. I've got like 13, 15 of those and they're all on that website and they'll be sent to your inbox and you can check those things out. And no, I'm not gonna ask for a sale right away as well. I'm gonna do a bunch of networking stuff and I'm adding more to that constantly because networking and relationship development, I'm basically, I'm obsessed with it. There are great ways to do it. It doesn't have

• 33:12Speaker 01

  to take six hours a day, you know, and it's just, it's a life-changing skill set that I want to share with everyone.

• 33:18Speaker 00

  Dude, Mac, absolutely love it. And I appreciate your time coming on the show today, man. Thanks again.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  Thanks for the opportunity, dude. I really appreciate it.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Hey, if you haven't done so already, go connect with Jordan. Some great tips and insights were shared on this episode that can help you right now, especially when you're selling you. People are buying you. Think about some of those principles and check out Jordan, follow him on social and follow him on some of the platforms that he shared where you can best learn from him and some of the great things that he is sharing that can help you improve when people are buying you. I always want you to thrive. I want you to succeed. If you haven't done so already, please take this episode and share it with one other person. Leave us a rating and review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to find podcasts like this. As always, I want you to thrive. I want you to succeed. But most importantly, I want you to raise your level of thinking. I want you to go out and do big things. See you on the next one.

• 34:16Speaker 00

  The Sales Evangelist Podcast is created by the Sales Evangelist Sales Training Organization. It is produced by TSC Studios. Our podcast production manager is Nancy Paul. Our audio engineer is Jershun Obayal. Our video engineer is Dasan Kunado. Guest management is done by Jill Vito and Kristy Virtus. Our content writer is Carlisa Galbreath. Our graphic designer is Yurvish Savalia. And I'm your host and executive producer, Donald C. Kelly.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  Sales Podcast Network.