More Rosebud - Gyles's Diaries episode 46

It's Tuesday, so we have another delicious slice of Gyles's diaries for you. It's 1979, and his son Benet is learning to ride his pony, Tonka; Gyles is learning to drive at the ripe old age of 30, and Michele is giving birth to their third child: Aphra. Plus some fun Gyles and Harriet chat, a brilliant email from Gemma O'Connor about nerves and stage fright, and the usual brilliant observations about British life at the end of the 20th century from Gyles's diary. Enjoy this. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 1:23Speaker 04

  Welcome to another episode of More Rosebud. This is a special episode for us because it's happening on a very special day in our lives. When I say us and our, it's me, Gyles Brandreth, and my friend and partner in this enterprise, Harriet Jane. How are you feeling, Harriet?

• 1:43Speaker 05

  I'm feeling all right today, Giles.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  That's what she's saying. That's what she always says. But the truth is, we're both a bit apprehensive. If you're listening to this on the very day it drops, you're listening to it on the 4th of August 2026.

• 2:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  And that's the day when we find ourselves in the beautiful capital city of Scotland. We're in Edinburgh. Because tomorrow, Wednesday the 5th at 4 o'clock, we have the first performance, the first of four weeks of performances of our show, which we're presenting at the Edinburgh Fringe. It's called Gyles Brandreth: Up Memory Lane, with a twist of Rosebud and Harriet Jane. And it's an hour-long show that we've been working on for a while now, and we're opening. And we're very lucky. We've sold thousands of tickets, but we've got thousands still to sell because it's on every day in quite a large theatre in George Square in Edinburgh, Assembly George Square. The theatre is actually called the Gordon Aikman Theatre.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  I've met some people who knew Gordon Aikman. He was apparently a very good guy. Anyway, that's the theatre we're in, and we're doing this show every day. And today, when we finish this, we are going off to do the tech rehearsal. What does a tech rehearsal mean? You're the producer, Harriet. What's a tech rehearsal mean?

• 3:01Speaker 05

  It's where they make sure the lights are working. They've got the music coming in at the right time. Your microphone is working and your levels are correct. You don't necessarily do the whole show, but you just block through it.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  We may need to do the whole show, Harriet. I think we may need to do the whole show.

• 3:19Speaker 05

  Giles, are you losing your voice?

• 3:21Speaker 04

  I'm losing... Now, I'm losing my voice, I'm losing my nerve. What is interesting, if I was losing my voice, it wouldn't be a surprise.

• 3:28Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  I often talk about one of my heroes, the great Noel Coward. I know he was born in the... I think he was born, actually, in the 19th century, in 1899. He's still alive to me in 2026. He was a great man of the theatre. He was a playwright, he was an entertainer, he was an actor, he was a director. He was, well, he was known as the Playboy of the West End world because he could do it all. He was known as the master because he could do it all. If you read his diaries, and we're getting on to my diaries in a short time, but if you read Noel Coward's diaries, you will see, he keeps getting colds and coughs and wheezing. And if you see, a few weeks later, it's because he's about to appear in a show.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  He finds his voice goes almost every time he's going to do something.

• 4:13Speaker 05

  Is that nerves?

• 4:14Speaker 04

  And it is nerves.

• 4:15Speaker 05

  Oh, gosh, I hope that doesn't happen to us.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  As you've noticed, my back went a couple of weeks ago,

• 4:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  before we did one of our tryouts in London. So, my back goes, sometimes my voice goes. Inevitably, one gets anxious. And you, you can be honest with people. I mean, I've told you before, and I've told listeners before, I've been doing a show for 10 years now with the great Dame Judi Dench, and she acknowledges that in the wings, in the dressing room before the show, she gets anxious. So, don't be embarrassed about it. You have been anxious before some of the shows, haven't you?

• 4:52Speaker 05

  I think I've been better than I thought I would be. I was anxious about being anxious. I thought I was going to be so anxious that I would just not be able to speak or something. You know, nothing would come out. Actually, I've been able to... I have been able to do it.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  What's...

• 5:10Speaker 05

  But I am anxious, yeah.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  But, yeah, you were anxious, as you're right to say, almost before it began.

• 5:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  You had real reservations about doing it at all because of your anxiety about doing it.

• 5:20Speaker 05

  And then I got some beta blockers.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  You did.

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Giles, maybe I shouldn't go on about this, but they do seem to work.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Did they help you? You were recommended those by one of our guests, weren't you?

• 5:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, Catlin Moran.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  She actually gave you some.

• 5:30Speaker 05

  She, yeah, when... So, she came on and after the show, she said a few very perceptive things about a number of subjects, but she talked about the menopause, she talked about doing shows, she talked about nerves. And she suddenly produced this packet of pills from her back pocket. I hope she doesn't mind me saying this. I mean, she had them on her, you know. She probably has them on her every day. And she said, "Oh, you need one of these." And I said, "What's that?" And she said, "Oh, it's a beta blocker, they're brilliant. Everyone I know that performs or does public speaking uses these." So, "No shame," she said.

• 6:10Speaker 05

  And she said, "Even if you just have them in your back pocket and never take one, they just give you that slight reassurance."

• 6:19Speaker 04

  I've known people who play musical instruments, particularly violin, cello. They take beta blockers because of the control of their hands.

• 6:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  I don't quite know what it does. It clearly blocks something.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  Whether it's called a beta blocker, it just sort of calms things down a bit.

• 6:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  And I don't think it affects your mental state.

• 6:35Speaker 05

  Well, I was worried it would because someone in my choir had taken one because they were singing a solo and they were nervous. So, that was the first person I was asking him. How was it? Are there any side... I wanted to know, are there any side effects? Because what you don't want, yeah, is to take something like that

• 6:52Speaker 04

  Feel woozy.

• 6:53Speaker 05

  and suddenly on stage feel either you're woozy or slightly lobotomized, you know, a bit not quite with it, or too relaxed. Because you do need to be... You know, the nerves are helpful, and all performers say that. You know, you need to be really on your uppers, and you need to be your best self, and you need the adrenaline, all that. I didn't want that to just completely disappear. So, I was kind of in this comatose state. Anyway, so I asked my friend in the choir, and he said, "Oh, yeah, you are quite relaxed." So, I was a bit unsure. But then Catlin Moran said, "Oh, no, no, no. It just takes the edge off and takes away the shakes, the jitters, the tummy butterflies, all that."

• 7:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, if my experience has anything to go by, it just calms you down a bit, yeah.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  But you had said that you were anxious. And of course, I have not actually. You're right, when you come onto the stage, there's no problem. There appears to be no problem at all. But you had said it. And we got an email, didn't we, from one of our listeners?

• 7:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 04

  Which was extraordinary. Tell everybody when this email arrived, who it was from, and the timing of its arrival, because it was quite uncanny.

• 8:04Speaker 05

  Yeah. So, I think it arrived when I was on the bus on the way to a rehearsal with you, about which I was feeling really nervous, and I was feeling quite down in the dumps and negative, and I can't do that. You know, I was saying all these awful things to myself about how I couldn't do it. God, I really have overshared on Rosebud about my self-doubt. I don't want people to think that I'm just really down on myself the whole time. I'm not. But this show has brought out some underlying issues, let's say.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Now, can I say something? I think you're very pulled together.

• 8:43Speaker 05

  Do you? I don't feel like that.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  You're very pulled together, but you have vulnerabilities.

• 8:46Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  That we all have vulnerabilities.

• 8:48Speaker 05

  Thank you, Giles.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  But, one of the interesting things about our show is that somebody came to see it called Selena Cadell, who is the sister of my best friend from school, Simon Cadell.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  Selena Cadell is also...

• 9:02Speaker 05

  Jeffrey from Heidi High.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  Absolutely. And Selena is an actress of some considerable distinction. She's just been in a play at Chichester, she's always working. And she was in Doc Martin for many years with Martin Cloone, playing the lady with the thing around her neck. Anyway, she's a marvelous actress and a director. She, in fact, directed The Hamlet that we saw, that Eddie Izzard is in, that's travelling around the country. She came to see our show, one of the tryouts, and she said, "It's the vulnerability of you both that is fascinating." People like vulnerability because it speaks of truth and humanity.

• 9:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  So, you shouldn't be frightened of your vulnerability. Everybody is vulnerable. But this was a vulnerability of yours, so...

• 9:47Speaker 05

  Giles, that's so... Thank you. That's very, very useful. And it's definitely, yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  But, I mean, the point is, we all have it.

• 9:53Speaker 05

  We do. So, anyway, this email. Yeah, so I was on the bus on the way into a rehearsal, and an email comes on my phone to the [email protected] address. And it was from someone that we'd heard from before, Gemma.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  That actually led to us involving her in the show. And she's actually now the choreographer for the show that we're opening in tomorrow night in Edinburgh. But she sent this extraordinary email. And I think it might be worth your while sharing some of the email with people because the advice she gave you rang true for me and might ring true for other people who are not just going to open a show on the Edinburgh Fringe this week, but might be giving a speech or appearing in a play or doing anything that requires control of nerves, control of anxiety. So, what did she say to you?

• 10:47Speaker 05

  Yes, it's all about nerves, this email, it's brilliant. "Hi, Harriet." I'm just listening to one of the episodes where you're talking about nerves. And I just wanted to say that I totally relate to those last minute nerves. Where your brain decides to try and sabotage you just before you go on. Or we should say that Gemma is a performer. She's a dancer and a performer, so she does go on stage quite a lot. And she also puts together shows and stuff. And I wanted to share a few of the things I do just before going on stage, which really make a difference to me. My nerves have got worse the older I've got. I'm thirty nine and still lucky enough to dance professionally.

• 11:32Speaker 05

  And I don't know if it's come from getting older and seeing younger dancers come in and be able to do stuff I can't do anymore. Or if being older automatically makes you think about the things that can go wrong. But I've definitely noticed the older I've got, the more I've had to battle the nerves. I think that's true for a lot of people. One thing I've learnt to do is to trust my body and mind. Especially if you get to a point where you know the material really well. My nerves can threaten to leave me blank on the stage and lose all the material. So now I don't go through the material too close to the performance. As this can leave you forgetting things due to the adrenaline and then panic sets in.

• 12:15Speaker 05

  So I'll go through the material in the morning when I'm calmer. And then I say to myself, I trust my body and mind. They both know exactly what to do. And this is true. Muscle memory will take you there and lines or lyrics will be ingrained. So let the memory do its job. That has really helped me.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Very good. Well, given our show is called Up Memory Lane, all this to do with memory is important. Muscle memory.

• 12:45Speaker 05

  So don't be reading the script just before you go on stage. It's in there, trust. This is the next bit of advice she gives us. Step away from imposter syndrome. This happens to everyone and can leave a dark seed of doubt in our minds. We have every right to be on stage, no matter our age, experience or ability. Imposter syndrome serves no purpose. So the second that dark seed threatens to sprout roots, I weed it out straight away.

• 13:25Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 13:26Speaker 05

  And I remind myself that no matter someone's experience in performance, there are always bad shows and always good shows. Some people will leave completely blown away and some people will leave questioning why they bothered. I have no control over this. In fact, it's none of my business what people's response will be to my performance. I can only control my experience and how I respond on stage. The rest is other people's responsibility and I find this quite freeing. I can go on, do my thing, ensure I enjoy it and the rest has nothing to do with me.

• 14:08Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  That's good, isn't it Giles?

• 14:11Speaker 04

  That is interesting.

• 14:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm hugely experienced, as you know, and you are not. We actually tell the audience, I mean, tomorrow will be the first time that you've begun as been in a play, a show for a month, ever, professionally on the stage. And she's telling you, you've got as much right to be there as I have. Who've been doing this for fifty years. You might think I'd be better given I've been doing it for so long.

• 14:41Speaker 05

  So there's one last tip. This, I really love this last bit. My last little tip that I use is to imagine time slowing down.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 14:53Speaker 05

  Adrenaline can cause us to rush and to not be in the moment. Causing our minds to be in the next section of the show and not fully embracing what we're doing that second. We are in charge on stage, not the audience. And imagining time slowing down and becoming malleable in our hands.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Oh, this is very good.

• 15:17Speaker 05

  Reminds me that the show moves on when I'm ready. This tends to take the edge off slightly for me and allows me to remember that the only person putting pressure on myself is me. That is so good Giles.

• 15:36Speaker 04

  Isn't it good? It's your space.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  I mean, that takes a lot of courage though. Because that's what you said. Who told you that? When they get louder, you get quieter. When they, the nervous, more nervous you get, the more you slow down.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  He told me exactly, you know, slow down. The rowdier they are, slow down. The noisier they get, quieter you go. But that you own the space, you're in charge. One of, obviously my childhood heroes was the great Solon Solivier, big actor in the twentieth century. And he on stage before, before the performance would go around the stage, familiarizing himself with it, touching the furniture, making sure it was his space. He owned the stage, he owned it. It's his.

• 16:24Speaker 05

  Wow. I mean, it takes, that's, that's alpha, that's alpha energy.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Maybe we should be doing that. Well, that's what we can do at our tech run this morning. We must actually make sure we go around the stage and own every bit of it.

• 16:37Speaker 05

  So this is the last, this is Gemma just saying goodbye now. I wish you all the luck in the show. We will be coming to Edinburgh to support you both. That's nice.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  That's lovely.

• 16:49Speaker 05

  Those nerves serve a really great purpose when channeled properly. And will give you that extra rush of magic. You are fantastic, Harriet, and we can't wait to see you do your thing. Oh.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  That's a lovely thing to say and you are fantastic, Harriet.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  Best wishes, Gemma.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  Very good.

• 17:07Speaker 05

  Oh, what a great email. Anyway, we've, we've spoken to Gemma, we've met Gemma, we've, we've given Gemma a hug. So we've said thank you, but.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  As a result of that letter and the advice and the timing of it, which was quite strange because you hadn't heard from her for months, had you?

• 17:21Speaker 05

  No.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  That came out of the blue.

• 17:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  Literally on the way to the, you adopted some of those and, and you found it, once we get on the stage, actually quite manageable.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  So you're not a bag of nerves. I don't think you're really a bag of nerves beforehand either, actually.

• 17:36Speaker 05

  No, I'm okay, yeah.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  I think it's, it's okay. So we got in touch with Gemma and said, you're a dancer. There are some musical numbers in the show. Come and help us stage them. We'd already staged them with our music director, Stefan Banajic, but she came and added her bit of woofer dust. So we are going to be here in Edinburgh until, oh, the end of the month. The last Sunday in the month of August.

• 18:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  Every day at four o'clock, come and see us, see what you think. And meet us afterwards and tell us, well, didn't seem to do you much good, all that fine advice. But it was good advice, wasn't it?

• 18:08Speaker 05

  Oh, it's brilliant advice. And I think it is useful for someone who's doing a best man's speech or, you know, we all dread those things, don't we?

• 18:17Speaker 04

  For some people, it's the most terrifying thing in the world.

• 18:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  To get up in front of other people.

• 18:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  For me, one of the things that you said there about you can't do anything about the audience. I, and I discussed this once with John Bishop in Edinburgh. A few years ago, we were both appearing in Edinburgh. We bumped into each other. And I told him, he said, how are you doing? I said, well, I'm sold out. I said, I'm sold out, except last night. He said, I know, there was one empty seat. I said, there was. He said, there was one empty seat for me too last night. You obsess the whole evening about why that person hasn't come. Why aren't they there? You concentrate on, and he said, the other thing you do, which is true. You see one person not laughing. And it completely unnerves you. You think, my, what have I done wrong? There's just one person, a theatre with a thousand people roaring. There's one person who isn't. And you then become obsessed with making that person laugh.

• 19:02Speaker 05

  Oh my goodness. So are you looking at individual people in the audience when you're on stage? Because I don't think I am.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Yes, I think I am. Well, you can only see the front few rows. But sometimes you can catch the eyes of people.

• 19:16Speaker 05

  I try not to.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  And of course, sometimes, maybe it's the age of my audiences. I find they've nodded off.

• 19:25Speaker 05

  That's nice, isn't it?

• 19:26Speaker 04

  But then you, exactly, what we want is an audience that ease with itself.

• 19:29Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  This is a show to come and snooze through.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  So what are you looking at when you look out? Are you looking sort of generally or are you looking, are you like staring at people?

• 19:39Speaker 04

  One of the things that I do do, I think now automatically, bear in mind, I have been doing this for fifty years.

• 19:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  And I've worked with some of the greatest people ever to appear on stage. Is I do look up and out.

• 19:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  And I do try to include the last row in everything I do. And I often, out of habit, even in a theatre that doesn't have a dress circle or a gallery, I play up to the dress circle or the gallery. Remembering the days when I played in theatres where I could only fill the stalls and then close the dress circle and the gallery because there was no one sitting up there. But to give the illusion there might be, you still play up to them. So I do do that. So I do, I do look out always.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  And make sure my eyes go everywhere. But you're doing that instinctively.

• 20:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it's hard, isn't it? Because you can't really see, you can just see lights.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  And, and that's why we're, that's why we're going to the tech in a moment. Because you know, I didn't realise this, the last tryout we did in London, at the old sorting office in Barnes, somebody said to me, you know Giles, when you were standing behind that table, we couldn't see you at all. You went into blacklist, you disappeared from the stage. Did you know that?

• 20:49Speaker 05

  No.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  And so there were great chunks when I was standing behind that table, which we have now moved actually. But when I was, well, apparently couldn't, my voice could be heard, but they couldn't see my face at all.

• 20:58Speaker 05

  Oh, that's a bit spooky.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. So we're going to make sure today that the lights are in order, that the sound is in order, that our props are where we want them to be.

• 21:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  And we might even do, we've got three hours there for the tech. We might even be able to do a quick run of the whole show.

• 21:12Speaker 05

  Hmm, hooray.

• 21:13Speaker 04

  Be quite nice. And then tomorrow we open. Hey.

• 21:16Speaker 05

  Hooray.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  We open. We're not going to be looking at the reviews, if there are any. We don't care.

• 21:22Speaker 05

  We will if they're good. If they're good, I'm going to print it out five thousand times on wallpaper in my bedroom with them. Or turn them into a dress or something.

• 21:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, if they're good.

• 21:32Speaker 05

  Yeah. If they're bad, no.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Don't think about them. I don't want to see them. Because funnily enough, you only think about the bad things. You become terribly self-conscious. And if, if anybody says to you, I like the way you did that line, you'll never do it as well again. Anybody points out to you, oh, the way you moved at that point, you can't do it again.

• 21:49Speaker 05

  Oh, interesting.

• 21:49Speaker 04

  Because then become self-conscious about it.

• 21:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 05

  Well, um, shall we do the diaries?

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 21:56Speaker 05

  Giles, I think we've talked about this show so much now, people must be getting bored of listening to us.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  Well, not everyone can get to it.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 22:02Speaker 04

  But we do want, come to see it, we hope you like doing it.

• 22:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  Come to see it, we hope you enjoy it. And if you do, let us know. And if you don't, well, forget it.

• 22:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, do not let us know if you don't like it.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  We're on my diaries and we're going back about fifty years here. And if we got to February nineteen seventy-eight.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  We have.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  I think we have, we've got to nineteen seventy-eight, the twenty-third of February. This is the year, oh my gosh, I'm about to turn thirty.

• 22:33Speaker 05

  Woo.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  So I'm not much younger than you are now, but it's still a long time ago.

• 22:42Speaker 05

  What are you talking about, Giles? You always shave about fifteen years of my age.

• 22:48Speaker 04

  I shave ten years of your age, which is as it should be. It's like when you mentioned the word menopausal earlier, I was going to chip in, perimenopausal.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  And I do know all about these things, as people will know, because I am this morning's

• 23:04Speaker 05

  Menopause ambassador.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  Thursday, the twenty-third of February nineteen seventy-eight. I began the day in Wellington, having done my best to wow them at the Reekin Ladies Circle Dinner last night. I may have succeeded. A charming lady, mid-thirties, very pretty, only a touch overweight, told me her husband was away if I felt like a nightcap.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  Oh, Giles.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  I reached.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  I reached Euston at ten fifteen a.m. I went straight to Capital Radio to do a children's book interview with jolly Maggie Norden, Dennis's daughter. Onto lunch at Rogantino's in Romilly Street with Peter Lavery from Hamlin Paperbacks and his new sidekick, Gail Reebuck. We talked about the books we're going to do with famous names attached, the cartoon books, the crosswords, the wine guide with Derek Nemo, et cetera. I'm hopeful.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  Welcome to two fifteen Maple Drive. We just put this property on the market.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Love the crown molding.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  Oh, wait until you see the walk-in closets and the bathroom tile.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Does it have Verizon FiOS? You know, one hundred percent fiber internet.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  No FiOS, but it looks like it's got cable. Let's check out the kitchen.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  No FiOS? Yeah, no, thank you.

• 24:30Speaker 00

  Don't you want to see the rest? Okay, bye-bye.

• 24:32Speaker 02

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• 24:38Speaker 06

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• 25:10Speaker 04

  Monday, the thirteenth of March nineteen seventy-eight. It's a horrible world out there. Arab terrorists have just killed forty Israelis who were sitting in a bus on a hillside. We visited the very spot when we were there. In Rawalpindi, where Ma was born, they look as if they're readying themselves to hang their former Prime Minister, Mr. Bhutto. In Northern Ireland, according to Michelle's friend Robert, who's in the army there, the violence is endemic. Fourteen killed in a restaurant the other day. Out there, it's horrible. But here, where I am, in London W eight, it's all rather cozy. Bennett's third birthday party went with a swing.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  Smarty Artie delivered the goods. Tomorrow, I'm taking Michelle in a new outfit to lunch at Mcuisine in Walton Street, followed by Bedroom Farse at the National Theatre. And today, I'm just in from coffee with Penelope Keith. Call me Penny, everybody does. She's such a decent sort and completely and utterly and exactly like Margot in The Good Life. I sat there, being docile like Jerry, while she gave me coffee and agreed to front one of our cartoon books.

• 26:24Speaker 05

  Oh, that's nice, Giles.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  It is nice. And think, I knew Penny Keith from then, nineteen seventy-eight, until this year, when she sadly died. And I, in fact, I went to the wonderful funeral and memorial service for her at Guildford Cathedral. Only last week.

• 26:42Speaker 05

  So how did you meet, you asked her to?

• 26:44Speaker 04

  I, what I was doing in publishing, and that's why I was meeting somebody like Gail Reebuck, who went on to become one of the biggest people in British publishing, maybe the world publishing, was I had the idea of, really, I built a small company where we created books and attached to them celebrity names. We were pioneers in this field. I became something that everybody was doing after a while. So I would get in touch with famous people like Penny Keith, who was famous for being in The Good Life. And I'd say, would you like to put your name to a book? This is the book we put your name to, and we'll give you a share of the royalties and some money in advance. And they said yes. And we did a whole range of books with famous people.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  So it gave me an excuse to meet interesting and famous people that I like the sound of and do business with them.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  Great.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  Tuesday, the fourth of April nineteen seventy-eight. This morning, I travelled up on the train from Cardiff with Lord George Brown. Our former Foreign Secretary, Glynnie, had no recollection of the drunken stupor he was in last night. He recalled having a drink with me in my room, but not crawling around my bed on all fours.

• 27:52Speaker 05

  What?

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. What was interesting was that though he drank copiously, I don't think he drank more than I did. But the effect on him was extraordinary.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  Woo.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  He is aware that he has a problem. He told me a story of being at the United Nations in New York and having to give a speech after lunch. He'd had a glass or two, but thought he was fine. And he was fine until just before he rose to speak, when he reached forward and picked out a grape from the arrangement of fruit that was the dining table centerpiece. He popped the grape in his mouth and bit into it. It was made of wax. He struggled to speak as he chewed on the wax grape, but the words came out all wrong. They thought I was drunk, of course, but I wasn't. And he wasn't drunk either on the night President Kennedy died, when he appeared on TV

• 28:45Speaker 04

  in what appeared to be a state of alcoholic confusion. I was emotional, of course I was. Jack Kennedy was my friend.

• 28:54Speaker 04

  Boldly, I asked him for the truth about the famous story of him at an official reception at the British Embassy in Lima, approaching a vision in scarlet as the band struck up and requesting the honour of the next dance, only for the vision to turn to him and say, Mr. Brown, I will not dance with you for three reasons. One, you are drunk. Two, this is the national anthem of Peru. And three, I'm the Cardinal Archbishop of Montevideo.

• 29:23Speaker 05

  Is that true?

• 29:24Speaker 04

  True story.

• 29:25Speaker 05

  Oh, that's a great story.

• 29:26Speaker 04

  True and well-known story, but as you'll see from my diary, George Brown denied it absolutely. Said he'd never been to South America, but was almost sorry there was nothing in it because it's such a good story. I like him.

• 29:39Speaker 05

  Oh, that's a fun story.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  And I did like him, and as you'll see, Michelle and I became friends of his and his wife Sophie. This afternoon at two P M. at Atlantic House, Hoban Viaduct, I attended the official receivers creditors meeting, Reece Simon Clark. We won the case, but will not get a penny. There's nothing there, but we have equity on our side as well. Simon Clark will not work as a producer in this country again, and I have the feeling he may die young. Michelle's friend Veronica tells the story of seeing Simon Clark's father swimming out to a boat she was on in the Mediterranean, holding a tray of drinks aloft as he swam. Halfway there, he had a stroke, sank and died.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  As our friend Noel Davis likes to say, God is not mocked. Happier news, one, Simon Cadell has a new girlfriend, Stephanie Turner. She has a pointy nose and comes from Bradford, but even so, we like her. Two, we're about to take Bennett on his first ride on Tonka at long last. Three, I'm getting to grips with the nineteen seventy-five seventy-six income tax at long last, sort of. Sunday, the thirtieth of April nineteen seventy-eight.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  My son has ridden alone on his pony for the first time. Bennett on Tonka was a lovely sight to see. Being a father isn't bad, and we had a McDonald's picnic afterwards. Whatever they say, I love a quarter pounder with cheese and I adore the fries. Mrs. Power, my new part-time secretary, is a huge success. She is small, trim, spruce, a neat little body, who lives in Shepherd's Bush with her husband and two boys, and comes to me to collect tapes, takes them away and brings back the work, all done up in a folder. It's my kind of relationship, we barely need to meet. Went for a drink with James Mickey.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  Oh, James Mickey was an English poet. Really, he was quite eccentric, and I think he was then working for the publisher of Bodley Head. Went for a drink with James Mickey at eighty-four Eaton Terrace. He's a poet, translator, an editor, whose authors include Sylvia Plath, Anthony Burgess, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, and now me. I'm doing a book about darts for him. I know nothing about darts, so it's a bit of a trial. He's hugely amiable, tells funny stories about W. H. Auden, loves my children's names, he has a son called Drogo. But, my dear, his home is a pigsty.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  He led me down into the basement, clambering over manuscripts piled higgledy-piggledy on the stairs, charming, into a dark and dusty kitchen where there was nowhere to sit and the sink was piled high with a month's supply of filthy pots and pans, not charming. He gave me a glass of wine, and I tried to drink it without letting my lips touch the edge of the glass. Tuesday, the twenty-third of May nineteen seventy-eight. I'm in my room at the Beverly Hotel Cardiff. The light from the single bulb in the ceiling is so dim, I can barely see to write. I'm just in from supper with Lady Isabel Barnett and Winford Vaughan Thomas.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  Isabel and I get on so well, she's one of my favorite people, but always instantly at ease with one another. That is so rare for me that I even forgive her her non-stop smoking.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  I'd just like to say, Harriet, she really was a lovely person. Have you heard of her even?

• 33:26Speaker 05

  No.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  She was a doctor and a JP. She became very well known as a radio and television personality in the nineteen fifties. And she took her own life shortly after being caught shoplifting from her village store.

• 33:39Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  Isn't that heartbreaking when she was only sixty-two?

• 33:42Speaker 05

  Oh dear.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  And she was one of the loveliest people I've ever known. And she, obviously, she was born in nineteen eighteen, so she was thirty years older than me. She was very glamorous, very attractive. We got on just so easily. She treated me like a normal person. And...

• 34:01Speaker 05

  That's so sweet. I try and treat you like a normal person.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  Well, can I say, I feel I get on with you as easily as I got on with her.

• 34:10Speaker 05

  Oh, but can I just ask, that's so terrible. What happened? Why do you think she did that shoplifting? And why did she then feel so bad that she took her own life?

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Well, she was a pillar of respectability.

• 34:24Speaker 05

  Right.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  She was Lady Isabel Barnett. She was a GP.

• 34:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:29Speaker 04

  She was a professional woman, as well as a JP.

• 34:32Speaker 05

  A doctor and a magistrate.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  Justice of the peace, yes. She had a position in society. She was seen as a lady.

• 34:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  She was a household name in the country in the nineteen fifties, nineteen sixties.

• 34:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  And very glamorous. So she had a real position to uphold.

• 34:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  I'm not sure what her marital state was. I can't remember that. I did go to her home. She smoked all the time. I think towards the end of her life, she was lonely. I then, I wasn't then, we joke about it, a menopause ambassador. I don't know what was happening in her head, in her body at that time. I seem to remember there was a son who may have had problems as well. A biography was written of her that I did read. There are things in her life that weren't easy.

• 35:21Speaker 05

  So she may have been having some kind of breakdown.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  She was having a breakdown. And she had been stealing repeatedly from the village shop. And it was discovered that she had what is called a poacher's coat. And she was doing this as a habit. Now, was this seeking attention? Was it a cry for help? I think the shop had warned her before, and she was eventually caught. And I think she was tried. I think she was sentenced to some non-custodial thing. And I'm afraid it was front page news in every newspaper. She was a household name. She was as well-known and as much loved, in a way, as somebody like Mary Berry. It was that sort of status she had in the country. And, but also, it was a different age, and there was much more

• 36:06Speaker 04

  snobbery and deferential. She was seen to be a lady, and a person of position. In Leicestershire where she lived, she probably was a deputy lieutenant. She may even have been the high sheriff. She was that sort of a person. And it was such a fall from grace for her. She couldn't cope with it. And she took her own life. It's a devastating story.

• 36:26Speaker 05

  It sounds as if she might have been having some sort of manic episode, you know, that sort of behaviour, shoplifting, or some people go on mad spending sprees, or they're unfaithful or promiscuous. You know, it's, maybe she was having...

• 36:43Speaker 04

  I would like, I tell you, I loved her so much. I would like, I've got a biography of her at home. And I'm going to do a little bit of research about her. And we might talk about her another day to celebrate her.

• 36:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  Because here, we've been talking about the sadness of it. But also, look at that. Isabel and I get on so well. She's one of my favourite people, you know? And this is only two years before she takes her own life.

• 37:07Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  And yet she was so nice to me.

• 37:09Speaker 05

  Such a sad story. I'm so sorry that happened to her.

• 37:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 05

  And she didn't have anyone to help her. That's really sad. Yeah.

• 37:15Speaker 04

  Anyway.

• 37:18Speaker 05

  Yeah. It's made me think a bit of Anne Widdicombe somehow. Sorry. It's just what you say about her being a pillar of society and...

• 37:28Speaker 04

  But the thing with Anne Widdicombe is Anne Widdicombe was a happy and fulfilled person.

• 37:31Speaker 05

  Yeah. No, and she didn't take her own life. She was murdered.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  She was murdered. Whereas, there's a kind of different, I think this is a very different tragedy.

• 37:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  I'd love, if I may, to do a bit of homework. And maybe the next time we do diaries, I'll come and tell you a bit more about her and fill out the story a bit more.

• 37:50Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, R I P Lady Isabel Barnett.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  And actually, anybody who's listening who's in my vintage, maybe drop us a line to remind people of Harriet's generation and younger people, what a special person she was in our society. She was one of those people that everybody liked and respected.

• 38:08Speaker 05

  Hmm. That's very sad.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  And you can see, I obviously did love her. That is so rare a thing for me, that I even forgive her her non-stop smoking. You see, she smoked all the time. Absolutely all the time.

• 38:18Speaker 05

  Was another sign of someone that's maybe a bit unhappy.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  And she was incredibly thin. I remember that. And very elegant.

• 38:24Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  The other person I was with was Winford Vaughan Thomas. Winford Vaughan Thomas is a wily Welsh windbag, but good value. He told a story tonight that he swears is true. As a young reporter for the BBC in the late nineteen thirties, he was sent to interview the former Prime Minister David Lloyd George. He arrived at the great man's hotel and was sent up to his room. He knocked. "Come", commanded Lloyd George. Vaughan Thomas entered, and he found the old goat sitting up in bed, naked, with a couple of tarts either side of him, breasts exposed. Lloyd George was utterly unabashed, and recorded the interview

• 39:07Speaker 04

  where he was, how he was. Vaughan Thomas hurried back to the BBC with his recording equipment and told his editor what had happened. "Just give me the tape, boy", he ordered, "and keep quiet about the rest".

• 39:23Speaker 04

  Winford Vaughan Thomas, Harriet, was a very distinguished BBC reporter for many years. Famous during the Second World War as one of the BBC's war correspondents. There is no reason why you should have invented that story about David Lloyd George, the famous, distinguished liberal Prime Minister.

• 39:44Speaker 05

  Gosh, people got away with murder in those days, didn't they?

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Yes. I don't know. Does anyone come out of it badly? I'm not sure that they do. Well, maybe they do. I don't know.

• 39:54Speaker 05

  I mean, it's just, I don't know, maybe this sort of thing's going on all around us now, but just life seemed so much more colourful.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  It did seem colourful. And I love the fact that he went back, he was a young reporter, and told his editor, you know, "I've just seen Lloyd George in bed with a couple of girls".

• 40:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, the Prime Minister.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  Well, he was a former Prime Minister, sorry there. But even so, it would have been a story. I don't think you'd get away with that now.

• 40:15Speaker 05

  No. And the editor says, "Don't mention it, darling".

• 40:18Speaker 04

  Give me the interview. We'll use the interview. But also, the boldness of Lloyd George, giving his views about the result of the general election with these two comely girls.

• 40:26Speaker 05

  With their paps out?

• 40:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:28Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  We shouldn't perhaps be laughing.

• 40:34Speaker 05

  If you're one of those two girls, please get in touch.

• 40:37Speaker 04

  Yes, we will treat you with the respect that is your due.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  Absolutely. Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 00

  Welcome to Two Fifteen Maple Drive. We just put this property on the market.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Love the crown moulding.

• 40:59Speaker 00

  Oh, wait until you see the walk-in closets and the bathroom tile.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Does it have Verizon FiOS? You know, one hundred percent fibre internet?

• 41:06Speaker 00

  No FiOS, but it looks like it's got cable. Let's check out the kitchen.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  No FiOS? Yeah, no, thank you.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Don't you want to see the rest? Okay. Bye-bye.

• 41:16Speaker 02

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• 41:50Speaker 03

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• 42:24Speaker 04

  Tuesday, the 4th of July, 1978. I'm just in from my first driving lesson. It's a nightmare, but I must and will do it. My instructor has already suggested I simply learn to drive an automatic. I've said no. I'm going the whole hog, however long it takes. He thinks it may take some years.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  You know, I was now, I was 30.

• 42:50Speaker 05

  And you still haven't passed your test, Giles.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  And I still haven't passed my test.

• 42:52Speaker 05

  No, no, I mean, you still haven't passed your test.

• 42:55Speaker 04

  Oh, you are so unfair, Harriet Jane. I'm now, I think, quite a good driver, but it was a nightmare.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  Yesterday...

• 43:05Speaker 05

  You know, everyone thinks they're a good driver, don't you?

• 43:07Speaker 04

  I didn't know that.

• 43:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  I didn't. Do they?

• 43:10Speaker 05

  I mean, I haven't got the data, but I think most people, if asked, would say they were a good driver. And all the evidence shows most people aren't a good driver. But who knows?

• 43:25Speaker 04

  Who knows?

• 43:25Speaker 05

  Maybe you're a good driver, Giles. I've never seen you drive.

• 43:29Speaker 04

  Yesterday, we went to Norland Place School again. It is the school for Bennett. We've seen several. It's a nightmare. How do you choose? We were seriously tempted by Hill House, but the self-consciously eccentric headmaster is a touch elderly now, and the uniform is ludicrous, and it's a bit too far to get to. But Norland Place is perfect. Sane down the road. And the Lost Boys went there. Who could ask for anything more? Only problem, no room. We should have put Bennett down the minute he was born. Seriously, we didn't. And consequently, he's way, way down the waiting list. I did my best to flutter my eyelids at Mrs. Garnsey, headmistress. She said, "There was very little hope."

• 44:12Speaker 04

  I said, "Never mind, I'll keep badgering you." She said, "You do that, Mr. Brandreth, keep badgering." So I did. Yesterday afternoon, I went to Harold's toy department and at vast expense bought a huge, soft, cuddly toy Badger. I delivered it to the school in person. The school secretary has just called. Bennett starts in September. Yes!

• 44:41Speaker 04

  Tuesday, the 18th.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  Harriet is shaking her head in disbelief and maybe disgust that I should try and jump the queue by giving the headmistress the gift of a Badger. Tuesday, the 18th of July, 1978. This morning at 5:00 a.m., Michelle said, "I've got to go. I've phoned for a taxi. This is our third child. I'll be driving by the time we have our sixth. I know I will." We raced to the Middlesex Hospital, and at 11:05 a.m., our lovely little baby girl, Afra Kendall Alice Brandreth, was born. I nearly fainted. When Bennett was born, it was all so serious. I was kept out of the room. When Cytherid arrived, I was there and almost useful.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Well, I kept saying, "Keep breathing." But this morning, I was overcome. Seeing Michelle in such pain, all the sweating and pushing. A nurse wheeled me into an adjacent room to recover. I was back for the birth, the arrival of our little scrap covered in blood and squawking. She's here, and she's healthy, and all's well with the world. Afra is named in honour of Mrs. Afra Benn, the first woman to earn her living as a writer. And Michelle's mother, Kendall, and Ma, Alice. We want happiness all round. I'm keeping today's newspaper to put in a time capsule for my girl, though I can't pretend today is a hot day for news.

• 46:12Speaker 04

  The headlines: "West Germany and Japan agree to boost economic expansion." "Police get rises of up to 45%." "Mrs. Thatcher urges ending aid to Russia unless behaviour improves." She's doing well. And on the inside pages, there's plenty of speculation about the election and the prospects for Thatcher versus Callaghan. Today's birthdays lists no one I've heard of. Sir Ivo Sturtin, Sir John Partridge, Sir Robert Steed. But on the front page, there's this. Nelson Mandela is 60. The undisputed leader of South Africa's blacks who wish to free themselves from white domination

• 46:55Speaker 04

  is serving a life sentence on Robben Island. And apparently, 10,000 birthday cards have been sent to him from the UK.

• 47:06Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  Fascinating.

• 47:07Speaker 05

  That is fascinating.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Later, I was to encounter Nelson Mandela, and indeed, visited the prison at Robben Island. Have you been to South Africa?

• 47:15Speaker 05

  No, I'd love to.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  If ever you go to Cape Town, do go to Robben Island. It really is fascinating, very moving. And when we went, which was many years ago, obviously after Mandela was released, the people who showed you around were former prisoners themselves.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  Oh, gosh.

• 47:32Speaker 04

  Really riveting.

• 47:33Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Is that where we're finishing? With the birth of my daughter Afra, who is now the Member of Parliament for Chester South and Eddisbury.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  Woohoo!

• 47:42Speaker 04

  Bless her.

• 47:43Speaker 05

  Of course, you're really churning out the children at this point.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  Churning out the children.

• 47:47Speaker 05

  Giles, I didn't even know Michelle was pregnant and suddenly for the...

• 47:50Speaker 04

  Churn, churn. Yeah. Well, the point is, this is not every extract from the diary.

• 47:56Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  Because this is edited highlights, the golden moments.

• 48:00Speaker 05

  So you edited out the night of Afra's conception?

• 48:04Speaker 04

  Concepcion?

• 48:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  Edited out, yes. There is, as you know, a separate diary that you...

• 48:11Speaker 05

  Oh, the X-rated.

• 48:13Speaker 04

  The X-rated diary.

• 48:15Speaker 05

  Has that got Afra's conception in it?

• 48:18Speaker 04

  Who knows?

• 48:18Speaker 05

  Who knows? Maybe it was a virgin birth, Giles. They do happen.

• 48:22Speaker 04

  They do have. And given the special nature of Afra, indeed, all three of our children, the conception could well have been immaculate. I like to feel that it was.

• 48:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:33Speaker 04

  You've either got, or you haven't got style.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  Can you remember the conception of your children?

• 48:40Speaker 05

  Gosh, that is a question. I think I can, actually. Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 48:47Speaker 05

  The two times that I have had sex.

• 48:50Speaker 04

  Had sex.

• 48:51Speaker 05

  Yeah. Both very, very memorable.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  Good.

• 48:54Speaker 05

  Wonderful times.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  Can I say, well, the three times we used the pipette for the conception of my three children, the question is, who was the father? Yay! Enough of this nonsense. We're joking, or are we joking? That's what you listeners can ponder between now and next week. Well, there we go. So that's it for this week's diaries.

• 49:15Speaker 05

  It is.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  Do we have an email? We had one at the top of the show, did we?

• 49:18Speaker 05

  We did have one at the top of the show. We had one from Gemma O'Connor all about rehearsals and performances.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  So back to rehearsal, back to performance. Thank you so much for listening to Rosebud. This Friday, I think we may have one of my favourite actors. Lots of people have asked for this actor. Shall we tell them who we think it may be is coming up soon?

• 49:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  Martin Clunes.

• 49:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  One of the most requested guests. People have said, "Oh, we'd love Martin Clunes," because they loved Doc Martin. They loved, was it Men Behaving Badly? What was it?

• 49:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I love that show. Lot of fun.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  They love his work. And been looking to see what he's really like, you know? So...

• 49:59Speaker 05

  Charming, I imagine.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  I hope so.

• 50:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:02Speaker 04

  We've never had anyone who wasn't charming, have we? Have we had anyone behave badly, rudely? No, I think we have.

• 50:07Speaker 05

  The only person that behaves badly around here is me.

• 50:10Speaker 04

  No. You're marvelous. Okay. I'm just gonna put it on record. I love you, Harriet. You can put that out if you want or not, depending on how you feel. Anyway, I think you're fantastic.

• 50:22Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 50:22Speaker 04

  So...

• 50:23Speaker 05

  Harriet Behaving Badly, that's a new hit series that's coming out soon.

• 50:28Speaker 04

  Oh, we might do the pilot for that now. Seriously. Can I shake my hand there, Harriet? Shake my hand, shake my hand. Thank you. Well done. A good... There we are. So that's it for this week's diaries. We'll be back with more diaries in a couple of weeks' time. We do the diaries every other week, but occasionally, we slip in an extra interview. So if it's not completely as you'd expect, that's because we like to surprise people. As advice given by the great Noel Card, playwright, to aspiring performers, be like a rabbit. Keep coming out of a different hole. Surprise your audience. Boom! That's it.

• 51:07Speaker 05

  Gosh.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  That's it from Rosebud. Till next time, cue the music.

• 51:12Speaker 05

  Complaints to [email protected]. If anyone had a heart attack then, it's not my fault, it's Giles.

• 52:20Speaker 00

  Welcome to 215 Maple Drive. We just put this property on the market.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Love the crown molding.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  Oh, wait until you see the walk-in closets and the bathroom tile.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Does it have Verizon FiOS? You know, 100% fiber internet.

• 52:34Speaker 00

  No FiOS, but it looks like it's got cable. Let's check out the kitchen.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  No FiOS? Yeah, no thank you.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  Don't you want to see the rest? Okay, bye-bye.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Get Verizon FiOS, because when you're moving, it's 100% or nothing.

• 52:49Speaker 06

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