Blind and Alone on Top of the World

In 2011, mountaineer Brian Dickinson is attempting to scale his fourth major peak in just three years. It’s the turn of Mount Everest, as the navy veteran takes on the tallest of them all. But after the triumph of reaching the summit, Brian’s whole world suddenly turns white and his life hangs in the balance. When prolonged sun exposure bleaches his corneas, he’s unable to see. All alone, with no means of communication and no chance of rescue, he is going to have to overcome Everest again… and this time he’ll be doing it blind… A Noiser podcast production. Hosted by John Hopkins. Written by Rhys Bevan | Produced by Ed Baranski | Assistant Producer: Luke Lonergan | Production Assistant: Chris McDonald | Exec produced by Joel Duddell | Sound Supervisor: Matt Peaty | Sound design by Jacob Booth | Assembly edit by Rob Plummer | Compositions by Oliver Baines, Dorry Macaulay, Tom Pink | Mix & mastering: Ralph Tittley. For ad-free listening, bonus material and early access to new episodes, join Noiser+. Click the subscription banner at the top of the feed to get started. Or go to noiser.com/subscriptions If you have an amazing survival story of your own that you’d like to put forward for the show, let us know. Drop us an email at [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00John Hopkins?

  It is late morning on the 15th of May 2011.

• 0:05John Hopkins?

  Soaring above the clouds, 29,000 feet above sea level, the famous triangular peak of Mount Everest gleams bright white in the morning sun.

• 0:15John Hopkins?

  This is the highest point of our planet, a whopping nine kilometers up into the sky.

• 0:22John Hopkins?

  Everest's historic Tibetan name, Chomolungma, means "Mother Goddess of the World." The sky is a clear cerulean blue, and the white-gold daylight illuminates a scene of snow and stone and peaceful emptiness. Today, the ridges and rock faces of the topmost section of the mountain, the upper 3,000 feet known as the "death zone," are strangely devoid of climbers.

• 0:48John Hopkins?

  This hotspot is often overburdened with individuals keen to reach the world's highest point, but right now, it stands quietly, gloriously empty.

• 0:59John Hopkins?

  Well, almost.

• 1:03John Hopkins?

  Just beneath the summit, inching along a razor-thin ridge, a solo climber makes his way back down the mountain.

• 1:11John Hopkins?

  He is edging along the famous "cornice traverse," a thin crest of ice with deadly stomach-churning drops on either side. Were he to fall, it could be 10,000 feet, or nearly two miles, before his body came to rest.

• 1:28John Hopkins?

  But that isn't the only reason this climber is being particularly cautious and setting a particularly slow pace. Right now, his every tiny movement is laden with terror.

• 1:40John Hopkins?

  For although 36-year-old Brian Dickinson has just completed the historic solo ascent of Everest, he is now, suddenly, in terrible peril.

• 1:51John Hopkins?

  He isn't injured, he hasn't lost any equipment, it's something worse than that.

• 1:57John Hopkins?

  Right now, Brian cannot see.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  About, I don't know, 10, 15 feet into my descent, everything just went completely white, and I went snowblind.

• 2:09John Hopkins?

  Brian is having to do everything by touch. He feels his way along the rope left by previous climbers, digging his feet in just enough to anchor himself without destabilizing the compacted snow.

• 2:23John Hopkins?

  Suddenly, his hands begin to move differently. The ground is flattening, then rising upwards, which is good news. It'll be safer to climb up in this state than down.

• 2:36John Hopkins?

  Brian starts to haul himself gradually up the south summit, a secondary peak he's already scaled once this morning coming the other way.

• 2:46John Hopkins?

  He pauses at the top, breathing in and out, oxygenating his blood as best he can in the thinnest atmosphere on Earth.

• 2:54John Hopkins?

  He turns his head, squinting, trying to pick out patches of darker rock against the sea of white in his vision, but it's no good.

• 3:03John Hopkins?

  He feels around for another handhold, something to grip onto before beginning his descent of the south summit. And then, as he makes his move, the world seems to disappear beneath his feet.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Took one step and just slipped out, and I was just head over heels, just falling. And that was the scariest thing I've still ever felt in my life. It's like, go to your roof, close your eyes, and jump off. It's just, it's so helpless.

• 3:37John Hopkins?

  Ever wondered what you would do when disaster strikes? If your life depended on your next decision, could you make the right choice? Welcome to Real Survival Stories. These are the astonishing tales of ordinary people thrown into extraordinary situations, people suddenly forced to fight for their lives.

• 3:57John Hopkins?

  In this episode, we meet 36-year-old amateur mountaineer Brian Dickinson. In 2011, Brian is attempting to scale his fourth major peak in just three years. The Navy veteran is taking on the highest mountain in each of the seven continents. And in May 2011, it's the turn of Mount Everest, the tallest of them all. By mid-morning, Brian has achieved something very few climbers have: a true solo ascent. But then, seemingly from nowhere, his whole world turns white, and his life hangs in the balance.

• 4:31John Hopkins?

  When prolonged sun exposure bleaches his corneas, Brian's vision suddenly disappears. He must feel his way alone, with no means of communication and no possibility of rescue, back down to the nearest camp. He's going to have to overcome Everest again, and this time he'll be doing it blind.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  I remember thinking, I'm at the highest point in the world, I'm completely alone, I'm blind, and no one's coming to get me. There was 99.999% chance I was gonna die. I had to figure out a reason to survive.

• 5:08John Hopkins?

  I'm John Hopkins. From the Noiser Podcast Network, this is Real Survival Stories.

• 5:40John Hopkins?

  It's early morning on April 3, 2011.

• 5:44John Hopkins?

  In the mountain town of Lukla, in the Koshi province of northeastern Nepal, the alpine songbirds are finding their voice in the blue light of dawn.

• 5:53John Hopkins?

  The town itself still seems half-asleep. The peaceful scene is only punctured by faint but persistent buzzing sound. A tiny passenger plane hovers into view before dropping down abruptly to land at Lukla's Tenzing Hilary Airport.

• 6:11John Hopkins?

  Aboard the Yeti Airlines Twin Otter airplane, 36-year-old Brian Dickinson exhales relieved. That was an interesting landing.

• 6:22John Hopkins?

  This 500-meter strip of tarmac is too short for conventional aircraft. Tenzing Hilary Airport, carved into the mountains with soaring peaks on every side and a runway that appears to plunge off a cliff, has the unenviable title of the most dangerous airport in the world.

• 6:41John Hopkins?

  But with the plane landing safely, the first stage of Brian's adventure is ticked off the list.

• 6:48John Hopkins?

  Minutes later, he steps down from the aircraft and lifts his head to admire the glorious Himalayas all around him. An excited grin appears on his face. It's happening. But he has a long journey ahead.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  It's 38 miles on foot to get to Everest Base Camp, which is at 17,500 feet. So, just Base Camp alone, it's a long ways in, it's up there, and you can have altitude issues just getting to Base Camp.

• 7:17John Hopkins?

  Everest's lowest camp sits more than three miles above sea level. The UK's highest mountain, Ben Nevis, is about a quarter of that height.

• 7:28John Hopkins?

  The air at Base Camp contains 50% less oxygen per breath than the air at sea level. So those 38 miles on foot can be slow-going. But with his kit on his back and his head down, Brian tackles it one step at a time.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  It takes about a week and a half, but this is a time when you're just immersed with Sherpa, which are the local people that live there in Nepal and Tibet, and just going through their villages, living with them, and just amazing people. And you're in the Himalayas. Like, you're walking through these areas on these cliffs that are just dropping down, crossing these suspension bridges, yaks, you know, helping carry stuff, and it's just, it's amazing. You just see God's great earth, it just really gives you perspective, and that was awesome.

• 8:22John Hopkins?

  After several days of hiking up through snow-covered valleys and via colorful mountainside villages, Brian finally arrives at Base Camp.

• 8:31John Hopkins?

  It's a wide, rock-strewn plateau with snow-dappled slopes all around. The air is cold, thin, and incredibly fresh.

• 8:41John Hopkins?

  While here, Brian stops to take part in a puja ceremony with the Sherpa.

• 8:47John Hopkins?

  The ritual, performed by a spiritual leader within Tibetan Buddhism, is traditional before an ascent.

• 8:54John Hopkins?

  In the ceremony, the mountain goddess is beseeched for permission, protection, and safe return.

• 9:01John Hopkins?

  But even as Brian enjoys the ritual, something is bothering him. An acute pain started to form behind his eyes.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  It's like a vice on your head, it's horrible. I didn't know if I was having, like, acute mountain sickness or what the deal was, but I ended up staying one night, and it was like one of the worst nights ever at Base Camp.

• 9:22John Hopkins?

  On his first morning in Base Camp, Brian wakes up in agony.

• 9:27John Hopkins?

  He resolves to do something about it, deciding to head back down to a lower altitude to see if that improves his condition.

• 9:35John Hopkins?

  There is a village called Dingboche, about 3,000 feet below, which seems like a good place to try to recuperate. So with his head pounding, Brian gathers his gear, heaves on his pack, and hikes out.

• 9:48John Hopkins?

  Every step is an ordeal. The searing pain in his head only adds to the full-body exhaustion of trekking at altitude.

• 9:57John Hopkins?

  Brian massages his forehead with his fingers, feeling for a swelling, a sign of high-altitude cerebral edema, a potentially fatal condition.

• 10:07John Hopkins?

  When he finally reaches Dingboche, the air thickens, and Brian can feel his blood oxygenating.

• 10:14John Hopkins?

  But his illness persists. Noticing his condition, a Sherpa recommends a local remedy: pure garlic soup from the tea house.

• 10:24John Hopkins?

  It's a pungent, steamy brew, but Brian slurps it down while staring forlornly at the wooden tabletop.

• 10:32John Hopkins?

  He just hopes this works. He can't turn back now. He's come too far.

• 10:42John Hopkins?

  Brian grew up in the eighties in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. His was a challenging childhood.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  As a kid, didn't have like the healthiest situation, you know, dealt with a lot of abuse and trauma. Saw things that, you know, kids shouldn't necessarily have to experience. But I've never been one to camp in those experiences. I've been always the one to move forward.

• 11:10John Hopkins?

  The great outdoors was always an escape for Brian. He was an adventurous youth and living in the mountains of Southern Oregon was always hiking, biking, or wild swimming. Brian's ultimate goal was to get out of his small town and explore the world. But the year before he graduated, he got himself in trouble.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Did a little time, stole some computers from a school and did a little heist and, you know, turned myself in because it's a small town and it's gonna happen anyways. Did a weekend in juvie and served my time. And I don't know, there's a time of reflection of, wow, I could really end up going a bad route.

• 11:48John Hopkins?

  It was a turning point for the young man. Brian's father, brother, and grandfather had all served in the Navy. A ready-made solution for the troubled kid who needed discipline and who wanted to see the world.

• 12:03John Hopkins?

  Soon, Brian was leafing through the Blue Jackets manual, the basic handbook for US Navy personnel since 1902. He was searching for inspiration when he saw a picture that made him pause.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  There's one page where a guy's jumping out of a helicopter, rescuing someone. I'm like, oh, that looks cool. So let's go do that. Then from there, just went through all the training.

• 12:26John Hopkins?

  Brian wanted to become an aviation rescue swimmer. The selection process was tough with a 60% dropout rate and a brutal training regime designed to test extreme physical fitness, water competency, and calmness under stress. Brian threw himself in at the deep end. But then in the middle of his training, he received some devastating news from home.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Like I said, my situation at home wasn't great. The one thing that was, was my grandpa, who lived across the creek from me. And he was my father figure. He was just really there for me. During rescue swimmer school, two weeks in, he ended up attempting suicide, shot himself. And I had to take emergency leave and, you know, come home.

• 13:17John Hopkins?

  Brian's grandfather had very recently lost his wife and then subsequently fallen very ill himself. Wired up in hospital, nearing the end, Brian's hero had a final piece of advice for his grandson.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  I remember the last thing he ever said was that he was proud of me and do what you have to do and be the best at what you do. And that was the last thing I remember him ever saying.

• 13:44John Hopkins?

  This October, on the Noiser Podcast Network, Real Dictators returns. We're in the Dominican Republic for the story of Rafael Trujillo. On Short History of, we'll uncover the secrets of the Hoover Dam and follow Mary Shelley, the creator of Frankenstein and his monster. On Real Survival Stories, a modern Viking adventure as a replica Norse vessel embarks on a daring voyage across the North Sea and a man is struck blind all alone at the very top of the world. In Jane Austen Stories, Emma continues with Dame Julie Andrews. And in Sherlock Holmes' short stories, Holmes and Watson unpick an epic mystery of hidden treasure and murder in The Sign of Four. Get all of these shows and more

• 14:28John Hopkins?

  early and ad-free on Noiser Plus.

• 14:34John Hopkins?

  Brian completed training and spent his next years on the USS Constellation, an aircraft carrier twice deployed to the Persian Gulf. It was a life of rescue operations and medical evacuations, of vigor and excitement. But by the late nineties, things were about to change for Brian again.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  In 1998, was on a Navy soccer team. A week before I got out, snapped my ACL. Had to extend a full year for surgery. So I couldn't fly, couldn't do my job or anything else. I was just like hanging out. So it was at that time I got into the high-tech industry. Worked at the Space and Naval Warfare, was doing networking and server computer work. And that's kind of where my career pivoted. Ended up finishing my bachelor's and then my master's, my MBA in technology management, working for high-tech industries in the Pacific Northwest.

• 15:33John Hopkins?

  Quite suddenly, Brian had switched careers. He also met his wife, Joanna. They started a family and settled down. After so much drama, it was a calm, comfortable life, but something was missing.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  It's interesting when you're wired a certain way and you live a lifestyle specifically military. I mean, you're ready to jump on a grenade for someone. There's just the camaraderie, there's the, the training, there's just the intensity of what you do and the purpose. And then you get out and you're sitting behind a desk. And it's, it's difficult. And I realized, like, I'm wired for adventure. And I had that adventure gap and I decided to fill it.

• 16:20John Hopkins?

  Having enjoyed climbing from an early age, one day Brian decided to summit Mount Rainier, a peak close to his home in Washington State. But while preparing for the ascent, a friend mentioned the Seven Peaks. This challenge, which involved climbing the highest mountain in each of the seven continents, instantly appealed to Brian. He could push himself to his limits and travel the world. It was perfect. Though he got off to a rocky start.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  The first on my list was Denali. So Denali is the highest peak in North America, 20,000 feet. And it's, it's up in Alaska. And I was up there for a three-week expedition and we were pinned down at high camp at 16,000 feet. And one climber came through, ditched his, his group. He got blown off the top. They still haven't found his body. But we were stuck. The weather was not good. We finally had just a small break. We went up, got within a thousand feet from the summit and turned back. It was the right choice. I've still never stood on top. And I think that's a part of my story, is it's okay to

• 17:31Speaker 01

  fall short. Like you can kill yourself trying to just stand on top of a stupid mountain. So I try to like, put things in perspective.

• 17:42John Hopkins?

  Still, Brian dusted himself down and went again. Climbing was helping to quench his thirst for adventure. The next year, he summited Kilimanjaro in Tanzania and Mount Elbrus in Southern Russia. His Seven Peaks challenge was back on track. Next stop, Everest.

• 18:03John Hopkins?

  Now Brian sits in a Himalayan village, finishing off a bowl of soup. He drops his spoon into the empty bowl. He sighs and his face relaxes into a small half-smile. The pain in his head is beginning to ease.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  The next day, I was, I was good. I rested that one day. And then the day after that, I hiked in, headed up back to base camp to start my rotations. So Mount Everest, it's highest mountain in the world, 29,035 feet. So one of the 14 8,000 meter peaks in the world. Anything above 8,000 meters or 26,000 feet is considered the death zone. There's only a third of the air, a third of the ozone. So you cannot survive. You pluck your body from where we're at, put you on the summit, you'd pass out and die. You just can't survive. It's the same elevation that major jet airliners cruise at. So that's why you have oxygen drop down if the cabin depressurizes. So in order to survive on those mountains, you have to acclimate.

• 19:05John Hopkins?

  Everest has two base camps, one on the north side in Tibet and another at the foot of the Kumbu Glacier in Nepal. Brian is now back at the latter of these. Everest South Base Camp is a pop-up city of bright orange tents laid out across a monochrome landscape of white and gray. This wide, pockmarked plateau of rock and ice lies within the valley carved by the glacier, its ice flow running right alongside the tents. The camp is surrounded by a crown of towering peaks and a sky close enough to touch.

• 19:43John Hopkins?

  At seventeen and a half thousand feet, it is the highest the human body can live for an extended period. The perfect place for Brian to spend the next few weeks getting his body used to climbing at altitude. As a process, it's as repetitive as it is grueling.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  The body's pretty amazing. So you climb high, you come back, you sleep low. So it's a long process, but what that does is it forces your body into these oxygen deprived areas, which then produces more red blood cells, which carry oxygen. So then the next time you go up, it's not as bad. But every time it's a suffer fest, you know, it just sucks. You go up and you just, you feel your headaches, you want to barf. And then you come back down and you rest for a few days and then you head back up.

• 20:33John Hopkins?

  It takes about a month to acclimatize to the altitude on Everest. And even then you can only do so up to Camp Three, around twenty-three thousand feet. For the other six thousand feet required to summit the mountain, climbers can take supplementary oxygen in seven kilogram canisters. The extra weight a price worth paying in the thinnest of atmospheres.

• 20:54John Hopkins?

  Eventually Brian is ready and the weather is favorable for an attempt at the summit. Brian starts his climb while it's still dark, his headlamp guiding the way through the snowy labyrinth.

• 21:07John Hopkins?

  The first challenge on route to Everest's summit is the Kumbu Icefall, a river of solid ice with constantly moving building sized blocks called seracs that can collapse at any moment.

• 21:19John Hopkins?

  Brian takes it slow, testing with every crunch of his crampons, every dig of his pickaxe, the unstable ice that could shrug him off in an instant.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Straight out of base camp is arguably the most dangerous area. In 2015, a massive piece of the ice caved off and killed fifteen Sherpa. The route changes every single time you go through. Super dangerous.

• 21:42John Hopkins?

  For much of the ascent, Brian will be climbing independently. There is a Sherpa named Pasong who is supporting him along the way, climbing in advance and assessing the route. Periodically, they meet at agreed points to check in. But often Brian is alone, using fixed lines left by former climbers as a guide, soloing his way up through the frost and rock and snow to the top of the world.

• 22:10John Hopkins?

  Gradually, he navigates the Kumbu Icefall. His head torch finds aluminium ladders crisscrossing the ice. They were secured here by previous expeditions and allow climbers to shimmy over the dark, endless crevasses that pepper the mountain.

• 22:26John Hopkins?

  His fingers, numb from cold, grip the metal rungs as tightly as they can. And every time he lifts a hand or a foot to move forward, he shifts his body to counterbalance the swaying ladder separating him from the abyss.

• 22:40John Hopkins?

  Don't look down.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  On highly glaciated peaks, you always climb through the night because once the sun comes out, things become very unstable. So once the sun comes out, they can become loose. So just headlamp and cruising through.

• 22:54John Hopkins?

  It's hardly an easy start, navigating a shifting ice maze in total darkness. But eventually Brian makes it through. From here, he picks up the pace. After the Kumbu Icefall comes Camp One at twenty thousand feet. And swiftly after that, Brian moves on to the Western Kumbu. This is one of the safer stretches of the climb, saved for one enormous bottomless crevasse that requires five ladders strapped together to traverse.

• 23:25John Hopkins?

  As Brian inches along the rickety makeshift bridge, his eyes can't help but stray to the darkness below.

• 23:33John Hopkins?

  A few days earlier, while at base camp, two bodies had turned up, plucked from the ice. They were climbers who had fallen into this very crevasse over twenty years ago.

• 23:45John Hopkins?

  Brian takes a breath, adjusts his grip and reaches for the next rung. Camp Two is now within touching distance.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  It's like twenty-one thousand feet is advanced base camp or Camp Two. And this is where you have like cooking tents and different things. You spend a little bit of time there. And then from Camp Two, you start heading up Lotse.

• 24:09John Hopkins?

  Lotse is the fourth highest mountain in the world and on this approach must be overcome before you attempt Everest.

• 24:17John Hopkins?

  Halfway up, Brian meets Pasong at Camp Three, where tents are anchored at forty-five degrees on the side of a steep snow cliff. With great care, they pitch up. Their tents seeming to defy gravity, partially overhanging the side of the mountain. Though right now, Brian could sleep anywhere. It's been a successful first day, but an exhausting one. Time for some shut eye.

• 24:43John Hopkins?

  When Brian wakes the next day, on the morning of May the fourteenth, there is some bad news.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  We woke up the next morning and there was seventy mile an hour winds. So we're heading up out of Camp Three. And it was kind of one of those days where it's like every step forward is two steps back.

• 25:00John Hopkins?

  It's painfully slow going. Flurries of snow pelt into Brian's face as he pushes his way onwards and upwards. Eventually, about a thousand feet above Camp Three, Brian has to stop to take a drink. But even that's not easy.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  I have to take my system off, which is my mask and my goggles and then drink water. I wrapped my goggles around my wrist. And as soon as I was taking my oxygen mask off, my foot slipped out. And I remember even though I was anchored off, you know, as my reaction was to grab the rope. And as I did, my goggles slid off my wrist.

• 25:37John Hopkins?

  It all happens very fast. His foot slips, his arm jerks out to grab the rope, his goggles fly off his wrist.

• 25:46John Hopkins?

  Brian watches horrified as they tumble down the slope. They fall five hundred feet or more. Surely they're gone.

• 25:56John Hopkins?

  On an expedition like this, you take as little as you can afford to carry. Spare goggles did not make the cut. Without them, however, Brian is unlikely to make it much further. It looks as though this attempt is over.

• 26:11John Hopkins?

  But then, some luck is on his side.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  I didn't know what I was going to do, but then looking down, I'm looking like straight down. And some Sherpa that were coming up to a higher Camp Three were waving at me. And a miracle that they had gotten my goggles like slid to them, rappelled down. And when I got to the goggles, I noticed they were cracked. So goggles have an internal and external lens and the internal lens was cracked.

• 26:39John Hopkins?

  With the internal lens damaged, Brian's goggles keep misting up, freezing between the two layers.

• 26:47John Hopkins?

  As he continues on his climb, time and time again, they become so frosted that he struggles to see. In the end, Brian rips the internal lens out. This seems to do the trick and Brian and Pasong continue up to Camp Four, the last checkpoint before the summit.

• 27:06John Hopkins?

  They use the camp radio to check the weather. More fifty mile per hour winds are forecasted for the next day, but it's due to be calm tonight. They discuss their options. They agree to climb through the night in the better weather and tackle the winds on the way down. So at sunset, Brian and Pasan head out, unaware that they are the only two people attempting the summit.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  Started moving up through the night, all we see is, you know, headlamps, one, one step in front of the other. I started edging away from Pasong. And he's a young guy, had a couple summits and he's definitely had more since. So it was unusual. So we had a rendezvous point at twenty-seven thousand five hundred feet. And I waited up there for an hour, maybe more, just moving around, trying to stay warm. Just saw his headlamp just slowly and then it would stop and then he would start moving again. And he finally made it up and he just said he wasn't feeling great.

• 28:03John Hopkins?

  Pasong is struggling. Up here, ignoring your body's warnings can be fatal. He agrees to stop, but if Brian wants to continue to the top, that's fine. He'll wait for him at a spot known as the balcony about thirteen hundred feet below the summit. He'll have an extra tank of oxygen ready for Brian when he returns. Brian forces down a snack, sips his water and looks up into the darkness where the peak awaits.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  I had a big decision. The things that went through my head were, you know, how's the weather? Weather was fine. How was I? I felt strong. But most importantly, how was my friend? How was Pasong? He assured me he was totally fine. So without overthinking, I just, I turned and I, I started moving up.

• 28:50John Hopkins?

  The sun slowly rises, casting Everest's grand triangular shadow over the rest of the Himalayas.

• 28:58John Hopkins?

  And on Brian goes, scraping and scrambling his way over boulders and through thick snow.

• 29:06John Hopkins?

  His strides quicken in the glow of dawn, the beauty of his surroundings spurring him on.

• 29:12John Hopkins?

  He scales the South Summit, Everest's false peak, before edging along the razor blade that is the corniest traverse. Finally, he clambers up the Hillary Step, a forty foot rock face that requires technical climbing. And then at last, it's there. The sole purpose of all the training, all the acclimatizing, all the exertion.

• 29:35John Hopkins?

  Brian's boots crunch on pristine white snow and then he's made it.

• 29:41John Hopkins?

  He looks out at the world below, entirely, exquisitely alone.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Having it to myself, you know, I checked the Himalayan database later. I was like one of just a handful that have ever had the summit on a given day solo. After taking pictures and the highest selfie, made a radio call down and just said, this is Brian checking in from the summit of Everest. It was just a very emotional moment.

• 30:06John Hopkins?

  Brian takes in the jagged expanse of snow capped peaks interspersed with white clouds. It stretches endlessly towards a deep blue horizon. He's done it.

• 30:18John Hopkins?

  He stays at the summit for an hour, though it passes in a moment.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  Before I knew it, I had to get going. So I got a snack, got some water and then put all my gear back together and started heading down.

• 30:32John Hopkins?

  It's a long journey back for the highest man on earth, but his movements are purposeful, fueled by a renewed energy. He steps and slides and shimmies his way downwards. But he's not gone far when suddenly everything changes.

• 30:49John Hopkins?

  A stinging pain grips Brian and he stops dead in his tracks.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  About, I don't know, ten, fifteen feet into my descent, everything just went completely white and I went snow blind.

• 31:07Speaker 02

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• 31:22John Hopkins?

  This October on the Noiser Podcast Network. Real Dictators Returns. We're in the Dominican Republic for the story of Rafael Trujillo. On Short History of We'll uncover the secrets of the Hoover Dam and follow Mary Shelley, the creator of Frankenstein and his monster. On Real Survival Stories, a modern Viking adventure as a replica Norse vessel embarks on a daring voyage across the North Sea. And a man is struck blind all alone at the very top of the world.

• 31:53John Hopkins?

  In Jane Austen Stories, Emma continues with Dame Julie Andrews. And in Sherlock Holmes Short Stories, Holmes and Watson unpick an epic mystery of hidden treasure and murder in The Sign of Four. Get all of these shows and more early and ad free on Noiser Plus.

• 32:13John Hopkins?

  It's mid morning on the 15th of May, 2011. At the highest point of the Himalayan mountain range, the wind is beginning to stir.

• 32:23John Hopkins?

  Until now, the weather has been fine. A calm night giving way to bright sunlight and a blue sky as clear and deep as an alpine rock pool. But the forecasted gales have arrived. And as they whip across the ridges of Mount Everest, they tug at the ice and rock, threatening to destabilize the entire mountain face. A little way down from the peak, a single climber stands stock still for a moment. Brian puts a hand up to his goggles, waving it across his eyes, testing his vision. And then he drops to the floor.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  I remember at that moment, just dropping down, grabbing the rope I was attached to and assessing the situation.

• 33:06John Hopkins?

  Brian's compromised goggles have allowed too much sunlight to pass through them into his eyes. And already the damage is done. After prolonged UV exposure, Brian's corneas are inflamed. He's snow blind and his vision won't return for at least 24 hours. He tries his radio, but can't connect to the frequency, not uncommon at this height. Even if he could communicate with other climbers, no one is making an ascent today. It's too risky.

• 33:37John Hopkins?

  Brian has a finite supply of oxygen. His sight might return in a day if he's lucky. But by that point, it would be far too late. All in all, he finds himself in one of the worst situations imaginable.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  I remember thinking I'm at the highest point in the world. I'm completely alone. I'm blind. And no one's coming to get me.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  And without overthinking it, I got up and I just started moving.

• 34:08John Hopkins?

  What else can he do? The alternative is to do nothing and slowly perish in the cold.

• 34:15John Hopkins?

  And so with the utmost caution, Brian starts to move.

• 34:20John Hopkins?

  He feels his way down the mountain. Every movement, a high stakes gamble.

• 34:26John Hopkins?

  Snow blindness is a strange, frightening sensation. The world doesn't go dark. It goes light.

• 34:34John Hopkins?

  As essentially sunburnt to the protective front layer of the eye, it can be brutally painful.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  If you put a light bulb, you know, right in front of your face, like an inch in front of your face, you can't see anything. You can move your finger between the bulb and your eyes and you'll notice a shadow just moved. But you cannot focus on it. And it feels like, you know, like potato chips. If you break those up and put them in your eyelids, it just, it's really unpleasant.

• 35:06John Hopkins?

  As Brian creeps down the mountain, he begins to rely more heavily on his other senses. He feels his way along previously laid ropes and clambers over obstacles.

• 35:16John Hopkins?

  He is starting to make some progress when he cocks his head, turning his ear.

• 35:22John Hopkins?

  He can hear a sudden gust approaching and flings himself to the floor, attempting to avoid one of the 50 mile an hour gusts coming up the South Summit. He hunkers down and lets the wind whip over him.

• 35:36John Hopkins?

  As he lies there, waiting for another squall to pass, he regulates his breathing, trying to lower his heart rate.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  I know in military panic kills, as soon as you start thinking you're dead, you're already dead. I know there was a low survival rate. I never allowed that to, to get into my head. I just kept moving. Anything negative that came in, I could feel my heart rate increase. I would just suppress it. I'll deal with that later. One slow step at a time, using my other senses.

• 36:08John Hopkins?

  Brian descends like this slowly, inching forward and stopping regularly, his jaw set in concentration and his breathing controlled and steady.

• 36:18John Hopkins?

  Then Brian feels the safety ropes suddenly plunge downwards and away from him. He stops still. With careful maneuvering, he's got this far. But he now faces an altogether different challenge.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I got to the top of Hillary Step, the 40 foot rock climb.

• 36:37John Hopkins?

  Fumbling about, Brian manages to take the rope, anchor himself, turn around and begin inching his way down the rock face. But almost as soon as he does, he slips.

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Started rappelling down and I remember I just slipped out and just pendulummed. I remember just swinging, just kind of out of control, hit the rock. And then slowly slid down to the base. I remember laying there, my heart rate just going and just assessing any damage, like, am I broken? I think I'm okay.

• 37:08John Hopkins?

  Incredibly, Brian is in one piece. It's not the most elegant way to descend the Hillary Step, but it's one difficult obstacle complete.

• 37:18John Hopkins?

  He takes a drink of water and moves on to the next one.

• 37:22John Hopkins?

  The Cornice Traverse.

• 37:25John Hopkins?

  This ridge, only a few feet wide, is legendary among climbers. It is said to have a two mile drop either side. One side into Nepal, the other into Tibet. It's a place that has claimed many lives. And the winds aren't making it easier.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  The 50 mile an hour gusts were, were definitely kicking up at this point. So I'd hear them and I would like really hunker down, just grab onto that rope, take another step.

• 37:54John Hopkins?

  With nothing but thin air to his left and right, he cannot afford a single slip. Each step is a leap of faith. Every dig of his crampons into the ice, a gamble on its structural integrity. Every pull on the rope, potentially his last.

• 38:11John Hopkins?

  Another gust forces Brian to lie low. He waits for it to subside before continuing on, step by careful, patient step.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  And then the world started getting steeper. So I realized I was at the South Summit. I had to climb back up that.

• 38:29John Hopkins?

  In Brian's state, it's actually safer to climb upwards as any fall is less likely to see him tumble down the mountain. He shimmies to the top of the South Summit and pauses to hydrate again. He takes a deep breath, checks the rope and starts the more arduous business of descending the other side of the South Summit.

• 38:49John Hopkins?

  But all it takes is one misstep.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  On the other side, took one step and just slipped out. And I was just head over heels, just flying, like falling. And that was the scariest thing I've still ever felt in my life. It's like go to your roof, close your eyes and jump off. It's just, it's so helpless.

• 39:11John Hopkins?

  His hands grasp for a rope that they cannot find. His body twists desperately in anticipation of impact. Flailing and blind, Brian plummets. Until.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  I accelerated quickly, but that rope I was attached to, shock loaded. And I remember just the impact of that. And just to save my life, I would have, I would have gone for over a mile. But I was upside down, my oxygen was ripped from my face, my bottles outside of my pack.

• 39:43John Hopkins?

  Brian slams to a stop, hanging upside down, panting, his face exposed, his lungs sucking in the icy air, desperate for oxygen. He strains to haul himself upright, tensing his core and gritting his teeth. With an ice axe, he begins cutting a small shelf in the slope. Brian's heart hammers in his chest. When the shelf is big enough, Brian swings towards it and scrabbles on. He needs to take a minute. He rests, calms himself, and takes the time to reattach his oxygen mask. Once his breathing has returned to a steady rhythm, Brian steps out again to continue his descent.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  I took a sidestep to my left, facing the mountain, to my left, still attached to the ropes. Soon as I did, because it was warming up, a slab avalanche kicked off.

• 40:34John Hopkins?

  He just can't catch a break. With the sun now rising, a section of compacted snow has partially melted and come loose. The entire slab now hurtles down the mountain, taking Brian with it. All he can do is grip onto his safety rope and go along for the terrifying ride.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Riding it out, I grabbed the rope, and it immediately burned a line through my leather glove. That's how fast I was falling. I still have the gloves with the line through it.

• 41:07John Hopkins?

  Clouds of snow and ice explode around him as he careens downwards. Then, thankfully, he starts to feel himself slow. The slope eases, the snow settles, and the avalanche stops. Again, he's somehow unharmed. Brian stabilizes himself, his safety rope now firmly fused to the palm of his leather glove. After a few minutes and some deep breaths, Brian dusts himself off and continues his journey downwards. Next, he reaches a place he knows must be the balcony. It's a small, exposed snowy shelf and a frequent resting place for climbers.

• 41:49John Hopkins?

  This is the checkpoint where Pasong agreed to wait for him. Brian calls out, the relief in his voice palpable, and waits for a response. But the wait goes on and on.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Got to the balcony, called out for Pasong, he wasn't there. And I remember, I just figured he must have went down.

• 42:10John Hopkins?

  It's a blow. Pasong's illness must have been so intense that he had to think of himself and get to a lower altitude. Brian does not let this setback affect him. He remains focused and determined. With the oxygen in his tank running low, he can't stand still. So he resumes his journey, but almost instantly, something causes him to stop again. A blurry, orange shape swims in a sea of white. It's so bright, even Brian can see it. There's something on the ground. Pasong may not be here, but he has left a vital gift.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Almost walked right past the extra oxygen bottle he had left. It's like this bright orange thing, and I remember, like, this thing was glowing next to me. I'd laid down, pulled off my regulator, just fumbling with it. Tried that bottle, and it just, it wouldn't work. I didn't have all day to troubleshoot. I knew I'd be out soon, just based on the time I'd been using it. But I put mine back together, and I grabbed that extra 15 pounds, and I put it in my pack.

• 43:16John Hopkins?

  Even though it doesn't work and adds an extra seven kilos to his load, Brian still decides to take Pasong's oxygen bottle. And on he goes. The next section involves rappelling along fixed pitched lines, which means Brian will have to turn around and abseil down a near-vertical face. This is actually welcome, as it's mostly rope work. Brian can feel his way through it. He eases himself down slowly, using his hands to double-check every connection and test every rope. And then, about 20 feet down.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  I ran out of oxygen. And at this point, I'd been climbing for about 33 hours from the day prior to this point, completely blind, alone. And at that moment, I'd been trying so hard to do it on my own, and I reached a point where I just couldn't. And I just prayed. I just said, "God, I can't do this alone. Please help."

• 44:14John Hopkins?

  He is still above 27,000 feet, still within the death zone where each breath brings in about a third of the oxygen. Without supplementary O2, and with his blind descent taking more than twice as long to complete, Brian doesn't stand a chance. He rests on a ledge on his knees, his breaths rasping and shallow. And as he mutters an appeal to the heavens, something seems to happen.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  In that moment, when I said that, that simple prayer, I just, I felt this energy come over me. And I, I stood up, and first thing I did, tried that extra oxygen bottle that had previously failed. And I got a positive flow. And I remember taking five deep breaths and just the pain of air re-entering my, my veins, my body. It burnt, it felt like fire. And, again, didn't overthink it, put my gear back together, and just started rappelling down.

• 45:10John Hopkins?

  Slowly, carefully, he continues to shimmy down on the ropes, bolstered by his fresh tank of oxygen. At the bottom of the abseil, Brian unclips, turns himself around, and resumes walking forward. He peers into the whiteness, searching for any clues as to where he might be. Then he stops and squints into the distance. Is his snow blindness playing tricks, or is that something he recognizes? He hikes closer, and sure enough, he can just about discern a rounded outline of glistening white. It's an ice bulge, which suggests he has reached a milestone. He's at the South Col, an ice-covered saddle between the peaks of Everest and Lotse.

• 45:55John Hopkins?

  Only a little further down lies Everest's highest camp, Camp Four, and the promise of help. It's so close now. Brian just needs to put one foot in front of the other. Exhaustion from his marathon climb is emptying his legs and drying his mouth with every step. Again, in the blur of his vision, a vague image seems to materialize. It sharpens. It, it looks like a person. His heartbeat increases. But then, as he gets closer, the image changes again, morphing from a person into a boulder. Brian is beginning to hallucinate. After all the effort, the pain, the fear, is his body finally shutting down?

• 46:37John Hopkins?

  What else might he have misinterpreted in his warped, blinded state? Perhaps he's still hours from the camp, perhaps he's entirely lost, disorientated, and dying in an endless void of white. Then from nowhere, a great force hits Brian. He feels arms enveloping him, squeezing him tight, threatening to crush his very bones.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Out of nowhere, Pasong just hugs me. Never saw him coming. He's like, "Brian, you're alive." Yeah, I remember him saying, "I'm so sorry, I left you." And I just gave him a hug, and, you know, at that point, just, it was that, that first human contact, when I knew I was going to survive.

• 47:17Speaker 02

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• 47:39Speaker 03

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• 47:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't got this.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  You need Nyquil Intense Flu.

• 47:45Speaker 05

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• 47:59John Hopkins?

  It's the 15th of May 2011, around mid-afternoon. Way up in the clouds, saddled between the twin summits of Everest and Lotse, the first and fourth highest mountains in the world, sits a small encampment of tents rippling in the crosswinds. This is Camp Four, the highest on Everest. Two men shuffle their way towards the camp, one guiding the other. Pasong gently leads a stumbling, exhausted Brian over to one of the tents. He urgently needs warmth and rest.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  I passed out for about 15 hours. My eyes were glued shut, just secretion, everything. I'd lost 20 pounds, just in my summit push, all muscle. So, that sucks. All the good stuff's gone. But I still had to get down the mountain.

• 48:47John Hopkins?

  With Pasong's help and his supplies replenished, Brian continues his slog down the world's mightiest mountain. Down Lotse, through a maze of crevasses where Brian comes perilously close to a fall. Down slippery slopes, over ice and ropes and boulders. Hours later, when he reaches Camp Two, he is finally able to call home and speak to his wife Joanna.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  I had a French-Canadian friend who was at Camp Two dial her number on a sat phone and just said, "I've soloed the summit, and I'm blind." And then the phone cut out. It's the worst phone call to spouse in history.

• 49:24John Hopkins?

  It's a full day before Brian can reach his wife again. He crawls blindly across the rickety aluminium ladders in the Kumbu Icefall, feeling his way along, trusting Pasong with his life. At last, he reaches base camp and has an uninterrupted call with his wife. He recounts his tale through tears of relief. He will see her again, but not for a little while.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  I still had 38 miles to get out on foot before then getting halfway back around the world, and, yeah, I didn't regain my eyesight for, for two months.

• 50:02John Hopkins?

  There are over 340 recorded fatalities on Mount Everest. Around 200 of those who have died are still on the mountain, their bodies deemed too remote or too dangerous to recover. Brian was very nearly one of them.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  I could have easily just closed my eyes and become a permanent fixture. So you deal with survivor's guilt and it's a lot of trauma in retelling my story over and over. As soon as I got home, everyone wanted to hear everything and I'm on stage and in the press and, you know, bright lights and the different news channels and, and I know that was all important, but, you know, that's, I needed, I needed to heal and it took a lot of years to get to a more healthy place.

• 50:47John Hopkins?

  Brian finds writing to be a more therapeutic way to tell his story, so he publishes a book. He's now an author, public speaker and podcast host, but he's still not totally free of the trauma.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  15 years later, I would think things would get easier and tying heels and everything else, but even now I still feel the tension. I think I was more extroverted prior and I've 180 just shifted. I'd rather just be, be closed up in the house and I think that's just what trauma does to you as well though. So it's just something to work through.

• 51:20John Hopkins?

  Brian holds a truly unique climbing record, the highest solo blind descent in history. When considering what allowed him to survive, his military background must have played a role, but Brian thinks there's something even deeper than that.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  A lot of us, most of us get into these roles, even first responders, because we've endured trauma in our childhood and it's childhood trauma that we had no control over. So then we're very comfortable. We get into these traumatic environments and we're very good at it because it's, it's comfortable.

• 51:58John Hopkins?

  And then there's something else, something harder to quantify.

• 52:03John Hopkins?

  Brian says that when he dropped to his knees and asked for help from a higher power, his wife is certain that she felt something at the same time. On the other side of the world, she sensed that her husband was in trouble.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  She said, God, I can't do this alone. Please help. And little did I know, but around the world at that same point, my wife stirred awake like Brian needs help. Something's wrong. And she prayed.

• 52:30John Hopkins?

  Whether it was the thought of getting home to his family or the comfort of knowing someone was watching over him, in that moment, Brian got the energy he needed to stay positive and not give in to the mountain.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  I knew there was 99.999% chance I was going to die. I never allowed that to get into my head. I never thought about that. I had to figure out a reason to survive. I had to find a reason to take one more step forward.

• 53:04John Hopkins?

  Next time on Real Survival Stories, we meet professional skydiver Craig Stapleton.

• 53:10John Hopkins?

  One Sunday in March 2013, Craig and his skydiving partner Katie are practicing a complex mid-air routine when one small error leads to a domino effect of escalating crises.

• 53:23John Hopkins?

  With his lines tangled and his parachute malfunctioning, Craig will start scrambling to fix the situation, frantically grappling with his equipment as he plummets thousands of feet. But as each emergency measure fails one by one, the ground gets closer and closer. Craig is spiraling towards a crunching, high-speed collision with the earth.

• 53:44Speaker 06

  I see my altimeters getting lower and lower and eventually, even while I'm playing with all this, I realize, I realize I'm probably going to die. I'm a dead man.

• 53:56John Hopkins?

  That's next time on Real Survival Stories. Listen to Craig's story today without ads and without waiting a week by subscribing to Noiser Plus. This October on the Noiser Podcast Network, Real Dictators returns. We're in the Dominican Republic for the story of Rafael Trujillo. On Short History of, we'll uncover the secrets of the Hoover Dam and follow Mary Shelley, the creator of Frankenstein and his monster. On Real Survival Stories, a modern Viking adventure as a replica Norse vessel embarks on a daring voyage across the North Sea and a man is struck blind all alone at the very top of the world.

• 54:36John Hopkins?

  In Jane Austen's stories, Emma continues with Dame Julie Andrews. And in Sherlock Holmes' short stories, Holmes and Watson unpick an epic mystery of hidden treasure and murder in The Sign of Four. Get all of these shows and more early and ad-free on Noiser Plus.