965. Q&AF: Over-Planning Vs Action, Saying No Without Guilt, and Leading Employees With Bad Attitudes

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to stop over-preparing and start taking action, how to honor your word while still protecting your time, and how to manage high-skill employees with poor attitudes.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists saying goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Questions can be about anything, by the way. We prefer to keep them about business, life, personal development. But you can ask whatever you want and you could ask those questions a number of different ways. DJ, tell them how.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Guys, you can email your questions into us at [email protected]. You can also check the link in the description below and submit your questions for a chance to be on our call-ins. And you can also drop your questions in the comments of the Q and A F episodes on the tube.

• 0:58Andy Frisella?

  All right. And if this is your first time listening, it's not always Q and A F. We have C T I, all right? And there's a big schedule change on C T I coming up. We are transitioning to live format.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  We are live.

• 1:12Andy Frisella?

  We are live, which means we will be live tonight.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Tonight.

• 1:16Andy Frisella?

  Ooh, what time?

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Monday, Monday, Monday.

• 1:18Andy Frisella?

  Where do people see us live?

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Uh, you guys can check us on YouTube.

• 1:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  Or Twitter.

• 1:24Andy Frisella?

  All right. So live shows coming at you, starting tonight and we'll let you know the schedule tonight. If we figure it out by then.

• 1:36Andy Frisella?

  All right. So we got C T I, cruise the internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We talk about it. You'll see it tonight. Then we got real talk. Real talk's just five to, you know, 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. That's where people who've completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to become who they are today. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program, which is available in its entirety at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. There's also a book available. It's called the book on mental toughness. You can get it at andyfrisella.com.

• 2:18Andy Frisella?

  It includes the entire live hard program, plus a whole bunch of other stuff on mental toughness.

• 2:25Andy Frisella?

  You don't have to buy the book, but if you're someone who enjoys knowing the in-depth knowledge of why, how, etc., etc., the book is an amazing option. We sell it out all the time. So you want the book, you get it at andyforcell.com. If you want it for free, it's episode 208 on the audio feed. Makes no difference to me. All right. Now, before we get started, we do have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. We ask you to share the show. All right. Put a lot of work into the show. We don't take ad revenue. It's very simply just on word of mouth. So we ask very simply, the show makes you laugh, makes you think, it gives you a new perspective. If it's something that makes you better

• 3:10Andy Frisella?

  or laugh, do us a favor and don't be a hoe.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 3:14Andy Frisella?

  All right. What's up?

• 3:15Speaker 01

  What'd you wear tonight for the live?

• 3:18Andy Frisella?

  Oh, I don't know.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  I mean, I feel like we should dress up or something.

• 3:22Andy Frisella?

  For our first live?

• 3:23Speaker 01

  For our first live.

• 3:24Andy Frisella?

  I don't know, man. We'll have to figure it out.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:26Andy Frisella?

  I hadn't thought about it.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, call me so we can figure this out.

• 3:29Andy Frisella?

  All right, we'll figure it out.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Might wear a Revolution outfit.

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  Hey, man.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Do something.

• 3:35Andy Frisella?

  It's gotta start somewhere.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, dude. It's gonna be fucking sick.

• 3:37Andy Frisella?

  It's inevitable at this point.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  I'm excited. I'm excited.

• 3:40Andy Frisella?

  I think the live format's gonna be cool.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  It's gonna be great. We got great people. Even the people that are not so great, they're gonna be in there.

• 3:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  We're gonna have a great time.

• 3:47Andy Frisella?

  That's right. You guys are stupid!

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:52Andy Frisella?

  Yes, we never claimed not to be.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. All right. No, it's gonna be great, though, man. But before we get to our live show tonight, we have Q and A. So we are here to make some people better.

• 4:02Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Got some write-ins, because we got a lot happening. So we gotta, we gotta get through these. But we got some, we got some good, I got three good ones for you.

• 4:09Andy Frisella?

  Do ya?

• 4:10Speaker 01

  I got three good ones.

• 4:10Andy Frisella?

  All right, let's do it.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Let's knock these out. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, you know George St. Pierre?

• 4:18Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  The martial artist?

• 4:20Andy Frisella?

  I don't know him, but I know who he is.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, one of the greatest, right? Okay, so that's what question number one's about. It's a question about a quote that he has. George St. Pierre has a quote saying that preparation is the antidote to fear. But when does preparation become a roadblock to getting started?

• 4:40Speaker 01

  There's some, is there such thing as like too much fucking preparation?

• 4:43Andy Frisella?

  Oh yeah. I mean, look, uh, both things can be true at once, right? Uh, most people have anxiety, fear from performing and going, uh, because they're not prepared, but you could definitely get in a position where you prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare and never go as well. I call those people success zombies. These are the people that consume all of the information. They listen to all the podcasts. They go to the seminars. They have the ideas. They have the plans, but they think that they have to have some sort of approval to actually start. They believe, like I believed when I was younger,

• 5:25Andy Frisella?

  that someone was going to come around and believe in them or signal to them or welcome them into the club before they go. And that just never happens, right? It's a false expectation that we all have, right? We grow up needing approval. We grow up, you know, going to school, uh, raising our hand to go to the bathroom, asking permission for everything. And so it's ingrained in us to get approval before we do things. But what you have to understand when it comes to breaking out of the normal life experience that most humans experience, which is wake up, go to work, get a meager paycheck, go home, try to figure out how to make that work and then repeat that for 60 years.

• 6:10Andy Frisella?

  You know, there's nobody that comes around and says, hey, come here. It's better over here. You know, that's, I'm going to be the closest to that, that you're going to ever have. And, uh, because we grow up and we all know that we don't know what we're doing. We all think we're unqualified, but the secret is guys, everybody's unqualified. All these people that you look at, all these people that you look up to, they don't have anything that you don't have. They just do things differently than you do. And what they do and what unsuccessful do, and this comes from my observation of many, many years. Um, it's really comes down to one thing, you know, people who win make up their minds and then they say, I'm going to do this no matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it is,

• 6:55Andy Frisella?

  no matter what I have to go through to make this happen. And they start climbing before people and they keep climbing after other people quit. And that's the secret to doing this. It has, there's no special skill. There's no. Secret knowledge, there's no magic. In fact, the magic that everybody thinks there is is just simply persevering through the hard things that come our way and never stopping. And that sounds overly simple. And because it sounds simple, a lot of people believe that it's bullshit, but it's not. It really is that simple. That's why training yourself to become somebody who can adhere to a plan, meaning discipline, is the most important skill that

• 7:38Andy Frisella?

  you can develop in yourself. Most people believe that people are either born with discipline, or they're not. They either have it, or they don't. And while it can appear to be that way, it's just not the truth. All right. Discipline is a skill that has to be nurtured, invested in, maintained, watched forever. It's something that you have to invest in and be aware of forever. It is diminishing skill set. It's no different than playing a musical instrument. If you play a musical instrument for 10 years and you quit for 10 years, it's almost like starting over. All right. This is on a shorter scale. Okay. Like if you eat good for two weeks and then you eat bad for two weeks, you got to start over. So when we

• 8:23Andy Frisella?

  think about discipline, we have to stop thinking about it as a trait that we are gifted with and start thinking of it as a skill that we develop. And when you develop that skill of adherence through building your discipline by leaning into the things that are uncomfortable intentionally and making sure that your boss voice, the voice that tells you what you should do versus your bitch voice, the voice that tells you why you shouldn't do it and why it's going to be okay. You got to make sure that voice wins all the time. And that's what Live Hard is all about. That's what 75 Hard is all about. It's not a fitness program. It's a mental training program for you to learn how to adhere, no matter what's going on in your

• 9:05Andy Frisella?

  life. And if you can develop that skill, there is no other skill that you actually need in order to succeed because you're going to go and you're going to make the mistakes. And when you make the mistakes, you're going to learn the lessons and you're going to put that skill into your little tool belt and then you're going to apply that skill the next time. So that same lesson that you learn, it's something that you learn forever. If you're At least somewhat intelligent. Okay. So if you could develop the ability to not quit and the ability to learn from your mistakes and you're willing to go, there's really nothing that can stop you from getting there if you go on a long enough timeline. And that's the secret, man. Uh, so yeah, that's a really good quote. And yes, you're going to have way less

• 9:50Andy Frisella?

  anxiety when you don't prepare, or I'm sorry, you're going to have way more anxiety when you don't prepare. But there is a time where it's like, all right, I need to go do this. This is what I need to do. And we see this too, in all different areas. It's not just business. Like, we see this with workouts, right? Like people buy a treadmill for their house. I'm gonna do this. And then it becomes a clothes rack, right? Uh, or they buy all the new fitness gear. They buy the new shoes, the new shorts, the new shirt, the new, the newest watch, all the shit. And they get it all. And they're like, when I get it all, I'll go. And then they still don't go. And this is, this is just comes from people believing that they don't have what it takes.

• 10:32Andy Frisella?

  But dude, that is a complete lie. And you have been conditioned over the course of your life to believe that you are incapable of things because they want you to be small, weak, and dependent on their systems. And the, the last thing they want is, is a population of independent achievers that are willing to go out and build, create, and become anything that they want to do because it makes them hard to control. So when you think about where that doubt comes from, you have to remember that it comes from a system that is designed to keep you weak, to keep you small, to keep you fat, to keep you uneducated, and to keep you in this place of just getting by for the purpose of control. And for me personally, that pisses me off.

• 11:14Andy Frisella?

  Okay. And I get so pissed that I say, I'm not, this is not going to fucking be how it goes for me. And regardless of what's going on in the world, regardless of the economy, regardless of the president, regardless of the socioeconomic climate, there is always going to be room for people that develop this skill and go. These are going to be the movers and the shakers, the people who lead, the people who build, the people who do things. And guess what? Those people are tired too. Those people are, are unsure too. Those people have doubts too. But they have committed themselves to a process of perseverance, no matter what, no matter what.

• 11:53Andy Frisella?

  And that's the difference, man. That is the total difference.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  You said something there too. You were like, you know, it's like a rational but irrational fear of being unqualified. And it made me think, well, okay, you're in qual- yeah, you are, right? You've never done this before. Cool. But like, who's supposed to come and qualify you then?

• 12:09Andy Frisella?

  You.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Who qualifies?

• 12:11Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Saying?

• 12:12Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  And it's an irrational fear in a way.

• 12:14Andy Frisella?

  It is, but you can also understand why people have it.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:18Andy Frisella?

  You know, I mean, like, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with somebody because they have doubts, bro. Like, I'm telling you right now, the biggest entrepreneurs in the world, the ones that you see their name on TV every single day, these people still have big doubts about what they're doing. They're still questioning. They're still sitting around with their family and their confidants and saying, fuck dude, what do you think? You think we can actually do this? And then, in spite of that uncertainty, they're willing to go anyway. And that's the biggest difference, dude. So you can't blame people for feeling that way, but that's just another thing that we have to overcome, right? And overcoming that i- is really easy, dude. It's really easy. Cause once you start, you're like, that was it? Like, that was all it was?

• 13:02Andy Frisella?

  Like, every time I faced a big challenge in my life in business, and then I went and did it, I was like, dude, I should have done that years ago. I should have done that years ago. You know, I, I think the first time I learned that lesson was, you know, we opened our first retail store in 1999, and it took us five years to open our second store. We could have opened that second store probably the second year or the third year, even though business was, was low.

• 13:35Andy Frisella?

  We probably could have done it, but we were afraid. And we thought that it wouldn't work. And we thought that people would steal from us. And we thought that it would be, you know, all these things. And, and the moral of the story is, is that all these things that you think about are probably gonna happen. So what? It's, it's normal, bro. And, and I, I always come back to that quote that I picked up from that movie, The Edge.

• 13:59Andy Frisella?

  With Anthony Hopkins, he says what one man can do, another can do. And I just firmly believe that in my soul. You know, I think there's outliers, there's, there's definitely people that are born with um, maybe a propensity towards a certain skill set. But for the most part, most of the people that you look at and you admire, these are people that are just like you. These are people with no special gifts that are just made up their minds and fuck it, I'm doing it, no matter what. And, and they do it. And you know what? There's a big cost to that. But there's also a big benefit.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  I love it, dude. I love it, man. Guys, uh, Andy, question number two. Andy, how do you stay true to your word? I often say yes too quickly without weighing other commitments. Uh, I want to be reliable and maintain integrity, but how do you balance being helpful and knowing when to say no?

• 14:50Andy Frisella?

  Oh, man.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  It's a tough one.

• 14:51Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I think it's a tough one when you care about people. Um, when you're, when you're a truly good-hearted person and you have good intentions, it's really easy to get in that trap where you make promises that you can't fulfill because you want to say yes to everybody. And what ends up happening is, is everybody ends up upset with you because you can't keep your commitments when in reality, all you meant to do was to do the right thing. I've fallen into that trap many times, dude. Um, I still fall into that trap, to be honest. Uh, and it's something that I struggle with, you know? But here I am 27 years into business and I'm just finally learning

• 15:36Andy Frisella?

  how to just say, no, I can't do that right now. You know what I'm saying? I can't, there's, I got too much going on, I can't do it. And, um, and what I've, what I've come to find out is that people respect that a lot more than they do when you just like, kind of, you know, give them wishy-washy answers or, you know, say obviously yes to things that, you know, you intend to do, but can't get done.

• 15:58Andy Frisella?

  And just like anything else dude, this is, this is something that you have to practice.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:02Andy Frisella?

  Um, it's something that you have to do over and over and over again, uh, to feel comfortable doing it. And a lot of people have no problem saying no, like my brother has never suffered, has never had that problem. You know what I mean?

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:13Andy Frisella?

  Like he's never, and I don't think it's, I, I don't think it's anything other than he realizes because he's got such a busy life. That he can't, he really can't afford to do it because he doesn't have the time. Um, you know, he's got the three kids and he's got businesses and, and all these things. And, uh, and, and I've, I've learned a lot watching him kind of set that boundary for myself.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  That's really what it comes down to, the boundary line.

• 16:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, for sure. Um, and you know, you, you have to just understand that in order to be the person that you need to be. That's going to benefit the people around you the best. It's going to require that you don't do the things that take away from that and that you concentrate very heavily on the things that do. And unfortunately that's going to upset some people. Unfortunately, that's going to feel uncomfortable, but the reality is the long-term benefit outweighs the, the momentary discomfort of saying no. So, uh, it's something that we have to practice. It's something that you have to get comfortable with. Um, and once you do, it'll save you a lot of time, a lot of frustration. And what you'll find is that people actually respect you more and you're not disappointing people all the time because they have a clear answer.

• 17:23Andy Frisella?

  Uh, and things work out better when you learn to say, when you learn to say no effectively.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  I feel like it also too helps when you do end up saying yes, because it makes that even more, fuck you. All right, cool.

• 17:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, for sure, for sure. It makes your time more valuable, bro. People respect your, um, when you have boundaries, dude, people respect the time that you do give them a lot more. And, um, yeah, I mean, dude, it look, this is just something I think most people struggle with. I think most people struggle with this way more than I do. I, I think, I think people have a really, really hard time because they perceive it as confrontation. When in reality, it's not confrontation, dude.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  It doesn't have to be.

• 18:00Andy Frisella?

  It's just, it's just real.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:03Andy Frisella?

  You know what I mean? And, uh, there's ways to say it without, you know, having to just be like, nope. You know what I mean? Like.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Hell no.

• 18:10Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right. Uh, and sometimes that's appropriate.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:13Andy Frisella?

  But, uh, But yeah, man, you know, it's practice, it's understanding where the juice is worth the squeeze in terms of what you're trying to accomplish, what your obligations are to the people around you. And if you consistently say yes to everybody, you got to understand that everybody else that you're responsible for is going to suffer for that.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Or when you have to say no, then it's like, well, fuck you.

• 18:37Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Because they're so used to you saying, yeah, yeah. I want to talk about this. I know we have a lot of young listeners who they're either, you know, just getting started and, you know, maybe entrepreneurship or, but you know, they might be coming into some money, right? And I know this is a struggle. We've talked about this before, but saying no in financial situations, dude.

• 18:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Is that tougher than a time commitment?

• 19:00Andy Frisella?

  Um, no, it depends on what it is. I have a couple of rules that, you know, because like, dude, what happens is when you start making money, everybody asks you for some.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, you got the money tree in the backyard, right?

• 19:12Andy Frisella?

  Of course. Yeah. You just go back and pick it, you know, right? It's, it doesn't mean nothing to you, you know, because you got a lot of it. You know, they don't take into consideration the fucking decades that you've paid to be where you are, right? If now you got it and I don't have it, so give me some of it, right? And that's what happens. And people come out of the woodwork and, um, you know, some people, you know, you say no to, and they never forgive you, man. I mean, I've lost family members over 500 bucks. You know what I mean? Um, not immediate family, but you know what I'm saying?

• 19:48Andy Frisella?

  But I mean, dude, I have a rule and the rule is very simple. If there's a need and if I'm going to accommodate that need financially, it's always a gift. It's never a loan. And the reason that I do that is because the loans never get paid back and I don't want it to ruin the relationship. So that's one of the things that I do. And then, you know, obviously, um, You know, it's gotta be a real need. It can't be just bullshit. And we also have to understand this, when you do have financial resources and you're constantly and you have people that you care about. And you start to bail them out, then you're handicapping them on their ability to actually overcome challenges in their own life.

• 20:32Andy Frisella?

  And we see this a lot, dude, right?

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Saving them.

• 20:34Andy Frisella?

  Like, yeah, dude, like you see this with people who get on drugs, right? Like people who have a family member that gets on drugs. And they try to do all these things for them and then that person becomes dependent on all those things. And then, then they're ruined. So unfortunately. You know, you do have to say no in most of those situations. And when you do say yes, um. I, I, I do it the way I said, because I, I don't want to have, I don't want to, first of all, I can't keep trap, track of loans and shit. Um. But I don't want to ruin, ruin the relationship.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, but there's a saying, it's like, well, you ever got like somebody that you, you just like, they annoy you, don't want to see him, just loan them 20 bucks?

• 21:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Never see him again.

• 21:16Andy Frisella?

  That's a fact, dude.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  That's real, man. I love it, man. I love it.

• 21:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's a difficult thing for people, man.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  It's a hard thing.

• 21:23Andy Frisella?

  And like, dude, when you start making a lot of money. It's, it's really no different because you'll take care of people.

• 21:31Andy Frisella?

  In big ways and, and the same thing kind of happens. You know what I mean? So you got to understand. I guess what I'm saying is, is you have to understand. What you're doing. Without the expectation of, of, of, that are unrealistic, right? Um.

• 21:52Andy Frisella?

  I think it's good karma to help people when they really need it. That's my personal opinion.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:56Andy Frisella?

  Um. When people start to know that you believe that. People will start manufacturing situations to squeeze you for it. And you've got to be smart enough to identify that. And when those people start doing that. You know, you gotta cut them off because now they've they flipped that switch in your mind to say, okay, this is, this is my friend Andy who's doing me a huge solid to this is, this is a solution to my problems.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:20Andy Frisella?

  And, and nobody wants to be seen as a solution to problems by people who pretend to be their friends.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's like, it makes me think, it makes me think too, it's like, are you really helping them?

• 22:29Andy Frisella?

  You're not.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  If you're solving their fucking problem.

• 22:31Andy Frisella?

  You're not.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Like, they're not solving nothing.

• 22:32Andy Frisella?

  That's right. You're not helping them.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  You're not really helping them.

• 22:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's so real, bro. That's real.

• 22:37Andy Frisella?

  You're, you're not helping them. You're Band-Aid in the situation and further handicapping them down the road.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:41Andy Frisella?

  That's the truth.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:43Andy Frisella?

  You know?

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Bro, that's, that's some real shit, man.

• 22:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  That's real. Um, let's get a third and final question, man.

• 22:48Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's going fast.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Moving and grooving, dude. Uh, third and final question, guys. Andy, uh, question number three. Hey, Andy.

• 22:55Andy Frisella?

  Hey.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  I love your content. Been listening for seven years. Do you think attitude or knowledge of the job is more important? I'm in a division of construction service and I have an employee who is really good at his job, but his attitude is crap. I'm nervous about him growing with the company because he would be leading a crew potentially someday. I'm afraid that his attitude would completely ruin the country, uh, the, the culture of the company. Any thoughts on that?

• 23:28Andy Frisella?

  It will. A hundred percent it will, especially if he's good.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 23:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Because here's what happens. The guy that's real good, the other guys on the team look up to that guy. That guy's got leadership capital because he's good. And he has more leadership capital than the guys that are bad. This is just the natural, the natural progression of things, right? Like, if you go in the locker room and you got a guy that rushes for 300 fucking yards a game and is kicking ass, he's probably gonna be somebody that everybody else looks at to hear what he has to say.

• 23:56Speaker 01

  With or without that captain crutch?

• 23:58Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, correct.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:59Andy Frisella?

  And, and when that person doesn't have the right attitude, it's completely, uh, destructive to your culture. So, yes, your instincts are correct. Uh, when it comes to hiring, you wanna always hire for attitude and culture and then teach skill, not the other way around. You're never gonna hire for skill and then get someone to accept a new culture because usually when they are high skilled, they are also high ego. And when you have a high ego, it's hard to get someone.

• 24:31Andy Frisella?

  To humble themselves enough to realize there might be a better way or a way that helps other people. Right? Yeah. Um. You can't teach that. No. Let me go back.

• 24:43Andy Frisella?

  Not usually is high skill, high ego, but.

• 24:49Andy Frisella?

  A lot of times, okay? A lot of times people are high skilled because they are humble. You gotta be able to tell the difference. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But yeah, dude, having somebody on your team who's high skilled, bad culture. If you already know that, like, if you already see this, I would already be making a plan to get rid of this person and replace him with someone with a good attitude, no matter how good he is. Because eventually, no matter what happens, if he's got a bad attitude and he's got an abrasive relationship with the leadership, he's going to spread that amongst the team and you can't have that in an organization. You know, that's why you see major league teams or NFL teams. You know, sometimes they'll be trading a guy who you're like, why the fuck did you trade that guy? Like, that's our best guy.

• 25:33Andy Frisella?

  Well, usually there's some shit going on in the locker room that you don't know about that they don't want to make public. And so bad culture fits have to go. And even if you replace them with someone who's maybe a little bit less skilled, but great with culture and attitude, that makes up the difference. Uh, and you can get somebody to learn better skills. So, you know, it's, it's, it's an easy, it's easy to talk about. It's hard to do when your best salesperson or your best builder or your best performer. And you think, fuck, I'm gonna have to get rid of this guy. This guy's the whole reason that we're doing this, but that's not true. Okay, you gave that person the opportunity. You're running shit. It's your fucking game, not their game, and you have to remember that.

• 26:18Andy Frisella?

  And there's no one person that's going to make or break your company. You know how many times I've been told in my life when someone's, you know, gotten fired or, or I've had a, and they're like, oh, it's all downhill from here. You fucked up. Yeah, we're gonna crumble. You're gonna crumble without me. You know how many times we crumbled? Fucking zero. Okay? So, let's be real about this. Your job is to build an amazing company that benefits you and the people that you're building with and their families and your family. And you can't do that with someone standing in the way because they got a bad attitude because they're telling people, oh, you know, we gotta squeeze an extra half an hour out of lunch or we could do this and the boss won't say anything. That's bullshit. The right person will have high skill and say, all right, boys, let's get back to work.

• 27:03Andy Frisella?

  Let's make sure this happens. And if, if that's not happening, you got the wrong people. You know what I mean?

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:08Andy Frisella?

  Can't build with the wrong people. You just can't do it.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  You, you brought up humility in this sense, talking about skill versus attitude. I want to dive into that a little bit because I think it's important. It's like the psychology of you have a guy that, that thinks he's great and is great. He's kind of tapped out on.

• 27:22Andy Frisella?

  That's correct.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  So like, let's, let's talk about it.

• 27:24Andy Frisella?

  Well, yeah, I mean, that's the, that's the paradox of humility, right? Everybody talks about how success, like, okay, for example, let's just use an extreme example. Let's use Conor McGregor.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 27:37Andy Frisella?

  Conor McGregor is to most people, probably the least humble person that you could think of.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:43Andy Frisella?

  Okay. I like that.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  You look up cocky in the dictionary.

• 27:46Andy Frisella?

  I like, I love that. I like people like that. Okay.

• 27:52Andy Frisella?

  But what you have to understand is that he is not cocky when he's learning his craft. When he's in the gym and he's learning how to play better, learning how to fight better, learning how to jitsu better, learning how to strike better. He's not cocky. Okay. But when he goes out to perform and do his job, he's telling himself, I'm the baddest motherfucker on the planet. Okay. So there's a dichotomy here and it is humble in preparation and confident or cocky in execution. Okay. And that's where we have to fucking find that, that line where we ride.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:29Andy Frisella?

  So if you, when it's, and the paradox is, is that when we look at successful people, a lot of people will say, oh dude, that guy's just a cocky fuck. But in reality, humility is required to even get to the level that they're at. So you're misjudging what that actually is. Okay.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:49Andy Frisella?

  That's not cockiness, bro. That's the result of years and years and years of humble preparation. You see what I'm saying?

• 28:57Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 28:57Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 28:59Andy Frisella?

  You know, there's this idea, I mean dude, it's funny because like the average, you know, person's idea and viewpoint of a successful person is almost like backwards in the way that they think about it. You know, they think, oh, well, that person is where they are because they were born into this family, or they got this, or they got that. Bro, I don't know very many successful people that came from soft circumstances. Almost every single person that I know that self-made came from shit that they had to fucking claw their way out of, which is what equipped them with the grit, with the fortitude, with the perseverance, and the skillset to actually go and be successful in their life. And,

• 29:41Andy Frisella?

  you know, people don't think of that. They think, oh dude, that guy was born on third base and he thinks he hit a triple. And they tell themselves all these stories, but that's just not the fucking truth. The truth of the matter is, is that becoming a successful human being is so fucking hard, that if you dump that on someone who was born with privilege, bro, they're gonna fucking crumble. Okay? So, when we think about this, that's, that's the wrong perception that people have. Another one is about this, this humility thing. Everybody wants to talk about humble, humble, humble, humble. He's not humble. Bro, humble is what fucking losers say to take people out that have done shit more than them. That's the truth. Okay? They say this shit without realizing that the person who they're calling not humble,

• 30:26Andy Frisella?

  humbly put in 10, 20, 25 years of work, learning their craft to become great at it. So they have a right to feel good about who they are and the skills they have. And in fact, when they go out to perform, whether it be business, or in sports, or on a stage for music, or whatever, you have to believe that you're gonna fucking win, or you're gonna get your ass beat. So, that's another misconception. And there's all kinds of misconceptions that the average person has of the successful person that are just completely fucking false. And honestly, they're just justifications

• 31:06Andy Frisella?

  uh, for why that, you know, the person saying them is where they are, and that successful person is where they are. So. You know, humility is a requirement for success and to say to someone, you know, like when they start to win, oh, you know, don't forget to be humble. Well, I wouldn't be winning if I wasn't humble bitch. Like I gotta learn, right? Like we're all born with a blank slate.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Can't learn if you're not.

• 31:31Andy Frisella?

  That's right. I'm, I don't know what I don't know. So how did I learn this shit? Well, I had to be humble enough to accept that I didn't know and I had to learn. And the more I learn and the more I practice, the better I get. And eventually you get to a point where you, you know, you're pretty skilled. But the downfall comes when people think they have no more to learn. Like they get to Connor's level and they say, all right, well, I'm the greatest of all time at what I do and I can't get any better. Well, that's when they start to go down.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  Tapped out.

• 32:03Andy Frisella?

  Right. And the true champions, the people who win from, you know, the time they start winning through their whole life, they might appear to have an extraordinary level of confidence, but behind closed doors, they're always examining their own skillset. They're always auditing where they really are. They're telling themselves the truth. And if we're being honest, most of the people underrate themselves in terms of how good they are versus overrating themselves. Because behind closed doors, you almost have to do that. You're like, all right, well, I'm not as good as I think I am, so I gotta get better. Right? So while the world might see these people as great, they don't see themselves as great. They see themselves as still that beginning person who doesn't know shit, who's trying to figure it out and go, dude, that's

• 32:48Andy Frisella?

  how I look at myself behind closed doors. You know, people see me yelling into a mic or on stage or doing this or that, or riding around and doing cool things in my life. And they think, oh, look, that guy thinks he's the shit. Actually, it's the opposite. Actually, I'm still trying to get better and I'm enjoying some of the process along the way.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  100%.

• 33:06Andy Frisella?

  You see what I'm saying?

• 33:07Speaker 01

  100%. So let's, let's talk on this last question. Let's talk about attitude adjustment, though, right? Cause I'm thinking about this and I got so many thoughts on this, but it's like. You're saying prepare to prepare to get this guy out, right? Is there, is there a chance, is there any last ditch effort that this guy can do to try to save, quote unquote, save this guy?

• 33:27Andy Frisella?

  Sure, it might not even be a last ditch effort. Like, how much time is this person put into cultivating this guy's culture?

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:34Andy Frisella?

  Like, have you tried to cultivate an intentional culture? Have you worked with your team? Have you?

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're saying he got a bad attitude. Have you even tried to?

• 33:41Andy Frisella?

  That's, that's it. Yeah, like, you just be, and dude, maybe, maybe he's unaware that he has a bad attitude. Maybe he's unaware of his own leadership capital. You know, sometimes, because no one ever comes along in your life, at least in very few circumstances, you're the leader, you're the leader, you're the leader, right? And, and, and even if you're someone that a lot of people look up to, sometimes, you still, you still, you're like, why the fuck are these people looking up to me? Because you're you, and you've lived you your whole life. So you don't really see that there's anything special there.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:18Andy Frisella?

  Right?

• 34:18Speaker 01

  You're just doing your shit.

• 34:19Andy Frisella?

  And because of that, you don't value your own leadership ability. So you're loose with your leadership. And what I mean by that is, you might say things, or do things, or things that aren't representative of good leadership, because you're thinking like, oh, we're just, I'm just one of the guys. Like, you know, it doesn't matter what I say. And they're not aware that their operating is, is, is really setting the tone for everybody else. And sometimes, it's just as simple as pulling someone aside and say, hey, look, dude, I'm gonna tell you something, and you need to listen to me. All these fucking dudes that you're around, listen to you. They look at you, they, they think you're the leader, and when you do this and that and this,

• 35:03Andy Frisella?

  that fucks, that fucks up everything we're doing, and it fucks them too. Okay? And the second part of that is where you can really get people to start paying attention. Because when it comes to yourself, people are willing to

• 35:17Andy Frisella?

  Look at things differently, but when they know that their bad behavior or their bad attitude or their bad performance is affecting the person to the left or to the right of them, that changes the game. And so sometimes it's just about making these people aware, like, hey, Joe, I don't know if you know this dude, but like, yes, you're the best skilled guy here, but you're also a leader. And when you do this and this and this, that prevents us from being able to do this, which ultimately hurts you because I can't grow the company to pay you more.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:47Andy Frisella?

  Okay. And on top of that, your buddies, Mike, Tom, and Josh over here, they're not going to make as much money. And you know for a fucking fact, they're struggling. So when you do this, this is hurting them. And just pointing that out to people usually straightens it out.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, but that's so, it made me think, like, have you ever had these conversations with your employees that maybe started just smelling themselves a little too much, right? And you're like, sometimes you gotta have a, you know, yeah, you might be fucking great, Joe, but like, you didn't build the fucking arc to triumph.

• 36:20Andy Frisella?

  Well, well, yeah.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? Like, you have to knock them down just a little bit?

• 36:23Andy Frisella?

  Sometimes. It depends. But if that's the case, if it's the case where you go and have that conversation and then there's like pushback on it, like, yeah, but I'm the best. That's a bad sign.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:36Andy Frisella?

  That's a bad sign.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:37Andy Frisella?

  Like, being the best with your skill is not being the best teammate.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Self.

• 36:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's just not.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:46Andy Frisella?

  You know, being the best incorporates great performance and great leadership together that makes everybody else around you better. And that's typically what companies will pay a lot for. You know what the most valuable skill that companies will pay for is the ability to replicate good performance in other people. So if you're a good performer and you could figure out how to make the three guys next to you just as good, you're fucking invaluable. You cannot be fucking fired. You cannot be fired. You cannot be, you have to be paid more. You understand?

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 37:20Andy Frisella?

  Because you become a linchpin in their company, dude. A part of the company that cannot be operated without you. That's a fucking huge skill. So if you take it a step further, and let's say Joe's listening right now and he says, you're right. You know, I'm kind of, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know what? You're right. I do have to help these dudes develop. And then he starts doing it. Now he took his, his value as a team member or employee through the fucking roof. Okay. So that's the game. The game as an employee is to be great at what you do, undeniably great. Okay. Not a little bit better than everybody else.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:54Andy Frisella?

  Fucking dominating everybody else. And I know they're your friends and I know, you know, this and that, but dude, at the end of the day, the motherfucker that puts the fucking ball in the net the most makes the most motherfucking money. Okay? If he can make the team around him better. And that's what the, that's the game. The most valuable skill you can have is high performance with the ability to replicate it in other people. If you can do that, bro, there's nothing that can fucking stop you.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Dude, I love it, dude. Guys, that can't fucking make you better this week. I don't know what can.

• 38:25Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was, that was fucking great.

• 38:27Andy Frisella?

  First form energy can.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  That was.

• 38:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Get yourself a little can of freedom right here. You know what I'm saying?

• 38:33Speaker 01

  I love it, dude.

• 38:34Andy Frisella?

  I'm on the slim today.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what it is.

• 38:35Andy Frisella?

  I'm on a slim can.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  I'm with it, dude. I'm with it.

• 38:37Andy Frisella?

  I'm on an energy diet.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  Well, guys, Andy, dude, that was three.

• 38:43Andy Frisella?

  Yep. All right, guys, we will see you tonight. What time?

• 38:47Speaker 01

  7:00 PM Central Standard.

• 38:48Andy Frisella?

  7:00 PM Central Standard Time. We are going to do a two hour live, seven and nine roughly. Okay. Uh, tune in, come see us on YouTube and we will see you there. All right. Don't be a hoe.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Shut the show.