889. Q&AF: Loyal But Stuck, Ethical Dilemma & Dealing With Bitter Coworkers

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to navigate the situation when you have a leadership role but don’t have full authority to make critical changes, how to stay ethical when trying to earn money, and how to handle spiteful coworkers when you outperform them at your job.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you can submit your questions a couple of different ways. First way is- Guys, email these questions into [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube, on the Q and A F episodes, go down in the link right underneath the video, click that link and you could submit your question there to be a caller on the show, or you just leave your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Other times throughout the week, we're gonna have other types of shows.

• 1:00Andy Frisella?

  Tomorrow, we're gonna have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. Cruise the Internet is where we take topics going on in the world, we put them on the screen, we laugh about them, make fun of them, we talk about what's really going on, we speculate on what's really going on and then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're gonna have Real Talk. Real Talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Verses. 75 Hard Verses is where someone who's completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show, they talk about how their life sucked and how it doesn't suck now because they did the 75 Hard Program. If you are unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard Program,

• 1:42Andy Frisella?

  which can be found for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208, audio feed only. There's a book available on my website called The Book on Mental Toughness and includes the entire program, plus a whole bunch of other stuff on mental toughness. Basically, a whole new book on mental toughness. You can get that. It's not free, but it is very in-depth and people love it. We're usually out of it, but I think we have some right now. So, what else? Oh, we got a fee. The fee is very simple. If the show makes you laugh, it makes you think. If it gives you a new perspective, if it helps you, which it will-

• 2:24Andy Frisella?

  Do us a favor and share the show. We don't run ads on the show. We don't try to monetize the show and make it this big thing. I'm a successful entrepreneur. I financed the show myself. I don't want to be told what I can or can't say. So all I ask from you guys is that you help us share the show. Alright, so don't be a hoe.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 2:42Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  What's up? Top of the morning to you.

• 2:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, good morning.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, how's it going?

• 2:47Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, got a big week this week.

• 2:49Andy Frisella?

  Big week, summer smash.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Laying out some stuff.

• 2:52Andy Frisella?

  Mm-hmm. Our first live show ever.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  First live show.

• 2:57Andy Frisella?

  First live show.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 2:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Live.

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  Like with a live crowd.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  With a live studio audience.

• 3:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that is Friday.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:05Andy Frisella?

  At 1.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  At 1pm.

• 3:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, Friday at 1 here at HQ.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:09Andy Frisella?

  The first live Relay F.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  It's gonna be, this'll be sick.

• 3:12Andy Frisella?

  It is gonna be awesome.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  It's gonna be sick.

• 3:13Andy Frisella?

  I can't wait till we start our tour.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:16Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Our tour.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  What was the wink for?

• 3:18Andy Frisella?

  Cause I'm, people don't know the intricacies of the tour.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Oh, gotcha.

• 3:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Of a, of a tour.

• 3:23Andy Frisella?

  There's a secret thing about the tour that you don't know.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, I'm excited though. It's gonna be cool.

• 3:29Andy Frisella?

  Bro, I think, I think it's gonna kick ass.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  I think so too.

• 3:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so too.

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  I love doing the crowd shit.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  We should open up with like some, like some, like two minutes of stand-up.

• 3:40Andy Frisella?

  I think we should open up with like two minutes of just blatant racism.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Listen.

• 3:44Andy Frisella?

  I think that's unavoidable.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Sold.

• 3:50Andy Frisella?

  According to the internet.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  I'll be there.

• 3:52Andy Frisella?

  Since we are the farthest right and the, the most missed.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:56Andy Frisella?

  I still love that.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 3:57Andy Frisella?

  I love that we were ranked number one as opposed to them. That means we're the best.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  I love it. I love it. No, it's gonna be great.

• 4:06Andy Frisella?

  If you missed this, uh, you should go back and listen to last week's CTI, the first one last week, which was Wednesday's show. Uh, go check that out. We talk about how, um, we're basically the number one podcast in the world.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. Second to, I mean, yeah, Alex Jones right behind us. You know what I'm saying?

• 4:26Andy Frisella?

  That's right. I mean, I, you know, I don't, I don't know if I can agree with that, but.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, it's crazy, man. But yeah, no.

• 4:32Andy Frisella?

  They love us over there.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  It's gonna be a good week. It's gonna be a good week. So we gotta get us started off with some heat.

• 4:37Andy Frisella?

  Some heat.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Fire.

• 4:39Andy Frisella?

  Heat.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Where there's smoke.

• 4:41Andy Frisella?

  There's, there's heat and fire.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  There's friction.

• 4:43Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Chafing.

• 4:45Andy Frisella?

  No lotion.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Let's get into it, man. I got some good ones for you guys.

• 4:51Andy Frisella?

  DJ keeps Johnson and Johnson. You know, that's his company.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:55Andy Frisella?

  Johnson and Johnson. He's sponsored by them.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  They're my dad.

• 4:57Andy Frisella?

  He's their best customer. They're your dad.

• 5:02Andy Frisella?

  They're my two dads.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what it is, man. But no, man, let's get, let's get, let's get Monday going to a good two. We gotta, let's do a call in first. Uh, let's get Adriana on the line.

• 5:13Andy Frisella?

  All right, call in right up.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Adriana.

• 5:15Andy Frisella?

  Cool. Let's do it.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Adriana.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Hi, how you doing? This is DJ. What's going on?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Not much, just finishing up a meeting. How are y'all?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Oh, sweet. We're doing sick, man. I got Andy here.

• 5:33Andy Frisella?

  Good. Adriana, hello, how are you?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Fabulous. Thank you so much for asking.

• 5:39Andy Frisella?

  All right. Is this a good time?

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, absolutely.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  How, how, how did the meeting go? The meeting good?

• 5:48Andy Frisella?

  DJ?

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, hey. No, I said, how did the meeting go?

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Uh, well, there's a reason why I asked the question I did today.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:00Andy Frisella?

  Well, let's do it.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Let's get into it then. What you got?

• 6:04Speaker 02

  So I just kinda wanted to see,

• 6:08Speaker 02

  you know, at what point do you stop pouring into something?

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Especially when it won't receive

• 6:17Speaker 02

  what I bring to the team.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Um, it, the team sees me as a leader,

• 6:27Speaker 02

  but I'm not empowered to lead by the owner.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Um, I believe in the mission.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  I'm a manager.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  I have attempted to put a lot of things in place,

• 6:42Speaker 02

  but I'm kinda at a crossroads of, you know, when is enough enough? You know, do I stop being underused here and grow where my value is honored?

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Or even I'm on a crossroad of opening up my own business?

• 7:03Andy Frisella?

  Okay, well, let me ask you this. When you say you're not empowered by the leadership to lead, what do you mean by that? Because you also said you're a manager, so I'm confused on what you're saying there.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  So I was hired as the manager.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Background, I've had 10 years of running hotels and switched career paths.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  And got into wellness and health.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  And I understood from the initial interview that me coming into

• 7:48Speaker 02

  this team was to help build, create SOPs and help grow the business.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  But as I've come into the company again, I had moved away for a few months. And then moved back.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  Because I moved out of state, but I was still always helping. And when I came back, we're hitting our two-year anniversary this week.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  And there's still no use of SOPs. There's no contracts even for us as employees. And there's just some multiple conversations about trying to

• 8:37Speaker 02

  create a background for the business so we can be successful.

• 8:43Andy Frisella?

  Have you had these discussions with your leadership?

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Yes, it's one owner. She's the doctor. I, on my third conversation.

• 8:56Andy Frisella?

  And what, how do those conversations typically go?

• 9:01Speaker 02

  They are typically very positive.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  But no follow-through.

• 9:09Andy Frisella?

  Okay. Now, when you say no follow-through, is it possible that she's waiting for you to follow-through?

• 9:17Speaker 02

  I have presented all documents. And followed up on my end.

• 9:27Andy Frisella?

  What, what are you waiting for her? What are you waiting for her to do is what I'm trying to understand?

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. Um.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  The best way for me to put it is

• 9:41Speaker 02

  that

• 9:44Speaker 02

  though I'm the manager, she won't allow me to rule anything out.

• 9:51Andy Frisella?

  So she's saying, no, don't do this, or she's saying, wait, or she, what is she's? Like macro managing? Yeah, like I'm trying to understand where the block is like, like, cause dude, a lot of times in leadership, you know, like, for example, let's say somebody would bring me a, a plan of how to do something.

• 10:12Andy Frisella?

  Well, I'm not going to do it like that's their job to do it. So I don't know if the situation is she's telling you no, or you, she's looking for you to take initiative to develop on your own. I'm trying to figure out where the block is.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  Absolutely. So what's our, our meeting today?

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Any of the initiatives that I've put forward? And have been attempting to understand.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  I was told that she was not comfortable doing that until end of year or maybe next year. When we hit our three year.

• 10:56Andy Frisella?

  Well, so you have an intermediary between you and her? Is that correct?

• 11:04Speaker 02

  No, it's me directly to her.

• 11:07Andy Frisella?

  So she's telling you, I want to wait till the end of the year?

• 11:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:12Andy Frisella?

  Is she giving you a reason why?

• 11:16Speaker 02

  She says that it is too busy to put any of the processes in place.

• 11:21Andy Frisella?

  Is that true?

• 11:24Speaker 02

  It's definitely very busy. But I don't believe we can grow unless we have these processes in play.

• 11:34Andy Frisella?

  So when you

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Because.

• 11:36Andy Frisella?

  Well, when you have these discussions, do you push back on her and say, hey, listen, if we put these in, I think we can grow faster?

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:44Andy Frisella?

  And what she said?

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Today, the line has been.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Just then, I want to put a playbook in place for the office. But use your best judgment. It's your decision. But then she does not support it.

• 12:11Andy Frisella?

  Well, do you think that it's going to work?

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 12:17Andy Frisella?

  Well, then go do it. And then you already have, you already have one foot out anyway. You're already thinking about other things. At the, at worst case scenario, you go do it and it doesn't work and you get to learn a lesson on her behalf. Like you're not going to, you don't lose. You know, first of all, let me say this. I don't think she's leading properly, but I also don't think you're doing your job properly. All right. I think there's both, there's both people at fault here. One, she's not communicating or supporting or standing up and saying, this is why we can't do this. She's not giving you clarity, which is causing you to have frustration and resentment and

• 12:59Andy Frisella?

  bitterness and question, should I even be here or not? On the other hand, I can see it from her point of view, which is she may be thinking, well, we're too busy. And dude, there could be financial issues that she doesn't want to disclose to you. It could be a re, I don't know, I don't know these things. Okay. But I can tell you this, there's been a lot of times in my business where people wanted to do things that were good ideas. And I said, Hey man, we gotta wait. And they didn't understand why. And the real reason why was because we had too much money out at the time and we had to, we had to, you know, be careful about making any investments and, and things.

• 13:39Andy Frisella?

  And so there could be, my point in saying that is there could be some hidden reasons that she's not willing to disclose that could be causing hesitation. So my advice here is, okay, you asked in the beginning about maybe going somewhere else or maybe going and starting your own business. So. If that's how you truly feel, then what do you have to lose by doing it and trying to do? And by the way, I'm not saying doing it so it fails. I'm saying doing it the absolute best that you can to try and win. Because at the end of the day, if it doesn't work, you're going to learn something and that you'll be able to take that with you.

• 14:21Andy Frisella?

  And if you take that to a new passion or a new career or a new company, you'll have that lesson in place. But it sounds like you're pretty confident that it's going to work. So it could be a really good opportunity for you to gain her complete trust. And then end up in a position where you truly do feel fulfilled and respected and appreciated. And I gotta be honest with you, okay? There's been, I could think of a lot of, every single one of my main leaders that we have here in our company.

• 14:56Andy Frisella?

  Every one of them, this situation happened along the way at one point in time. They had an idea. I didn't like the idea. I gave them the opportunity to execute the idea. The idea worked and then I started trusting them more to have more responsibility. So depending on how seasoned this woman is as your leader. She probably has a lesson to learn about that as well, because we as entrepreneurs tend to think sometimes that we're the only ones capable of doing things. And, uh, you know, we have to see someone do something to really learn to trust them.

• 15:37Andy Frisella?

  So what I actually think is here for you is I think it's a tremendous opportunity. I think it's tremendous opportunity for you to step up, for you to make some changes, for you to make the company more profitable and to earn trust, earn respect, be seen for what you actually are and what you actually do bring to the table. And by the way, I'm sure you moving away for a while has affected this. It's a, it's the ability for you to make that up too. So. I think this is a tremendous opportunity for you. If you, if you do it well, if you don't do it well, I still think it's a tremendous opportunity because you're going to learn a lesson that you're going to take with you and it's not going

• 16:19Andy Frisella?

  to personally cost you anything because otherwise you'd have to learn that lesson in your own business and that would be expensive. So my, my recommendation is, you know, hey,

• 16:32Andy Frisella?

  sometimes leadership has to be taken, not given. All right. So it's, it's, you know, every one of my great leaders of our, our great leaders here and really any of the companies that we own, they took, they took the leadership. They didn't wait to get it. They took it. And I think that's one of the biggest disconnects between, uh, you know, executive owners, operators, and employees trying to work their way up. A lot of employees have good ideas and good plans and they're afraid to bring them up. Well, and then they get mad that you don't value them for what they bring. Well, how the fuck can I value someone when I don't even know

• 17:14Andy Frisella?

  what the fuck they think in their head? So number one, they, they have to learn to bring those things to the leadership. Number two, the leadership, if they've been in it long enough, may have seen this before. They may have said, hey, we tried that back in 2017. We got our asses kicked. So if this was going to work, it would have to be different than that. And then you might have to go back and redo it. And because that person wasn't there in 2017, they might take that personally. That's not a personal thing. Then there could also be a situation where the employee has a good idea and just does it without asking anything. And that's also bad because like I said, if they, if they go back and change something without.

• 17:58Andy Frisella?

  You know, informing the leadership, they run the risk of stepping on a landmine that we've already stepped on before. So there's a way to do this and the way to do it is exactly how you're doing it minus the taking initiative. Okay. So you came up with a plan. You didn't just put it in. You went to the owner. You said, hey, this is what I think we should do. She seems like she's indecisive about whether or not she wants to do it. You feel that you're very confident, which is what she hired you to do. She hired you to make the business better. You feel very confident. So your job is to make these changes and I would, you know, do

• 18:41Andy Frisella?

  what you need to do. And yes, there's some risk to it, but is there really? Because you're going to learn either way. And that's, that's kind of, that's where I'm sitting on it. What do you think?

• 18:56Speaker 02

  I, I completely agree. I think my biggest problem is as her, the owner, I didn't want to completely overstep boundaries. Um, but I know that for her, she has had no leadership experience prior opening this business and being the doctor.

• 19:17Andy Frisella?

  Well, then she probably doesn't trust anybody to do anything. And you're going to have to show her that, that, listen, if, here's what's going to happen. If you don't show her that, that you could do this, that company will never grow or expand because she'll never trust anybody and you'll rot away in that career. So here's your options. Stay where you are and rot. Do what you think is the best. And the company grows or you do nothing and you, you waste away in a company because the ownership doesn't know how to allow people to lead. They don't know how to delegate.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. I would just think about it from this aspect too. Like the, I think the intention matters a lot, right? If you're truly trying to do something that you truly believe is going to help. You can't really go wrong with that.

• 20:06Andy Frisella?

  I mean, you can if you're stupid.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 20:09Andy Frisella?

  But she's got, she has a lot of experience. She knows, she's, she's made the plan, she's presented the plan, the owner said, hey, not right now. And then she said today, hey, uh, well, you do what you want, but I don't necessarily think we should do it right now. And that's the owner's way of having an out if it goes wrong and she can hold Adriana accountable.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:33Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Told you this wouldn't work.

• 20:35Andy Frisella?

  That's right. So Adriana's job is to go make it fucking work and make the owner kind of have to eat a little, eat a little crow. So that, so that Adriana gets the trust and the respect. And I bet after that, the to, I know after that, the tone will change, the dynamic will change between the owner and Adriana. And then she'll be free to do her job. So this could be your, your chance to get what you want and what you wanted out of this the whole time. Yeah. So you, I could tell you're sad and frustrated, but listen, man. You got nothing to lose at this point because you're already miserable, you're already thinking about doing other shit. You're already pissed off, they don't listen to you. Sometimes you just gotta do the shit and show them, you know what I mean?

• 21:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Like I've had a number of guys who in my company that got promoted that I was like, dude, why would you promote that guy? And then, and then you know what? They turned out to be awesome. You see what I'm saying? There's, I mean. Oh, yeah.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  You had to eat, eat the crow.

• 21:38Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, I don't have a problem with that because like dude, my, I'm not trying to be right, I'm trying to win.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Trying to win, bro.

• 21:44Andy Frisella?

  So, you know, I can only see the, you know, remember. The owners, they can't see the fucking front lines, man. Like, that's like the general saying they can see the front line. You can't see the front line. You don't know what's actually going on in the trenches. You have to learn to listen to those people and you have to be able to determine who's full of shit. Cause some guys and some girls will just tell you shit so their job gets easier. But you have to learn who the people you could trust are. And this is a great opportunity for Adriana to earn the trust of her ownership by going out, doing something, doing it well, making sure it works.

• 22:26Andy Frisella?

  And then that will, that will not just teach the owner, that will allow the business to scale, which will benefit all the employees.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:36Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 22:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's what I think.

• 22:43Andy Frisella?

  Can you do it?

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I definitely can.

• 22:48Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Get it done.

• 22:49Andy Frisella?

  You got nothing to lose. You got nothing to lose.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  No, I don't.

• 22:56Andy Frisella?

  All right, well, let's go do it.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  No, honestly, I'm about to go back into the room and get things going.

• 23:05Andy Frisella?

  All right, good.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Love it, man.

• 23:06Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Love it. Well, appreciate you for calling in, Adriana, appreciate it.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  No, I appreciate you guys on a little back end. I'm on 75 pounds for the second time and I've lost 100 pounds and I just appreciate everything that you guys do.

• 23:21Andy Frisella?

  Thank you so much. That's, that's, that's why we do it. It's amazing. That is, uh, that is, that is awesome news. Congratulations on that.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  No, I just greatly appreciate you, listen to you every week religiously.

• 23:36Andy Frisella?

  Thank you so much. Go out there.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  Thank you for your time, guys.

• 23:40Andy Frisella?

  If you, if you, listen.

• 23:43Andy Frisella?

  Do what you know how to do, do it the best you can, earn her trust. It'll change your whole life, it'll change her life, it'll change the employees' lives.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:53Andy Frisella?

  You actually have a duty to do it.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Yes, I do.

• 23:57Andy Frisella?

  All right. Let's go do it. Let us know how it works out.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Of course, thank you guys so much.

• 24:02Andy Frisella?

  All right, thank you.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 24:05Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  That's awesome. You know, I was thinking too, like one of the other reasons, and this may not be this situation, but

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Are there people, are there owner, operators, decision makers, entrepreneurs who are, who are simply just afraid to grow from where they are? Like they're, they're cool where they are and like growth, I guess can scare them. Is that, is that a thing?

• 24:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but it's not, yes, but it doesn't work in real life. Okay, like because it, it, it betrays the reality of the market.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:40Andy Frisella?

  The reality of the market is there's, it's always moving forward. Okay, so you're moving forward. Okay. And you decide, I like it right here.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is cool.

• 24:51Andy Frisella?

  But the market continues to move forward. People are innovating, they're trying harder, they're getting aggressive, they want to grow. Eventually, they, they, they swallow you up. So they're in business, you, there is no coast. And that's what kills people, man. They think that they get to a certain level and everything will just be all right. It's not how it works, man. Very rarely does that work and it certainly doesn't work long-term. It might work for a year, it might work for two years, but it's not going to work that long. And we see this in usually multi-generational businesses where the dad or the mom who owned the business worked very hard to grow it.

• 25:35Andy Frisella?

  The kids come in and they look around and they're like, well, fuck dude, I'm rich.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  It's cool.

• 25:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I got this business and they don't do shit and they don't try to get aggressive and they're going to the lake on Thursday and coming back on Monday and you know, walking around the office, acting like they're a big deal when all the other people are doing, carrying all the fucking water, bro. So, and then those companies lose. Like business is the most competitive fucking sport on the planet. It is way more competitive than any other physical sport. It is, the consequences are way higher because we're not talking about winning a game, we're talking about people's fucking lives. Can they eat or can they not eat? Can they go to the store or can they not go to the store?

• 26:22Andy Frisella?

  Can they have a, pay their rent or can they not pay their rent? Those are much higher consequences than winning a fucking football game. And so to think that it's not the most competitive thing, it is the most competitive thing. And if you think that you're going to come into the game and run your game half-assed. You're gonna get fucking eaten up dude. So, yes, there's owners that do that. But it never works. It is a common thing. You know, like they say, like, like.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  More common than you think it is.

• 26:57Andy Frisella?

  No, that is what they say. You see this on the internet too, bro. Like they say shit like, well, I don't want to make any more money than I make right now. But, and that's fine. Okay? Don't pay yourself anymore. But you better go to work every day and fucking work your ass off to keep your business going. You see what I'm saying? I don't necessarily need to make any more money. Okay, I get that. I, I'm not saying everybody has to be fucking Warren Buffett. Nobody, not everybody wants to drive a fucking Ferrari or a Bugatti or fucking whatever, man. Not everybody wants to live in a, a, a, a big ass house. I totally get it. But, the game is still the same. You know what I'm saying? Like, you better show up and you better be ready to go to battle.

• 27:42Andy Frisella?

  Every day. And people will say, I hate when people use the term war and battle and business. Well, fuck, have you ever done it? You know what I'm saying? Like, it, it's pretty fucking brutal, bro. I don't know of a better analogy. You know, like, you're gonna live or die because of it. You're either gonna fucking survive or you're gonna fucking starve. It takes everything you got, a hundred percent of your focus, all the time. And yeah, while it may not kill you today, it'll probably eventually kill you. I mean, that's the truth. So, I just, you know, I think people have big misconceptions about what business is really about. And, um,

• 28:20Andy Frisella?

  yeah, man, it's, it's, it's, it's fucking hard. And you better be showing up every day. I think, I think a lot of people fuck this up too, a lot of owners. Because they think only really about themselves. Like, if you want to know if an owner gives a fuck about their team, pay attention to how much they're actually in the office and how much they actually do. Do they walk around and, and know their names and ask how they're doing and find shit out about them? Do they know, like, anything about their people? Do they, are they there? Are they trying to win? You know what I'm saying? Like? I don't know. If it were me and I didn't own businesses, I would certainly want to work for

• 29:01Andy Frisella?

  someone that gave a fuck. And dude, you know, the ones that don't and usually end up losing long-term. And you know why they end up losing long-term? Because eventually they can't find anybody that's competent to work for them because all the good talent and all the good skills wants to work for a team that's actually trying to do some shit. Like dude, the, the idea that a lot of owners of businesses have that they want to attract the best talent,

• 29:30Andy Frisella?

  but also not like aggressively have a big mission to accomplish is a flawed idea. Because do you think that people that work that are the best, do you think that they just want to show up and go through the motions? That's not how they think. They think like, fuck dude, I want to, you know, I want to do something great. I want to, I want to build something awesome. I want to be a part of a winning team. I don't want to be a part of some schlub, half-assed organization that gets excited because it's Karen's fucking birthday. Oh, we got cake in the fucking cake room. No one fucking wants that. No one wants that shit.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Pizza party.

• 30:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Your pizza party day. Woo. Like no one want, I mean, pizza parties are cool, but I mean, just saying like, when you work at a company where the idea of company culture is a fucking pizza party, you know, like that's the wrong place, bro. And, uh, you know, like, that's only going to become more important with the technology changes that are happening. Because there's going to be a lot of people that won't have jobs and there's going to be a lot of people who are really good that are looking for places to build. And so I, I think there's going to be a big, uh, sort of revolution in, in all business. Uh, and I feel really good about where we're at because like, we've been doing this shit the whole time.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  That's real, man. I love it, man. Guys, let's get to our next question. We've got it right in here. Uh, let's get to question number two. Andy.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Where do you draw the line? When it comes to being ethical and wanting to make money?

• 31:04Andy Frisella?

  The fuck are you talking about?

• 31:06Speaker 01

  We'll get into it.

• 31:07Andy Frisella?

  I don't need to fucking hear the rest of the question. There, there's only one way to make money long term. It's by solving motherfuckers' problems. Okay, what's unethical about solving someone's actual problems? If you are in a business that sells something that doesn't actually solve their problem, you should look for something else to do because eventually people will figure it out. They have the ability to go on the internet and say, fuck those guys. They didn't help me. They didn't provide a service. They showed up late. They charged me too much. They bullshit in me. And then what happens after not a long time is that they go away. So you have to understand, and this is the truth.

• 31:50Andy Frisella?

  And a lot of people will always argue this because they don't understand really anything about how this works. You are paid in proportion to the value that you deliver. And that value that you deliver has to be real. You have to solve their fucking problem, whatever it is. If it's a plumber, you gotta fix the fucking leak real well. And then I would recommend maybe taking care of one or two other things that you see need to be fixed. So you can go and say, hey, man, I fixed the leak. Oh, by the way, I noticed this was squeaking. I took care of that. I did this, I took care of that. And you know what? I, I did it for free, no big deal. Anytime you need something, call me, I'll come take care of it. Then what happens is a person goes on their motherfucking phone and they say, I had Joe the plumber come to my house, man. Fuck, he was awesome, dude.

• 32:34Andy Frisella?

  Everybody should go to Joe. That's how it works. Okay, so money being made unethically is short money. It will come and it will go and you will be broke. That is reality. You cannot make money. And by the way, life is long. So it's very important that you do this the right way. Because if you don't, you will be in and out and everybody will know you're a full of shit scammer. Whether, and I'm not talking about just on the internet. I'm talking about real life.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Real people.

• 33:04Andy Frisella?

  Dude, there, there was people that went to assemble Emily's new office furniture. They showed up for one day. They assemble one table out of like 17. Then they left and they never came back. Okay, so that they will not be in business very long. You see what I'm saying? They took the whole money too, by the way. They got paid up front. So we gotta make some calls, but the point is, is that

• 33:34Andy Frisella?

  that short money is non valuable service. It's unethical. The only way to make money these days is by doing things ethical in the long term. That's it. That's fucking it.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  And so as long as you're doing that, you should have no problem taking the money. Cause I think that like, that's what this guy's asking about. So I do want to read this real quick.

• 33:56Andy Frisella?

  Well, hold on. What, what the fuck?

• 34:01Andy Frisella?

  You earned the money. You solved the problem. Dude, this is broke thinking.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, yeah.

• 34:07Andy Frisella?

  Just fucking read.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, so he's saying.

• 34:08Andy Frisella?

  I've dealt with a thousand motherfuckers like this.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  So he's saying that.

• 34:12Andy Frisella?

  Give me the money. Send it to me. I will ethically take your money.

• 34:17Andy Frisella?

  You don't want the money because you think there's something unethical about it? Bro, your thinking is fuck. I don't even have to read the fucking question.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  It's a good question. It's a fair question. Okay, it's a fair question. So he just started a, a, a yard and land service company. Okay, his business partner, they just booked their first client. She's an elderly widow living off social security.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  And the, the, the quote that they gave her was 500 bucks. They felt like that's fair for the work, right? But he's saying his gut is telling him that he needs to do it for free. Um, his business mind says, take the 500. Um, and his last side says to do it for 300 or like at some type of discount. Um, and, uh, he's asking if the, like, where's the?

• 34:57Andy Frisella?

  Don't do it for a discount. Do it for free. Sometimes you're gonna do things for free. Sometimes there's gonna be things that you do because of the right fucking thing to do.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:05Andy Frisella?

  Okay? I used to plow fucking driveways. When I didn't have any money, I'd fucking plow streets and driveways. People would fucking, the old people I'd do for free. Every fuck, cause they couldn't fucking do it.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:18Andy Frisella?

  That's what you do.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:19Andy Frisella?

  Okay? If you have a feeling in your gut that says, hey, I need to, you know, do something good, don't do it as a discount because here's the thing. She will tell all, even though you did a nice thing, she will tell everybody, oh, Steve and Bob gave me a discount. And then you'll be getting asked for a discount from fucking everybody. So do it for free or do it for full price. When I speak, I do it for free or I do it for full price. I don't do any negotiating. All right. Because I don't want the fucking deal to be top, I don't, I'm not dealing with negotiation. All right. So

• 35:58Andy Frisella?

  that is, that is not an ethical problem. That is a decision for you to make because you think it's the right thing to do. By the way, if you do the job and you take the money, there's nothing unethical about that. There's nothing unethical about that. As long as you do the best job that you can, and I bet she will still tell everybody, hey, Joe and Bob did a great job and they did it for a fair price. And, you know, so this, this is probably just, a lot of times when people start businesses, dude, it's very, very hard for them to ask for the money. I don't know what that is, but I struggle with it too.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Is it a worth thing? Like they don't know if the service or product is worth it?

• 36:41Andy Frisella?

  Yes, bro. It's like, well, here's, here's what it is. It goes back to what I was saying in the beginning of the question. Okay. We grow up being told by our families and teachers and fucking everybody we know, hey, look at that rich motherfucker. He's fucking screwing everybody. Okay. So that shit gets beaten our head. And dude, honestly, that was the case for a long time. Let me explain why.

• 37:10Andy Frisella?

  When the advertising world started 100 years ago, and it started, you know, we had television, radio, print. Okay. There was no ecosystem for feedback other than word of mouth. And word of mouth took years to spread. All right. So if you, and by the way, companies figured this out very quickly. So what they were able to do is instead of running an, an ad that was true, they could completely lie.

• 37:38Andy Frisella?

  And their products weren't what they say they were. And really what it came down to is the bigger the promise, the more sales. So, so what's that mean? That usually means the bigger the lie, the more sales. Okay, but it took people years to figure this out that this was happening. So these companies would get really fucking big. Okay. So people that are older than us would look at these rich people and say, "That guy's fucking screwing everybody." And that's where that comes from. Okay. Then business changed. When the internet came around, specifically when social media came around, there became a instant feedback mechanism that allowed customers to hold companies accountable for actually doing what they say they will.

• 38:23Andy Frisella?

  So a lot of you young people, you don't really understand that the perception of older people thinking that rich people are fucking evil and bad and this and that. And you've heard that your whole life because that was their perspective of how things were marketed. All right. That doesn't work really, that, that, that does not work now. It's complete opposite now. So, so you bit, so here's where we're at. You, a lot of people have been told that rich people are evil and they steal and they're unethical and they're this and they're that and this. And there is a lot of those still, but they only stay around for a little bit. Look at all these motherfuckers on the internet who fucking scam people. And look where they are in fucking a year from that.

• 39:06Andy Frisella?

  All right, they're usually fucking gone. And if they're not gone yet, they're gonna be gone. All right. So we're in a different era now. So all these things that you've been told about wealthy people are actually completely untrue. Because for the last 25 years, there has been accountability. There has been a requirement that if you become successful, it's because you offer a great service and you solve a great problem. And because of that, you are handsomely rewarded with money. And so now, the way the system's set up.

• 39:49Andy Frisella?

  If you are going to become wealthy, you have to have done it in a somewhat and probably highly ethical way. Okay. Now, are there exceptions like on the comments? Oh, I know, I know this one. Yeah, okay. Come back in three years and tell them where the fuck he is. All right. That is the only long-term way to win. Apple Computer is one of the biggest companies in the world. They sell a fucking laptop that's three times, four times, 10 times as much as everybody else's. You know why? Because it's fucking better. Okay? Everything's like that now because the market is so transparent, the values have have become, they they're no longer perceived, they're real. Does this make sense? Absolutely.

• 40:34Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so. Because if if Apple wasn't that good, we would know it. The shit wouldn't be selling. Would you buy? Would you buy a $3,000 laptop if you bought one that sucked? No. Okay, no, nobody else would either. That's how the fuck it works. Okay, so the best products win. That's it. And that's how it should be. So, uh, this idea that, you know, wealthy people are screwing people? No. Most of those wealthy people have provided way more value than you'll probably ever provide in your whole life. And so when you try to dog them out for being rich and successful, you look like a fucking clown. Okay, because the only way to win in today's economy is to be the real fucking deal. All right, so

• 41:19Andy Frisella?

  that caught this entire perception that your parents and your teachers and people, older people have beaten your head is inaccurate. Now, was it accurate when they grew up? Yes, but it's different now. Okay, and it's been long enough to where 99% of the companies that are alive today, that have been alive for the last decade, let's say five to 10 year minimum, I'd say 10 years, they're they they wouldn't have survived if they weren't like that. Okay, so, uh, back to the yard mowing. Um, if you feel like in your heart, you should do it because it's the right thing, do it because it's the right thing. And what's it gonna fucking take you? You know what I'm saying? Like, you're gonna feel good about

• 42:03Andy Frisella?

  it, you're gonna get some goodwill, you know, maybe she said, maybe she'll tell people that you did it for free. Uh, but what you want to avoid is the discount situation. Okay, you want to avoid. People saying, oh, oh, it's up for negotiation because they did it for half price for me. Because that will automatically devalue your services in everybody's eyes if they know it's negotiable. You either do a full price or you do it for fucking free and that's it. I love it, guys. We got one more. Let's get our third and final question. We got another caller. By the way, how do you know that that lady's not sitting on? Dude, I was thinking of- Bro, listen. Those people are rich as fuck right now. That's right, because they've, a lot of them have been smart and they've accumulated,

• 42:47Andy Frisella?

  you know, lots and lots and lots. She could be playing you, bro. She bought a house for like 20 grand and just sold it for 3 million dollars. You know, like you don't, you never know. You never, never, never know who's who. Like- And if she accepted that price, then like, cool. Yeah, she probably has a fucking gazillion dollars in the bank, bro. Right. You know, like, I'm being serious. Dude, it's real, man. You can't just feel sorry for people. You gotta, you gotta understand, man.

• 43:17Andy Frisella?

  Just because you look at someone and you think they don't have any fucking money, you're, you, you could be very wrong. Like, like when I walk around in my daily life, other than me driving a car that fucking costs like millions of dollars. Like, like if I drove a fucking Honda Accord and you saw me walking around, there's no way you could look at me and know that I have money. You see what I'm saying? That's real, bro. So, like, my dad's the same way. Like, when my dad, you know, like, was in business, he'd fucking walk around in a Harley Davidson shirt and he could afford stuff. You know, like, we used to have this dude that came in, uh, the Brentwood store that we all talked about. He'd come in and he was like, dude, uh, what do we call him? Oh, no, it was Illinois. So we call him Captain Insano, okay?

• 43:59Andy Frisella?

  And he'd come in, bro, like fucking cutoff shirt, holes in his shorts. This guy'd come in and buy five, $600 worth of shit. Loaded. Yeah, he didn't give a fuck. He'd pull out a cash wire and be like.

• 44:12Andy Frisella?

  Like Scrooge McDuck, bro. Walk the fuck out.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't judge that.

• 44:15Andy Frisella?

  No, and that's a big sales no-no. Do not judge people on how they look. Do not judge them on what car they drive. And do not judge them on what you think is expensive because you happen to. It would be expensive for you. Okay, if you do those three things, you will suck at sales. You have to present the product, ask for a fair value. And you will be successful.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  I love it, man. I love it, guys. This is our third and final call and we got one more call in for you guys. Uh, let's give our boy Josh. Give our boy Josh a call.

• 44:58Speaker 03

  This is Josh.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  Josh, what's up, my man?

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Hey, how's it going?

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Good, brother. This is DJ. I got Andy here.

• 45:04Andy Frisella?

  What's up, Josh? How you doing, brother?

• 45:08Speaker 03

  Good, how are you?

• 45:08Andy Frisella?

  We're doing good, man.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  You sounded a little happier when you heard Andy's voice.

• 45:12Andy Frisella?

  Why wouldn't he be?

• 45:12Speaker 01

  What's that about?

• 45:13Andy Frisella?

  He's racist. Clearly.

• 45:19Andy Frisella?

  Josh, where are you calling in from, bro?

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Uh, Des Moines, Iowa.

• 45:24Andy Frisella?

  Alright, well, he's definitely racist.

• 45:30Andy Frisella?

  Josh, we're just playing, bro.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  What's up, dude?

• 45:32Andy Frisella?

  What are you doing?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  I know, you guys are good. You guys are good. I'm back going a little bit, so I'm a little delayed behind trying to catch what you guys are saying, so.

• 45:43Andy Frisella?

  Are you sure?

• 45:44Speaker 01

  You're good?

• 45:44Andy Frisella?

  Are you sure?

• 45:47Andy Frisella?

  Are you sure?

• 45:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  Andy is still fucking with you. I'm sorry, guys. Josh, what you got?

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Uh, my question is, um, I'm an intramener. Um, I've been working at a, uh, Ford dealership as a technician for 10 years.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Um, busting my ass every day and, uh, I'm finally to the point where I'm, uh, doing everything really well.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  Um, and recently about six months ago, my manager approached me about doing a, uh, special skills, uh, work, uh, rebuilding, uh, transmissions. And a guy here that I, uh, supposed to learn from, he went out on, uh, paternal leave. And when he came back and found out that I was doing, uh, his line of work, um, he just turned really spiteful, um, and just stirring a bunch of drama in the shop. And when I, uh, approached my manager about, you know, he's being a little vindictive

• 47:00Speaker 03

  and, you know, uh, causing issues, uh, they basically told me, you know, we can't do anything unless, you know, HR needs to be involved. So my question is, um, I've been ignoring him, but it's not working very well. You know, I'm just kind of feel like I'm looking over my shoulder a lot, you know, wondering when the next, you know, drama or altercation is gonna happen. And I'm kind of wondering, uh, from an entrepreneur's perspective, you know, since, you know, as an entrepreneur, you can just fire the guy. From an entrepreneur, how, how can I, uh, just kind of, you know, keep pushing forward,

• 47:44Speaker 03

  keep getting better while not feeling like I'm, uh, you know, trying to dodge bullets at the same time?

• 47:50Andy Frisella?

  All right. Let me ask you a couple of questions, all right, buddy?

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:54Andy Frisella?

  All right. So can you kick his ass?

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Um, yes, and that's, uh, why my manager hasn't, uh, done anything.

• 48:04Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  Because, um, if I, if I could, if I could do what I need to do, I'd be sitting across from a middle-aged woman getting yelled at.

• 48:11Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. Listen, so we know that you kick his ass, so don't kick his ass. Yeah, don't, don't kick his ass. All right. I was just, I was just wondering. So, um, all right, man, how old are you?

• 48:22Speaker 03

  I'm twenty-eight.

• 48:24Andy Frisella?

  Okay. How old is this dude?

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Uh, he is twenty-nine.

• 48:30Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so you guys about the same age?

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Maybe thirty at this point.

• 48:32Andy Frisella?

  All right. Have you talked to?

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, one year ahead of me.

• 48:35Andy Frisella?

  Have you, have you, have you, have you confront, have you confronted him about it in a, in a decent way?

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Um, I have, I've approached him or at least, you know, attempted to, uh, you know, with a smile, respect, you know, trying to be, you know, as professional as I can. And it just met with, um, you know, a scowl.

• 48:56Andy Frisella?

  What do you say when you do, when you, when you do that? What'd you say?

• 49:01Speaker 03

  I just kind of went up to him like, hey, man, you know, like,

• 49:05Speaker 03

  I, I filled in for you while you were out, you know, having your kid. You were nice before this.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  And now that I've learned, you know, your specialty, you know, line of work and I'm, you know, obviously I'm not going to, you know,

• 49:21Speaker 03

  stop doing that work now that I've learned it. Now you, now it seems like, you know, you kind of feel like I'm stealing your job and, you know, you're being confrontive about it.

• 49:32Andy Frisella?

  What's he say?

• 49:33Speaker 03

  And

• 49:36Speaker 03

  he just, he just kind of sits there and stares at me with a, you know, a scowl on his face. And then, uh, about an hour after that, my manager came over and asked me why I was bothering.

• 49:49Andy Frisella?

  Ask you, ask you why what?

• 49:51Speaker 03

  You know, I was like, well, if he's gonna, sorry, what?

• 49:54Andy Frisella?

  Yes, your manager came over and asked you what?

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Why I was bothering him. Like I was like trying to instigate something.

• 50:02Andy Frisella?

  Got it, got it.

• 50:05Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  So he doesn't listen to the show, obviously.

• 50:08Andy Frisella?

  Who?

• 50:08Speaker 01

  The, the vindictive employee coworker. He's definitely a hoe.

• 50:14Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  What it sounds like to me.

• 50:15Andy Frisella?

  Well, you know, look, dude, this, this is common. All right. Uh, you know, a lot of people have scarcity mindset and they believe that if someone else starts to, you know, learn a skill or step into their territory, that it means it's, they're threatened by it. And, and this guy's threatened by your presence. And what he probably thinks, and you could probably confirm this, is that he thinks you're trying to take his job, like what you said in the, in the, uh, uh, what you just said a minute ago. So

• 50:54Andy Frisella?

  how I would handle this, there would be a couple step way of how I would handle this. Um, one, I would grab your manager and I would say, hey, I would like you to come to me, come with me to, what's this guy's name?

• 51:11Andy Frisella?

  But here's what I would say. I would say, hey, I would ask the manager, say, hey, will you come and kind of just stand by while I talk to we can kind of squash this cancer that's going on back here in the shop?

• 51:28Andy Frisella?

  And I would bring him over there and I would say to right in front of your manager, I'd say, hey, brother, I don't know what your problem is, but it makes me uncomfortable. I'm trying to do the best that I can. You know, we should be able to work together and we're both great at what we do. So instead of us, you know, having a bad relationship, I'd like to have a good relationship where we could be productive and do twice as much work for the company. And I would say that right in front of your manager and then we'll see how he reacts. And he'll either play ball or he'll, he'll smile a fake smile and then he'll go back and do what he was doing before. But no matter what, because your manager witnessed

• 52:13Andy Frisella?

  the conversation, there's going to be some sort of accountability if he goes the wrong way with it. So that would be my first step. My first step, you know, would just be to to have a witness conversation and dude, you need to be very respectful, very nice, willing to bury the hatchet, non-confrontational, but firm. Like, hey, I have to come to work here every day, man. So do you. There's, we spend most of our time here. We spend as much time as we here, as here, as we do with our families. There's no reason that we should have this tension or this negative atmosphere. It's not good for either one of us. My intention

• 52:55Andy Frisella?

  is not to keep, to take your job. My intention is to help you do your job and have you help me do my job so that we can both do very well. And have a conversation like that right in front of your manager and then see what happens. If it continues to happen, your manager is probably likely to do something about it. If he doesn't do something about it, then you're going to have to just come to terms with that. You have to deal with that in the workplace and that's reality. And the truth of the matter is, is like, you know,

• 53:30Andy Frisella?

  It's not like you can't give it to him back. It's not like you can't be fucking more of a smart ass than he is. So sometimes when people won't play along and they won't be cool, you have to out uncool them. And you have to get in the gutter. All right. And I don't like doing that. But sometimes it's necessary for people to earn respect. So those, those are sort of the options you have. Uh, I would definitely attempt to do it the ethical way, the right way, the nice way. But it sounds like you've been doing that. It's not happening. I would try once more the way that I described. And then after that, uh, I would either ignore it and just be a grown man and be like, this guy's a fucking clown.

• 54:14Andy Frisella?

  Almost like laugh at him for being such a douchebag. Uh, because nothing, nothing really makes bully stop more than people laughing at them for being a bully. So unless you're going to kick his ass, that'll definitely stop him. But you know, it's probably not going to be good for your career.

• 54:35Andy Frisella?

  Bullies respond well to two things, violence or becoming the clown. And, uh, you know, I think you can make him the clown. Uh, other than that dude, you know, it's, it's, um, you know, it's tough it out, be, be thick skinned or find another place to go. You know what I'm saying?

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, for sure.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  I was raised, you know, to treat everyone with respect, you know? Just to see, you know, like,

• 55:10Speaker 03

  we're all working hard, you know, I, I obviously, you know, I, as far as like stature, you know, I outworked him, but you know, it's, you know, I always treat people with respect and you know, it's, it's just kind of.

• 55:24Andy Frisella?

  I understand, but remember.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  Eye opening to see, you know, that kind of stuff.

• 55:29Andy Frisella?

  Listen, just a couple of things. One, just because you treat people with respect, doesn't mean they'll treat you with respect. Okay. Number two.

• 55:40Andy Frisella?

  You have to respect yourself also and laying down and let a motherfucker walk all over you is not self-respect. So while I, and I appreciate the fact that you were raised good, you sound like a really good dude. I've never met you before. I, I think that's how you should always behave. But there are certain instances in your life where people are going to not respect the fact that you're respecting them. And they're going to disrespect you and those situations cannot be ignored. Because that will diminish your self-worth, your self-respect, your self-esteem, and that is very harmful to you.

• 56:21Andy Frisella?

  So you, you've put enough thought into this already where it was important enough for you to call in the show. So that means it's bothering you. So the, the, the damage to your confidence and self-esteem is already happening. So you, you have to figure out a way to end this. And there are certain times in your life where standing up for yourself is very uncomfortable. And this sounds like it's one of them for you, but I can promise you that once you do, and if you do it the right way and it works, you're going to feel really good about yourself. I've had very few situations in my life that I haven't been able to resolve with that kind of a conversation. Like, hey, bro, listen, I'm on the same fucking team as you, dude.

• 57:05Andy Frisella?

  Like, I'm trying to do good. You're trying to do good. I'm trying to provide for my family. You're trying to provide for your family. You're good at what you do. I'm good at what I do. Can't we just work together and help each other be better? Like, wouldn't that make it a lot easier than coming in here every day with a negative attitude? Like, that's, I've been able to handle almost every single person that's ever had a problem with me in that same way. Because dude, once they take a step back and realize that you're not going to engage in their bullshit, they, they, they change their tune. So.

• 57:38Andy Frisella?

  And, uh, you know, it's, it's biblical, bro. Like, you know, Jesus says it. He says, love your enemies. And when you love your enemies, man, they usually end up becoming your friends. And, uh, they, you know, some of these people have been treated so poorly in their lives that they just expect to battle every time someone steps on their toes a little bit or even gets close to them. And, and real talk, dude, I'm guilty of that. You know, I've been, I've been treated very poorly by a lot of people throughout my life. And so sometimes when people get close to me or even in my, I get very aggressive and defensive about it. And I've had to learn how to not do that. So I can relate to someone kind of like this guy a little bit.

• 58:23Andy Frisella?

  So I, I think you'll be able to, to resolve it with that kind of conversation. And if you can't, you're still going to have to stand up for yourself. And, and instead of going in and, and being physical, um, you know, you could do it with your brain by outwitting them and outsmarting them and just making them feel like an idiot.

• 58:44Andy Frisella?

  You there?

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Yep. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah.

• 58:48Andy Frisella?

  What do you think?

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Um, you know, I think I've kind of already exhausted option one. Um, and you know, I've been talking with my significant other, you know, kind of come to the conclusion of, you know, ignoring him.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  And it just seems like it's not working. I'm just got to, you know, kind of deal with it like you said. But I just, you know, kind of need to hear it from, you know.

• 59:14Andy Frisella?

  Bro, if he, if he's gonna go, if that's where you are, that's where you are, bro. You know, like, I'm not, I don't want to be an asshole, but like, if I have to be, I want to be the biggest motherfucking asshole on the planet. I'm going to out asshole you. I promise you that. So that's.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  Right, right. I just need to come to terms with not feeling terrible about doing that.

• 59:34Andy Frisella?

  No, bro, because you've given him chances. You've given him chances, bro.

• 59:40Andy Frisella?

  And, and this is about respecting yourself, man.

• 59:44Andy Frisella?

  So I understand it's hard for people like you, but like, dude, there's just people out there that are, that are,

• 59:52Andy Frisella?

  they're fucked up. So, um.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're too far gone. You can't do anything to get them back.

• 59:57Andy Frisella?

  That's right. That's right, man. And that's why I like punch them in the face sometimes verbally.

• 1:00:06Andy Frisella?

  Right now, he probably thinks you're a pushover. He probably thinks, oh, I could say whatever I want to Josh, he ain't gonna do shit. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Well, he's scared to even come talk to me. My manager told me that, so.

• 1:00:20Andy Frisella?

  Wow.

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  But as far as, you know, him constantly trying to get in my way and causing trouble.

• 1:00:28Andy Frisella?

  He ain't that fucking scared if he keeps talking shit.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:00:34Andy Frisella?

  I can tell you this, bro, I don't deal with that shit. You talk shit to my face, say whatever you want to my fucking face. But if I catch you running your mouth out there behind my back, we're gonna have an issue. And I have that policy inside my companies. Like, we're not gonna have cancer here. If you wanna come to me and sit in my office and tell me I'm a piece of shit, I will hear it. And I will hear it calmly, and we can have a talk. But you go out there and I find out you've been doing that, you're out. So, you know. I, look, man, I think you know what you gotta do. And unfortunately, um, you know, it sucks. But actually, I think after you do it, you'll probably, I think if you stand up for yourself, the sky will end up respecting you. That's the truth.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Probably become best bro.

• 1:01:19Andy Frisella?

  That, that usually happens, dude. Every time I've ever had to do this with someone, we've ended up getting closer because of it, which is the weirdest thing ever.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:28Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Sweet, man. Well, Josh, we appreciate you, brother. Hope it all works out for you, man.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Oh, appreciate it. Appreciate you guys taking my call.

• 1:01:36Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. Go handle business. You'll be good. Don't beat him up.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  I'll try not to.

• 1:01:42Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  That, that's such a crazy thing. Cause I was like, well, I mean, what do you want me to do? Like, you want me to demote myself, go back to doing the, the, the low level technician shit, like to make you feel better?

• 1:01:53Andy Frisella?

  It's hard.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Lower your shine, man.

• 1:01:55Andy Frisella?

  You know, look, dude, I think a lot of people, he sounds like a really nice guy.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, he does.

• 1:01:59Andy Frisella?

  And a really well-mannered, good-character man.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Good value, you got a good, ideal boy.

• 1:02:04Andy Frisella?

  But also, a good-character man stands up for shit when it's fucking wrong.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:09Andy Frisella?

  Okay? That's part of having a strong, good character. A strong, good character does not mean just be nice all the time. It means, you know, be, treat people really good, but match their energy too. Like, if they fuck with you, you fuck with them harder. And that's part of like, that's part of it.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  That's a universal karma.

• 1:02:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and it feels bad when you, when you wanna be a good man. That doesn't feel good. You know, like. Like for example, just an unrelated example.

• 1:02:39Andy Frisella?

  Let's say the fucking power went out. And you know me, I don't like killing animals. I'm not an animal. I love animals. But I can promise you, if I had to, I would have zero issue killing fucking anything in order to have my family eat. You gotta eat, bro. It wouldn't, and I wouldn't think twice about it. Come here, baby. That, it is what it is. It is what it is. It's called the fucking natural order. And as long as we have the luxury of not being in natural order, that's fine. I'll be peaceful. But when natural order becomes the order, we as men have to transform into those kind of men. And part of having a strong character is being able to do that. And that includes standing up for yourself when people are unreasonable.

• 1:03:24Andy Frisella?

  Okay, and when you pride yourself on being a good man and being nice to people and treating people with respect, that's very difficult because you know that it's unnecessary. But that guy doesn't. And we get in ourselves, like there's been a lot of good men killed, legitimately killed by people who

• 1:03:47Andy Frisella?

  we projected our goodness onto them. There are bad people. Oh yeah. There are evil people. There are people that don't give a fuck and don't hold the same value system that you do. And you have to be able to understand that. And people that don't end up learning very painful lessons. You think everybody's as honest as you. You think everybody's as real as you. You think everybody's as genuine as you. You're making a big mistake. Okay? Because if you think that, the ones that aren't will get close to you and they will hurt you in many different ways. So you have to understand this. Not just because, because dude, I think most of the people listening to the show here are very, very good people.

• 1:04:32Andy Frisella?

  Part of you being a good person is being smart enough to recognize when other people aren't. And you cannot give them the benefit of the doubt. It's danger, it's dangerous. Dangerous. Dangerous to you. It's dangerous to your family.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  That's real, man. That's fucking real, man. Guys, Andy, that's three. That's some heat for the week, man.

• 1:04:51Andy Frisella?

  Yep, yep. Hey, that's a new one. Heat for the week.

• 1:04:53Speaker 01

  Heat for the week, baby.

• 1:04:55Andy Frisella?

  All right, guys. Don't be a hoe.