880. Real Talk: The Greatness Standard

On today's Real Talk, Andy talks about how greatness can never be achieved by doing “just enough” or what’s expected of you, and the best ways to exceed expectations of the normal external standards to break through mediocrity.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to mother freaking reality. That's the new rules, I can't say the F word. Ain't that right?

• 0:33Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 0:33Andy Frisella?

  Alright, today, as promised, we have a real talk. Before we get into that though, I do want to address something. I witnessed a comment on Monday's episode that talked about how the MFCEO project has been massively delayed, and it's actually pretty funny, because whoever made the comment said, "We don't know what's going to come first, GTA 6 or the MFCEO?" And I just want to let you guys know that I recognize that that is true, but I will also tell you that when you see what we've created, you are going to

• 1:15Andy Frisella?

  be blown away, alright? And the truth of the matter is, is if we started this project probably three or four times from scratch over to deliver what we feel is going to be the greatest personal development podcast ever. So, while I know you guys are excited and I know some of you are getting a little frustrated, just know that we are delivering something to you that is, it's going to be fucking amazing, alright? So, just want to reassure you guys, this isn't something that we're taking lightly, you know, this is something that I truly care about, it's something that is

• 1:58Andy Frisella?

  important to me. When we talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion, I want to make sure that we were doing everything that we could properly to make sure that we are helping Become the best version of themselves, not just for themselves, but for the culture. All right. For your household, for your community, uh, for your state and for the country, man. We can't fix things if we don't fix ourselves and there's a way to do that right. And then there's a way to deliver it kinda right. And if you know anything about me, kinda right is just not going to be the way that I'm going to launch it. So I do apologize for it taking a while, but trust me, when it launches, you're going to be very excited. So, uh, and, and you know, that's pretty consistent with GTA six too, I think, right?

• 2:43Andy Frisella?

  So it's an accurate comment, but guys, today I wanted to give you a real talk. All right. I've been promising you guys, real talks. I've been promising you that, uh, we were going to get more into that. And I've got one for you today that I think is very important, especially for, uh, you young guys who are out there listening, who need to understand a few things. One, we are coming out of an era where mediocrity has been promoted very heavily. And we have to understand that the reason that mediocrity has been promoted very heavily is because they want you to be a victim. They want you to be helpless. They want you to think that the standard at which you are held in your external environment

• 3:29Andy Frisella?

  is excellence and it's not. Okay? No great person that ever existed on the face of this earth ever became great by just living to the standard of the external environment of which they were required. All right. And what does this mean? This means when you go to your job or you go to your sports practice, or you do whatever it is you're trying to do, the standards that are expected of you are not the standards that create greatness. Okay? High performers hold themselves to a higher standard than the one that they are given. All right. That's the separator between great people and average people.

• 4:13Andy Frisella?

  That's the separator between earning a living and becoming wealthy. That's the separator between nobody knowing who you are and every single motherfucker on the planet knowing who you are. It's about exceeding the external standards. Okay? And when we think about great people and we think about greatness, some of the people that I admire are people like Kobe Bryant. All right. Michael Jordan, Tom Brady.

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  And none of those people lived up to the expectations, okay? Kobe Bryant worked exponentially harder than what the Lakers expected of him. Tom Brady, he worked exponentially harder than what the Patriots expected of him. Okay, Michael Jordan, the same way. He's famous for being the first guy at practice and starting with chest passes. All right, think about this. This guy's so obsessed with being great that he starts and perfects every single practice. No matter how great he's been, no matter how many championships he's won, no matter how many MVPs,

• 5:21Andy Frisella?

  he starts with the basics to become great at the basics and builds from there. Okay, these people are legendary because they understood something that a lot of people don't. They understand that what is expected of you from the outside world is the price of admission to the game. This is not exceptional and we live in a culture where we are being taught that just doing what is basic, showing up, getting it done, showing up on time. We have people brag about these things and we've all heard this, right? I show up on time, I work hard, I, you know, do what I'm supposed to do.

• 6:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, that's why it's called what you're supposed to do. That does not create wealth, that doesn't create achievement, that doesn't create greatness. And we have been propagated over the last 15 or 20 years to believe that just because we show up, we are owed the results of greatness without living to the standards of greatness. All right, so we have to set that expectation in ourselves. People who become great understand very clearly that they have to exceed the framework of expectations that are put upon them at their job, in their relationships, in their community, at their sport, at whatever it is that they do.

• 6:49Andy Frisella?

  You will never become great doing what's expected of you. You will only become great by holding yourself to a much higher standard than that. Okay? You can't win any other way. And it doesn't matter what your teachers say. It doesn't matter what your parents say. It doesn't matter what your friends say. I'm telling you right now, if you want to live a great life, if you want the world to recognize you as great, if you want to make a lot of money, if you want to make an impact, you have to hold yourself to a standard that is far beyond what everybody else holds of you. Okay, and that's going to come with criticism. That's going to come with people saying, hey, man, you know, why you work so hard? Hey, you know, you don't have to do that.

• 7:33Andy Frisella?

  Hey, uh, you know, you need to take a break. Yeah, motherfucker, if I want to be like you, that's what I need to do. But the reality is, is that's not you. And I know that's not you because you wouldn't be listening to this podcast if it was. Okay, so we have to understand the external standard keeps us average. The internal one is the one that makes us elite. All right. It's the bare minimum to live up to what other people expect of you. And you will look crazy. You will look obsessed. You will look like you're doing things that are beyond the reasonable expectation. And that's because you are. Because greatness is rare.

• 8:17Andy Frisella?

  All right, and when you're living to these other standards that people put on you, you have to understand that that's their ceiling. They're trying to get you to operate in a way that produces the result that they want. And you will never find someone who will hold you to the standard of greatness the way that you can. They don't have your own interests in mind. They have their interests in mind. And the sad truth is, is that most people care about themselves and they don't care about you. They want you to function in a way that gets their job done without actually creating greatness in you. Okay? So you have to understand dude, if you let their standards become your bar for success,

• 9:02Andy Frisella?

  you can never be great. You'll never find out what you're actually capable of. You will live an average life with an average income, with an average everything, and that might be okay for you. That might be what you want, but that's not going to create greatness. All right. If you keep looking for someone to tell you to do more, or to do extra, or to hold you to a standard, you're not going to become great dude. It's gonna have to come from inside you. You have to understand that this is really what you're about, and it's really what you want, because nobody else is gonna hold you to this. All right. The ones that win, they do the shit that nobody asks them to do.

• 9:44Andy Frisella?

  All right. And they don't do it because they're trying to produce a result for the person that's asking them to do things. They do it because they have an internal drive, an ambition, a hunger to be fucking great, to be better than everybody else. That is okay. It is okay to want to be better than everybody else around you. Society teaches us that, "Oh, well, you know, what are you trying to do? You're trying to forget where you came from?" Or, you know, "Hey, you know, I noticed you changed." Yeah, motherfucker, that's the fucking point. The point is to change. The point is to become better.

• 10:24Andy Frisella?

  The point is to live the life that you want, not the bare minimum of what somebody else wants. Okay, so your standard has to live inside of you. It has to be in your heart, it has to be in your blood, and it has to be in your fucking soul, and it has to be the way that you live. You cannot live any other way if you want to be great. It's about how you move when no one's watching. It's about how you work when you're not gonna get applause. It's not about what you do on Instagram. It's about what you do in reality, okay? When the lights are off, and everybody else has gone home, and everybody else is taking a break, and everybody else is just doing whatever they are gonna do, what are you doing then?

• 11:09Andy Frisella?

  Because that's going to determine what your life outcome is. And the reason I say this, because to a lot of you, this is obvious. But the reason I point this out is because a lot of you younger people, under the age of 25, you've been taught that it is just about showing up on time and doing the job and going home five minutes after the clock and saying, "I stayed it late." No dude, if you want to be great, if you want to get paid, if you want to build something that matters, create something that impacts people, to live a life that you're proud of and fulfilled of,

• 11:50Andy Frisella?

  you have to understand, you're not working for the approval of others. You are honoring the internal identity of the badass motherfucker that lives inside of you that you are too afraid to let the world see, okay? The real ones out here, they don't wait to be pushed, alright? They fucking push themselves, alright? You can't build power, you know, on borrowed discipline and borrowed expectations and the standards of others. You have to decide, what is it that I want? And then you have to set the bar so fucking high that the world's expectations feel like a fucking nap, alright?

• 12:30Andy Frisella?

  So that's it guys, you have to understand, greatness does not come from doing what you're supposed to do. It also doesn't come from being like everybody else. It doesn't come from, you know, living the life that everybody else wants you to live. It comes from you deciding what you actually want and you saying, "I am willing to do whatever the fuck it takes to create that, no matter how hard, no matter how long, no matter what I have to go through, I will fucking get there." And then, on your day-to-day standard, you have to live to that in your actions. It's not enough to visualize, it's not enough to talk about it, it's not enough to post about it.

• 13:15Andy Frisella?

  It's, you have to live it. It has to come from your heart, it has to come from your soul. And you can't worry about what everybody else is going to think about it. Because if everybody else is your-

• 13:28Andy Frisella?

  Barometer for approval, you're gonna end up living just like they live, which is the whole fucking thing you're trying to avoid. Alright? So guys, if you want to be great, if you want to create big things, if you want to build awesome things, if you want to impact the world and you want to make money and you want to do everything that great people do, you have to understand that living to the standards of the expectations of other people will never get it done. You have to exceed those and you can't just exceed them by a little bit. You have to exceed them by a gazillion miles and you have to do that every motherfucking day. It has to be your identity. You can't just fake it. If you fake it,

• 14:12Andy Frisella?

  you'll end up being one of these people that says, "Well, I tried really hard." Well, no one gives a fuck how hard you tried, man. That, that doesn't matter. What matters is what you did, what you produced. And the only way to do big things and produce big things is to hold a higher standard for yourself than anyone else holds on you. Now, let's talk some tactics. Alright? How do we do this? How do we get better? How do we hold a higher standard for ourselves? How do we increase expectations? Alright, it's very simple. You have to learn to adhere to the plan that you set out no matter what.

• 14:53Andy Frisella?

  That's the first thing you gotta have. That's why I developed Live Hard and 75 Hard. If you haven't done that program, you need to go fucking do it. Because it's gonna give you an unfair advantage over everybody else. Everybody else is living life, having the circumstances of their life dictated to them by outside environments, you know, outside variables, conditions.

• 15:19Andy Frisella?

  If the weather's bad, I can work out. If the pizza shows up, oh fuck, I'll start tomorrow. If the beer shows up, oh, you know what? I'll just have two. They have no control over their environment and because they have no control of their environment, they're not able to follow through on any plan. So the first thing you gotta do is you have to become a disciplined human being. And I'm not talking a little discipline. I'm talking 100% discipline. In control of your environment and your actions at all times. That's what the live hard program's about. Okay, so if you haven't done it, go do it. You get it for fucking free at episode 208 on the audio feed. All right? Go do it. It'll give you the biggest unfair advantage you could ever have.

• 16:03Andy Frisella?

  And then after you've developed this discipline, or while you're developing the discipline, you need to put a lot of thought into where you want to be. Where do you want to be? What are you trying to do? Most people put more effort into making their plans for the weekend than they do for who they want to be and become and create in their life. And when I say it like that, it sounds ridiculous, but tell me that's not true. That is the fucking truth. Okay? So, don't be like that. Pick out where you want to be. Where do I want to be? I want to be this. And then work yourself backwards as good as you can into living as you are that person already. Meaning, adopt their habits. Adopt their work ethic.

• 16:48Andy Frisella?

  Do the things they do. Role model their behavior. All right? To become something, you have to pretend you're that thing in terms of your behavior before you actually become it. All right? So, pick out what you want. Work backwards and behave as if that person is standing right fucking next to you, telling you what to do. Is the person that you admire the most? The person you want to be like the most? Going to be proud of your actions and the way that you're living? If they're standing right next to you 24 hours a day? That is a great barometer of your own success. Would Kobe Bryant respect you for your work ethic?

• 17:34Andy Frisella?

  I ask myself that all the time. Would Tom Brady respect my work ethic if he's standing right next to me? That's how you do this, okay? That's how you should think of these things. Now, if you do those things, if you develop the ability to adhere to a plan, you decide where you want to go, and then you keep the pressure on yourself day by day by day, you will become one of these people that everybody remembers. You will become a high earner. You will become someone who creates greatness. And maybe it's not money. Maybe it's, I just want to be great at jujitsu. Or maybe it's just, I want to be great at guitar. Whatever it is you're trying to be great at, that is the way you should think about it. Okay?

• 18:17Andy Frisella?

  We have an obligation to live at a high standard and set the example for people around us. Because there are going to be people that win or lose in life based upon what they see you do. And you may not think that you're that important, but I assure you, no matter where you are in your life, you have friends, you have family, you have people close to you who are going to look at you and then decide what is possible for themselves. And if we really believe in changing things, if we really believe in creating a better society, the responsibility falls on us as individuals to create that example. Okay? So it's not just about you. It's not just about the outcome for you.

• 19:01Andy Frisella?

  It's about what will people do if they see me do what I'm doing? Will they lay down and accept mediocrity and be an average motherfucker? And never inspire anybody and be fat and be lazy and be unproductive and be poor? Or will those people see me do what I'm doing and become fucking great? That's the underlying point. All right? So listen, understand this. The expectations of everybody else will cost you everything. You've got to set your own. You've got to become what it is you know you can become. You've got to let that motherfucker that lives in your heart, man,

• 19:43Andy Frisella?

  that nobody knows about, that you know you're supposed to become, but you're afraid to. You've got to let that motherfucker out. You've got to let him out. All right? I love you guys, I appreciate you guys. And I'll see you next time.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  We from sleepin' on the floor, Now my jury box froze. Fuck a pole, fuck a stove, Counted millions in the coke. Bad bitch, booty swole, Got her on bankroll. Can't fold, just a no. Headshot, case closed.