854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to not be cocky when you start winning in business, how to achieve happiness while staying ambitious about your big goals, and how to create proper boundaries in your professional world.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists saying goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is- Guys, email these questions into [email protected]. Or go on YouTube in the comments section of the Q and A F episodes, drop your question in the comments. We'll choose some from there as well. Uh, if you're new, we don't just do Q and A, okay? We've got shows within the show, alright? Tomorrow you're gonna hear CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet.

• 0:57Andy Frisella?

  This is where we, uh, cruise the internet. We put topics up on the screen. We talk about what's going on. We speculate on what is true and what is not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes, we're gonna get a real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. You might call it a rant. I call it what you need to hear. Uh, and then we have 75 Hard Verses, okay? 75 Hard Verses is where people who have completed the 75 Hard Program come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 Hard Program to extinguish the dumpster fire of their life. Alright, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard,

• 1:40Andy Frisella?

  it is the world's premier mental toughness program. It's the most popular mental toughness program in the history of earth, okay? And it happens to be just the first phase of the Live Hard Program, which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the Real AF audio feed, which is available anywhere audio podcasts are, okay? There's also a book. You can get the book at andyfrisella.com. It's called- The book on mental toughness. It includes the entire live hard program plus a whole bunch of extra content. On mental toughness, why it's important, how to utilize it to change your life.

• 2:21Andy Frisella?

  Okay, and you can get that at andyfrisella.com. It is not free, but it has a ton of useful info that you will not find on episode 208, but if you just want the program, you can get it for free. Episode 208 on the audio feed. Now, we have something that we do a little different here. We don't run ads. We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. Okay, um, in exchange for that, we do ask something. I don't ask for your money. I ask very simply that you help us grow the show. All right. So if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective and something that you think people need to hear. Do us a solid. Don't be a hoe.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 2:57Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  What's up dude? What's going on? Uh, you know, I was thinking, we got MFCEO coming back. And like, I don't think I've reacted like, where did, where did the name come from? Like, how did you come up with MFCEO?

• 3:10Andy Frisella?

  Uh, it's actually a funny story. So

• 3:14Andy Frisella?

  there was a commercial many, many, many years ago that you can still find on YouTube.

• 3:22Andy Frisella?

  That K Swiss did with Kenny Powers.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  The shoe brand.

• 3:25Andy Frisella?

  Okay. Yeah. K Swiss, the shoe brand.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  I had some K Swiss back in my day.

• 3:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I bet you did. And the, the, uh,

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  the gist of the commercial is that Kenny Powers is the CEO of K Swiss.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:40Andy Frisella?

  And, uh, the opening line of the, of the video is, uh, konnichiwa. I'm Kenny Powers and I am the new motherfucking CEO of K Swiss.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 3:50Andy Frisella?

  All right. So back then, my employees, uh, because I like to curse, especially when I'm giving passionate speeches to our team. Started calling me MFCEO and they got me a shirt that said MFCEO and I started wearing the shirt and when we decided that we were going to create a podcast, we just decided to call it that MFCEO project and the reason it was called a project was because we were trying to create a whole bunch of other MFCEO to take control of their lives, you know, have a little swagger, learn how to win, make some money, be a good person and have fun

• 4:34Andy Frisella?

  doing it. So that was where the name came from.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  I do like it.

• 4:37Andy Frisella?

  And it stuck. I mean, like, fuck dude, I'm pretty sure more people know me as that than they know of that commercial.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. No, I think that's a fact. That's a fact. I do have a question. Why'd you say, uh, you bet I wore K Swiss? What was it? You said you bet I wore K Swiss?

• 4:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 4:54Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, you're, you know, you're a little bit light and a twinkle toes. You know what I'm saying? You know, I'm just saying.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  That is, that's, okay. No, that's cool though. Um, no, I accept because like dude, like I feel like most people, they, they're, they're, at least maybe it's an old level of thinking, but like most people look at business and see it as such this like dry thing. And I feel like, you know, when I see you, you don't see that at all. You see life, you see fucking passion, you see dry, like you don't really see that a lot, I guess, but business now is a whole different, other thing.

• 5:24Andy Frisella?

  Look, man, nobody wants to come work with some dry turd, okay? Who's been sitting out in the sun and you're going to go pick it up with a fucking grocery bag and it crumbles in your hand. That is the epitome of most leaders in corporate America and nobody wants to work like that. So I've just always kept it real, bro.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:45Andy Frisella?

  I say what I think, I think what I say, uh, I communicate the way I communicate and sure, there's been some people that didn't like it, but guess what? It's my fucking business. I run it the way I want. And if you don't want to work here, you don't have to. So the people here sort of reflect that mentality. Now, everybody might not be, you know, the same way I am, which they're not. But they appreciate the realness and authenticity and who I am on this show is who I am in real life. Any of you guys that ask my close friends, because I hear this all the time, is you really like? Yes, I'm really fucking like that. This is how I talk in real life and I just don't know any other way to be, bro. Like every other time I've tried to like clean it up or be a little shit.

• 6:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I fucked. I fucked up and, and I got some advice one time. I don't know. This was like five or six years ago from somebody that I respected who told me, you know, when you go on stage and you do that, you know, it's just, it's not a good look and you know, you need to clean it up. And then I tried to clean it up, dude, and like I sucked and like, dude, I just, I just have found that authenticity is the most important aspect, true authenticity. You may not be like me. It doesn't like a lot of people hear authenticity and they think you gotta curse or you gotta talk loud or you gotta be this, you're trying to manufacture

• 7:10Andy Frisella?

  a version of authenticity that someone else is showing you, which means it's inauthentic to you. And so true authenticity, in my opinion, is the most important and effective leadership tool that one can have. And I also think it's the most important and effective branding tool that one can have. And we see this online. Like I see a lot of you guys trying to create a personal brand. You're trying to, I mean, dude, my, my personal brand is so strong. I don't even have to fucking post. Okay. And the reason that is, is because it's super authentic to me. I'm my own thing.

• 7:51Andy Frisella?

  And a lot of you guys, you see a version of something from someone else and you try to make that you into that version because you admire that person. And what ends up happening is you're really just a watered down, not as good version of that, and it gets no attention. And what people have to understand about authenticity, which is, you know, the basis is that we all are built with our true authentic being inside of us. And most people are too afraid to ever let anyone see that because.

• 8:29Andy Frisella?

  It's not in line with who everybody else already thinks they are.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:33Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  They would rather risk trying to be like somebody else.

• 8:37Andy Frisella?

  It's not just that, bro. You gotta understand. They come through school. They go through grade school. They go through junior high. They go through high school. And what is the natural process through that? Well, the natural process through our schooling system is to fall in line or you're an outcast. Okay? Be like everyone else or you're not cool. Be like these people or you don't have any friends at the lunch table. So we start to learn this idea of conformity very early in life. And when we're little, people say, oh, you could be anything you want. You could do anything you want. You can build, you could be president. You could. And as we grow up, right? You can sort of see this. In grade school, your teachers

• 9:21Andy Frisella?

  might say, well, yeah, you know, DJ, you could be president. You get to junior high and they're like, well, you could be, but you know, you've got to have this and this and this. And then by high school, they're like, you need to be more realistic. You're gonna turn wrenches or whatever they say, which by the way, some of my best friends and most talented people that I know turn wrenches for a living. And, and they're, so it's not a knock.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:43Andy Frisella?

  But the point is, is that you get talked out of your own belief and your own authenticity and your own dreams for conformity that is forced. And that's why people have such a hard time ever developing or even knowing or discovering who they are as a person. And for you to develop an authentic brand, the best thing I can give you, dude, the best piece of advice that I can give you is to let it fucking rip, dude. Whatever, whatever comes out of your mouth, however it comes out of your mouth, whatever you're thinking, just let it go out. And your product will develop over time if you, if you, if you follow that play, but.

• 10:31Andy Frisella?

  To start it in the first place, to ever have a good authentic product for a personal brand has to start with you knowing who you truly are. And we all know who we truly are, but we all don't have the courage to allow the world to see that. It's this little idea that we have inside of our heart, this little version of ourselves that, you know, we, we sort of imagine and fantasize about and think about that we're like, man, if anybody really knew this, I'd be the greatest of all time at this. But we don't let it out because we're afraid of what we've been conditioned behaviorally to, to understand, which is conformity wins. And in reality, conformity doesn't win. It's authenticity. So it's counterintuitive to

• 11:15Andy Frisella?

  what people grow up with and the culture and conditioning that they deal with through the schooling process. And that's why people have such a hard time understanding what authenticity really is and even harder time expressing that. So, uh, you know, a lot of you guys building a personal brand or you want to have people want to follow you. Um, you need to develop this truly authentic version of yourself because dude, people know when they're getting it and they can feel it. It's an energy and whether it's, you know, got the language that they like or not, it doesn't matter because authenticity is the ultimate competitive advantage because no one else can be your authentic self. So if

• 11:59Andy Frisella?

  you're trying to be like everybody else and you're trying to be a different version of Andy or Goggins or fucking Jaco or whoever you might look up to, all you are is a watered down version of that, which doesn't get the attention because the real version is that much better. So what version of you is actually you, lay that out there and then continue to develop upon that. And that is how you become successful leader and build a brand that people resonate with.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love it, man. I call that a little extra sauce right there, bro.

• 12:30Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, it's, it's something that I see a lot of you guys struggling with. Quite, quite honestly, like I don't, I could come on here and be like, yeah, you guys all suck. But that's not it. It's, it's not that you suck dude. Like you look, you guys are trying to do little content reels and you're getting no views. It's not res- Because all you're doing is repeating the shit that other people that you look up to have said and the people that follow you have already heard it from that person.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  They know that.

• 12:58Andy Frisella?

  Yes. And they might not say that. They might not say, hey, you know, so and so says that, or so and so does that. But they've already seen it dude. They've never seen the authentic you. So like, the biggest piece of advice that I could give someone is just to be who the fuck you are because that version is not copyable by other people when it's authentic. There's no one out there that can do me better than me. Fucking no one. Tell me someone out there.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  No, yeah, no.

• 13:27Andy Frisella?

  You can't do it.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Doesn't exist.

• 13:28Andy Frisella?

  Okay. There's nobody out there that can do Jaco better than Jaco. There's nobody out there that can do Gary Vee better than Gary Vee. There's no one out there that can do Goggins better than Goggins. There's no one out there that can do anybody better than the original version of that person's authenticity and that applies to you as well. So if you want to know why you're struggling, ask yourself an honest question. Am I actually communicating and being and, and developing who I really am? Or am I trying to be a version that I have consumed from someone else?

• 14:07Andy Frisella?

  At some point in time, because if it's the second part, you're always going to struggle. And if you're authentic and you keep developing your authentic uh, personality and delivery and language and who you are, that will eventually become your competitive advantage. Like, that's what it is.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  That's how it is, man. I love it. I love it, man. Well, it is Monday, dude. So let's make some people better. Let's make some people better, man.

• 14:30Andy Frisella?

  Let's do it. You caught me with a drink in my mouth.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Oh, it's fine.

• 14:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good.

• 14:35Andy Frisella?

  Which by the way, I don't have one of these, uh-

• 14:39Andy Frisella?

  First form energies in a while.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  And he's about to become.

• 14:42Andy Frisella?

  Since about an hour ago.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  I start punching some holes in drywall, baby. That green one's dangerous.

• 14:50Andy Frisella?

  Bro, it's diet Mountain Dew, dude.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  You gotta be careful.

• 14:53Andy Frisella?

  And I love diet Mountain Dew. But you gotta remember, the only the regular full Mountain Dew is the one that makes you punch holes. That's where, that's where they cut out.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  Full throttle.

• 15:03Andy Frisella?

  That's why it's called diet.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 15:04Andy Frisella?

  They cut out the whole punching.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  So you still want to, you just don't.

• 15:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get it. That makes sense. I like it, man.

• 15:10Andy Frisella?

  Well, anyway, you guys wanna, uh, support the show? You guys always ask, how can we support? You could support by sharing the show, which a lot of you do, but a lot of you don't do. Motherfuckers.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 15:22Andy Frisella?

  Hoes.

• 15:24Andy Frisella?

  You can also buy these first form energy drinks, meat sticks, and protein bars at your local convenience store. And if they don't have it at your local convenience store, you can say, what the fuck are you guys doing? That's how you help us out.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  That's it. That's the way to do it, man. Well, that being said, I got three good ones for you guys. Let's knock these out. Guys, Andy. Question number one.

• 15:45Andy Frisella?

  It's so good.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  It is good, man. It's good. Uh, guys, question number one. Hey, Andy. Hope you guys and team are doing good and kicking ass. My question today is, how can I avoid being cocky? Once I start doing good, uh, and on a parallel path to winning? Uh, because I saw a lot of people fall off once they start winning a little, or even win once, like ten growers says. I've been doing good lately and been making great progress and I'm gonna start getting paid more in the next coming months. And I need your advice on how I can manage that, manage my finances in my life on that. Um, I don't wanna feel like I'm at the top of the world because of the high testosterone a 20-year-old would have, just because I'm doing it, doing good for a couple of months.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Uh, started 75 hard, um, and started being more focused and I regimented as I can be, but I failed twice because I didn't hit my mark of, uh, drinking a gallon of water. Your advice and impact is greatly appreciated and I love what you and your team do, because you're really shaping the next generation of men in society. How not to fuck up the path you're trying to go on, Andy? How do you do it?

• 16:52Andy Frisella?

  You are 20 years old. All right, let me tell you something that happens to 20-year-old cocky motherfuckers. You think you're winning right now. You are not winning. You couldn't possibly be winning because you're 20. All right, you don't know shit. You don't know anything about life. You don't know anything about business. And the fact that you've won a little bit, honestly, is probably very fortunate. And I hate to use the term lucky, but I'll just say you're fortunate because I'm gonna be polite. You need to understand that if you start to believe that you are winning now, this is the best that you will ever get. I am 45 years old.

• 17:38Andy Frisella?

  I have, by all standards, achieved every single goal that I had set for myself when I was your age. All right?

• 17:48Andy Frisella?

  And most people would look at me, I think almost everybody would look at me and say, that's a very successful man. I do not feel successful at all. I feel like a speck of dirt that has been overlooked, that is way behind, that is hungrier than ever

• 18:10Andy Frisella?

  to win. So, we have to recalibrate how you are thinking. And how you are thinking should be, dude, I don't have any option but to go win. And I have to win so big because I have to take care of myself. I have to take care of my family. I have to take care of my friends. Because once you become that big of a winner, that's the reality of winning. You become the epicenter for everybody else around you. Every single person in your life will probably end up surviving because of what you're doing in your business and your professional life. So,

• 18:49Andy Frisella?

  let's break this down.

• 18:52Andy Frisella?

  How do you compare to me?

• 18:58Andy Frisella?

  Would you say you're winning compared to me? Okay, now, I take that and I say, well, how do I compare to Jeff Bezos? All right? Do I think I'm winning compared to Jeff Bezos? Absolutely not. All right? And you aren't winning either. So, to ask, how do I?

• 19:19Andy Frisella?

  Keep from getting cocky or stay from getting cocky. Uh, well, you have to plant your fucking feet in reality, bro, because you haven't done shit yet. All right, so, and this is also where you have to understand what the meaning of humility actually means. The meaning of humility has nothing to do with the car you drive and the house you live in, or all this other shit that broke people tell you. The meaning of humility has to do with your understanding that you are a result of your actions and not a result of you just being great. You are winning a little bit because you did things that others were not willing to do. And if you want to continue to grow and continue to scale and continue to win

• 20:02Andy Frisella?

  over the course of your life, which you need to, because you're not winning right now. You think you are, but you're not. You need to do a couple of things. One, you need to embody the true sense of humility, which is this. I am the result of my actions and when my actions stop, my success will stop. And you also have to understand that you are no better than anybody else. Because if anybody else had executed the actions that you have executed, they would also be in your position. So how could you think it's you when if anybody else did the same exact things you did, you would be where, they would be where you are. So start to understand the true definition of humility. And contrary to what all the fucking losers say on the internet, it's very important to find people to compare yourself to,

• 20:48Andy Frisella?

  to remind you that you have a long way to go. All right, and we have all these people on the internet who say, "Oh, comparison is the thief of joy." And never compare yourself to anybody. Yeah, bro, that's what losers do. Winners always compare themselves to people. They're always competing. They're always working to get better. They're always working to surpass that person that they look at as the inspiration for their success. And guess what? The people who do that are the people who do end up surpassing that person. And they continue on a path of growth over the long haul. And by the way, I talked about this a few episodes. You need to adopt, and I guess this is the third part of it.

• 21:31Andy Frisella?

  You need to adopt the mentality of raising the bar before you actually hit your goal. Okay? Yes, I have achieved every goal that I ever set out for myself when I was 20. But right now, at mid 40s, I have not achieved any of my goals because my goals have been raised. All right. And what losers do is they hit their goal and then they're like, oh, I made it. I'm the best. And they walk around talking about how they're the hardest shit in the world. When in reality, those people will be broken two or three years because all the action that they were executing that produced this stops the point they think they made it. So you have to understand how champions think.

• 22:13Andy Frisella?

  Champions will raise the bar over and over and over again and play the game for life. Okay. And when they get close to where they're trying to go and they start to think about, man, I'm actually going to hit that automatically, dude, the, the goals change and get that much bigger. And then they pass their original mark without even really recognizing it. All right. So it's important to take some time and look back once in a while and say, all right, I hit that goal. But if you want real success, and I'm talking about generational wealth for real, you have to have the mentality that people who generate that have. And yes, you're not going to live the conventional life that everybody else gets to live.

• 22:55Andy Frisella?

  You're not going to have quote unquote, the balance everybody talks about having. Those rules are for them. They're not for entrepreneurs. They're not for champions. They're not for successful people. The rules that the people in the stands on Sunday in NFL play by and the rules that the players play by in their life are two different sets of fucking rules. And you have to decide, do you want to be a player or do you want to be a spectator? What do their lives look like? And I use sports a lot because it's easy for you guys to understand. The life of Tom Brady looks a hell of a lot different than the life of the fan watching Tom Brady. Okay. And you have to ask yourself which one you want to be. And then you have to understand.

• 23:38Andy Frisella?

  Guys like Tom Brady, guys are at the highest, they, they, they don't get everything. Yeah. They get some things and you guys all think, man, I'd really like to have what Tom Brady had, but then you still want these other things and they're not always possible. So you have to really decide, and this goes back to the authenticity part. You have to, and I'm not here to tell you what the fuck you should want for yourself. I'm here to offer the information to the people who want to win as big as possible. That's what the fuck I'm, if you think I'm talking to you and you're vibing, you're like, yeah, I want to win. Fuck yeah. If you're sitting there saying, well, that doesn't sound, then I'm not talking to you, bro. I'm talking to these guys over here. You go over there, go listen to somebody that makes you feel good for fucking not doing shit. There's plenty of them. Plenty of it.

• 24:21Andy Frisella?

  There's plenty of them out there. They'll make you feel good for being a fucking loser. Right. Okay. I'm not one of those guys. If you're going to stand in my camp and you ain't doing shit, I'm going to tell you you're a fucking loser. All right. So decide what it is you want authentically, and it's very important that that is an authentic decision. Because if you pick the path of entrepreneurship and it, and you're not willing to live that life, you will be fucking miserable. It will ruin your life because it is just that fucking hard. Okay?

• 24:53Andy Frisella?

  If this, if you're not willing to deal with that, go over there, bro. No one's judging you. You're going to be way happier. Okay. Stop consuming shit like my information. Stop listening to all this success shit. If that's not what you actually want to do, because all it's going to do is make you feel bad about yourself. All right? And like I said, there are lots of people out there that will make you feel good for just fucking floating through life. And that's usually the most popular people. Okay. Just go, go to the self-help version or category on podcasts and go to the top three and they'll all tell you how special you are, how great you are and how you need to relax and take a break and take a breather. And it's not about making money. It's about this imbalance and all this other shit.

• 25:35Andy Frisella?

  That's why they make those shows. I'm not that show, motherfucker. I'm about winning. Okay? So you have to understand that this is very hard. It has to be an authentically true choice for you. And then you have to understand that you're not going to get everything that those guys want, but you're going to get other things that are fucking awesome. Um, but.

• 25:53Andy Frisella?

  Back to the original question. Um, look, man, you're 20 years old. You haven't done shit. You're, you're fucking legitimately broke. I don't give a fuck what your bank account says. You're broke and you need to get over the fact that you think you've done anything because you haven't. All right. So humble yourself, understand you still have a lot to learn. And then whenever you get to where you want to go right now, remember you still ain't shit. Okay. Because Elon Musk fucking could lose some change out of his pocket and buy my whole fucking life. All right. So there's always levels to it.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Right there yet.

• 26:27Andy Frisella?

  They're not. And my goal is to build the next fucking iconic American brand, AKA Nike. So when I look at people that I look up to, who do I look up to? I look at people who have done that. Who's done that? Phil Knight's done that. So until I'm fucking beating Phil Knight, I haven't done shit. All right. Which means there's a possibility that I could never beat Phil Knight, which means I'll always, but I'm committed to that. That's my choice. I'm committed to that.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:56Andy Frisella?

  And by the way, I will fucking beat him. So that's the answer.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 27:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  I love it. Off of this, this actually leads perfectly into our second question.

• 27:04Andy Frisella?

  People look back on that clip in 30 years and be like, holy fuck.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's 30, bro. It'd be fucking 10.

• 27:10Andy Frisella?

  Maybe, but I'm just saying for sure in 30.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:13Andy Frisella?

  I don't care how long it takes. That's a whole nother thing. That's a whole nother thing. Let's just address this.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Let's talk about it.

• 27:18Andy Frisella?

  Let's stress this.

• 27:21Andy Frisella?

  There is a drastic difference between people who are definitely going to win. And I, like, when I talk to people, I can tell if they're going to win or not. And very simply, and you're probably wondering, well, how? Or you're probably full of shit.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  You're psychic, Andy.

• 27:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. No, I have been alive enough to recognize a massive difference between people who make it and people who don't make it. People who make it are committed, meaning they do not give a fuck how long it takes. I do not fucking care how long it takes me to win this battle. I don't care. It could take me till I'm 90, it could take me till I'm 55. I don't give a fuck, but it's gonna happen. And that is how people think that win. People who do not win are say shit like this. I'm gonna retire at 35. I'm gonna fucking retire, motherfucker. I will crush you.

• 28:19Andy Frisella?

  You're playing on an unrealistic timeframe, okay? Which means eventually you're gonna get burned out and you're gonna quit or you're gonna lose to someone who doesn't give a fuck how long it takes. So unless you're going to invest in entrepreneurship with your life to the point of I don't care how long it fucking takes, don't do it. Don't do it, because you'll lose to people who do.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Fuck, man. I love it, man. Like I said, this topic, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question. Uh, you know, talking about, you know, trying to stay on the path and...

• 28:57Andy Frisella?

  Hey, did we get, sorry, did we get live call-ins going yet? Yeah, we got it all figured out. So you heard it from the man right there, guys. We're having live call-ins real soon for Q and A. So we're gonna have a way for you to call in, you're gonna talk to me directly, and I'm gonna tell you how fucking stupid you are.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  We flipping the coin. I flipped the coin, that's what it is. Uh, but no, I mean...

• 29:21Andy Frisella?

  I don't mean to tell you stupid, but I am gonna tell you the truth. I'm gonna tell you, like this kid here, bro, if you had called in and said that, I would have fucking burned your ass. You would have never forgot it. But, but in 20 years, you'd be like, thank you. I can't wait for the live call-ins, bro.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, but I mean, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question though, right? Like staying on the path, you know, understanding you're not there yet, right? Um, question number two, Andy, I'm an ambitious person. I've always had big goals and I'm proud of my work ethic, but lately I feel like I'm always chasing the next achievement without enjoying what I already have. I reach a goal and instead of celebrating, I immediately think, what's next?

• 30:02Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Um, I don't want to lose my drive, but I also don't want to spend my whole life feeling like happiness is always just one step away. How can I find balance between striving for more and actually appreciating the present?

• 30:16Andy Frisella?

  Because your, your problem is, is that you're misjudging where happiness comes from. Happiness does not come from you getting to a certain place. It comes from you enjoying the process of getting to the place. And you have to have three elements to become happy as an entrepreneur. You have to have purpose, you have to have discipline, alright? And if you have those two things, then you have to have gratitude. Okay, so if you have a purpose, here's my purpose. This is the problem I'm going to solve and not, this is how much money I'm going to make. This is the problem I'm going to solve. Alright, that's your purpose. Then you have discipline, which you can build. That's the whole point of Live Hard program, alright? And you can get into a position and build yourself into a version of you that can control the controllables.

• 31:01Andy Frisella?

  Because the controllables that you are in control of will dictate the outcome of your life. Most people believe that it's up to circumstance or happenstance, or the weather's bad, or I didn't get this thing. Yeah, you might not get those things. That's why the rest of the fucking time, you've got to be in control of your decisions. You gotta be able to control what you drink. You gotta be able to control what you eat. You gotta be able to control that you're gonna execute when the circumstances are not ideal, because you understand that everybody else is stopping and you're continuing to go. You, you've gotta develop these skillsets of grit, perseverance, discipline, all of the things that create what we call mental toughness, okay?

• 31:45Andy Frisella?

  When you become in control of the things that you can control, your self-esteem rises, your self-worth rises, the respect you get from others goes up, alright? And that combined with a purpose is gonna make you feel pretty good. You're gonna feel like, man, I'm the fucking man, bro. I got this big purpose. I know I can do it because there's nothing I can't do, alright? Then- You add in gratitude, which is, man, I know that I got a long way to go, but man, let's look at what I did. This is a big deal. All right. And that is the hardest thing for a truly driven and ambitious person to do. The gratitude part, because we're always focused on the future, but you should take some time every day,

• 32:29Andy Frisella?

  whether it be through prayer, or whether it be just through gratitude, a minute, two minutes, five minutes. That's all you fucking need. Okay. You don't need to sit there in your morning routine for two fucking hours, meditating to be grateful for what the fuck you've done. All right. So you don't, you need to stop looking at happiness as a destination. This is where everybody fucks it up. Okay. It is not a destination. It is every single day of your life, you create happiness by executing against your purpose. What am I here to do? Who am I here to help? What problems am I solving? And taking action towards that every day. Then being disciplined. Okay. I'm in control of the controllables. I can control what I eat. I control what I drink.

• 33:14Andy Frisella?

  I control how I move. I control what information I put in. I control who I hang out with. I can control the messages I put out and all of those things will dictate your outcome way more than the negative circumstances that happen to literally every single fucking human on the face of the earth. All right. And then you take a little bit of time every day and you say, man, you know what? I might not be where I want to be, but shit dude, this is the stuff I used to pray for. These are the things I used to want more than anything. Just take a minute to look around, dude, and be grateful. Even when I had no money, I always was grateful and part of my prayer process

• 33:57Andy Frisella?

  was I always thank God that he made me me. All right, and I wouldn't trade places with anybody else. I wouldn't trade places with Michael Jordan or fucking whoever. I wouldn't do that. I'm happy to be me and I'm grateful to be me. And when I didn't have anything, I was grateful for the opportunity to become what it is I have become now and built what I have built now and create what I have created now. But now, like you're saying, I've raised the bar. Okay, so this is how you get there without over celebrating and still being happy. All right. It's not a destination. It's something you create through execution on your purpose, exercising controllable discipline, and being grateful every day.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  I love that. I feel like another thing here, we gotta like, remove a fallacy.

• 34:46Andy Frisella?

  And by the way, before you ask me that, I want to address this. The fact that you don't celebrate is not a bad thing. Because here's what mostly happens. We have the 20 year old kid in the first, he's asking, well, how do I not be so cocky? You know why he's cocky? Because he's celebrating and he's like, fuck, look how great I am. I'm so good. You ain't shit, bro. Okay, so when we start to think about what happens when people celebrate, usually progress stops because people celebrate it feels good. They continue to do the thing that feels good. And then, you know, they end up at 40 years old talking about how they won the MVP of their high school football game.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:29Andy Frisella?

  All right, so that's how that happens. Over celebrating, attaching your identity to the past, not the present or the future. All right, so over celebrating is the most damaging thing that I've ever seen achievers do. And it's sad because those people are capable of achieving far more than what they actually end up achieving because they stick to this thing they did was great one time. Guess what, man?

• 35:59Andy Frisella?

  People trip and fall into greatness, at least once in their life, okay? You shouldn't attach your identity to it. I don't give a fuck what I did in the past. I don't think about it. I don't dwell on it. I don't think about conversations I had in the past. I don't think about, I don't think about any of that shit. I am always focused on what I'm doing today and what's going to happen in the future. And I have not found someone who is continuing to win over and over and over again, who talks about their past. And if you pay attention, you can see this, alright? Watch some of these old NFL guys that do announcing for, for their games. All they fucking talk about, they'll start out with this. It's, it's annoying as fuck to me.

• 36:44Andy Frisella?

  This is why I notice it. Well, when I used to play, it was this and this and that. And they go on this story of when I used to play. But then you look at those guys' lives and they're not actually doing anything besides talking about their past for a living, alright? So they're, they're not building companies. They're not leveraging their football success. They're not, you know what I'm saying? They get stuck in the past. Now, think about that. You probably all have a friend who was an ex-athlete. And all they fucking talk about is how many home runs they hit, or how fucking many touchdowns they scored in a game. Or that one, that one game, I ran for 200 yards or what? Yeah, so what? What are you doing now?

• 37:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:24Andy Frisella?

  What are you doing now? What did you do today? Alright? So that's what we need to focus on. And, uh, we need to quit thinking that not celebrating is such a bad thing because it's, it actually creates way more good in the world. The more you win, the more good that you create. So I wouldn't feel bad that you're not a big celebrator. I am, I am probably the worst celebrator of all time.

• 37:49Andy Frisella?

  And it is what I that it's it's I think it's responsible for for the the continual growth path of going more and more and more and more and more. Yeah, it's not about what you're doing is what you're doing. That's that's real. I don't put any value in that. Yeah. Like, bro, and by the way, I fucking expect to win. My expectation is to win. I'm not hyped when I celebrate or when I win, I'm like, okay, that's what how it's supposed to go. Yeah, you're not surprised. No, not at all. Like, that's how it's supposed to go, and anything other than that is unacceptable. And that's another difference that successful people have from everybody else. They expect to win. They are not excited when they win because that's what they were supposed to do.

• 38:30Andy Frisella?

  All right, Nick Saban, what Bill Belichick, the best coaches that ever played, what do you see them do when they win? They go up on the podium, they say, you know what? The guys played a great game. Uh, we we fucked up here. What do you mean, coach? You just won the Super Bowl. Right. Well, we could have done better here. Got some things to go. We got some things to work. Yeah, right. You know, uh, but you know, next year, we're gonna make sure that we build on this. And they're already thinking they're. They're planning for. Yes, bro, they they expected that, okay? Great people expect fucking greatness, and they don't tolerate anything else. And that's something that a lot of people just don't understand. You have to have unreasonable expectations of winning.

• 39:16Andy Frisella?

  And I don't know somebody who wins that doesn't. You know, and and dude, let's be real. Let's take the occasional coach who wins out of the blue. How do they operate? We well, they get the Gatorade shower. Yeah, right. And they're partying with their team. And then and then they don't win another fucking title ever. You don't hear about him no more. Yeah. Yeah, right. So like, dude, it. The these are all some of the thing, my point in saying all of this is the way you think and the way the first person thought needs to be true, needs to be dialed into a winner's mindset. And winners are not cocky. You may think they're cocky because they talk cocky in the moment, which is usually necessary for them to do the thing that they want to do.

• 40:01Andy Frisella?

  You know, everybody thinks someone who talks shit before a fight or before a sporting event is cocky. Dude, a lot of times that's them talking themselves into fucking going out there into battle. You know what I'm saying? But dude, people who've never done it, they don't get that, right? There's just a lot of things that people don't understand and they think it's like this polite,

• 40:24Andy Frisella?

  you know courteous,

• 40:28Andy Frisella?

  fucking everybody can, dude, it's not. You have to be a fucking animal. And I don't know how else to tell you that.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  I mean, to your point, because I really, I don't want to miss this piece here. Because I think it's also important, man, like we talk about it, you talk about it with anxiety, right? And like this idea of happiness, I want you to dispel this myth, like people expect, or they have this like expectation that they're supposed to be happy all the fucking time.

• 40:54Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  It's not the case.

• 40:57Andy Frisella?

  First of all, happiness isn't even the goal, winning is the goal. Dude, if you ask the fucking most successful people that you look up to, if they'd rather win or be happy, they're gonna tell you they'd rather fucking win.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Rather win.

• 41:09Andy Frisella?

  And what they're really gonna tell you is winning makes me happy. So, it's not, dude, that's, you know, I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of people that hear that and they're like, ooh, this is not very fun, no shit. That's why you can't do it.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  It's bank account fun.

• 41:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's not, yeah, that's right. It's fun when I don't have to fucking worry about a goddamn thing.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 41:28Andy Frisella?

  You know, financially, that's fun. It's fun, like, you know what's fun? It's fun when I step on motherfuckers throats that talk shit about me, you know, in business, or said I couldn't do it, or, you know, tried to fucking come at me in business, and I will quietly keep my mouth shut and then step on their fucking face as hard as I can, with a smile.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 41:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's fun. So, you know, like, there's, dude, you either get it or you fucking don't. And the problem with entrepreneurship is that the internet has convinced everybody that they should be an entrepreneur, and that's just not fucking true. Okay, a lot of people, most people statistically, would be much happier in a regular job because they don't have to take it home. They don't have to work 24 hours a day. Entrepreneurship is different than it was 30 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago. And I've been running, I've been in business almost that whole time, and I can tell you it's way different. You used to be able to go home and fucking not have to deal with it. With the advent of cell phones, technology, and the internet, now it's a 24-hour gig, bro. And, and, and it's unfair. But,

• 42:30Andy Frisella?

  it's what it is. So,

• 42:34Andy Frisella?

  It ain't for everybody, bro.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 42:37Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but it can be for you if you're willing to shift your mindset into the things that we're talking about here.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Not necessarily. I love it, man. Well, guys, Andy, let's get to our third and final question. Um, you know, we've been talking about boundaries in the personal development space, like just personal life. Um, and this question is specifically about boundaries in business. Uh, so let's get into question number three, guys. Uh, Andy, I'm a freelance graphic designer, juggling multiple clients and often find myself working late into the night to meet deadlines. Uh, I know I need better boundaries, but I'm worried that saying no will hurt my relationships with clients or impact my income. How can I manage my time better without jeopardizing my work? Boundaries in business.

• 43:20Andy Frisella?

  You're correct in your assessment. If you tell your fucking customers no, they're gonna go find someone that's gonna say yes. When you're in the early stages of business, which you are, I don't care how long you've been doing it, you're still in the early stages. Your customers will find people that will say yes if you say no. That's reality. Now you have to make a decision on what is acceptable for you, but the reality is, is if you start to try to draw those boundaries the way you're trying to, you will make less money. You need to understand that. You will have different, you will have a different class of customers. You will not work with the most aggressive, most powerful, most ass kicking brands because that's what they expect.

• 44:03Andy Frisella?

  Okay, we're dealing, we're now on our energy drink, we're partners with Anheuser-Busch, one of the biggest companies in the world, okay?

• 44:12Andy Frisella?

  They work 24 hours a fucking day. All right? And I'm actually grateful for them being around because it's showing a lot of people in my system what it actually takes. All right?

• 44:28Andy Frisella?

  There is no, oh, I can't do it when it's gotta be done tomorrow. Has to be done. Okay, and if it's not done, guess what happens? Bad things to you.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 44:37Andy Frisella?

  All right, and people say, well, that's not really that fair. Well, fuck, bro, you, you, okay. Go do something else. Go, go do what, do something else. No one's forcing you to do it. Do something else. And if you're a freelance designer. I'll be real, I've dealt with people like this. The minute they say no, or the minute they say, I'm, I'm, um, this is my weekend, you're bothering me on the week, or some shit, fuck you, I'm finding someone else. Because we have to move now, I'm responsible for every motherfucker in this building. And you're not meeting my needs anymore. And, and I'm not judging you for setting that boundary. Okay, that might be a very responsible decision. And that's your life, but this is also my life.

• 45:22Andy Frisella?

  So I have to find someone that's gonna work at my pace. I got boundaries too. Yeah, so the truth of the matter is, you aren't gonna keep your customers if you draw those boundaries the same way. And a lot of people that don't know shit about business will say, well, you don't need those customers. Well, I don't know, they aren't that easy to get like everybody thinks. All right, so you have to make a decision, what's appropriate for you, what's appropriate for your life, what's appropriate for your family, and make that decision. But, but when you're getting started and you have customers and you start to tell them no, they're gonna say no back, and you're gonna have less customers. So, um, I mean, is that really even like? Every graphic designer, designer person that I've dealt with, which dude is like in the hundreds at this point,

• 46:06Andy Frisella?

  that did that, which by the way, creatives are notorious for doing this, that what you were talking about right here. They are idealistic people and they're very creative and it's a great thing because we need those people. But they do things like that. They, they start to think, well, I have this skill that specialized and no one else has it. I don't know if you know this, bro, but you can like type your shit right into AI right now and fucking get it done. So it's even more important than ever that you are accommodating and fast and professional and kick ass to be competitive with what's gonna happen. Otherwise you will not be in business. Yeah. So my, that's just the truth. And a lot of people don't like that.

• 46:50Andy Frisella?

  They say, well, that's not fucking right. Listen, man, I didn't make the fucking rules. I'm just telling you how it is. Play by them though. Well, yeah, and, and, and your customers to pay your bills, you play by their rules. And, uh, you know, I don't get to stop and, um, you know, running my business and say,

• 47:09Andy Frisella?

  Uh, you know, hey, guys, it's a Friday night at seven o'clock. So, uh, sorry, I can't help you. And then show back up on Monday and expect the business to be there. That's not what the fuck happens. Those customers go out and gets, we live in a convenience economy. Okay. And if you want to point blame at someone, you can point blame at Amazon. And I'll tell you why, because Amazon has trained the customer to now expect things immediately. Okay. At first, their first 12, 15 years in business, they didn't have to collect sales tax. So they had a 10 point advantage on price. When the government started making them collect tax, now they went to convenience. So, I mean, now they've trained everybody to get things so fucking fast.

• 47:53Andy Frisella?

  That if you can't do it fast, you're, you're fucking irrelevant. So, um, yeah, man. Uh, and, and like I was getting ready to say, you know, creatives are notorious for like trying to do this. And then not understanding why they get fired or why you don't work with them. So, you know, the best creative people that I work with. They, they, they pick up the fucking whatever, like if I, like, if I say, hey, I gotta have this done. It's done like right then. And that might not be fair. Like there's times when I text Madad at fucking 11 o'clock at night and I say, hey, man, can you do? And I'm always polite about it. I'm like, hey, can you do this? I fucking get it right back, dude. What's it take? Five minutes? 10 minutes? Like it's immediate.

• 48:33Andy Frisella?

  But that's also why he's on the team and why he's doing very well, going to continue to do better and better and better. So.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wanted to ask you this too, because you, you mentioned like, you know, especially in the beginning stages of a business to have that type of attention and, you know, willingness. But like, bro, I've been with you for five and a half years. You're being, you've been in business for 26. I see you still fucking going at 11 o'clock at night.

• 48:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  So it's like, it doesn't, it's not really like a beginning thing.

• 48:59Andy Frisella?

  No, it, it's just, what I'm saying is it's especially important in the beginning.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 49:04Andy Frisella?

  And DJ, I am at the beginning. Okay. It took me 26 years to build the foundation of what I actually want to do. And I'm just now getting a seat at the big boy table. You know, I had to build my own fucking chair and it took that long to build it from nothing. Now I have a chair. Now I'm going to go to battle against these motherfuckers, which they are not going to like. Okay. Because I'm hungry as fuck. And when I look at, there's a reason why I talk about this all the time. What day is it?

• 49:35Speaker 01

  First day, day one.

• 49:36Andy Frisella?

  It's day one, motherfucker. Okay, and that's how I look at it. Every day is day one. What happened yesterday, what I did last week, what we did last year, doesn't fucking matter. We're here now. Today is day one. Where are we going? And that's how I look at my life. And eventually, you know, I'm gonna run out of time and, you know, like everybody at the end of my life, I'm sure I'll have a few regrets about certain things, but there's trade-offs to things and there's costs to things and there's... It is what it is. You gotta decide what the fuck you're willing to give or not give to have what you want. And neither, none of those decisions are wrong, by the way. I just happen to talk about them wrong because we're in the context of winning. At, in a financial game, business game.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:18Andy Frisella?

  So, uh, you know, when you say, "Well, why do you still have that?" Well, because I genuinely believe that I'm at the fucking beginning. You know what I mean?

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Well, guys, Andy, that is a hell of a way to start a Monday, bro.

• 50:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, guys, let's, uh, let's get going. We'll see you tomorrow on CTI. Don't be a hoe.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Share the show.