848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to get your “fire” back when you feel monotonous on your journey to success, how to handle anxiety when you have too much on your plate, and what’s the best way to manage ego in high-performing employees.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is guys, email these questions into [email protected] or go on YouTube in the Q and A Fs. Ask your questions in the comment sections and we'll choose some from there as well. Other days, we're going to have shows within the show. This is not a single format show. We're going to have CTI tomorrow. That stands for Cruise the Internet.

• 0:58Andy Frisella?

  That's a society, culture, comedy, all mixed together. Try to deliver the news in a different way. We speculate on what's going on, what's true, what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Verses. 75 Hard Verses where people who have completed the 75 Hard Program come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 Hard Program to transform their mental state, which transform their reality. All right. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the world's biggest, most

• 1:40Andy Frisella?

  popular mental transformation program. It is the initial phase of the Live Hard Program. And you could get both of those programs for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There is also a book available at andyfrisella.com called The Book on Mental Toughness. It covers the entire Live Hard Program, plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it, and has some case studies on some famous people as to, you know, how they got to be famous using these skills. So go get the book if you want. It's for people who, I don't know, like the ins and outs and the ups and downs and all the details, like me. I have to know everything before I start things. Or you could just go

• 2:23Andy Frisella?

  to episode 208, get the whole thing for free. It's your choice. Book is very popular. We're always sold out. So if we're sold out. That sucks. For you.

• 2:35Andy Frisella?

  I mean, it does. Uh, one thing about this show, we don't run ads on the show, okay? We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. I am an actual entrepreneur. I run actual companies. And I finance this show myself. And the reason for that is because I don't want anybody telling me what I can and can't say. And in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help us grow the show by showing it. A lot of you guys listen, you habitually listen, and you don't help us, you don't, you don't share the show. Okay, uh, so don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right, and you know, buy our shit. You know what I'm saying? We'll just throw that in there. That's the, that's the ad. As a reminder, uh, yeah, and by the way, if you do want to support us, you can buy these first form energy drinks, uh, at your local convenience store, grocery store.

• 3:20Andy Frisella?

  If they don't have them, ask them what the fuck is going on? What kind of operation are you running here? Can't be a good one. Clearly not. Um, let's see. MFCEO Project coming back. I just want to remind you guys of that. Uh, we'll have some announcements on that very soon. If you're unfamiliar with the MFCEO Project, it is the first podcast before Real AF that I did. It was the number one business podcast in the world. Not much changed there, but, uh, also, um, it was the number one overall show for a long time. So we're bringing that back. And the reason I'm bringing it back is because I feel that I'm needed to teach the younger generation the skills of winning. And, uh, we're going to do that.

• 4:02Andy Frisella?

  So if you're interested in getting the new MFCEO Project, it will not be available on iTunes or YouTube. It's going to be available on an app.

• 4:12Andy Frisella?

  When I launch that app, I will announce it through my email list. So, uh, go get on my email list, subscribe to the Andy Graham. You get a little motivational writing, a little tactical knowledge every day to your inbox. Plus you'll get notified when the MFCEO Project drops, so. I'm excited about that, bro.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:30Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I'm excited about the things we're doing different and you know, we're, we're lining up testimonials of people who have built seven, eight, nine figure companies with the skills of the first series.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:41Andy Frisella?

  Uh, that's gonna be cool. Um, I mean, a lot of things are gonna be different.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I think what the coolest piece of it too, man, like outside looking in is like, I mean, you talk about like, you know,

• 4:51Andy Frisella?

  That's gonna be the interviews and the guests.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:53Andy Frisella?

  Right? Like, it's gonna be cool, man, because it's gonna be, you know, not just the real entrepreneurs that, that I know. It's gonna be people who have used, you know, like, bro, fucking, I talked to a guy yesterday who's got a $300 million company that was talking about how he used to listen to MFCEO when he was fucking, you know, hustling back in, in the day. So, stuff like that, you know what I mean?

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Well, you, you talk about what I'm, what I like about it most is like, you know, you, you've talked about this before, like how business has its cycles and its evolutions and like you're in a new phase of business, new to you, right?

• 5:25Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  And being able to apply all the shit that you've learned even.

• 5:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Most recently.

• 5:29Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, look dude, building a business to a million is, is a set of skills. Building a business from a million to 10 million, that's a set of skills. Now, a lot of those skills overlap, but there are skills you need to have. Building your business from 10 to 50 million, that's a different thing.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:45Andy Frisella?

  Building your business from 50 million to 500 million, completely different thing. Um, so, you know, all of these skills overlap, but it's gonna, it is gonna be a lot different. It's gonna be a lot more, uh, a lot more knowledge to bestow. You know, I'm excited about it.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  A word of the day right there.

• 6:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bestow.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Oh, sweet.

• 6:04Andy Frisella?

  So, let's bestow them with a little appetizer of knowledge.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 6:08Andy Frisella?

  Uh, just to get people through the week.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Well, I got some good ones for you.

• 6:10Andy Frisella?

  I know you do.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  You got three good ones for you.

• 6:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  As usual.

• 6:16Andy Frisella?

  Let's do it.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  That's a new one for today too.

• 6:17Andy Frisella?

  The what?

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Usual.

• 6:18Andy Frisella?

  Use a what?

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Usual.

• 6:21Andy Frisella?

  Usual.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Usual.

• 6:23Andy Frisella?

  What does that mean?

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Usual.

• 6:26Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Let's, let's bestow.

• 6:30Andy Frisella?

  Let's.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Guys, Andy, question number one, man. Let's get into these, dude. Andy, I am in college and I'm doing excellent, especially compared to last year. I used to party all week long, was able to maintain good grades. I changed it up and I am 20 years old and I have completed 75 hard back in November for the first time. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since August. I'm actively doing 75 hard again and I'm giving it my all. I have aspirations to become a firefighter and a tattoo artist on the side to fill in my days off. But I often feel like I've been spaced out or that I have little to no interest in doing things.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  I used to dream of cars, houses, solid family. Now I have a hard time focusing on my purpose and my why am I doing the things that I am? How do you recommend getting that fire back? And is it normal that it will get monotonous? Right? Like, did you ever lose that that fire of like what you wanted to get and why you wanted to get it? How did you get it back?

• 7:36Andy Frisella?

  Of course, this is a long, hard, intense, brutal journey. You are going to feel like not doing it way more than you're going to feel like doing it once you start to do it. The way you feel about doing it is irrelevant. And every championship person, every successful entrepreneur, every person that you've ever looked up to and said, "Fuck it, I want to be like that." All of those people have learned a very specific skill. They have learned and understand that how they feel about doing the critical tasks that need to be done on a day by day basis is irrelevant.

• 8:19Andy Frisella?

  All that matters is that you do it. So how you feel about doing it does not matter. There's no trophy for it. There's no reward for it. There's no monetary gain. No one cares. No one cares how you feel. You're the only one that cares. No one cares. So with that being understood, do you want to achieve your goals? Or do you want to stay where you are and potentially and most likely go backwards from where you are? Those are your choices. So you can choose to understand that you have to execute at a high level, especially when you don't feel like it and you will eventually get where you want to go.

• 9:01Andy Frisella?

  Or you could say, I just don't feel like it like everybody else does and your life will fucking suck. That's it. It's going to be hard either way. Either one of those paths is difficult. There's no path in life where you get to skip through the fucking field of daisies with the hummingbirds and the bees and the sun shining on your motherfucking face and everything's going to be great. There's no path to that in real life. Now, how many of the people that live this carefree, skip through the fucking daisies lifestyle actually remain in that position? Very few. If you pay attention, every year they're trying to reinvent themselves. You know why? Because the internet gives people that don't know what the fuck they're talking about,

• 9:43Andy Frisella?

  a platform to spread things with certainty. And so when they're, when they are skipping through the field, even though they have no money coming in and they have nobody around them and everything is, they pretend to know that what they're doing is the right thing for sure. Okay. And that certainty then sucks people in and quite honestly ruins their fucking life. Because that person will be on to the next thing next year and the next thing the year after that and the next thing the year after that. And they talk out their ass and don't know what the fuck they're talking about. So here's the thing.

• 10:21Andy Frisella?

  Of course, you're not going to feel like it. Most of the time. This is why you have to train yourself to execute, which is called discipline, when you don't feel like it or when you're lacking motivation. This is the entire point of the Live Hard program. It's the entire reason that the Live Hard program exists and why it's the most popular mental toughness discipline training program in the world. It's not because it doesn't work. It's because it trains you to make the better decision, not the harder decision, the better decision. When you don't feel like making it. Okay. And that's another thing. Why don't you reframe the decisions that you are making from this is the hardest decision to this is the better

• 11:06Andy Frisella?

  decision. This is what's going to move me forward. This is what's going to get me what I want. When you think about it like that, it makes it a lot easier to get off your ass and go fucking do it. So yes, it is absolutely normal to not feel like doing it. There is not a single person who has ever achieved anything that you want to achieve that has felt like it every single day. It's hard. It's frustrating. There's things that are gonna happen. You're gonna get punched in the face. You're gonna get sick. You're gonna have breakups. You're gonna have people let you down. You're gonna have people steal from you. You're gonna have friends let you down. You're gonna be embarrassed. You're gonna make mistakes and everybody's

• 11:47Andy Frisella?

  gonna see it and laugh at you. All of these things are gonna happen. You have to build yourself into someone who can continue to execute regardless of what's happening around you. And if you can do that, it doesn't matter what's happening around you. It doesn't matter if they're laughing. It doesn't matter if they're making fun. It doesn't matter if the weather's bad. It doesn't matter if the economy's bad. It doesn't matter if your parents don't approve or your wife or your girlfriend or your husband. It doesn't fucking matter if you keep executing because eventually you will find yourself in the place you set out to be. Okay. That's the game. And I don't know how to explain it any better. Like if

• 12:27Andy Frisella?

  you are going to be a slave to your emotion, you are going to lack control in all areas of your life forever. You cannot be a slave to how you feel. Decisions made about your life have to be made with the outcome in mind and you have to commit to taking those actions with the outcome in mind, understanding that if you don't take them, your life is gonna be shitty and you're gonna be frustrated and you're gonna be fucking disappointed and unfulfilled. And, and dude, it's, it's just, uh, it's the way it is.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Let's, let's tie this into materialism because he mentioned like, you know, he had these dreams of cars and houses and stuff. And I know for you, it was a Lamborghini Countach, right?

• 13:12Andy Frisella?

  Mm hmm. Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  How important was that for you? Like, I mean, like, can we? We talk about motivation, right? Like it's hard to like on those days you don't feel like doing shit. I mean, is that really what you look towards? Like is that, you know what I'm saying?

• 13:25Andy Frisella?

  Dude, listen, this, this game is so fucking hard. You gotta use whatever the fuck you can. Okay. Yes. Material goals are an amazing motivator, especially when you don't have anything. When you can't go to dinner at the nice restaurants and you're driving a fucking rusted out beater and you're embarrassed to get out of the car and all these things, that, that sucks. Okay. Your life is much better when you're driving a nice car. That's reality, dude. And anybody who tells you different hasn't driven a nice car. It's just the facts. All right? A lot of people like to say, oh, that shit doesn't matter. It's just transportation A to B. Well, have you ever gone anywhere in a Bugatti? Because it's pretty fucking cool.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  A to B is pretty cool.

• 14:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And you get there a lot faster. All right? So don't listen to motherfuckers that have never experienced the experiences that you want to experience because they have no perspective or standing to comment on it. Okay? So, anything that you can do to drive you is a good thing. Some people, it's money. Some people, it's cars. Some people, it's lifestyle. Some people, it's watches and suits. And by the way, it was all those things for me for a long fucking time. Okay? Because I, I was young and I lacked the understanding of how to drive myself without those things. And, once I got all those things in business, once I accumulated some cool stuff and I, I realized,

• 14:46Andy Frisella?

  like, well, fuck dude, there's only so much cool shit you can get. Okay? And then I did some searching internally and tried to, you know, like I was probably going through a lot with this young man's going through. Where he's thinking like, well, why am I doing this? And what I started to realize is that, you know, I looked around and I'm like, well, there's, there's, at that time, there was prob, we probably had 80 guys total, 80 people. And I looked around, I'm like, well. This guy depends on this. This guy depends on this. That guy's not driving a nice car yet. That guy hasn't bought a house. And I started to realize. My obligation was not just to myself, it was to everybody else. And so as I progressed through the process,

• 15:30Andy Frisella?

  my drive and and purpose changed and it became from a what you probably most people would consider a selfish purpose. I want this. I want that, which is natural. When you don't have shit, you gotta take care of yourself to solve that problem. Okay? But once you have it, a lot of this is why you hear a lot of people go broke once they get some success because they lack the ability to redefine what their purpose actually is. And so I got to a point where I had all this stuff. I started looking around and then I expanded my purpose. Okay? I expanded my purpose. I realized, well, dude, you still got a long way to go. You gotta scale these companies so that the people who helped you get where you are

• 16:15Andy Frisella?

  can have opportunities to get what they want. Okay? So that became like a second purpose and a new wind in my sails, which pushed me down. Now, by the way, still love the cars. I really don't care about watches anymore. I like suits. But the point is none of that shit really gets me that excited. Okay? Once in a while it does, but that's really not it. Okay? What it and by the way, now I have companies built to where really anybody that's in these companies has unlimited opportunity and upward mobility. If they want to dedicate themselves to it the proper way. So there was that. Okay, so I did that and I'm continuing to do that. So what's my bigger purpose past that? Once I did so?

• 16:59Andy Frisella?

  So what am I supposed to go home and at 42 years old and fucking sit on the couch and fuck off? You know, that wasn't very fun. So then I had to redefine my purpose again. And what my purpose became then was, all right, well, what's the what's going on in the world? Well, for the last five years, and really now that I've become more aware, it's been the last 100 years. We have lived in a country that isn't what it should be. And the reason it isn't what it should be is because the individuals allow it to be that. So. What's that problem? Well, that that is a problem that I can help solve. Because if we can make the people great and we can make the people skilled and we can make

• 17:42Andy Frisella?

  the people high achievers, that makes it harder to control them and they have a better life. If they have a better life, that means the standard is raised. If the standard is raised in the household, the standard can be raised with the neighbor. If the standard can be raised with the neighbor, it can be raised in the community. If it can be raised in the community, it can be raised at the state. If we can raise all the states, we can make the country great again by individual success and accomplishment and the holding of standards. And so when I say personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion, that's what I mean. Because our country is only as good as its individuals. So now my purpose has expanded where I feel the need to teach what I know about business and success more in a more pointed fashion so that we can help solve that problem.

• 18:26Andy Frisella?

  So these are, this is the scaling of of your purpose, which is just as important as scaling your business. Because if you scale into a big business and then you're there and you don't have any purpose, you're going to be miserable. You're because dude, human beings, especially men, okay? No disrespect to the women at all, but men and women are different. And men inherently have a drive to provide, contribute, create and build things. All right? Protect things and people, okay? And when you take that away and you make them ultra comfortable and you give them all

• 19:10Andy Frisella?

  the food they want and you let them live and they don't have any purpose, bro, they're fucking miserable, which is why we have such a mental health crisis with the men in this country. They don't have enough problems to solve and the problems that they're committed to solving are just them chasing the cheese in the fucking hamster wheel, bro. So we have to.

• 19:32Andy Frisella?

  Acknowledge and become aware of bigger problems that we can solve. That will bring us ultimate fulfillment. Okay, so yeah, in the beginning, when you're 20 years old, dude, it might just be, I want cars and I want a watch and I, I want girls to like me.

• 19:49Andy Frisella?

  Then it could be, you know, when you're 30, it could be, you know, hey, I've, I've gotten here. Uh, now I gotta bring people here. Okay. And then when you're 40, you're like, well, fuck, I brought some people here and if, if they're not here, it's on them because they haven't committed. Then it's what's a bigger purpose and a bigger purpose. And like for me, dude, you know, uh, that's just how it's played out and, and everybody I know that is ultra successful and doesn't end up losing it or going crazy or having so many mental health issues, they need to be committed. Um, the reason that they're able to, to function

• 20:28Andy Frisella?

  over the course of their life is because they're continuing to redefine what their mission is and what their purpose is.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  I mean, is it, is it, I mean, cause I look at like, you know, you talk about the beginning motivation, but even just to get you to that point where you can start worrying about other people. How much good has come out of having a fucking aspiration of that coontage?

• 20:48Andy Frisella?

  Bro, a lot. That's, I, you know what?

• 20:51Speaker 01

  Uh, people are like, oh, you just wanted the coontage, but that's selfish as fuck.

• 20:55Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So you guys know Gary Vee, I love Gary. Um, I, Gary's been a massively influential person in my life for the last 15 years.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Awesome dude.

• 21:06Andy Frisella?

  He's a great dude and he's, and he's hyper intelligent and people do not realize how tuned in that dude is. One of the things that Gary, now, now we've had a couple disagreements over the course of, you know, the 15 years we've been friends. Um, one of the disagreements was, he made a post one time laughing at like people that buy nice cars. And I messaged him, I say, hey, you know, I understand you're from New York and, and you guys don't drive cars and shit up there, but like, let me tell you about cars. And I told him, you know, that, and, and dude, he, he admitted it. He was like, well, that's different. You have a passion for cars. You're not just trying to keep up with the fucking Joneses.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:46Andy Frisella?

  Okay. Which is true. But the point of the matter is, you know, you gotta be careful not to shit on people's material goals. Don't take those dreams away from people. Like when people have dreams of material shit, don't shit on us. Don't, don't say, oh, that's, that's stupid, or that's bullshit, or you're just a clown for wanting that. Because dude, that might be the thing that drives them to the next thing. And then that, and then drives them to the next thing. And then all of a sudden, dude, like me, you've got, dude, thousands of people that are providing for themselves and their families because of the companies that these people have created, which started with just a simple want for some cool shit.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Bro.

• 22:27Andy Frisella?

  So like, dude, you can't quantify what could actually happen. Bro, Elon Musk, let's talk about Elon right now as an entrepreneur, okay? Elon Musk, as an entrepreneur, bought a million dollar McLaren F1 in 1999. Okay? And to spend a million dollars on a car in 1999, huge deal. He loves cars, huge car guy. Okay? But I don't know that he's into cars anymore. You know why? Because he decided that his purpose was gonna be to go to fucking space.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  He likes spaceship now.

• 22:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, like.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  He's made his purpose.

• 23:01Andy Frisella?

  But the point is, now this dude employs, I mean, hundreds of thousands of people in his different companies, because he continued to expand what his purpose was. And I believe he's, he's, you know, expanded it again. Uh, you know, which is similar to align with, with what my purpose is. Um, so, you know, he's looked at the world and he's like, well, fuck, we gotta fix this, you know? And, uh, you know, that's, that's how it goes, bro. And if you wanna actually win long-term, um, you have to redefine what that purpose is gonna be over and over and over again. And, you know, if you wanna be a responsible role model and leader, I don't think you should shit on people's goals, because you never know what that's gonna lead to.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 23:43Andy Frisella?

  I love it. Guys, any question? Number two?

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Hey Andy, I've listened to nearly every episode since 2017 and I want to thank you for being the main source of my business growth over the years. My question is this, Andy. You've talked on the podcast about severe anxiety before. I'm 24 years old and for the first time in my life, I've started to have the exact same problem. Some days it's to the point where I want to stay in bed, take a loss just to be able to function for the rest of the week. With so many depending on me to succeed, I don't want to slow down. In fact, I want to do more. How have you built up your resilience to these issues? And what do you do when that stuff happens now? Talking about anxiety specifically?

• 24:27Andy Frisella?

  All right, I got a lot to say here. Number one, when you consume content on the internet, as an entrepreneur, as an ambitious person, as someone who wants to succeed, you have to consume it with the filter of this is not for people who are doing what I want to do. This is for everybody else. Entrepreneurs, driven people, ambitious people have a different set of rules to the game that apply to them than everybody else. And so when you consume all of this shit, it's telling you, you have to do this and you have to live like that and you better feel like this. All of a sudden we start analyzing ourselves and

• 25:10Andy Frisella?

  we're like, well, fuck dude, I'm not really any of those things. And then you end up in a situation where you feel anxious about it. You feel like you're fucked up or there's something wrong with you. And dude, that shit will drive you crazy. So that's point number one. Stop consuming all the data on the internet written by motherfuckers who haven't done anything near what you want to do. And let me explain something to you. That includes people who have just have a podcast. That includes people who just have a coaching business. I'm talking about people for entrepreneurship who have built actual companies. Listen to them.

• 25:52Andy Frisella?

  Read what they say and everybody else can get the fuck out of the way. Okay, that's what you have to understand. If you consume the rules of the game written by people who have never played the game and who have never even come close to winning the game, you're gonna feel crazy. And that's most of the information on the internet. Most of these people writing the, the therapy memes and most of the people who are writing the, you know, these, these uh, Feel good shit? Yeah, there's, first of all, most of those people are stealing the writing. They don't even know what the fuck they're writing and it doesn't, it just doesn't apply, bro. We, we live by, to be a successful entrepreneur, it takes a different path. That's it.

• 26:36Andy Frisella?

  And so if you're on a path and you're reading about all the other paths, you're gonna be confused and you're gonna start analyzing yourself because dude, we wanna be the best as entrepreneurs, as ambitious people, as people who wanna build and create and become things. We wanna be the best. So when we lack these little things that, you know, other people say that they should have, we start feeling bad and we get anxiety and we judge ourselves. And the reality is, is those are the rules for everybody else. The rules for us are different. And once you figure that out, you have far less anxiety. Number two, we need to realize that people need people like us. They need people that are hungry. They need people that wanna build. They need people that are obsessed.

• 27:16Andy Frisella?

  They need people that are gonna create and become and do the things for the world that the world fucking enjoys. Okay, that's building companies, building organizations, achievement that creates careers and jobs and innovations and cures. These things are needed and guess who they come from? They don't come from all those people. They come from people like us. All right, so you are needed and you are a fucking different breed than all of those people. And by the way, that's okay. Because without people that thought like us, they wouldn't have fucking anything. All right, so understand your obsession is needed. Your imbalance is needed. Your drive is needed.

• 28:00Andy Frisella?

  Your ambition is needed. All of it is needed. So that's point number two. Point number three is when ambitious people,

• 28:12Andy Frisella?

  Do not have a detailed plan to work. They feel anxiety. Okay? So I would ask yourself, do you have a detailed plan to get up and work every single day? And do these things every single day? Or do you just have some abstract vision that maybe one day you want to create? Because if you had a fucking day by day detailed plan of the execution, that you would be too busy to feel anxious. For real. So those are the three things that I think really help me when I start to feel anxious. Usually the reason that I start to feel anxious is because of the first part where I'm consuming information.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  You ain't supposed to be consuming.

• 28:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Or the third part, I'm not clear on the steps I need to take. Whenever I have a problem that needs to be solved, I get the most anxiety when I don't know the answer or don't have a plan. When I create the plan and I know that the plan will equate to an answer, even if it takes a year, I don't have the anxiety about it anymore because I know the solution. All right. So with that being said,

• 29:24Andy Frisella?

  you have to realize that warrior mentality, builder mentality, creator mentality, intense mentality is needed. It's a fucking need of civilization and society. It's always been there and it's a very important role. And we have dealt with the condemnation and villainization of these traits for a very long time. All right. Intentionally. Why do you think they don't want you to achieve anything? Why do they think they want you to be? There's multiple reasons, but the point is none of them are valid. And you are definitely in the right for wanting to go create shit. But other than that, dude, you know, anxiety typically.

• 30:08Andy Frisella?

  Is is a normal ebb and flow of just being a human being. And if you learn how to listen to it, what it usually tells you is get off your ass and go solve this problem. Okay, so that's.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  It's a flag of like.

• 30:21Andy Frisella?

  Yes, it's a signal. It's a signal. Bro, back in the day, you know, when you would have the the caveman would get anxiety. The reason he would get anxiety is because he had any fucking food.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:33Andy Frisella?

  And he's like, fuck, I don't know where my food's gonna come from. So guess what he had to do? He had to go get some food. Okay, these are triggers that cause us to understand that there's a problem, identify a problem, and then go solve it. All right, but we are now inundated with all of this shit in the world that tells us it's wrong to feel any anxiety. Okay? Dude, if you start focusing and living your day to feel zero anxiety, you are going to feel a multiple effect of anxiety because you are you are ultra sensitive to anxiety when it creeps in. All right, if you go through your day and you're like, fuck dude, I'm just gonna try to get through my day.

• 31:17Andy Frisella?

  I'm gonna get try to get through my day. I'm gonna try to get through my day. And then something happens. Okay? And then all of a sudden, you're like, fuck, fuck, I can't get through my one day without feeling this. And it causes an overreaction because you have an unrealistic expectation of a normal human emotion,

• 31:39Andy Frisella?

  which is anxiety, dude. So what's it telling you, bro?

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:44Andy Frisella?

  It's normal. What's it telling you? What's it telling you to do? If you're if you're if you're not where you're supposed to be, you're probably gonna feel it. If you're not doing what you're supposed to do, you're probably gonna feel it. If you're not living how you're supposed to live, you're probably gonna feel it. It doesn't mean there's something wrong. You gotta go fix that shit. All right, so that's my answer on that, dude. Like, it's it's something that everybody goes through. It's something that is fairly normal for most entrepreneurs. But it typically comes from not understanding what to do, not having a plan, uh, having unrealistic expectations about anxiety, uh, consuming the wrong information, and then thinking it's wrong to be a driven, ambitious human being, letting people convince you that it's wrong. It's not fucking wrong. It's required in society.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Bro, even just thinking about that for a second, like the people who tell you like, oh, you know. You're not supposed to have any anxiety. They're telling you to ignore all of that fucking warning signs to do it, which creates more like, bro, it's so wild.

• 32:40Andy Frisella?

  It's, listen, it's the predatory therapist industry at this point. Okay. They have convinced people that having any kind of anxiety means that there's something wrong with them. And that they need, and by the way, what are they trying to do? They're selling you something. And I can't think of a more disgusting way to make money than to convince people they have a problem that they don't actually have and then charge them money to solve it. Okay? Or convincing someone that they are mentally broken, when in reality, they're just not doing what a human's supposed to do, and then charging money forever to pretend like

• 33:22Andy Frisella?

  they're broken. Like dude, I can't think of a more scummy, low-life way to make a living. It's just my opinion.

• 33:31Andy Frisella?

  You're not broken, bro. You're fucking built for it and you need to go do it.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Love it, man. I love it, guys. Let's get to our third and final question. Question number three. Hi, Andy.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  I just like how they put there.

• 33:45Andy Frisella?

  Hello.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, greetings. Um, I love the show and I've been listening to it for years and I've taken so many lessons from it. My business partner and I opened up our practice in December of 2023 and have been collecting north of a hundred thousand dollars a month. Uh, great growth, uh, but hungry for more. With that, we've begun hiring people, uh, to help with the day-to-day operations and tasks. Unfortunately, one employee brings a lot of personal issues to work through her mood, effort with tasks, and sometimes messages, uh, saying she won't be in to work that day out of the blue. We rely on her to take stress off of our plate. Um, when she is there and on point, she's the best

• 34:30Speaker 01

  worker ever. But when she isn't, it frustrates both of us and puts more on our plate. Uh, we do the best to lead by example, discuss expectations, but these issues do present. Um, she's our first hire, so we are new to having someone work with us. Uh, any help on what to do? Fire her? Don't give up on her yet? Need some advice?

• 34:50Andy Frisella?

  Okay. First of all, it's, it's, it's important to understand why this is happening. If that's your first hire and that person, as you say, is an awesome employee, which I would have very strong arguments against this. But you, because you don't have experience,

• 35:07Andy Frisella?

  say that this person is awesome. She's awesome, right? So let's just go with that. Okay. This person is the best employee ever. I would bet that you have pointed to that person with the rest of your team and built them up uh many, many times. And now you have a problem of hubris and ego in that person. And they are leveraging you and your goodwill, thinking that they are untouchable. So you have a big problem here.

• 35:37Andy Frisella?

  The reason this is a big problem is because if that person is your highest performing person, and you have pointed to that person as your highest performing person, then your other employees are going to adopt the behavior of this person. And in reality, you don't want any of your employees to adopt the behavior of this person, regardless of how well they do the thing that you hired them for. Because just like you said, now you're dealing with all this other bullshit. You created this out of your inexperience, and that's no fault of yours. You don't know what you're doing. Most people don't when they make their first hire. But let me let you into this person's mind. That person thinks this.

• 36:20Andy Frisella?

  They need me, I was their first hire, I'm the best at what I do. I can get away with not showing up sometimes. I can get away with not doing the certain things like everybody else. That's what they think. So, what are your options? Well, your options are, you can either get that straightened out, and you can explain to them why it's important, and the reason it's important, and the reason it is important is because that person has been made an example for the other employees to follow. And if that person isn't doing things the way that you require people to do things, nobody else will either. And if you can explain that to someone, sometimes they will correct their behavior because they're not aware that they're actually a cancer to the culture and the operation of the business. But more than likely, that person is going to continue to believe

• 37:06Andy Frisella?

  they need me and I can do whatever I want. And they will eventually go back to their old ways. So, my recommendation would be to fire them, and then-

• 37:16Andy Frisella?

  Get everybody in a room and tell them this, I don't give a fuck how much you sell. I don't give a fuck how good you think you are. I don't care what you, how much you think we, we're gonna do things a certain way here. And they're gonna be done that way. And if you don't do, do them this way, you won't be here. And what that does is that shows your team that it doesn't matter who it is. If they don't contribute and they aren't a cultural fit and they don't do the basics. They're not gonna be here. Okay? Which, what do you think the rest of the team will do now? They're gonna say, and the conversation will go like this, well, fuck it. They're getting ready to get rid of Michelle and she's killing everybody. I mean, fuck dude, we better do what we're told and we better do it right.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:56Andy Frisella?

  Okay? So you're dealing with a lot of conversations and a lot of thoughts and things that you're not actually getting to see. Uh, but if you've been in business long enough, you know how it goes. So this is a normal thing that you're probably gonna deal with over and over again as a business owner. You're gonna have people that come in, they get so much better than everybody else that they think the rules don't apply. And the problem with that is, is that it destroys your culture. Because if you let them do that and don't let anybody else do that, your team's not gonna respect you. They're not gonna respect the company, they're not gonna respect the mission, they're not gonna go to bat for you, they're not gonna work hard. They're gonna say, well, fuck that. That's a different standard. People like to play by the same set of rules.

• 38:40Andy Frisella?

  Um, and, and the reality is, is if that person's doing that now and you, you, do you want them doing it when your business is 20 times bigger?

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:50Andy Frisella?

  You see what I'm saying? So my advice would be if I was, uh, you know, if you were hiring me to consult your company. Um, I would say, remove this person, explain to the team why, use it as a culture building lesson. And, uh, and the reality is dude, you know, your other employees probably hate that person. Because they gotta come in and do all this shit and that person's getting away with this other shit. They're probably like, fuck Michelle, fuck her. You see what I'm saying?

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Right. Good riddance.

• 39:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And then, and then what they, what, what, if you don't do anything about it. They say, well, fuck Michelle and DJ, that's DJ's little pet, fuck him, he's letting her. So they lose respect for her and you and the company and the mission and things don't go well. So. That's my answer. I wouldn't fucking put up with it. I have put up with it in the past. And every time I've ever put up with it, I got fucking burned. Every single time. So from now, I don't put up with it anymore. It is what it is.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  I was gonna ask you that, because I feel like that's like that also leads into, you know, I guess just emotions in business, right? Like as a operator owner, right? Like, how like, how hard was that to have to get your heart out of these emotional? Because like, bro, like, yeah, you want to care about people, right? Like, how hard is that?

• 40:03Andy Frisella?

  It's harder when you don't have degrees of separation between you and the people in your company. Because people will pull on your heartstrings and your, uh, good nature. They'll know that you have a good heart and they'll use it against you, dude.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Every time?

• 40:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Bro, I had a person one time, uh, come to me. And I'm just gonna give you an example of the kind of shit that you'll deal with. Um, I had a person come to me one time and tell me that they were sick and they couldn't afford their medical bills. Uh, the medical bills were $8,000. Okay? And $8,000 from where I'm at in life, um, can make a big impact on their life. Not on my, for me, I don't, I don't even notice it. Okay? Um,

• 40:54Andy Frisella?

  I paid the medical bills and a week later, the person quits. Okay? And then I called over to the department that they were in and I said, what, what, what happened here? And, um, the person had missed or left early in the last 12 months, 60 days. 60 days. Okay? Which I was infuriated why that was even tolerated in the first place. So I walked into my brother's office and I said, "You're never gonna fucking believe this." And I told him the story. And he said, "No fucking way." And I said, I said, "Why?" He goes, "That person came to me and asked me for five grand and I gave it to him two weeks ago."

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Aw shit, man.

• 41:37Andy Frisella?

  So, and because we're good people.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, bro.

• 41:40Andy Frisella?

  You understand? And we care about people. That's the kind of shit people will do to you. They don't care. They don't give a fuck about you. They, you know, now, in my case,

• 41:51Andy Frisella?

  I think that's a very rare, you know, exception to the rule from the people that we work with.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 41:58Andy Frisella?

  But.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  It happens.

• 42:00Andy Frisella?

  No, these, listen, I can tell you, this shit happens all the time, bro.

• 42:05Andy Frisella?

  You, you can't allow people to have an inch because they'll take fucking, they'll take a fucking mile. And, um, you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful who you letting your, dude, I was talking to my buddy earlier today.

• 42:19Andy Frisella?

  In the car world and he has a guy who won a billion dollar Powerball.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Shit.

• 42:27Andy Frisella?

  Okay, um, and

• 42:33Andy Frisella?

  I fucking commented back or I text him back. I said, well, dude, I hope he understands how to fucking push the scammers and the crooks and the this and that away because they come, bro. They come and, uh, people, you know, when you're a good person and you want to help people and you want to do right by people and people start to figure out that that's genuine, they will line the fuck up to take advantage of it. And, uh, it's disheartening. It's frustrating. It makes you feel like a fucking idiot. But at the end of the day, you know, when I die, I want to be able to say I did the right thing.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:08Andy Frisella?

  You know, and, uh, that's how I look at it. When I look back and I say, God, you're stupid for doing those things. But really dude, that's on people like that.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not on you.

• 43:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like it still pisses you the fuck off. Especially when these people go out in the real world and pretend like they're such great people. You know what I'm saying? But, um, it is what it is. And, uh, you know, getting back to the original question, I, you, you can't tolerate bad behavior just because people produce high value, uh, when they're there. Um, and when you said, oh, that's a perfect, that's not a fucking, that's a terrible employee, fucking terrible. You think it's good because they can sell some shit or they can do some shit. That's a terrible employee that will ruin your fucking business if you allow employees like that to exist in your company. So my advice to you would be to walk in and say,

• 44:01Andy Frisella?

  Thank you for everything that you've done, but these things are unacceptable and they're unacceptable for this reason. And if these things can't get fixed, and by fixed, I mean never ever fucking happen again. And you can't step up and lead the rest of the team with your actions and how you perform. Then we are going to have to part ways right now. And that person's going to be, they're gonna, they're gonna get defensive. They're gonna be like, I'm your best, blah, blah, blah. And if they do that, fucking fire them.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Get them out.

• 44:28Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:30Andy Frisella?

  Immediately. Now if they say, hey,

• 44:34Andy Frisella?

  I never thought about it like that, man. I'm, I'm sorry. I made you, I'm, I'm making you look fucking stupid, aren't I? If they say something like that, now they're getting it. Okay? And you could give that person a chance. But if they automatically go to, oh, I'm the best, fuck you. I don't give a fuck. I'd rather work with fucking, I'd rather work with people that are good people, that aren't as skilled and teach them the skill than someone like you who fucking thinks they're the best. And acts like a fucking dong bag. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's real shit, man. I love it. I love it, man. Well, guys, Andy, that was three.

• 45:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Don't be ho.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Shut the show.