832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to not be too hard on yourself when you over-obsess over the details in your work, how to develop the mentality to continue to achieve bigger goals in life, and what steps to take when you encounter big failures in business.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists saying goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You can submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions into [email protected] or you go on YouTube, drop your question in the comments section on the Q and A F episodes. We'll choose some from there as well. Now, throughout the week, we've got shows within the show. We're going to have CTI tomorrow. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's going on. We talk about what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the

• 1:01Andy Frisella?

  world. Other times, we have real talk. We throw those in once in a while, five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Verses. That's where someone who has completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how you can use the 75 Hard Program to transform your life. If you're unfamiliar with the 75 Hard Program, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard Program. The Live Hard Program is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever, and it's free. You can get it for free on our podcast audio feed only. It's not on YouTube. Podcast audio feed only, episode 208, give you the entire program

• 1:43Andy Frisella?

  for free. If you're someone who wants to know the intricate details of the program, you can buy the book. The book is available at andyfrisella.com. It is called The Book on Mental Toughness. It has the entire Live Hard Program, plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how you can use it to cultivate the life of your dreams. And you can get that at andyfrisella.com. Again, that's The Book on Mental Toughness. One thing about our show before we get going here is we do things a little bit different. We don't run ads on the show. Unless it's for this amazing first form screaming freedom, energy drink. We might run an ad or two on that, but otherwise we don't run ads and I don't run ads because I don't want to listen to someone tell me what I can and can't say.

• 2:28Andy Frisella?

  Uh, we try to keep it real here and we ask very simply in exchange for that, that you help us grow the show. Okay. So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, it's something that uh, you think needs to be shared. Do us a favor. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. Alright.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I'll up you one there. I got one cracked open.

• 2:45Andy Frisella?

  What you got?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Little screaming freedom.

• 2:46Andy Frisella?

  Oh yeah.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  I'm on a screaming freedom today too, bro.

• 2:49Andy Frisella?

  Makes me want to scream some freedom.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  It does.

• 2:51Andy Frisella?

  Scream. The freedom.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Let freedom scream. You know what I'm saying?

• 2:56Andy Frisella?

  Let freedom scream.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  What's going on though, man?

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  Nothing dude.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:01Andy Frisella?

  Ready to kick some ass.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. Make some people better?

• 3:05Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, let's go.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  It never felt so good.

• 3:07Andy Frisella?

  Never feels good. Uh, so good, you know, that it does today to make people better. I don't know what you're trying. I don't know. Let's just do the show, man. I just got, give me, give me what you got.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll give it to you, man.

• 3:18Andy Frisella?

  Okay, I know you will.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, guys, Andy, I got three good ones for you, man.

• 3:21Andy Frisella?

  Are you sick over there? Are you, you, you cold? You're cold?

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Bro, it's freezing in here.

• 3:27Andy Frisella?

  Is it?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  I really believe Klein comes in here and fucks with the thermostat.

• 3:31Andy Frisella?

  It's possible.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? You told me.

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  You guys all cold in here? Really?

• 3:35Speaker 01

  It's freezing.

• 3:37Andy Frisella?

  Maybe you all shouldn't hide in here all day and you wouldn't be cold.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  It's my only safe space, man. It's my safe space. Yeah, man. Well, guys, let's get better today, guys. We got three good ones for you, Andy. Um, guys, Andy. Question number one. Uh, Andy, I'm the kind of person who spends hours agonizing over every little detail. Uh, whether it's a work project or decorating my home, it's exhausting. And even when I finish something, I rarely feel satisfied. My friends tell me I'm too hard on myself, but I feel like if I let go of my standards, I'll be mediocre. How can I learn to embrace imperfection without feeling like I'm settling for less?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Let's get this kicked off, Andy.

• 4:23Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all, perfection will keep you ignorant and unskilled. Okay, if you were perfect all the time, how could you learn how to be any better? And this is something that people have a really hard time with. They set out, they want to do everything perfect, which by the way, you should want to do everything perfect. But what happens is that they have a hiccup, or they have an obstacle, or something doesn't go the way that they want, and they refuse to acknowledge the value in that situation. And the truth of the matter is, over the course of your life, over the course of your career, the mistakes you make are much more valuable than the perfection that you execute upon. Because the mistakes that you make are the things that teach you the skills, the resilience,

• 5:08Andy Frisella?

  the grit, the fortitude, and everything that you need to know to be successful long-term. So instead of being upset that you're not perfect in the beginning, you should be thankful that you're making these mistakes in the beginning when nobody's really paying attention to you. Because if you were to make those same mistakes 20 years from now, when you're running a hundred million dollar operation, everybody's gonna see them. Okay, so, and let's break this down further. You can't get to a hundred million dollar operation being perfect. Because you're not going to be able to learn the skills that are required to operate at that level, and then all the levels that come along the way. So.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  You're saying you will fail before you even get there?

• 5:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but dude, listen, the reason that people struggle is because they don't put enough value on the failures that they have. They're embarrassed, they get upset, they feel stupid, they start having doubts. But they don't realize that every single business, and every single entrepreneur, and every single person that they look up to, the reason that you look up to them is very simple. They are willing to go out, they are willing to fall on their face, over and over and over again, they don't give a shit what anybody thinks about it, they don't care what their friends say, they don't care what the media says, they don't care what anybody says, they're willing to fall down on their face, understanding that whatever happens past that, they won't make that same mistake again, and they keep moving.

• 6:37Andy Frisella?

  Being successful in anything is so simple, it's just that people aren't willing to go through the process of being embarrassed in front of people who, quite honestly, aren't going to matter. Over the course of your life. So instead of wanting to be perfect, do your best to be perfect. And then when you mess up, instead of getting down on yourself, instead of, you know, feeling bad, instead of beating yourself up, say, hey, all right, that's good. I learned that right here from this and I'll never make that mistake again. And then when you're doing 10, 20, 50, 100, 200, 500 million dollars and that same situation presents itself,

• 7:19Andy Frisella?

  you're going to remember, hmm, the last time I did that, this is what happened. And if I do that same thing now, it's going to cost me this much more. So, look dude, if you want to have a excruciating time being an entrepreneur, try to be perfect and get mad at yourself every time you mess up. If you want to enjoy the process and you want to enjoy it as much as you can, because it is a brutal journey and it's very difficult and it's hard for everybody, including you, including me, including anybody else, learn to value the things that you're learning from the mistakes that you make just as much as you value the perfection that you happen to hit by accident along the way. You know what I'm saying?

• 8:02Speaker 01

  It is by accident.

• 8:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, of course. You, if you don't have the skills and you don't, you know, like, you know, there's a thing, you can, you can hit a fucking home run without being a good hitter.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Swing enough bats.

• 8:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right. Like, look, man, you're gonna do things right sometimes. That doesn't mean you're skilled. So, don't let your ego get out in front of you and think just because you've done a couple of things in the beginning that you actually have the skills, because the skills can only come from making mistakes over and over and over again, or watching other people make mistakes and learning from their mistakes, which is a great way to learn as well.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, Andy, you talk about, you know, even just like actualizing your own individual success. Like, it's a, it's a strive thing, right? Like, you're never actually going to reach that. So you look at perfection pretty much the same way. Like, you're not gonna really ever reach that fucking pivotal, but you're always striving to get as close to it as possible, right?

• 8:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, look dude, we're on a time scale. Okay, you're gonna run out of time eventually. Like, the best entrepreneurs that I've ever met, they act like they're gonna live forever. You talk to these people that are in their seventies, and they're talking for the next thirty years. It's like, bro, you're gonna be in a box. You know what I'm saying? But like, they don't think, they don't think that way. And like, for example, like, if you took a guy like Jeff Bezos, I think Jeff Bezos is around sixty or so, right?

• 9:27Andy Frisella?

  You take a guy like Bezos, you take everything he knows, right? And you give him thirty more years. He's gonna accomplish a whole bunch more. But what's he gonna learn in those thirty years? And then if he were able to live to two hundred, what would he be able to accomplish because of what he's learned the last thirty years of his life? So, when you think about like, what potential is for an individual, you have to understand that it's capped only by the amount of time that we have. And so, if you actually subscribe to the idea of always improving, always getting better, actualizing your own potential, like you said, you're never gonna be able to reach your potential

• 10:11Andy Frisella?

  because you're gaining skills along the way through the process that you don't have time to fucking execute on at the end of your life. Does that make sense? So, the day that you die, if you've given it everything that you have, you actually have more skill and more potential than you've ever had before. Which is why it's important to like, transfer that knowledge as you go, right? Um, but, you know, it's weird to think about. But I think, you know, when you think about what you're gonna be the most proud of as a driven individual, and look dude, we're not talking to regular Joes here, okay? We're talking to driven people. We have to, we have to clarify that. When you, you guys who are driven individuals, who are hungry, who are the go-getters, who want to win,

• 10:55Andy Frisella?

  when you guys get out to, uh, you know, the end of your life, you're going to have regrets. And the reality is, is you get to choose through your actions, what regrets you're going to have. And for entrepreneurs and people who are driven to achieve, build, create, and who drive society in the proper direction, those people are always going to ask themselves, they're going to say, well, did I give it everything I had? Could I have done more? What could I have done? Right? And they're going to pay the price probably in some other areas of life. All right. That's the reality, but.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  That's the trade-off.

• 11:30Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you're going to have a trade, dude. You're not going to have it all. Everybody who says you're going to have it all is, you're not going to have it all. It's a trade. So, but certain people are wired for this kind of life. And if you're the kind of person that's wired for that life, a lot of reflection is going to come down to, did I do everything I could to maximize what I'm wired to do? And, um, if you subscribe to the idea of your potential always expanding and your skillset always expanding, uh, you know, you're, you're going to be proud of what you did because you're going to say, yeah, I continue to improve. I continue to innovate. I continue to reinvent myself. I continue to push. I continue to create. I continue to build. And I did that my whole life and I did everything I fucking could with the amount of time that I was given. And dude, that's, that's a noble thing because most people don't live that way.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:15Andy Frisella?

  And then if you take that same idea and you apply it to, let's say, your relationship, or you apply it to your friendships, or you apply it to your family, you can really have a really good, uh, well-rounded life without feeling like you have too many regrets. Like you're always going to have some regrets. Man, I, you know, I missed a couple of those soccer games or, you know, whatever it fucking is, right? But, um, but there's a trade-off for the quality of life that you're going to have for the things that, you know, you're going to ultimately regret. And that's just reality. There's no way to get out of your life without looking back and being like, fuck. I should have handled that different.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think and I think too for most for majority of people that conversation that that's talk happens at the end of it, right?

• 13:00Andy Frisella?

  For sure.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  If you're lucky, though, you have.

• 13:02Andy Frisella?

  The awareness.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Well, you have some near death experiences.

• 13:05Andy Frisella?

  Well, bro.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  Also push that.

• 13:07Andy Frisella?

  I'll tell you this, I mean, look, man. Every enlightened person that is like totally gets it. They've always had some sort of near death experience.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:16Andy Frisella?

  Like.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Cause you're having that conversation right there.

• 13:19Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so when I got stabbed when I was 23. It was that people, people get like so weird when I say dude, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, the reason that one of the reasons, there was a lot of reasons. It humbled me, it taught me a lot, taught me how to treat people better. There's a whole lot of things. But one of the main things that it taught me is that your time is finite. And when that happened, I went from like, kind of being like, I'm just being real, kind of like a tub of shit. You know, really not giving too much effort into my life. Kind of like, you know, it'll work itself out to being an aggressively driven individual because of that. Cause I'm like, fuck dude, that could be taken away from me in a second. I don't know when that's going to happen, so I'm going to fucking go hard, right?

• 14:03Andy Frisella?

  And everybody I know that has gone super, super hard. They all, you can always trace it back to something where their mortality was in jeopardy.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:13Andy Frisella?

  You know?

• 14:14Speaker 01

  And that conversation came real, I could shit. If I'm going right now, what did I do?

• 14:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right, dude.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 14:20Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  I love it, man. I love it. So, so don't be satisfied. Always works to do better and learn from the mistakes. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy, I'm currently on day 27 of 75 hard. I am learning so much about myself and my self-discipline. I have worked in healthcare for over 25 years in different genres, long-term care, day treatment, nursing homes, inpatient psych, and most recently in hospitals. I'm not a clinician, but a manager of over 250 volunteers in a prestigious academic medical center. I'm really good at what I do and I have picked up so much knowledge along the way. I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree and I know I can do more.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  The other day I listened to my boss's voice and reached out to the CEO and chief human resources office, officer for the entire system to ask them their thoughts of going back to school to attain a higher level within the system. So. I now have a meeting with the chief HR officer to discuss my qualifications and what I can do. I know I can do more and I'm wondering if you have any advice for me that I can use in my upcoming meeting. Thanks in advance.

• 15:33Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all, you can do even more than that. Like you guys have to understand, all right? All these people that you look up to, all these people that you think have these special skills or they're in these uh super high achievement areas of life. These people, very few of them have any special skills that you don't have. Most of these people are just regular people. They are people just like you, bro. They put their pants on like you, they have problems just like you, they get frustrated, they get angry, they get disappointed, they get excited, they do stupid shit, just like you, okay? There's no difference and we make a mistake as humans when we look at other people

• 16:19Andy Frisella?

  and we say they have something that I don't or they must be more qualified than me or they must be smarter than me or they come from a better family or they were born with more advantages and we're experts at telling ourselves all these reasons as to why other people are and we aren't, okay? And we have to get out of that habit because every single great thing that's ever been created in the history of the world was created by a human being and guess what you are? You are a human being just like them. You have access to more information, to more skill set, to faster learning

• 17:02Andy Frisella?

  than anybody who has ever existed before you in the history of earth. So what is it about you that makes you incapable compared to everybody else? And I'm going to give you the answer, the answer is nothing. The answer is the belief in your ability to achieve and become things that nobody you have ever seen in your own. Universe has done, and that is our limiting beliefs. We look at everybody we know personally, and we look at them and we say, okay, well, that's the most successful guy I know. He's a doctor. He makes $400,000 a year, or makes $700,000 a year. He's got a nice house. He drives a Mercedes.

• 17:46Andy Frisella?

  That is the limit of what I could maybe do, and I'm probably way below that because he's a doctor. Okay, so we are, and what are we told growing up? We're told these things. Think about in school, dude. When you're a little bitty kid, your parents, if you had decent parents, they'll tell you, you could be anything you want. You could be the president one day, right? But then you go to school, and in first grade, second grade, third grade, you know, they'll entertain that shit. But by the time you're in fifth, sixth, seventh grade, they've started the process of indoctrinating you into your own limitations. They've started telling you, hey DJ, I know you said you wanted to be a president, but you need to be more realistic, okay?

• 18:30Andy Frisella?

  We need, we need to, we need to get you, you know, maybe you could work at 7-Eleven, you know, that'd be, you could be the president of 7-Eleven. And they start telling you all this shit and instilling doubt in you. And bro, these are the, this is what's wrong with the education system. We, we deal, and by the way, it's not just the education system, it's our culture, okay? Your parents will start telling you that. They'll start telling you, well, you better, you better figure it out because you got, you only got a few more years left till you're out on your own, and they start putting all this extra pressure and doubt inside of us. And then we get to high school, right? And we're like, you know, little DJ is like, well, I want to be president. And you tell your friends that, and they fucking make fun of you, and they throw you in the locker, right?

• 19:11Andy Frisella?

  So, so over the course of time, our dreams, our goals, our aspirations, our belief in ourself is watered down by the environment that we all grow up in. And I believe, like we talk about on CTI, that that environment is intentionally created for the proposition of controlling the population, alright?

• 19:32Andy Frisella?

  They listen to Tuesdays and Friday shows for that.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Come back tomorrow for that one.

• 19:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but the point is, guys, is that you don't really have limits. You have what you have been told your limits are and you have chosen to believe that those are your limits. And that's why you have this problem going for the things you really want. And instead going for the things that are more realistic, right?

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Settled.

• 19:56Andy Frisella?

  Like, man, I'd really like to have that, that, you know, that 40 ounce rib eye. But I'll take that three ounce fucking strip steak instead. It's almost the same thing. No, it's not. There's a big fucking difference. Okay. And there's a big difference in you settling for this mediocre position. And you actually going for what you want to be. So, so I say all that to say this. I think it's great that you're, you're taking initiative. I think it's great that you are starting to move in the right direction. I salute you. I think it's amazing. I think you need to continue on the live hard program for a number of years. Because the more years you do it, the more belief you will instill in yourself. With the idea that you're going to get to a place where you're going to go to the max distance of what you really want.

• 20:42Andy Frisella?

  And that's what my, my suggestion would be for you. Take the baby step right now. You're already in the process of it, but don't make that the, the step. That's a stepping stone to where you really want to be. And I would start thinking about where you really want to be and start taking action for what you really want to do. Because big dreams create big action, which create big results. And little dreams create little action, which creates a little bitty life that we end up regretting. So you're much better than you think you are. And you need to remember that most of the doubt and most of the things that you struggle with were installed in you. By people around you who have already given up on what their life could have been.

• 21:23Andy Frisella?

  And they want you to do so as well, because it makes them feel more comfortable about their mediocre existence.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Right. It's all people who, who were, who limited themselves.

• 21:30Andy Frisella?

  Correct.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Passing that.

• 21:31Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 21:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 21:34Andy Frisella?

  It's everybody.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:35Andy Frisella?

  Do you know how many people told me over the course of my life? Okay, I'm 45 years old. You know, I don't even want to say what I'm worth because people get pissed, but it ain't fucking nine figures.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 21:45Andy Frisella?

  Okay, it's more than that.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  You're all right.

• 21:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. I've built a bunch of different companies, been very successful, done a lot of fucking big things. And I was, I was the dumbest motherfucker ever. If you go back in grade school, everybody made fun of me. I got picked on. In high school, I was a C D student. You know, no, there's not a single teacher that I ever fucking had, ever, that would fucking, would have said, Andy Frisell is gonna turn out like I have turned out. Not a single one. And that's no disrespect to them. Okay? Cause I didn't figure it out till after that. And if I had looked at me in high school, I would say the same. But I got to a point where I'm like, you know what, dude? I don't want any of these motherfuckers' lives. I just don't. And that's, that's, and that is not me looking my nose down to whatever someone chooses for themselves.

• 22:31Andy Frisella?

  That's just not what I wanted. Okay? I wanted to make a lot of money. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to travel. I wanted to have nice shit. I wanted to build companies. That is what I chose for myself and I didn't let anybody talk me out of it. Like when people would say, you know, little remarks and things like, dude, you're a little vitamin shop or this or that. Like, bro, I never, for one time, did I think like, fuck, all we're gonna be is a little vitamin shop. I would get like pissed and I would look at the motherfucker in my head and I'd be like, dude, fuck you. Like, I'm gonna show you, bro. Watch this. Yeah. And, and, and I, and we've done it. You know, and Sal's wired the same way. My business partners are all, anybody I'm in business with has that chip on their shoulder. Yeah, don't believe in us, bro. Fucking doubt us. Fucking make fun of us.

• 23:16Andy Frisella?

  Laugh, giggle, make remarks. Please do, because I take all of that shit and I turn it into productive energy and I end up stepping on your fucking throat with that. So, we have to learn as individuals to take all the negativity and disbelief and doubt and limits that people put on us and turn it into real action and shove it down their fucking throats. That's what you have to do. If you can't do that, you won't succeed because you get so much negativity and so much limiting belief and so much doubt and so much bullshit that happens over the course of the journey that you're on, that if you can't take it and turn it into productive action, it's gonna wear you down, bro. It'll crush you. So you have to have it.

• 24:01Andy Frisella?

  It's not an option. And we have these people who say all this idealistic shit on the internet. Uh, don't do it to prove them wrong. Do it to prove them right. What the fuck have you done? See what I'm saying, bro? Like, bro, we have this scenario where people want to make, there's nobody that's that tough, that can take all of that criticism, all of that pain, all of that doubt, all of that shit, and fucking just wear it and not use it. You have to use it. We only have so much energy available to us. We have positive energy. Hey, I believe in you.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  It's gonna be a great day, yeah.

• 24:35Andy Frisella?

  You're qualified. You, bro, listen, you can do this. Okay, there's that. And then there's, what the fuck are you thinking? Bro, that's not for people like you. What, you better be realistic, dude. You're gonna be broke. Now, let me ask you. There's fucking six people in this room. Do you get more positive or do you get more negative?

• 24:53Speaker 01

  You're gonna get way more negative, bro.

• 24:54Andy Frisella?

  What do you, what do you guys get?

• 24:57Andy Frisella?

  Every single motherfucker in here has gotten more negative than positive. Well, if you can only use the small amount of positive and you can't use the negative, you're missing out on most of the energy required to get where you want to go. So you have to learn to have that chip on your shoulder, and you have to learn how to process negativity in order to produce the positive outcome that you're looking to create.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. I want to hit on this, man, because I think it's important. You, you said, you know, you, like, and we don't want to look down on anybody if that's what they chose to do. Problem is, most people are settling in their lives.

• 25:28Andy Frisella?

  No. Mo, you're, listen, you're correct. Here's what you're saying. And I agree with you. I have no problem with anybody. In fact, I admire people who are living the way they want to live.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  If it's actually their choice.

• 25:44Andy Frisella?

  If it's genuine and authentically what they want.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, bro.

• 25:48Andy Frisella?

  But there's so, but that's not most people. Most people settle and then pretend that that's what they actually wanted, so that they can be noble. You know, I'm, you know, I, I could have done all that, but you know, I chose, I chose to, bro, I watched you. You didn't do shit. You laid on your couch and fucked off. You didn't try to do anything, right? And you got what you got, and now you're pretending like that's what you wanted. You're lying.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  There's no validity in that, yeah.

• 26:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro. Listen, there, it's all bullshit. Most people never become anything because they're lazy, they don't believe in themselves, they aren't willing to take a risk and put in work that doesn't have a guaranteed outcome. And then at the end of their life, they get to fucking look at themselves in the mirror and be like, fuck, I didn't do shit. And that's their, that's their trade-off. So they get a comfortable life and a hard pill to swallow at the end of it.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 26:38Andy Frisella?

  And by comfortable, I don't mean comfortable. I just mean like lazy comfortable.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right.

• 26:42Andy Frisella?

  Like they still gonna have high amounts of discomfort. You know, that's the other thing people don't understand.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Can't escape that.

• 26:47Andy Frisella?

  It's gonna be fucking hard no matter what, dude. Like, it's going to be hard whether you put in all the work to become successful, or whether you don't put any of the work and you fucking struggle your whole life. It's, you know, I actually am the first fucking person that said, choose your hard back in two, I got the meme to prove it. Now everybody says it.

• 27:04Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 27:05Andy Frisella?

  But it is what it is.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  That's fine.

• 27:06Andy Frisella?

  Lots of shit that I said original. But yeah, dude, you choose your hard. You can either fucking choose the path of hard work and, you know, bear fruit, or you could choose the path of being lazy and it's gonna be a hard life and that's it.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, let's do our third and final question. Andy, we've got question number three. Uh, hey, Andy, I'm 25 and near bankruptcy. I started a business a few years ago, uh, in video production and quickly worked my way up, uh, to 250,000 a year, being the only one in the business. Over the past few months, I let my ego get the best of me, uh, and I have no money left. I'm behind on taxes, $60,000 in credit card debt, spent it all on going out and expensive purchases, and I got lazy and overweight, uh, lost quite a few clients and business is slow over the winter, but I am working my way back.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  What advice do you have for me or other entrepreneurs who have self sabotaged after getting their first success? Thank you, guys. I hope this one makes it on the pod and I think others can relate. Self sabotage, how do you, what, what do you do after that moment you realize?

• 28:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, self sabotage, bro. You just didn't know how to handle any kind of fucking good shit happening. Okay, it's a, it's a normal lesson. That's a normal lesson of entrepreneurship. The difference is, most people let that bury them and then they say, fuck, I tried being an entrepreneur and it didn't work.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  Went for me.

• 28:27Andy Frisella?

  Okay, that's, you're at least saying, alright, I recognize what I did. Uh, I got fat, I got lazy, I let my ego fucking think I was the man, and I spent all my money and now I'm gonna fucking shitstorm.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 28:40Andy Frisella?

  I can respect that. I respect the honesty. And the fact that you're willing to own it says that, you know, I don't think you'll do that again. Right? And that's a valuable lesson. So let's go back to the question that I, we asked, question number one. How valuable is that lesson for you to be $60,000 in debt instead of 60 million in debt 10 years from now?

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:00Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so you're learning a very valuable lesson that is going to be relatively cheap. And I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but it's going to be relatively cheap for you to learn versus what it would cost you in five, 10, 15 years. So first off, I'd be thankful that you're an idiot. And that you're an idiot now and not later. Okay. Secondly, I would take out a piece of paper and I would write the lesson right there on the piece of paper in a big ass fucking Sharpie marker and I'd tape that motherfucker on your bathroom mirror and everywhere you need to see it because if you have the tendency to do this, you're, you're going to have the tendency to do it again. Okay. Because you are playing the entrepreneur game for the wrong reasons and you need to adjust those reasons.

• 29:43Andy Frisella?

  And what I mean by that is this, you are playing to, to fund a lifestyle. And you need to be playing to create impact and value in your customer base. And if you create impact and value in your customer base, you will make so much money that your lifestyle won't be a problem. So let's take the mo, let's be honest about your motivation because you didn't make much money, bro. I mean, I know that you think you made a lot of money.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  You think you made, you didn't.

• 30:11Andy Frisella?

  Right, right. Okay. And then you figured out a way to fucking spend it.

• 30:15Andy Frisella?

  You need to understand that if you really want to have a great lifestyle, you gotta take the focus off of yourself. And you gotta put it on your people, you gotta put it on your company and the rest of that shit will take care of itself. Okay. So let's make that adjustment right now. Let's make a conscious, uh, you know,

• 30:35Andy Frisella?

  point to not make this mistake again and let's start digging it out. And you say, okay, well, what do I do to dig out? Well, fuck, bro, you gotta start chipping away. You know, there's no, there's no magic success fairies could fly down and give you a check for a hundred grand and get you out of your hole. That's it. You're gonna have to go, you're gonna have to do the work. I would recommend getting on the Live Hard program, starting 75 hard, getting your fat ass back in shape, getting your mental sharp and everything else will follow that.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Let me ask you this Andy, because I, I've heard this before. I don't think you've ever really talked about this, but. What is the right way to win? Meaning like, how do you celebrate the win like the right way? Like winners know how to win, right? Like act like you've been here before. My coach used to tell me that all the time. Act like you've been here before, right? How, what's the appropriate way to do it? In, in success.

• 31:22Andy Frisella?

  I mean, let's be real dude. Do you see fucking Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or fucking any? Do you see me or fucking anybody in the club popping bottles and acting like they're fucking first time they ever got a fucking dollar?

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 31:34Andy Frisella?

  Do you, do you see that?

• 31:35Speaker 01

  No, not at all.

• 31:36Andy Frisella?

  Right. Because it ain't. And I don't know anybody that's successful that acts like a, like some of these fuckers online. Like, you know, like the shit they do, we're fucking, it's embarrassing and it makes them look like amateurs. So yeah, um, you know, be classy, be cool, reward yourself, you know? But realize that, you know, people are, the, the people that don't like you aren't gonna like you no matter what you do. So you gotta do what you like. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of people that fucking don't like me because I drive fucking cool ass shit and I fucking post on the internet. But you know why I do that? Because there's a lot of people that are young Andys out there. They're gonna think that shit's awesome and be aspiring to fucking kick ass. Cause they're like, fuck, okay. If I go kick ass, I could drive a cool car. I could drive a bunch of them.

• 32:20Andy Frisella?

  I could drive a different one every day of the month. You know what I'm saying? Like I can live on a fucking historic, you know, like it's inspiring, bro. And you know, there's a difference between inspiring and just being a fucking jackass. You know, like these dudes on the internet throwing money in the air and shit, you know?

• 32:37Speaker 01

  It's not like it's a fine line. Like it's, it's a pretty good one.

• 32:40Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. It's just fucking, don't be a douchebag.

• 32:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:42Andy Frisella?

  That's what it comes down to.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 32:44Andy Frisella?

  I, I, look dude, this guy here, you got a long way before you should be buying any cars.

• 32:52Andy Frisella?

  Spending money on vacations or club. Like dude, I see, man.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  No, that's, bro, they need this.

• 32:58Andy Frisella?

  The internet, the, the internet's a really fucking hard place. Because it causes people who are doing pretty good to do really dumb shit. That keeps them from doing better. Like, you know, like, you know, like buying, buying exotic car too early.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  I gotta get a watch.

• 33:15Andy Frisella?

  Cause he had the watch. Yes. Or traveling private when it's fucking a hundred times more expensive. Too early. Uh, just so you could take a picture for the Instagram. Like dude, that shit will bury your fucking ass. You know what I mean? And the truth of the matter is, is like, you know?

• 33:34Andy Frisella?

  If I, you know, I don't know. I just, I just, I just think you should live below your means for as long as you fucking possibly can. And that's it.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 33:42Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  I love it. Guys.

• 33:44Andy Frisella?

  Forever.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:45Andy Frisella?

  Like, bro, like, these people that you see living in a, a twenty million dollar house and having fucking, you know, thirty million dollars a car, you don't realize how much money those motherfuckers have made. They're living within their means.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:57Andy Frisella?

  You just don't get it.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  Well below it.

• 33:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you, you have never conceptualized the amount of money that you can make if you went out and built something real. And because of that, you think that other people that are wealthy are spending all their money on lifestyle and shit when they're not. They're spending a small percentage on it, and then they're using their money to create more money, which pays for their life. You see what I'm saying?

• 34:21Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 34:22Andy Frisella?

  And it's unfortunate, you know, I'm, I'm pretty thankful that, you know, I built most of my, uh, the base and the foundation of, of, of my success personally before social media really took off. Uh, and then I was able to leverage those skillsets into digital, but one thing that I had that, that these other guys don't have is I didn't have, you know, two hundred fucking knuckleheads in my, in my face every day with Lamborghinis and fucking flashy watches and shit, like distracting me. Like, I didn't have that. Like, I, I was, I had Tony Robbins books.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's a perfect word, too, distraction.

• 35:04Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, like, I never felt like, I never felt like, fuck, I need to buy this watch because he has this watch. Or I need to go out and, you know, sacrifice the growth of my company because I need this car. Like, that was never, that was never a thing for me because the internet wasn't what it is today. And now we have a lot of people who, you know, they compare themselves to these motherfuckers online. And as you guys are seeing, more and more and more of these guys are getting caught up in lawsuits and federal cases and indictments. And it's just showing you, like, this isn't real. They're not real. Like, if they haven't built a real company, if they, they don't have employees and they haven't built multiple companies and you can't order their products, and you, and, and, you know, you can't see what they built. You can't experience their company.

• 35:50Andy Frisella?

  Like, motherfucker, you shouldn't be fucking paying them for business advice. You just shouldn't. Like, why the fuck would you do that? You see what I'm saying? And we have a lot of people who don't know any better and it's sad and this is, this is part of the reason why I'm starting MFCEO project again. Because for the last four years, and by the way, we're keeping this show going. It's gonna be on an app. But for the last four years, we focused on dude, cultural awareness. Like, hey, we fucking lose here, there ain't gonna be an opportunity for any fertile soil. Well, now we're gonna get our fertile soil back and people, young people are gonna have to learn how to really win. So I wanna turn my focus back because I have built a number of very real things.

• 36:29Andy Frisella?

  Um, to, to training these younger people how to actually build things and actually win. Not just this hocus pocus fucking bullshit. You know, cuz dude, for us to keep this country. It's ver- you know, we talk about this all the time, dude. You gotta have the soil and then you gotta plant the seeds and harvest out of it. And we were about to have soil that would never allow us to plant seeds and, and harvest out of it. And now we are going to have that and you guys need to learn how to plant and fucking harvest. And so that's, that's what I'm gonna do and, and I was called to do it. Uh, I felt called to do it again. Because I see so much fucking garbage out there of people being misled and taken advantage of and

• 37:11Andy Frisella?

  taught things that aren't real by people who've never done anything. Because they, they, you know, because of what they see on the internet, like, bro.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  It's not it.

• 37:21Andy Frisella?

  It's, it, it, yeah, no.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  It's not it, man.

• 37:26Andy Frisella?

  Well, fuck, would you other, would you rather look like you have money or would you rather have money?

• 37:29Speaker 01

  I'd rather have the money.

• 37:30Andy Frisella?

  No shit, bro.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, obviously.

• 37:31Andy Frisella?

  And that's, that's the problem with Instagram right now.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Hmm, so, well, guys, maybe it's a hell of a way to start a Monday.

• 37:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, alright guys, we'll see you tomorrow on CTI, don't forget, don't be a hoe.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  Show the show.