1072. Q&AF: "Dead-End" Career, Safe Job Vs Dream Job & Reclaiming Your Fitness

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what to do when your hard work doesn't lead to a promotion, when to leave a safe job to pursue your dream career, and how to get back in shape to become the best version of yourself.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and illusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and AF, that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ is going to tell you how you can submit your questions.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Yeah guys, you can email these questions in to [email protected]. You can also check the links below in the description and submit your videos or your questions, or just simply drop your questions in the comment section of the Q and AF videos right here on YouTube.

• 0:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and if you guys are tuning in for personal development, uh, just so you know, I am doing the MFCEO project. I've been doing it all year long. It is at theoperatorstandard.com.

• 0:58Andy Frisella?

  If this is what you guys tune in for, you're going to get much more in-depth information on there. Plus it's paired with the most powerful personal development tool that has ever been developed. You can check that out at operatorstandard.com. If this is your first time listening, uh, today's Q and AF and we have CTI tomorrow. That's Cruise the Internet as we talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate, we have a couple laughs and then we have to talk about how we, the people, solve this problem going on in the world. Okay, and then we're going to have 75 hard verses. We have a few of those coming up that are really good before the end of the year. That's where someone who comes on the show, uh, has completed the 75 hard program and talks about how they were before and how they are now and how they use that program to transform their lives.

• 1:43Andy Frisella?

  If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it's the initial phase of the Live Hard program that you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed.

• 1:56Andy Frisella?

  There's also a book called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get that at andyfrisella.com. It is not free, but it does have a whole bunch of more information than you will get on the audio podcast. If you're unfamiliar with, uh, Live Hard, 75 Hard, it's the world's most popular mental transformation program. Okay, it's helped more people get their shit together than any other program in history. So, uh, check that shit out, alright? And yeah, we're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. So we ask very simply that, uh, you help us grow the show by sharing it. So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective, if you learn something, which you will, uh, do us a favor and don't be a hoe.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 2:36Andy Frisella?

  What's up?

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Winners win, baby. Winners win, bro. Madat's not here, but he's been, uh, kicking some ass. Just wanted to give him a little plug.

• 2:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? Winners fuck it. Do you hate winning? Or, or what's the saying that they like, uh, you, you have to hate losing more than you love winning? Do you agree with that?

• 2:55Andy Frisella?

  You know, most people put themselves into a camp of, I'm either a, I hate losing or I love winning.

• 3:05Andy Frisella?

  You know, the biggest winners on the planet expect to win. They don't, they don't hope to win. So when you expect to win and winning is the expectation, then you're really not that surprised when you win.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:20Andy Frisella?

  So every single person that I know that has accomplished something that I admire, if you really dig into them, they're hate to lose people because their expectation is to win. So, you know, that's, that's my take on it. I am definitely that way. Uh, I expect to win, period, and, uh, I hate to fucking lose.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. Now, was it all, always that way? Cause I'm trying to imagine like the 19-year-old Andy, you know what I'm saying? Or the 20-year-old Andy, they make their win, you're like, fuck dude, fucker winning. You know, like, was it always that way for you? Or was that like a?

• 3:52Andy Frisella?

  Well, no, because I didn't always win. And in the beginning, I, I lost all the time. So, you know, that expectation sort of came over the course of time where you get better, you get more confidence, you get another win, another win and another win until you kind of figure out what it takes to win. Whether you're playing a game or you're in business or you're, uh, building an organization or whatever you're doing. You know, the, the attitude, the, the mathematical equation and the attitude that you have to have for winning is consistent. And so, once you sort of figure that out, you know, it becomes the expectation. I mean, that's just what you're expecting to do.

• 4:34Andy Frisella?

  So, you know, I, I always think it's weird when people win and then they like over celebrate. It's like, dude, what were you?

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, what did you expect?

• 4:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's what you think was supposed to do.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:45Andy Frisella?

  And I also think that when you get overly excited about winning, I think it shows that you really don't understand that the recipe for winning is an actual recipe and it's not left, left up to circumstance. You know what I'm saying?

• 4:59Speaker 01

  That's real. That's real. Like they're, they're shocked by the win. It's like, well.

• 5:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, they haven't figured out yet that it is, it is, it is an equation. Right? It's certain inputs equals certain outputs.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:08Andy Frisella?

  And when people haven't figured that out, they tend to like get really excited when they win.

• 5:14Andy Frisella?

  And I get, I get a little nervous when I, when I get around people like that because it's like, well, if you're that excited about winning,

• 5:23Andy Frisella?

  do you know why you won? You know what I mean?

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. And it's obvious like you, you don't know why you won.

• 5:29Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, it's okay to be excited about winning, but I'm saying overly excited.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:33Andy Frisella?

  You know, like, like when you get emotionally, uh, disproportionately high on winning, you know, a couple of things happen, you know? One, um, it tells me that maybe you don't understand the recipe on how to win. Number two, uh, it opens up the door for your ego to, to blind your actions and your judgment.

• 5:59Andy Frisella?

  And so those are things that you're cognizant of when people get too high, uh, when, when they win.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  You didn't win, your actions won.

• 6:07Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  I was just going to say that the, the first fact that you said is because those people don't have systems like you have.

• 6:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  So they were doing some things they don't know what to do and something worked. And you have said, if you take 10,000 hits, one of them will land.

• 6:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  And then they get super excited about it.

• 6:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  This is one of the things that I've learned from you is that you create systems around why it worked. And then you repeat those systems and that's why you always hope to, like, you always expect to win. You're not, you're not hoping to win. That's like the biggest difference.

• 6:35Andy Frisella?

  Well, yeah, I mean, I think that's, I think that's consistent amongst anybody who wins. You know, look, it's one thing to win. It's another thing to win for decades.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 6:45Andy Frisella?

  Completely different thing.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:46Andy Frisella?

  Okay, it's one thing to win, it's another thing to continue to win. Lots of people win, but they win once or twice. You're going to be alive for a long time, dude. You're going to be in the game for much longer than you think. And if you can't figure out the actual recipe of how to win, you're sort of just playing the happenstance circumstance game that maybe you'll get into a position. And just because you won once, doesn't mean that you are in a position to understand what it's going to take to replicate that over the course of time. And so, when you really like look at who you want to, uh, learn from the most, who I want to learn from the most is I don't want to learn from the guys who,

• 7:32Andy Frisella?

  and this goes back to 20 years ago, I recognize this. I don't want to learn from people who just won one thing. I want to learn from people that wherever you put them, whatever they do, whatever's in front of them, they do well and they win.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 7:44Andy Frisella?

  And those people have figured out the recipe for success.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Every time there is any YouTube comment about you that's talking about like, hey, this, that, and something negative, I like, okay, okay. Has, has any other person done that and won for 26 years, 25 years straight?

• 8:03Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  People can do the wrong thing and keep.

• 8:05Andy Frisella?

  Not in our, not in our industries.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Absolutely not.

• 8:08Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  And that's why we see all those people like coming and going so quick on social.

• 8:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Yeah, it happens all the time, dude.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 8:15Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Because it's very easy with the tools now to gain a lot of success very quickly in terms of like sales or attention. Uh, it's a completely different thing, building something that lasts.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  They haven't built the framework to sustain it. That's why lottery winners go broke in like three to five years.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Hell yeah. Well, shout out to Madat, bro. Fucking winners win, dog.

• 8:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  I think he expected to win.

• 8:39Andy Frisella?

  Of course he did.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  I know he did.

• 8:41Andy Frisella?

  Cause he's a winner.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's been winning medals for the last four years.

• 8:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but he's also works his ass off every single day.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  He knows the inputs that need to go into that.

• 8:48Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, a hundred percent, dude. I love it, man. Well, winners, let's keep winning. Uh, let's get better. We got three good ones for you. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy. Hey, Andy. Uh, I've been wrestling with something for a while now. I'm 27 years old and I'm a skilled tradesman, a machinist. Um, I've been in my current company for eight years now. It's where I was hired into directly after tech school. A management position has recently become available and the management here has made it abundantly clear that they are not promoting from within due to it being difficult to replace us skilled workers. I asked and was told this directly.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  How do you know when it's time to move on from an employer that doesn't seem to value the promotion of its loyal employees? This job has been all I've known and I've seen places like 1P that build careers for people and it's soul crushing to think that I may be at a dead end job despite being a skilled worker with years dedicated to my craft. What do we do in this situation?

• 9:52Andy Frisella?

  Well, number one dude, first of all, you gotta put yourself in someone else's shoes. Okay? That reason that they're giving you is a valid reason because your skillset and the skillset of managing and leading are not the same skillset. And a lot of people believe that because they're good at something, that they will be good at the next thing just because. We see this a lot with doctors. Okay? We see this a lot with people who had to go to higher education and they become doctors. But because they went to school for 16 years, they believe that they're also good entrepreneurs or they're good business people. And I gotta be real dude, some doctors, most doctors or some doctors are really good business

• 10:36Andy Frisella?

  people, most of them, their egos are so big that they can't learn the new skill of how to operate the thing. Okay? So like being a chiropractor and running a chiropractic practice, two different things. Being a dentist, running a dental office, two different things. Being a skilled tradesman and leading the company and the people, two different things. Okay? So from the point of view of the owners of the company, this move makes sense if you or other people inside do not show through their daily actions, the skills of automatically leading. See, you are auditioning for your next position now. Okay?

• 11:20Andy Frisella?

  And if you want a management position or a leadership position, then you have to lead before you are named a leader or a manager. And that is how those people are found. So I would guess, not knowing anything other than what you wrote in, that the people who own your company are looking at the skilled tradesmen and they're saying, okay, these guys are great at what they do. They're not necessarily leaders, managers. We're gonna have to bring someone in to organize this. Okay? And if you did want, first of all, you gotta ask yourself, you want that job? Okay? Just because it's higher up on the pay scale potentially, it probably, I don't even know if it is, because a lot of times, salespeople make more than their managers.

• 12:01Andy Frisella?

  Um, and I don't know how it is in the trades, but even if that's the case, you're gonna need to ask yourself, do I want that job? Because I'm gonna tell you dude, managing and leading people is the hardest job you could possibly ever have. It's the fucking hardest job, which is why it's so rare. So doing it well.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was gonna say being good at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:23Andy Frisella?

  So there's that. Now, if you wanted that position, then you should be and should have been already working on developing your leadership, management, organizational skills to show that you can do that job before you actually get the job. And this is a big problem with people who work for other companies. You know, they're an employee or they're an entrepreneur or whatever you wanna call it. A lot of times, these people expect just to move up the chain because they're there thinking that when they get to that spot, then they can get the money and learn the skill. When in reality, you have to learn the skill, display the skill and then get chosen and then you get the title. And that's how it works in an organization, almost exclusively.

• 13:06Andy Frisella?

  Um, so those are all things that I would think about. Now, to answer your question, I, I really don't even know that you're seeing it correctly because just because you didn't get that job, doesn't mean it's a dead end job. What it really means is you didn't display enough skills, uh, to be an automatic choice for that job. And like we talk about all the time on the show, the only way you truly move ahead and the only way you win with intrapreneur, intrapreneurship and entrepreneurship is by being undeniably the choice. If you are inside an organization, you have to be undeniably the choice for that next role. If you are an entrepreneur, then your company and your product and what you offer has to be the undeniable choice for the consumer.

• 13:51Andy Frisella?

  And this is what we talk about when we talk about what people think it takes versus what it actually takes is usually two different things. So I don't know if you're in a dead end job because I don't know what the company's trying to do. I don't know where they're trying to grow. I don't know where they're trying to expand it. I would be very careful to say it's a dead end job just because you didn't get this one position.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. I think that's important. I feel like he's definitely looking at it wrong. And I think too, well, I mean, if they're saying that you got all the skills and you're so valuable in that, in that place, why are you not replicating yourself then?

• 14:22Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Why, you should be, you know what I'm saying? Like, they're, they're telling you what the problem is.

• 14:27Andy Frisella?

  Take all the people that you got around you and make them as good as you.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I think of it like this too, because I know, you know, you talk about this, especially like in businesses and how important culture is. I would think it would probably make more sense, bro, if, if you were the guy, because you do know the culture, you've been there long, you know what I'm saying? Rather than have to bring somebody outside in that doesn't know the culture and have to teach, you know what I'm saying?

• 14:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it makes more sense for an organization, except when you don't have someone that's even close to filling that role.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  That's right. I think that in them, from that employee's perspective, and I've seen this in other companies, they come from a place of insecurity, that if they make other people as good as them, their value would not be as they think they are in the company.

• 15:04Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's not the truth.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  That's not the truth, but from an employee's perspective.

• 15:08Andy Frisella?

  That's, that's scarcity loser thinking.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:11Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Where's that gonna get you?

• 15:13Andy Frisella?

  The best players, the best, the highest paid people make everybody around them better. Period. Um, so to answer your question about whether or not it's a dead end job, I, I don't know if it is. If it is, then obviously you gotta make some changes. You're 27 years old, bro. That's not old. You're very young. You just gained six, seven, eight years of real experience that you have that's super valuable, but still even like if you were gonna go to another place or you're gonna go to start your own place or whatever it is, those skills still have to be learned. So there's no way around that, right? Like, so I think you just really have to audit where you're at and, and be honest with yourself and not just look at it like, oh, well, the man's trying to screw me. There's always two sides to the decision.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  It's so easy to jump to scapegoat.

• 16:00Andy Frisella?

  Dude, 99% of people do that. And then what happens is they flip from job to job, job, job, job, never understanding that they're the fucking problem as to why they're not moving anywhere. So, you know, that, that would be my, dude, I could almost guarantee you that's what's going on.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:17Andy Frisella?

  Just from my experience.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Yep. You're not, you're not shopping any of the extra tools.

• 16:21Andy Frisella?

  Right, exactly. And you're like, I've been here longer than anybody. Fuck it. They bring this douchebag in from out, fuck this guy. Yeah, he's not here with us. And then you start becoming a toxic employee, right?

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Real quick.

• 16:34Andy Frisella?

  And if you want, if you, if you really wanna show your value, and let's say right now you're having, uh, an awakening, um, and they do bring someone in, the best way to show your value is to make that guy's job easier, not harder, not sit around with the dude, smoking cigarettes, bashing this guy because he doesn't know what the fuck's going on. No, it, yeah, he doesn't know what he's going, what's going on yet, but he will, and he's gonna value the motherfucker that helps him figure it out. So there's your opportunity right there. But you know, this is a common thing, you know, everybody tends to think that it's the boss's fault, or it's the company's fault, or it's someone else's fault, when in reality, dude, every single problem that we have in our lives, whether they be personal or professional, come down to the same common denominator, which is us.

• 17:18Andy Frisella?

  And we have to be honest with ourselves if we ever wanna truly move past where we are now.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, dude. A hundred percent. I love it. I love it. Uh, guys, Andy, we got a video submission question. Let's check this out.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Hey Andy and DJ, my name is Josh. Um, I'm a home hospice nurse, um, by trade, but I also do real estate. I do some residential, I'm getting into commercial real estate, looking to build out a team. Um, I have an investor who is very well versed in the space, um, wanting to build this team as well. He wants me to be one of the team leads, meaning I can get obviously some, um, financial incentives through the team doing well, but then also just the financial incentives for commercial real estate are insane. I make about $80,000 a year as a nurse. Um, benefit of my job is I only have to work, I'm salaried, I probably work like 20 hours a week, so I can dump time into the other things.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  This year, I'm gonna about, I'm gonna make probably close to a hundred thousand or so in commissions, um, with the goal of next year, making close to 400,000, um, and then scaling up from there. Um, my question for you is, you know, how do you know when it's time to jump? Um, I feel like God's been calling me to jump for a while now. Um, and so that's my question is, you know, when is it smart to make that jump versus, uh, you know, I have a family, I have three kids, I have a wife, everything like that. Um, so just trying to, you know, balance the financial responsibilities of my life, um, with taking the risks that I know that I'm called to do. Thanks y'all.

• 18:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude, look, oh, this is actually one of the simplest things in the world to figure out, but it's one of the hardest things in the world to do. Okay? So you're making 80 and an extra 100, 150 with commission on your real estate. So you're making 200 something grand, right? 230, whatever. All right? You want to get to 400 and then you want to go beyond that. Okay? You have to understand one thing is that you can never be as good as someone putting in half or part-time energy as someone who's fully dedicated. You'll never win that way. You understand that because you you understand there's a requirement to make that jump.

• 19:42Andy Frisella?

  The way to make the jump is very simple. It's very simple. You go and you audit all of your expenses, your house, your car, all the things that you got to pay for your family and your kids, and you get really organized on your finances. You bring that back and you look at the data. You say, all right, this is what it takes for me to to live. Am I making enough in my new focus to pay those bills? And if the answer is yes, then the time is to jump. Okay? Which you are because you're only making 80 at your job and you're making 150 on top of that.

• 20:25Andy Frisella?

  And if you're be able to pay your bills with 80, then you're able to pay it with 150. Your fucking problem is you don't want to give up that 80.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 20:32Andy Frisella?

  Okay. And that's where most people get stuck. Okay? So most people get stuck because they they look at this situation and they say, okay, I want to get to here. I want to do this. I want to do that. I'm making this over here. And I got this and I'm doing well, but I don't want to give this first thing up because then I'm taking a hit. When in reality, you taking that hit is going to allow you to earn exponentially on the other side of that. And so while it's very simple, live below your means, make the jump when your new cash flow could cover that expense. People just don't want to give up that fucking that that that initial nut that they're making, bro.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  It's a safety net.

• 21:09Andy Frisella?

  And dude, and that's what gets people stuck. Okay? So this is actually a very simple equation. If you're truly, truly, truly dedicated to moving beyond, like you say, God's calling you to do this bigger thing, then you're going to have to make a jump at some point. And uh,

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Should get off the pot.

• 21:26Andy Frisella?

  Dude, and it sounds to me like you're in a position to do so right now. So that would be my recommendation for anybody that's looking to start something at, you know, that starts as a side gig to make their main gig. The minute that the side gig that you're trying to get into can pay the bills and you can survive, that's when you should jump in. Sometimes you have to shrink your lifestyle. Sometimes you have to get a work, a shittier car or you have to downsize your home. You have to, you know, cut your expenses. It doesn't sound like you're really even going to need to do that. So it sounds like you're in a much better position than most people.

• 22:02Andy Frisella?

  But people don't like doing that, dude. And because they don't want to take that little hit right now, because for whatever reason, right? They got an extra salary coming in or, you know, it's allowing them special luxuries that, you know, they don't want to give up, right? Maybe they're driving a nice car. Maybe they've got a nice, you know, Yukon or something and, you know, they're afraid that their friends are going to see him as like a loser. It's all kinds of emotional stupid shit that doesn't matter two or three or five, 10 years from now. So just take the fucking hit, move into the thing that you want, and then just focus on that and go with that. Because dude, if you stay in this in-between, this is all you're ever going to have.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  The ceiling's there.

• 22:44Andy Frisella?

  A hundred percent. And it's the fear that keeps people in that locked in that place.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. And can we can we dive a little bit deeper in, you know, because you were saying like, you know, if you're only given just a little bit over here and a little bit over here, you're not going to be able to win. Can you expand on that piece? Like, what do you, you talking about your energy level, your input? What we saying here?

• 23:02Andy Frisella?

  Well, dude, I mean, everybody's only, everybody only has a limited amount of focus and energy on a daily basis. And it doesn't matter how good or how skilled you are. If you have, let's say, um, you're splitting your time between, you know, two different things. And one thing's getting 60% and the other thing's getting 40%. And then you're competing against a guy who's all in and that guy's giving 100%. You can't reasonably believe that your 60% is going to beat that guy's 100%. It's not real.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Doesn't matter how talented.

• 23:33Andy Frisella?

  It doesn't matter how good you are, dude. You're not that much better than than the competition. You take the best pro sports player at their thing. If they only went 60% hard and everybody else going 100, they're going to, they're not going to be even playing on the team. No matter how gifted they are. Okay? So we've got to be honest about our own capabilities and what we can give in order to make that investment in our skill set, in our future and what it takes to win. And it doesn't take part effort. It just doesn't. And we see a lot of this shit on the internet about side hustles and this and that and this, great. Okay. But unless you eventually make that jump into the thing, you're just, you're just messing around. That's what it ends up coming down to, you know?

• 24:16Speaker 01

  I feel like I've heard you say before, like you hate that fucking phrase, like the side hustle culture stuff.

• 24:21Andy Frisella?

  Well, I do because you shouldn't be side hustling unless, like, anything that you take on as a side. Dude, you only have so much opportunity. There is a cost to every opportunity. Okay? It's called opportunity cost. And if you're going to fill your time with something on the side, that's something on the side should be something that eventually eclipses everything that you're doing otherwise. Otherwise, a waste of your time. Right? Like, if you're mowing grass on the side of your main business

• 24:50Andy Frisella?

  and the goal is just to mow some grass and get a couple of extra bucks, what what does that really do for you? Nothing. But if your goal is to create the the largest lawn care company in your state, because off of this, that's a totally different thing. Okay? And that's your energy in the side, quote unquote, hustles, needs to be something that could eventually grow into the main thing. And that's, that's what I'm talking about.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. With the exception of there be like, you know, unless it's like a hobby or something, like you just like doing some shit on the side, whatever. As long, I think what I'm asking is like, as long as the expectation is.

• 25:25Andy Frisella?

  I mean, it depends, dude. We're talking, our, our, our, our, our goal here is to make people the best that they can be and to earn as much motherfucking money as they can. Okay? Like, I'm not, yeah, there's asterisks and there's exception, there's nuance, right? Like, oh, I'm a woodworker and I like to make these little widgets and sell them. And it brings me um, some sort of fulfillment by doing so. That's not what I'm talking about. Yeah. I'm talking about building a fucking actual career. It makes you a lot of fucking money.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, dude. A hundred percent. I love it.

• 25:59Andy Frisella?

  Guys, we got one more. And by the way, it's okay to be a carpenter and do the little widgets and love to do it.

• 26:08Andy Frisella?

  And maybe you could turn that into a fucking amazing business. But if you're just doing it for the transaction, you're always going to be stuck in this, in this place of lack when it comes to finances.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Love it, man. Uh, our third and final question, guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, I used to be in great shape, uh, but after having kids and focusing on family life, my fitness has taken a backseat. Um, now that my youngest is starting school, I want to focus on getting back in shape for the new year, but I feel so far behind that I don't even know where to begin. What's the best way to ease back into a fitness routine?

• 26:46Andy Frisella?

  Uh, to not ease back into it. Okay? And just say, I'm going to fucking do it. I'm going to do it no matter what. I'm going to do it no matter how fucking hard it is and how tired I am and how much I don't want to do it. I'm going to do it regardless of all of that. And there's nothing that's going to get in my fucking way. And I'm going to do it. And so this whole idea of I'm going to ease in, that's bullshit. That's loser shit. You're going to fucking lose. You're not going to be able to fix it. Okay? So my recommendation would be to change your mindset about who the fuck you are. Okay? Are you a soft, pudgy, mediocre person? Or are you someone who takes their fitness serious, who wants to set a great example for their children, who wants to be the absolute best that they can be? What kind of person are you?

• 27:35Andy Frisella?

  And if you are that soft pudgy version right now, you can make a decision today that changes that identity. See, changing identity does not require long periods of time. It requires a definitive decision. I am no longer going to do this shit and I am going to do this shit. Bro, I was 350 fucking pounds at one time. Okay. I know what this is like. I know what it's like to lie to yourself. I know what it's like to tell yourself, oh, man, I'd really like to be in shape, but I don't have time to do this. Or my work's really hard. Or I've gone through all these things. Or I got this injury. Or, or, or, or, or, I know what it's like. I know what it's like. They're all lies. It's all bullshit. It's

• 28:18Andy Frisella?

  all self justification nonsense. And for you to get where you say you want to go, you're gonna have to kill that version of yourself. And that's gonna come down to you building yourself into someone who identifies as a winner in all areas of their life and getting the fuck after it. Okay. Because who you are right now, the, when you look in the mirror today, you have to understand that what you see is not a product of who you are right now. What you see is a product of who you have been in that past version of you and the decisions that they've made. And you can make a decision today to no longer

• 29:00Andy Frisella?

  be that person. All right. When you choose to no longer be that person and you start to back that up with actions, today you are no longer that fat version that made those weak choices that produced this result that you're unhappy with. You're a new version. And it's just gonna take a little bit of time for the material, the, the materialization of your, your body and your mind and all of these things to come together. Obviously, I'm gonna recommend that you do 75 hard. Okay. Because the problem for 99.99% of people is not that they don't know what to do. They know exactly what to do. We do not have a shortage of information. We have a shortage of the discipline and the ability to adhere.

• 29:45Andy Frisella?

  We have a, we have a population of people that know what the fuck they want, know what needs to be done to get that, but then can't fucking do it. And that's the problem that Live Hard and 75 Hard solves. And that's why it's a program that is a lifestyle program that you repeat over and over and over again every year. Because discipline and adherence are skills. They're skills. They're not traits. Which means if you don't practice them, you're going to get worse at them and you're not gonna be able to follow through on the things that you want to do. So when you fix this problem that exists in 99% of human beings, which is discipline, mental toughness, grit, fortitude, the ability to do things when

• 30:27Andy Frisella?

  they don't feel like doing things, and doing them at a high level, when you fix that, which is what that program does, which is why it's changed more lives than any other motherfucking program ever, you fix everything. Okay. You don't just fix your fitness, you fix your career, you fix your mind, you fix your body, you fix your family, you fix everything. Because you know what you want to be, you just haven't been able to follow through to do and produce what it is that you want to be. And that's what that program does. It fixes it for you forever. Okay. Not just once. It's a, it's a lifestyle program. You gotta do it every year. Okay. Uh, but when that blade of discipline and adherence and

• 31:10Andy Frisella?

  mental toughness gets dull, that's when you get right back into it. You see what I'm saying? So.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Do you think also the problem lies in like, you know, people have these negative habits that they don't, that doesn't contribute. And then like slowly they get to that 300, 350. And then they see that the mountain is so big. I can't really do anything. Tomorrow I might as well continue. Do you think one of the problems is that as well?

• 31:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. A hundred percent, dude. You get so far down the road that the mountain looks so big that you don't think you can climb it. But here's the problem. If you wait another year, it's gonna get bigger. And you wait another year, it's gonna get bigger. And what's it gonna be in five years? What's it gonna be in 10 years? Are you even gonna be alive? Okay. When I was 350 fucking pounds at 36 years old, I had to be honest with myself. I'm 36 years old, I'm 350 pounds. Where am I gonna be at 46? Am I, what am I gonna be? 450? Or am I gonna be 500?

• 32:06Speaker 01

  Cause we don't live long.

• 32:07Andy Frisella?

  No, that's what I'm saying. So I had to be honest with myself about what it was going, what was going to happen had I not fucking taken control of the things that I did. And because I did, everything in my life got better. Everything. My businesses skyrocketed. My confidence went through the roof. Okay. My standards went up, which affect everything in your life. So when you think about like, you know, oh, man, there's so much to do here. I'm not sure if I should, you know, it's gonna take forever. Well, if you wait, it's gonna take even longer than that.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 32:42Andy Frisella?

  And dude, the truth of the matter is, it doesn't take that long. It just doesn't. All right. What is six months of your life over the course of your life? It's a fucking blip. It's a blip. So you're gonna tell me that you're not willing to invest 75 days or even a full year of your life to become that version of yourself when you've got 60 years in front of you? If you don't have that, then you fucking ain't gonna make it, bro.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  No, that, the time's gonna go regardless.

• 33:12Andy Frisella?

  Dude, look, man.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying?

• 33:13Andy Frisella?

  It's, it's real simple. You either are or you fucking aren't. You either are or you aren't. You're either serious about it or you fucking aren't. And most people aren't. Most people just talk a lot of shit. They talk about how they want to be. They think about, and then eventually when they can't get to where they want to be and enough time goes by, it becomes someone else's fault.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  A few, uh, two years ago, I was, when I was diving deep into 75 hard, I just looked up like how big of a percentage is 75 days out of the average life expectancy of an American, which is about 75 years. It's point two seven percent. It's less than one percent of your life that can change the course of your life forever.

• 33:52Andy Frisella?

  That's right. That's right. Well, and dude, this is also why we spent two and a half years building the operator standard. Okay. The, the success of 75 hard has been incredible. Okay. It's been historic. But the reality is, is what if we could take that same concept and apply it to every single fucking area of someone's life to where they can even go into

• 34:18Andy Frisella?

  a system not knowing where they want to be. It can help them figure out where they want to be and then tell them day by day by day by day by day, exactly what they need to do until they get to that point. And then it scores them on how they do it. And then, by the way, you're surrounded by thousands and thousands and thousands of other people that are also on the same track. You're not getting bombarded with bullshit or ads or AI nonsense. It's positive atmosphere. So like dude, this is, and that's where the MFCO project is too. For those of you guys who, who, uh, you know, want the personal development deep, that's where we do it. But like dude, that's why I built the whole thing, man.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  What you said earlier is the core problem for everybody. They know how to do it, but they can't do it and they don't know why. And that's where the system comes in. Day by day by day.

• 35:03Andy Frisella?

  Most people believe that things like discipline and the ability to adhere are magical traits that people are born with.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  I used to think that too.

• 35:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Dude, I thought that too. I thought the same thing too. When I was younger, I definitely thought that. You guys have to understand that when you see someone who's disciplined, you see someone who's killing it, and you see someone who does what they're supposed to do, that is a skill that they practice day in and day out and day in and day out. And yes, maybe they never talk about it. Maybe they've been doing it so long, it's becomes who the fuck they are. Okay. But those people are not gifted with massive amounts of discipline or toughness or adherence that you think they are. Okay. They weren't born with that. And that's the biggest misconception. We all look at other people and we're like, God, I wish I had what that guy had. I wish I could, yeah, I wish I could stick to a

• 35:56Andy Frisella?

  program like that person could. I wish I could choose at the restaurant, what food is healthy for me instead of having to always order, uh, you know, the, the stuff that's bad for me because I can't say no to it. Like dude. Do you realize how much power you're giving away by not being able to control what the fuck you eat and drink and how you move? Like you're giving away all of it because those things, what you eat, what you drink, how you move, who you associate with, all of those things that are in our control dictate the majority of the outcome of our lives.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  The quality of your life.

• 36:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, so it's the majority. Like you can just control those and your life's gonna be pretty fucking good.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, that behavior transcends into every area of your life.

• 36:40Andy Frisella?

  Correct, correct. So it's, it's a matter of, you know, like dude, you say, oh, I want to ease into it, dude, fuck that.

• 36:49Speaker 01

  No such thing as ease.

• 36:50Andy Frisella?

  You, you, listen, I'm gonna tell you right now, whoever asks this question, ease into it, let me know how it goes next year. Call me back next year. How many years you been trying to ease into it?

• 36:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:58Andy Frisella?

  How many, you think it's the first time you ever tried to ease into it, motherfucker? Maybe you should like, figure out that easing into it ain't getting it done.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  The, the problem I think is that the men, the mindset change that he said, that I have to decide today that I'm not gonna tolerate this anymore. And then when people start taking steps, step one is like very excited, two to five, like what happens in 75 hard, they get into the grunt of doing the same things over and over, and they feel like this is not working and they quit and they go back to step one.

• 37:25Andy Frisella?

  Well, you know, that's why when you fail, you gotta go back to day one.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, start back over.

• 37:30Andy Frisella?

  If you fail and you do it right, and you get through 30 days and you go back to day one, then you get through 50 days and you go back to day one, and then you finish 75 hard, I promise you're gonna be in fucking shape.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 37:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Dude, I want to bring up this point because I think this is important too, right? I think, you know, when we're talking about reasons why people don't go, you know, it's Aziz's point, he brought up the, the mountain, right? They fucking look like, oh my goodness, this is a massive fucking mountain climb, right?

• 37:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  I think one of the other things too, that a lot of people, I know myself included, have also, you know, been through is that you can give, you give all these fucking excuses and justifications. And my situation, just so unique.

• 38:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's not.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? Like, like, and so it's like one of two camps, dude, and neither one is good.

• 38:12Andy Frisella?

  Those are the justifications and the lies that I'm talking about. You're not unique. Your problems are not unique.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  You're not the only person that ever had kids, bro.

• 38:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you're, you're not the only person that was ever overweight and out of shape, that was dissatisfied with their life, that had a job, and had kids, and had obligations. In fact, most of the motherfuckers that you look at, that you admire, have serious obligations, which is why they're serious about their fucking discipline, because they have so much to take care of. See, it's a different mentality. The loser mentality will look at things and say, well, I can't be disciplined because I got all this shit. The winner mentality will look at, I have to be disciplined because I got all this shit. And it's a different perspective. Okay, so you have to change that identity. Like dude, you need to quit thinking that

• 39:00Andy Frisella?

  you're this fat, powerless, lazy human being, and start thinking like, dude, this is not who the fuck I am. I'm this. And then start behaving accordingly.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  Like you've said so many times, like people who have way worse conditions than us often end up doing better because they don't take the excuses. And I have a personal example from Friday, really quick. I was having like a rough day and I went to the gym and I saw a guy, probably in his 60s, as his hand up next to a machine. And he was dressed like in a formal way, not very gym cloth attire sort of thing. So I went up to him and said, like, do you need help with anything? And he said, no, uh, somebody's coming to help me. I'm totally blind. I'm completely blind. I can't see. So I raised my hand and that guy over there will, will come to help me. And then I went away thinking that, oh my God. Like I'm thinking about my problems and that guy who can't even see.

• 39:49Andy Frisella?

  He's in here getting done.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  In here getting done. I'm like, stop being a bitch. And I just went away and did my workout.

• 39:56Andy Frisella?

  Dude, I would take that even a step further. I'll take that even a step further. Not only are there millions upon millions upon millions of people who have the exact same problems or worse than you, that have done exactly what you want to do and even more than you want to do, I will argue till the day I die, that the reason that they're able to accomplish those things is because they had to learn to fucking fight.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:24Andy Frisella?

  Okay? People who have it easy, this whole idea that people, uh, you know, have easy street, or they got lucky, or they got this, or they got that, that is a loser justification. Because the reality is, the people who build the greatest shit, they do so out of necessity because they had to learn how to fight through hardships their entire fucking lives. Okay? So you could sit there and you could say, well, oh, so and so had it easier than me, or this or that, or this. But dude, really, you're just being a bitch. Because the truth of the matter is, is that the people who learn how to fight, and they have the most hardships, usually end up with the greatest fucking stories.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 41:00Andy Frisella?

  And that's the reality. So it's not out of, you know, uh, oh, I'd like to, it because, it, it, it, it produces itself out of necessity.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  You don't have a fucking choice.

• 41:11Andy Frisella?

  That's right. You don't have a fucking choice.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  One of the questions that I guess ask all the time, like, after working with you for six years, like, what are the many, many things that I've learned from you? And I say so many things, but the top two things that I always try to inculcate in my behavior is, first, what you did yesterday does not matter. And number two, like the urgency of work today. Like you have said so many times, like you have developed this habit, like if I don't do this, I'm gonna go dig ditches.

• 41:38Andy Frisella?

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Which is practically not a reality, but you have inculcated that habit to create that urgency. And most of the people, when they start getting some success, they start getting so comfortable that their effort goes down.

• 41:51Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, they don't think they can ever go back to the old way.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  It's, it's not important. I'm good. I'm cush. And that's why it goes hand in hand.

• 41:58Andy Frisella?

  And also dude, that's also why, when people, um, one of the things I can't stand is like moral victories. Okay? Here's what I don't, I can't stand moral victory people. Okay? Yeah, we, we, we lost. Yeah, I, I cheated. Yeah, I fucked up my program. Yeah, I did this, I did that, I did this, but, but I did this one thing, okay? And then that's how they like take the win. Dude, if you justify losing with moral victories, moral victories is all you're ever gonna fucking have. And that's the thing that people miss.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  Moral victories don't go on the scoreboard.

• 42:34Andy Frisella?

  No, they fucking don't.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Who paid the bills either?

• 42:37Andy Frisella?

  And dude, I'm not saying you can't learn from your mistakes. I'm not saying that you can't look at things and say, okay, we did this, did this, did this. Those are bad, we need to fix those. We did that one thing, it was good. But we're not celebrating that one thing like we won.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 42:50Andy Frisella?

  You know?

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Loss is a fucking loss, dog.

• 42:52Andy Frisella?

  That's right. And everybody likes to pick that one thing. And they like to say, well, I did this better than I did yesterday. And that comes from this idea of easing into shit, right? That comes from this idea of starting at a reasonable pace, or a reasonable goal, or a small this, or small habits, or this or that. Bro, very few people can escape their old identity by making miniscule decisions towards a new one. Very few, very few. Okay? The ones that actually change are the ones that get so fucking sick of who they are. They're like, fuck that motherfucker. I ain't that person no more. Fuck him. Fuck fat Andy. I'm not eating that shit. I'm not drinking that shit. I'm never going back to that. And then

• 43:34Andy Frisella?

  they move forward and focus there. And like, that's, that's the people that win, dude. And this whole idea of like, you know, easing into shit, it just keeps people trapped inside their old identity. Because like dude, when you're only making one or two little changes, but you have a lifetime of making those decisions, you never break out of the comfort of making those comfortable decisions. So.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. And the mountain metaphor here, it's right.

• 43:59Andy Frisella?

  I will argue this, and dude, this is the biggest gripe that people have on 75 hard, right? You got all these people who are like, oh, well, it's too extreme.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Not sustainable.

• 44:10Andy Frisella?

  Dude, it's, what do you mean it's not sustainable? It's getting bigger and bigger every single year.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  People have done it.

• 44:15Andy Frisella?

  I know. And they keep doing it. And the reason they keep doing it is because they realize what I said. It's a perishable skill. Just like shooting a pistol, just like playing a musical instrument, just like fucking anything.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Anything.

• 44:26Andy Frisella?

  If you don't practice it, you won't have it. And so like dude, when we think about like, you know, this whole idea of like, setting realistic goals, it's just not powerful enough for people to escape that, the decade of, of poor decisions behind that. You've got to throw them in the motherfucking pool.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  That's why, like on the mountain example, it's like, okay.

• 44:48Andy Frisella?

  And then people will say, well, most people fail. Most people fail anyway.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 44:53Andy Frisella?

  Tell me how many of these people that you said made gradual decisions end up winning?

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, I think about it in the mountain metaphor. It's like, okay, you're gonna just take one step today and that's a win? No. Take as many fucking steps as you can today.

• 45:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  As many as you can.

• 45:09Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  And then you can go to sleep, go wake up and do it again.

• 45:11Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  You know, I fucking love it, man. Dude, I think people got better today. There's no doubt about that, dog.

• 45:16Andy Frisella?

  Well, they either did or they didn't. That's the thing. You can't save everybody, bro. It's, it's a personal decision. And I could give the roadmap, I could say what to do, I could tell you the way it is. And you could go on and believe all these other people who really haven't done a goddamn thing. Okay? But I'm telling you as someone who grew up a lot like most of you, this is how I've done it. And this is how, what I figured out. And it seems to work because we have tens of millions of people doing a goddamn program. You know what I mean? And it, and I didn't advertise it for one fucking day.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:45Andy Frisella?

  So, the point is, stop thinking you have to ease into everything. That's weakness, dude. You either are or you aren't. You either are that fat, lazy version of yourself, or you're fucking done with that motherfucker and you're moving forward. Which one is it?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, that was three.

• 46:03Andy Frisella?

  All right. Well, we will see you tomorrow for CTI. Don't forget, dude, if you want the personal development, uh, you know.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  You want more of this?

• 46:12Andy Frisella?

  If you want all the, the in-depth personal development, how to win, how to kick ass, how to build businesses, how to make money, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, dude, you gotta go get the MFCEO project and get it at the operatorstandard.com. All right? Don't be a hoe.

• 46:24Speaker 01

  Share the show.