Pod Insights The Quote of the Day Show | Daily Motivational Talks Wayne Dyer: “The People Who Get The Most Approval in Life are The Ones Who Care The Least About It.” About this episode Wayne Dyer shares a powerful lesson on self-worth, approval, and living in alignment with your true nature. In this inspiring talk, he explains why success begins within, why chasing approval holds people back, and how courageously following your own path leads to unexpected breakthroughs. This episode will challenge you to live by inner truth instead of external validation. Want Ad-Free Episodes? Join QOD Club and hear zero ads inside our Circle community. Plus, book clubs, mentorship calls, weekly business trainings, and new likeminded friends. Get started for only $9. Source: Wayne Dyer - How to Be a No-Limit PersonHosted by Sean CroxtonFollow me on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Understand this, the people who get the most approval in life are the ones who care the least about it. And the ones who get the least approval are the ones who are always going after it. So if you want approval in this paradoxical way that I'm talking about it, stop needing it.
0:34 Speaker 01 Welcome back to the Quote of the Day Show. I am your host, Shawn Croxton, of seancroxton.com. Thank you so much for tuning in. We've got Dr. Wayne W. Dyer back on the show today. Our QOD is this, the people who get the most approval in life are the ones who care the least about it. It's kind of funny how that works, huh? You know, I'm pretty sure he says something in this clip, because it's in my notes here, that I disagree with. I usually agree with pretty much everything Dr. Dyer says. I think he says that we shouldn't care what people think. I don't think that's human. Like, I've been guilty of saying that in the past, like, I don't care what people think. You have to not care what people think. I don't think that's real.
1:16 Speaker 01 I think our brains are so wired for connection, like, social connection, that if you don't really care what people think, I think that's like a psychological disorder, to be honest. I don't think that that's natural, by any means. I think the difference between people is that, I think we all feel the sting of criticism. But some of us attach ourselves to it, will ruminate on it for days, and others, like, will feel the sting and will be able to let it go. And also, just as it's problematic to attach ourselves to criticism, it's also problematic to attach ourselves to praise. Dr. Dyer's going to talk about that. He's coming up.
2:01 Speaker 00 The funny part about approval, for those of you who really want it, and really... Now, I'm here to tell you that I like approval. I enjoy it. I find it one of the most exciting things in the world. I like it when people read my books. I love it when people applaud. I like it when people tell me nice things and all. I like approval. I'm the first one to admit it. What I don't do is I don't need approval. There's a big difference between wanting approval and needing approval. When you need approval, it means you become immobilized when you don't get it, from making other people's opinions more important. Now, for those of you who say, "Yeah, but I want approval and I need it, and if I don't get it," and so on, understand this: The people who get the most approval in life
2:46 Speaker 00 are the ones who care the least about it. And the ones who get the least approval are the ones who are always going after it. So if you want approval in this paradoxical way that I'm talking about it, stop needing it. You stop concerning yourself about it. Ask yourself, "Who gets the most approval in life?" Think of the person that gets the most approval, and you'll see that that person couldn't care less what other people are thinking.
3:13 Speaker 00 They're so busy being, they don't have time to notice what their neighbors are doing. Thoreau said this. He said, "If you advance confidently in the direction of your own dreams and endeavor to live the life which you have imagined, you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." What that means is that success is not something that you can get in life. Success is an inner process. Success is something that you bring to everything you do in your life. It isn't something you get out of what you do. And when you get that, and you learn how to get the junk out
3:59 Speaker 00 and advance confidently, doing what makes the most amount of sense to you based on your inner signals and the one issue of morality, which is you never interfere with anybody else's right to do the same. Each person has their own right to advance confidently in the direction of their own dreams. And when you violate that, you're violating the principle of the universe, the essence of the universe, which is cooperation and harmony.
4:24 Speaker 00 Then success will begin to chase you. And it will come into your life and arrive in your life in amounts that you never dreamt of before. That you never dreamt of. Things will start happening to you that you would never imagine before. I'm working on a book right now that's gonna be called You'll See It When You Believe It. And when you start believing in some of these principles, you'll start seeing things that you were blind to for so long. When you were back here in the two and the three and the four and the five. When you were moving away from yourself. As long as you're moving back towards your universal essence, your harmony with yourself, your cooperation with the rest. Things will start happening in ways that you never dreamt of.
5:09 Speaker 00 Jung called it synchronicity. And it's a term that we use to explain how unexplainable coincidences sort of happen in our life. And how come these things happen? I'm gonna share a couple of those with you before we leave. The quality versus appearance in your life means that you get that inner candle flame working in a way that gives you quality. Independent of what other people think of you. Maslow, in defining self-actualizing no-limit people, said they are independent of the good opinion of other people. Of the good opinion of other people. Independent of it.
5:50 Speaker 00 They're so busy advancing confidently, doing the things that make sense, and bringing success to changing their baby's diaper. And bringing success to weeding their garden. And bringing it to the job. They bring it on the airplane. So that when they run into somebody who is rude to them, a stewardess that is rude, they don't see it as an attack on them. It's just where they are, and they send them love. Help them a little bit, you know? They're kind. When somebody wants to get in on the freeway, and they're... One old temptation when they were on the one to the six side was to say, "Oh yeah, nobody's getting in front of me. I'm getting there first." It's like, they slow down a little bit.
6:32 Speaker 00 They don't have all that type A stuff of having to beat somebody else and having to defeat somebody. It is... It's a new way of being. It's a way of quality. Where your harmony allows you to cooperate. And you are a part of what this whole thing is about.
6:49 Speaker 00 New way of being, quality rather than appearances. Another new way of being. Very important. Living your life on ethics rather than rules. Ethics rather than rules. All these rules, all these ways of having to do things. Somebody else dictates to them. Do you know that some of the most immoral acts in the world have been perpetrated in the name of the rules? These are the laws. What do you think Nazi Germany was all about? Everybody doing all these horrible things to other people. "I'm only doing my job," was the defense we all heard at Nuremberg. "I was just doing my job." If it's an immoral rule, it's immoral to obey it. And self-actualizing people, as Maslow tells us,
7:32 Speaker 00 have rules inside of them that they could never obey, never disobey, ever. And they have to do with ethics, how you treat people. How do you think we get to where we are now? You know who Rosa Parks was? The woman in the South, the black woman in the South who said, "Not today. I'm not going to the back today." No way. I know what the rules are. The rules were all over the place. If you needed a reminder, there were signs every place. Colored in the back, white in the front. And she said, "No, I'm sitting here." And that made all the difference. Ethics, not rules. When your children start disobeying rules that need to be disobeyed, don't be surprised.
8:15 Speaker 00 When I was in the service, they had a policy on Guam, where I was stationed, which would not allow the Guamanian civilians to shop in the PXs in the Navy exchanges. But they did allow all other civilians to shop in the Navy exchanges and PXs. But if you were Guamanian, that is if your skin was dark and your eyes were shaped a little different, then you couldn't. A clear outright violation. I was a serviceman. I was in the Navy. I was a communications cryptographer. They had a newspaper on the Guam Daily News and it said, "An invitation to speak your mind."
8:56 Speaker 00 There was a letter-writing contest.
9:00 Speaker 00 And they offered seventy-five dollars to the first prize winner. Seventy-five dollars, this was 1961.
9:07 Speaker 00 That was a fortune to me. That was a month's pay in the Navy at that time, almost. So I entered the contest and I knew I would win it. I had already written a novel at that time. A whole novel I had written while I was on Guam. I knew it wasn't gonna be a contest. I felt sorry for the other people entering it. I knew I was gonna win this. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that when you're in the service, and you have an opinion, and you don't submit it to the chain of command, that you can be court-martialed for that.
9:38 Speaker 00 So the headlines on next week's Guam Daily News were, "U.S. Sailor Assails Policy of Discrimination." Big, hot stuff, alright? And I was called before a vice admiral, Commander, Naval Forces, Marianas Islands, and threatened with a court martial, because I had disobeyed the rules, even though the rule was immoral. There are lots of them like that. And when I went in and they threatened me with a court martial, I told them, this was my battle plan. They didn't have Xerox machines in those days, so I had to get a lot of carbon paper. I wrote a letter to President John F. Kennedy, and I wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Navy,
10:22 Speaker 00 and I wrote a letter, my hometown was Detroit, I wrote a letter to Detroit News and a letter to the Detroit Free Press, telling them what was happening to me as a result of just expressing my opinion about an immoral act that was going on over here on Guam. And I showed the naval, uh, vice admiral, my letters, right there. I said, "I've only sent the one to the President and the Secretary of the Navy."
10:47 Speaker 00 These letters go to the newspapers across the country. There was one there to the New York Times as well, and the Los Angeles Times. It was, uh, and I just spread them out before them. I said, "If you court martial me or punish me in any way for this, then what's gonna happen is the world is gonna find out about this policy. And I'm prepared, I'm ready. I can handle it." And I was twenty years old at the time, or twenty-one.
11:11 Speaker 00 Not only did I get a blessing from that, because all things come in blessings for you, I got out ninety days early.
11:22 Speaker 00 And they stamped on my record PI, because the president took it up and sent it to the secretary. Must have. And I never heard from him, but I... PI on your record means political influence. And they don't like anybody with political influence in the military. And as soon as they saw that, they said, "This is somebody we probably will be giving a discharge real soon." There was no court martial. And in September of 1962, a brand-new policy was initiated on Guam, which allowed any civilian to shop in the Navy exchanges. And it came about as a result of someone saying, "These rules are immoral, and therefore, it's immoral to obey them."
12:06 Speaker 00 New ways of being. Ethics, rather than rules.
12:13 Speaker 01 That was Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. His website is DrWayneDyer.com. You can watch today's talk on YouTube. It's called Wayne Dyer: How to Be a No Limit Person. We're gonna wrap things up tomorrow with John Cleese. Enjoy your day. I'm out. Peace.
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