Pod Insights The Quote of the Day Show | Daily Motivational Talks Sally Hogshead: “The Greatest Way That You Can Add Value Is to Become More of Yourself.” About this episode Sally Hogshead shares a powerful lesson on identity, branding, and why trying to be better might be the exact thing holding you back. In this stirring talk, she explains why high performers focus on different instead of better, what a humiliating dance recital at age ten taught her about playing small, and the question every entrepreneur, leader, and parent needs to ask before chasing one more improvement. This episode will challenge you to stop fixing what isn’t broken and start leaning into what already makes you, you. Source: Sally Hogshead - Why different is better than betterHosted by Sean CroxtonFollow me on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 The problem is that when we hear enough times that we have to be better, that we have to fix ourselves, that we're not measuring up, that there's some kind of arbitrary scorecard that tells us that in order to move forward in life, we have to increment, claw our way along a treadmill, comparing ourselves to other people. And that is just soul crushing. The greatest way that you can add value is to become more of yourself.
0:45 Speaker 01 Welcome back to the Quote of the Day Show. I am your host, Shawn Croxton of seancroxton.com. We've got Sally Hogshead on the show today. She's going to talk about how you can stand out in a crowded space. And it is getting more and more challenging every single day to stand out because everybody's got an Instagram, everybody's got a TikTok, everybody's got a podcast, everybody's got a YouTube channel, everybody's got everything, right? Everybody's putting themselves out there and it can be very easy to blend in. And that's going to make you frustrated because when you blend in, you're not standing out, you're not getting followers, you're not getting fans, you're not getting customers, you're not getting money.
1:30 Speaker 01 And so your business eventually goes out of business because you don't know how to get people's attention by being different. It reminds me of what Rory Vaden writes about in his book, Wealthy and Well-Known, another book you've got to read, Wealthy and Well-Known, in addition to Sally's book, Fascinate, another great book. But Rory says he asked Larry Winget, who's been on the show many times, like the secret to success in business. And Larry said to him, "You have to find your uniqueness and exploit it in the service of others." Like, that is the key. What is unique about you? And how can you use that in the service of others? While I'm thinking about it, another book recommendation for you is, it's called Different.
2:16 Speaker 01 Subtitle, I think, is How to Escape the Competitive Herd. It's by Young Me Moon, Y U N G M E Moon, like the moon. That is a really good book. Got to read that one. But I remember, you know, the first iteration of my online life, 2007 to 2015, was underground wellness. And I would go on YouTube and I would make these videos, like taking very complex matters of health and wellness and simplifying them for people. And that business was very successful. It's kind of crazy, to be honest. It was really successful. And it wasn't because I was the best coach. It wasn't because I was the most knowledgeable expert.
2:59 Speaker 01 It wasn't because, you know, I was better than everybody else when it came to my coaching skills. No, the key was I was different. It was how I grabbed people's attention at the beginning of a video. It was how I dressed. It was how I spoke. It was how I explained things. I took those qualities and traits of myself and I turned them up and I showed them to people and people loved it and they tuned in. So you have to remember, like, if you're just trying to get better and better and better at your craft, that's great. But don't expect people to find you just because you're getting better. Don't expect to stand out just because you're getting better. You have to find out what your difference is,
3:40 Speaker 01 what your uniqueness is, and again, exploit it in the service of others. Sally Hogshead is coming up.
3:49 Speaker 00 Imagine this. Imagine if we could build a culture within our businesses, within the bigger conversation. You don't have to change anything about who you are. You just have to identify what you're already doing right and do more of it.
4:07 Speaker 00 You are perfect for some things and not for others. And you do not have to be perfect for everything. There's a natural way that your personality is primed to over-deliver. You don't have to invent it, it's already there. All you have to do is identify it, tap into it, apply it, and then find as many opportunities as possible for you to start building your business, building your career, and your relationships around that. And I call that your fascination advantage. And here's what I want you to get. When you begin to think about how you're most likely to approach a client, a lot of times what we do is we dumb ourselves down. We water down our greatest attributes.
4:51 Speaker 00 And instead, I want you to be thinking about, how am I most likely to over-deliver in this situation so I can do it again? Now, I'm gonna give an example of why this is so difficult, why it's so difficult for us to do this. I grew up in an unusual family. My sister won three gold medals. My brother graduated from Harvard. I'm the baby of the family. And my last name's Hoggett. So as you can imagine, it was... It was, as I was growing up, I wanted to find how I could contribute. How could I break through and make a difference? And so I tried being ambitious, and that wasn't it. I tried being academic and analytical, and that wasn't it. Until finally, I took a step back. And when I was 10 years old, I decided that I was gonna do dance.
5:34 Speaker 00 Now, the reality is, I really wasn't very good. And my teacher said to me, "You know, Sally, you're really not very good, but you do have a certain spark." And I thought, "A spark? I can work with that." So it was the day of the recital, and I was wearing one of those awesome costumes with sequins that were super itchy, highly flammable polyester. The straps that were like cutting into my shoulders. And it was the most fabulous thing that I'd ever seen. And so I had been practicing the dance steps. And it was more technical than I would normally like to do. I really like to do jazz hands. Do jazz hands with me. See, jazz hands are just fun. You can't not love jazz hands. Unfortunately, this dance was not jazz hands. So it was a solo in the dance recital.
6:17 Speaker 00 My teacher leaned down to me. And just as the music went on, and I saw the spotlight, and I said, "That's the light." My teacher said to me, "Just don't forget the steps."
6:32 Speaker 00 So I went out and I got in the spotlight.
6:40 Speaker 00 And I totally forgot the steps. And, I mean, it's funny now, it was really not funny at the time. It was, it was my first experience of humiliation bordering on shame. And I want you to think to yourself, what are the times in your life when you put yourself out there, when you wanted to be fascinating and you wanted to make a difference in some way? And you got shut down, you didn't make the team, you got broken up with, you got fired. What are the times in your life when you took those most fascinating qualities about you and you packed them away, you put them in a box, you put them on the shelf, you closed the door and you walked away? I am not kidding when I tell you, I never took another dance lesson ever again, ever.
7:25 Speaker 00 What did you kill off within yourself? What are the differences that define who you are? You don't have to learn how to be fascinating. You unlearn boring. You don't learn how to be fascinating, you unlearn boring. And the problem is, I see this happening with my kids, the problem is that when we hear enough times that we have to be better, that we have to fix ourselves, that we're not, we're not measuring up, that there's some kind of arbitrary scorecard that tells us that in order to move forward in life, we have to increment, claw our way along a treadmill comparing ourselves to other people. And that is just soul crushing.
8:10 Speaker 00 In a culture that's focused on better, there isn't room for difference. But imagine if instead, everybody on your team, everybody in your family had a different way of communicating at their best, so they could be fully authentically invested in this. The greatest way that you can add value is to become more of yourself. And this isn't just feel-good. When I measured those high performers from my study of a million professionals, what the high performers were doing differently is they weren't focused on being better. They were focusing on being different. They were focusing on the exact attributes that they could bring to the party,
8:54 Speaker 00 and then they were honing in and focusing on that, and they were as different as possible. And they didn't even necessarily know that they were doing it. So think to yourself, what are those qualities that define who you are at your best, how you are most likely to impress people, to hold their attention? Because here's the deal. Having the best idea doesn't matter if nobody notices or cares. I'm an author. Writing the best book doesn't matter if nobody reads it. It's not enough to be the best attorney if you don't have any clients. It's not enough to develop the best product if nobody buys it. Being the best is not enough if nobody notices or cares.
9:39 Speaker 00 Being the best is not enough. It's not enough that you can't just be better. Being the best is not enough as the world becomes more distracted, more commoditized, more crowded. What is enough is being different. Focusing on the exact attributes. Not different for the sake of different. Different in a way that strategically defines and sets apart who you are. Now, it's not easy for you to know the qualities that make you different because in order for you to see how other people see you at your best, we have to look through the lens of branding. It's almost impossible to look in a mirror and have an objective perspective on yourself. So I'd like to give you some resources that you can find out what makes you different. Now, think about this.
10:23 Speaker 00 A traditional way that we evaluate ourselves is, "In what ways am I better and in what ways am I worse?" And I want you to begin thinking about this internal conversation that you already have going. "Oh, I'm better at driving, but I'm not fascinating." That's a perfect example. "Oh, I wanted to be a better ballet dancer, but I couldn't be different, so therefore I quit." What are the situations in your life in which you were faced with the possibility that you were not enough?
10:55 Speaker 00 And that you were being evaluated according to somebody else's criteria of how you should or shouldn't succeed. Well, here's an idea. What if success is not absolute? What if we each have our own ways of over-delivering, making a difference, making a change? And so the problem, when we begin to focus on how we can be better, is that we kill off the possibilities of how we are already different. Better lives in the eyes of somebody else. It's a judgment that's projected on you. Different is available for everybody. So as you go back, as you begin to think of your teens and your family and your significant other, here's what I want you to think about.
11:37 Speaker 00 Find those qualities that differentiate you. Better is not differentiating, it's a commodity. Different is differentiating, but you have to know what makes you different. And then, once you identify that, especially with adjectives, begin to think about your career. What are the ways in which you are able to deliver this? And what are the areas that feel like quicksand, stripping you of the joy and engagement that you could be giving to other people? When you think about yourself, think about this.
12:11 Speaker 00 You don't have to change who you are.
12:17 Speaker 00 You have to become more of who you are with intention.
12:25 Speaker 00 You don't have to fix anything. You just have to do more of what you're already doing right. The greatest value that you can add is to become more of yourself. And if there's one thing I would want to tell that 10-year-old version of me who cried on stage because I forgot the steps to the dance, I would want to tell her this. You don't have to find the light. You are the light. You are the light. And when you let your differences shine, you can light up the world.
13:02 Speaker 01 That was Sally Hogshead. Her website is sallyhogshead.com. You can watch today's entire talk on YouTube. It's called Sally Hogshead: Why Different Is Better Than Better. All right, that's it from me. See you tomorrow with Jim Cathcart. I'm out. Peace.
Previous Les Brown: “It’s Possible.” Next Jim Cathcart: “Spend One Extra Hour Each Day Studying Your Chosen Field, and You’ll Be a National Expert in Five Years or Less.” Page updated November 9, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated
