Lou Holtz: "People May Forget Your Birth and Death. They'll Never Forget Your Dash."

Lou Holtz shares a powerful lesson on leadership, character, and what every person you meet is silently asking. In this inspiring talk, he reveals the three questions that determine every relationship, why the higher you climb the more you have to give without expecting anything back, and what a 21-year-old lineman's poem taught him about the only number on a tombstone that actually matters. This episode will challenge you to lead with care and live a life worth remembering. Source: Lou Holtz SpeechHosted by Sean CroxtonFollow me on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  You're never gonna meet anybody again the rest of your life. It doesn't need a kind word, a smile, and encouragement. Everybody's got problems, ladies and gentlemen. You're not the only one. But when we reach out and help other people, it will show people you genuinely care.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the Quote of the Day Show. I am your host, Shawn Croxton, at seancroxton.com. Thank you so much for tuning in, and a happy Monday to you, my friend. We've got Lou Holtz, Coach Lou Holtz, back on the show today. And our featured quote is this, our Q O D is this. People may forget your birth and death. They'll never forget your dash. In other words, they'll never forget the way you lived. They'll never forget the way you treated them, the way that you made them feel. They'll never forget if they felt like you cared about them. And that's what this talk is all about. He's gonna give you three questions every person you meet for the rest of your life is silently asking. And one of them is, do you care about me?

• 1:14Speaker 01

  He's also gonna reveal what you can do to help others improve their self-confidence, and he's gonna share a wonderful poem about birth, death, and of course, your dash. Coach Lou Holtz is coming up.

• 1:28Speaker 00

  The last question everybody asks, do you care about me? Every dealer, every employee, every spouse, every child, everybody you meet to rest of your life wants to know, do you care? Now, if we know that everybody wants to know that we care, with your intelligence and your ability, you could come up with 100 different ways to show people you care. My wife came back from surgery and radiation. We got a billboard. We put yellow ribbons around the tree. You leave a little note for them in the morning. I carry lifesavers, little packages of four at practice. When somebody does something real good, I'll give them a lifesaver and say, boy, you just saved us there. I will take and put a payday candy bar in their locker.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  And say, my dad told me when I was young, if you worked hard and did a great job, you'd have a payday. I'm sorry, the NCAA doesn't allow me to make us a better payday. But I just want you to know, we appreciate it. See, ladies and gentlemen, how can you show people you care? How can you show your customers you care? How can you show your employees? You come up with a million different ways, but it's imperative that we always go about showing people. Now, the problem is, then nobody's gonna come up and show you how much I appreciate. Nobody's gonna come up very often and say, "I want you to know my child graduated from college because of you. Thank you for what you've done."

• 2:53Speaker 00

  See, when you reach your level of success, people don't think you have any problems. "Oh, you got it made." They aren't going to. That's why the higher up you go, the more important it is to reach out and show people, even though they aren't gonna do it to you in return. I had a job once, I say a job, I had the honor of working with International Special Olympics. I had lane three, whoever finished that race first, last, or in between, my only job was to run up and hug them. They'd say, "Boy, that's great, I'm proud of you." That's all they wanted. You know what, ladies and gentlemen, it'd be great if you had a hugger, but you don't. Not when you reach your level of success. But it's important for you to be a hugger for everybody.

• 3:36Speaker 00

  We have very successful people in this room. There's not one person in this room, myself included, there's not one person you're ever gonna meet to the rest of your life that isn't carrying a burden, doesn't have a problem. You're never gonna meet anybody again to the rest of your life that doesn't need a kind word, a smile, and encouragement. Everybody's got problems, ladies and gentlemen, you're not the only one. But when we reach out and help other people, it will show people that you genuinely care. Now, there ain't any such thing as magic. That was one of the things I did. I'd like to do a simple little trick for you. One of the things I wanna do with magic, it's like any other newspaper. Minnesota's always in dark blue, I coached there. Everybody I ever met from Minnesota had dark hair and blue ears,

• 4:20Speaker 00

  but it never amazed me, always in dark blue. But this is like any other newspaper. You have front page where people wanna read the news. You have the comic where people can't read. You have the editorial page where people can't think. But I'd like you to do this. And I joke about Minnesota, what a wonderful place that was, and I really enjoyed my stay there. But I want you to take two people. Take somebody you love, admire, and respect, can be anybody in this world. And then take somebody you got a problem with. Anybody in this world, take those two people and put these three questions on both people. Can you trust them, yes or no? Both people. Are they committed to excellence, yes or no?

• 5:06Speaker 00

  Do they care about you and the organization, yes or no? Person you admire and respect, you just said yes to all three questions. Person you've got a problem with, you've pinpointed the problem. Either you can't trust them, they aren't committed, or they don't care. See? As I say, it's like anything else. Now...

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Does, uh...

• 5:33Speaker 00

  Somebody...

• 5:36Speaker 00

  Somebody said, "How'd you do that perfectly?" I thought, but in any event, that's not important. Seriously, I'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming because I can't figure it out either. It's amazing. Bye.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Ladies and gentlemen, does everybody come that you can trust or committed care? No. But it's our obligations as leaders to emphasize those people, to follow those three rules. Because when you do that, people can trust you, committed, care, and emphasize how important those three assets are. When they follow, I don't attack them. I come in and say, "Jim, I'm often wrong. I don't want to go through life being wrong, but I don't believe you're being the best student you can be, and here's the reasons why. You missed study all three times, you missed tutor twice, you got a B+ in Spanish last year, you're getting an F this year. I want to know why you're not doing the best you can." That's all I ask from you, be the best, and I want to know why. Never had anybody say, "Nope, that's the best I can do." I'll tell you what you always get. "Coach, I wanted to come talk to you, I feel bad about it. I've got this problem, I've got that problem."

• 6:31Speaker 00

  I'd say, "You know, I don't want to have this conversation again." But that's how you build somebody's self-confidence, somebody's self-image. The self-image and the self-confidence comes when you do those three things, and when you violate those three rules, is when your self-confidence goes down, in my humble opinion. You've been a delightful group. I had an hour to speak. I've already spoken an hour and two minutes, but that's your fault because you've been kind. And I wasn't preaching to you, I was talking to myself. Every time I talk about the trust, the commitment, the care, about dreams, I'm thinking about things that we have to do to be successful. I really appreciate the opportunity to be here, but to just summarize, attitude's a choice, and the attitude you choose is by far the most critical to any organization. The second

• 7:16Speaker 00

  thing, you're gonna have to make sacrifice. Take pride in the fact you're willing to do it, because most people aren't. Success is obtained by uncommon people. It's obtained by uncommon people who are willing to do the things that an average person won't do, because an average person's basically lazy. Then, of course, have a passion to win. That just means get rid of the excuses why you can't. Focus on what you do have and not on what you don't have. And, of course, understand your sense of purpose. What are you trying to do? You're trying to help the customers. These is the needs change, you must change to meet the needs of the customers. And the fifth thing is the dream. The sixth thing is to create an environment where people believe in each other, where we can lift

• 7:59Speaker 00

  each other up and not pull each other down. I leave you with this poem written by a young defensive lineman, Alton Maiden. We went over to Dublin, Ireland to play, and I took him to a cemetery built in the 12th century. I thought we'd see something. All we saw was dilapidated walls and a huge cemetery. And Alton Maiden sat down at the cemetery, I didn't realize it then, but he wrote a poem titled "The Dash," or at least his cemetery inspired him to. He looked, you know, born in 1582, etc. He wrote this poem titled "The Dash" that said, "I've seen death stare at me with my own eyes and wait, man, it cannot know. I've seen death take a lot of other people who left me here below. I've heard many mother cries, but death refused to hear. And in my life, I've seen a lot of faces filled with many, many tears."

• 8:45Speaker 00

  After death has come and gone, a tombstone sits for many to see. It's no more than a symbol of a person's memory. Under the person's name, it read the date of birth dash and the date the person passed. The more I think about the tombstone, the only important thing is the dash. Yes, I see the name of the person, but that I might forget. I read the date of birth and death, but even that might not stay. But thinking about the person, I can't help but to think about the dash. Because that represents a person's life and that always lasts. So when you begin to charter your life, make sure you're on a positive path. Because people may forget your birth and death. They'll never forget your dash. Thought that was pretty good advice by a 21-year-old lineman. And I leave you with this thought. I ask you to do two things.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  I challenge you to do two things. I challenge you in this beautiful environment, in this beautiful city, in this lovely hotel. I challenge you to sit back and reflect on your accomplishments. You ought to be proud of what you've done. I mean that sincerely. And I wish you could have heard Mr. Peterson and other people talking about you when I ask about the group. You are special. You're in the top 1/10th or 1% of what you've done. But I also challenge you to sit back, reflect, and take it to another level. I challenge you to change your life for the better in any area you seek and to take it to another level. So that other people say, "I want to be just like you."

• 10:12Speaker 00

  And I also challenge you to share with each other. The growing thing I love to do is talk to other coaches to find out how they do things. Because I never learn anything by talking. The good Lord gave you two ears and one mouth, because you should listen twice as much you speak. And I'm going to adhere to that policy and finish by saying, "I thank you and God bless you."

• 10:34Speaker 01

  That was Coach Lou Holtz leading off the week. You can watch today's entire talk on YouTube. It's called Lou Holtz Speech. All right, my friend, that is it for me. Tomorrow, we've got Robert Kiyosaki on the show talking about failing, failing fast. Morgan DeBon on Wednesday, Reverend Ike on Thursday, and then Friday. We're going to wrap up the week with our main man, Dave Ramsey. See you tomorrow. I'm out. Peace. [music]