The Algebra of Happiness

For our final episode of the year, we hear Scott read an excerpt from his National Bestseller, “The Algebra of Happiness.” He shares stories of his family, overcoming his imposter syndrome, and finding his voice. Audio excerpted courtesy Penguin Random House Audio from THE ALGEBRA OF HAPPINESS by Scott Galloway, read by Scott Galloway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Scott Galloway?

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• 0:49Speaker 01

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• 1:27Scott Galloway?

  Welcome to the Prof G Pod's final episode of the year. Jesus Christ, 2021, good riddance. Anyways, in today's episode, we're sharing an excerpt from my book, The Algebra of Happiness, read by yours truly. This is not a cop-out, a little bit of a cop-out, a little bit of a cop-out, but this is a book that, of all the things we do on this podcast, the segments of the show that get the most response are our Algebra of Happiness segments. And so here's the full one. We're going full Monty with AOH.

• 2:06Scott Galloway?

  In 1982, Emerson Junior High School, in its ninth-grade poll, named me Most Comical and Steve Martin. Since then, I've successfully navigated all awards and recognition. A month ago, a friend of mine, Anne Maffei, texted me, "Please respond to my brother. He wants to give you an award that recognizes your work." Anne's brother is Greg Maffei, CEO of Liberty Media, a mass media firm founded by the original gangster of cable, John Malone. #Badass. Before that, Greg was CFO of Microsoft, which feels even more gangster uber cool to me. I think being CFO of the evil empire of the 90s is as close to Darth Vader of the corporate world as one can get. But Greg

• 2:51Scott Galloway?

  is too likeable to be the Dark Lord. So I envisioned Greg as Darth Vader after he defeats the Emperor, removes his mask, and returns from the dark side. So a quick search of the inbox, and there they are. Emails from Greg and his colleagues congratulating me as I'm the 2018 recipient of the Media for Liberty Award. I had been gracious enough to ignore them for two months. Liberty, five years ago, crafted an award for an author or journalist who writes about the intersection of politics and the economy. I'm pretty sure Greg is a billionaire, as all the elected officials at the event were really, really nice to him. Remember, he was CFO of Microsoft in the 90s. And I think it's fitting that

• 3:35Scott Galloway?

  a professor was too out to lunch to respond. So I got back to Greg, "Yes, this is awesome. Thanks," and agreed to accept the award at a ceremony in DC over dinner and drinks at the museum, DC's favorite museum for 2016, according to The Washingtonian. I'm excited about the day, but anxious and uneasy. I'm nervous that I'm flying too close to the sun. That and some, I'm a fraud.

• 4:03Scott Galloway?

  Increased attention and recognition puts a guy on my shoulder whispering in my ear. "Who are you kidding? You're a fraud." Whenever success came my way, it was because I was fooling them. I didn't earn recognition as an academic, nor rewards as an entrepreneur. I felt an anxiety, always, that I'd be found out for what I really am. The son of a secretary who did poorly in school, did not invest in relationships, was selfish, and isn't that gifted. Someone whose only real talent was self-promotion and taking credit for other people's work. A fraud. The anxiety is sort of dissipating as I realize that most successful people reach beyond their grasp.

• 4:47Scott Galloway?

  Seventy percent of Americans admit to experiencing imposter syndrome. Unless you take time to squash these thoughts, psychologists claim they only get louder. So I cut myself some slack, as there's been some hard work, risk, and giving along the way. Still, there's always the insecurity whispering in my ear. "I know who you really are." I hope this is insecurity, not common sense or clarity. Anxious Scott Goes to Washington. The dinner and awards ceremony were wonderful. Overlooking the Capitol, reflecting on the day, I loved being American.

• 5:29Scott Galloway?

  Despite the voice on my shoulder, I summoned the skills to present well during the conversation with Greg, who is great at helping others be better at what they do. I had friends in the audience ranging from my best friend from the 4th grade to my new friends from Florida and a dozen in between. Like many important events, there were moments of melancholy. I wish my mom could have seen me. I wish my dad was well enough to have been there. I have a good friend who attended, whose husband is very sick, and I could feel some of the weight and sadness she was bearing, and how generous it was of her to be there. I also felt the love of friends and my wife, who rode on planes and trains for six hours to cement the moment for me. Achievement is just a moment in pencil unless you can share it with people you care

• 6:14Scott Galloway?

  about. Then it becomes real, a memory in permanent ink. The voice of insecurity is still on my shoulder. However, it dims, as I feel American, relevant, and loved.

• 6:29Scott Galloway?

  We'll be right back.

• 6:33Scott Galloway?

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• 7:18Scott Galloway?

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• 7:35Scott Galloway?

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• 8:20Scott Galloway?

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• 8:43Scott Galloway?

  Find your voice.

• 8:46Scott Galloway?

  When I was around five, I noticed that people behaved differently around my father. They would gaze into his eyes, nodding and then laughing. Women would touch his arm, laughing, and men, when they saw him, would yell, "Tommy", genuinely happy to see him. He was great with a turn of phrase, funny and clever, that is British. The cocktail of articulate, irreverent, and smart, chased with a Scottish accent, made my dad attractive to women and employers.

• 9:15Scott Galloway?

  My mother explained to me, "Your father is charming." At gatherings inevitably, a semicircle forms around my dad, and he tells jokes and shares his take on things ranging from space, if it never ends everything has already happened, to management, the key is a good job description. This charm sustained for a decade, an upper-middle-class lifestyle for him, my mom, and me, as my father roamed the Western United States and Canada, maintaining in 15-minute spurts pseudo-friendships with the managers of the outdoor and garden departments at Sears and Lowe's. In exchange for his company, my dad's 200 pseudo-friends would over-order bags of shit as he was selling fertilizer for O.M. Scott's & Sons,

• 10:00Scott Galloway?

  an international telegraph and telegram, that is ITT, company. In his late 50s, after the marketplace made it clear a recently laid-off manager from ITT was no longer welcome in the Fortune 500, he began giving seminars, open to the public, at a local community college. Cheap fluorescent lighting made the space feel like an operating room in an East German hospital. There were six rows of eight-folding chairs, an overhead slide projector, transparencies with smudges, and a table at the back with half-empty 2-liter bottles of Dr. Pepper, Sprite and Tab, and lemon squares my stepmom had baked. Around 15 people, mostly in their 50s and 60s, would attend.

• 10:44Scott Galloway?

  My dad would speak for 90 minutes, breaking halfway through so everyone could venture to the hall and have a cigarette. I attended a few times as a teen. At that age, I found everything involving my parents lame, but this felt especially sad, depressing even. In exchange for imparting his wisdom on mostly other unemployed smokers, my dad had to pay $10 to $20 for gas and treats. My dad reflects on these seminars as the happiest he's ever been. He was where he was meant to be, in front of a group of people, speaking and teaching.

• 11:22Scott Galloway?

  Charm skips a generation. I did not inherit my father's charm. In fact, being offensive, the opposite of charm, is something I've developed a knack for. Not a "speak truth to power" kind of offensive, but a tone deaf, saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong moment, kind of offensive. I regularly say things and write emails that make good people feel bad. And I know it, no excuse. Because I'm successful, people often recast this offensiveness as honesty or even leadership. No, it's just being an asshole. I'm working on it. However, my father did pass on the ability to hold a room of people,

• 12:06Scott Galloway?

  as long as it's a windowless boardroom or conference hall on the 55th floor of a midtown building or in the basement of a hotel. Most people become increasingly uncomfortable as the group grows. I experience the inverse. One-on-one, I'm an introvert, insecure even. But as the room fills, other skills kick in. In front of dozens, crisp insights find me. In front of hundreds, humor and warmth. And thousands, a rush of adrenaline and the confidence to reach beyond my grasp and be inspiring. I may be wrong, but my heart is in the right place. I can look each person in the eye and assert I believe what I am saying to be true.

• 12:52Scott Galloway?

  Stand-up.

• 12:54Scott Galloway?

  To hone their craft, comedians do stand-up at clubs. For me, stand-up is class, where I hone the craft of speaking every Tuesday night for three hours in front of 170 second-year MBAs. I'm much more focused and put more effort into class than in front of any board or gathering of Gold Circle commercial real estate brokers. I make much less, about $1,000 per podium hour. Note, this sounds like more than it is, as you spend several hours outside of class prepping or meeting with students for each podium hour. In addition, the amount of bullshit you endure to get this platform, advanced degrees, department politics, is substantial.

• 13:37Scott Galloway?

  Two Things. My dad will only get on a plane for two things, and they aren't to see his grandkids or spend time with friends. He will only get on a plane to see the Toronto Maple Leafs play or to watch his son teach. He sits in the back row of the classroom. At the beginning of class, we ask any visitors to introduce themselves. We get a half a dozen curious undergrads or applicants in almost every class. My dad waits until they're done and then, really dialing up the accent, says, "I'm Tom Galloway, Scott's father." There's a pause, then sustained applause. I observe my dad riveted on my every word and movement for the next three hours.

• 14:19Scott Galloway?

  I wonder if at 88, he looks at me and feels disappointment that he didn't have the opportunities to reach his full potential as a speaker, or if he feels the reward of evolutionary progress, seeing himself but version 2.0. Seeing my dad in class reminds me that the difference between bribing people to listen to you with lemon squares and being paid $2,000 per minute at corporate gatherings is not talent. My dad has more of that. The difference is being born in America and the generosity of California taxpayers, who gave the child of a secretary the chance to attend a world-class university. The mix of my dad's talent and the confidence I received from the abundant love of his second wife

• 15:03Scott Galloway?

  gave me the skills and opportunity to stand in front of a room of people, look each in the eyes, and say, "I believe this to be true." That's all for this episode. Audio excerpted courtesy of Penguin Random House Audio from "The Algebra of Happiness" by Scott Galloway. Read by, wait for it, Scott Galloway. Thank you for tuning in all year long. This has been a wonderful year for us. Thanks to the team, and thanks for listening. People come up to me and say hi. They interrupt my dinners, they interrupt my walks, and they come up and say, "Hey, Prof. G, and how does it feel to be interrupted from what you're trying to get done that day and have someone come up, some stranger come up, and just start barking at you?" It feels wonderful. Thank you.

• 15:47Scott Galloway?

  I hope you've had a wonderful year. I hope the next year is better for all of us.

• 15:53Scott Galloway?

  Our producers are Caroline Chagrin and Drew Burrows. Claire Miller is our assistant producer. If you like what you heard, please follow, download and subscribe. Thank you for listening to the Prof G Pod from the Vox Media Podcast Network. We will catch you again on Thursday, January 6, 2022. Jesus Christ, 2022. Who would have thunk it?

• 16:14Speaker 02

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• 16:23Speaker 03

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• 16:45Speaker 04

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