Pod Insights The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway Landing Your First Senior Role + The Friendship Recession About this episode Scott Galloway on how to earn your first senior role instead of just holding it, why the friendship recession is real and what to actually do about it, and why mastery — not passion — is the real path to a career you love.
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Transcript 4,852 words · 10 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:36 Scott Galloway? Welcome to Office Hours with Prof G. This is the part of the show where we answer your questions about business, tech, entrepreneurship, and whatever else is on your mind. A big update: Office Hours is now airing on Mondays and Wednesdays in the Prof G feed. You'll still get double the dog, double the inside. What a thrill! Is that big news? I don't know if that was big news. Maybe that was big-ish news. Anyways, if you'd like to submit a question for next time, you can send a voice recording to [email protected] . Again, that's [email protected] . Or post your question on the Scott Galloway subreddit, and we just might feature it on our next episode. Question one. Our first question comes from Jake, who emailed us, "Hi Scott, I recently landed my first senior role in a large company. I'm 28 years old and this is a huge increase to the level of responsibility I'm used to.
2:19 Scott Galloway? The company has 31 significant businesses it owns and operates. My job will be both to develop the partnerships that make the businesses possible and to drum up new business. What advice do you have for young people who land their first senior role? What is the best approach I can take for the first few months to ensure long-term success in the job?" Huh. Well, typically, most people who get a promotion are already sort of doing the job. I've said, "If you want to be promoted, start doing that job. Start behaving as if you are doing that job." So my guess is you're already, you know, my guess is the people who made the promotion are smart.
2:59 Scott Galloway? So what advice? Be humble. Meet with the people who are now reporting to you and ask them, you know, check in with them, ask how you can be helpful to them. Do a really good job. Go overboard in public circles of praising your team and deflecting credit to members of your team. Be seen as like a good person who's empathetic and who wants them to win. Meet with them a lot. I don't, I wouldn't be drunk on your power. I think the last thing you want to do is be like the young asshole that's like all of a sudden telling everyone what to do. So I think the first thing to do is probably to have a coffee with your entire team. Take them out, get their impression of what's going on. How can you help them be more successful?
3:45 Scott Galloway? And you know, just bring it. Show up 10 minutes early to everything. Leave 10 minutes after everyone else. Show you're willing to roll up your sleeves. I'm a big fan. I think there's two management styles. There's, or two leadership styles, I should say. There's the inspiring leader who gets up and gives a speech and tells people what to do and wow, isn't this person compelling? And then there's the player coach. I've always been the inspiring leader and that is I like getting it at all hands and talking about the business and I'm articulate and trying to motivate people. That only lasts so long because after a while, people start hearing the same stories and get a little bit cynical and get sick of the kind of rah rah. The second player coach, actually the woman Catherine Dillon, who runs Prop G Media is a great example of a player coach leader.
4:30 Scott Galloway? And that is if she doesn't like the edit you did on one of these podcasts, one of the producers does on one of these podcasts, she'll typically go through the edit with them and show them what to do. When we, we've worked together about 15 years, when we were in an office space in Greenwich Village, I constantly saw her when she was editing videos or working on a report or doing charts, she was our creative director back then. She would take her chair and pull it next to the person and be next to that person for an hour. She wouldn't come back and say, this is wrong, this is wrong, and this is wrong, fix it. She would sit down and say, this is how I think we can make this better. And we'd teach them a player coach. I actually think that's a much more valuable means of leadership.
5:15 Scott Galloway? So try and be a player coach and that is where you see opportunities to help the people working with and/or reporting to you. Sit down with them and try and upskill them and give them the sense that you're going to make it more likely that they'll win. And I would also just in meetings deflect, again deflect credit, let other people speak, try and listen, just be very thoughtful. And then for three or six months, just show that you, you know, you've come to play and work very hard. Other than that, you know, I don't know, be a player coach, don't be an asshole, work hard. I guess that's, that's about it. And don't be afraid to check in with your boss and say, hey, it's been three months, six months, how am I doing? Where can I improve? Congratulations, that's exciting for you.
5:59 Scott Galloway? It's what you call a good problem. Question number two.
6:04 Speaker 05 Hi Prof G, my name is Leslie. I'm 31 years old and I have a general question for you about growing up and losing friends. It seems like as I age, I lose more and more friends every year. It's harder and harder to see my friends from college or the few that remain from high school. And the simple act of getting a beer with a few of my friends is a daunting task. Hanging out with my friends seems more like a board meeting we have to schedule than it does just a hangout session like it used to be. I have no kids, I'm single, and that life makes me happy. I'm a working professional who has multiple graduate degrees and plenty of hobbies that
6:49 Speaker 05 I enjoy. So I'm not some sheltered person vaping in my mom's basement. But I do miss my friends and I miss a life that we had that seems like it's come and gone. I understand that life, career, family is gonna make friendships less tangible as we age. And I'm not 21 anymore and I don't live on campus. So the days of just going out and drinking on a random Thursday are far gone, as sad as that is. But how do I accept the fact and navigate an adult world of just mostly being alone and not seeing my friends anymore? Thanks Prof G for all you do.
7:32 Scott Galloway? So, thanks for the question and the vulnerability. So just some data on what's being referred to as a friendship recession. Americans report having fewer close friendships than they once did, talking to their friends less often and relying less on their friends for personal support. Just 13% of US adults say they have 10 or more close friends compared with 33% in 1990. So the number of close friends has been cut by 2/3 according to the World Economic Forum. The percentage of US adults who report having no close friends has quadrupled to 12% since 1990. I think 1 in 7 men can name a single friend and I think 1 in 4 men can name a best friend. It's interesting, it's not as bad for women. 2/3 of men say their wife is their best friend, 1/3 of women say that women are better at
8:17 Scott Galloway? maintaining friendships. In terms of times spent with friends, Americans consistently spend about 5 or 7 hours with friends. A week and now it's plummeted to four hours. It's all going to the fucking phone. The phone ruins everything. It's every day, second by second, 40% of the S and P has invested interest in sequestering you from your friends, your mentors, and your mates. The OECD data suggests people now spend 25 less time socializing face to face compared to 20 years ago. I'm shocked it's not 50%. So why it's happening? Americans are marrying later than ever and are more geographically mobile than the past, and these trends increase social isolation.
9:00 Scott Galloway? American parents are also spending twice as much time with their children compared to previous generations, leaving less time for friends, and this crowds our friendships. And suburban sprawl has physically distanced people from one another. The government has slowed investment in third spaces, community centers, parks, coffee shops, leaving fewer places for organic social interaction. The rate of volunteering has steeply declined since the early 2000s. So the workplace has now become the most common place for Americans to make friends. 54% of Americans with close friends say they met at work. Less than half, 47%, report making a close friend at school. About 1 in 3 have made a close friend in their neighborhood, and about 1 in 5 through a place of worship or club organization.
9:41 Scott Galloway? And by the way, remote work, remote school, attendance at religious institutions at all time lows, fewer third places, there's just fewer venues to make friends. Among seniors, only 41% say they've made a new friend in the past year, suggesting our willingness or capacity to forge new bonds fades over time. So back to your situation, you're in a part of life where people are, a lot of your friends are probably busy, you know, having kids and dogs and getting dogs and focused on their relationship and trying to get ahead professionally. So that is an age where, I don't want to say people go dark, but people are just doing their own thing, forming their own families, trying to work a lot, trying to get some economic security. So some of it might be that your friends are less available.
10:24 Scott Galloway? Also, I don't think it's, I mean, I had a ton of close friends or friends in college, and I still stay in contact with eight, and two or three are I'm still close with. And I'm better at, I pride myself, I try to be very good at friends. But I would argue if you're kind of doing your own thing and you're happy with it. When I first moved to New York in 2000, I went through a weird stage, and that is
10:49 Scott Galloway? I got divorced. Um, I basically said to my ex, you can have all our friends. I just wanted, I wanted to press the reset button on my life. I was living in San Francisco, starting e-commerce companies. I couldn't stand San Francisco. I couldn't stand venture capitalists. I didn't like, I was also running a strategy firm. I hated the services businesses. I hated playing fucking golf with clients all the time. Hated managing people in my early thirties. I don't think I was very good at it. Constantly raising money and I just wanted out. And I moved to New York and I joined the faculty of NYU. And quite frankly, I lived a little bit like a caveman, kind of just left for a place for, to go hunting for food and water. And I didn't stay in contact with friends.
11:33 Scott Galloway? And I gotta be honest, I kind of liked those few years. It was, I liked being alone. I'm a bit of an introvert. I did decide at some point though, that I need to make more of an effort to be involved in people's lives, to reignite some friendships, to rekindle some friendships, to try and find a romantic relationship. Because I just determined that it was fine from thirty, whatever it was, four to thirty-eight. But if I was doing that at fifty, I would probably be dead by fifty-five. There's a lot of evidence and data showing that if you want to die, especially as a dude, just go into your apartment or home and don't have any contact with anybody. And I realized, I recognized this is just unhealthy. It's indulgent and as much as I'm kind of enjoying it, it's unhealthy.
12:17 Scott Galloway? But I wouldn't be, you know, where you are at thirty-one, maybe not having a lot of friends right now or not seeing them a lot. If it feels forced, don't do it. And find maybe some passions. If you're into your hobbies, maybe, maybe just engage in those hobbies in places where you can be around other people and maybe meet others. But brother, if you're happy and doing your own thing and your friends aren't quite as available, I wouldn't beat yourself up around it. Just make sure that you feel good about yourself, that you have enough social interaction. Maybe err on the side of having more social interaction, accepting more invitations, be open to yes. When you get invited to things, go. I think at your age, like, not everyone needs a romantic relationship, but I think you should at least be trying.
13:00 Scott Galloway? I don't, I think that's part of being a mammal. And some people are loners and very happy, but I think most people aren't. I think most people really enjoy friendships and romantic relationships. And you learn a lot about the world and yourself. And also, when it works, they're just super rewarding. So, boss, look, it sounds like you have your shit together. It sounds like you're happy with where you are. Fine, don't beat yourself up. It's no big crisis. Your friends are busy, you're busy. But maybe err a little bit on the side of saying yes to more things and being open to new friendships. I have consistently shed and renewed my friendship pool. And that is, if I make a friend situationally and we like each other, but it, when I first moved to New York, I had a bunch of what I call wingmen.
13:42 Scott Galloway? And that is, didn't know anybody, so I found a bunch of drinking buddies that I go out with and try and have a good time and meet women. And I'm not friends with most of those people now, not because they're not good guys, but now I'm in a different stage of life. Anyways, I think you're doing just fine. Err on the side of yes. Thanks for the question. We'll be right back after a quick break.
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17:27 Scott Galloway? Welcome back. Question number three.
17:30 Speaker 06 Hey, Prop G. My name is Matt. I met you and your wife last summer while working as a valet in Nantucket, and your guys' kindness and generosity left a lasting impression on me. I just wanted to start by saying thank you for both that moment and the content you continuously put out. I recently finished Running Down a Dream by Bill Gurley, and I noticed an interesting contrast between his philosophy and yours. And don't worry, I've read all your books as well. He emphasizes finding passion first and letting it develop into a talent, while you often suggest finding talent and letting passion follow. I'd really value your perspective on my situation. I work in the mortgage industry for a home builder as a loan officer associate, and I'm about to be promoted into a commission-based role in a high-volume division closing about
18:13 Speaker 06 1,200 homes a year. It's a strong opportunity with decent upside, but I don't feel passionate about the work, and I often wonder if there's something more out there for me. Should I lean into this path and simply try to excel, or step back and look for something that leaves me a little bit more fulfilled and better aligns with my interests? Any advice would mean a lot. Thanks again.
18:33 Scott Galloway? So we're genuine. We say, this is the first time, right here and now, you're listening to this for the first time. I'm, I'm hearing this for the first time, and my producer uploaded an image, and we should put it on the site, or I don't know, we'll have it maybe in the YouTube video, of a picture of me and this kid, and it's literally just made my fucking day. I remember this kid. He was like a handsome dude, and he came up and said how much he liked my work, and just this lovely young man, and I think we even talked about your job. And I think I parked cars, I parked cars, I waited tables, I was a box boy, I did all that. I think services work. I encouraged my son, and he did, he worked in a food truck
19:17 Scott Galloway? in Nantucket this summer. I think every, every person, it should be mandatory for young people to have a services job. One, you realize, it's easy to just start thinking that they're robots or an unwashed mass that just are here to serve you. No, they're not. They're people like you trying to get through school. It just, it's, it makes you a better, nicer person, more empathetic, and also, it's incredible, the skills you develop facing the public and trying to navigate that stuff. Anyways, I think it's great, and I'm absolutely thrilled to hear from you, and this has made my day. Okay, so. Your question. We just had Bill on our Prop G Markets podcast.
19:56 Scott Galloway? I would argue there's some overlap here that some of it is semantics and how we're using the words. I had a clip go viral saying, "Find your talent, not your passion." Okay, so I have found that what creates passion is mastery. And that is if you become really good at originating and placing mortgages, you're going to make a lot of money, people are going to respect you, you're going to enjoy being good at it, and the accoutrements of being excellent at anything, camaraderie, relevance, economic benefit, make you passionate about whatever that thing is. There's very few people who are really good at anything that aren't passionate about it because when they needed to be passionate about it, they become good at it.
20:39 Scott Galloway? Now, my caveat is that when you tell young people to find their passion, oftentimes they mistake their hobbies for their passion. You know, fashion is fun, nightclubs are fun, opening a restaurant, cooking, being an athlete, that would be a lot of fun. Being an actor, I don't even think of it as work, I think that would be fun, although it's a very difficult industry. And the problem is the quote-unquote passion or vanity industries are over-invested. What do I mean by that? Eighty to ninety percent of SAG-AFTRA members didn't qualify for health insurance last year. These are the most talented actors in the world, didn't get health insurance last year because they made less than $23,000 and didn't qualify for health insurance. Why? Because there's about 10 times more actors and actresses than there is demand. So you have to be in the point one percent.
21:22 Scott Galloway? It's like trying to be an NBA player. My suggestion is the following, and that is, it sounds like you're kind of on a glide path in this mortgage job. Do it for a year or two years and think, "Could I be great at this?" And if you could be great at it, it means you're probably not, you know, disliking it less, maybe starting to like it, and at some point, maybe have your own book, start your own company. I just, look, I think the business of finance is the highest-paying industry in the world because there's no friction. When you're manufacturing something, there's friction around the assembly line. In the services business, there's friction around your time. The business of money is the best business in the world because writing a mortgage for $800,000 takes as much time as writing a mortgage for $8 million.
22:05 Scott Galloway? And as you go up the food chain, you know, you can do more volume. I just, the business of money is the best business in the world. And it sounds like you have an in there. It sounds like you're good at it. It sounds like you have some certification to do at it, to do it. So what I would suggest is unless you find it total drudgery, don't fall into the trap of thinking I need to be passionate about something. I've, I never would have known I was going to be passionate about analytics. I built a big analytics business that I got, I sold for a bunch of money. I didn't think I'd be passionate about e-commerce. I did that, I liked it. I knew I was going to be passionate about teaching, but quite frankly, I didn't start teaching until I had some economic security. So, look, brother, I, I don't, I hate it when people say follow your passion because they're being generous with your time and they don't have to pay your mortgage or buy
22:50 Scott Galloway? you a car. And we live in a capitalist society and as a young man, you're going to be disproportionately evaluated on your economic viability. And I think your job is to find something you're good at. My advice, don't mistake your hobbies for your passions. Your job in your twenties is to find something you're good at, that you could be great at. And in two or three years, if you find you hate it, I hated investment banking. I thought I want to be an investment banker. I did it for a couple of years. I hated it and I wasn't very good at it. So I did something else. But it sounds like you've got an in here. It sounds like it's something where you're going to have some momentum. So I would stick with this. I wouldn't say, don't take off for India and try and, you know, go to an ashram and decide what your destiny is. It sounds like you're on a bit of a glide path, so check this out.
23:34 Scott Galloway? It sounds like a good opportunity and have a kitchen cabinet of people and revisit and you'll know yourself whether the upside of getting domain expertise and getting better at it compensates for anything bad about the job. But ultimately you'll know if you're starting to develop a passion for it and try hard to develop, get good at something in an industry that is not a vanity industry because you're competing against X number of people versus 10X. Anyways, brother, let me just finish where I started. This has made my day. I love this picture of you and very much glad to hear from you. And if you're, I'm going to be in Nantucket, I think, the last two weeks of August. If you're there, send me a message and we'll grab coffee. I would love to catch up.
24:19 Scott Galloway? Thanks again.
24:22 Scott Galloway? That's all for this episode. If you'd like to submit a question, please email a voice recording to [email protected] . Again, that's [email protected] . Or if you prefer to ask on Reddit, just post your question on the Scott Galloway subreddit and we just might feature it in an upcoming episode. This episode was produced by Jennifer Sanchez and Laura Janer. Kami Rique is our social producer, Brad Williams is our editor, and Drew Burrows is our technical director. Thank you for listening to the Prop G Pod from Prop G Media.
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