Introducing: Creation Myth

Introducing the new season of Personally, called Creation Myth. Helena does not want to have kids. Kid, child, baby - not for her. She’s just not parent material. So why is she obsessed with parenthood? Why does she ask her friends who are parents for every detail? She’s in her forties now. The door is almost closed. And suddenly, she wonders. Does she want a kid?

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a CBC Podcast.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  For years, I've sounded like a broken record. I do not want kids. I don't want to have a child. I do not ever want to have a kid. I am not maternal. I don't want to have a kid. I don't want to have a kid. Don't want to have a kid. Don't want to have a kid.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  And I don't want to get pregnant. Did I mention that? I don't want to have a baby.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  I'm just not parent material. I would fall apart.

• 0:24Speaker 02

  If you had a kid?

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  But for some reason, I am obsessed with parenthood. Anyone who has a kid, I'll ask them, what's it like?

• 0:35Speaker 02

  It was quite magical, you know, within half an hour of birth. Also, a lot of my existential dread flew out the window. Everything becomes meaningful and infused with purpose.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  I'm in my 40s now. The door is almost closed.

• 0:56Speaker 00

  Uh-oh.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  I'm not the chillest person on the planet. But with him, I feel so chill. Like, he's crying, and I take him into my arms, and there's like something primal that happens. Like, my heart rate's slowing down, my breathing's slowing down, and I become sort of this orb of calm. You know what I mean? I see it in you. And suddenly, I'm not so sure.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  The story has always been no. I'm just wondering to what degree it's just a story.

• 1:34Speaker 00

  Definitely just a story.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  From CBC's Personally, this is Creation Myth. Available now wherever you get your podcasts. I know that people can't give advice, but I'm asking you, should I have a kid or no?

• 1:51Speaker 00

  I thought you'd never ask.

• 1:56Speaker 00

  For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca/podcasts.