The Living Code: Four Pillars of a Life Built on Rock w/ John R. Miles | EP 660

In the debut of the Decoding Humanity series, John R. Miles explores what he calls The Living Code: the deeper foundation beneath our lives that determines whether we stand strong or collapse when the inevitable storms come. Drawing on timeless wisdom from the Gospel of Matthew, insights from neuroscience, and reflections from recent guests Dr. Bruce Miller, Dr. Virginia Sturm, and Dr. Caroline Fleck, John reveals the four pillars of C. O. D. E. — Core Values, Open Empathy, Deep Rest, and Embodied Practices. This episode challenges listeners to run a “system check,” confront where their foundations may be built on sand, and take practical steps toward recoding their humanity. Visit the Link for the Full Show Notes. Drawing on personal stories, expert interviews, and real-world insights, John explores the science behind why work is quietly making us sick—and invites listeners to realign with what their body and mind truly need. Go Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, deeper dives into the episodes, workbooks, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action. Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/Connect with John Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/Book John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Keynotes, books, podcast, and resources: https://linktr.ee/John_R_MilesChildren’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. DisclaimerThe Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 0:27John R. Miles?

  Coming up next on Passion Struck. Imagine this. You're holding the newest iPhone in your hand. The apps are sleek. The screen is bright. The design is flawless. But here's the catch. Its operating system hasn't been updated in over five years. At first, things run okay. Then the glitches begin. Apps crash. Notifications freeze. The system lags. No matter how many new shiny apps you download, the operating system can't handle it. Now let me ask you, how many of us are living our lives this way? We stack routines, supplements, and productivity hacks. But we rarely stop to ask,

• 1:12John R. Miles?

  what's happening with the deeper foundation of our lives? Because in the end, it's not the apps that hold us together. It's the operating system underneath. And that's what I'm going to explore in today's episode. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week

• 1:55John R. Miles?

  with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hi friends, welcome back to Passion Struck into episode 660. Today's episode begins a brand new series I'm calling Decoding Humanity. And I want to tell you why. Over the past few years, I've interviewed neuroscientists, behavior scientists, psychologists, leaders, and spiritual teachers. And one theme keeps surfacing. We are living in a time. When we understand more about the human body, brain and spirit than at any moment in history, yet at the very same time, rates of anxiety, depression, loneliness and disconnection are skyrocketing.

• 2:40John R. Miles?

  It made me ask, if we know so much about what makes us human, why are we struggling so deeply to live as humans? That's why I wanted to dedicate this series to exploring the foundations of who we are, our biology, our psychology, our trauma, our identity, our community, and the stories we tell ourselves. Because it's only when we understand those foundations that we can begin to build a life that's not just optimized, but whole. This week, you already heard from Dr. Bruce Miller and Dr. Virginia Sturm, who showed us how purpose is not just a lofty ideal, it's a biological necessity for the brain. And also from Dr. Caroline Fleck, who revealed why validation isn't praise, it's survival.

• 3:22John R. Miles?

  And today, I want to bring those threads together to ask, what if the real challenge isn't finding the next fix, but rebuilding the foundation, upgrading what I call the living code? Before we dive in, a few quick notes. If you haven't already, be sure to check out startmattering.com, where every design is more than apparel. It's a reminder that you matter and your choices ripple out into the world. And if you want deeper tools and reflections from every episode, join me on theignitedlife.net or Substack newsletter. If you found values in these conversations, one of the best ways you can support this movement is by leaving a five-star rating or review. It helps new people discover the show and keeps us growing week after week. Finally, I have a big announcement coming up, something I've been working on quietly

• 4:07John R. Miles?

  for over two years. I can't share the details just yet, but I'll be revealing it soon, so stay tuned. Now let's take this idea of foundations deeper, because long before iPhones and operating systems, there was an ancient story about what really holds a life together. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your hosting guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.

• 4:37John R. Miles?

  There's an old parable in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 7, that has always stayed with me. It starts with verse 24, where Jesus said, "Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on rock." What Jesus is actually saying here is deceptively simple. It's not enough to hear truth. It's not enough to know it intellectually. Wisdom is revealed in practice, in living it, in putting it into action. And that's something I see every day in our modern world. I once met a young professional who had read every self-improvement book under the sun.

• 5:18John R. Miles?

  He could quote passages, list out frameworks, recite techniques. But when stress hit, when his company went through a merger, none of it helped. Why? Because he hadn't practiced any of it. That knowledge sat on the surface like a decoration, but there was no foundation beneath it. Jesus is reminding us that wisdom is practice. Rock is formed in practice, in repetition, in action, in lived alignment. Then Jesus goes on in verse 25, where he says, "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house.

• 6:00John R. Miles?

  Yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Notice, he doesn't say, "If the storm comes," he says, "when." Storms are inevitable. Loss, illness, disappointment, betrayal, or the quieter storms, such as burnout, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, the nonsense that life looks good on the outside, but is empty on the inside. When I worked in the corporate world, I saw this truth firsthand. Some of the most decorated and disciplined people I knew. Crumbled when the storm hit. And they did so because their lives were built on achievement alone.

• 6:42John R. Miles?

  But others, some quieter, less outwardly impressive, endured with a strength that nothing could shake. Here's the question I want to ask you. When the storms come, not if, but when, what foundation are you building? Is it rock or is it sand? In verse 26, Jesus continues, "But anyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand." And here's the contrast. Sand is easy. It's popular. You can build on it fast. And man, does it look impressive. But that's what we're drawn to. Praise, possessions, promotions. From the outside, everything looks strong,

• 7:28John R. Miles?

  but the sand can't hold its weight. I once worked for a corporate leader who embodied this. Her resume sparkled. Her reputation was impeccable. But when her marriage fell apart, when her health declined, it all collapsed. Not because she wasn't capable, but because the foundation of her life had never been laid. She had been building her life on sand. And in verse 27, Jesus ends with these words. "The rains came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash." It isn't the storms that destroy us. It's the foundations we choose. Two people can face the same storms.

• 8:12John R. Miles?

  One endures, the other collapses. The difference isn't the storm's power. It's in the foundation's strength. And here's why this matters so much for all of us right now. This parable isn't just about two builders thousands of years ago. It's about us. Every one of us is building a life, careers, families, identities. But the real test isn't how polished the house looks. It's whether the foundation can hold when the storms come. As Viktor Frankl once wrote, "Those who have a why to live can bear almost any how." That right there is the rock, the foundation, not the surface, not the facade.

• 8:56John R. Miles?

  And that's why I wanted to start this Decoding Humanity series right here. Because neuroscience, psychology, even our lived experience, all echo the same truth. If the foundation is weak, the whole structure eventually falls apart. Bruce Miller and Virginia Sturm reminded us that empathy and purpose aren't add-ons to a good life. They're foundational, wired into the brain. And Carolyn Fleck showed us that validation, the experience of being seen and accepted, is just as essential. Without it, structure crumbles. So the question I want to explore with you today is this. What does it mean to build a life on rock?

• 9:40John R. Miles?

  Not sand in the world that we live in right now. What is the deeper foundation? The living code that allows us not just to survive the storms, but to endure them with strength and coherence? When I use the phrase "living code," here's exactly what I mean. Every human being carries an invisible architecture underneath the surface. It's not written in lines of software, but in beliefs, values, patterns of connection, as well as embodied practices. And whether we're aware of this or not, this code governs everything else in our life. When the code is aligned, our lives cohere.

• 10:23John R. Miles?

  We can weather storms, endure loss, and still move with strength and purpose. But when the code is fragmented or neglected, we can appear strong on the outside while collapsing within. That's why I call it "the living code." It's dynamic. Not static. It can be cultivated. It can be upgraded. It adapts as we grow. And when it's strong, everything else in our life, our work, our relationships, even our well-being, they all run more smoothly, just like an updated operating system makes every app run better. So the question is, what makes up this living code?

• 11:03John R. Miles?

  What are the essential elements that create a foundation strong enough to hold us up during a storm? That's where this framework comes in. I call it code. So you may be wondering, why code? Well, part of it is, I wanted something that you could remember, something sticky. But more than that, code just felt like the right word. Because each of us is already living a kind of code. Sometimes it's chosen. Sometimes it's inherited. Sometimes it's imposed by culture. But whether we realize it or not, our code directs how we act, how we treat others, how we endure storms, and how we make sense of life. And when I use the phrase "the living code",

• 11:47John R. Miles?

  I mean the deep structure beneath all of it. It's not the quick fixes on the surface. It's the root system, the rock, the foundation. And I believe that there are four elements that make that code strong. That's why I built this framework, code. It's not just another acronym. It's a way of remembering the four foundations that every human being needs to live coherently, with strength, meaning, and purpose. And the first of those foundations is this: core values. When I think about core values, I picture the words of the Stoics, who often compared life to a tree.

• 12:26John R. Miles?

  Seneca once wrote, "No tree becomes rooted and sturdy unless many a wind assails it. For by its very tossing, it tightens its grip and plants its roots more securely." The fragile trees are those in a sunny valley. Isn't what Seneca said true with our lives? We don't grow stronger by avoiding the storms. We grow stronger by having roots deep enough to sustain them. And that's exactly what core values are: the unseen roots of your life. They anchor you when winds rise. They're the compass you return to when everything else in your life feels uncertain. And here's the remarkable thing. This isn't just philosophy.

• 13:11John R. Miles?

  Modern neuroscience is confirming what the ancients already knew. In my conversation with Bruce Miller and Virginia Sturm, they explained that traits like fairness, empathy, respect, and purpose aren't just some lofty ideals. They're actually hardwired into the brain. Circuits in the frontal and temporal regions of the brain actually regulate how we live out those values. And when those circuits are damaged, the very capacity for empathy and integrity begins to unravel. But when they're nurtured, they give shape to a life that is coherent and resilient. So let me ask you, where are your roots? When the storms arise in your life, what's holding you up?

• 13:55John R. Miles?

  Because that's the first piece in the living code. C is for core values, not just written down, embodied. The second element of the living code is open empathy. There's a story about the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. Despite ruling one of the most powerful empires in history, he would remind himself daily, "You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do, say, and think." Why would a man at the height of his power dwell on his own mortality? Because it kept him open. It reminded him that life is fragile and that every person that he encountered,

• 14:38John R. Miles?

  slave, soldier, or senator, all shared the same fate. It cultivated empathy in him. And empathy isn't a weakness. It's wiring. Neuroscience has shown us that the same circuits that allow us to speak, to remember, to move, actually also regulate how we connect, validate.

• 15:01John R. Miles?

  And care for others. In my conversation with Dr. Miller and Dr. Sturm, they explained how diseases that attack the brain can literally unravel our ability to feel empathy. When empathy breaks down, so does our humanity. And Caroline Fleck brought this down to the level of daily life. She reminded us that so much of the mental health crisis is, at its core, a validation crisis. We confuse all the time validation with praise. But validation isn't someone telling you, "Good job." Validation is being seen. It's being understood. It's being accepted for who you are, not just what you perform.

• 15:45John R. Miles?

  Think about that for a second. How often do we chase applause when what we're really searching for is acceptance? How often do we polish the facade when what we really need is for someone to look us in the eye and say, "I see you. You matter." Open empathy is the antidote, and it starts with us, with opening ourselves to others and opening ourselves to our own needs. Because empathy that isn't open isn't empathy at all. It's control. So let me ask you this. Where in your life are you chasing praise instead of offering validation?

• 16:30John R. Miles?

  And who in your world needs you to see them more clearly, more deeply? That's the second foundation of the living code. O is for open empathy. Now, we've just explored the two first foundations of the living code, core values and open empathy. But we're only halfway there. After the break, I'll share the final two pillars, practices that are absolutely essential if we want to live lives that not only look strong, but actually endure. If you've been finding value in our conversations or our solo episodes, one of the best ways that you can support the show is leaving a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• 17:14John R. Miles?

  It helps more people discover the Passion Struck Podcast and allows us to keep growing this movement. So stay with me. We'll be right back after this message from our sponsors.

• 17:28John R. Miles?

  Welcome back to Passion Struck. Before the break, we explored the first two foundations of the living code: core values and open empathy. Together, they form the roots of connection that anchor our humanity. Now, let's turn to the third foundation, one that's often ignored in our culture, but is absolutely essential if we want to weather life's storms, and that's deep rest. The third foundation of the living code is deep rest. There's a line in Psalm 23, verse 2, that says, "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul."

• 18:10John R. Miles?

  I love that image because it reminds us of something that we often resist. We have to be made to rest. We don't drift into it naturally. We fight it. We see rest as a form of weakness, as wasted time. Yet, the ancient wisdom is clear: restoration is not optional. It's essential. And if you think about your own life, isn't that so true? How often have you tried to push through exhaustion, to grind harder, believing that productivity will carry you, only to find yourself more depleted, more brittle, more fragile, when the storm eventually comes? Here's what neuroscience tells us:

• 18:53John R. Miles?

  When we rest, truly rest, our brains aren't idle. They're actually repairing. They're consolidating memory. They're literally clearing toxins that build up during the day. Bruce Miller explained that sleep deprivation doesn't just make us tired. It accelerates cognitive decline. Without deep rest, the very system that anchors our values and our empathy begins to falter. But deep rest isn't just about sleep. It's about margin. It's about rhythm. It's about creating green pastures and quiet waters in our own lives, places where our nervous system can reset, where our souls can breathe.

• 19:37John R. Miles?

  The truth is, so many of us are building our lives like overworked machines. We keep running the programs, ignoring the warning signs, until something breaks. But life wasn't meant to be endured this way. It's made to be lived in cycles of work and restoration. So let me ask you this. Where in your life are you running on fumes? And what would it look like this week to choose restoration instead of exhaustion? Because that's the third foundation of the living code. D is for deep rest. Not laziness, not escape, but the intentional practice of renewal.

• 20:18John R. Miles?

  So that when the storm does come, we have the strength to endure it. And that brings us to the fourth foundation of the living code. Embodied practices. There's an old Buddhist saying, to know and not to do is not to know. And I think that captures what we all wrestle with within. We know fundamentally what would help us. To move our bodies, to breathe deeply, to pray, to journal, to sit in silence, to share honestly. But too often, that knowledge stays in our heads. It never moves into our bodies. And here's the thing, transformation doesn't happen in theory. I say this all the time.

• 21:02John R. Miles?

  When I tell you, don't just listen to this podcast. I want you to put into action the things that we talk about on the show. I want you to repeat it, to embody it. That's why I created the Substack. That's why I give you workbooks and guides for every single episode. To put what you hear into practice. And it's not just about podcasts. Think about athletes. They don't just read about their sport. They train, they practice, they sweat, they rehearse the same movements until it becomes muscle memory. Or think about musicians. Mastery isn't built in the abstract. It's built in the hours of embodied practice.

• 21:45John R. Miles?

  Our lives are no different without embodied practices. Our values remain ideas. Our empathy remains sentiment. Our rest remains wishful thinking. Embodiment is what translates belief into being. And neuroscience echoes this truth. The more we practice a behavior. Mindfulness, gratitude, compassion, physical movement. The more those neural pathways strengthen, our brains literally rewire to reflect what our bodies consistently do. That's why embodiment practices matter so much. They bring coherence between what we say we believe and how we actually live. They are the daily rituals that reinforce the foundation.

• 22:30John R. Miles?

  So let me ask you, what practices are you embodying right now? Are they leading you closer to the person that you want to become or farther away? Because the final piece of the living code is E for embodied practices. Not concepts, not intentions, but lived rituals that shape us into who we are meant to be. So here's a big idea from today's conversation. If you want to transform your life, you have to rewrite your living code. That starts with core values. Aligning your life with meaning. Open empathy, fueling your system with connection and validation. Deep rest, honoring sleep and renewal as essential.

• 23:14John R. Miles?

  And embodied practices, integrating body, mind, and spirit daily. That's the living code. That's the rock beneath the house. And it brings us full circle, back to the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew. "Two builders, two houses, same storm. One stood, the other collapsed. The difference wasn't in the storm, it was in the foundation." So here's my challenge to you. Run a systems check this week. Ask yourself, what letter of the living code do I need to upgrade the most right now? And what's one action that you can take today to strengthen that foundation? Because the storms will come.

• 23:59John R. Miles?

  The question isn't if. The question is, will your life stand on sand or will it stand on rock? Because real transformation isn't about impressing others or stacking hacks. It's about recoding your humanity. And that's where we'll leave it for today. Remember, the foundation matters so much more than the facade. Recode your humanity by living your code. Core values: open empathy, deep rest, and embodied practices. Next week on Decoding Humanity, we're going to turn the theme towards trauma and recovery. I'll be joined by Dr. Ingrid Clayton, who's going to unpack for us the concept of fawning,

• 24:42John R. Miles?

  a survival response that many of us carry without even realizing it. It's an eye-opening conversation about hidden trauma, healing, and reclaiming your sense of self. In this following Friday, I'll be back with another solo episode. I'm calling it "Invisible Trauma: Hidden Healing", where I'll take that theme even deeper. But here's what I want you to hear the most. Listening is only part of the journey. The real transformation, as I explained today, comes when you apply what you hear. That's why I'd love to invite you into my community on theignitedlife.net. For every solo episode, I publish a companion post, and this one will include a free workbook that's going to help you run your own systems check

• 25:25John R. Miles?

  and begin upgrading your code in practical ways. So if today's episode resonated with you, don't just move on to the next thing. Join me at the Ignited Life. Take the next step and start applying the living code in your own life. And stay tuned, because I've got a big announcement coming up. I cannot wait to share it with you. Until then, live intentionally, love with empathy, keep building the rock, and keep becoming passion-struck.