⚽ A Whole New Ball Game ⚽

Sutton and Shearer. Heskey and Owen. Yeboah and Masinga. The history of football is dominated by great duos who elevated and transformed the game... With that in mind, welcome to Footballing Hell... where the duo you know and love undo all that heritage with their footballing knowledge, as every Monday Rob and Josh discuss the weekends football (or the bits that interest them) in the only way they know how. Chaotically, with not enough sleep, prep or insight... Why football? Why now? We hear you ask... “Finally we can bring our unique brand of unprofessionalism, distractedness and inability to get things right to the until now slick and professional world of football pods. Get ready for no tactical analysis, zero discussion of VAR and a surprisingly high level of Neil Warnock chat. For people who find other football pods too informed.” - Josh Widdicombe "After 6 years of discussing my wife and children on Parenting Hell it's such a liberating feeling to finally have a podcast where I chat about something I truly love and care about in football" - Rob Beckett In the first ever episode we discuss... Plymouth versus Exeter The Milk Cup / What is Caribou? / Neil Warnock's hair / Community shield (one of us didn't watch it) / What’s the sexy Nigerian Gk been up to? / Predictions for the season including who will win what cups and finish where? / FPL team - join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [email protected] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. Footballing Hell is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision.

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• 1:41Speaker 06

  Hello and welcome to Footballing Hell with

• 1:47Speaker 06

  Rob Beckett and Josh Whittaker. Oh, here we go. Oh, here we go.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  So here's the way we're going to start the show. I'm going to get a footballer each week and you've got to tell me who it is.

• 1:56Speaker 06

  Oh my word. Should we not explain what the show is first?

• 2:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:01Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  Let's just stick to the quick intro.

• 2:04Speaker 06

  We'll hear it again then.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  Basically, each week on this show, it's our football podcast show. You're going to do the intro and I'm going to play a footballer saying our names. You only get to hear it twice.

• 2:15Speaker 06

  Rob Beckett and Josh Whittaker. David James.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  Rio Ferdinand.

• 2:21Speaker 06

  Well, there you go.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Do you like this?

• 2:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, I do. I'm in a WhatsApp group with Rio Ferdinand.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Are you? What for?

• 2:28Speaker 06

  It's, it's a classic WhatsApp group, Rob. It's, it's me, Rio Ferdinand, Sarah Cox, Johnny Peacock, the Paralympian.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Is this when you did some sort of sport relief charity thing?

• 2:40Speaker 06

  We did the Crystal Maze together.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Lovely. Right. Okay. So you explain what the show is, but that's how we're going to start it.

• 2:52Speaker 06

  So do not worry if you're a Parenting Hell listener at all. In fact, this is good news if you're a Parenting Hell listener. Parenting Hell will remain exactly the same Tuesday and Friday, but we just thought we'd do something extra and it would stop us talking about football during Parenting Hell. Rob, the floor is yours.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Yes. So nothing in these episodes will be talking about our children, our parenting, our wives.

• 3:17Speaker 06

  Well, it might be because we can't keep track of anything.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  If you are a Parenting Hell listener, feel free to listen to this as well, but

• 3:23Speaker 06

  We'd love you to.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'd be great actually. Or even if you don't like it, just sort of play it in the background on you.

• 3:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Numbers do help.

• 3:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  And yeah, so basically we're going to have this every week as an extra, but we're not going to be talking about, it's basically a place where me and Josh can talk about something that we really love and care about.

• 3:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, because we felt finally we've earned it.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Because after talking about our wife and kids, you know, you do sort of need to, you know, be able to talk passionately about something,

• 3:54Speaker 03

  about something you really care about, which is football. So this will just be football and nothing else to do with our lives.

• 4:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, well, if you're across the football podcast realm, you might have noticed that it's, it's slick. It's being sold to Netflix. It's being sold to Disney. It's mega stars talking about tactics and how they understand football and football as they know.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:20Speaker 06

  We thought we might try to do the exact opposite of that and bring the Parenting Hell

• 4:27Speaker 06

  shambles, lack of professionalism, lack of knowledge.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Lack of respect.

• 4:31Speaker 06

  Lack of respect. And the best kind of anecdotes will be about the Crystal Maze. It's that kind of thing.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  We, we hope to offer absolutely zero insight into formations, tactics, inverted, all that bollocks.

• 4:44Speaker 06

  Five nines.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  XG, all that shit.

• 4:47Speaker 06

  VAR, whether it was offside or not, I don't know. I don't really understand the handball rule, if I'm honest with you these days.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  We're more here for the soap opera, the drama. I want to talk about Sucker's new haircut.

• 5:01Speaker 06

  Haircuts, clothes.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Clothes.

• 5:05Speaker 06

  Silly names.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Documentary. Silly na- silly names?

• 5:08Speaker 06

  I don't mind a silly name, Rob.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  I think it's a tightrope there, isn't it?

• 5:13Speaker 06

  It's dead. Silly English names.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  We've got the Chinese national team at charge. No, that's.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  So this is a football show for football fans that haven't got links to the club. We're not, I say that, I mean, you know, because if you listen to other football ones, they're all like, you know, when I was there with Fergie and all that. But you are, Josh, the, I saw on the TV, the Plymouth, you're the Plymouth ambassador.

• 5:44Speaker 06

  No, well, I'm not, but I went to Plymouth for Exeter, the curtain raiser for the season, which you might know as the A38 Derby, Rob.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. South Devon Derby, isn't it?

• 5:54Speaker 06

  South Devon. Well, it depends. Devon Expressway Derby, some people call it.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Is that the A38? That is, that's St. Hendroad.

• 6:00Speaker 06

  No, that's the A303. This is the kind of stuff we'll be throwing out there.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 6:05Speaker 06

  You do not get that on Stick to Football.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Well, their driver would be driving them down anyway, wouldn't they, Josh?

• 6:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, exactly.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Not like you on the train, like a real fan.

• 6:15Speaker 06

  Exactly. Yeah. Bloody hell, getting tinnies on the train. Tinnison Pellegrino, but still.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Also, is it a bit frowned upon to live in Exeter and be a Plymouth fan? Because I know an Exeter fan that refuses to drive through Plymouth or drive around it.

• 6:29Speaker 06

  That's insane.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Hmm, football, hey.

• 6:32Speaker 06

  But that's, is that not just traffic? It'd be insane to drive through Plymouth. You might as well.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  One of them, like, they'll avoid it at all costs.

• 6:40Speaker 06

  Okay, well, then he just needs to realise that football doesn't matter as much as he thinks it does.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  Why, don't say that. It's a football, football podcast. It's all that matters.

• 6:51Speaker 06

  If you're rerouting your journey, because what, what difference is it going to make if you drive through Plymouth? The reason I live in Exeter rather than Plymouth, Rob, and I hate to say it. Exeter's nice.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:06Speaker 06

  Whisper it.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you're the ambassador for Plymouth.

• 7:10Speaker 06

  I'm not an ambassador for Plymouth.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  It said on Sky Sports.

• 7:13Speaker 06

  I'm a Plymouth fan. So I went to Exeter v Plymouth. I had the night of my life. We drew each other in the first round of the Carabao Cup. Yeah. It is still the Carabao Cup, I think. Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  So it's like the league.

• 7:24Speaker 06

  I don't think, I don't think Carabao's got the bonus off it because I don't think anyone's ever had a Carabao in their life.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  I mean, I forgot it's even a drink.

• 7:32Speaker 06

  I know. It's mental. They're spending all their money on the Carabao Cup. No one's ever had a can of it.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Why do they, what drinks companies do love sponsoring it? Is it because they think, oh, cup, you need that to drink? Like Milk Cup. Was it Milk?

• 7:48Speaker 06

  Well, the Milk Cup, but to be fair, Milk cut through.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Did Milk sponsor it?

• 7:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  But who's in charge of Milk?

• 7:55Speaker 06

  Just the cows. I don't, the Milk Marketing Board, I suppose.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  No, but that must be like, yeah, but there is a, a professional body that's in charge of the PR of Milk.

• 8:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, because they would have done the Ian Rush at Quinton Stanley, it's what Ian Rush drinks, Milk advert as well.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Not with that tash. The last thing you need. Louis Pasteur sitting under his nose.

• 8:17Speaker 06

  Good reference.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 8:19Speaker 06

  What are you looking at on your phone?

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Well, at the moment I've just Googled Milk and it's not really giving me what I wanted, but

• 8:28Speaker 03

  just loads of white pictures.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Do you know what I hate? And I will keep this linear, Michael. You know, cream jugs that you pour and the mouth of the, it's a cow and it's like a gravy boat or a cream jugs and the mouth's the animal. Because it looks like it's been sick on your dinner.

• 8:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Anyway, how, so are you an ambassador or not?

• 8:52Speaker 06

  No. So I, I went to Torquay v Plymouth as a preseason friendly.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 06

  As a guest of Charlie Baker, Torquay fan. And we got to go in the Torquay box because Charlie's a big wheel at Torquay.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  I don't want to start sort of podcast, football fan, you know, it's quite heated rivalry. Torquay box.

• 9:12Speaker 06

  I had a brilliant time at Torquay, right?

• 9:14Speaker 03

  But what do they have a box?

• 9:15Speaker 06

  I would say the

• 9:17Speaker 03

  A corporate box?

• 9:18Speaker 06

  The corporate experience at Plymouth is, is, is higher level.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  I'll, I'm going to just Google Torquay box.

• 9:27Speaker 06

  You can't just spend the whole time Googling stuff, Rob.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Well, how will I know what I'm, what I'm saying?

• 9:31Speaker 06

  Roy Keane is never Googling when Gary Neville's talking about, you know.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, but then sometimes, yeah, but we're not, that's not what we're doing here, is it?

• 9:41Speaker 03

  It's actually quite a nice box.

• 9:43Speaker 06

  Yeah, it is. You get padded seats, you get everything. We got, guess what we had for our meal?

• 9:50Speaker 03

  So this was the Torquay Plymouth preseason, not the, and you was in a corporate box for?

• 9:55Speaker 06

  Oh, we had a, we had a pizza box of chips. That's what we were brought for our meal.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  In Torquay?

• 10:00Speaker 06

  Yeah. Great, great times.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  A pizza box full of chips?

• 10:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  A big flat pizza box?

• 10:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, full of chips.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  That's met now. Just chips? Why have our pizza box?

• 10:12Speaker 06

  Well, my dad was with me. He asked for chips.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:15Speaker 06

  And I asked for pizza. So I had a pizza and then next to it, there was two pizza boxes. So I was like, oh, they've brought two pizzas here. Open up the second pizza box. Chips and chips.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 10:24Speaker 06

  Yeah. Anyway, our CEO, he was there. He said, oh, if you want to come to Argyle anytime, give me a text. So I was like, Argyle v Exeter, first game of the season. That's the big derby. We're not in the same division, but we drew each other in the Carabao Cup.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:39Speaker 06

  Give them a shout out, the lads and lasses at Carabao.

• 10:47Speaker 06

  So I went corporate.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  So desperate to Google Carabao.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna know.

• 10:54Speaker 06

  So I went corporate there and I also, Neil Warnock was there. Have you ever seen Neil Warnock's hair up close, Rob?

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Um, no, I haven't actually. Go on.

• 11:04Speaker 06

  It's absolutely incredible. So I would say I've never seen anything like it and I never will. So he's, I don't know, he's in his seventies.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  If I thought I wanted to Google Carabao now, all I want is, so talk me through Warnock's head.

• 11:22Speaker 06

  Okay, so he's got a thick head of hair.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  Loads of hair, real hair, his hair.

• 11:26Speaker 06

  Real hair.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Thick, yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 06

  But he's gone bald, right?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 06

  On the sides.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  No, that doesn't exist.

• 11:34Speaker 06

  So he's going bald from the side burns up.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  No way. Right. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to go in on Google. I'm sorry.

• 11:40Speaker 06

  And it's not just bald. You know, like a bald man's head where it's shiny. So it's shiny on the side. It's incredible.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  No way. Oh my God, it is, isn't it? He looks like he's sort of had a fade.

• 11:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  So he's going, he's going bald.

• 11:54Speaker 06

  So much people go bald from up the top down. He's going bald from the bottom up.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  So it looks like he's put his head out of a really windy window and it's just blown it all off like.

• 12:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, that is, the, the side profile of that is, yeah, so he's got loads at the back and the.

• 12:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, and the top.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  I've never seen hair like that.

• 12:13Speaker 06

  No, it's brilliant. So I had a little chat to Neil Warnock. Didn't mention the hair.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  No, you actually hammered him on here though.

• 12:19Speaker 06

  No, I'm.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Now, if you're gonna Google anything so far, I'd say Neil Warnock's hair, it, it should be above milk and Carabao.

• 12:25Speaker 06

  Okay, yeah, yeah, fine, yeah.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  If, if you're like on the train and you're thinking, I've only got three Google searches today.

• 12:32Speaker 06

  By the way, it was a great game. We won in the last minute.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  I watched it. It was, that defending from Exeter was, it was like.

• 12:38Speaker 06

  Well, they had a player that they'd signed that day from Wolves who came on, got two yellow cards and got sent off.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Well, they, they've got not much budget, have they?

• 12:49Speaker 06

  No.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Exeter, because they're fan owned.

• 12:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  So they're like, they've just been demoted.

• 12:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. So they're in League Two, we're in League One. We won in the last minute, but anyway, um, they cut to me in the crowd and Sky put on Plymouth ambassador and comedian Josh Riddick.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  I'd take podcaster TV host now, wouldn't you? When's your next comedy gig?

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Show them, don't tell them, Josh.

• 13:20Speaker 06

  So that was fun. That was fun. To show, to show people, we're mainly, we're gonna be talking about what we want to talk about, which is mainly, let's be honest, the Premier League. But I will be giving updates from the lower leagues, Plymouth are in League One.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Well, that's the thing, because basically the show will be a recap of the weekend's football. This obviously is before most of the games have started, the Championship and the lower leagues have started. Premier League's next week, so this is more of a preview of the season ep, but normally it'll be us looking at what's happened. Um, so for people that don't know, I'm an Arsenal fan, but also have soft spots for Bromley.

• 13:53Speaker 06

  Yeah, who are already three points clear of Plymouth after we lost on the first day of the league season, you won.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  They're doing well. They've just been promoted to League One. Also quite like, um, Crystal Palace as a local team. And Coventry, I've got a soft spot for, because they're back in the Premier League and a good friend of mine's a massive Coventry fan. So I'll be keeping an eye on them and you're Plymouth, obviously.

• 14:14Speaker 06

  I'm Plymouth and my main Premier League feelings are driven by hatred.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  So I, I'm not a, a talk sporty kind of football fan that.

• 14:24Speaker 06

  No.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Is obsessed with my club. I, I, I really enjoy a big club being shit, whether that's Tottenham or Man United.

• 14:32Speaker 06

  By hatred, I mean, I just want the, I'm, I just want the big teams to lose, really. That's what I'm saying.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  Speaking to Lou about this the other day, it's basically for me, I, I absolutely love football because it's the only thing in my life that has actual structure.

• 14:46Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  I know that there's games on at Saturday, then Sunday, and I can build my week around it and my weekend around it. And I love it. I love football. I do have a concern about this podcast.

• 14:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  I don't think you like football as much as me. I, I think you're gonna wanna talk about Ian Rush, uh, Steve Stone, Steve Staunton.

• 15:09Speaker 06

  Footballer.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Current football, because it was a Community Shield yesterday.

• 15:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  And I actually, I was supposed to be going around Tom Allen's for a rotisserie chicken and I said, I can get to your 4.35.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. I just, if I'm gonna suck him off, I just said I'm gonna suck him off.

• 15:25Speaker 06

  Okay, fine, just to be clear.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  So I went around for a rotisserie chicken. It weren't ready yet, so I sucked him off. Then he put it on the barbecue. But you wasn't watching the Community Shield. Now, if for someone that loves football, as you say, and the next day is about to launch a new football podcast.

• 15:42Speaker 06

  Oh, here we go. Don't come here with homework, Rob.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Because you know, no, come on. I'm just saying, I found it quite shocking that you weren't even watching it.

• 15:51Speaker 06

  You were a bit shocked, so.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  It's a season opener. Now, do you actually like football?

• 15:55Speaker 06

  Plymouth had played Exeter six days earlier. That's the season opener.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Again, fuck off Championship. If you, football doesn't start until the Premier League, i- i- until the Premier League starts. Well, whatever the fuck you are, all I'm saying is, if you, if you've got a problem with me saying football hasn't started yet, get fucking promoted. I don't care if fucking Burnley, West Ham's on at fuck, fuck you. Premier League's where it's at. That's what I care about. I will, obviously we'll talk about the lower leagues, but.

• 16:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Football properly doesn't start until the Premier League kicks off.

• 16:25Speaker 06

  Yeah. Okay. So I think the thing I like the least about football.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:32Speaker 06

  Is watching the matches.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  Okay. Well, thank you. This has been a great series. Um, we'll wrap it there. Thanks for listening. We'll be back Tuesday, Friday, our normal parent.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  The least enjoyable thing about parenting for me is being with my children.

• 16:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, I've met some people that say that, to be fair.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  We've interviewed most of them. Okay, so, right, talk me through, what is it you like about football?

• 17:01Speaker 06

  No, I do like the matches, but I, so to be honest, I like the soap opera. I like the transfer gossip. I like the reading about, you know, it or watching. Do you know what I really liked in the World Cup? Those eight minutes highlights were just, just perfect for me.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that was enough for you.

• 17:23Speaker 06

  That was just, just perfect for me. Now, I'd, but I think, I think my attention span has gone with parenting and my phone. And so a full game is tough. I was managing it in the World Cup.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  How did you find it live in person at Plymouth Exeter?

• 17:40Speaker 06

  Well, I spent a lot of time looking at Neil Warnock's hair because I sat behind him.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  So was it like in real time, moving backwards?

• 17:48Speaker 06

  What, the hair?

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, was it, could you see like the odd strands dropping out?

• 17:52Speaker 06

  No, no, you couldn't. No, no, it was.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Let us know if you, you know, favourite bald footballers would be great or bald, Zidane's got me up there.

• 18:00Speaker 06

  Oh, we'd also, we do want to, um, Lombardo, surely. Um, we want, we do want your emails, uh, [email protected].

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, footballing hell podcast.

• 18:11Speaker 06

  Podcast at gmail.com.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  And we are on Instagram and TikTok at footballing hell.

• 18:15Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Right, we got, we do have a bit, because it's a preview and sort of telling people what the show's about.

• 18:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, let's start, let's go, let's start with the Community Shield and then we'll work down through what we think is gonna happen this season with the major clubs.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Right. Uh, can I be honest? Don't we have much to say about the game?

• 18:33Speaker 06

  Imagine how I feel.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  Well, so the game.

• 18:41Speaker 06

  After 24 seconds.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  Oh no, but I couldn't fucking log in because I, don't get me, right. I don't, this may impact advertising opportunities, but we're gonna have to be honest here. I can't work out where any of the football is. I try so hard. Well, it's so, no, obviously football's on lots of different apps. So there's, it's on Sky Sports, TNT. I think some of it's on Amazon. I don't know where else it is for this season.

• 19:06Speaker 06

  When it's on Amazon, I feel, I feel like, what's going on? I've, I've got Amazon, but it throws me. Do you know what I mean?

• 19:13Speaker 03

  And then I'm just like, oh, I'm just gonna select it like I'm watching like Rivals, what? And it's there and on it.

• 19:19Speaker 06

  I don't know what's happening.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  I like TNT Sport. I, I, I love.

• 19:23Speaker 06

  So was it on TNT yesterday?

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Yes, and I love, a big fan of TNT Sport. I went to the TNT Sport, um, rap party, didn't I last? Because when I went out for the Champions League, I ended up on the piss at the TNT Sports.

• 19:36Speaker 06

  Of course.

• 19:37Speaker 03

  Rap party for no reason other than I was there on my own.

• 19:39Speaker 06

  And you were like, maybe if you did a bit less drinking and a bit more working on where to find your football on your, on your app.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  I've done a bit of research. Basically, I think TNT Sport have been bought by someone, but they've also bought Eurosport, so.

• 19:51Speaker 06

  Didn't they buy BT Sport or did they just rename?

• 19:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, they bought, TNT bought BT. I've got, um, subscriptions to all of the sport because I love football, right? I actually love it and watch it, so.

• 20:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Um, I tried to find a game. You can't watch TNT on Sky Go. Fair enough.

• 20:11Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Went to my TNT app, doesn't exist. Then I remember, oh yeah, I'm on Discovery Plus now for some reason.

• 20:18Speaker 06

  What's on Discovery Plus?

• 20:19Speaker 03

  All of the TNT Sport games.

• 20:21Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's why, um, Mo the Week get quite good tickets, like Dara gets quite good tickets.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Because TNT.

• 20:32Speaker 06

  Because TNT.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  So you got a message from, from asking you to go on the week, I think in 2006. What's that?

• 20:39Speaker 06

  It was my weekly screen report. I don't know why it came up like that.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  Anyway, yeah, so I think TLC, which show Mo the Week is owned by this guy.

• 20:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  So I went to Discovery Plus and at this point, I'm like, I log in, I log in finally after trying to remember all my logins. And they went, oh no, you don't need, you need HBO Max now. I'm like.

• 20:58Speaker 06

  What? It's not the fucking Zopranos?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  The Zopranos in 2004. So anyway, I've got, it's fine. I've worked it out now, but I didn't know, but I think, I feel like I need a little bit more of, like, I'm, I've, honestly, last week, I have not thought about buying a disposable barbecue in 10 years. All of a sudden, emergency alert, like we're getting drone striked.

• 21:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  However, I'd rather Andy Burnham drop me a message going, heads up guys, next week the football's back. If you're in TNT Sport, make sure you've got HBO Max downloading. So I missed the goal because I was trying to find HBO Max. I've got it now. I'm on, I'm sorted, but I just, I just need a bit more of an heads up that you can't keep moving like this. It's shape shift. Surely just go from TNT to HBO. What's this, what's this, what is Discovery Plus?

• 21:44Speaker 06

  I thought Discovery was like documentaries about rock formations and stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like a doc, like.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Let you know, I'm logged in.

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  Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 on your first campaign and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com/campaign. Terms and conditions apply. So I've got it, but I got, I missed a goal, but Arsenal look really good.

• 23:27Speaker 06

  Arsenal gonna win the, let's, let's do some analysis.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  Okay, come on, let's get, I don't want, I can't do analysis. Okay, I think Saka looks like he's better now he's got cornrows. He looks more over-overtimeic.

• 23:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  I like that. Um, we've got a Greek player that I was a bit worried about saying his name, but luckily you just don't say the T in his name, Solis.

• 23:47Speaker 06

  Right, okay, yeah, yeah, nice.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Because I did knock out a few Tassolis, you know, but you do really need the first few weeks of the football season to rely on the pronunciation of names from the commentator.

• 23:58Speaker 06

  I think when they, when they do transfer news on BBC or wherever you read it, they need to put in brackets if it was a player people don't know, pronounced thingy. Arsenal have signed, in brackets, pronounced and then written right phonetically.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  I think that's a good, and also give me the age, because every time I read a news report about transfer and they go like 80 million, four years, blah, blah, blah, I'm like, I've got no context. Is he 24 or 34?

• 24:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Give me some fucking numbers so I know if this is good or bad news.

• 24:32Speaker 06

  Yeah. Do you, are you feeling confident with Arsenal?

• 24:36Speaker 03

  So are we, is this, are we sliding into predictions world?

• 24:39Speaker 06

  I think we are because we've got not much more to say about the Community Shield, have we?

• 24:42Speaker 03

  No, Arsenal look really good. Man City looks a bit shit.

• 24:45Speaker 06

  Well, the only other thing I want to say about the Community Shield, Rob, because we do need to discuss it, is...

• 24:51Speaker 03

  What impact is it having in the community?

• 24:54Speaker 03

  In real terms, let's talk.

• 24:56Speaker 06

  Is it sponsored by the community in the same way Milk sponsored the cup?

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Guys, I think as the community, as the head of the group that represents the community, we really need to make the most of this like the Milk did, because look, look in your fridge, there's milk.

• 25:11Speaker 06

  There's milk.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  It worked.

• 25:14Speaker 06

  Can we talk about how much Enzo Maresca looks like Pep Guardiola?

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not, it's not okay.

• 25:20Speaker 06

  I don't think, I don't, I think that's got to be a reason you don't employ him because it's weird.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  But also he was there as an assistant for years, looking exactly like him. And now he's just sort of taken over.

• 25:31Speaker 06

  It's, it's too creepy. It's like a kind of Netflix documentary where someone takes on someone else's identity and replaces them and they've murdered them.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  But also it reminds the players of the like, the best manager of all time they had.

• 25:45Speaker 06

  I wrote something interesting about Maresca.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 06

  Because I didn't realise he's a super, super intense guy. So everything's really intense. Loads of, they get homework over international breaks.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  No, homework, like what?

• 25:59Speaker 06

  Like watch these videos and learn about these players and all that kind of stuff.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  God, it's painful, isn't it?

• 26:04Speaker 06

  And, um, the, he's got a rule that when, I mean, didn't come into play yesterday, but when they score, um, the captain's not allowed to celebrate. He has to go straight to Maresca and be briefed on the tactics after the goal.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Right, so I saw this actually, Arsenal scored and I was like, oh wicked, it was a good goal, sun's out, beating Man City 2 or 3-0. It cut to Arteta, I thought he might be celebrating. He's just shouting at David Raya, the goalkeeper.

• 26:30Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  Who's got great hair, but talking of hair, seen his new, oh.

• 26:33Speaker 06

  I've not seen his new hair.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  I love footballers' hair.

• 26:36Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's so good. One of my favourite footballers' hair things was during lockdown when they'd all obviously got their hair cut and they were pretending they'd done it themselves.

• 26:45Speaker 03

  Terrible fades by the, or terrible fades by their partners.

• 26:48Speaker 06

  Oh my word, yeah, he's got a lovely, he's got a lovely, he's got a ponytail with a bit out the bottom.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Oh, I said to Lou as well, Lou, would you listen to the football, if we did football in hell, would you listen to it? She went, yeah, but I'd sort of need updates on the people I liked.

• 27:01Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  I was like, so she wants to know what's happening with Jude Bellingham.

• 27:04Speaker 06

  Okay, Jude Bellingham is at Real Madrid, who have got a fascinating season coming up. Because they've been taken over by, um, Jose Mourinho's been reappointed as manager.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  Great documentary.

• 27:17Speaker 06

  Hasn't done anything for 15 years. I've known, 10 years, 10 years.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Well, he's, the documentary about him is amazing, even if, um, you're not a massive football fan, he is a completely nuts.

• 27:29Speaker 06

  He is mental.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  They just have, you have to be that insane to, like, that intense to say that, because it consumes your whole, I hate to be a manager.

• 27:39Speaker 06

  Oh, being a manager is rubbish.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Why are you coming for Jose? Look, Josh, it's a long career. Is there times you go on a panel show and you're not, you know, Chelsea 2014, 15?

• 27:50Speaker 06

  You know, well, I know, I know, but he is quite a nasty piece of work.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, he doesn't come across well in it.

• 27:59Speaker 06

  Does he not? Oh, I will watch it then.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  For fuck's sake, for fuck, Michael, can we have a quick, can we, right, we've just, I've just, we just conceded. I'm going to the captain, Michael, but I'm the captain, Michael's the manager. We have, need to have a quick chat about.

• 28:14Speaker 06

  That's when we scored, that's.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Well, I think whatever we've just done, Michael, we need to have a catch up here because this bloke has not watched the Mourinho documentary. How has he not seen that or have you watched it?

• 28:23Speaker 06

  I was watching, I watched The Bus. Have you watched The Bus?

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Of course you did, because it was about the 90s.

• 28:29Speaker 06

  No, it wasn't, it was about 2010. Jose Mourinho's.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  That's still 16 years ago.

• 28:35Speaker 06

  Tell that to Jose Mourinho, mate. He hasn't won a trophy in 10 years.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, but he is the Real Madrid manager.

• 28:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, well.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  And yeah, so Jude Bellingham's at Real Madrid.

• 28:43Speaker 06

  We're gonna keep our eyes on Real Madrid because I think it's gonna absolutely go off.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  She wants to know what's happening with the Nigerian goalkeeper she fancied for the World Cup?

• 28:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, I can't help you on that, Lou.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  And Grealish, Grealish played for Man City off the bench.

• 28:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, because he was at Everton. Yeah, but I think he's, I thought he was going to Everton, but I think he's still at Man City.

• 29:02Speaker 06

  Do let us know your favourite footballer's haircuts of all time, because that's the kind of thing we're more interested in.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  A hundred percent, yeah, I don't care.

• 29:08Speaker 06

  And if you could update us on the Nigerian goalkeeper, that'd be great.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  One thing I want to get from this podcast is the complete banning of any mention of XG in football forever. Now, XG is this mass bollocks that was invented by suits to try and get some sort of control of the game. I spoke to an XG expert. Basically, XG is a mathematical equation that a footballer might score or a team might score and is complete bollocks because none of the data incorporates the human element of if someone slept well, family problems at home, what they're eating, what they're drinking, that none of that is involved. It's actually positioning on a pitch and it's fucking bullshit and I want to get rid of it. And also I want to start playing football where there's a big long ball, massive bloke up top, esky, heads it down, throwing.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  That's what I want back in football. I don't want passing.

• 30:00Speaker 06

  I asked, how's the Community Shield? And you said there's too much passing.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  Oh, fucking pass, it's boring, isn't it? Pass, I would have passed it a bit.

• 30:07Speaker 06

  I love passing.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  You love passing?

• 30:09Speaker 06

  Well, I.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  How do you know? You haven't watched, you haven't watched football in 25 years?

• 30:13Speaker 06

  I have, I watched the World Cup final, it was pure passing, just Spain passing forward and back.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  I watched the World Cup final, I'm a big athletics fan, I watch the 100 metres every four years and I love rugby. When John, I saw the Jonny Wilkinson game where he kicked it in to win the World Cup.

• 30:32Speaker 06

  I've watched, I'd say 70% of the World Cup and there was a lot of passing.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  There was less passing in the World Cup than Premier League, I think.

• 30:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, well, because they're not as well drilled in the World Cup, are they? They haven't had the time on the pitch.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Right, no, I like a little bit of, you know.

• 30:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think the World Cup's better than the Premier League because it's, it's A, more even because you can't buy your way into having a good team. You're always going to have a shit player.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  You buy the refs though, you buy the refs, you know what I'm saying?

• 31:00Speaker 06

  Oh, here we go, here we go.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Do you know what? I do understand, I quite like, you know, the European Super League.

• 31:05Speaker 06

  Yeah, right.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Don't mind it.

• 31:09Speaker 06

  Can I be honest?

• 31:10Speaker 03

  God, talk to me.

• 31:11Speaker 06

  I, I, I want to lead the charge for the European Super League.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Is that a little bit, do people, do football fans want that?

• 31:17Speaker 06

  Can I, can I justify it?

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Go on. So this is where there's a, a new league beyond the Premier League that has about six teams from the Premier League in it every week. So it's basically creates another level.

• 31:27Speaker 06

  Here's my idea, here's my idea, right? Listen to this theory on the European Super League. A, there's loads of European leagues which are basically pointless because one team's much better than the rest. Germany, France, or two.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  England's probably the most competitive, isn't it?

• 31:45Speaker 06

  Scotland, there's only two teams that can win it, even last year. Spain, there's only two teams that can win it, um, et cetera, right?

• 31:54Speaker 03

  So I love it when someone says et cetera, you seem so pleased with yourself. I've done all my, I've done, I've done all my examples. I think that's enough, but if not, here's a bit of et cetera for you.

• 32:05Speaker 06

  Yeah, probably Ajax, but I don't follow it.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  This is where Michael tells us I haven't won the league in 52 years. You remember Johan Cruyff.

• 32:15Speaker 06

  Yeah. Right. The best games are always the Champions League games. Bayern Munich versus PSG last year, et cetera.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Et cetera.

• 32:25Speaker 06

  Et cetera. Right. I'd have a European Super League of 20 teams. I'd have a European Super League Division Two of 20 teams.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Oh my god, double, yeah, okay.

• 32:35Speaker 06

  And then they get relegated back into their national leagues.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  That's C Sean.

• 32:40Speaker 06

  Promotion and relegation from the national leagues, then the Premier League will be more exciting because it would start about Brighton.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 06

  And below, but they're playing for the chance.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  To get in the European Super League.

• 32:51Speaker 06

  And then everyone wins their leagues and they have a little play off and then maybe the best four teams go up and the other team, worst four teams relegate down. And it's so, it just becomes a more of a pyramid. I'm not saying a breakaway league.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  No, you needed just another pyramid.

• 33:07Speaker 06

  Another, a total pyramid.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  A total, because with the proposal a few years ago, there was no relegation, was there?

• 33:14Speaker 06

  And it would be brilliant.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  It would work. If you can get relegated promoted, I'm in.

• 33:19Speaker 06

  Yeah. And bear in mind this, say they announce it at the start of the season and they go, the five teams from the Premier League that would have made the Champions League are gonna be the founding members of the European Super League. How good that season will be because there is so much at stake.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Yes, they'll go mad, yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 06

  And also you're basically the last ever proper Premier League champions.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Okay. I think it's gonna be hard to convince the whole footballing world this.

• 33:48Speaker 06

  Why? It's, it means that Bromley could one day end up in the European Super League.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Et cetera.

• 33:54Speaker 06

  Et cetera.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Well, let's see if it happens. We'll get rid of it.

• 34:00Speaker 06

  If there's any issues stress test wise with my theory, but I think it works.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  The other thing, oh, so the other things we wanted to say, because.

• 34:09Speaker 06

  Shall we go through our predictions for the seasons?

• 34:11Speaker 03

  And fantasy foot, we need to talk about fantasy league teams.

• 34:15Speaker 06

  Yeah. Let's, let's start, let's, let's go through our predictions.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Shall we check in with Michael, see how he likes this structure?

• 34:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. What do you think of it so far, Michael?

• 34:22Speaker 03

  He said be linear. Can I be honest with you, Josh? I don't really know what that means.

• 34:26Speaker 06

  No, we did Mourinho and then we did the European Super League and then we did back to Arsenal.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Is that linear? We, we kept it contained.

• 34:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  In hindsight, it was a terrible note to give.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  Would you like an update on the Nigerian goalkeeper?

• 34:41Speaker 06

  Oh, yes, please.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  I did already have this information.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Oh, is Michael, get a call, Michael.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  He was spotted last month on a date with Cardi B, the American rapper Cardi B.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  But they were spotted flirting at Paris Fashion Week and then the week after, the week after they were on a date in Italy, in Venice apparently. So I don't know what's happened in the subsequent weeks since then, but that's, that's the latest Nigerian goalkeeper update.

• 35:05Speaker 06

  Can I get an update on a different goalkeeper from the World Cup?

• 35:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 06

  You know, the Kate Verdi goalkeeper that got loads and loads of Instagram followers.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 06

  After they drew with Spain. Has, have his numbers dropped off as people realise that they're a bit annoyed they're now following him or has he maintained?

• 35:21Speaker 04

  He currently has 29.3 million followers. I don't know what that level was prior to the World Cup or the end of the World Cup.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Now, now, I, I think though, we do need to try and, I mean, we've been both diagnosed with ADHD.

• 35:34Speaker 06

  We haven't been diagnosed.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Well, no, but like by listeners.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Now, at that moment there, Josh, we'd barely finished asking Michael to check his follower count before you tried to start talking about something else.

• 35:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, sorry.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  Now, I'm, I'm as guilty as it is you. Like, I'm not, this is not me, but I think we've, we've got to learn to breathe.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  What else do you want to talk about?

• 35:59Speaker 06

  Right. I'm gonna run you through the league, the Premier League, 20 teams. I want a, a very quick description of how you think it'll go for them.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Right, okay, cool.

• 36:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, this is our predictions.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 36:12Speaker 06

  Okay, and we'll play them back to this at the end of the season.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 36:15Speaker 06

  They're in alphabetical order currently, division wise, so Arsenal are still top by default. Arsenal.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  Champions.

• 36:22Speaker 06

  Aston Villa.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  Load of shit players because they haven't got their finances sorted. Mid table. Bournemouth, like fifth or sixth probably.

• 36:32Speaker 06

  Brentford.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Same.

• 36:36Speaker 06

  Brighton.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Same actually. I sort of, I, I call them the mid-table Bs. Absolutely zero interest in them unless they got a player I wanna buy. Couldn't give a, they just sort of float about being annoyingly good. And you think, oh, for fuck's sake, we got Bournemouth away. This is hard work. Why? They should be shite. Their stadium's little. But all of a sudden, you're like, fuck me. There's a midfielder in the middle. He's like prime Xavi and now I'm shitting myself and trying to Google who he is.

• 37:02Speaker 06

  Chelsea.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  I think they'll do well actually, Champions League, and Xabi Alonso.

• 37:07Speaker 06

  Coventry.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Oh, fingers crossed they stay up. Love the club.

• 37:11Speaker 06

  Palace.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  Um, I think they're gonna struggle. I think they'll just survive.

• 37:15Speaker 06

  Everton.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Mid, mid-table, Moyes, I think, might have a fight this season.

• 37:20Speaker 06

  Fulham.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Fulham. Are they still there? Completely forgot. Are they in the league?

• 37:28Speaker 06

  Ipswich.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  Oh, Ipswich. Um, I, I, I predict lots of shots of Ed Sheeran in the crowd. They'll get relegated.

• 37:37Speaker 06

  Leeds.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  Leeds. Oh, they back as well? Is it bad? I don't know who's in the league.

• 37:42Speaker 06

  Now, what you do now?

• 37:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do. Um, I think they'll stay up.

• 37:45Speaker 06

  Liverpool.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  Um, I think they're gonna be a bit of a shower of shit actually. I think the manager's good. I think it'll be good next season, but they've struggled this season.

• 37:54Speaker 06

  Man City.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  I think they're gonna struggle this season.

• 37:57Speaker 06

  Man United.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  I think they're gonna struggle as well because they've got, um, I, I think they're gonna have a complete meltdown this year. Because Carrick, I don't think has got the experience to do well with them. And they only played about four, four games last year because they got knocked out of everything. Do you know what I mean?

• 38:14Speaker 06

  Newcastle.

• 38:15Speaker 03

  I'm good at five-a-side if I play once a month. Newcastle. And I think they're gonna do quite well. I think everyone's expecting them to do badly. I think they might sneak Europe because they're quite good defensively.

• 38:26Speaker 06

  Forest.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  Forest, um, mid-table.

• 38:31Speaker 06

  Sunderland.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  Is this interesting? But are they still in the league? They did quite well. Spurs. I think they're gonna be annoyingly good. I think they might get Champions League Spurs, but who knows?

• 38:40Speaker 06

  There's our predictions for the season.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  Better predictions, yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 06

  There you go.

• 38:43Speaker 03

  I don't even know what I said.

• 38:44Speaker 06

  No, but I think Arsenal win the league as well. Michael?

• 38:47Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, I think Arsenal will walk the league. Can I, can I ask for a few slightly more manageable, quick predictions from you guys?

• 38:53Speaker 03

  That work in an edit that don't just involve me telling me table, telling me table.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  Uh, top scorer in the Premier League for each of you?

• 39:00Speaker 06

  Um, Erling Haaland. Is that all? That's the right answer, isn't it?

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so. Well, it's a bit, yeah, I think Haaland, Haaland will score a lot, but yeah, but I don't know. I think they might concede a lot.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Who's gonna win the FA Cup?

• 39:12Speaker 06

  Well, how do I know that?

• 39:15Speaker 04

  It's guess. No one knows.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  How do you, how do I know? Uh.

• 39:19Speaker 04

  It's a misprediction.

• 39:21Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Chelsea.

• 39:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, Chelsea. No, I'll go different. Man United.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  You're so panicky.

• 39:29Speaker 06

  Man United.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Who, who is gonna win the Champions League?

• 39:32Speaker 06

  Oh, oh, that's more fun.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  Arsenal.

• 39:35Speaker 06

  Uh, I can't see PSG winning it three years in a row. I don't know what. What does that mean? That, that should be an advantage winning it two. But they're the best team, so I'll go PSG.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  And then who's gonna get relegated from the Premier League?

• 39:45Speaker 06

  The three that came up.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Hull, Ipswich.

• 39:51Speaker 06

  Hull, Ipswich, Coventry. A Leeds still in the Premier.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Hang on, who?

• 39:55Speaker 06

  Leeds.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  So who came up? Hull, Ipswich, Coventry. I thought Leeds were, well, Leeds did it last year.

• 40:01Speaker 04

  Leeds, Leeds stayed up, yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 06

  Leeds did it last year.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  I'd say I didn't even know they were in the league. And at least they know.

• 40:08Speaker 04

  Ipswich, Coventry came up.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  I think Coventry stay up. I think Hull, Ipswich and Leeds go down. This is like when Huddersfield was in the league, that was hard to deal with.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Psychologically. You know what I mean? Going, Lou, Lou, I can't go out for, I can't go out for Sunday lunch. Huddersfield, Fulham are on. I can't help, Rob.

• 40:28Speaker 06

  Who's the Sunday? Let us know the most boring team that's ever been in the Premier League that you didn't notice were there. Um, Rob?

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Huddersfield for me. I, I know the problem with this is you're gonna get loads of tribal fans that hate me and I'm not having a go.

• 40:40Speaker 06

  It's just, you know.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  I am having a go actually.

• 40:41Speaker 06

  Oh, okay, we are having a go. Okay, we're having a go.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  I went to Huddersfield to film and I've got, put in a hotel that I found out was actually a nightingale Covid hospital.

• 40:51Speaker 06

  I've got a friend who's a Huddersfield fan and I was in Yorkshire when they were at home. I think I was gigging, so I said, let's go. 0-0, absolutely dreadful game. He then said, do you wanna come to the playoff final? Huddersfield v Sheffield United? Yeah, why not? Second bite of the cherry. 0-0 after 90 minutes. 0-0 after extra time. First five penalties missed. It was unbelievable.

• 41:16Speaker 06

  It went to the goalkeepers on the penalties though. So exciting.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  So are you picking Huddersfield as a team you don't like?

• 41:21Speaker 06

  No, I, I, I quite like their stadium, the, um, the Alfred Macalpine Stadium. I like that.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  It's a good stadium.

• 41:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Um, right. What, oh, what else do we need to do, Michael, in this preview end of the season?

• 41:32Speaker 06

  We've set up fantasy Premier League teams.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Yes. Now, Josh, what's your thought on fantasy Premier League teams? Do you normally have one?

• 41:40Speaker 06

  No, I used to have them when I had an office job. I finished 4,000th one year. Is that good?

• 41:48Speaker 03

  I don't know what, I don't know what reaction you want.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  I've got absolutely no idea what to say.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Out of how many? You've got to say out of.

• 42:00Speaker 06

  Well, how many do it, Michael? 10 million?

• 42:03Speaker 04

  How long ago was this?

• 42:05Speaker 06

  About 2005, six, something like that.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Far less impressive, but still, still, still impressive. But if you'd have done that in the last three or four years, that would have been an incredible finish.

• 42:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I gave up. I, it meant too much to me, Rob. And it was ruining games. It ruins games. I'll constantly be sat. I, I don't wanna give away, you know, trade secrets. I'll be sat at 5pm on a Friday with Alex Brooker. While we're doing the last leg rehearsal and he'll be worrying about whether he should triple captain Haaland. And I just think this, and then he's wanting Man City to win even though he's not a, I, I just don't like that. It's counterintuitive to the way I enjoy football, so I stopped.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Well, cool, because we set up teams and we're gonna follow it.

• 42:50Speaker 06

  Oh, well, you like it, do you?

• 42:52Speaker 03

  No, I don't. I'm just sort of, you know, like, just, oh, oh, welcome to the feature we do every week that we both absolutely detest.

• 43:13Speaker 07

  Father called vision. How is this possible?

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  Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy.

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• 44:29Speaker 03

  I used to love it, but like I say, I loved it when I worked in an office job. Now, I don't want to say people that work in office jobs aren't working 100%. But I definitely wasn't when I worked in an office job and I love fantasy football because it used to fill two or three hours a day where I was distracted from a job I absolutely hated. So I'd say it's quite handy for that, but it's quite hard when you're doing it off the phone and you've got the kids and stuff like that. But I have picked a team this year, but I can't be bothered to change it. So I've just picked my team. I'm not going to change all season. Let's see how I get on. Do you want to hear about my team?

• 45:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  And how have you picked your team, by the way?

• 45:07Speaker 06

  Do you want me to tell you how I picked my team, Rob?

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Go on. Or should I do mine first?

• 45:12Speaker 06

  You do yours and I'll tell you how I picked my team.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Okay, so my team is called Bobby's Blonde Babes.

• 45:20Speaker 06

  All blondies?

• 45:22Speaker 03

  You're right.

• 45:22Speaker 06

  There we go.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Bang on the money.

• 45:24Speaker 06

  He's got Haaland.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  It's quite a difficult, it's quite hard to

• 45:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  To get a full team of blondies?

• 45:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  And spend the money. So I've spent near enough all of it in goal. Well, Haaland up top.

• 45:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Yocarez, he's a bit dusty brown, isn't he?

• 45:44Speaker 06

  I'll give you that.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  Walter Marde, you know, the big German bloke Newcastle.

• 45:49Speaker 06

  Newcastle guy.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  He gets quite blonde in the middle.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  Bergwijk.

• 45:55Speaker 06

  Right.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Odegaard.

• 45:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, of course.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  Now, I've got Joel Linton in here, but he dyes his hair.

• 46:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, but I suppose it counts.

• 46:04Speaker 03

  Foden, because he dyed his hair once.

• 46:06Speaker 06

  I don't know whether I buy that one.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  You find me another.

• 46:10Speaker 06

  You've got some good players.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Braithwaite in defence, Van Heek, blonde. Reece James, because he dyed his hair blonde once.

• 46:19Speaker 06

  Fuck it, now this is a stretch, isn't it?

• 46:21Speaker 03

  But also as well, I thought it would be good to have Joel Linton and Reece James in because otherwise it is quite, looks quite like a far right team.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  And I don't mean I've essentially created, you know, I've picked a team Hitler would have picked.

• 46:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  And in goal, Kellerer. And on the bench, I've got Leno blonde, the lip bit blonde, Smith Rowe blonde.

• 46:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  And then Lewis Hall blonde.

• 46:44Speaker 06

  Yeah. It's a good team.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  But if anyone's got any suggestions where I could get rid of Joel Linton and Foden and Reece James for actual blonde people.

• 46:52Speaker 06

  I'm glad you added Foden to that.

• 46:57Speaker 06

  I think Reform have got some suggestions.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  Well, Rupert Lowe gave us some advice on the team, as you know, from his time in Southampton.

• 47:05Speaker 06

  He's used to running a club.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  It's the subs. So that's my team and we're going to set up a league, aren't we?

• 47:10Speaker 06

  Um, yeah, we're going to set up a league which you can all join.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  The league has been set up.

• 47:14Speaker 06

  The league has been set up.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  Do you want the code?

• 47:17Speaker 06

  Well, I don't, but yeah. Oh, yeah, I do. I need to join it, don't I? Yeah, yeah.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, also there'll be a link and the code will be in the episode description.

• 47:23Speaker 06

  Oh, great, great, great.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  For those who want it right now, it is 1A5FC7, 1A5FC7 and all of the letters are lowercase.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Okay, so I've got a headache immediately. Right, I'm going to find it.

• 47:36Speaker 06

  Let's do that afterwards.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I'm going to join the league. Say that again. Join league.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  1A5FC7.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  Now, if you're, if you're listening, Lou, because you want us an update on the Nigerian goalkeeper, don't panic. We will not be reading out numbered codes to join fantasy leagues every week.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Now, I'm in the league. I'm in the league.

• 47:55Speaker 06

  I don't know how to join the league.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Footballing and parenting hell. Bobby's babes, the Manchester United. Can I not see your team?

• 48:03Speaker 06

  No, you can't until it starts.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  Until it starts, yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 06

  What's the code, Michael?

• 48:07Speaker 04

  1A5.

• 48:09Speaker 06

  1?

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Just focus. Again, if you'd listened to him, you'd have had the code.

• 48:13Speaker 06

  1A5FC7.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  FC7.

• 48:17Speaker 06

  There we go. Joined it. I've joined it.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  Now, how funny or sad would it be if no one else joined?

• 48:23Speaker 06

  Oh my God, that would be embarrassing. That would be so embarrassing.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  But it's, it would be sort of quite fun if that happened also as well, wouldn't it?

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Just us three going, oh, slowly talking about our kids in the football app.

• 48:37Speaker 06

  Shall we, um, shall we just phase this out? Make it shorter every week?

• 48:41Speaker 03

  Right, now, talk, talk me through your team. What have you got?

• 48:43Speaker 06

  So it's called I Prefer Champ Man, right?

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Are you going to be changing your players and stuff? I want to see how I get on and I may be changing as I go.

• 48:51Speaker 06

  I said, oh no, it's not called, fucking hell, Rob.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  What's yours called?

• 48:56Speaker 06

  He didn't save my title. So it's just called, I changed it to I Prefer Champ Man, but obviously I've done that wrong. So it's just called Josh's Team.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  Josh's Team.

• 49:08Speaker 06

  Fucking pathetic.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  Done by his P A. Put together by his agent because he's busy.

• 49:14Speaker 06

  Well, you say that. I thought, you know what? I'm going to game the system here.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  Done.

• 49:19Speaker 06

  Went on to Google Gemini. Please tell me the best squad to pick for fantasy football league.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Oh, you.

• 49:26Speaker 06

  Say for it, Rob.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  He's done an A I team.

• 49:29Speaker 06

  Put them all in.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:30Speaker 06

  Came to 103 million. So it fucked it up, right?

• 49:34Speaker 03

  So you have some money left?

• 49:36Speaker 06

  No, it had come to 103 million.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  How much are you going to have 100?

• 49:39Speaker 06

  I was like, you've overspent by £3 million. It said, oh, sorry for my mistake. How about this? I looked, some of the players have been relegated over the summer. They weren't even in this league. They couldn't.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  I think A I might be shit.

• 49:52Speaker 06

  It's shit. I couldn't believe it. I was like.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  I have to like tell it off the line like I'm talking to my kid.

• 49:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, so I had to pick my own team, but it was, I've got the classic spine, the big three.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Raya.

• 50:05Speaker 06

  No.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Well, he's, he's been the best goalkeeper, most clean sheets the last three years.

• 50:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, well, I haven't got the classic spine.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Okay, you have the tailbone's missing.

• 50:14Speaker 06

  The tailbone's missing. My goalie is Verbruggen.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Who's he?

• 50:19Speaker 06

  Brighton.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 50:21Speaker 06

  Back three, Gabriel, Pedro, Porro and Shaw.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 50:26Speaker 06

  Midfield, Aaron Rodgers, who I love. Not Aaron Rodgers, what's he called?

• 50:31Speaker 03

  Aaron Rodgers has got NFL player. Morgan Ribs, Morgan Gibbs. Morgan Rogers. It is Aaron Rodgers.

• 50:40Speaker 06

  That's my fantasy American football team. Bernardo, Bernardo Silva, fucking hell.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  Bernardo Football!

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 50:53Speaker 06

  Sloboshly and Gross. Do you know what's difficult with searching Gross? Because I don't know how to make that fucking symbol on my keyboard.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  How did you fucking get Sloboshly? She can't get Gross.

• 51:06Speaker 06

  Xiao Pedro, Haaland and then Nemecha. I just chose somebody who was the right fee.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  Price.

• 51:13Speaker 06

  Price. And then I've just got some of the cheapest, I've just got all the cheapest players on the bench. I've got Dubravka. It's a Spurs reserve goalie.

• 51:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:22Speaker 06

  A guy called Thomas who plays for Brighton.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  I thought Dubravka was Newcastle.

• 51:27Speaker 06

  What?

• 51:28Speaker 03

  I thought Dubravka was Newcastle.

• 51:29Speaker 06

  He's at Spurs now.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 51:31Speaker 06

  And then Slater and Egan from Hull.

• 51:34Speaker 03

  Sorry, they're two new EastEnders characters.

• 51:37Speaker 06

  I don't know who the fuck they are.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Two twin boys turned up from up north to live in the square.

• 51:41Speaker 06

  There, that's my bet. I haven't got much depth on the bench, I'll be honest.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  I might just have David Raya. I'm just going to put David Raya in.

• 51:49Speaker 06

  Oh, that's a shame.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  Well, now you have ruined it then, haven't I?

• 51:52Speaker 06

  Without giving it away, Michael, because you can reveal your team on the day because I don't want people, because your team's going to be good. How similar is it to my team and Rob's team?

• 52:00Speaker 04

  Uh, it's very different to Rob's team.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  I would say there are four or five players overlap between yours and mine, Josh.

• 52:08Speaker 06

  Oh, what? I just picked a load of popular ones. I thought everyone would have them. Right. So shall we, the fixtures on the first weekend, Rob?

• 52:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:16Speaker 06

  What are you most excited about? Who have Arsenal got?

• 52:20Speaker 03

  Coventry, Coventry, um, is a good first game Friday night. I'm going to be away for the weekend, so I'm going to have to watch it in a pub. And I'm also going to have to, because this is going to, basically, we're going to record this Monday morning after the games to talk about what's happened and it's going to go out Monday night. We're actually, I've got to record this away on holiday on a Sunday night at 10:30 PM to make sure it's topical.

• 52:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  So, um.

• 52:48Speaker 06

  We're really going for it on this. So we've got Arsenal versus Coventry.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Do we care about the whole list of games?

• 52:55Speaker 06

  No, we don't.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  No, fuck it off then.

• 52:56Speaker 06

  Wickham or Wickham are at home to Plymouth. That's big.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  So let's do, let's do the ones that matter to us. So Arsenal got Coventry.

• 53:03Speaker 06

  I think Hull v Man U might be fun.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  What's, who have Bromley got?

• 53:07Speaker 06

  I don't know. Newcastle Liverpool on the Sunday, Rob. Newcastle v Liverpool. Here we go. That's a fixture. That's the fixture for the Sunday.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  That's the big one. Josh, I've enjoyed this.

• 53:18Speaker 06

  Iriola guy.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  He's good, but he's going to need a season.

• 53:22Speaker 06

  Yeah. There we go.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  So what were you going to say about him, this Iriola guy?

• 53:27Speaker 06

  Nothing.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  You just thought you just.

• 53:29Speaker 06

  I started.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  You worried a little bit about having anything to say about currently because I think you love football, but you do, you, all you will want to do is talk about the past.

• 53:37Speaker 06

  I was, I was worried my analysis of him wasn't good enough.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  Iriola?

• 53:43Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  I think he's a really good manager, but I think they've got a lot of problems at Liverpool.

• 53:47Speaker 06

  I don't think he's ripped enough. Do you know, every manager these days.

• 53:51Speaker 03

  Pudgy managers, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 06

  Pudgy managers, you just don't get them anymore. And it would worry me if I was a Liverpool fan.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  I do think if you spend your entire time at a training facility where there is personalised cooks that are paid to make sure that it's nutritious meals, you are surrounded by gym equipment and P Ts and you wear gym clothes all day. How are you still not ripped?

• 54:13Speaker 06

  Look, I'm not body shaming him. I'm just saying it doesn't strike me as a modern manager. I haven't seen, I haven't, when was the last pudgy manager to win a major trophy?

• 54:23Speaker 03

  Top level managers are normally ripped. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, that'd be a great one. Well, Big Ange won the Europa League.

• 54:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, Big Ange won the Europa League. Yeah, but does that count?

• 54:34Speaker 03

  Not really. It's not a proper trophy, is it? Well, it is a proper trophy, but not, not now that.

• 54:39Speaker 06

  It didn't even make it into Michael's predictions. Michael didn't say who's going to win the Europa League.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  It's harder to win the F A Cup. It's arguably harder to win the League Cup than the Europa League.

• 54:47Speaker 06

  Yeah. We didn't go with the Carabao prediction, but frankly, who cares? Right.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Um, Man City win, always win that.

• 54:53Speaker 06

  Always win that. As a matter of course.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  Right, Josh.

• 54:56Speaker 06

  Enjoy.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  I love this.

• 54:58Speaker 06

  I hope, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. I hope that's given you a taste of how our analysis is going to guide you through the season. We'll be back next Monday.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Yes, every Monday with our recap of the football at the weekend.

• 55:10Speaker 06

  Follow us on socials at Footballing How, email us if you've got anything you want to say at [email protected] and we'll see you next week. Bye.

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