Jon Gruden, Kyler Murray Named Vikings Starter, Mt Rushmore Of Purple Things + Pardon Your Take

Kyler Murray is the starter for the Vikings and we talk about what this means for JJ McCarthy and potential landing spots (00:00:00-00:14:26). Coaches on the hot seat, training camp injuries, the NBA released their schedule and more (00:14:26-00:30:21). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including a crazy golf cheating story, max gets confused and Halloween World Series (00:30:21-01:01:23). Mt Rushmore of purple things (01:01:23-01:19:36). Coach Gruden joins the show to get us ready for football, teams he likes, coaching wisdom he learned throughout the years and more (01:19:36-02:09:28). We finish with listener submitted Pardon Your Take questions You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take https://barstool.link/pardon-my-take

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, Pardon My Take fans. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or Netflix.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Trust no one and accuse everyone in Who's the Bad Guy, the official Barstool Sports social deduction game from the brilliant mind of Nick Tureny in what's quickly becoming the most popular new party game around. Players are secretly assigned unique roles with the good guys trying to expose the bad guys and the bad guys doing everything they can to stay hidden. Each game unfolds under alternating day and night phases with roles like the cool chick, the shy guy, the gambler, el presidente, the mentalist, the planner, the funny guy, and more. Every round is unpredictable, chaotic, and ridiculously fun. Who's the Bad Guy is great for parties, pre games, family gatherings, or groups who just love deception based games. Game night will never be the same. Shop now on Walmart.com.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  On today's Pardon My Take presented by Giraffe Kings, we've got our good friend, Coach Gruden, live in person, talking football. Football is almost here. Coach Gruden with some awesome stories. Also, he's starting a new show with his brother Jay, which we get into that as well. And he's going to be back in the booth for some preseason Bucks games, which we're very excited about that. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of purple things in honor of J.J. McCarthy not getting the starting job in Minnesota. We're going to talk about that. We have Who's Back or sorry, Hot Seat Cool Throne. We're a little

• 1:31Speaker 00

  confused on what day it is. And then we're going to finish with Pardon Your Take.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  We're going to get right back to the show.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Stella Blue Coffee's new can lattes are here. Crafted with 100% Colombian coffee, each can is a good source of protein and comes in two smooth flavors, Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. And whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are for those always on the go and for those who care. Stella Blue is more than just great coffee. It's about giving back. I named the brand after my rescue dog Stella who inspired our mission to help more dogs find their forever homes. Every purchase supports animal rescue organizations. So when you drink Stella Blue, you're not just fueling your day, you're saving a dog's life. Try the new cans today, taste the difference, and make a difference. All new Stella Blue Coffee can lattes now available at stellablucoffee.com

• 2:22Speaker 00

  or subscribe on Amazon for 10% off. All right, back to Pardon My Take.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by Giraffe Kings. The crown is yours. Today is August 12th and Kyler Murray has won the starting job in Minnesota for all the nine believers out there. It's a sad day. It's a bad day.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  Kyler Murray's going to look so short in that purple uniform, but.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Kirk Cousins looks short in that purple uniform.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Kyler's going to look really short.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's the first though domino that has fallen. We're still waiting to see if Shador Sanders or Deshaun Watson's the starting quarterback in Cleveland, but Kyler Murray has won the job. And now we've talked about it. We actually are going to talk about it because we taped with John Gruden on Monday night before this happened, but you have to trade him, right?

• 3:30Speaker 02

  I guess so, but I don't know what you're going to get. We mentioned it with Florio the other night. There might be something in the Vikings head that's like, we use such a high draft pick on him. And I guess it's the sunk cost fallacy, right?

• 3:44Speaker 00

  You gotta get rid of him.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  If somebody's like fifth round pick, you're like, but I spent a first rounder on him. I don't really feel like, it's like if you spend 30 grand on a car and somebody, you drive it off, it breaks down and somebody's like, can I pay you 10 grand for the car?

• 3:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  It's worthless to you at the time, but it's like, no, it's like, I just paid 30 grand for it. Maybe just make me an offer that doesn't feel insulting, but it would be probably a smart thing to let go because I don't think it's going to be productive for either side of that. Now, Kevin O'Connell has been a guy that said repeatedly that young quarterbacks don't fail teams, teams fail young quarterbacks. And I don't know if you could count this as a team failing a young quarterback, but McCarthy was injured his first year and then, listen, I'm going to be a pro nine player. I always am. I've been pretty clear about this through his whole career. I think J.J. McCarthy sucks, but I think nine is him. And when he gets, for some reason, he just, they weren't letting

• 4:39Speaker 02

  nine be nine. And he needs to go find a home that will love him for who he is.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  Here are the teams that I think could be interested in J.J. McCarthy. You tell me which ones are stupid or don't make sense, but I'll throw them out there. The Pittsburgh Steelers, why not take a shot? You have, you have done the, the old quarterback revolving door for a while now. Why wouldn't you just take a shot to bring him on the roster? Again, it's not going to cost a lot. You have Will Howard, but you're like, hey, let's, let's see if we can reclaim a guy, put him in, put him in the system, have Mike McCarthy coach him. Why not?

• 5:15Speaker 02

  He'd be the coach's son.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Coach's son, yeah.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, get those two back together. That's, that's not a bad idea. It is like a little bit on the nose for Steelers fans. They're just going to try to run the ball.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  It's like you're promising your fan base a return to like 1970s football.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. How about the Detroit Lions? Because Teddy Bridgewater just retired. They need a backup. He won a national championship in Michigan. You could have that kind of like, hey, look, he played college there. He lived there for four years. Why not have him go back to Detroit?

• 5:44Speaker 02

  I have to think Aiden Hutchinson is going to make a case for him.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Yep. Arizona Cardinals. You're probably going to draft someone next year. You're kind of sort of tanking. You have Carson Beck now. You're starting Jacoby Brissette. If you're a team like the Arizona Cardinals, I would take as many shots at quarterback as you can, however they come. And J.J. McCarthy would be one of those shots where it's like, get him on the roster, see what the fuck happens.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  That would be great because it would also fulfill like full on wife swap at quarterback between the Vikings and the Cardinals.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. And then the other one, I guess they kind of are okay because they drafted a quarterback in the first round, which is kind of something we should, we should always just remind ourselves. But the Rams, because you have Matthew Stafford and that team looks like it's a Super Bowl, you know, ready team. Matthew Stafford is old. You need some contingency plans if he gets injured.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Now that'd be interesting because if he goes from the Vikings to McVay, and then it doesn't work out there, then he'll probably go to the 49ers and he'll just play for all the gurus.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  I would have said the 49ers.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Is going to be like, I can fix him.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, I would have said the 49ers just because, but, but Mac Jones is there. And then the other one, what about, what about the Seahawks? He knows how to be in a room with Sam Darnold.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  He can do that.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Check that.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  I mean, I think, I think the one that you left off is Chargers. Bolt up. He seems like he's fully bolted.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  Okay. I don't, yeah, I don't see the Chargers, but sure.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Why not? Harbaugh is like, Harbaugh's in love with him.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true. All right. That's a good point. Maybe two in love with him.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  Like where it's like Justin Herbert's now got to be concerned.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Well, I'm not saying that, that like he's going to push Justin Herbert for the starting job. That's clearly not going to happen. But I do think that like, yes, if any coach is going to be interested, it's probably going to be Harbaugh. In fact, now that I say it out loud, there's been a lot of, a lot of incestuous stuff going on with the rosters of both the Harbaugh coached teams. They share a lot of their players. I'm pretty sure that if, for whatever reason, it's not going to be a fit for the Chargers, Jim would get on the phone with John.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  And just be like, hey, if you're looking for backup quarterback, I can't say enough good things about JJ.

• 7:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. What memes? Would you take him on the Jets? Why not? Like you, why not? If you're, if you don't have a for sure starter going forward, it's like, just, just take a shot, right? It probably won't work out.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  He is a winner.

• 8:07Speaker 00

  Winner?

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Uh, but I doubt if it worked, if it didn't work out on the Vikings, it probably wouldn't.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Can I throw out another interesting one?

• 8:15Speaker 02

  I just thought of one.

• 8:16Speaker 00

  Okay. I'll throw out another interesting one as well, and then I want to hear yours. Like Sean Payton could fix J.J. McCarthy.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  He could, but he's also, I think he's deeply in love with Bo Nix.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Of course, but you had it. I guess also the problem is he's deeply in love with, what's, what's the guy with the tail?

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Stiddy.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  Yes. He loves him so much that it's not even worth it.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  There might be a third guy that he's in love with coming in. Taysom Hill is probably going to get a shot there. And so that's, there might not be enough reps. I think. Now it'd be funny. I don't think it's gonna happen. But it would be very funny if the Houston Texans picked up JJ and just had him hand the ball off. And that defense continues to dominate and they go far in the playoffs and JJ throws like 12 passes a game.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Doesn't turn it over, hands the ball off. And if the Texans win a Super Bowl, that would be the funniest possible.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  That would be good.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  To this discourse. I, I think that's what I'm rooting for.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, all right. So that's, that's JJ McCarthy. That's probably, I, he's gotta get traded. I just don't know how you can have him on the roster and try to go back to him and give him any type of confidence when he just lost out to Kyler Murray, who Kyler Murray has flashes and it's not like Kyler Murray's like any slouch, but again, you drafted him two years ago and it's like, this is, this was supposed to be the future. And you, you're moving on from that already. So you just gotta rid yourself. It's kinda like the Josh Rosen, like just get, get rid of him, get him off the roster and move on, which is apropos because Josh Rosen, obviously Kyler Murray was the one who was drafted out to Josh Rosen.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's some guys that, that would make good backup quarterbacks that would be able to kinda like fade into the background. I don't know that nine is that guy.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  JJ McCarthy is.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  JJ is, but nine's not.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, okay. Other, other news. So, so speaking of quarterbacks, Todd Monkin, can I read a quote for you? Because we, we, we are wondering who's gonna start at quarterback, Deshaun Watson or Shador Sanders? Uh, a reporter asked Todd Monkin, uh, when he previously had talked about Deshaun Watson getting better, he said, were you saying Deshaun has gotten better since camp or that he's better than Shador? And Todd Monkin replied, oh, I don't think I threw in there that he's better than Shador. I'm not sure I went that far, but I appreciate, appreciate you trying to trap me in that shit. Didn't he just trap himself?

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Didn't he just admit that he's better than Shador?

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Well, no.

• 10:37Speaker 00

  Or Shador's, wait.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  He know he.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  No, Shador's better than him.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Shador is better.

• 10:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, I don't think I threw in there that he's better than Shador. I'm not sure I went that far, but I appreciate you trying to trap me in that shit. So yeah, Shador's better.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  The fact, okay. So here's how you can tell that Shador is better. The fact he denied it.

• 10:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Means that inside of his own head, he knows that he would never say that because he doesn't believe it. If he had, if the guy was trying to trap him and he actually thought maybe, uh, maybe Shador wasn't as good. He would just say like, ah, you know, I don't remember ever saying anything like that. We don't have a depth chart. I, he would like waffle his way out of it. But the fact that he denied it tells me that in his own brain, he, he recognized that person's putting a lie on my name.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Right.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  I have to correct the record. Oh shit, they got me.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Now it's also interesting that he's like definitively behind Shador at this point.

• 11:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  I don't think, I don't know. I'm not watching every Browns practice. God bless the coaches that, that have to do that every day. But, um, this sounds like just alternate drives until somebody separates themselves.

• 11:39Speaker 00

  Well, I think so. We have the first preseason games coming up this week. And I'm pretty sure, so the first unofficial depth chart, uh, as expected, an or between Deshaun Watson and Shador Sanders. So the, the Browns play the Bears, I believe in, in the first preseason game. And if you have the, if you're looking at the depth chart, it has the number ones for every position. And then for QB, it says Deshaun Watson or Shador Sanders. And then the number three is Dylan Gabriel.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. I love the ors. That's a recent development.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Coming out of training camps.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Also, can I just say aside, this is a personal matter, but, um, I think it should be illegal and you should be in jail if you report that a player is injured, uh, for a short period of time. And then it turns out they're injured for a longer period of time. Kobe Bryant is now out for four to six months because he got knee surgery. Everyone reported that he was out for eight to 10 weeks. That should be jail. Anyone who reported that should be in jail for eight to 10 weeks. You should have to serve the original sentence of, of how long you said he was gonna be out.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  What is, uh, what's the injury?

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Uh, his knee. So we knew his knee got hurt.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  And then he got, and, and he was carted off and it went through all the emotions. And then they came out and they were like eight to 10 weeks. So in my head, I'm like, oh, he'll be back week four. Turns out he got knee surgery. Ben Johnson said today, he's gonna be out for four to six weeks, or four to six months, which is pretty much the whole season. And this is the Bears' big signing. I mean, remember Ryan Poles was like, we're gonna get coverage sacks this year. So that should just be, if you report an injury incorrectly, you should have to serve the sentence of, of, of the injury that you first said. Do you guys all agree? Like that is illegal.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm just in favor of more jail time.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. You just can't do that. You can't play with everyone's emotions like that. It's bullshit. It's complete bullshit. You agree, Max?

• 13:24Speaker 04

  I mean, it's a thing of like, nothing changed from when

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Injury happened to now.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  So why?

• 13:30Speaker 04

  So why did you say that then?

• 13:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. Why?

• 13:33Speaker 04

  Why did you say that he didn't need to get this surgery when he obviously did need to get this surgery?

• 13:36Speaker 02

  I have a guess.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Don't say anything if you don't know.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  Zach, remind me, uh, when we talked to Schefter at the combine, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna put him in jail.

• 13:44Speaker 05

  What do you think about him sustaining the same injury? If he false report, you get like a bone bruise.

• 13:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, you have to do that. Yeah, yeah. I like that. But yeah, remind me, put that, put down a reminder right now. Also, we need ice cream.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  I, um,

• 13:57Speaker 02

  my, my theory is that they just, they reported like the hopeful thing from the coach and then he got an MRI.

• 14:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it sucks. You shouldn't get to do that. You shouldn't get to do the hopeful thing.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  You shouldn't, you shouldn't report, being first to report an injury as a, like a news guy that has sources inside the team, that's kind of weird business. I'm all for the weird doctors speculating online.

• 14:19Speaker 00

  You can do the opposite too. I have no problem with that. If they said he was out for four to six months and then they're like, actually he's only out for eight to 10 weeks. Then you get like a prize. You get a Pulitzer. But the other shit you can't do.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  Um, okay. Other stories. Uh, by the way, can we just leave, can we leave the schwam alone? Let's just leave the schwam alone.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  And no, no more needs to be said. He's a fucking living legend.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I agree. I agree.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  Internet, just chill out.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  So is there anything wrong at all with a man, uh, losing a little bit of weight?

• 14:48Speaker 00

  No.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  I think it sounds like people are just jealous that he's so hot now.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  You wanna laugh?

• 14:51Speaker 02

  That bod doesn't quit.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  You wanna laugh at someone with no ass? Just look at a picture of Ben Mince. Okay? Let's do that. Is that fair?

• 14:58Speaker 02

  I was gonna say.

• 14:58Speaker 05

  I mean, as, as, as no ass, I'm a, I'm team no ass.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. But I just like.

• 15:03Speaker 05

  It happens.

• 15:03Speaker 00

  Let's have some decorum.

• 15:04Speaker 05

  Some guys got it, some guys don't.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Hank is not caked up in the slightest.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  Let's have some fucking decorum online. Uh, the NBA released their schedule, which let me just say this, the opening day schedule, uh, that's fine. They released it. There's the Tuesday, October 20th, there's a game at two o'clock. Uh, central time.

• 15:26Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  The Celtics and the Pistons are playing at two o'clock.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  That's fun.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  Opening day. A little weird.

• 15:32Speaker 05

  But fun.

• 15:33Speaker 00

  Fun, fun, but weird.

• 15:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, but fun.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  But fun. Why do you think it's fun?

• 15:37Speaker 05

  Cause it's opening day. It's like.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  But I'll take any, I'll take any time.

• 15:39Speaker 05

  You get, you get, you get a taste, you get a taste in the afternoon. And then it's like, all right, now we got more basketball tonight.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  I was mostly wondering about like that matchup. What was fun about the matchup?

• 15:49Speaker 05

  It's the first game of the year, playoff team, number one seed last year.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:52Speaker 05

  One, two matchup.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, anytime they have sports in the middle of the day, it means we can bet on it. So that's fun. Um, and then Sixers Knicks in New York. So.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  So the returning champions going up to New York.

• 16:07Speaker 00

  So the Knicks, the Knicks, the Knicks got, uh, the Knicks got so disrespected, they didn't start the NBA season.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  By the way, I think memes actually wants to kill me. I've never said.

• 16:18Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Like the more, the more tongue in cheek Knicks jokes that we've made, which by the way, we have all the respect in the world for the Knicks, but it's just fun to, to get under meme skin. The last two weeks, he's like threatened to kill me three times.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 00

  He's mad about it.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  I was leaving the other week and I was like, all right, take care. Later memes. Have a good one. He goes, hey, PFT. Drive home safe.

• 16:41Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. Pretty menacing.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Well, PFT did drop a really good joke on me as he was leaving.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Oh, that's right. Yeah. Forgot about that.

• 16:48Speaker 00

  What'd he say?

• 16:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. I said, I said, all right, see you later. Memes, good luck with procedure.

• 16:54Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  And then memes said, what'd you say memes?

• 16:57Speaker 04

  I said, I said, what procedure?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  I said, take the stick out of your ass.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  Wait, is this also when memes said drive safely?

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:05Speaker 00

  You didn't give the context of that.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Well, he had also, memes had also threatened me multiple times.

• 17:09Speaker 04

  I was just saying that because you're not very good at driving.

• 17:12Speaker 05

  Oh, whoa.

• 17:14Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  I haven't been in an accident in

• 17:18Speaker 00

  What?

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Years, decades.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  Two years. No, well, two, you hit the pole.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  No, that pole was a, a traffic hazard in our parking lot that Hank didn't remove.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, two years.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  That's not a long accident. That's a, that's a crash.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  Everyone hits that pole.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  That holds beat up. Have you seen the side of that?

• 17:33Speaker 00

  I have not hit that pole.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Did you actually hit that pole?

• 17:35Speaker 00

  No, I have not hit that pole.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  Nobody's hit that pole.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  No one's hit that pole.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Everyone, have you seen the side of it?

• 17:39Speaker 00

  You got it, you got in a chick accident.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  Cause of you.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  You got in a chick accident.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  That thing is crunchy. That thing is in the, it's, it came out of nowhere.

• 17:49Speaker 00

  Uh, okay. So that, so the NBA, that's the opening day for the NBA schedule. And then the NBA also released their Christmas day schedule, which is Packers at Bears, Bills at Broncos and Rams at Seahawks. Cause I'm not watching the NBA on Christmas day. I, I like that they still are trying being like, yeah, we didn't get this stolen from us, but they've gotten it stolen.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. LeBron almost, he had me going last time. He was like, hey, NFL is NBA's day. It's actually Jesus's day. LeBron, I know you think you were born and majored, it's Jesus's day.

• 18:19Speaker 00

  By the way, I know the schedule, the, the season could go any which way, but let me just read that schedule to you again. Packers at Bears, Bills at Broncos, Rams at Seahawks.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 00

  We will not be watching the NBA on Christmas day.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  I will be watching the NBA on Christmas.

• 18:32Speaker 00

  Oh, you are? You're gonna watch it?

• 18:33Speaker 04

  Well, I'll watch one game.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  You're gonna watch it? You're gonna watch LeBron's documentary? He said it's gonna be electric.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, it will be.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Is that what, I think that was the exact quote. It's gonna be electric.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  It will be.

• 18:43Speaker 00

  It's gonna be electric when I'm done with it.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  When's it coming out?

• 18:46Speaker 00

  What's he gonna be doing? Is he gonna fuck his, is he gonna fuck his, his documentary? It's gonna be electric when I'm done with it?

• 18:53Speaker 04

  We literally say everything is electric.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  But we don't say like after I'm finished with it.

• 18:57Speaker 04

  No, yeah, yeah, we do.

• 18:59Speaker 00

  After I've finished with this episode?

• 19:00Speaker 04

  This book is electric.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  I actually.

• 19:02Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm sure it's the same thing.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  I don't think we said this book is electric.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  You can, you can order the electric book on Amazon, but this is actually paper.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  It's actually like the one thing that we've created that is not electric.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  No.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  You're talking about a Kindle.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  You're actually saying like.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  That's not a Kindle.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  We create a podcast that is electric because it's, you can listen to it on a phone. This is an actual book.

• 19:22Speaker 04

  Oh, so, so you don't want our listeners to listen to the audio book either?

• 19:25Speaker 00

  I want them to buy the book because we want to be New York Times bestsellers and buying the book is the only way to do that the first week.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  This is an analog book.

• 19:32Speaker 00

  Audio book does not count for sales.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  Why do we do the audio book?

• 19:36Speaker 00

  It counts for sales, but it doesn't count for New York Times bestsellers.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  To be honest with you, it was, is a giant behind the scenes prank just to see us try to read our own book.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  And we're gonna just use the outtakes and put those out.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  The woman said I was reading too fast and I was like, I'm doing exactly what I do on the podcast. You could slow it down.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  Sounds electric.

• 19:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. Nope. Not.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  You were, you were about to say yes.

• 19:58Speaker 00

  Not electric.

• 19:59Speaker 04

  You were about to say yes.

• 20:00Speaker 00

  Not electric, Max.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Buy the book.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Buy the book. Please buy the book.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  When LeBron's done with that documentary, we're all gonna need towels.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  It's gonna be electric. It's gonna be electric.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Gonna toss that chalk up in the air, LeBron.

• 20:16Speaker 00

  Uh, okay. Uh, before we get to the rest of the show, DraftKings this summer, whatever you're waiting, uh, watching, baseball, golf, soccer, racing, DraftKings has you covered for every single moment of it. The DraftKings Sports app is now available in all 50 states, bringing the game straight to your fingertips, wherever you are. From Florida to Texas to California, you're in on the excitement at the speed of sports. Follow every buzzer beater, every walk off, every photo finish, sweat the moments that matter in real time with a seamless experience built for the biggest season of the year. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code TAKE, spend five bucks to get 150 in rewards within 14 days. Includes all markets. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours.

• 21:01Speaker 05

  Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 1-800-MYRESSET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet, tax, pass through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 14 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer.

• 21:35Speaker 00

  Can I read you guys a list that might, uh, be interesting to the vast majority of this room?

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:42Speaker 00

  USA, uh, today has ranked their 10 coaches on the hot seat going into the NFL season.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Ooh. Can we guess?

• 21:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. Who's number one?

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Number one coach on the hot seat going into this NFL, wait, is it, is it gonna make me happy to hear?

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Dan Quinn. I think Dan Quinn's on the list.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  He is not on the, he is on the list. He's not on number one.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  He should be on the list.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  Alright, so the list is, like I said, it's, it's, it's relevant to every, pretty much everyone in this room. Number one is Shane Steichen. Number two is Aaron Glenn. Number three is Todd Bowles.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:18Speaker 00

  I think I agree with, I don't know about Shane Steichen. I feel like he does a pretty good job. Uh, but Aaron Glenn and Todd Bowles makes sense. Number four, Zach Taylor. Number five, Dan Quinn.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Okay. I, I would argue Dan Quinn should be firmly top three.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. Number six, uh, Nick Sirianni.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 22:39Speaker 00

  Whoa. I think that's just the Philly tax.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Of just, you're always on the hot seat.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 00

  This is where the list though.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Number six is actually, that's completely neutral.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  This is where the list went just, yeah, it is.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, like that's your, uh, new coach. He's, he's six on the hot seat.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  This is where the list went. I, I don't know if, if the person who made the list at USA Today is watching football, like reading about football, knows anything about football, because the list took a left turn here. Uh, number seven.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  I would say the left turn was before, but continue.

• 23:09Speaker 00

  No, Nick Sirianni would, you guys have everyone on the hot seat all the time.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  Well, let's see where this list turns.

• 23:14Speaker 00

  Okay. Number seven, Matt LaFleur, who just signed a long-term deal with the Packers.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  I think that would be, that would be fair to say, like going into the playoffs maybe last year.

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Right after the game.

• 23:24Speaker 00

  Right after the game, right. Because there was the will he, won't he sign, but he just signed a long-term deal. Number eight, Clint Kubiak.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  Doesn't really make sense.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  Number nine, Joe Brady. Doesn't really make sense. And number 10, Mike Vrabel.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:42Speaker 05

  Doesn't make any sense.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  He was just in the Super Bowl.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 00

  So that's, yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  That's the last.

• 23:46Speaker 00

  I don't know, seven through 10, I don't know what they were doing. I think that person doesn't watch football.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. The fact that Clint Kubiak, like you can't put a rookie head coach on the hot seat.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  That sounds like there's not enough coaches on the hot seat and they needed to finish out the top 10. The top five made sense.

• 24:00Speaker 00

  Who would have been?

• 24:02Speaker 00

  I mean, Jim Harbaugh, according to Mike Florio.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  What?

• 24:05Speaker 02

  No, it's true.

• 24:06Speaker 00

  What, according to Mike Florio?

• 24:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. And also if you're gonna put a rookie head coach on the hot seat, wouldn't Todd Munkin be the pick?

• 24:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  Like he has, he has.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  He's big.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  Screw that up even more, written all over.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  He's got big fired energy.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, fired early energy.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  This is like, Munkin, I, I wish nothing but the best. I want Cleveland to be successful. If we're being honest, we can look at him and be like, this is like, remember Joe Philbin?

• 24:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Like, you know what's gonna happen.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  You know how this is gonna end.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  Big time.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Um, I would say that there's, yeah, there's a couple I would put on there. Um.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  Is there a TV on in the other room? Oh, Mike's yelling outside. Oh, we gotta get him in here to talk about some.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Oh, no, it's Jerry. Jerry's doing.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Oh, it's Jerry.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  He's doing Jerry and Terry.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  He asked me before I came out here.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  Crossover.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  He can't, he was like, Eric, is it okay if, uh, if I record Jerry and Terry from the bathroom?

• 24:58Speaker 00

  Oh, I love that.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  I was like, sure, you can do it. You can do it from the room.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  I love that.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  But the bathroom's probably better. Uh, I would say Schottenheimer, just because like Jerry is liable to mix things up.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  I wouldn't, if he's not.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  I know, I know he doesn't fire as many coaches, but if things go haywire, like I could, I could see him making a move. It's not crazy thing. I would also say Dan Campbell. And it's no disrespect to Dan Campbell, because he's been, he's done a great job with the Lions.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  Changed everything there.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  But with this, the way the schedule plays out for them this year, I think, uh, if they don't make the playoffs, he's definitely on the hot seat.

• 25:31Speaker 00

  Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm actually thinking about it. There's, there's not a lot of coaches that you, like the list, it is hard to get further down the list because a lot of the coaches got, you know, swapped out. And what are you gonna like, you know, would have been maybe Mike Tomlin, it would have been.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:46Speaker 00

  John Harbaugh, but like those guys are out, so.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  Maybe Canales?

• 25:52Speaker 00

  No, he just won the division.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I, I mean, things don't go well this year.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  I think if you win the division for the Panthers, you're, you're good for a couple of years. Yeah. You definitely have a few year grace period.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, I, I could see, it wouldn't be shocking given the ownership.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  I would, I would, yeah. I think though you just would have to be like, hey dude, remember last year when we won the division?

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:11Speaker 00

  Like that was crazy.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  That would be, I, I understand that, but I also know how the owner likes to operate and, uh, I don't, I don't think he's like right now in a position, but if the, if things start out really ugly for the Panthers, I could see that talk picking up easily.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Uh, okay. Do we have anything else before we do hot seat, cool throne? Anyone have any, any?

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Uh, bullying works. Number like 120 in the last three years that we could put in the file.

• 26:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  The Broncos and the Seahawks are wearing the throwback uniforms when they play against each other.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  That is going to be incredi, when I'm done with that game, it's gonna be electric.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  It's gonna be electric.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  That's a towel game.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  That is a towel.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  It's gonna be perfect to look at on TV.

• 26:50Speaker 00

  It's gonna be incredible. I saw it and I was just like, holy shit. I want it bad. Real bad.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  Electric is like the most used adjective on this show. So I don't, I don't know what we're doing here.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  I got a pretty good documentary in the works too. It's gonna be electric when I'm done with it. He's fucking the documentary. That is, he's.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  He's taking out the documentary and having sex with it.

• 27:13Speaker 05

  Is he Pikachu?

• 27:15Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 27:16Speaker 05

  Like he has sex and it just becomes electric?

• 27:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe. That's true.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Max is acting like, we say electric all the time on this show, like it's the theme song of this show for years.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  Right.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  I don't get it.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Max. Max is also acting like we, like, he still hasn't realized that LeBron being on the Sixers means we're going to nitpick everything about LeBron. And he hasn't picked up on it.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  To defend the wall.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  I don't think he's, I don't think he's built for it.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  Yes, I am.

• 27:44Speaker 00

  Wait, so you're cool with LeBron James fucking a documentary?

• 27:48Speaker 04

  He never said that.

• 27:49Speaker 00

  It sounds like, the implication is there. Because of the implication, it's always sunny on a boat.

• 27:56Speaker 04

  No.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  The implication.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Max, do you think that LeBron's gonna show up at Eagles practice?

• 28:05Speaker 04

  I don't know. Why would I care?

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Well, because.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  That's actually a fair answer.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Because part of this, like Jalen Brown went there, right?

• 28:13Speaker 00

  That's a very fair answer.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  That was kind of cool. Like, it would be nice if LeBron wanted to go.

• 28:18Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  That's all I'm saying.

• 28:19Speaker 04

  He plays for the Sixers.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you want your guys from the teams to show up for the other sports.

• 28:25Speaker 00

  You can't, you can't do that because you literally said if the Phillies get Mike Trout, it would be like an Eagles player on the.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  Mike Trout's different. Mike Trout is on the Eagles.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  Did you see, by the way, that story?

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Basically on the sideline every, every game.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Did you guys see that story where Mike Trout took the entire Angels team to his private golf course for like team bonding during the trade deadline? And like the story was written and it sounded like everyone was getting out of jail. Like they, they would get a call on the golf course and be like, Zephyr John, you've been traded. And he would like give hugs and be like, I'm free. And like guys being like, hey, can I finish my round of golf real quick before I head to Atlanta? So the Angels situation is just, I mean, that's a, that's a, that's a franchise that is irrelevant beyond.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  The party that would have happened at that trade deadline or at that golf course, if he got traded to the Phillies at the deadline would have been crazy.

• 29:18Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. A hole in one party.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  It would have been the biggest hole in one party of all time.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  How long has it been since the, the Angels made the playoffs? Has it been?

• 29:28Speaker 00

  A decade?

• 29:29Speaker 02

  I think it's been longer than that.

• 29:30Speaker 00

  I was, I was looking at Mike Trout, like just looking at his stats. He's, he was so fucking good. I mean, he still is good, but he's not this like peak. But when he came up, he was just instantly like the best hitter in baseball. There's so many flies in this place.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  I would like, at, at some point, when is his, his contract up here? I'm looking at it right now.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  He's got, oh, he's got a long time. He's got, he's got six more years.

• 30:00Speaker 00

  When he's done with that contract, it's going to be electric.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  I, I think in, in three or four years, he's got at some point, like when he's closing out the career, make one trade request, right?

• 30:10Speaker 00

  I would hope so.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  I would love to see Mike Trout play meaningful baseball games in October. I think everybody would.

• 30:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  I think that it like, because we do forget how good he is at baseball. It's easy to forget, uh, because they haven't done shit.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  But if we get one season, almost like a Ray Borker, it doesn't matter, like a guy at the end of their career. I want to see Mike Trout making a playoff run.

• 30:32Speaker 00

  Mm hmm. I agree.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  I would love to see that. So I think he probably would like, he doesn't want to move right now. I get that. But if it's for a year, I could see it happening and that's going to be, make me very excited about baseball.

• 30:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, okay. Let's do our, uh, hot seat, cool thrones. And then we're going to do the Mount Rushmore. And then we have a great interview with Gruden and we finish with pardon your takes.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Unless he goes to the Dodgers, in which case I just pictured him wearing a Dodgers uniform. Fuck you if you do that.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  No, he wouldn't do that. Okay. Uh, hot seat, cool throne. Brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea. Summer's here and so is the Twisted Tea Summer Party Pack. We have the party pack right in front of us. If you're watching on Netflix, Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. They also have a new summer party pack that has a brand new twisted lemonade. It's a refreshing hard lemonade made with real lemons. It's only available in their new party pack. So grab it while you can, whether you're hanging out at the bar, hitting the lake or beach for a weekend or day drinking with friends. Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time, a great time. Keep the good times going all day and all summer long. Keep it twisted. Grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Okay. Hank, hot seat, cool throne.

• 31:43Speaker 05

  My hot seat is Tulsa National Little League team.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 05

  They advanced to their, they advanced the Southwest region to be the representative, uh, in the Little League World Series. Then a bunch of teams complained, filed a formal appeal. Turns out the Tulsa National was like, I don't know if they had a guy that was over 12 or they were using.

• 32:03Speaker 00

  Back in it. Yeah.

• 32:05Speaker 05

  They said they partook in fraudulent use of the challenger program to falsify player eligibility.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  So it's probably, I think, and I haven't read anything other than what you just said and one tweet that said something about disabilities. It sounded like they faked some kids maybe outside of the region to stack a super team.

• 32:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 00

  I do want.

• 32:27Speaker 05

  I was hoping it was like a 14 year old.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  I did see that they had, uh, their banner for winning the state of Oklahoma. I want that banner.

• 32:35Speaker 05

  Well, they appealed.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Bad.

• 32:36Speaker 05

  They, they. They got, they got banned. Tulsa appealed. It got approved, being like, all right, you're back in. And then second appeal formally done.

• 32:47Speaker 00

  Give me that banner. I'll help you. I will help fund the next scheme you're going to plan on doing Tulsa Little League.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  So they, did they get officially caught? Like who caught? Was it a parent complaint?

• 32:58Speaker 05

  It was like multiple, they, they, they won. And then I guess multiple teams, there was multiple confirmations that they were like abusing the rules.

• 33:05Speaker 00

  Which is fucked up.

• 33:06Speaker 05

  So I'm guessing it was like a couple of teams probably like banded together and filed the complaint.

• 33:10Speaker 00

  If they were to create a super team in Little League is true, true scumbag shit.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  What, what is it called? The rules, the organizing body?

• 33:20Speaker 05

  The.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  What rule did they violate? What, what?

• 33:23Speaker 05

  They, they partook in fraudulent use of the challenger program to falsify player eligibility.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  That's the worst thing I've ever heard associated with the challenger program.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  O-rings.

• 33:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. Frozen.

• 33:36Speaker 05

  Uh, my cool throne was LeBron James, Sixers, 34 nationally televised games. That's the max.

• 33:43Speaker 05

  But since we talked about that, I guess part of my book, it's going to be electric. My today.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. Hank's right.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  Agreed.

• 33:49Speaker 05

  Uh, we did, we did, we did autograph a lot of books and people are starting to receive some autographed ones. I changed my, the way I autograph my signature like seven different ways. So. It's, it's, it's a dealer's choice. Yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Not a single one of my signatures is the same on any, on any single book.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  There were some where, where Hank did Lefty Lockwood.

• 34:08Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Somewhere Hank did Lefty Lockwood, but there was just one L that started out Lefty and Lockwood.

• 34:15Speaker 05

  There was one where I wasn't paying attention. I signed my last name first.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 34:19Speaker 05

  That's the rest of one of one.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  One of one. Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  Zach has the coolest signature.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  A Korean.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Zach's signature is awesome.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  Just ran the ball one with Zach. Just quick, easy AC. It's easy with the.

• 34:28Speaker 04

  But then you do double C around the whole thing.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 04

  Which is cool.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  But go buy the book on Amazon. Uh, we, we are very proud of it. I think people are going to really, really like it. Uh, some really funny stories. It's also, I'll just say this right now because we're not real big book guys. I think we wrote it in a way that, uh, if you are not a big reader, you still will enjoy it. We made the chapters short, good stories, funny little like weird things where like Zach did the history of ice cream. Uh, Max did, uh, Italian Hall of Fame with Florio memes rebuilt the Jets. He read a manifesto inside the book.

• 35:06Speaker 04

  My chapter's wrong.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  What do you mean your chapter's wrong? Oh.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  I didn't.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  It's outdated already?

• 35:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's outdated immediately.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 35:13Speaker 00

  What did you write Shane? The end. He wrote the end, the whole end. Uh, no, we all, we all wrote it. I did my 10 rules of gambling. We did, everyone did chapters. Zach or Jacob wrote a chapter. So we got, and then we have J J Watt, Scott Van Pelt, uh, Rossello, a bunch of our, our favorite guys and, and girls. So go buy a book, please.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Be great. Be, be electric. Um.

• 35:39Speaker 04

  It would be electric.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  Hot seat, cool throne, PFT.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Yep. My hot seat is player safety in football. There's a story out of Arkansas, Arkansas high school football. Um, there was a player at his high school football practice today, or it might've been a couple of days ago, that, um, practiced for an hour and felt a weird thing going on with his helmet. And it was moving around and he went over to sidelines, took it off, brought it to the athletic trainer or the equipment manager, whatever. And the manager looked inside and there was a live cottonmouth snake that had been inside the dude's helmet for a full hour of football practice before he took it out. They couldn't get the snake to come out. So they had to fill the helmet with water.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  Did they have like a, uh, maybe a flute or something?

• 36:27Speaker 04

  This is a terrible story.

• 36:28Speaker 00

  They got in a flute.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, they should have had somebody play, play a song for it.

• 36:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  Charm it out of there. They had to fill the helmet up with water to drown the snake so that it would crawl out. So it slithered out, they captured it, gave it to animal control who took it into the woods and released it. But a cottonmouth, I think is the second most poisonous snake in the United States.

• 36:47Speaker 00

  Kill it.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  It'll fuck you up if it bites you.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  Dude, why are they releasing it?

• 36:52Speaker 02

  It was in the guy's helmet.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  Kill it.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  For an hour. I, I can't imagine the lack of self-awareness. That, you know what? If you have a snake inside your, your, your helmet for an hour, you should go to the concussion tent. You should see a doctor immediately.

• 37:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Who's like, there's something wrong with this. As, now that I think about it, this should be a lawsuit against like Riddell and helmet makers. There should be a sticker on them saying, warning, always check for snakes.

• 37:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  When you put this helmet on, they have other warnings.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  We made, we made something to protect your head during football. Also accidentally made an awesome place for a snake to hide.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:27Speaker 00

  Our bad.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Goodell should put that in the back of the end zones this year.

• 37:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Make sure to check your helmet for cottonmouths.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Cause we solved racism. Onto the next one. Um, my cool throne is robots. Robots are the cool throne. Uh, because I heard the CEO of a company called Cloud Fair that, or Cloud Flare that deals with internet traffic. They initially predicted that bot traffic would surpass human traffic by 2027. Turns out that happened already in 2026. And he said that if current trends hold, in five years, non-human traffic will be as much as a thousand times as much as human traffic.

• 38:07Speaker 00

  Wait, say that again? Non-human traffic?

• 38:10Speaker 02

  In five years, non-human traffic will be as much as a thousand times as much as human traffic. A thousand times.

• 38:18Speaker 00

  Bots everywhere?

• 38:19Speaker 02

  So it's dead internet theory. I don't know if you guys have heard of the dead internet theory, which is just that after 2016.

• 38:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  Most things online are populated by either bots or just like, you know, algorithms and not actual human traffic. Um, but I think they figured out a way to measure it and that includes crawlers that are like going out over the web, copying websites, putting them into large language models and stuff like that. Uh, but it's a thousand times as much as human traffic in five years, which is absolutely crazy. I don't know if robots.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  Bad.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  Do robots listen to podcasts?

• 38:52Speaker 00

  It feels bad.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. It, it doesn't feel good.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  It feels really bad.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  I'd like to ban robots from listening to this podcast.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  You keep saying human traffic and I think you're talking about human trafficking.

• 39:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, I could see how that would be confusing for a dumb person.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  I.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  It's

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Max, I'm actually, I think I might be pro robot trafficking.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's

• 39:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, we should make them have sex.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 00

  You're already fucking LeBron with their

• 39:20Speaker 04

  Started this rant and in my head, I was thinking, I was like, that sounds way better.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  I was dismayed that human trafficking is going away.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  Well, then the more you talked about it, it started, it started to click to me, but I did. Yeah, human traffic sounds so much like human trafficking.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  It's just three letters off.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's a pretty important last three letters.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Bot trafficking could.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  I'm fine with, I'm fine with robot trafficking. In fact, I, I would like to see a thousand times more of it than human trafficking.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  All right, cool. We're on the same page.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Yep, exactly.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  That is crazy though, man. Fuck. That's, that's

• 39:58Speaker 02

  I can't even comprehend that and, and what that's going to mean for society. And I don't, I don't think it's going to be anything positive.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  It's going to be more people getting their Twitter account locks because they voted for a Spotify poll, shit like that.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  Definitely.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  That sort of thing. It's going to be actually a lot of people on X, the everything app underneath like any sort of verified tweet. Immediately rephrasing that tweet back. In the replies.

• 40:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  Those type of bots.

• 40:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, okay. Uh, my hot seat, cool throne. My hot seat is the kids because MLB released their postseason schedule. And game seven of the world series, if it happens, will be Halloween night.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:40Speaker 00

  What a shitty thing for the MLB to do. It's so easy not to do that. I mean, I know Sunday and Monday make it difficult because those are football nights. But that sucks.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Uh, what day of the week is that?

• 40:50Speaker 00

  Sun, it's Saturday night.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Saturday night? Okay.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  Saturday night, October 31st, Halloween night. Game seven of the world series.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  If I'm thinking about it, trick or treating is usually wrapped up by like eight or nine.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  What if the Dodgers are in the world series, which could very well happen and uh, they're trick or treating during game seven?

• 41:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was thinking my time zone. I wasn't thinking about west coast time.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  That's a fair point.

• 41:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  That's a fair point. That sucks.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  It's just like, well, I, I get it. It's hard because of all the football, like football runs everything. Totally get it.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Not Christmas.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  We still got Christmas for the NBA. But yeah, I just saw it and I was like, I, and yeah, I know like, uh, listen, if the Cubs are in a game seven world series, I'll be, I'll be, I'll sign up for that right now because it'd be incredible. But like, I'd be bummed out that my kids are like, I, you know, that's a big, Halloween's a big night for my kids.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  There would be a lot of dads trying to convince their kids that actually the Cubs being world series game seven is way cooler than Halloween. And the kids who might've been getting into baseball at the time will just say, absolutely not.

• 41:58Speaker 00

  Yeah. Halloween is my one, one holiday right now with, with having kids like I

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Like Christmas?

• 42:04Speaker 00

  Dude, I fucking, my kids get so pumped up to get like dressed up and get the camp. Maybe it's because it's the next one coming up, but they just, they start to, they've already started talking about Halloween costumes. Like, what are we going to be this year?

• 42:18Speaker 02

  If you're, if you're ranking like the best ages to celebrate Halloween, I think as a kids, clear number one. Would you say as an adult with kids being number two, or would you say college?

• 42:29Speaker 00

  College then adult with kids.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  I mean, college rocks.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  College is pretty good.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  And then, and then far in the distance is like, like late twenties, no kids, and then also like 14 to like 17.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:46Speaker 00

  That sucks.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  14 and 17.

• 42:47Speaker 00

  When you're, when you're too old to trick or treat, but you're not old enough to like party and you're just stuck in the middle. And you're like, oh, this sucks. And like that last year that you go trick or treating and everyone's like, dude, you're way too old to be trick or treating.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  Go home.

• 43:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, don't do that anymore. Also, hot seat, uh, golf, golf cheaters. Did you, we, we didn't talk about this story, but it was crazy. There was a story that went viral over the weekend. Um, there was essentially so a member, uh, guest tournament in St. Louis. Member, member in St. Louis where, uh, there was a pot for not only winning the tournament, but also a pot for a par three hole and one. Uh, if anyone hits a hole and one, they get a shitload of money that everyone put in. Uh, guy goes and first tee time of the day, shows up, uh, is playing and he tells his playing partners, uh, that he has an ill grandmother.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  And he might take a phone call at some point and have to run and grab and like, and take the phone call because she's in the hospital or whatever. Uh, does it after the hole three, hole four is a par, par three. He says, let me run ahead. I'll hit, I'll take this phone call and then I'll meet you guys on the green par, par three, uh, hole four. So he runs ahead, then he meets them and he's like, I hit, I thinned it. I don't know where it went. Shows up, ball's in the cup. Everyone's partying. Everyone's like, that's crazy. Way to go. There's a divot mark, everything. Uh, you know, gets the money. Next day, a couple of members are like, wait, no one saw him actually hit the ball?

• 44:24Speaker 00

  And they pulled the tapes. He had gone out before the round to the fourth hole and placed the ball in the hole and made a fake divot mark.

• 44:35Speaker 04

  I don't even think that's true. I think he, didn't he like park his car there before?

• 44:40Speaker 00

  He drove to the, the fourth hole. They found him on the security tapes. No, no, he, he drove like there's a shed near the fourth hole.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  He drove before the, the round.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 44:51Speaker 00

  He, he drove, he dropped because he knew he was the first one out. They were the first tee time.

• 44:55Speaker 04

  Got it, got it.

• 44:56Speaker 00

  Dropped the ball in the hole, made a fake divot mark and then left and then did that whole thing. And now

• 45:02Speaker 05

  They gotta release the video. It's gotta be the funniest video of all time.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  How much, how much money did he make off the hole and one?

• 45:08Speaker 00

  It probably was like 10 grand or something. I don't know.

• 45:11Speaker 05

  And disclosed.

• 45:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, they disclosed.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  That guy should be

• 45:14Speaker 00

  Insane.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Like he should either be in prison for the rest of his life.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Because like this is truly antisocial behavior.

• 45:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  This is like psychopath stuff. If you actually think about, you could think about and be like, oh man, someone could do this, but to actually carry this out.

• 45:28Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Is apps, I know it's not like a jail time worthy offense.

• 45:33Speaker 00

  No, but it says everything about you.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Guy would, he should either be in prison or golf tournament should hire this guy to figure out if other people are cheating.

• 45:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Like catch me if you can, because this, he's that level of criminal mind.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  What were you gonna say, Max? It's crazy. He went on a St. Louis radio show on Friday. I actually listened to it because I was interested in this story. Uh, and he did the usual. He played the cards of like, people are coming after my family. Please leave him alone, which yes, of course, leave his family alone. But you sir are crazy. You're psycho. Like that's a crazy thing to do. What were you gonna say, Max? You gonna defend him?

• 46:09Speaker 04

  No, I wasn't going to defend him.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  Also, I did see one video of him because he hit a big putt, uh, to win something and, um, I think it was a Barstool classic.

• 46:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Really?

• 46:20Speaker 00

  When they slowly figured out who it was, they're like, this is the guy and it's just him and Riggs.

• 46:24Speaker 05

  He hits a putt, Riggs like jumps in his arms. So it's like a video of him and Riggs embracing like they're like best friends.

• 46:32Speaker 04

  That's awesome.

• 46:32Speaker 00

  It's so funny. He, he was, he like is a good golfer. He's a, a low handicap. Um, so even like

• 46:39Speaker 02

  Sure?

• 46:40Speaker 00

  Well, he played in college, like the, I've, I've read about it. Like he played in community college.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  A guy that's willing to drive over and hide a ball.

• 46:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  I think it, it wouldn't be out of the question to say he's shaved a couple of strokes off before. That's like

• 46:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, but why would he do that?

• 46:55Speaker 02

  First time cheat.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  No, he would do the other way though.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  But you know, I don't think

• 46:58Speaker 00

  He would sandbag.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  You don't jump in to like putting your ball in a hole before the round starts and faking a phone call with your dead grandma. That's something you built, you build up to over probably years of cheating at golf.

• 47:09Speaker 05

  He's probably, he's probably better at golf than his

• 47:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's a sandbagger. He's probably better at golf than a two.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  I was just saying, he might lie about his score during tournaments.

• 47:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I think he, he, most likely he's a sandbagger than a vanity handicap guy.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  Get, get Yip Strickler on it.

• 47:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, well, they already solved it. Max, you, I feel like you just keep, are you still thinking about the trafficking thing?

• 47:29Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  Talking about bots, dude.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  No, I was initially going to say that I think that we, that we know a guy that would do this, but I don't even think that Jersey Jerry would.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  No, I don't think Jerry would do it. I don't think Jerry would do it.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  That was my initial thought. And then I, the more that I thought about it, I was like, he wouldn't do that.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Absolutely not.

• 47:42Speaker 00

  Jerry might walk by the hole when everyone's like in the sand trap and drop it in, but he wouldn't go out before the whole round.

• 47:50Speaker 05

  That's a lot of thinking.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  It's a crazy amount of thinking.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Going out before is like premeditated. You're, you're sitting on that, you're marinating with it. You're like, all right, let me park next to the shed. Let me see if I dribble this.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  To make the divot mark too, and then be like, and then use your like ill grandmother as an excuse and be like, I thinned it. I don't know where it went. Oh shit, it's in the hole.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  It is so premeditated. It's the most premeditated crime you could ever commit. The level of the step that you have, you have to do so much stuff. You don't just have to conceptualize it. You have to like set an alarm in the middle of the night.

• 48:19Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 48:20Speaker 02

  And drive out to the course.

• 48:21Speaker 05

  What's the plan there too? Like you do it at the club you're a member of. So then that, that's going to get brought up all the time.

• 48:26Speaker 00

  Oh, he immediately, he immediately renounced his, uh, membership. I think it was like a, I quit before they could fire me because he would a hundred percent be fired or like, like, uh, take, kicked out. Yeah.

• 48:35Speaker 05

  But even best case, he doesn't get caught. You just, does that guilt not just eat you every time somebody brings it up at the clubhouse? Like, how do you think you were going to maintain like, oh yeah, I hit that hole and one six years ago?

• 48:45Speaker 00

  It's also crazy to like, it's insane to say in a tournament setting to be like, I hit a hole and one, but no one saw it. Like, how do you think that the fact that it even lasted a day before other members were like, wait a second, no one saw it? Everyone's going to have that question. Just like, there were no witnesses to this? How does that make sense? Like you, you just can't, you can't, I would never buy it if I walked up and someone's like, oh my God, I hit a hole and one. It's like, okay dude, you, no one was around? Sure thing you did.

• 49:21Speaker 05

  Oh, that's gotta be the worst.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  Ever though, actually hitting one and just no one's there. By the way, who do you think's gonna hit the first hole in one on this show? Is it gonna be Hank just by numbers?

• 49:28Speaker 02

  But it has to be.

• 49:30Speaker 05

  No, probably, probably PFT.

• 49:33Speaker 00

  I think I'm gonna hit, I think I'm gonna hit one hole in one in my life, but it's gonna be, uh, actually a par because I'm gonna hit it in the water. And then my second shot will be a hole in one.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  It'd be the best.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  That's, that's definitely what's gonna happen to me.

• 49:47Speaker 05

  That'd be devastating.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  Oh my, but you know, you could see it.

• 49:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  One hundred percent.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  I thought about that. I hit, I hit this one really good drive like six months ago. And it was right after I hit the ball out of bounds on a par four. And so my re tee was awesome and it went up on the green. And as it was going towards the hole, I swear my only thought was, oh no.

• 50:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Like that would be awful.

• 50:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  That would be terrible to hit that.

• 50:13Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, all right. My cool throne is, uh, NFL head coaches because there's a new NFL rule. That allows, uh, NFL head coaches to have a designated flag thrower on the sidelines. So there can be, there can be another coach or staff member, maybe a partner, who can throw the red flag. That's a pretty cool thing. Like if that's your job.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Being backup flag guy. Backup flag guy.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  No, no, you're, no, no, you're main time flag guy.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  So the, you hold the flag. There's not two flags.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  No, no, no. You are the flag guy.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like that.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  Which actually kinda makes sense because like sometimes they can't find it, but if you're, if you have like your hold back guy just holding it.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:57Speaker 00

  Big Tom's gotta be the flag guy.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  That's a lot of responsibility.

• 51:00Speaker 00

  He's gotta be. He's gotta be.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  He's got way more responsibility than that.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  But I want him to be the flag guy. I want him to fucking launch.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Can he, uh, put like one white and then one green stripe also on the flag?

• 51:13Speaker 04

  That would be awesome.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  Be so sick.

• 51:16Speaker 04

  And a tal- we'd win every challenge.

• 51:18Speaker 02

  The Italian challenge flag.

• 51:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 04

  That would be so awesome.

• 51:22Speaker 00

  Oh, did you see by the way, Max, the, I think I tagged you. I tagged you in that tweet that there's like a crisis in Italy because it's too hot and there's, uh, Gouda cheese is melting and they use it as like.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  Definitely not Gouda.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  What, what was it? Oh, no, it's Parmesan. It was Parmesan cheese and they, it was melting and they use that as like the, the ba-. It's like their gold standard. They, they use that to back their money in Italy.

• 51:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I saw that. I felt like it was probably fake.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  No, I think that's real.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  I want it to be real.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  That's so awesome. If they're like.

• 51:53Speaker 04

  I know that those.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  When the banks fail, we still got our cheese.

• 51:56Speaker 04

  I know that those big boxes of cheese are like tens of thousands of dollars.

• 52:00Speaker 00

  Then it probably is real. They're on the, on the cheese standard, not the gold standard.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  I don't understand what the problem is. You're just getting melty or cheese. It should be worth more.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  No. No, Parmesan, you can't have.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's aged.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  Oohier, it's gooier.

• 52:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can't have that.

• 52:15Speaker 04

  Cause then it probably, there probably gets mold and stuff in it and.

• 52:18Speaker 00

  Gouda is really.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  That's what blue cheese is.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  Gouda is just not an Italian cheese.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  I know, but smoked.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Pretty sure it's Dutch. I wanna say Dutch.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 52:27Speaker 04

  I hope I know cheese. That would be cool.

• 52:29Speaker 00

  Uh, Zach.

• 52:32Speaker 05

  Uh, my hot, or, uh, my hot seat this week is gonna be, uh, guys who maybe aren't really acting like themselves right now. Uh, because, uh, Paul Skeens got pulled today after five innings on the sixty-five pitches and he didn't pitch one pitch over ninety-five.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:45Speaker 05

  Do we think he's injured?

• 52:46Speaker 00

  I think there's something up. I mean, he's gotta be right. Like something changed.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  Is it an emotional thing? Is he just like detached from the game?

• 52:53Speaker 00

  No, I, I don't know what it is, but either it feels like there's an injury.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  He's what?

• 52:57Speaker 05

  He's not stretching enough.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  He's not stretching enough. It's what my doctor told me. Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  He's stretch, stretch harder or stretch longer?

• 53:04Speaker 00

  He's gotta stretch more.

• 53:05Speaker 05

  More time stretching.

• 53:06Speaker 00

  He's gotta spend more time stretching.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  Does he know any flexible people that can help him figure out how to stretch?

• 53:11Speaker 05

  Probably.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 53:17Speaker 05

  No, he stretches for four hours a day.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 53:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:21Speaker 00

  I haven't seen that.

• 53:21Speaker 05

  He's, oh, yeah.

• 53:22Speaker 00

  He stretches too much. Were you being sarcastic?

• 53:25Speaker 05

  I was.

• 53:26Speaker 00

  Damn dude. I didn't know you had that in you.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't know that, like, the sarcasm about Paul Skeens' stretching routine is.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  That's a deep cut.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  You're right. We should not be joking about how you made a joke about that because you were right about it.

• 53:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:39Speaker 00

  You fucking fooled all of us in this room.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 00

  Like you had us all.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  That was good.

• 53:44Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  So he stretches too much.

• 53:49Speaker 00

  Some may say.

• 53:51Speaker 05

  Who knows? Who knows what it is? Say, maybe if he stretches more, the, the, the velo will come back.

• 53:56Speaker 00

  With the preeminent Paul Skeen, Skeen's stretch watch podcast.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Okay, well, I guess Pirates do have runners on base a lot, so that makes sense.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  Did you guys see that polar bear that, uh, puts cones on his head? Maybe think Pirates fans. Remember when they tried to make cones a thing? No, it had nothing to do with any of this.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  I, I, I did see the bear. The bear that was wearing the cones on his head was putting, a true showman.

• 54:18Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  It knew what it was doing.

• 54:20Speaker 00

  He looked like a drunk bear.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was great.

• 54:22Speaker 00

  He just put a bunch of traffic cones on his head.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  If you had, if you gave me four guesses as to what type of bear was putting traffic cones on its head. To make viewers laugh at the zoo.

• 54:33Speaker 00

  Panda one.

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Panda's one.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  Brown.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  I, I think brown is number two. Black might be even number three.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  And then koala.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, you would never throw, polar bears are serious guys.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  They're all business.

• 54:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, they just fucking kill things.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:46Speaker 05

  Did he look like he was into it or was just routine? Like, did he know?

• 54:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, it looks like he just does it all the time.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  Oh, nice.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Having a great, uh, great time.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  Do you know in Alaska, there's certain towns in Alaska where they have to keep their snowmobile? You have to keep it on at all times in case there, a bear shows up. Like, so you can just jump on it and go.

• 55:01Speaker 05

  To go?

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was just a video I saw. It might not be real.

• 55:05Speaker 05

  Makes sense.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  Terry's just in the background getting, he's getting water. Yeah, yeah. We're doing the show. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, we're, we're doing a show right now.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  How, how'd Jerry and Terry go?

• 55:21Speaker 00

  This is the scene where.

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Also.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  You know what's crazy is like, so we're, we're on a little, uh, little trip here. And we're staying in this cabin and I walked in, I walked into my bedroom. You'll never guess in a million years, the theme of my bedroom.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Adam Dunn, pictures everywhere.

• 55:39Speaker 00

  That's sick.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. It was unreal.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  That's sick.

• 55:45Speaker 00

  I gotta go check it out. Zach and I haven't done mega bed yet. We gotta do mega bed.

• 55:50Speaker 05

  That is true. Yet to, yet to unite.

• 55:52Speaker 00

  Zach, Zach Sneaky, that was, that was kind of a weird move you pulled on me last night where like you guys. You guys planned on going to a strip club.

• 56:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I was like, I'm probably not gonna go.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  Came back in the room and I was like, oh, he's grabbing his stuff. And then like ten minutes went by. I was like, Zach, you're like, yeah? I was like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm about to go to sleep.

• 56:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, we decided not to go, so I, I went to bed. I didn't want.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  That was, I never, I never heard that.

• 56:18Speaker 05

  In my head, I was thinking it was just like not to, I, I didn't know if you were all the way asleep. I didn't want to wake you up. Cause I made that mistake before.

• 56:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, true, true, true. We had a good, we had a good, good work today.

• 56:27Speaker 05

  Didn't, uh, not too early? Worked out?

• 56:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, listen, I like getting woken up, uh, like I'm having a dream that I'm in Chernobyl with the nuclear reactor going off. It's a like fun thing to do.

• 56:38Speaker 05

  I, I can change the, the alert.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  Bomb alarm is a way, you really, you wake up. You do wake up when the bomb alarm goes off.

• 56:46Speaker 05

  Thought process was I, I made sure to lay on it last night.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  It's like, holy fuck, are we about to die?

• 56:53Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You, you laid on your alarm last night?

• 56:56Speaker 05

  I thought I could body muscle it.

• 56:57Speaker 00

  Muffled, yeah.

• 56:58Speaker 05

  So it wasn't like.

• 56:59Speaker 00

  He's right.

• 56:59Speaker 05

  I got decent mass, so I thought maybe like, like a suppressor.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  Like it, like it was an egg waiting to hatch?

• 57:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:05Speaker 05

  Kinda sorta.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, he did suppress it. Appreciate that.

• 57:08Speaker 02

  So you observed, like, did you feel the, the vibration of the sound?

• 57:11Speaker 05

  That was a big part of it.

• 57:12Speaker 00

  You don't have to do that for me.

• 57:14Speaker 05

  It, it felt fair.

• 57:14Speaker 00

  It was fun. It was time to get up anyway.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Jerry kept us up, like, we were out here for about two hours last night. He was getting ready to go to the strip club and, um, he just started telling stories. For about two hours, just incredible stories from Jerry. So good that he didn't even think about the strip club. He was just in the zone.

• 57:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. You know what's, what's.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Learned a lot about the guy.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  You know what's crazy is he told, uh, such great stories and had such a great night. He also forgot to give me back the four hundred dollars I gave him for the strip club. And also didn't mention that he was just not gonna give it back.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  I want the cash dude. What'd you do with the cash?

• 57:51Speaker 00

  I gave you four hundred dollars cash. How did, you spent the cash already? Just give me the cash back.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  No, I didn't spend the cash. I have the cash.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  So give me the cash. I don't want you to.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  I sent the PayPal.

• 58:01Speaker 00

  But I'd rather have the cash. I'm a cash's king guy.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I, I'd rather have the cash too.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  No, that's not, you can't do that. That's not fair.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  That was a good move.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  No, that's not a good move. Now I have to go to the ATM.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, because now I'm tipping people. I'm the tip.

• 58:14Speaker 00

  Yes, and now I don't have money to tip people, so I look like a fucking loser.

• 58:17Speaker 02

  So you literally just used him as an ATM?

• 58:19Speaker 00

  Yes. He said, I was about to go to bed and he goes, hey, Dee, you got any money on you? I'm going to a strip club. And I said, I'll, let me check. And I said, I have four hundred dollars cash. Here, take it. He's like, oh, okay. And then this morning I was like, how was the strip club? He's like, oh, I didn't go. He's like, where's my money?

• 58:33Speaker 02

  Wait, Jerry, did you ever have any intention of going to the strip club? Or did you just ask him for the four hundred buck and then you were just?

• 58:40Speaker 04

  No, no, like Zach, I was looking at Zach and it was like, we, we stay up late. We're late guys.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  And you're also strip club guys.

• 58:48Speaker 04

  We're also strip club guys, yes. And I'm like.

• 58:50Speaker 00

  Put two and two together.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  Let's do this thing, right? And then I hit up Dee and I'm like, Dee got, Dee always got cash. Let me hit up Dee. He got cash. Hit up Dee and then, and, and then we went to story time.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  And then it was over. From story time, everybody disappeared.

• 59:03Speaker 00

  Also, you, did you ever call the strip club back?

• 59:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're a scumbag dude.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Crazy move. That was a bad move.

• 59:10Speaker 00

  The strip club and the strip, he was like, what time do you guys close? And the guy was like, usually like three o'clock. But if it's, if there's not a lot of business, we close at like one or two. And Jerry just goes, oh, we'll be bringing business and then hung up. And then never went.

• 59:27Speaker 04

  We never went. Yeah.

• 59:29Speaker 00

  All right, so give me the money back. I, I'm not, I, I need the money to tip people.

• 59:32Speaker 04

  Okay, but then you.

• 59:33Speaker 00

  I will send you the money. I don't care, but you give me the cash. Did you already, how much did you cash?

• 59:38Speaker 04

  I, I, I send it to you.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, but how much cash did you already spend today?

• 59:43Speaker 04

  Hundred in tips?

• 59:43Speaker 00

  So you're just walking around tipping everyone. I can't tip anyone.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  Exactly, yeah.

• 59:46Speaker 00

  That's fucked up.

• 59:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I figured you'd always have more cash.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  No, I gave you all the cash I had.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  That's fair. Yeah, okay. So I'll give you back the cash, but then you gotta send me the other.

• 59:56Speaker 00

  I will send you back the money. Yes. Okay. All right. That was Jerry.

• 1:00:01Speaker 00

  All right, Zach.

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  In my, uh, cool throne this week is, uh, a quick one is Cristiano Ronaldo, cause he did, uh, indeed win the big one. Did you guys see that?

• 1:00:08Speaker 00

  Uh, what?

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  Uh, he got, he got married. Love. The biggest one you could win.

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, Giorgiano and Cristiano are now wedded together.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  Consentually?

• 1:00:17Speaker 05

  Great up. Completely consensual, smiling faces, rings on finger, holy matrimony, holy mattress moni and they have a beautiful blended family.

• 1:00:26Speaker 00

  What are they doing to the mattress?

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  Mattress moni.

• 1:00:28Speaker 05

  That too. I mean, they got two biological kids by them.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Mattress moni.

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  Mattress moni. That moni's getting fucked.

• 1:00:35Speaker 05

  Matrimony, matrimony.

• 1:00:37Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  Very cool.

• 1:00:38Speaker 00

  Good for him. So the only ring he's gonna get.

• 1:00:40Speaker 05

  Biggest, biggest, look, biggest ring, ring you can win is love, man. At the end of the day, if you don't got love.

• 1:00:47Speaker 05

  You don't got love.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  So also.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  It's very true. Firm straight. The guy only scores in the box.

• 1:00:57Speaker 05

  Big box guy.

• 1:00:58Speaker 00

  Pretty scumbag move by a Ronaldo fan to talk about love when, I mean, Messi had a loss in the family this week.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  You want to say RP Mr. Messi?

• 1:01:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, I would just like to say if anybody lost a loved one this week, rest in peace.

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  Okay, thank you.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  Including like specifically Messi.

• 1:01:14Speaker 05

  Specifically, yes.

• 1:01:18Speaker 05

  By no means does one. Two very separate things, one tragic, one beautiful. Rest in peace.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Over Ronaldo losses or like Ronaldo probably was like, oh, Messi lost his father. Let me get married real quick. Steal the story.

• 1:01:33Speaker 05

  They plan weddings months in advance.

• 1:01:36Speaker 00

  Uh, all right. Good, good hot seat, cool throne. Nice hiccup, Max. This is a good hiccup. That was a good hiccup.

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  You, you act like that was the first time you've heard me hiccup.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  No, it was a good hiccup. I. That was a good hiccup. Uh, let's do our Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore is brought to you by our friend, friends at Reese's. Reese's are the best candy in the world. If we did a Mount Rushmore of candy, Reese's would be number one. Listen, we went, I last night, you'll hear a little bit of, uh, in the Gruden interview because Zach came back from the grocery store. I told him I needed some ice cream. Guess what? He also brought back some Reese's pieces. He brought back some Reese's. He brought back, we have Reese's sticks in the fridge, which are so good. A little snap to them. Uh, Reese's peanut butter cups, the goat candy, they're the best candy out there. They're like the Carolina Hurricanes. They're like the New York Knicks. They're like.

• 1:02:30Speaker 00

  The Spain national team. They're the best of the best. They're the champions in candy. We love Reese's. We're eating it all the time because Reese's makes the best candy. Reese's is the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go to, go get Reese's wherever you shop. Today, okay. Listen, we've, uh, we've been, we've been running around. We're, we're on the road. So we're like, hey, let's do a Mount Rushmore, maybe a little right down the middle. Everyone can, uh. No Google, but everyone can, can think of stuff. So we're doing the Mount Rushmore of purple things. In honor of J J McCarthy, uh, right now. The standings are, um, Big Cat memes, Max forty seven, P F T thirty five, Hank and Zach thirty two. Hank also here's, he's coming back thirty two for Hank and Zach.

• 1:03:15Speaker 00

  Mount Rushmore of purple things. Who has the first pick?

• 1:03:19Speaker 04

  So we picked second. And I believe P F T picks first. Pick bacon. Third.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  I took bacon, the, yeah, third overall.

• 1:03:31Speaker 02

  So I get to go first.

• 1:03:33Speaker 00

  By the way, P F T just played out loud last night when we were sitting here, the, the pizza toppings. Mount Rushmore, because it came across his algorithm and it was. Got quiet in this room.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, Hank got pretty upset.

• 1:03:45Speaker 00

  I felt awkward. You didn't get upset, but I felt awkward.

• 1:03:48Speaker 05

  I didn't say anything. I could have cared less.

• 1:03:51Speaker 00

  I didn't want to play it. It was, it was me.

• 1:03:53Speaker 05

  I was not upset. I didn't, I didn't say a word.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  To be honest with you, I'd forgotten because I don't listen back to it. I'd forgotten that. Hank had cheated at that Mount Rushmore by having Bubba make his picks for him and he was confessing to us. That Bubba made the picks when we confessed. That we threw the Mount Rushmore. It was double confession. It was a great moment.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  Just guys being honest.

• 1:04:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was talking. That was, that's what the clip said.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  Purple things, uh, Hank and Zach, do you guys feel like you have a good handle on it? Okay, good.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Extremely purple right now.

• 1:04:27Speaker 00

  All right, uh. P F T, you have the first pick. Purple things.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  I'm gonna take grape jelly. Number one.

• 1:04:36Speaker 00

  And by the way, again, we did no Google, so we're definitely going to miss some very obvious ones. Super obvious ones.

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  Grape jelly. I thought about other grape things. I think grape jelly is, is truly the iconic purple grape thing.

• 1:04:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd agree.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  Nothing like a grape jelly Uncrustable two.

• 1:04:53Speaker 00

  Uh, okay.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  I think. Our one, our one, one will definitely. Get in the second round, but do you think that we could get, do you think that there's a chance that they pick seventeen in the first?

• 1:05:05Speaker 00

  I don't know. All right, yeah, take, take seventeen.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  But it looks worse taking.

• 1:05:13Speaker 00

  No, fuck it.

• 1:05:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, do it.

• 1:05:17Speaker 04

  We're gonna go Taco Bell.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  Taco Bell. It's purple.

• 1:05:22Speaker 05

  What's purple?

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  The logo and everything. The app. You want us to take Taco Bell app?

• 1:05:29Speaker 00

  We would let, in full disclosure, we did not Google. We did struggle with this without Google. Max, we just started looking what apps are purple.

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  I do have a Taco Bell app on my phone.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  I just Googled Taco Bell.

• 1:05:46Speaker 00

  Taco Bell app is purple.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  This is Taco Bell.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's purple.

• 1:05:51Speaker 00

  Do you want us to?

• 1:05:55Speaker 00

  It's purple.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  It's purple.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  I think it's a good pick.

• 1:05:58Speaker 00

  What do you, do you want us to?

• 1:06:01Speaker 05

  Good pick. It doesn't matter because we're gonna be outvoted, so.

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  Like if, if it was Mount Rushmore of golden things and we took McDonald's, that would be.

• 1:06:09Speaker 00

  We have a few more apps.

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  I didn't think about looking at apps.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  We came up with like eleven purple things and like four of them were like, ah, so we're like, we gotta find some more. Okay.

• 1:06:30Speaker 05

  All right, uh, we have the two we wanted. Purple haze. And transfusions.

• 1:06:37Speaker 00

  Ooh, good pick.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  Good pick, good picks.

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  Purple haze being.

• 1:06:41Speaker 05

  Weed.

• 1:06:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:06:43Speaker 00

  Okay, not, we're not drug guys.

• 1:06:46Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:06:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Speaker 05

  But if we were. Purple haze.

• 1:06:49Speaker 00

  Good, uh, good audible there because we will now take. Purple heart. The medal. I mean, thank you to all of our troops, chaps. Yeah. I mean, it's the highest medal you can get, is it not?

• 1:07:02Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Speaker 05

  Good, yeah, great pick.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  Good pick.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:07:06Speaker 05

  Probably shouldn't have fallen.

• 1:07:07Speaker 00

  Well. We didn't think you were gonna think of the, the troops.

• 1:07:12Speaker 05

  No, we didn't.

• 1:07:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was, Max made a smart move. P F T was gonna probably think of the troops.

• 1:07:17Speaker 04

  What I was thinking is what are, what are the chances that Hank thinks of Taco Bell or Purple Heart?

• 1:07:28Speaker 00

  But yeah, that, would you not say that you would think of Taco Bell before the troops?

• 1:07:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, I didn't think of either of them, so.

• 1:07:36Speaker 00

  More, which one do you think of more?

• 1:07:38Speaker 05

  Taco Bell.

• 1:07:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think of the troops more.

• 1:07:40Speaker 05

  That's good, good pick.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  I'm gonna take, um, Shock just made it back to me. Purple rain.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  Yep, I was hoping we were gonna get it with our next.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Purple rain. I think, I think it might be the best song.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  We could have taken Taco Bell so late.

• 1:07:53Speaker 04

  No, we could have taken purple, we could have taken purple. I think we could have taken Purple Heart later.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  I was gonna go Purple Heart, Purple Rain.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, I was hoping to go Purple Heart.

• 1:08:04Speaker 00

  No, P F T was definitely gonna get a part.

• 1:08:07Speaker 00

  Okay, good pick. We had it.

• 1:08:12Speaker 05

  Don't do it, P F T.

• 1:08:13Speaker 00

  Do it, P F T. Do it. There's not a lot of purple things.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  I know, I know, I'm running low.

• 1:08:19Speaker 00

  Do it.

• 1:08:21Speaker 00

  We might have it on our list.

• 1:08:24Speaker 00

  So if you don't do it, we're gonna do it.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  I'm gonna take.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  I'm gonna take Purple Haze, the song.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  I thought that's where Hank, Hank was going.

• 1:08:42Speaker 00

  So it will say Purple Haze parentheses, the song. Is that fair?

• 1:08:47Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:08:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  I think it's, uh. It's one of the songs changed rock music.

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  Or the rest of our purple things suck.

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  I like, uh.

• 1:08:58Speaker 00

  Fourteen, all right. Uh, purple Doritos.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  My favorite Dorito.

• 1:09:04Speaker 00

  Really good Doritos. That's a good pick.

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Which flavor is that?

• 1:09:09Speaker 00

  Uh, it's like the sweet chili.

• 1:09:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, sweet and spicy chili.

• 1:09:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's really good, really fucking good.

• 1:09:15Speaker 05

  Uh, we're gonna go with Vince Carter Raptors jersey.

• 1:09:18Speaker 00

  Oh, we had it. Pick. Good pick. We had it.

• 1:09:24Speaker 05

  Zach?

• 1:09:25Speaker 04

  I didn't think that, I didn't think.

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  There's not a lot of purple things.

• 1:09:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  So Vince Carter's Raptors jersey definitely is on the list.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  You think, you think eight, or do you think the?

• 1:09:36Speaker 05

  The bottom.

• 1:09:37Speaker 04

  The question mark?

• 1:09:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, or we're gonna go with wine?

• 1:09:40Speaker 00

  Oh, that's a wow. We didn't even have wine on our list.

• 1:09:44Speaker 04

  Well, no, well.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  I thought about wine.

• 1:09:46Speaker 05

  If Taco Bell's purple, then so is wine.

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  How would you?

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  It's red.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  What kind of wine are you talking about?

• 1:09:54Speaker 00

  I think wine is purple.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  No, I'm willing to give it to you too, but it's literally called red wine. Like, I think you may need to put red wine on, on the list.

• 1:10:02Speaker 05

  It's wine, dude.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  Red wine is purple.

• 1:10:04Speaker 00

  Or you have to put purple wine.

• 1:10:06Speaker 05

  Here's a question, Max. The expression's, let's open up some grape. What color are grapes?

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  I think they're called, they're called red grapes.

• 1:10:12Speaker 04

  They say, let's open up some red wine. No.

• 1:10:14Speaker 05

  It's, let's open up.

• 1:10:16Speaker 00

  So you should put purple wine?

• 1:10:18Speaker 05

  No, just wine.

• 1:10:20Speaker 04

  Red, I'll give you red wine.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  I think it's white grapes and red grapes, right?

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  Because white wine certainly isn't purple. Red wine, you could make the argument, is purple.

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  I think that's the argument he's making.

• 1:10:30Speaker 05

  Pick is wine.

• 1:10:30Speaker 00

  Hold on.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  The pick is.

• 1:10:32Speaker 00

  I'm Googling it.

• 1:10:34Speaker 04

  Red, red wine is a good pick.

• 1:10:35Speaker 00

  Wine can be purple.

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  For red.

• 1:10:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:37Speaker 04

  Red wine.

• 1:10:38Speaker 05

  Half the scale of wine colors is like deep purple.

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:10:42Speaker 04

  What about?

• 1:10:43Speaker 05

  I'm just going off color wheel. I'm not like.

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  But.

• 1:10:45Speaker 05

  Somalia, I'm not Somalia either, but this is.

• 1:10:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think, I think wine might be purple.

• 1:10:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, red wine's purple.

• 1:10:53Speaker 05

  Taco Bell's, Taco Bell's purple and white. You, would you want to take the outer rim of the Taco Bell app, like?

• 1:10:59Speaker 04

  It's all, it's actually like all purple.

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  Purple haze is purple and green. Are you just?

• 1:11:04Speaker 05

  No, I, I gotta get straight perp.

• 1:11:06Speaker 00

  No, you don't. You definitely have green on your perp.

• 1:11:08Speaker 05

  No, no, no.

• 1:11:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:11:10Speaker 05

  Not that's.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's, you, show me a picture, you're a perp. Show me a picture, you're a straight perp.

• 1:11:15Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:11:15Speaker 00

  There's definitely other colors in there.

• 1:11:17Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 1:11:17Speaker 00

  A hundred percent.

• 1:11:18Speaker 05

  Some orange hairs.

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  Show me it, show me it. Show me, show me purple haze. Show me the straight perp, that you're, that you're smoking. And I'll, I'll agree with you.

• 1:11:26Speaker 04

  I agree that red wine is purple.

• 1:11:29Speaker 00

  Okay. Red wine is purple.

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  It is. Red wine, red wine is a good pick.

• 1:11:34Speaker 00

  Oh, what's that green? What's that yellow?

• 1:11:37Speaker 05

  That's perp.

• 1:11:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's, that's other colors. So red wine is the pick?

• 1:11:42Speaker 05

  Wine.

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  Now they could have wine.

• 1:11:44Speaker 00

  Red wine?

• 1:11:45Speaker 04

  Red wine.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  Some people might not know that you're talking about red wine, though.

• 1:11:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's true.

• 1:11:50Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  They might think you're talking about white wine. They'll be like.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, they'll be like, wow.

• 1:11:53Speaker 00

  Wine.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  No, why? Red wine is definitely purple, but it is, it is, it is red wine.

• 1:11:58Speaker 00

  What the fuck do we do now, boys?

• 1:12:00Speaker 04

  Um.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  One?

• 1:12:03Speaker 04

  Five, five is funny.

• 1:12:05Speaker 00

  Five is funny. One? Five?

• 1:12:08Speaker 04

  One is weird.

• 1:12:09Speaker 00

  Seven, eight? Come on, memes. Get in the fight. Get in the fight.

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  I think eight.

• 1:12:17Speaker 00

  You wanna go eight?

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  Well, no, no, no, he's biased.

• 1:12:20Speaker 00

  He is biased.

• 1:12:22Speaker 04

  No, this is a very well-recognized thing.

• 1:12:26Speaker 00

  He is well-recognized.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  Sounds like he's biased.

• 1:12:30Speaker 04

  Well, you could also do.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  What about four?

• 1:12:33Speaker 04

  You also do thirteen.

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:12:36Speaker 00

  Nah.

• 1:12:36Speaker 04

  No?

• 1:12:37Speaker 00

  Nah.

• 1:12:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:42Speaker 04

  All right, we'll do grimace.

• 1:12:43Speaker 00

  Grimace. Grimace is very purple.

• 1:12:45Speaker 04

  He's as purple as it gets.

• 1:12:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. Couldn't be more purple. You okay with that? Cause his eyes, I think, might be white.

• 1:12:52Speaker 05

  It's fine, yeah.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  You sure?

• 1:12:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:53Speaker 00

  Okay. We're not, we're not taking red grimace. We're taking grimace.

• 1:12:57Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:12:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:00Speaker 04

  You guys taking the shake or the character?

• 1:13:02Speaker 02

  I forgot about the grimace shake.

• 1:13:05Speaker 00

  We're taking the character, but we shouldn't have taken the shake.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:13:11Speaker 00

  They already, they're out of picks.

• 1:13:14Speaker 00

  They took red wine.

• 1:13:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  It happens.

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go with the eggplant emoji.

• 1:13:24Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:13:24Speaker 04

  It's a good pick.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  Eggplant emoji for the last one.

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  Gotta get horny somewhere.

• 1:13:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's iconic. Literally.

• 1:13:30Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  On the graphic, do you want it to be the?

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  I want the egg, the actual emoji itself.

• 1:13:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 1:13:37Speaker 02

  Is that okay?

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm cool with that.

• 1:13:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:13:40Speaker 00

  All right, things we missed. I thought you were gonna take purple hosier.

• 1:13:43Speaker 02

  I had.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  You're not a big purple hosier fan?

• 1:13:45Speaker 02

  I had him on the list.

• 1:13:46Speaker 00

  You would have taken him if you were a big purple hosier.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  Perfect, yeah.

• 1:13:49Speaker 05

  Purple nerpel?

• 1:13:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what we were thinking about.

• 1:13:52Speaker 00

  You were gonna argue about it. Purple nerpel.

• 1:13:54Speaker 05

  No, it's a good pick.

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:13:55Speaker 05

  Way more purple than, than.

• 1:13:57Speaker 00

  Red wine?

• 1:13:58Speaker 05

  Taco Bell.

• 1:13:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, red wine. I had purple drank.

• 1:14:00Speaker 04

  Purple, I mean.

• 1:14:01Speaker 00

  Purple drank we had. Vikings helmet.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:05Speaker 04

  I don't understand what Hank is not understanding about Taco Bell logo being purple.

• 1:14:10Speaker 05

  Well, you took just Taco Bell.

• 1:14:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's purple.

• 1:14:12Speaker 04

  It's purple.

• 1:14:13Speaker 05

  Taco, the logo. You took, but. You just took a restaurant.

• 1:14:17Speaker 00

  Do you want us to just do the logo, like PFT's doing the eggplant emoji?

• 1:14:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, do you want us to just put the logo in there?

• 1:14:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, we could do the logo.

• 1:14:24Speaker 05

  Just, or just Taco Bell logo.

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  I'll do that if you do red wine. I'm willing to make that trade.

• 1:14:31Speaker 00

  Well, it should be Taco Bell app.

• 1:14:33Speaker 04

  No, I like logo, but logo is, is better.

• 1:14:37Speaker 00

  So you guys take red wine, we take Taco Bell logo?

• 1:14:40Speaker 05

  You like that trade, Zach?

• 1:14:41Speaker 04

  If you're on, I'm in.

• 1:14:42Speaker 05

  Okay. Deal.

• 1:14:44Speaker 04

  He does not like that trade. His eyes lit up. No, that's not fair. That's not fair.

• 1:14:48Speaker 00

  Zach, stand up for yourself.

• 1:14:50Speaker 04

  I'm in on that trade. I'm in on that trade.

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  Ravens purple camo pants?

• 1:14:54Speaker 00

  Yep, had it. Thought you were gonna take it.

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:14:57Speaker 00

  Sweet potatoes?

• 1:14:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, people forget.

• 1:15:00Speaker 00

  Eggplant.

• 1:15:01Speaker 05

  Onions, Shane, sorry.

• 1:15:03Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, purple onions.

• 1:15:06Speaker 05

  Game.

• 1:15:07Speaker 00

  Donatello.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  Red onions would have been a good pick.

• 1:15:09Speaker 00

  Red onions would have been a good pick. Uh, Barney the dinosaur.

• 1:15:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:15:13Speaker 00

  Uh, I think that's all.

• 1:15:14Speaker 04

  Max said, Max said that was weird. You just said that Barney's not weird. Barney's a very popular children's character.

• 1:15:22Speaker 05

  Did Barney do something to you?

• 1:15:23Speaker 04

  No, Barney was my guy.

• 1:15:25Speaker 05

  No, I'm telling Max, like, why is, how's Barney weird?

• 1:15:28Speaker 02

  Max hates Barney. I think to the list, J.J. Reddick and Barney.

• 1:15:32Speaker 00

  The, uh, Apple Podcast app?

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  That was, that was in our app search.

• 1:15:38Speaker 00

  The iMovie app?

• 1:15:42Speaker 00

  The soundboard app, the Twitch app, uh.

• 1:15:45Speaker 05

  Way fair.

• 1:15:46Speaker 00

  The Shopify app.

• 1:15:48Speaker 05

  Nugs.net.

• 1:15:49Speaker 00

  Nugs, I have nugs.

• 1:15:50Speaker 04

  The iTunes store.

• 1:15:51Speaker 00

  I got nugs.

• 1:15:52Speaker 05

  I'm looking.

• 1:15:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, uh, Moonshot, whatever that was.

• 1:15:56Speaker 04

  Oh, Touch Tunes.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  You know, Touch Tunes, big miss.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  Big miss. Uh, the James Madison Dukes?

• 1:16:03Speaker 04

  Discord.

• 1:16:04Speaker 00

  TCU's Horned Frogs?

• 1:16:09Speaker 00

  Uh, that's purple.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Lavender.

• 1:16:12Speaker 00

  I said Willy Wonka, but they said he's a creep.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:16:15Speaker 00

  He, he wears like a big purple, like, uh. He wears a purple.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  Suit and hat, right?

• 1:16:21Speaker 00

  Something. He's kind of a creep.

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  Orchids.

• 1:16:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, you have to admit.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  Tulips.

• 1:16:26Speaker 00

  Willy Wonka.

• 1:16:27Speaker 02

  Violets.

• 1:16:28Speaker 00

  If Willy, in today's internet.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  A lot of good flowers, yeah.

• 1:16:31Speaker 00

  In today's internet, Willy Wonka would definitely have, like, some dudes rolling up on him at the grocery store and being like, hey, you're a pedophile.

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  I mean, he did a contest to invite a bunch of kids to his factory.

• 1:16:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 04

  Great point.

• 1:16:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, like that one, do you guys remember that one pedophile hunters video where the guy's threw a, a pumpkin at the guy's head?

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 1:16:57Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 1:16:58Speaker 00

  It was crazy. Uh, all right, uh, what else?

• 1:17:02Speaker 04

  Purple rain, futures mixtape.

• 1:17:05Speaker 05

  Hmm, that's a much better pick.

• 1:17:07Speaker 00

  Wait, you thought of it?

• 1:17:08Speaker 04

  I just Googled it now, but that's what I was thinking of it.

• 1:17:11Speaker 00

  We were just sitting there and meme just kept on saying, what's the future thing? And Max and I were like, we don't know. And he's like, we can't use Google. And we're like, we don't know what you're talking about, dude. He's like, there's a future. So, yeah, that.

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  It's a really good mixtape.

• 1:17:26Speaker 00

  It's a really good mixtape. You should check it out. Uh, I think that's everything.

• 1:17:30Speaker 04

  Mewtwo?

• 1:17:33Speaker 04

  Pokemon?

• 1:17:34Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  GameCube.

• 1:17:35Speaker 00

  Wait, what did you say?

• 1:17:36Speaker 04

  Mewtwo.

• 1:17:37Speaker 00

  Mewtwo?

• 1:17:38Speaker 04

  Mewtwo feels pretty purple.

• 1:17:39Speaker 00

  I didn't know what Mewtwo was. I thought you said YouTube.

• 1:17:42Speaker 04

  Thoughts on the Frosted Animal Crackers?

• 1:17:44Speaker 00

  The what?

• 1:17:44Speaker 04

  Frosted Animal Crackers?

• 1:17:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, those are good. Those are good.

• 1:17:49Speaker 02

  What about like Grape Jolly Rancher?

• 1:17:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, grape soda.

• 1:17:53Speaker 05

  Lean.

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  I, I had purple drank, yeah.

• 1:17:57Speaker 00

  Um, that's purple. We, that's a tough color to do.

• 1:18:01Speaker 04

  Waluigi.

• 1:18:02Speaker 00

  Purple. There's a, there's a movie, but that was another one we couldn't think of.

• 1:18:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, color purple.

• 1:18:06Speaker 00

  Color purple, yeah. We, none of us had seen it, so whoops.

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  So, not, not really a light watch.

• 1:18:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:18:15Speaker 02

  Pretty.

• 1:18:16Speaker 00

  Are you gonna, are you gonna see Stand By Me before? Partial camp?

• 1:18:22Speaker 05

  I guess.

• 1:18:23Speaker 00

  All right, so that's a no.

• 1:18:24Speaker 05

  I will.

• 1:18:27Speaker 05

  Again.

• 1:18:29Speaker 00

  Again, for a second time. All right. Good morning, Ross Moore. All right. We got John Gruden, and then we're going to finish with Pardon Your Take.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  Before we get to Coach Gruden, he's brought to you by EA Sports. From campus legend to NFL superstar, make your rise across the MVP bundle. It includes the deluxe edition of both games, plus bundle exclusive rewards. Dominate Madden NFL 27 with 4,600 Madden points and one Ultimate Team Evo player item. Turn every touch into a highlight in EA Sports College Football 27, plus the 4,600 college football points and one upgradable Ultimate Team player item. Run the league one decision at a time in EA Sports Madden NFL 27 for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series XS, Nintendo Switch 2 and PC powered by the all-new Persona Engine.

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  In EA Sports College Football 27 for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series XS and PC, you can step into the modern era of college football. Engineer your team. You got Dynasty Blueprint. Take on new positions, deeper customization. You got Road to Glory. You can play as your favorite mascots, too, in Mascot Mashup. Make your rise with the MVP Bundle. It's available now. And Coach Gruden is also brought to you by our great friends over at YouTube. There's no worse feeling than missing out on NFL Sunday. Seeing people talk about plays you didn't get to see. Your fantasy running back scored two touchdowns, and you find out 10 minutes later. Your local broadcaster isn't carrying your hometown team's game. Sir, piecing together

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  the action from alerts, highlights, and texts. That's not how Sundays are supposed to work. We don't want you stuck with it. Sunday NFL FOMO. That's why there's NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV. Every game, every Sunday, all in one place. And the best part? Multi-view. You can throw up to four games on the screen at the same time, which is honestly how football was meant to be watched. No flipping channels every 30 seconds, no refreshing your phone because Twitter saw it before you did. Nobody wants to hear about the insane play five minutes later. You want it to be there when it happens because the NFL isn't about hearing what happened. It's about experiencing it when it happens. New users pay $240 or eight non-cancelable

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  payments of $30 a month. First charge of purchase. Availability varies. With NFL Sunday Ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local and national games. YouTube TV required. Terms, restrictions, and embargoes apply. Commercial use excluded. No refunds. And now, here's Coach Gruden.

• 1:21:00Speaker 00

  Okay, we now welcome on two very special guests. It's Coach John Gruden, our good friend, and his lackey, his errand boy, Jake Malasek, who he might not say anything, but I want, I love having Malasek around. How, let's start with that. How, how's Malasek doing? He's two years into the job.

• 1:21:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:21:19Speaker 00

  How's he doing? We're going to talk football, but how's he doing overall?

• 1:21:23Speaker 05

  You know, Big Cat, I've had this philosophy many years. You either get better or worse. You don't stay the same. Jake is getting better.

• 1:21:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:21:30Speaker 05

  I mean, his technical, technological skills are unbelievable.

• 1:21:34Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:21:34Speaker 05

  Work ethic has improved and improved. We've had one incident. He missed a flight.

• 1:21:40Speaker 00

  Oh, what happened there?

• 1:21:41Speaker 05

  We disciplined him. Doesn't.

• 1:21:42Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:21:44Speaker 05

  But other than that, he's been stellar. He's gotten better. You know, good attitude and very good work ethic and creativity, imagination is very, very impressive.

• 1:21:53Speaker 02

  What about some of the rumors and allegations that occasionally there will be a tweet or something posted from your account, and it's very much pro UVA?

• 1:22:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Speaker 02

  Or very much pro lacrosse?

• 1:22:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Allegations that it might be ghostwritten by Jake Malasek and not necessarily signed off.

• 1:22:06Speaker 05

  He has jumped.

• 1:22:07Speaker 00

  Or just a random highlight of Jake Malasek playing beer league hockey?

• 1:22:10Speaker 05

  Exactly. He's encouraged me to coach the beer league hockey team. I have become a lacrosse fan. So he has helped me transition into a bigger perspective in life, but it's all been cool, man. It's all been very good and rejuvenating for me.

• 1:22:25Speaker 00

  Okay, the very important question. If you, and we love you at Barstool, we never want you to leave because I, I really do think you at Barstool has been like just home run incredible. You, your buy-in, just every, being around you, talking football. It's just the best. But if, let's just say hypothetically, you got a job coaching football again, is Jake Malasek going with you?

• 1:22:47Speaker 05

  Jake would be the first guy gone, man. You, you know, you're, you're untouchable. You two guys are untouchable. Malasek, I had a coach as an assistant who set the travel for the team. You know, he helped put the schedules in place. He thought outside the box, gave me some creative ideas. You gotta have another guy.

• 1:23:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:06Speaker 05

  It's like your eyes in the back of your head, a guy that can help motivate you and encourage you. You gotta have that guy. But he's in, he's part of my family. This is like an adopted son now.

• 1:23:16Speaker 00

  Okay, so.

• 1:23:17Speaker 05

  So I mean, he's become a very valuable asset to my wife and I and my sons.

• 1:23:22Speaker 00

  I love to hear that. Where would you rank Justin Herbert in your top 100 players right now?

• 1:23:29Speaker 05

  He's not in my top 100 until, until they win a playoff game. I'm just not happy with the yellow pants. He knows how I feel about their uniforms. I hate the Chargers to start with.

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  Candy ass.

• 1:23:39Speaker 05

  It's my least favorite team, the Falcons and the Chargers, for obvious reasons. I cannot stand the uniforms. And that's the only thing that irritates me about Jake, is his allegiance to the Chargers.

• 1:23:53Speaker 00

  But he doesn't even have, he, when the top 100 came out, Malasek, I think Justin Herbert was ranked 39th, and Malasek said 38 spots too high.

• 1:24:05Speaker 02

  Oh, wait. So that means he should have been 70, 70, 70.

• 1:24:08Speaker 05

  Jake answered these. I mean, go ahead. I debated that phrasing for an hour.

• 1:24:12Speaker 02

  And you still got it wrong. You lost yourself.

• 1:24:14Speaker 05

  Blew it.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  You lost that debate.

• 1:24:16Speaker 05

  He's higher up on the list than one.

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  Uh, Coach, let me ask you this. Have you ever had a quarterback that, that canoodles with his girlfriend after practice?

• 1:24:23Speaker 05

  I have not had that.

• 1:24:25Speaker 02

  Okay. What did you think? Is it too much canoodling?

• 1:24:29Speaker 05

  I just think there's a time and a place for this.

• 1:24:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:31Speaker 05

  You know, I think, I don't know. I, I have a real, I'm an old school coach. It's, it's not the old time anymore. I understand that. You're a Joe Burrow fan, though, yeah?

• 1:24:42Speaker 00

  They had a little bit more separation. They weren't canoodling the same strength.

• 1:24:47Speaker 05

  Just saying.

• 1:24:48Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:24:49Speaker 05

  I don't know. It seems like the Chargers were talking about the new offensive coordinator's shoes and his pants he wears, instead of the real shit that matters. You know, and that's typical for Malasek and where he comes from. He's, he's had a silver spoon in his mouth quite a long time.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  Let's talk about some of the stuff that matters with the Chargers. I know you hate the uniform. You hate the canoodling. You hate the Malasek fixation. But when it comes to the offense, I, I feel like McDaniel's been a pretty good offensive coordinator in the past. Like his, his offenses, even in, when he was a head coach in Miami, and going back to the times in, in San Francisco, the man can coach offense. So I think there's, there's reason to believe in him.

• 1:25:33Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, his first year, they were number one in the league in offense.

• 1:25:36Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:25:37Speaker 05

  70 points against the Denver Broncos. Everybody remembers that. But it's been a slow decline every year. They paid Tua 250 million under his watch, and Tua was kicked out of town. So you have to take responsibility where responsibility is due. And the bottom line is, they didn't get better, they got worse, for whatever the reason. And I'm just saying, it just sounds like we're talking uniforms, girlfriends combing their hair, coaches and their shoes and their Capri pants they wear.

• 1:26:06Speaker 00

  Yep, not football.

• 1:26:07Speaker 05

  Instead of Joe Alt at right tackle, is he healthy? Christian Slater, is he going to come off the ball and mall people? Is the new center going to kick people's ass? And I want to know about Omerion Hampton. What happened to all these Chargers that got hurt last year? Every player was hurt.

• 1:26:23Speaker 00

  These are all good points.

• 1:26:24Speaker 05

  I want to know.

• 1:26:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right. So I have a question for you about training camp because we're deep into training camp right now. As a football coach, and you coached a Super Bowl winning team, you coached some teams that, you know, finished not great. How quickly can a coach figure out, like, this is a special team, or holy shit, we're going to be in for it this year. We're going to get, we're going to be uphill battle all year long?

• 1:26:47Speaker 05

  I, I think pretty quick.

• 1:26:49Speaker 00

  Is it like the first week of training camp that you're like, all right, we don't have the guys? Or we got them?

• 1:26:54Speaker 05

  I think after you go through the OTAs before training camp starts, you know, we got a pretty good team.

• 1:26:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:00Speaker 05

  We got some depth. We got some guys that can rush the passer and close out the game on defense. We got a quarterback. We got some continuity. We have a good staff. We have some mental toughness. We have what we need to really be a factor every week in the lateness season. So I think you got a pretty good idea. Or you're a coach that says, holy cow, man.

• 1:27:21Speaker 00

  It's a problem.

• 1:27:22Speaker 05

  You know, we got to develop this. We got to put this fire out. We hope this comes through. And, you know, that's, that's the reality of several teams that I know of right now.

• 1:27:30Speaker 00

  And, and in terms of mental toughness, what is, how do you like gain it as a team? Is it just trial by fire? Is it you have to go through the wars to get that mental toughness? Or is it something that you can, you know, simulate, so to speak, in training camp to get them to a point where it's like this team now feels mentally tough?

• 1:27:49Speaker 05

  I think you got to coach it. I think you got to really talk about misery and adversity. They're our best friend. You got to let your guys, we love when we're behind. We love when it's hot. We love the negative. In the media, you gotta really train your team and talk about adversity and it really does help when you have a nucleus of players that are badasses that you know are savages that will be there for you when you're down 10 points when the fourth quarter starts.

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:16Speaker 05

  Guys that are clutch. I call them grinders, Gruden grinders. They're versatile. They're, they can adapt. They're relentless. They're clutch and they're mentally tough.

• 1:28:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:26Speaker 05

  And some guys are and some guys aren't. And the way we're training young people now is a concern because they're taking the best offer. They're transferring colleges, but I think you gotta recruit that. You gotta develop that. You gotta have that if you're gonna be a championship team.

• 1:28:42Speaker 02

  Is Jacob Gruden grinder?

• 1:28:43Speaker 05

  He is a grinder.

• 1:28:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:28:46Speaker 00

  I give Malicek a hard time. I do love him and I think he works very hard.

• 1:28:50Speaker 05

  And I think we need to turn this conversation. You see that book right there?

• 1:28:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:53Speaker 05

  Look at these two rock stars.

• 1:28:55Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:28:55Speaker 00

  Book.

• 1:28:55Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:28:56Speaker 00

  Book.

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  Can you believe it?

• 1:28:57Speaker 05

  We worry. Yeah, we, the only thing we worry about is we're in Florida. We're just a branch. The Barstool is like this huge redwood tree and we're just a little tiny branch off to the right.

• 1:29:09Speaker 02

  Important.

• 1:29:09Speaker 05

  You two guys.

• 1:29:11Speaker 02

  You're a mighty.

• 1:29:11Speaker 05

  You're the big reason that I, I really wanted to come here. I mean, I, I like the way we do things.

• 1:29:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:17Speaker 05

  But now I see this coming off the Portnoy book.

• 1:29:21Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:29:21Speaker 05

  And I've started to think, I don't know, man, is this, is this, is this?

• 1:29:26Speaker 02

  Are we a book company now?

• 1:29:27Speaker 00

  Have you written a book?

• 1:29:28Speaker 05

  Well, after we won the Super Bowl.

• 1:29:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do. Okay. Hold on.

• 1:29:33Speaker 05

  Is this, what is the book? What is the? What is the genesis of this?

• 1:29:38Speaker 02

  I like that. You like everything about Barstool, but now you're like, this might be too many books.

• 1:29:43Speaker 05

  How many times did you use the one vowel in there that I, the I vowel? How many?

• 1:29:48Speaker 02

  I?

• 1:29:48Speaker 05

  We're gonna count them.

• 1:29:49Speaker 02

  We did a lot of we.

• 1:29:50Speaker 05

  How many I's?

• 1:29:51Speaker 02

  It's actually, I would say it's probably way more we than I in that book.

• 1:29:56Speaker 00

  And it also, listen, it wasn't, it wasn't the easiest task to write a book. We're not the smartest guys.

• 1:30:01Speaker 05

  And me and Jake, we flew in, we had a tough flight. We got bombarded. We had delays. We're on this show and the first thing we see is that.

• 1:30:09Speaker 00

  That book.

• 1:30:10Speaker 02

  Book staring in his face.

• 1:30:10Speaker 00

  Week next week. So we gotta get everyone ready. Buy on Amazon.

• 1:30:14Speaker 05

  Could we get an explanation? Like what is this book about?

• 1:30:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, 10 year anniversary. 10 year anniversary. 10 years of doing Pardon My Take. So essentially, this is actually a great promo. Thank you for doing this. Uh, how to create a number one podcast for 10 years. Uh, and they're very specific, uh, rules like, you know, uh, have Kyle Wiltshire come on the show and say that Adam Morrison has an apocalypse bunker within the first few months. Like things that you can definitely repeat for all the young podcasters out there. But no, it's cool. It's, it's, it's our, it's PFT, our relationship when we first met, getting Hank involved, Barstool Van Talk, COVID, and then we got a bunch of our favorite people, uh, write in who, who've been on the show for a decade, you know, J.J. Watt, Scott Van Pelt, all these guys wrote chapters.

• 1:30:59Speaker 02

  So we got these guys, memes, Max wrote a chapter, Hank wrote a chapter.

• 1:31:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. I have my 10 rules to gambling in there.

• 1:31:06Speaker 02

  I did a list, a top 10 list of the best fullbacks of all time.

• 1:31:10Speaker 00

  I did my parenting advice.

• 1:31:11Speaker 05

  That's all $3.99.

• 1:31:13Speaker 00

  Yep, there it is.

• 1:31:14Speaker 02

  You can steal it.

• 1:31:14Speaker 00

  There it is.

• 1:31:15Speaker 02

  Steal it.

• 1:31:15Speaker 00

  Pictures. And we got, don't worry, we got, listen, this book is meant to be read on the shitter because we made the chapters as small as, as short as possible, uh, quick stories. So it's not gonna hurt anyone's.

• 1:31:27Speaker 02

  The pages are soft, so if you run out of teepee, just rip it out.

• 1:31:30Speaker 00

  Rip it out. We actually made a toilet paper page.

• 1:31:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 1:31:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:34Speaker 00

  Pretty good stuff.

• 1:31:34Speaker 05

  I encourage everybody to get that book.

• 1:31:37Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:31:37Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:31:38Speaker 05

  I remember the first time I got on your show, honestly, and it was like, you have to come on at 3 o'clock or we can't get you on for another seven and a half weeks. People don't understand. It is hard to get on this show.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:31:52Speaker 05

  And I mean, there's, there's political people, there's high shot, hot shots from different walks of life.

• 1:31:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:58Speaker 05

  What you guys have done for 10 years, it's.

• 1:32:01Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:32:01Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 1:32:02Speaker 05

  Something we need to try to.

• 1:32:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:03Speaker 05

  Make more to go. Need to try to duplicate.

• 1:32:05Speaker 00

  And we are, and, and we're a testament to you can do it. Uh, you can have this success by be in, still be mentally weak because we are mentally weak. We'll fold shop the minute we hit adversity. If we hit a little adversity, we'll be like, all right, we'll try again tomorrow.

• 1:32:19Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm looking forward to seeing how you, uh, you and your brother doing the podcast. Are you guys gonna do a podcast together or what's, what's the plan?

• 1:32:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, we're having our own show, kinda like the show we did last year with Fred Smoot.

• 1:32:29Speaker 00

  Yep, Lalo Football.

• 1:32:30Speaker 05

  Casey's gonna come down, be the host.

• 1:32:32Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 1:32:33Speaker 05

  Jake's gonna help produce it and Tom. And we're gonna try to give the fans some real technical stuff a little bit. We're also gonna switch gears and try to make it funny. We're gonna try to make it like a team meeting, you know, stir the emotions, try to make you laugh, try to get you fired up, take you off, but, uh, try to make it really hard, hardcore football and, uh, try to share, share the game with the fans.

• 1:32:56Speaker 00

  I love that. All right. So let's talk some football. Uh, which team are you highest on right now? When you're going through all your previews and you're, and you're, and you're breaking down each division, which team are you looking at and you're like, you know what? This team, I feel like this might be a special year.

• 1:33:10Speaker 05

  I mean, you can't, you can't go against Seattle. They have everybody back.

• 1:33:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:14Speaker 05

  That guy McDonald's a hell of a coach. They didn't lose a lot of players. The guys they did lose, they tried to replace in the draft. John Schneider, the GM, he just continues to add to his Hall of Fame resume. Every move he makes is a great move, but the Rams, it's almost like the Dodgers. Do they have a salary cap?

• 1:33:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:34Speaker 05

  I mean, how, you know, people say, Gruden, you didn't want Khalil Mack? Bullshit. You know, a lot of it has to do with the financial implications that you don't have control of over as, as a coach. But for them to get Myles Garrett, Trent McDuffie, and then go get Jalen Watson, the other starting corner.

• 1:33:51Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:33:51Speaker 05

  And now Aaron Donald's working out.

• 1:33:52Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:33:53Speaker 05

  And you already have a $60 million quarterback who you restructured again. You got, uh, Devante Adams. I mean, they got a lot of great players. I don't know how they're not in it. The Super Bowl's in LA. I think you gotta go with the Rams Seahawks in the NFC Championship on a rewind.

• 1:34:09Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:34:09Speaker 05

  And in the AFC, I think it's anybody's game.

• 1:34:12Speaker 00

  It's wide open.

• 1:34:13Speaker 05

  I don't know what Joe Brady and Buffalo's gonna do. They added some defensive players. I like Denver. They got everybody back.

• 1:34:19Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:34:20Speaker 05

  You got Mahomes and Andy Reid. They're just kinda waiting in the wings, but I think the AFC is a lot more wide open than the NFC.

• 1:34:26Speaker 02

  What do you think? You mentioned the, uh, the Seahawks and how they're bringing just about everybody back. Kenneth Walker is one piece that they're not bringing back. Super Bowl MVP, helped them win the Super Bowl, then the team gets sold for what? $9 billion? And they're like, yeah, see you later. Uh, adios. We'll send you a ring. Hope you enjoy the Super Bowl ring, but we can't give you another contract. Probably made hundreds of millions of dollars just the fact that they won the Super Bowl and, and equity for, for the people that sold. Uh, but he was a, a big part of that offense, especially Charbonne goes down and he looks like, yeah, he can be the bell cow back there. Um, how big of an impact is that gonna be on the Seahawks?

• 1:35:04Speaker 05

  I think it is big, but they re-signed Charles Cross at left tackle. They gave Jackson Smith and Jigba big money. He's great. They gave Rashid Shaheed a ton of money.

• 1:35:15Speaker 00

  They drafted the kid from Notre Dame behind Jeremiah Love.

• 1:35:18Speaker 05

  They got this kid named Emmanuel Wilson from Green Bay. He was a understudy to Josh Jacobs, but he has 1,000 yards the last two years. And if you have a great, they got a great offensive line now. They got a good offensive line. They got a very good tight end that can block. So I think Seattle's in a good space. Kenneth Walker and Charbonne shared the backfield. They shared the snaps. Charbonne will be back week six or week seven.

• 1:35:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35:42Speaker 05

  But, uh, Kenneth Walker's a good back. He's obviously not real happy in Kansas City. He seems to be fighting every week with his teammates.

• 1:35:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35:50Speaker 05

  He's a hell of a back.

• 1:35:51Speaker 02

  So when it comes to, um, to teams that you've coached over the years, has there been a team that you've gotten it wrong on in training camp where you thought either this team was gonna be, you know, it's gonna be a long season. We're gonna have to scrap it out. We don't have the guys or conversely, a team that you were very, very high on, everything looked great, that you can look back and be like, I had that wrong for some reason and it ended, the expectation was completely different from reality once the, once the meaningful game started.

• 1:36:18Speaker 05

  Well, after we won the Super Bowl in Tampa, I thought we were gonna come back and repeat. I really did. We had everybody back. We had a really good team, but you lose Mike Alstott, Joe Juvicious on the same play for the season in the second game of the year. You lose Shelton Quarles, your middle linebacker on a punt drill during practice. You know, injuries, that next man up stuff they talk about, that's a crock of crap.

• 1:36:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:36:43Speaker 05

  You know, like if you go out, if you miss a week of work, this show you have isn't as good. If he misses a week, it's not as good. You know, you can't replace the top flight guys.

• 1:36:53Speaker 00

  And he's not here.

• 1:36:54Speaker 05

  Goes golf, everything's fine.

• 1:36:58Speaker 05

  Max.

• 1:36:59Speaker 00

  I know.

• 1:37:01Speaker 05

  But you know exactly what I'm saying. There's certain guys on this team, the, the Philadelphia Eagles. They lose Lane Johnson.

• 1:37:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:09Speaker 05

  And all of a sudden, you know, Hertz isn't seeing things the same way. You know, the running plays don't look the same off the right side. You, you don't replace certain guys. You don't replace Simeon Rice. You don't replace Alstott and Juvicious. You just don't replace them like that.

• 1:37:23Speaker 00

  Did you do any, uh, QB tiers in the offseason? Do we have QB tiers from Coach Gruden? Do you wanna maybe give it to us? Top five?

• 1:37:31Speaker 05

  In the whole league?

• 1:37:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, whole league.

• 1:37:35Speaker 05

  Well, I, you know, the top five quarterbacks, Stafford's amazing. I mean, when you look at the tape, I swear to God, I'm looking at that twisted T right there.

• 1:37:45Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:37:45Speaker 05

  He'll throw it over there and hit Hank right in the nuts. Stafford's throws, his, um, his ability in the pocket can make, can make you just gasp for breath. He's, he's phenomenal. Um, I love Joe Burrow. I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna, I love Josh Allen.

• 1:38:04Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:38:04Speaker 05

  I love those guys, you know.

• 1:38:06Speaker 00

  What about a quarter, all right, so let me, cause these are, these are the normal.

• 1:38:08Speaker 05

  I love Mahomes.

• 1:38:09Speaker 00

  What about a quarterback that you think might make a leap this year?

• 1:38:11Speaker 05

  I think Caleb Williams.

• 1:38:13Speaker 00

  I mean, he might've made it last year. You, you didn't believe in him. You finally came around.

• 1:38:17Speaker 05

  I did believe in him.

• 1:38:18Speaker 00

  You finally came around.

• 1:38:19Speaker 05

  I believe in their coach.

• 1:38:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:38:20Speaker 05

  I think their coach is a hell of a coach.

• 1:38:22Speaker 00

  See, he's sleeping in the office?

• 1:38:23Speaker 05

  Coach is.

• 1:38:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:38:24Speaker 05

  You know, the best thing I've seen the whole offseason, cause I like to study what's really bad and what's really good. Really bad, what the hell are they doing? And what's really good? Why, why is it so good? The coolest thing I saw with the Chicago Bears running game. You know, you need to really dig into it, how they block the backside. You need to really get to know Jackson and Darnell Wright on it. They should put Darnell Wright under investigation for killing people. This guy comes off the ball and he kicks people's ass.

• 1:38:50Speaker 00

  I love that.

• 1:38:51Speaker 05

  And this Manungai guy?

• 1:38:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:38:53Speaker 05

  Get me Manungai. I'd take four Manungai's on my team. He runs like it's the last play of his life. Uh, I, I love their tight ends. They can use three at a time. I really think old school football's coming back into play.

• 1:39:06Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 1:39:07Speaker 05

  The Rams are under the center, the Seattle Seahawks are under the center, the Bears are under the center, and they're smashing people and their play action passing game is top nine.

• 1:39:16Speaker 00

  Did you see that Ben Johnson slept, uh, he got caught sleeping over in the office in like Ju- June, I believe, not even during training camp? Would that, how often were you doing that?

• 1:39:26Speaker 05

  I don't know. It sounds logical to me though. I mean, you know, when you, when you're really in your, in your wheelhouse, I think he's got the personnel, he's got a Denzel, this, this Luther guy.

• 1:39:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:39:37Speaker 05

  Uh, from Missouri they got. He's a, he's like their new Amon Ra St. Brown. I mean, this guy's, he's, he's a savage, man. He'll go in there and block. He's quick. He can get down the seam. He can run double moves. They have a hell of a team. This, this kid they got from Michigan.

• 1:39:53Speaker 00

  Colson Loveland.

• 1:39:54Speaker 05

  Colson Loveland.

• 1:39:55Speaker 00

  It's gonna be the defense, the defense, the, can you get a pass rush?

• 1:39:58Speaker 05

  Do they have the fourth quarter pass rush to close you out?

• 1:40:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:01Speaker 05

  Now, they did, they did show it a lot, but can they go to LA? Could they go to LA in the NFC championship game and beat the Rams in that dome?

• 1:40:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:11Speaker 05

  That's a totally different story.

• 1:40:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. Uh, let me, who's coming in here?

• 1:40:15Speaker 00

  Uh, Zach's coming in with the ice cream.

• 1:40:16Speaker 02

  Cause you forgot the ice cream earlier.

• 1:40:18Speaker 00

  Zach, why don't you swap out with Malasek after you get the groceries?

• 1:40:21Speaker 02

  Like to hear what you, yeah, walk us through what you got. Actually bring the groceries over.

• 1:40:25Speaker 00

  Well, no, put the ice cream.

• 1:40:26Speaker 02

  Well, I want to see, I want to hear his explanation about what you got.

• 1:40:29Speaker 00

  The ice cream's probably melting right now, big time.

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, good point. Coach, uh, last year Patriots make the Super Bowl. Do you, was last year flash in the pan? Were they a product of the schedule? Or are you believing that the, uh, the Patriots are going to be back making a deep run this year?

• 1:40:47Speaker 05

  I, I think the quarterback is a great player. You know, you were talking quarterbacks. He's gotta be in the top five. I mean, he's, he matched after.

• 1:40:54Speaker 00

  Top five. I think you have 10 guys in your top five.

• 1:40:56Speaker 05

  I gave you four. You didn't let me finish.

• 1:40:58Speaker 00

  So you put Drake May's, so Lamar Jackson out?

• 1:41:01Speaker 05

  Well, right now, I mean.

• 1:41:03Speaker 00

  Wow. Okay.

• 1:41:04Speaker 05

  Lamar's been injured. Lamar, you know, I love Lamar, but when you look at Drake May, man, I mean, this guy runs for 800 yards. This guy's got mobility, man. And he, he, he has Josh McDaniels. And when you add AJ Brown to the mix, watch out now, AJ's not going to be standing over there reading a book on the left side of the formation. He's gonna be in motion. They're gonna put him in.

• 1:41:24Speaker 00

  It was a problem in Philly.

• 1:41:25Speaker 05

  McDaniels wants to take this trade.

• 1:41:28Speaker 00

  You're not, you don't have a mic.

• 1:41:29Speaker 05

  He wants to stick this trade up everybody's, you know what?

• 1:41:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:41:33Speaker 05

  He wants to prove, okay, I'll show you what I can do with a great receiver.

• 1:41:35Speaker 02

  So Zach, come on in. I, I think before Zach, real quick, one of the most interesting stories, at least in the AFC, to me, is the Texans. Because the defense is as good as we've seen in a very long time. Like just absolute killers on that defense.

• 1:41:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:41:49Speaker 02

  CJ Stroud, when he gets to the league, lit the world on fire for a year. And then it just hasn't looked the same. Are you buying long-term CJ Stroud? Do you think that he's as good as what we saw his rookie year? Or do you think it's going to be, and it might be, their defense might be good enough to win with him just being a game manager? Like, is he, do you expect him to take another step? Or is his ceiling like, yeah, he might be just a good game manager?

• 1:42:11Speaker 05

  That's a great point. I think he's one of the biggest decisions of the year in the NFL.

• 1:42:17Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:42:17Speaker 05

  I mean, when you watch that Patriot game from the very first play, what the hell's going on here?

• 1:42:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:42:24Speaker 05

  It didn't look, it didn't look like it was championship level throwing the ball. And other than Nico Collins, you know, who is their skill guys? I know they got David Montgomery now.

• 1:42:34Speaker 00

  Tankdale is back.

• 1:42:35Speaker 05

  Well, he hasn't played in two years.

• 1:42:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:42:37Speaker 05

  You know, let's, let's see. You know, can they go outside the dome and win with their offense? Can they come from behind when they're down by 10? They will inevitably have to prove that Stroud and this offense can win the game. I just think there's so many quarterbacks in the AFC. You can start in the AFC West and go across the land. I, I, I am, I have not seen him get better. I've seen him level off and it is a concern for me if I'm the Texans.

• 1:43:06Speaker 00

  All right. Question for you from a coaching philosophy standpoint. You got a, let's, let's say you got a young star player and they're young and they're, and they, they have all the promise in the world. Okay. And you're trying to get them to do one thing specifically and you tell them over and over, hey, you gotta do this thing and they keep messing up that one thing. How many times do you let them mess up that one thing before you're like, all right, we gotta find something else?

• 1:43:34Speaker 05

  Well, then they're not a star player if you're correct.

• 1:43:36Speaker 00

  Well, no, but they are. They are.

• 1:43:37Speaker 05

  Well, very rarely do you have that conversation with, you're talking about a star player.

• 1:43:42Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:43:43Speaker 05

  You know, they, they solve the mystery pretty quick.

• 1:43:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:43:46Speaker 05

  But if it's a repeated mistake and you're forcing the ball into cover two, or you're not seeing the checks, or you're missing wide flares.

• 1:43:54Speaker 00

  Or not buying the ice cream for the house.

• 1:43:56Speaker 05

  They're, I've said it a long time. There's a big difference between good and great. You, you know this better than anybody. There's a great show that you've had and there's a good show, but there's a big difference.

• 1:44:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like, maybe if there's a guy that like showed up to training camp in a hot air balloon, you thought this guy was gonna hang the moon.

• 1:44:13Speaker 05

  He was a great player though.

• 1:44:14Speaker 02

  But then he was a great player.

• 1:44:15Speaker 05

  I would have done anything for that guy. That guy, I was in love with Antonio. I was in love with him and I, I felt he's a bit of a character, but if I put him in our locker room, got him around our system, I thought he could make everything dance. I thought we could live a long life together. I was wrong.

• 1:44:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's what we're going through right now.

• 1:44:32Speaker 00

  With Zach. I mean, Zach is a great player.

• 1:44:35Speaker 02

  Well, you drafted him.

• 1:44:36Speaker 00

  Coach, I've told Zach one thing. When we go on the road, I need ice cream in the freezer. I got back today from a long day. There was no ice cream in the freezer.

• 1:44:46Speaker 05

  Well, that's not good, Zach.

• 1:44:49Speaker 02

  Not at all.

• 1:44:49Speaker 05

  What's your answer for that?

• 1:44:51Speaker 02

  Go get the ice cream.

• 1:44:54Speaker 05

  You know, but even though you're in the middle of nowhere and you don't know where you are, you've never been here and you've never driven the car and you don't know where the car is and Dan wants his ice cream. What do you, how do you handle that pressure?

• 1:45:04Speaker 02

  We find the most capable guy behind the wheel and we, we hitch a ride and then we go find that ice cream.

• 1:45:08Speaker 00

  And then you did. So he did. What, what'd you get?

• 1:45:10Speaker 02

  Uh, we got a, so we, uh, ran the ball a little bit. We went, uh, cookies and cream, cookie dough. We went to chocolate and then we also got a, a mint chip.

• 1:45:18Speaker 00

  Oh, you crushed it, Zach.

• 1:45:20Speaker 02

  And then just like some sprinkles and some Reese's Pieces, you know, just like little.

• 1:45:23Speaker 00

  See, he always, he always delivers. It just might take a little bit of time.

• 1:45:28Speaker 05

  I'm speechless. I, I, uh.

• 1:45:32Speaker 02

  Do you ever look at him and you think like that's, that's the one that got away?

• 1:45:35Speaker 05

  We do watch that quite a bit back in Tampa and we're so proud of you because he's from Florida.

• 1:45:39Speaker 00

  Yeah. He's a Bucks fan through and through.

• 1:45:42Speaker 05

  Yeah. We're, we're gonna try to work him out where he can come back and be a part of our.

• 1:45:47Speaker 02

  Well, that's tampering. You're tampering.

• 1:45:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're tampering. And also, I don't know if you like ice cream, but you won't have any in your freezer if you bring him back.

• 1:45:54Speaker 05

  He's one that got away. You know, you, you feel good as a coach when you discover somebody, you develop the guy, his contract, you know, somebody else takes him from you, but you feel great for his success.

• 1:46:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. And he is, he is the best. I give him a hard.

• 1:46:09Speaker 05

  The excitement that we have for you and your career.

• 1:46:11Speaker 00

  That was a terrible, pounded again.

• 1:46:14Speaker 05

  Sitting in one of these chairs soon.

• 1:46:15Speaker 00

  Pound it again, Zach.

• 1:46:16Speaker 05

  You are.

• 1:46:17Speaker 02

  Run that back. There we go.

• 1:46:18Speaker 00

  I also will say that like I like to give him a hard time just on a trivial thing like ice cream. He doesn't mess up important things. So, yeah, I just need my ice cream. Zach, do you have a question for Coach about football?

• 1:46:28Speaker 02

  I do. Uh, I know later this month, uh, you and Ronde Barber are gonna be back in the booth. Uh, what are your thought, any thoughts going into that? Have you done any preparation to get back on the mic and call the game? And, uh, how's, how, how you feeling going into that?

• 1:46:40Speaker 05

  I'm really nervous. Honestly, thanks for asking, but we, uh, August 17th are having our first real production meeting.

• 1:46:46Speaker 02

  On your birthday?

• 1:46:47Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:46:47Speaker 00

  Wow, PFT, there you go.

• 1:46:51Speaker 05

  We all have our favorite, we all have our favorite player and my favorite player was always Ronde Barber. But who's the play-by-play guy? There is a cadence. His second is seven. Here comes the Chiefs. Garrett Nussby hands the ball. So there is a certain degree of, you know, who's, who's dribbling the ball? Who's, when are we passing it? We've never been together live in a booth, but we are celebrating. We are part of the Buccaneers broadcast.

• 1:47:18Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 1:47:18Speaker 05

  And Chris Myers is the play-by-play guy. He's a great play-by-play guy. He can't be there and I'm filling in for Chris Myers technically, but I'm not Chris Myers. I'm, I'm a color guy. I've always been over there like, yeah, it was a good pass.

• 1:47:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:32Speaker 05

  You know, nice catch by, by cats. But now.

• 1:47:35Speaker 00

  Eating a banana out of a, out of a blender.

• 1:47:38Speaker 05

  We're up there. It's preseason. We want to talk about like who are the guys that are on the cusp of making the team? Uh, who are the new coaches? You know, we got a new play-by-play guy for Tampa Bay radio.

• 1:47:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:49Speaker 05

  So we're gonna try to get the fans excited about this 2026 Tampa Bay team. And I think we got a lot of good stuff, man. If we can get Vita Vay back out there and.

• 1:47:59Speaker 00

  That's a big if.

• 1:48:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, we'll get him out there. Get, get Baker re-signed. Everything's gonna be, I was out there at practice last week. They got a lot of talent, man, and they're healthy.

• 1:48:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you've never done play-by-play before?

• 1:48:10Speaker 05

  No, but when I was doing Monday Night Football.

• 1:48:12Speaker 00

  Well, no, wait, that's, wait, did you do play-by-play when you watched us like throw the ball around and look like assholes on the field?

• 1:48:19Speaker 05

  I did. The only play-by-play I did was at the Super Bowl and a flag football when Mincy made a great touchdown catch. Uh, but you know, when I was doing Monday Night Football, people don't realize this. Frank Gifford did the play-by-play. He wasn't the color guy.

• 1:48:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:48:35Speaker 05

  And I loved him so much. He was my favorite broadcaster ever. And, um, you know, I, I, I, I did kind of come out and say, I'm gonna get to do a couple plays of play-by-play. And as soon as I said that, my phone rang, it was Mike Tirico. He goes, you think it's that easy, huh?

• 1:48:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's great.

• 1:48:52Speaker 05

  But anyways, it's, uh, it's kind of exciting to be back up there, be reunited with my old team and, uh, to share the, the three or four hours with a Hall of Famer like Ronde Barber. It's pretty cool.

• 1:49:03Speaker 00

  What other camps have you gone to? I know you're, you're going to Oklahoma. Uh, but have you been to any other camps or any programs the last couple of months?

• 1:49:11Speaker 05

  Been to Tampa Bay, been to, we're going to Oklahoma this weekend. See Coach Venables and Matier, quarterback. I'm really excited about Jason Witten at tight end. We might stop at Arkansas on the way.

• 1:49:22Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 1:49:22Speaker 05

  I'm gonna go speak at Georgia Southern. Clay Hilton's the head coach. Excited about that. I'm gonna go, uh, to Youngstown, Ohio for the Ohio State, Michigan. Rivalry golf tournament with a lot of legendary players.

• 1:49:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:49:36Speaker 05

  So I'm gonna do that. Probably slide up to Jacksonville, maybe. But I like to get these preseason tapes.

• 1:49:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:49:44Speaker 05

  And study the rookies, study the second year players and.

• 1:49:47Speaker 00

  Which one are we on right now? Which which division are we on right now?

• 1:49:50Speaker 05

  We're starting with the AFC East.

• 1:49:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:49:52Speaker 05

  But I got pulled away there. We have this event we have to do.

• 1:49:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right. So have you looked at the AFC East at all? Is there any hope for the Jets?

• 1:50:02Speaker 05

  Yes, there is.

• 1:50:03Speaker 00

  Okay. Give it to us.

• 1:50:05Speaker 05

  The hope is, all these people that criticize Aaron Glenn, no way. He's doing the same thing out there that Dan Campbell did with the Lions. You know, you gotta restore the roar before you can kick the dough down. They got rid of some players that that for for for whatever reason. High picks too. The defensive end from Florida State's gone. Quentin Williams is gone. He's he's bringing in his own guys. I know Geno Smith makes people roll their eyes, but two years ago, he's in the Pro Bowl. They're gonna be competitive. They brought in DeMario Davis at linebacker. Minka Fitzpatrick. They brought in some guys now that have that mental toughness thing we're talking about. They got a hell of an offensive line now. If you watch these guys come out of the tunnel, they will kick your ass. They're all first round draft choices.

• 1:50:51Speaker 05

  And Breece Hall is slamming it down your face. And now it's just not Garrett Wilson. They got this Sharik the Freak guy from Oregon.

• 1:50:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:50:58Speaker 05

  And they got another first round pick from Indiana, another receiver who I like. And I'm telling you, Frank Reich running the offense. The AFC East, the Patriots went from four and 13 to the Super Bowl. The Bears went from four and 13 to the NFC Championship game.

• 1:51:14Speaker 00

  Or one game before.

• 1:51:15Speaker 05

  Miami's Miami's got a whole new team. I I just think the Jets, give the guy, give the guy a chance.

• 1:51:22Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:51:23Speaker 05

  Give the guy.

• 1:51:23Speaker 00

  Memes. Memes is. Are you feeling this? I mean, that is the beauty of the NFL. You can turn a team around like that in a year. Like it's it's. It is why we love the league.

• 1:51:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:51:34Speaker 00

  And it's a, it's actually kind of, I I think it's what's missed when when everyone talks about, oh, the NBA is trying to have the parity that the NFL has where they have. Whatever it is, now we're on eight different champions in eight years. That's not what the parity that the NFL, the the parity NFL has is. That you can be the worst team and then the next year you can win your division. Like, that's the beauty of the NFL.

• 1:51:56Speaker 05

  I agree.

• 1:51:56Speaker 00

  You sell the hope of like, hey, we could turn this around.

• 1:51:59Speaker 05

  You could go from worst to first.

• 1:52:01Speaker 00

  It happens almost every year.

• 1:52:03Speaker 05

  Every year.

• 1:52:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. Between you and your brother, are you gonna let your brother say nice things about the commanders? Or are you gonna be a hater again?

• 1:52:11Speaker 05

  I liked it what the commanders did. I I did the NFC East preview.

• 1:52:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:15Speaker 05

  I mean, you got Oway, you got Dorance Armstrong coming back.

• 1:52:18Speaker 00

  Defense is a lot younger.

• 1:52:19Speaker 05

  A lot. How about Sonny Styles at linebacker? They get, I love Chanel from Kansas City.

• 1:52:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:52:26Speaker 05

  And the kid they got, safety, Cross from the Indianapolis Colts. He's a big time player.

• 1:52:32Speaker 00

  Talk to me about Cross, because I haven't heard that much about him.

• 1:52:34Speaker 05

  Shit, he's got 200 tackles the last two years. He can play in the box. He can play in the post. He's a hell of a player. If you call people in Indianapolis and ask, what's the biggest loss? They're gonna tell you it's Nick Cross. He's a heck of a player. And that solidifies a horrible. Thing for the Redskins or the commanders last year. They gave up so many big plays. And they gotta figure out what they're doing with Kwon Martin. He's a good player. But there was something missing last year. So I also love their new D coordinator. He comes in from Minnesota.

• 1:53:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:53:06Speaker 05

  They're gonna present the illusion of blitz every single play. And they won't disappoint you. They will bring the house now. But a lot of times they'll run out of there and play all kind of mysterious coverages. I'm excited about the East. I think they're better.

• 1:53:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, what about the Cowboys? Because everyone talks, I mean, the Cowboys offense should be incredible.

• 1:53:23Speaker 05

  Everybody says Gruden likes everybody. Well, this time of year, everybody's undefeated, damn it. They're all undefeated. The Cowboys getting downs. And getting the kid Jalen Thompson from Arizona. They got two good safeties now.

• 1:53:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:53:36Speaker 05

  And Overshown's a big time linebacker. And then they go out and they get the kid D Winters from the 49ers who had 120 tackles. They're better there. They draft Malakai Lawrence in the first round. They've got some young rushers. If their defense is competitive with this offense, they got all 11 starters back.

• 1:53:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:53:54Speaker 05

  And Dak is a, Dak is a hell of a player, man. He threw for 4,600 yards.

• 1:53:59Speaker 00

  You do love everyone.

• 1:54:00Speaker 05

  And I love Pickens, man. And I love C D. And Ferguson's a good tight end. Jomonte Williams, 1,200 yards. The Cowboys are, they're gonna score 27 points a game.

• 1:54:09Speaker 00

  So who's the team you don't love in the East?

• 1:54:11Speaker 05

  The Giants. I think the Giants are gonna struggle.

• 1:54:13Speaker 00

  What about the Eagles?

• 1:54:15Speaker 05

  Well, I think the Eagles are damn good. You know, because of Fangio, they're gonna play good defense. They just, they will play good defense. They get Jalen Carter's contract. They got Davis back. They get the kid from the Texans and the Vikings. What's his name? The pass rusher?

• 1:54:30Speaker 04

  Grenard.

• 1:54:31Speaker 05

  Jonathan Grenard.

• 1:54:33Speaker 04

  He's hurt right now.

• 1:54:33Speaker 05

  Reek Woolen from the Seattle Seahawks to address the other corner, which was a real problem. You know, you got, you got Quinian Mitchell on one side. Now you got Reek Woolen on the other.

• 1:54:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:54:45Speaker 05

  You still got the kid from Iowa in the slot. They're they're a handful on defense.

• 1:54:49Speaker 00

  Grenard's injured?

• 1:54:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're, they think he should be ready for week one, but he's not, he's not playing right now.

• 1:54:54Speaker 05

  How about the the offense? The offensive line is healthy. Who is Sean Mannion? That's, that's what we gotta find out. We got.

• 1:55:01Speaker 00

  Brand new according to.

• 1:55:02Speaker 05

  Got a brand new offensive coordinator?

• 1:55:04Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:55:05Speaker 04

  Evil genius.

• 1:55:06Speaker 00

  Evil genius.

• 1:55:06Speaker 04

  Evil genius.

• 1:55:07Speaker 00

  Evil genius.

• 1:55:08Speaker 05

  He's been in the F F C. I love Mannion. I think Jalen Hurts has to buy into a new way of doing business. You know, get out of the shotgun, get underneath the center.

• 1:55:18Speaker 04

  It's a prove it year for for Jalen Hurts, for sure.

• 1:55:20Speaker 05

  Let's get the ball to Saquon Barkley. Let's get the running game going.

• 1:55:24Speaker 00

  It is true. Like, you're you're talking about these and I'm I'm thinking about like who I'm high. I I think like. Pretty much 90% of the league's gonna be good this year. Because I was thinking about it like. The NFC East, I do think the Cowboys are gonna be good. The Eagles are gonna be good. I think the commanders are gonna be better.

• 1:55:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:55:38Speaker 00

  Sure, throughout the Giants. The NFC North, I think the the Lions are gonna have a bounce back year.

• 1:55:43Speaker 05

  I worry about them a little. I don't know who they have on defense.

• 1:55:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:55:46Speaker 05

  They've got a lot of holes on defense.

• 1:55:48Speaker 00

  What about, what about this take I had on Sunday night, which I don't think is very controversial, but if the, if J J McCarthy can't beat out Kyler Murray, you have to trade him?

• 1:55:57Speaker 05

  You know, J J McCarthy, not to compare him to Trey Lance. But I remember Bill Walsh, he taught me a long time ago, the great coach of the 49ers. We do not save bad ideas. We don't, we don't really care. When we draft players, we don't care what round you come in. Now, the 49ers were fortunate to get Brock Purdy in the last pick of the draft. The 49ers used three number one picks for Trey Lance. He was gone within two years.

• 1:56:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:56:26Speaker 05

  You know, if they'd have stayed with him and stayed with him, you'd have never heard of Brock Purdy. And the 49ers might have a different head coach and a whole nucleus of players. But, you know, if you don't beat out Kyler Murray. You gotta justify getting rid of Sam Darnold first and getting rid of Daniel Jones. They love Daniel Jones in Indianapolis.

• 1:56:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:56:45Speaker 05

  So I'm I'm really concerned about the North. I think the Bears are clearly the best team. In my opinion.

• 1:56:53Speaker 00

  Do you, you ever pay attention to to strength of schedule? Because it looks like the the Lions have a a pretty easy schedule this year. I know you can't really count wins ahead of time, but. It it's breaking favorably for them right now. I don't think they play an outdoor game in a cold weather city until the last game of the season. And I don't know, I I just believe in Dan Campbell. I I feel like he can get things turned around. It's not like it went completely off the rails last year.

• 1:57:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, I I believe in Dan Campbell. But they got a new right tackle. Penae Sewell's playing left tackle.

• 1:57:21Speaker 00

  That's right.

• 1:57:22Speaker 05

  They got a rookie playing right tackle. I don't know this offensive line. It's not the same offensive line Ben Johnson won with. David Montgomery is gone. They've got a new offensive coordinator who's coming in there from Arizona. That's their third coordinator in three years. Their defensive line, other than Hutch, they don't really have any juice. They don't have a lot of recognizable forces, in my opinion.

• 1:57:45Speaker 00

  They might want to look into Max Crosby.

• 1:57:47Speaker 05

  Perhaps.

• 1:57:48Speaker 00

  Might want to get into Max Crosby business. Can I ask you, because I I love that Bill Walsh quote you gave us. Could you give us a couple other lessons you learned from a different, maybe Mike Holmgren or Andy Reid or someone else along the way? Because I I love that stuff.

• 1:58:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, well.

• 1:58:03Speaker 00

  Like, what was Mike Holmgren's big thing if it were?

• 1:58:05Speaker 05

  Mike Holmgren, he would walk down the hall. He's six foot six. He would walk down the hall. He would look in all our offices to see if we were working. He'd go down there and go for a walk or go to the restroom, come back. He wouldn't talk to us because, you know, that's an intense environment.

• 1:58:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:58:21Speaker 05

  He'd look in your office, looking, he's, if you're not working. He's gonna have a conversation with you. He'd be, hey, cats, I've walked by your office nine times. And six out of the nine times, you're not even looking at tape. You gotta accumulate knowledge. Your accumulation of knowledge is a powerful thing. Now, go get me some goddamn knowledge, you know? But that, you know, when you're at work, you're working.

• 1:58:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:58:44Speaker 05

  You know, I think a lot of people that work are, they're just there. Some staffs are probably just there. Other staffs are out working you.

• 1:58:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:58:51Speaker 05

  He wanted our staff to lead the league in working and finding ideas, developing thoughts. And he was, he was really big on that.

• 1:59:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. Did you ever go to him and say, hey, coach, I think we should take the ping pong table out of the locker room? Did you ever do that?

• 1:59:06Speaker 05

  No, I didn't.

• 1:59:07Speaker 02

  The pong table out?

• 1:59:08Speaker 05

  Rich Gannon would do that. Gannon would steal the pool balls.

• 1:59:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:59:11Speaker 05

  Rich Gannon would sit in a quarterback meeting. I loved him. He's single-handedly turned the Raiders around. We had a great, you know, a lot of these teams have great facilities. They got barber shops and video games. Rich Gannon, he'd be in a quarterback meeting, we're going over the Kansas City Chiefs, third down pressure package. He hears all these balls.

• 1:59:32Speaker 05

  He has guys, you know, again, with 20 bucks, you miss this shot. He's, he's, he goes in there, steals all the pool balls. Hides them, puts them underneath the table somewhere and no one can play pool anymore.

• 1:59:42Speaker 02

  I love that. What about, what about a guy like Ray Rhodes?

• 1:59:45Speaker 05

  Ray Rhodes was the best with the players. He, he, uh, God bless Ray Rhodes. I mean, I sat in his secondary meetings with the 49ers for a year. And then I worked for him for three years in Philly. The way he talked to a player, uh, he could undress you. I mean, just rip you a new one and make you laugh. He had this unbelievable ability to motivate you, um, and make you come back for more. You look forward to going in the building with Ray Rhodes. You really, you really did.

• 2:00:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:00:15Speaker 05

  And he was great, great with his players on the grass. Some guys, they just walk around with a whistle and, you know, they slap your hand while you're stretching. Ray Rhodes, man, he had a presence on the grass. That was his, that was his laboratory. He was awesome.

• 2:00:30Speaker 02

  I got one more question for you and then maybe we'll call it an exercise. But my, my last question is about the Saints. So we went down there, we met with Kellen Moore. Hank farted during the interview. It was a big thing. TMZ wrote about it.

• 2:00:42Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 2:00:43Speaker 02

  Uh, but we found out, well, we were down there that Kellen Moore gives out like six, sometimes 10 game balls a game.

• 2:00:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:00:50Speaker 02

  He's a big game ball guy. How many game balls is too many game balls to give away?

• 2:00:55Speaker 05

  You know, I remember there were times after we beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh, everybody gets a game ball.

• 2:01:00Speaker 02

  The whole team?

• 2:01:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, we beat Baltimore on the last play of the game. Everybody gets a game ball. You know, the, the manager of the team's like, yeah, dang, you know? Uh, there is nothing like winning, man. And still today, there's times, I swear, if you come down to the FFCA, I've got balls everywhere. I look at the balls that, that I've kept, the game balls that I've had stamped. I can remember them like yesterday.

• 2:01:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:25Speaker 05

  Um, so there is a certain sticker that you get for your helmet. You know, if you rush for a hundred yards or no turnovers or you tackle inside the 20. Those, those things, um, that's what, what motivates a player sometimes more than the money.

• 2:01:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:01:41Speaker 05

  They'll do anything for a game ball. They'll do anything for that kind of recognition in front of their teammates. That's what I really miss the most about coaching.

• 2:01:48Speaker 02

  Okay, I like it. You talked me into it.

• 2:01:49Speaker 00

  All right, you got an exercise?

• 2:01:50Speaker 02

  I got an exercise.

• 2:01:51Speaker 00

  All right, so we'll do the Roback exercise. R H O B A C K dot com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback makes the best gear out there. I'm wearing the shorts right now. Roback dot com, promo code TAKE. Uh, this has been so much fun. We'll finish with the exercise because you've, you've been very nice to give us your time. We love having you on.

• 2:02:12Speaker 02

  So, so you're gonna give it a shot to be a play-by-play guy for the first time?

• 2:02:16Speaker 05

  Well, yeah.

• 2:02:17Speaker 02

  Oh, wait, non, yeah, non-Mincy related content.

• 2:02:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:02:21Speaker 02

  Uh, but you're gonna try it. So let's, let's take it for a spin. I pulled up a random play.

• 2:02:25Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 2:02:26Speaker 02

  An NFL game, so I'm gonna press play and you just do play-by-play on this.

• 2:02:30Speaker 05

  Who's playing?

• 2:02:31Speaker 02

  Uh, you can see at the bottom, I'm not sure which, I just pulled up a random play.

• 2:02:36Speaker 05

  Okay, Chicago and Washington, 15-12 Bears.

• 2:02:40Speaker 00

  We know what this is.

• 2:02:42Speaker 05

  All right, it's 15-12 Bears. We got a cell phone here. I can barely see it, but Caleb back to pass. No, it's Jaden Daniels back to pass, hopping, hopping, hopping, scrambling. There goes Daniels looking to his right. He's back to his left. His towel's dangling. He fires. No, he doesn't. He pumped it. He's still got it. He fires it down the field and is it T-Mac? It's a tip. It's caught. Touchdown Redskins, Commanders, football team. Whatever the hell they call themselves. Dan Quinn just pulled a hamstring, jumping up and down. And they are going crazy in Washington. All 16,000 fans that made it to Maryland to watch the Washington football team win this game.

• 2:03:21Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:03:21Speaker 05

  What a horseshit job by the Bears on defense.

• 2:03:24Speaker 02

  That was great.

• 2:03:25Speaker 00

  All right, I think you're natural.

• 2:03:26Speaker 02

  We'll do one more. We'll do one more. We, no, I think we're good. We're good. We're good. We already did the Roback exercise. We can't do two Roback exercises.

• 2:03:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:03:33Speaker 00

  All right, here we go.

• 2:03:34Speaker 05

  Who's playing here? Okay, the commanders have the ball. They got a tight formation, pistol formation. Jaden Daniels, uh, waiting for the snap. We have a technical delay here with Dan Katz's phone.

• 2:03:47Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 2:03:48Speaker 05

  It's a slow motion. It's a duo play off the left side. Look at Cosby on the backside. It's a poor handoff. It's a bad exchange. It's fumbled. And the Chicago Bears are gonna recover the fumble and win this game. Horrible, horrible, horrible football here by Washington.

• 2:04:10Speaker 02

  That, I, the first one was better. The Roback, we never do two Roback.

• 2:04:13Speaker 00

  All right, I got, I got, I got one more for you. Hold on. Uh, Zach, ask the question real quick.

• 2:04:19Speaker 05

  Uh, Coach, uh, let's go over to California real quick. We'll, we'll go, or no, I take it back, not California. We're gonna go to the Raiders, Coach. Quick question. There was a scuffle on the field a little bit earlier this week. Max Crosby, Kirk Cousins. There's a conspiracy out there, Coach, that they might've gotten to this fight because one guy wants another younger quarterback to get all the good reps. Is there validity to stuff like that going on in practice? Are guys like kinda shaking and moving, trying to, you know, put other dudes in positions when they want? Maybe the elder guys, they don't see to do the job fit, kinda out the way. Is there validity to this or is this all fan fiction? Well, I think after being with Max, when you're the head coach, you have one, number one rule is stay away from the who.

• 2:05:04Speaker 02

  Quarterback.

• 2:05:05Speaker 05

  Do not get near the quarterback. If your quarterback gets hurt on your practice field, somebody is gonna get fired. I mean, these quarterbacks are making 50, 60 million. So stay away from the what? There's one guilty party every week and it's the same guy. It's number 99, 98, Max Crosby. He's always around a quarterback. He's always winning his one-on-ones. He's always in the face of the quarterback. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with it. Probably the coaches are saying, stay away from the quarterback, Crosby. I remember, don't bat the ball down or we'll cut your ass. And Matt, Matt, Max thought we were gonna cut him. I meant to say, we were gonna cut your legs out and chop you so you land on your face.

• 2:05:46Speaker 05

  But I think a lot of that has to do with Crosby getting near the quarterback and perhaps Cousins, after being in this league a long time, had maybe had enough. Now, I can't speak because I didn't see the play, but I think a lot of it has to do with that more than Max Crosby trying to be the general manager.

• 2:06:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, Crosby hates quarterbacks.

• 2:06:06Speaker 00

  All right, you ready to do one last play?

• 2:06:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:06:09Speaker 00

  Tell me when you want me to press play.

• 2:06:10Speaker 02

  This is gonna be a good one.

• 2:06:12Speaker 05

  This, this is the commanders on offense against the Eagles?

• 2:06:15Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:06:16Speaker 05

  Who is this?

• 2:06:17Speaker 00

  Niners.

• 2:06:18Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 2:06:19Speaker 00

  Eagles on offense.

• 2:06:20Speaker 05

  Eagles on offense. Okay. It's 23-19, late in the game, the Eagles have the ball, chance to win it. What will they do? Here comes a blitz. No, they're bluffing it. They're playing cover four again and they're running four verticals into cover four. The play had no chance. 49ers win.

• 2:06:38Speaker 00

  Four verse.

• 2:06:39Speaker 02

  That's crazy because before, like they asked Jalen Hurts and he was like, yeah, let's do it.

• 2:06:43Speaker 04

  What was the last time, what was the last thing the commanders did in the playoffs?

• 2:06:47Speaker 02

  I mean, we made.

• 2:06:48Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:06:49Speaker 02

  I get to answer the question.

• 2:06:51Speaker 00

  This is about rude.

• 2:06:52Speaker 02

  I get to answer the question.

• 2:06:53Speaker 00

  This is about rude.

• 2:06:54Speaker 02

  You're interrupting the Roback exercise. You're interrupting the Roback exercise. Max, sit down.

• 2:07:02Speaker 00

  Max, we're trying to get.

• 2:07:03Speaker 04

  You have nothing to talk about.

• 2:07:05Speaker 00

  We're trying to get coach.

• 2:07:06Speaker 02

  Max.

• 2:07:06Speaker 00

  We're trying to get coach to get ready to go.

• 2:07:09Speaker 02

  It was a terrible fucking play. It was a bad play. It was a bad play.

• 2:07:14Speaker 05

  You know, if you look at the last four plays though, Max, seriously, the 49ers are ahead 23 to 19. The Eagles are at home, the defending world champions. They got a chance to win the game now.

• 2:07:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:27Speaker 05

  There's a minute 30 to go. You got four shots.

• 2:07:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:30Speaker 05

  So you got all these coaches now.

• 2:07:33Speaker 02

  Got a lot of plays.

• 2:07:33Speaker 05

  Up in the press box, you got headsets. What's the coverage? Cover four, four deep, three underneath.

• 2:07:40Speaker 04

  Those headsets are gone.

• 2:07:41Speaker 05

  The next play, what's the coverage? Cover four. The next play, what was the coverage? Cover four.

• 2:07:49Speaker 02

  Again.

• 2:07:49Speaker 05

  And then on fourth down, what do you think the coverage is gonna be?

• 2:07:52Speaker 02

  Cover four.

• 2:07:52Speaker 05

  And you threw four verticals.

• 2:07:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:54Speaker 00

  Knock if you're with me.

• 2:07:54Speaker 05

  So, you know, that, that, that, but they did show the blitz and run into cover four, which maybe caused some confusion, but.

• 2:08:01Speaker 02

  Chop wood, carry water.

• 2:08:02Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:08:03Speaker 02

  That's what I said.

• 2:08:04Speaker 05

  Anyways.

• 2:08:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, Coach, you're ready for, you're ready for play-by-play.

• 2:08:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, can I get a copy of that?

• 2:08:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right, Max. Put the mic down, Max. Thank you.

• 2:08:11Speaker 00

  Uh, you're the best, Coach. Everyone tune into, to the new, are we calling it Gruden on Gruden? What are we calling it?

• 2:08:18Speaker 05

  I don't know. Jay and John or Gruden's Football.

• 2:08:22Speaker 00

  Gruden, Gruden Family Football Show.

• 2:08:24Speaker 05

  You know, we're gonna have, uh, Dan, which is pretty cool. We're gonna have this thing. It's a segment. It's gonna be like Gruden's Vault. So we're gonna go back in time and just talk about something that happened that fans that are really fans of the history of the game will like. So my dad is 89 years old. My dad will come in and tell. The story, because he's with the 49ers, he's a scout. And they take Terrell Owens in the third round. He's going to tell our viewers how that happened. What happened in the draft room when they pulled the trigger on T O?

• 2:08:54Speaker 00

  Can I make one request for the show? Can we get like one segment at one point during the year of your brother who's a doctor? Just being like,

• 2:09:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:09:04Speaker 00

  What happened? Well, you became a doctor. You'd like with football. And he's a doctor. It's still, I still love it. I'd love to meet him someday.

• 2:09:11Speaker 05

  He's out in New Orleans. He's practicing in New Orleans. So we're going to fly out to the Raiders Saints game to see my son and see my brother.

• 2:09:18Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 2:09:19Speaker 05

  We definitely will.

• 2:09:20Speaker 00

  That's Gruden family affair. Yeah. And how, what, how is Deuce doing? What is he lifting these days?

• 2:09:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's still crushing it. But he's one of the strength coaches with the Raiders. He's happy to be there with Coach Kubiak. I think Kubiak has a really good staff. You know, he didn't just come by himself. He brought a couple of coaches with him and

• 2:09:40Speaker 05

  the Raiders do have a quarterback now, I think in the hopper Mendoza, that's got a chance to fast track. So I'm, I'm excited for Deuce. I'm really happy it's football season.

• 2:09:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, me too. What was, what was the last competition that Deuce did? What he left?

• 2:09:55Speaker 05

  Well, he, he finished, he's broke the United States record. I know a bench press. He's closing in on 500 pounds, like 492.

• 2:10:03Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 2:10:04Speaker 05

  But he's, uh, yeah. He's something else, man.

• 2:10:07Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 2:10:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Speaks very highly of him that there's been transitions in the coaching staff there and Deuce sticks around.

• 2:10:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. Big time.

• 2:10:15Speaker 02

  It's like, you don't want to let that guy walk out the door.

• 2:10:17Speaker 05

  Well, you know, our philosophy is if you work hard and you're loyal, you know, good things will happen. And he, he is a hardworking guy. He might lead the league in effort and he is a loyal guy. He loves the Raiders and it's a credit to him. And certainly they have a lot of new leadership there with the spy tech running a show and Tom Brady's part of the process. So new head coach. Hopefully we get the Raiders back on the map and I'll be leading the charge. Let's go, boys.

• 2:10:47Speaker 00

  All right. Well, Coach Gruden, you're the absolute best and we can't wait for football season.

• 2:10:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, me too. Thank you, guys.

• 2:10:55Speaker 02

  Coach Gruden was brought to you by Tick Pick, the good guys of ticketing. That's confirmed good guys of ticketing. Zach, you know, firsthand, got you into Lala. Certainly what a time. Thank you, Tick Pick. Shout out Tick Pick. Also got the New York Knicks boys into the, was that the Eastern Conference semifinals? Cause they weren't in the finals, were they? That was a finals finals. Oh, the finals, it was.

• 2:11:16Speaker 00

  Final game of the finals.

• 2:11:17Speaker 02

  When the Spurs won. Uh, incorrect also. That was when the Knicks won. We all know. And you guys, it's history. It'll go down in history forever. What a win. And you guys are Knicks fans who were there for it. All thanks to Tick Pick. They hooked it up. They're the best. Let's talk about ticket fees for a second. Every other ticket site, they charge them. If there's service fees, processing fees, whatever the label, it's an extra 20, 30 bucks a ticket. Tick Pick doesn't do that. Tick Pick has never charged fans a service fee. Not when they started in 2011, not now, not ever. And no fees means simple math. The exact same seat costs less on Tick Pick. Same section, same row, smaller price. And every order is backed by their buyer trust guarantee.

• 2:12:01Speaker 02

  A hundred percent authentic tickets delivered on time. Don't take my word for it. Fans really trust Tick Pick. You can check the reviews for yourself. There's a lot of talk this summer about some other sites not following through. People thinking that they got tickets, not getting tickets. Guess what? With Tick Pick, it's guaranteed. They're on your side. They're on the fan's side. Check the reviews. They're great. Why overpay for the exact same seat? You can download the Tick Pick app. Never pay another service fee again. For new Tick Pick customers, take 20 bucks off your first order. Use promo code PMT20 right there on the Tick Pick app. PMT20. Orders must be $200 or more to apply. Terms apply. That's PMT20 at checkout and you get 20 bucks off your first order with Tick Pick.

• 2:12:46Speaker 02

  Coach Gruden was also brought to you by Morgan and Morgan.

• 2:12:50Speaker 02

  Hiring the wrong people can be disastrous. That's where Morgan and Morgan comes in. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over a hundred offices nationwide. They have more than a thousand lawyers with over $30 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. In Florida, a client recently received 6.1 million after the insurance company's best offer was just a hundred grand. Well, in Georgia, another client recently received 29.5 million. In Nashville, another client was awarded 10.6 million. If you're injured by the negligence of another, you deserve to be paid. If you're ever injured, check out Morgan and Morgan.

• 2:13:33Speaker 02

  The fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's F O R the people.com slash PMT or pound law, pound 529. This is a paid advertisement.

• 2:13:51Speaker 00

  Okay, let's wrap up the show. Hank, you have our pardon your takes.

• 2:13:55Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 2:13:55Speaker 00

  From listeners.

• 2:13:57Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 2:13:57Speaker 00

  Let's get it going.

• 2:13:59Speaker 05

  First of all, the cannoli discourse was outrageous on today's episode. You guys need to try my grandma's cannoli.

• 2:14:06Speaker 00

  Is it cannoli dip?

• 2:14:07Speaker 05

  Just cannoli.

• 2:14:08Speaker 02

  Cause cannoli dip is pretty good. It's, um, it's like a different way of eating similar thing to cannoli.

• 2:14:14Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:14:14Speaker 02

  It's way better though.

• 2:14:15Speaker 00

  Also, a lot of people coming at me and PFT for our very correct take. Uh, might I remind you that I'm an Italian father? My, my children are a quarter Italian.

• 2:14:24Speaker 02

  And I'm 1% Sicilian.

• 2:14:28Speaker 00

  So, uh, how could I say anything bad about the Italians? When I, I'm outnumbered by Italians in my own household, four to one. I have not checked if Stella is Italian.

• 2:14:39Speaker 05

  Uh, my take is that Canadians are actually dickheads for the most part.

• 2:14:42Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:14:43Speaker 05

  I'm from Buffalo and I interact with them on a regular basis. The only ones that are nice are the ones that don't live anywhere near the city. The rest are either dickheads or French dickheads.

• 2:14:52Speaker 00

  Hmm. Yeah, I mean, French Canadians are, that's a different breed of Canadians.

• 2:14:56Speaker 02

  That's also part of the charm.

• 2:14:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:14:58Speaker 02

  They don't pretend to be friendly at all. It's like, yeah, we're, you're pretty much in France.

• 2:15:02Speaker 00

  Interesting. I don't know.

• 2:15:04Speaker 02

  I don't hate it because it's like, you know, Minnesota nice, entire country of Minnesota nice. And Minnesota nice isn't always really nice. They're.

• 2:15:12Speaker 00

  It's passive aggressive nice?

• 2:15:14Speaker 02

  Which is maybe worse sometimes.

• 2:15:15Speaker 00

  Yeah. Okay. I could see it. I, I mean, every Canadian, I mean, all the Canadians I deal with, and when I'm counting, it's Oldie and Biz are.

• 2:15:25Speaker 02

  Greer.

• 2:15:26Speaker 00

  And Greer. Well, so Greer doesn't count because he's, I think he renounced his citizenship to Canada.

• 2:15:31Speaker 02

  Something like that.

• 2:15:32Speaker 00

  He a hundred percent did.

• 2:15:33Speaker 05

  Kind of a dickhead too, the way.

• 2:15:34Speaker 00

  He's a dickhead to Canadians.

• 2:15:36Speaker 05

  Like, yeah.

• 2:15:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, he hates Canada.

• 2:15:38Speaker 00

  Uh, but Biz and Oldie, probably the two nicest, salt of the earth guys in the world. Like would take their shirt off their back for you and no questions asked. Yeah, so I'm going to say Canadians are good people. I'm going to, I'm going to still stand up for Canadians.

• 2:15:54Speaker 02

  Hand you the skin off his pouch.

• 2:15:55Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 2:15:57Speaker 05

  And that's like, that's a, that's a turf war.

• 2:16:00Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 2:16:00Speaker 05

  Buffalo, Canada.

• 2:16:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 2:16:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:16:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is a turf war.

• 2:16:04Speaker 02

  I, Drake, Drake is a good example.

• 2:16:06Speaker 05

  Of?

• 2:16:07Speaker 02

  Dickhead.

• 2:16:09Speaker 05

  Okay. I thought you were a Drake guy.

• 2:16:11Speaker 02

  Me?

• 2:16:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:16:12Speaker 02

  No, when have I been a Drake guy?

• 2:16:13Speaker 00

  A lot of times.

• 2:16:14Speaker 05

  I feel like you were a Drake guy for a while.

• 2:16:16Speaker 02

  You, we can just make stuff up on the show now?

• 2:16:19Speaker 00

  I'm pretty sure.

• 2:16:20Speaker 02

  Love doing that. This is, this is, that, that's the most insane thing I've ever heard.

• 2:16:23Speaker 00

  New album.

• 2:16:24Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Back in like 2018, 2019, I said, I didn't like Drake and you told me that was a bad take.

• 2:16:30Speaker 00

  Well, he does make good music.

• 2:16:32Speaker 02

  Disagree.

• 2:16:34Speaker 00

  Oh, you think his music sucks?

• 2:16:35Speaker 02

  I just, I personally don't like Drake.

• 2:16:37Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 2:16:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:16:38Speaker 00

  But do you like his music?

• 2:16:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:16:40Speaker 00

  Okay. You think his music sucks?

• 2:16:42Speaker 02

  I don't, I personally don't like it.

• 2:16:43Speaker 00

  Got it. Drake guy.

• 2:16:47Speaker 05

  I am a 34 year old male who's very out of shape, like 70% out of shape.

• 2:16:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:16:55Speaker 00

  Wait, hold on.

• 2:16:55Speaker 02

  How does that work?

• 2:16:56Speaker 00

  Hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 2:16:58Speaker 05

  You said.

• 2:16:58Speaker 00

  Hold on, hold on, hold on. Timeout, timeout, timeout, timeout.

• 2:17:01Speaker 05

  Well.

• 2:17:02Speaker 00

  Timeout, timeout.

• 2:17:03Speaker 05

  70% out of shape.

• 2:17:04Speaker 00

  No, no, timeout. I'm just trying to figure it out. I, I think I'm 82% out of shape.

• 2:17:10Speaker 02

  What happens at 100% out of shape?

• 2:17:12Speaker 00

  You're just, you're just.

• 2:17:14Speaker 02

  Is that death? It's 100% death. It's like in a video game, you have a life meter and that's the red part.

• 2:17:19Speaker 00

  No, I'm only, I'm only like 40%. I'm like 78% out of shape.

• 2:17:24Speaker 05

  I'm like 35.

• 2:17:25Speaker 00

  I've gone to the gym a couple of times the last couple of weeks.

• 2:17:28Speaker 02

  I fluctuate between 70 and 95.

• 2:17:31Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 2:17:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. Usually between eighty-nine and ninety-four, yeah.

• 2:17:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like this though. So it's like, you're not a hundred percent out of shape. There's some part of you that's in shape.

• 2:17:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:17:41Speaker 04

  What constitutes shape?

• 2:17:43Speaker 05

  Food, it's just if I've.

• 2:17:47Speaker 05

  In good shape.

• 2:17:48Speaker 04

  Like, running shape, that doesn't.

• 2:17:49Speaker 00

  No, that's, I've been a hundred percent out of running shape for years. But I could still lift heavy things. What?

• 2:17:58Speaker 04

  Like lifting, lifting shape is di- is different.

• 2:18:01Speaker 00

  Like, I could live, you're like, hey, move that piece of furniture, I could still fucking do it. So, yeah, I'm seventy-eight percent out of shape.

• 2:18:07Speaker 02

  I can do chores. That's where I'm at right now. I'm able to do most chores.

• 2:18:12Speaker 00

  I put an old chair into my alley this morning. Does that not count for anything? My wife was like, throw that chair out. I said, yes. Actually, she told me to do it two days ago. Today I did it.

• 2:18:23Speaker 04

  I have a good question.

• 2:18:24Speaker 02

  You have a good.

• 2:18:24Speaker 04

  How many flights of steps until you're out of breath? Does that constitute how out of shape you are?

• 2:18:32Speaker 05

  No.

• 2:18:32Speaker 02

  No, I think that's just like cardio.

• 2:18:34Speaker 00

  Two.

• 2:18:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:18:35Speaker 00

  Two flights of steps.

• 2:18:36Speaker 04

  So if you go to the second floor?

• 2:18:38Speaker 00

  No, third floor.

• 2:18:40Speaker 04

  Third floor.

• 2:18:40Speaker 00

  Second floor I can handle.

• 2:18:41Speaker 04

  Second floor you can do.

• 2:18:42Speaker 00

  I can handle second floor. Third floor is like, oh, my God, is this ever gonna end? Yeah, that's, that's the, that's the honest truth. Like, there was. Yeah, I'm good for twenty-six steps.

• 2:18:56Speaker 05

  How often do you take the stairs at work?

• 2:18:58Speaker 00

  I actually take it all the time now because we did that one Cuervo ad in the, in the elevator and my, in my brain, I said, that's just, that's just the Cuervo room now. And I just don't take it anymore.

• 2:19:07Speaker 02

  That's like my bare minimum for being a functional adult is, like, don't take the elevator one flight of steps. As long as I can stay there, then I'm doing okay. Wait, Brandon takes the elevator?

• 2:19:18Speaker 00

  Every single time.

• 2:19:20Speaker 02

  That's ridiculous.

• 2:19:21Speaker 00

  Every single time.

• 2:19:22Speaker 05

  Like I said, I live near the forty-niners practice facility. Do I start training outside of it and see if I get injured too?

• 2:19:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:19:28Speaker 00

  He's seventy percent out of shape?

• 2:19:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:19:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, he should. This is a good experiment.

• 2:19:33Speaker 00

  I think he needs to get to fifty percent out of shape and then start the experiment because seventy percent out of shape, he could just get injured just walking down the street. Like, I'm, like I said, as someone who lives in the seventy percent zone, I could get injured at any moment.

• 2:19:46Speaker 04

  PFT often does that.

• 2:19:47Speaker 00

  What?

• 2:19:48Speaker 04

  Just get.

• 2:19:48Speaker 00

  Get injured?

• 2:19:49Speaker 02

  Well, it's, it's all.

• 2:19:50Speaker 00

  A lot of injuries.

• 2:19:51Speaker 02

  It's all stemming from the one, the back is the, is the problem.

• 2:19:54Speaker 00

  Well, I mean, the calf we dealt with for a long time.

• 2:19:56Speaker 02

  That, that's because of the back. It's all, it's all due to, all due to the back.

• 2:20:00Speaker 00

  I'm not a doctor.

• 2:20:01Speaker 02

  It's the posterior chain.

• 2:20:02Speaker 00

  Foot, what?

• 2:20:03Speaker 02

  The foot was, that was ten years ago, Hank. Bringing up old stuff, but yeah, the foot was, I did break my foot walking. Correct, walking. So did Max.

• 2:20:11Speaker 00

  So did Max.

• 2:20:11Speaker 02

  Same injury. It could have happened to anybody here.

• 2:20:13Speaker 00

  So did Mincy.

• 2:20:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:20:14Speaker 00

  Three great athletes.

• 2:20:16Speaker 02

  Really solid, really in shape people.

• 2:20:18Speaker 04

  He wasn't even.

• 2:20:19Speaker 00

  He stepped.

• 2:20:20Speaker 04

  And he also wasn't drinking when he did it.

• 2:20:21Speaker 02

  That's true. Max and I have.

• 2:20:22Speaker 04

  We were both drunk.

• 2:20:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, drunk. Um, I think this guy should absolutely do it and we should get on the phone with our friends at Morgan and Morgan. If you get, if you like pull a hamstring, exercising next to the Niners substation, is that an actionable claim?

• 2:20:39Speaker 00

  I got a question. If all your injuries come from your back, shouldn't you just fix your back?

• 2:20:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes. But unfortunately, you can't have spinal surgery.

• 2:20:49Speaker 00

  No, but like.

• 2:20:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:20:50Speaker 00

  Going to like physical therapy and stuff.

• 2:20:52Speaker 02

  Well, I do. I do that.

• 2:20:53Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 2:20:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I did shout out Jerry. He's my medical consultant. I got an epidural last week. When I say that my life is different right now. I, I feel so good.

• 2:21:03Speaker 00

  Jerry's sitting over there.

• 2:21:04Speaker 02

  Jerry gave me a back shot last week.

• 2:21:06Speaker 04

  The look on Jerry's face when he was like.

• 2:21:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, Jerry gave me a great, the best feeling back shot I've ever had.

• 2:21:12Speaker 05

  Jerry and Chef Donnie.

• 2:21:13Speaker 02

  Chef Donnie, they're my two guys.

• 2:21:15Speaker 00

  Fixing his back.

• 2:21:16Speaker 05

  That's all you need.

• 2:21:16Speaker 00

  And Billy Football previously.

• 2:21:18Speaker 02

  And when Billy fixed, yeah, that was, that was something different.

• 2:21:21Speaker 00

  What was that for?

• 2:21:21Speaker 02

  That was my, uh, my elbow.

• 2:21:23Speaker 00

  Is that?

• 2:21:24Speaker 02

  All linked to the posterior chain. Yeah, no, like, being a little bit honest, like, having a back injury is like.

• 2:21:32Speaker 00

  Oh, it's the worst.

• 2:21:33Speaker 02

  It is the worst because it's like, you can't do anything. I, I was actually really thankful that, that I had the, like, stuff that we had to do on the podcast. To make me get out of bed in the morning because I think if I didn't have like Big Ten Media Day to go to every day. I probably just would have laid in bed the entire week because it would take me like twenty-five minutes to get out of bed, which is, is tough. So I'm feeling great right now.

• 2:21:56Speaker 00

  No, it sucks. The two times I've thrown out my back, it's probably the most serious I've ever gotten about like rehab and doing physical therapy like three, four times a week because it's the only fix.

• 2:22:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I'm gonna be a big time yoga guy now, I think. I think you're gonna catch me at yoga up to two or three times a week. Maybe more.

• 2:22:16Speaker 05

  All right, last one. Uh, hey, boys, there's always at least four teams who make the NFL playoffs that didn't the previous year. This year, I got five new teams. Chiefs, Falcons, Bengals, Commanders, and Lions in. Broncos, Panthers, Patriots, Forty-Niners, Green Bay out.

• 2:22:34Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 2:22:35Speaker 05

  Big fan, would love to hear you discuss.

• 2:22:37Speaker 00

  Say it again. Say the list again.

• 2:22:39Speaker 05

  Chiefs, Falcons, Bengals, Commanders, Lions in.

• 2:22:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:22:44Speaker 00

  I think three of those five. I don't know which three.

• 2:22:47Speaker 05

  Broncos, Panthers, Patriots, Forty-Niners, Green Bay out.

• 2:22:52Speaker 02

  Broncos, Panthers, Patriots.

• 2:22:55Speaker 05

  Forty-Niners, Green Bay.

• 2:22:58Speaker 02

  Wow, I actually, I, I kind of agree with this guy.

• 2:23:02Speaker 05

  I think he's dead wrong.

• 2:23:04Speaker 02

  About what?

• 2:23:05Speaker 05

  I think it's gonna be two out of five in, two out of five out.

• 2:23:08Speaker 02

  Which two in?

• 2:23:10Speaker 05

  Uh, Chiefs and Lions in.

• 2:23:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:23:16Speaker 05

  Forty-Niners and Panthers out.

• 2:23:19Speaker 02

  Okay, so not the Pa- you think the Patriots are going to make the playoffs?

• 2:23:22Speaker 00

  You think the Commanders are not gonna make the playoffs?

• 2:23:23Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 2:23:24Speaker 05

  God, no.

• 2:23:24Speaker 02

  Interesting. Okay.

• 2:23:26Speaker 00

  God, no.

• 2:23:27Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 2:23:27Speaker 00

  That was a little harsh. God, no?

• 2:23:29Speaker 02

  Care to make it interesting, Hank?

• 2:23:31Speaker 00

  Want to bet an El Camino?

• 2:23:35Speaker 02

  What, Max?

• 2:23:35Speaker 04

  Would like, I'd like a double or nothing on the El Camino.

• 2:23:37Speaker 00

  Or what about?

• 2:23:41Speaker 02

  You want two broken El Caminos?

• 2:23:42Speaker 00

  No, no, but what?

• 2:23:44Speaker 04

  We could figure this out.

• 2:23:47Speaker 02

  Los Caminos.

• 2:23:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. PFT's got another motor vehicle you could win off of Hank.

• 2:23:53Speaker 05

  No, we, we, we can discuss.

• 2:23:54Speaker 00

  I mean, you like it, you like doing the sport.

• 2:23:58Speaker 02

  His golf cart.

• 2:23:59Speaker 05

  Oh, I don't need a golf cart. I don't have a, I don't have a vacation home.

• 2:24:02Speaker 02

  You think you're not a real golf guy?

• 2:24:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:24:05Speaker 02

  That's sad.

• 2:24:05Speaker 05

  I, no, I, I.

• 2:24:07Speaker 00

  If you had a personal golf cart at one of your clubs, that would be sick.

• 2:24:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:24:11Speaker 05

  No.

• 2:24:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:24:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, it would.

• 2:24:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, it would.

• 2:24:13Speaker 05

  I don't think that's an option.

• 2:24:14Speaker 00

  That'd be so swaggy. Well, you haven't asked.

• 2:24:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. If you just pulled up with one, they'd be like, yeah, that's, that's so.

• 2:24:20Speaker 05

  I mean, golf carts are golf carts.

• 2:24:22Speaker 00

  And they'd be like, where'd you get that? You'd be like, Commanders didn't make the playoffs.

• 2:24:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:24:26Speaker 00

  I said, God, no, on August tenth, and I was right.

• 2:24:28Speaker 02

  Hank, let me ask you this. Do any of the, the golf carts at your club have a lithium battery? And a brand new solenoid and motor controller?

• 2:24:38Speaker 05

  Probably.

• 2:24:39Speaker 02

  I doubt it. I highly.

• 2:24:40Speaker 00

  I would very much doubt it.

• 2:24:41Speaker 05

  It's a fucking golf cart.

• 2:24:43Speaker 02

  Highly doubt that.

• 2:24:44Speaker 05

  What do you need a controller, what do you, what do you need a controller for, for a golf cart?

• 2:24:48Speaker 00

  To turn it on.

• 2:24:49Speaker 02

  It's, it's part of the, part of the motor, Hank. It controls the motor. It's on the inside.

• 2:24:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, so a key.

• 2:24:54Speaker 02

  Idiot. No, you're, no, you're thinking of a remote control.

• 2:24:56Speaker 04

  There's definitely levels. Cook like his flights of me later or something. I'm just trying to.

• 2:25:00Speaker 02

  What's going on? What's going on over here, Max?

• 2:25:03Speaker 05

  Don't want or need that, and it doesn't even work.

• 2:25:05Speaker 04

  That's awesome.

• 2:25:06Speaker 00

  So what are you gonna bet?

• 2:25:08Speaker 05

  I don't know. We'll see.

• 2:25:11Speaker 04

  What is something that Hank loves?

• 2:25:13Speaker 00

  Golf.

• 2:25:13Speaker 02

  Golf.

• 2:25:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, and driving.

• 2:25:16Speaker 04

  But if he gave me golf.

• 2:25:17Speaker 00

  Combine the two.

• 2:25:19Speaker 02

  Making faces.

• 2:25:23Speaker 02

  All right, what if, what if the, uh, if the Patriots miss the playoffs, they're not allowed to make any more faces?

• 2:25:27Speaker 00

  No, I, I actually, that would ruin the show. I need the faces. The faces are, are the best.

• 2:25:34Speaker 02

  Have you ever been on a, like a, uh, like quitting cold turkey, no faces streak?

• 2:25:40Speaker 05

  No, it's just, that's, I'm, I'm, I was born to make faces. I don't, like, that's just how, how I live.

• 2:25:46Speaker 00

  You emote.

• 2:25:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:25:47Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:25:47Speaker 00

  So we do as humans.

• 2:25:50Speaker 05

  I'm trying to look at, at Patriots and, and Commander's futures.

• 2:25:56Speaker 00

  You could probably make a.

• 2:25:59Speaker 02

  Double bet?

• 2:26:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, you guys should just, you guys should just both bet a significant amount, like one bets.

• 2:26:06Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:26:07Speaker 00

  PFT bets Commanders to make the playoffs, Patriots to miss.

• 2:26:10Speaker 02

  I think, Hank, one thing that we talked about a little bit.

• 2:26:12Speaker 04

  DraftKings to make that.

• 2:26:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:26:13Speaker 02

  I don't think you were here for it, Hank, but what do you think about Diggs being like, hey, I'd rather play with Jaden than with Drake?

• 2:26:20Speaker 05

  Patriots are minus two twenty-five. I mean.

• 2:26:22Speaker 02

  Kind of a fun wrinkle to the offseason.

• 2:26:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is. Um, you talked a lot of shit about Diggs. I mean, he's, he's married now, so it's like, he's, he's good.

• 2:26:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:26:30Speaker 05

  Um.

• 2:26:31Speaker 00

  Oh, you missed that when you were on, I said it would be so perfectly full circle if Diggs was awesome for the Commanders and then actually got engaged on this, on the field.

• 2:26:39Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:26:40Speaker 05

  Patriots are minus two twenty-five to make the playoffs. The Commanders are plus two thirty to make the playoffs.

• 2:26:46Speaker 02

  I think.

• 2:26:47Speaker 00

  You love a dog.

• 2:26:48Speaker 02

  I, yeah, I think every team that Diggs has joined. Has maybe, has maybe won the division.

• 2:26:54Speaker 05

  I'm not gonna trash.

• 2:26:54Speaker 02

  After he joined them.

• 2:26:56Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 2:26:57Speaker 05

  You, probably not, but like.

• 2:26:59Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 2:27:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, Diggs is a good player.

• 2:27:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's, well, what I'm saying is he's, he's really good at picking teams that are about to be really good.

• 2:27:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:27:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, wait, hold on, let me look it up. That would be, that would be a crazy stat.

• 2:27:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:27:11Speaker 00

  All right.

• 2:27:11Speaker 05

  I'm not gonna trash the guy. He's a good player.

• 2:27:14Speaker 02

  I would never trash him. Great player.

• 2:27:16Speaker 00

  Stefan.

• 2:27:17Speaker 02

  Family man.

• 2:27:18Speaker 00

  Zach filibuster.

• 2:27:19Speaker 02

  Loves his boys.

• 2:27:21Speaker 00

  Give them steaks that they can have.

• 2:27:24Speaker 05

  Steak options. We got filet, sirloin.

• 2:27:26Speaker 00

  No, Joe, for the bet.

• 2:27:28Speaker 05

  Oh shit, my bad. Yup, okay, boys, what do we think? Current bet is El Camino and a peanut butter sized tattoo, correct?

• 2:27:35Speaker 02

  A peanut butter cup sized?

• 2:27:36Speaker 05

  Peanut butter lid sized tattoo? Thoughts on switching this to a tiny El Camino in an El Camino, like a full body tattoo?

• 2:27:47Speaker 02

  Like a car sized tattoo?

• 2:27:48Speaker 05

  But the, but the Camino is gold, so it's golden, how goes Camino or body tat? What about, like, the, the bet is, like, we're not gonna know the El Camino bet until the end, like, the, the NFL bet's gonna end before that.

• 2:28:02Speaker 02

  What if?

• 2:28:02Speaker 00

  Also, I'm a little bummed at the El Camino bet, like, I, I feel like the play-in should factor in somehow, because it would be electric if the play-in was part of it.

• 2:28:10Speaker 02

  That's my, we might have to do a double or nothing if it's play-in.

• 2:28:14Speaker 05

  And is there a super team clause? Now LeBron has gone to the Sixers. No. No?

• 2:28:19Speaker 02

  But if anybody on the Wizards is, uh, accused of, you know, a Wander Franco type offense, I think I should be able to get out. Deal?

• 2:28:29Speaker 05

  No.

• 2:28:30Speaker 00

  Why no deal?

• 2:28:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, why no deal? So you're pro pedophilia?

• 2:28:34Speaker 05

  I'm not, but I'm not, like, I'm not gonna reward you for having a pedophile on your team.

• 2:28:38Speaker 02

  No, you'd be rewarding me for disavowing the pedophile.

• 2:28:42Speaker 05

  You shouldn't have had him in the first place. That's bad, that's just bad, like.

• 2:28:45Speaker 02

  Things happen, like, I, I can't keep an eye on everyone.

• 2:28:48Speaker 00

  You will make draft picks.

• 2:28:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:28:49Speaker 00

  And Dingers only. Uh, confirmed, every time Stefan Diggs started, uh, with a new team, they won the division.

• 2:28:55Speaker 02

  Let's go. Okay, I like that.

• 2:28:56Speaker 00

  Vikings 2015, Bills 2020, Texans 2024, Patriots 2025.

• 2:29:03Speaker 00

  That's, that's a good stat.

• 2:29:04Speaker 05

  For you, yeah?

• 2:29:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:29:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:29:07Speaker 05

  I was just saying, God, no, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't feel as confidently about the commanders as I do about the Wizards.

• 2:29:13Speaker 02

  Okay, and that's talking Wizards.

• 2:29:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's talking Wizards.

• 2:29:17Speaker 02

  Everyone just can't keep the Wizards off their lips. It's an exciting time of year.

• 2:29:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. Okay, good show, boys. Very good show.

• 2:29:27Speaker 00

  You have birthdays?

• 2:29:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, are we gonna do a, a number or anything?

• 2:29:30Speaker 00

  I mean, no one wants to win this.

• 2:29:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's kind of funny when somebody wins.

• 2:29:35Speaker 04

  At least do it.

• 2:29:35Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:29:36Speaker 04

  You try to lose this one, though.

• 2:29:38Speaker 02

  I'll do zero.

• 2:29:39Speaker 00

  I'm gonna say seventy-two.

• 2:29:42Speaker 05

  Three.

• 2:29:44Speaker 04

  Forty-three.

• 2:29:46Speaker 02

  Seven.

• 2:29:49Speaker 04

  Darren Sproles.

• 2:29:51Speaker 04

  Sixty-nine. Nineteen. Nineteen for Jacob.

• 2:29:56Speaker 00

  How do you press play on this?

• 2:29:58Speaker 04

  Wait, what did you, what did you guys say? Sixty-nine for Colton. Fifteen for Shane. Memes? Twelve for memes.

• 2:30:06Speaker 00

  I thought you could.

• 2:30:07Speaker 04

  Jonah, you want a number? Jonah's got twenty-one. Jerry, you want a number? Jerry's got seven.

• 2:30:14Speaker 00

  Where's the, you press play on this? I thought Part of My Balls, you could, you could press play. Are you doing it? Okay, he's, he's doing it. So, random number generator to a hundred. Ready? Go.

• 2:30:27Speaker 04

  We're doing this on Part of My Balls. Go to partofmyballs.com. Shout out that guy.

• 2:30:30Speaker 00

  Two.

• 2:30:31Speaker 02

  Whew, that was close.

• 2:30:32Speaker 00

  So, you did one to ten.

• 2:30:38Speaker 02

  Also, Zach, do zero to a hundred.

• 2:30:39Speaker 00

  Ninety-three, ninety-three.

• 2:30:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:30:42Speaker 00

  Cause I, I picked zero. Did anyone get ninety-three?

• 2:30:44Speaker 04

  But, but PFT did.

• 2:30:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:30:46Speaker 02

  You have to do zero through.

• 2:30:47Speaker 04

  Zero clause, fifty-four with zero.

• 2:30:49Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:30:49Speaker 04

  Fifty-four.

• 2:30:50Speaker 00

  And I have fifty-four?

• 2:30:51Speaker 04

  Nah. All right, fifty-four official one.

• 2:30:53Speaker 02

  Okay. Happy birthday to, uh, George Soros. Happy birthday to Nikki Smoak's sister. Happy birthday to

• 2:31:04Speaker 02

  Erwin Schrödinger. Happy birthday to Ace Bailey, uh, Boogie Cousins, the McCourty Twins, Dallas Braden, Fidel Castro. Love you guys.