Stavros Halkias, The Clippers Go To Jail, Mt Rushmore Duel, CFB Week 1 + Fyre Fest

The Clippers are in NBA Jail. We talk about the massive penalty Adam Silver laid down on the Clippers after the Kawhi/Tree Scandal. Possible alternative punishments and winners and losers (00:00:00-00:21:16). CFB Week 1, Tiger and Romo taking Ubers and other stories (00:21:16-00:32:23). Zac and Hank have their Mt Rushmore duel to finish off Mt Rushmore season (00:32:23-00:57:13). Stavros Halkias stops by in studio to talk about his new special out September 8th on Netflix, Ravens, the fact that idiots like us are doing well and tons more (00:57:13-02:07:52). We finish with Fyre Fest of the week and Hank has an existential Golf crisis after the Grudge Match in Florida. You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take https://barstool.link/pardon-my-take

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, Pardon My Take fans. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or Netflix.

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• 0:49Speaker 00

  On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we've got our good friend Stavi in the building in studio, Stavros Halkias. He has a new special coming out on Tuesday, September 8th on Netflix. Please watch. Great to catch up with him. Talk about everything that's going on. Talk about how ridiculous this life is that we, we, we shared some funny moments of him just becoming a legitimate star, us writing a book, just all of it. Very fun. Uh, we're going to talk about the Clippers being dead. We're going to do the duel. Mount

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Rushmore duel between Zach and Hank. College football week one is here. We, during Fire Fest, which I'm sure you're going to want to listen to Fyre Fest because we might be talking some recap from the grudge match that happened on Wednesday.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  It's going to be a pretty contentious show, honestly.

• 1:44Speaker 00

  Yes. We're grudging. We're still grudging. Uh, we will, we, so we put out the Mount Rushmore poll. So we'll recap Mount Rushmore season during Fyre Fest as well. We're going to get right back to the show. Stella Blue Coffee's new can lattes are here. Crafted with 100% Colombian coffee, each can is a good source of protein and comes in two smooth flavors, Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. And whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are for those always on the go and for those who care. Stella Blue is more than just great coffee. It's about giving back. I named the brand after my rescue dog Stella who inspired our mission to help more dogs find their forever homes.

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• 3:08Speaker 00

  Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, September 4th, and the Los Angeles Clippers are dead.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  Death penalty.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  Death penalty.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Death penalty plus.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  The zombie Clippers. Uh, they have found that, uh, the responsibility for the Kawhi Leonard fake tree deal and numerous other fake advertising deals that were designed to circumvent the cap are the direct responsibility of Steve Ballmer as well as Lawrence Frank.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Uh, the entire Clippers are paying a severe punishment. They're taking away five first round picks.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. So 2029, 2030, 31, 32, 33, and then also a fine of $30 million to Steve Ballmer. Steve Ballmer suspended for a year. Lawrence Frank is suspended for I think six months. Is that right? And then Kawhi has to pay $700,000 in restitution for improper benefits. And Uncle Dennis is now done.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. So Uncle Dennis, by the way, I mean, I guess his only job was to get Kawhi paid.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Consider it mission accomplished.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  Oh, I read some of those texts and email exchanges. Uncle Dennis, he was, when he was just like, I will burn this whole thing to the ground.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  We should all want to have an Uncle Dennis in our lives.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  Yeah. The big winner of this though, Pablo Torre, friend of the program, uh, he was right through and through. He started this entire thing. There were a lot of people who thought that he was wrong. He ended up being right all the way through. And it's crazy because, uh, the biggest loser is not Steve Ballmer and it's not, uh, Lawrence Frank and it's not Kawhi. I think the biggest loser is Clippers fans. They get screwed in this. Their owner and general manager do illegal things according to the NBA. And what is the punishment? Your team is now going to be in hell and suck for an extended period of time. That sucks for Clippers fans like that. It feels like the punishment should have

• 5:07Speaker 00

  been Steve Ballmer, you have to sell the Clippers or something like that. Not, hey, Clippers fans, guess what? You have no future for the next five years.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  I think the punishment should have been that Steve Ballmer has to go out there and actually plant 50 million trees.

• 5:19Speaker 00

  That would have been nice too.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Maybe like for every million trees he plants, then he gets, I don't know, a million dollars off of his fine.

• 5:25Speaker 00

  What about Steve Ballmer has to just get super high?

• 5:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  Smoke a bunch of trees.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  I mean, you, can you imagine how much he'd sweat?

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  If he just got like anxiety level high.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  A live cam of every single NBA, every single NBA game in the 2026, 27 season, Steve Ballmer has to be like gravity bong level high. And we have just a picture in a picture of Steve Ballmer freaking out in the corner. That would be a fair punishment.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  And he, maybe he has to watch Steve Ballmer videos while he's super high where he's screaming, developers, developers, developers, developers.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  Probably trip you out even more if you were high. Now, I, I do think. Do you agree though with my take that the losers are the Clippers fans?

• 6:04Speaker 02

  I think the Clippers fans are the biggest losers. I think Ballmer also a pretty big loser in the end of this. Also ESPN kind of a big loser because

• 6:11Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  They put out a report last week saying that the NBA had, had concluded its investigation and not found any wrongdoing. And so just expect everything to kind of be brushed under the rug. Um, they did have multiple sources in that article. I think what happened, the NBA did a very good job with the investigation and the NBA did not let the Clippers think that they were in any trouble until the final report came out after the fact. Um, so they probably did. I don't know if you watch any interrogation videos on YouTube, big cat.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  I watched a lot of them. They probably did the read technique on them, which is you tell them, you minimize the crime they committed. You're like, listen, every, every team in the league is doing the same thing. So we're actually not after you. We're after all the other teams. So if you say it was like, what $30 million from aspiration, that's small potatoes. We don't really care about that. Tell us what else you did. So we know what else to look for.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  The Clippers were like, this is awesome. Sounds like we're not in trouble. And then Adam Silver leaves the room. He's like, I nailed them.

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  I nailed those fuckers.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  I nailed them.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  So, um,

• 7:13Speaker 00

  Yeah. The, you're right on that. Like the ESPN is definitely a loser in this because their report was just flat out wrong. And that was also the period of time when everyone was dunking on Pablo and being like, hey, you were wrong. This was nothing.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 00

  Turns out it was a lot of things.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  I think, I think it was the Clippers telling Pablo like, yeah, we're not in any trouble. And then the actual NBA would not comment on it until after that article came out and they said, we disagree with everything that was in this report.

• 7:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. The, the other, uh, losers in this, uh, Steve Ballmer is, is a loser in the fact that he went on national television with Ramona Shelburne a year ago and like denied everything to a level that was somewhat convincing. Like, hey, you know what? Maybe he's the owner. He doesn't know exactly what's going on. He's not meddling. And then the, the, the evidence came out and was like, no, no, he knows exactly what's going on.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 00

  And he was meddling. And so he looks like an absolute idiot for that.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  So many smoking guns.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  Mark Cuban. Look, we've had Mark Cuban on the show. I like Mark Cuban, but he went like scorched earth to defend his billionaire brother.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Brotherhood.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. The Brotherhood of Billionaires.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  Uh, he looks stupid. I have a, I have a winner for you that is, uh, not, nothing to do with the NBA. You ready for it? Deshaun Watson.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  Kawhi Leonard is now the worst trade or the worst acquisition of all time in sports.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  10 first round picks.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  10 first rounds. So this is what the Clippers, the Clippers used to get Kawhi Leonard now, given that he's been, he's cost them five future picks. The Clippers used the 2021 first round pick, the 2022 first round pick, 23 first round pick, 24 first round pick swap. Uh, yeah, two 23 picks, by the way, 24 first round pick, 25 pick swap, 26 pick, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33. Those are all, uh, part of this punishment. SGA, ever heard of them? Uh, and then $30 million fine and suspensions for everyone involved. All for Kawhi Leonard

• 9:18Speaker 00

  to win zero rings, 47 games played, uh, averaged 47 games played in his seven seasons with the, with the LA Clippers.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  And I think what was the farthest they went? Did they go to a conference title in the bubble?

• 9:31Speaker 02

  They went to the Western Conference Finals.

• 9:33Speaker 00

  Bubble. So that is the worst player acquisition of all time, given everything that you lay it out. Like you, you, I don't, what could be worse?

• 9:43Speaker 02

  10 first round picks.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  It's a decade of first round picks, plus the two-time MVP, plus.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Your owner gets suspended for a year.

• 9:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  And Kawhi just gets to go back to the most protected, like the place where he is the, the biggest, you know, has the most fans because he won a championship there.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Kawhi's statement that he put out today was, was all time. It was essentially like, I fail, I personally failed because my family did some stuff that I was not aware of. And I love my family. Thank you, Kawhi Leonard.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Like 700,000 or that's what it was, right?

• 10:16Speaker 00

  $700,000.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  That's nothing to Kawhi Leonard, considering how much he's gotten paid.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  It's like a half a tree.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  That's, yeah, that'll be fine. I'd like to see him and Ballmer actually team up and, and plant some of these fucking trees.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  It would be nice.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  You can't just, you can't just, that's to me is the worst part is how many years did they take off the, uh, the, the future of the entire planet?

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  By not planting those trees.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Shout out, by the way, uh, Uncle Dennis, all time fall guy, because Kawhi is going to get trade, because now, I don't know if the trade is actually like completed, because they're waiting for this, but now the Clippers, there's no reason for them not to do this trade, because they could get first round picks from the Raptors.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  I also saw, uh, someone threw out there, I don't think, so Adam Silver, this is, he, he's, it's funny that he's flexed his muscles a couple of times and, and two of the, the most notable times have just been the Clippers' expense, because it was Donald Sterling having to sell. Uh, someone online threw out the idea, uh, I can't find, I'm going to try to find it.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  I think I might have the same one. Is it related to the cup?

• 11:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, the, the, yeah.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Henry the Blasian.

• 11:20Speaker 00

  Henry the Blasian said that if the NBA was smart, they would put these five picks up for the winner of the NBA cup, which would be fantastic. And you'd also add in the element of the Clippers potentially being able to win back their own pick.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  That, why not? Why not? NBA do it.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is, it is a real death penalty for the Clippers, and it's not just because they're taking away their first round picks, which might be, you know, maybe top 10, maybe outside the top 10, not sure things.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Uh, but it's also that they don't have any picks to trade with.

• 11:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  So it's going to be almost impossible for them to acquire players via trade.

• 11:58Speaker 00

  No, they're in hell.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  It's, it's, it's going to be impossible to, uh, convince players to go there as a free agent. It is, uh, yeah, just as bad as death penalty. In fact, I was saying it might, this might be too harsh of a penalty, just because how else are the Clippers going to be able to get good players besides circumventing the cap even harder?

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  This might actually just convince them.

• 12:19Speaker 00

  They have to be even more bad boys.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Keep doing this, except we just got to not get caught. They might be pushing another sneaky winner. And this might be dumb, the way, I mean, you said Deshaun Watson, that kind of convinced me he's a winner in this.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, because when you think of like worst player acquisitions, Deshaun was the name, and now it's going to be Kawhi.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Maybe, just maybe, uh, the Major League Baseball Players Association. Because maybe Rob Manfred is watching this and he's like, wait, so if I put a salary cap in, that means I'm going to have to investigate teams and do a lot of legwork and legal, you know, uh, interviews with people to make sure that teams aren't circum, I'm going to have to enforce this rule.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  Or the opposite, he could do, he could be like, hey, players, we're going to put a salary cap in, but also just get an Uncle Dennis and ask about a, a, a tree deal.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Like, hey, we're having a salary cap, wink, wink.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. I won't, we won't, don't ask, don't tell.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Right.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Like steroids.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  I'll look, I'll look the other way. You guys get your cap owners, and if you want to hook a guy up with a, uh, a fake car dealership, that's between you and the Lord.

• 13:27Speaker 00

  I was listening, uh, Wendy was talking about it on, uh, I believe it was on, oh, it was SVP, and he did mention that, so this is not unprecedented. This happened with the Timberwolves and, uh, I believe it was Joe Smith, and they got a bunch of picks taken away. They actually ended up going to, uh, the conference finals like a year after, but that, they already had Kevin Garnett, which that, it's not apples to apples. But Wendy basically said that if the Clippers, the precedent that the Timberwolves set, they got a shitload of picks taken away, then they started cooperating and the NBA started showing leniency and gave him a couple picks back. The Clippers still have that possibility. Now, will they do that? Because Steve Ballmer released this statement and the Clippers released

• 14:10Speaker 00

  a statement being like, we completely, uh, disagree with all of this. And essentially like, this is false and we're going to fight it. If they start to play ball, they might get some of their picks back, which you gotta, like, if you're the Clippers, you gotta do that. Play ball.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess.

• 14:27Speaker 00

  Get two of your picks back.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  But the thing is, if you're, if you're Ballmer, you can outspend Adam Silver. You've got unlimited money.

• 14:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  So if you want to play the lawyer game, he's one guy, if he wants to go through with that, he can probably make life a living hell for Adam Silver.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  In hopes that he can kind of, you know, force his way back into, um, a, a lesser penalty.

• 14:46Speaker 00

  So, so I'm looking at it right now. Uh, when Joe, the Joe Smith thing happened, because it was like a deal where he signed a bunch of one-year deals. They guaranteed that he would get like a big deal at the end, so they could keep his bird rights. They took away the 01, 02, 03, 04, and 05 first round picks. The Timberwolves played ball, they gave him, the NBA gave him back the 03 and 05. So it ended up being a three pick punishment, not a five. That's what the, if you're a Clippers fan, like plead with Steve Ballmer to actually do something here to maybe get some of these picks back.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, if Ballmer was smart, he would just ask, he's in LA, so he should just ask his daughter's boyfriend to pay Kawhi all this money behind the scenes. That way, everything's nice and legal.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  That would have been a smarter move on his part.

• 15:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Uh, the statement from Kawhi is, is pretty funny. We've got a, a, a new, I think, Lee Leager in the, uh, in the realm of Rick Pitino's, I apologize for trusting the wrong people.

• 15:41Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  I accept full responsibility for lapses in judgment by people within my inner circle.

• 15:47Speaker 00

  Love that.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  That's such a good apology.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  So good.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  I love it, Kawhi.

• 15:50Speaker 00

  It's, it's my fault for letting other people speak on my, my behalf.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:56Speaker 00

  My bad.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, his statement was basically, did I do that?

• 15:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Whoops.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 16:01Speaker 00

  My bad.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  My bad.

• 16:02Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uncle Dennis, you know, Uncle Dennis. Everyone's got a crazy uncle. That's what he should have said.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  Hey, listen, I apologize, but also, isn't it the most relatable thing ever to have kind of a crazy uncle?

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Thanksgiving is going to be real awkward this year.

• 16:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. What is, I mean, Uncle Dennis has to, he has to have a nice, like, envelope waiting for him, right?

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Uh, he's in the uncle.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  He's already made it.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know. But like, he's, he's banned from talking to teams and stuff.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  He is in the Uncle Hall of Fame.

• 16:29Speaker 00

  If Kawhi, Kawhi, does Kawhi need now to win another title with the Raptors to save his legacy? Does Kawhi have a legacy? Is it this?

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, it's, it's winning a, he, what, two-time finals MVP?

• 16:43Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. I, I don't think Kawhi cares. I think he's like, I've done everything. I've accomplished everything.

• 16:49Speaker 00

  Kawhi might be one of those guys. When players say that they like, don't like, read anything here, anything, I think, I believe when, if Kawhi said that.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 00

  Like, he doesn't even know what the internet is.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  He might not know that this is even that big of a deal.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  I would imagine Kawhi just sits at his house and like stares at a wall, and then they're like, all right, Kawhi, time to go to practice.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:08Speaker 00

  He's like, all right.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  He just plugs in. I think the screensaver pops on. Now, do you think that this is, uh, it could have all been avoided if Kawhi had just showed up for a, a few photo shoots?

• 17:18Speaker 00

  Oh, they just planted a couple of trees.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, like if he planted three trees and let a professional photographer take a picture of them.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Hell, maybe even takes like a, a three-day trip to Brazil at some point.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Um, plants three trees, gets on a plane, flies back. I think the Clippers still get all.

• 17:33Speaker 00

  You get a little bit of a, yeah, a little, a little saving grace. It also, like I said, that Ballmer, uh, interview he did a year ago, I think the worst part about that for him is going on ESPN and talking to Ramona Shelburne and saying, I got scammed too.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  I got scammed by these guys. What do you want me to do? Which we now know is just not true.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Ballmer's a victim in this. Maybe, maybe the biggest victim.

• 17:58Speaker 00

  Please cry, please save one of your tears for the billionaires.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  We need you to. On behalf of the LA Clippers, we vehemently reject the NBA's findings, which are the result of a heavily biased investigation seeking to justify a predetermined narrative rather than the facts and evidence.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  How come they only investigated all the bad stuff we did? How come they didn't investigate all the real contracts that we've signed?

• 18:20Speaker 00

  Yeah. We intend to vigorously challenge these findings and penalties through every avenue available to us and look forward to an ethical and impartial arbitration process.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Uh, Zach.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  So is that just Steve Ballmer sitting in his office being like, review it?

• 18:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. Just over and over.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Go to the tape. Zach, what, what'd you just say that's got the boys cracking up?

• 18:38Speaker 00

  You gotta hit that mic, Zach.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  Oh, we're just trying to put ourselves in their shoes. Like, these are kind of good problems to have.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Memes, what did he actually say?

• 18:45Speaker 00

  What do you mean? Who?

• 18:47Speaker 03

  You only get fined 700,000?

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  That's not bad. Like, that's just like a, that's a little something.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  Kawhi's fine.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  They're in a great spot.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Memes, you gotta say, you're about to cry back there.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  Memes. Help us out memes.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  I'll tell you after.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  What? No, you gotta tell us now.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  So I'm a little sore from softball last night. I was like, I think I need a massage. Zach was like, don't go to the place down.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Terrible massage. That's all it was.

• 19:13Speaker 00

  What happened?

• 19:14Speaker 03

  It's just a bad, is a dog shit massage. My back still hurts.

• 19:17Speaker 00

  Oh, okay. Did they, did they jack you off?

• 19:20Speaker 03

  She was like, you want to do that? I was like, no. Like, I went in for legitimate massage and she just like, like, she like played around for a little bit. It was like, all right, jerk time. And I was like, no, I want, I need relief, like muscle relief here. My, look, my L1, L2 vertebrae are in pain.

• 19:37Speaker 00

  The only guy ever to go into a rub and tug and be like, no, I, I actually just wanted the Swedish massage.

• 19:42Speaker 03

  The photos looked like it was an up and up spot. I get there and it was straight to jerk. I was like, come on, man.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Zach, what were you wearing?

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Did you look hot? It was, is it your fault for looking hot that she wanted to jack you off?

• 19:52Speaker 00

  With those highs?

• 19:54Speaker 03

  No, I, I was just wearing, you know, standard gear. Nothing too crazy.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  I'm wondering if she saw like Barstool Sports stuff.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  All in is I walked in with pain.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  She's like, oh, you're, you're from that office. I know where, yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Walked in with pain, laughed with pain, boys.

• 20:05Speaker 00

  Oh, no. No, Zach. All right. So yeah, so the Clippers are screwed.

• 20:11Speaker 00

  Perfect ending to that, Zach.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, Clippers are hoes. Now, I do think that this kind of stuff happens in every sport.

• 20:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  I think there's a lot of cap circumvention.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  If you're an NBA, if you're an NBA team and you do any of this, you gotta stop right now because it's pretty clear that they're gonna, like, that's the one thing that the Clippers, they've been punished.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  I'm sure Pablo's getting hit up by a lot of people.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  And then the Clippers are gonna hit up.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  Pop, like, I bet you there's a backdoor Clippers are trying to hit up Pablo being like, what about these guys?

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, burn it all to the ground.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you take away every, Clippers are basically at the point now where they're hoping that every team gets their next five years first round picks taken away, then there's just no draft.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  So their next first round pick is in what? It's like 20, it's, it's not just five years from now.

• 20:54Speaker 00

  It's no, because it starts in 2029, so it's 2020, 2034. Hank still won't be in the invitational. 2034 is their next first round pick.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  And that person right now is 11 years old.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  That would be drafted. They got, they have to nail that pick though.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  They gotta nail, they gotta nail it now.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, start. Start scouting every middle school.

• 21:17Speaker 00

  Get it going now.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay, now, do you think that it happens maybe in that same city in the NBA?

• 21:23Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Like some, some of this.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  Lakers?

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I, maybe that team or maybe another team that's in Los Angeles. I don't know. Um, but like, if there's a player, a star player that you want to get and you have a massive mega blockbuster movie that's trying to be produced in that town.

• 21:41Speaker 00

  Intensely town?

• 21:42Speaker 02

  Player as the star with a lot of money moving in and out of the studios.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  That's interesting.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Do you think that that would be worth looking into?

• 21:50Speaker 00

  That's interesting. It wouldn't, it wouldn't be hard to take away the, the bubble championship. It's half a ring.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Well, I think you probably have to punish, um, wherever that player is playing right now.

• 22:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  I would say would probably need more punishment.

• 22:02Speaker 00

  That'll be good. Um, all right, let's talk some other sports stories. Before we do that, DraftKings, the wait is over. Football's here and so is DraftKings. The DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is in on the excitement. And this September, DraftKings is giving customers the opportunity to get boosted every football game day. That's right. Every game day, all month long, DraftKings customers can get a football profit boost. One app, every sport, all 50 states. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code TAKE. Spend just five bucks and get 200 in total rewards with, within 21 days, includes all markets. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours.

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• 23:27Speaker 00

  Okay, next, uh, stories are, it's two for, we got some driver's license taken away. Tony Romo, six months. Tiger Woods, five years.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Don't touch my driver's license.

• 23:40Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. And the good, good CO, uh, got canned. So, but Tiger Woods, I mean, that's the only place he feels normal.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:48Speaker 00

  So he's basically in jail.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Really, again, much like Steve Ballmer, Tiger Woods is the real victim of this.

• 23:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  That he's not gonna have any place that he can go and feel like a regular human being anymore. So, um, I guess thoughts and prayers to him. Good.

• 24:00Speaker 00

  Good for the rest of the world.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Every, literally everyone else that's on the road.

• 24:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. Also, if you're Tiger or Tony, like, I guess the fact that it happened on the same days, uh, they're, they're both gonna maybe be competing for, uh, future Uber commercial, which would go crazy if it was like Uber Pool and Tony Romo's picking up Tiger Woods.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Oh, you're saying that they can drive?

• 24:23Speaker 00

  No, they can get, no, no.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Hi, I'm Tony Romo.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  Uber Pool.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  And I'm driving for Lyft.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  No, Uber Pool. No, he's in, he's in the backseat and there was like, Tiger's like, oh shit, I hope I don't get paired with a, a random weirdo.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  Can't, don't have a driver's license, opens the door, boom, Tony Romo, I don't know, Tiger.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uber, Uber Pool. You never know.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  You never know. Um, but yeah, that was, uh, I feel like we're, it's Tiger now.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  These things happen in threes.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Who else is getting their license taken away?

• 24:54Speaker 02

  Anyone?

• 24:54Speaker 00

  We're looking around.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Anyone?

• 24:56Speaker 00

  Is someone in the show?

• 24:57Speaker 02

  There's gotta be a baseball manager that's, that's working on a couple DUIs.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  We haven't heard from Tony La Russa in a while.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  That's true. Yeah.

• 25:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. He's, he's, he's out there somewhere. Uh, do you guys have anything to, do you care at all about the Browns assistant GM wearing a sweatshirt that said, Los Angeles made me do it in her press conference, which seems pretty, it seems very Browns.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't think that there's anything really deep to make of it, but besides the fact that

• 25:26Speaker 02

  this was a really dumb thing to do and why?

• 25:29Speaker 00

  It's.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Like, it shows bad judgment, I think, but, but ultimately, do I think it impacts the job that she's, probably not, but, um.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  It's the Browns. Like, the Browns can make a story out of a sweatshirt. It's, it's, it's impossible. You'd say, no way could a, could a sweatshirt be a headline, but the Browns can do it.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  The Browns did it.

• 25:46Speaker 00

  They can find a way.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Actually, they've done it multiple times. Remember John Dorsey?

• 25:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  They made lots of stories out of that sweatshirt.

• 25:52Speaker 00

  He, his sweatshirt was nice.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  This sweatshirt looks like it's been hanging up in a moth closet for the last six years.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  It looks like Bill Belichick's sweatshirt.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, while you're, you have the computer up, can we just click on today's news, the top story, just to see right there?

• 26:08Speaker 00

  Okay. Sydney Sweeney stuns in Venice fashion.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm a bit of a, uh.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  We're fashionista. Yeah, this is our fashion portion of the podcast.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  Zoom in on, on the, uh, strap, where the straps connect to the main dress, that, that area.

• 26:21Speaker 00

  Okay. Sydney Sweeney, Sydney Sweeney leads league in, in, uh, most times pulled up on this computer.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  I would say so.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  Mid show.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 00

  Not even close.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  That's a really good dress.

• 26:30Speaker 00

  That's a really nice dress. You could tell the, the, the, the design, the tailoring, the design. Do you tailor a dress or is that a suit? We're fashion.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  You can tailor it. Yeah, you can tailor it.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. We're fashion show, first and foremost.

• 26:43Speaker 02

  That is just a really, it's a really good dress.

• 26:46Speaker 00

  It's a good dress.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  I like the cut.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a good dress.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  One of the best, better cuts. I like the material too. I'd say that's the second best dress I've seen her wear.

• 26:54Speaker 00

  What, uh, what game are you guys most excited for this weekend? Do you have one?

• 26:59Speaker 02

  I mean, LSU Clemson. I think that's the, the Tigers, the Death Valleys. I think that the, the shit talking behind the scenes that's going on and in front of the scenes that's gone on this week where we've had like Dabo Swinney turning into vintage Steve Spurrier. Talking shit about Lane Kiffin directly during press conferences. Um, what was his quote? He said, they need to, uh, no pun intended, stay in their lane.

• 27:22Speaker 00

  Yeah. Which means. That's some good shit talk.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  If you pre, no pun intended, then it is intended.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  So, yeah, Dabo's been going after him. LSU's been like tied up in court this week. Uh, so, yeah, that's a, I mean, it's been a crazy, crazy couple of days trying to figure out who's going to be able to play even this weekend, but.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  I'm excited for Louisville, uh, Ole Miss. I think everyone should tune into Louisville, Ole Miss on Sunday night. That's the game we should all watch.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, it's the only ranked matchup.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  All weekend.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  Football, it's at a NFL stadium too, right?

• 27:54Speaker 00

  Yep. So that's, that's awesome. If you want to watch, uh, two teams, college football teams playing in an NFL stadium on Sunday night, it's Louisville, Ole Miss.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  Top 10 team.

• 28:03Speaker 00

  That's the one. I, would you disagree?

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Playoff team?

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. That's the one. And the Apple Cup.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  And one projected playoff team. Per one of our college football experts.

• 28:16Speaker 00

  Yes. Yes. That's the, that's the one. I'm just so excited. I've been watching. It's not a great week one. We talked about it on Wednesday, but I don't care. It's just gonna have, there's gonna be football on our TV all day Saturday. It's gonna be awesome. Memes, you gotta be, you're ready to go. You're not, are you going outside on Saturday?

• 28:35Speaker 05

  No, I'm, well, as soon as I leave here till Monday, I'll, I'll be on my couch.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  You're inside?

• 28:41Speaker 05

  I'm just inside.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  It'll be pretty good.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  I just got a new 70 inch TV.

• 28:44Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  Barely fits on my TV stand, but.

• 28:46Speaker 00

  Hell, yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  I am fired up.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  And if you're not watching football, you're gonna be playing college football video games.

• 28:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, that'll be on another TV.

• 28:54Speaker 00

  Got it. Will you be doing both at the same time?

• 28:56Speaker 05

  Probably.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  What a, what a memes is really living the like best life. He really is.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  You are like the idea that you can just be like, all right, see you guys, see you, see you Monday. Not gonna leave my house, gonna watch all the football.

• 29:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, it's, it's the best. I've, I've thought about it. I wouldn't trade lives with anyone.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  Anyone?

• 29:17Speaker 05

  No, it's so good. I just make memes.

• 29:20Speaker 00

  What about Scooter Braun?

• 29:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, they, they, all right, them.

• 29:25Speaker 02

  You're a world champion too.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  A world champion.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  You're a world champion.

• 29:29Speaker 05

  And softball champion.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  And then New York Times bestselling author.

• 29:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, got a lot going for me.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 06

  Summer memes.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Summer memes. All right. Any other stories before we do our Mount Rushmore duel? Um, Dejounte Love, the only follow-up I had was now I understand why he was wearing the cap the whole time.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. It looks like Mars attacks.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  He's got a big forehead.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, there was, there's some other stuff coming out. The brands are now on to the case and I, I think these are all real things. I don't think that they're viral advertisements, but Cameo said that Dejounte Love hit them up to see if maybe they'd want him.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  I think that one might have been fake, but it would be funny if he did hit him.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  And then I saw that there was a DM between him and Dave, David Busters, asking if he could have an entire David Busters location because he as an NFL player was coming in with, with a couple of his friends.

• 30:19Speaker 00

  Love that.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  With the understanding that that's what NFL players do. It's like, hey, I play football professionally, so I'm gonna need your entire restaurant.

• 30:26Speaker 00

  Who's close at all? Oh, we just pulled up CJ Stroud will not be signing an extension with the Texans before the season begins. Houston offered Stroud a contract exceeding 50 million annually, but he's betting on himself to hopefully reach near 60 million. I feel like, yeah, that's not enough of a difference to bet on yourself.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  That's quite a bet that he's making.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  That's a, like 50 and 60.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  Would you bet? If I gave you $50 million, big cat, would you be willing to put it on the line and say, I'm gonna bet that CJ Stroud gets a bigger contract than he's already been offered at the end of the season?

• 31:01Speaker 00

  No.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  I don't think I'd be willing to make that bet.

• 31:03Speaker 00

  That bet. I would not make that bet.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Good for him for getting offered that much money. That's cool.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. Did you?

• 31:10Speaker 02

  Summer CJ Stroud.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  Uh, the Florio had a report. This is why I love Florio. This is why he's the best. A report that Kyler Murray has uh, been arriving at Vikings facility on time every day.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 00

  But then he further went on to explain that he's been arriving exactly on time, not a moment sooner. And he's been the first one to leave.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  So he's been just clocking in, clocking out.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Not even 15 minutes.

• 31:37Speaker 00

  That's progress.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  If I'm, yeah. Kyler Murray, I guess they'd like him to stay, like be the first in and last out.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  But I mean, I feel like every team has three different guys that are first in and last out.

• 31:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  At the same time.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Kyler knows exactly who he is.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  The 2000, what 12 Patriots where they had Tom Brady, Amendola, Welker and Julian Edelman? And Danny Woodhead?

• 31:59Speaker 00

  No one left.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Like they probably carpool because they could all be first in and last out together.

• 32:03Speaker 06

  Speaking of that, did you see the, the King State Kings for Ernie Adams?

• 32:07Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  So that was from Ryan Paganetti, who's awesome. His Twitter account. Everyone should go follow it. Um, we gotta have him on. But yeah, he, he did a deep dive. Why don't you explain it Hank? Cause it is, it is quite something.

• 32:20Speaker 06

  It's like from 2002 to 2019, the Patriots, uh, when opposing teams were kicking a field goal, like looking at the video board, they would put up a feed of the game mirrored basically, so reversed. So if the flags, if you're the kicker and you're looking at the flags on the top of the field goal post, they were going right. Directly behind that was a video of the same flags going left.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  And also the same, so you'd see four uprights.

• 32:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Now, this is actually exactly what I tried to tell Brandon that Oklahoma's, was it? Or Nebraska? No, Illinois, what they should do.

• 32:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  And then Brandon interrupted me very rudely and said, why the hell are we talking about Jumbotron?

• 33:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  The only, the only jumbo I care about, jumbo shrimp, deep fried, very welcome. Like I, like this great idea. Maybe, maybe he could have heard it first and part of my take if Brandon shut his fat mouth.

• 33:13Speaker 00

  And it's not, so this was not illegal. This was just doing everything they can. Like I think, I think someone crunched the stats and it was like a 5% uh, change in, in kicking accuracy, which

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 00

  Guess what? If you get a 5% change, that could swing a game.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Good boost.

• 33:29Speaker 00

  It's pretty crazy.

• 33:30Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  Would you feel pride when you saw that?

• 33:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 06

  What you love to see. Those are the good old days.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  That's Belichick at his absolute best.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  I'm sure they'll be back, Hank.

• 33:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 00

  Aren't you in the good old days?

• 33:43Speaker 06

  The Belichick, Ernie Adams were.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  But now it's new.

• 33:46Speaker 06

  Good new days. We're in the good new days.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  Good new days.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  Yes. Um, all right. Let's get to the Mount Rushmore duel. Should we do it?

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  All right, let's do it. Okay, it is time for our Mount Rushmore duel. It's brought to you by Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. We love Reese's. They got the Reese's peanut butter cups, the ones with the Oreos, incredible peanut butter and jelly, marshmallow. Uh, Reese's sticks, Reese's animal crackers, just everything, anything you're looking for. Reese's is the one, one pick in all Mount Rushmore uh, drafts. It is the goat candy. We love Reese's. Something for everyone. It is the New York Knicks of candies. That's what Reese's does. Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  Uh, we love Reese's and so we, we should have just done, should have just done a Reese's draft because you could, you could literally do it and it would be, it would be the easiest draft ever. You could pick everything. They have, they have every type of candy. All right. Zach's talking a lot in there. I think he's nervous. We are ready for the duel. It is Mount Rushmore duel time. It is Zach versus Hank, Hank versus Zach. Loser gets skunked by a real skunk.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  Is one of the punishments we had discussed.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  We've discussed a lot.

• 35:12Speaker 00

  We have discussed that.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was that. We discussed uh, becoming Dejounte Love.

• 35:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  For a different team. Maybe making a hip hop country album.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's a lot on the table, but we're gonna do, so how the duel is gonna work, they do not know what the Mount Rushmore topics are. It's all off the top of the head. How much time are we gonna give you guys? How much time do you think you need? 30, 60 seconds?

• 35:37Speaker 06

  I would like memes as Mike on.

• 35:39Speaker 00

  Okay, memes, Mike on. Okay, why?

• 35:41Speaker 06

  Just in case.

• 35:42Speaker 02

  Oh, you think there might be some shenanigans?

• 35:44Speaker 06

  You never know.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  Oh, that's totally fair. I actually agree with that a hundred percent. 60 seconds each? Is that not enough?

• 35:52Speaker 05

  90 seconds?

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think 90 seconds to two minutes might be good.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  All right. Well, we tried to pick, pick topics that uh, you can think about stuff off the top of your head. Um, and so there's gonna be three polls. We'll put them out. What consecutive every half hour or something? And then it's just best of three. I think that's what we did last year, right memes?

• 36:13Speaker 06

  We're doing some of the show in the morning. By the time we record the rest of the show in the afternoon, it should be done.

• 36:18Speaker 00

  What?

• 36:19Speaker 06

  The polls should be out. Do we do the poll? We do the polls in real time?

• 36:22Speaker 05

  We did the polls in real time last night.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 36:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  Is that what we're doing?

• 36:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's what we did.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  I kinda like that. Yeah.

• 36:27Speaker 00

  Okay. So we'll find out. So when you get to Fyre Fest, you'll find out.

• 36:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  I didn't, I don't remember us doing that.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was like instant.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Okay. Instant, instant polls.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  So I'll just do it one every half hour.

• 36:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then we'll find out. Okay. Okay. All right. You guys ready for your first Mount Rushmore?

• 36:46Speaker 06

  Yes, sir.

• 36:46Speaker 00

  All right. Who's, who's going first?

• 36:48Speaker 06

  Uh, I think Zach.

• 36:49Speaker 00

  Zach is going first?

• 36:50Speaker 06

  I went first.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  Okay. We would like to hear, you have 90 seconds. We would like to hear the Mount Rushmore of guys' names.

• 37:01Speaker 05

  My mic is on.

• 37:02Speaker 00

  Mic is on. 90 seconds to discuss between us guys. Guys' names. Mount Rushmore.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  It's gonna be really hard not to just verbalize my names that I, that I'm thinking about right now.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  But we wanted to start, we wanted to ease them into something that like these guys know guys.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Right?

• 37:17Speaker 02

  They've met a lot of guys. If there's one thing they know, it's dudes' names.

• 37:20Speaker 00

  It's also very subjective, uh, open-ended Mount Rushmore that could be very funny because it's like, who's to say?

• 37:27Speaker 02

  A lot of names out there. A lot of names to go through. Just think of any names.

• 37:32Speaker 00

  Hank is, Hank is doodle. He's got a heart next to a couple of them.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  How many names have, oh, he's, he's writing Hank and then other guys' last names on his paper. Okay. Signature.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  Zach, how is Zach doing? By the way, what are we gonna do for our?

• 37:47Speaker 02

  A smart move by Hank taking the headphones off.

• 37:49Speaker 00

  Headphones off.

• 37:50Speaker 05

  The mic is still on.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we're monitoring.

• 37:53Speaker 00

  All right, uh, memes, PFT and I, but we should discuss real quick while we let the timer go down. Uh, what, what is the second one we want to do? Is it the one that we were thinking of?

• 38:03Speaker 02

  I think it's W L T W O.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then the third, should it be the one we were talking about or should it be the one that I just?

• 38:13Speaker 02

  I think it's the one that we were talking about. That one I want to hear.

• 38:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Perfect.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  I want to hear where they go with it.

• 38:20Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  Agreed.

• 38:22Speaker 00

  Couple more seconds.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  We should use, we should use Zach's alarm clock as the timer.

• 38:28Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:31Speaker 00

  You got 10 seconds. 10 seconds. 10 seconds.

• 38:38Speaker 05

  Zach has just started writing.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  Oh, no. And time. I mean, I guess there's, you could, you could keep writing. It's just, you have to make a pick when your pick's up.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  Okay. Mount Rushmore of guys' names. Zach, you're up first.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  We talking first and last?

• 38:58Speaker 00

  No.

• 39:01Speaker 00

  What?

• 39:02Speaker 02

  This guy's name.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  This guy's name.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  All right. I got you. Yeah. First pick for me is gonna be Devante.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  All right. Good pick.

• 39:13Speaker 00

  Okay, okay. Tank?

• 39:17Speaker 06

  I'm gonna go with Guy.

• 39:19Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 39:22Speaker 06

  And

• 39:27Speaker 06

  Jalen.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Good pick. All right.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  These are good picks.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go with Muhammad.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah. Probably the most popular name, I think.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  What's the? So many guys named Muhammad. Per capita, it's maybe the number one.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  So you're going with more guys named that way? Not just? Okay.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  You're going for the amount of people?

• 39:53Speaker 03

  On that specific pick, I like the volume pick.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  I think Hank was doing that maybe with Jalen, too.

• 39:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, Jalen's not a bad pick. All right, you have another one?

• 40:03Speaker 00

  Zach?

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Oh, next pick, I'm gonna go with Drew.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  I love this.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  It's so silly. Drew's a good pick, I guess.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Drew, not Andrew, just Drew.

• 40:17Speaker 00

  Just Drew.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, just Drew.

• 40:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Was your?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Andrew if he's in trouble by his mom or something, you know, Drew.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  Drew.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. What was your thought process behind Drew?

• 40:26Speaker 03

  Cool name.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, all right.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  Valid.

• 40:28Speaker 00

  Good pick. Good.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  This is tickling me a lot. Okay, Hank? Hank also like looks so deathly serious. It's like you just gotta say a guy's name.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  He's worried, yeah.

• 40:39Speaker 06

  I just don't know how to, yeah, I'm.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  So you have so far Jalen and?

• 40:43Speaker 06

  Guy.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  Guy.

• 40:45Speaker 06

  Uh, we're gonna go William.

• 40:47Speaker 00

  Okay. Ju- William, you want it written as William?

• 40:52Speaker 06

  Will.

• 40:53Speaker 00

  You want Will?

• 40:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 00

  Okay. I like that. I actually like that change a lot. I think that was a very smart change with the graphic.

• 41:01Speaker 06

  And Tiger.

• 41:01Speaker 00

  Go Bill.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Oh, Tiger.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  Oh, Tiger.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Okay. Not kind of a nickname.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  But yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Good pick.

• 41:12Speaker 06

  It's too late.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Hands off the piece.

• 41:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  I like Will. Will's great value in the third round.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  Will's great, yeah.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Actually, usually Will's that I know are undrafted.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go with Richard.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Richard. Strong.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  All right, what else do you guys have on that list? I thought we were gonna maybe get some more traditional, like a, uh?

• 41:31Speaker 06

  Eric, Zach, Max, Caleb, Drake. I wanted to do Drake, but that's why I didn't wanna give myself away, but I think Tiger probably did anyway. Dan, Dave, John, Jack, Mark.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  Jack is, Jack is a big miss in my mind. Jack is a strong guy's name.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  I didn't realize that Jack is a nickname for John.

• 41:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  Initially, yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 06

  Lil Wayne, Ross, Scotty, Tiger, Marcus.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  Marcus? Okay.

• 41:56Speaker 05

  Heard names of everyone in this room, except Shane and Connor.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  Hmm. Can we get clarification on a couple of spellings? Yeah, sure. How do you? Will is W I L L.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  How do you want Devante spelled? There's a few different ways you can go about it.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  We'll go the one you got right there.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  Okay, and how would you like Jalen, Hank?

• 42:12Speaker 06

  J A L E N.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  That's smart. That was smart. Yeah, I thought there would be more like, uh, I think like, like,

• 42:22Speaker 00

  Frank?

• 42:24Speaker 06

  Frank's a good one.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  Tom.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Zach, Meme said that you you waited until like the last five seconds to start writing down names. What was the thought process there?

• 42:31Speaker 03

  There was a confliction in my head. If it was just first name, were we doing first and last? Like for my first one, one, I did have Tom Cruise, but

• 42:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Tom, Tom Cruise is a guy, not a name.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 42:40Speaker 00

  Tom is a good one, um.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is a solid name.

• 42:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  I agree with that.

• 42:45Speaker 05

  Tofur.

• 42:45Speaker 00

  Joe, Joseph? Joseph's a good one.

• 42:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm sure it's one biblical.

• 42:51Speaker 00

  Biblical names always are just strong.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Elijah? Maybe not.

• 42:54Speaker 00

  No, that that would have, I don't know if Elijah would have played. Drew is, uh, very funny. I don't know why.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Drew.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Ezekiel?

• 43:03Speaker 02

  I don't know if that would play. Hey, who knows? Jesus.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  Jesus would have been a banger.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 06

  Jesus.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  Tim?

• 43:11Speaker 05

  Big miss. My mic's on, by the way, and Zach is talking out loud.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 43:15Speaker 06

  That's good.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  You're talking to the mic.

• 43:17Speaker 00

  All right, you guys feel good about that?

• 43:20Speaker 00

  Cause we're about to go to the second.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  I don't think either one of them feels good.

• 43:23Speaker 06

  No.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  If I'm reading their body language, both are terrified.

• 43:25Speaker 00

  No. All right, PFT, you wanna say what the second Mount Rushmore is?

• 43:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. The second Mount Rushmore is going to be the worst lines to wait in.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  The worst lines to wait in?

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Lines to wait in.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  I am going to set the timer.

• 43:42Speaker 00

  Gonna give you guys a minute and a half. Worst lines to wait in. Okay, boys, the timer is up. Are we ready?

• 43:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:52Speaker 00

  This is the Mount Rushmore of worst lines to wait in.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  There's a lot of them.

• 43:56Speaker 00

  Lot of them.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  Can't think of many good ones.

• 43:59Speaker 00

  No.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  And so Hank, you go first, right?

• 44:02Speaker 06

  Yep. DMV.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  Great pick. That's gotta be one one.

• 44:07Speaker 06

  Gotta be.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  Gotta be.

• 44:09Speaker 06

  Cause it goes out of order, too.

• 44:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's bullshit.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  It is. It sucks.

• 44:14Speaker 05

  Great pick.

• 44:15Speaker 00

  Zach?

• 44:16Speaker 03

  We go with the restroom.

• 44:18Speaker 00

  Restroom, okay.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  That's kind of chalk one, too, right?

• 44:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's really good. I mean, when you have to piss and you have to wait in line, that is the most infuriating feeling in the world.

• 44:25Speaker 05

  Another great pick.

• 44:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  I'm next, I'm gonna go with Chipotle line.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:30Speaker 00

  Okay, and why?

• 44:32Speaker 03

  Cause I've just been 30 deep in the Chipotle line every time.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  And it just, you wanna eat and you can't eat and it's right in front of you and you can't get there. You wanna get to the register as quickly as possible and you're just doing small talk with people you don't know.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  See all the food right in front of you, yeah.

• 44:44Speaker 00

  And there's the, it's the worst when like someone three ahead of you, uh, is ordering for like five people.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, they got a birthday party or like a after school.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do a burrito, then I'm gonna do a burrito bowl, I'm gonna do tacos.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  Meme, what was that face I saw?

• 44:58Speaker 05

  At first I was like, they're normally pretty quick and then what Big Cat just said.

• 45:03Speaker 00

  Will drive you insane.

• 45:03Speaker 05

  They just keep putting tortillas in the machine.

• 45:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. That will drive you nuts.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  You guys ever get caught like awkwardly right at the door, too? So you're the guy like you're in line, but you're in the way of the front door and you're just, oh.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  You kind of have to maybe hold the door open, but maybe not, yeah.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  That's brutal. All right, Hank?

• 45:18Speaker 06

  I'm gonna go, uh, airport security.

• 45:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, I thought I was gonna go second. Chipotle, though.

• 45:24Speaker 06

  And and bar.

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  Line to get in or line to get to the bar?

• 45:29Speaker 06

  Line to get in.

• 45:30Speaker 00

  Strong three. I'm gonna say right now Zach needs a hail mary here because that was Hank.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Nice draft.

• 45:37Speaker 00

  You're crushing this one.

• 45:37Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Good pick, Hank.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  But, but, but Chipotle.

• 45:42Speaker 06

  Chipotle.

• 45:42Speaker 00

  That's a little annoying.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go amusement park.

• 45:45Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Good pick. Good pick.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, go fast pass.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  And then I'm gonna go

• 45:52Speaker 03

  gas station during a hurricane.

• 45:54Speaker 06

  Yep. Though nothing worse.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  All right, should we go to the next Mount Rushmore? You wanna do your last pick? You don't even have to.

• 46:01Speaker 06

  Uh, sure, we'll go, uh, concession stand.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  Okay, that's good.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  I mean, Zach, tell me about your experience, uh, waiting in line to get gas during a hurricane.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  It just, it just 50 cars backed up and you're thinking, are they gonna run out of gas? Do they got gas? You know, they're jacking up the prices. You're sitting in the car, impending doom storm, maybe death coming, but you're like, we gotta get gas for the house, gas for the car. Yeah, natural disaster is terrifying, so you're scared in line. You don't know if you're gonna make it home. Then you're home.

• 46:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, good.

• 46:32Speaker 00

  Okay, um, good. Feel like maybe, uh,

• 46:37Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 46:38Speaker 00

  Movie concession stand? I guess you did concession stand. Was that everything?

• 46:41Speaker 06

  I was thinking like a sports, sports, but.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  I was, I was thinking about line to get a drink at the bar. That's a bad line, too.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. Although that one you feel like you.

• 46:50Speaker 06

  Go sideways and you're kind of like.

• 46:52Speaker 00

  You feel like you have more control over that.

• 46:53Speaker 06

  You can, you can, yeah, you can, you can, you can cut, but just by having good eye contact and good like motion awareness.

• 47:00Speaker 00

  Line to get into the plane. That one kind of sucks, too. Like border.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Bad line.

• 47:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, but it's like you're, everyone's, you're taking off at the same time.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:10Speaker 00

  Okay, good, uh, Mount Rushmore, Hank.

• 47:13Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 47:14Speaker 00

  Zach, Chipotle? Do we need, we need some people stuck in a Chipotle line, too? I guess the polls will go out during lunch, so you need everyone who's literally looking at it while in a Chipotle line.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  There's ups and downs of a duel, you know?

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  I would even say like the line to vote in general sucks.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 05

  Customer service lines.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:33Speaker 05

  Hundred, then just never goes down.

• 47:36Speaker 06

  Autograph line, you feel like a loser.

• 47:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. Uh, uh, autograph or picture line at a porn convention's gotta suck.

• 47:46Speaker 06

  Hospital.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. That one sucks.

• 47:49Speaker 05

  Last guy in like a Lily Phillips gangbang.

• 47:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  But I, you're probably making small talk with the guys around you at that point.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's tough, though.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  You're like, hey, horny, too? Same. Have a lot in common.

• 48:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right. Last one.

• 48:08Speaker 06

  I think it's one one.

• 48:09Speaker 00

  How do you think it's going? I, yeah.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  It can go anyway. Hank's.

• 48:12Speaker 06

  Tiger was a bad pick. Tiger was a bad pick.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Okay, here is the last one. The last one is the Mount Rushmore.

• 48:20Speaker 06

  Tiger's not even a name.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  Of dumb things you think.

• 48:27Speaker 00

  You guys got it?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  The problem is Hank's, Hank's still thinking about Tiger.

• 48:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, Tiger's not even a name, is what he said.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  The Tiger's inside his head right now.

• 48:35Speaker 00

  Zach got Muhammad in the second round.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  I think all time number one name.

• 48:41Speaker 00

  Okay, they're thinking about it. Dumb things you think.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  But Zach got Chipotle, so.

• 48:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, Chipotle is so fucking.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Gas station during, I imagine gas station during a hurricane would actually suck.

• 48:50Speaker 05

  It sucks.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  You've done it?

• 48:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, Hurricane Sandy.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  Dang.

• 48:55Speaker 05

  Tough.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Might be a little limiting.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  Oh, this whole time I was thinking like actual, like in the convenience store portion of the gas station. I wasn't realizing.

• 49:04Speaker 05

  No, no, lines down the road. It really is brutal.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. But that one, that, that's, that's a

• 49:13Speaker 00

  you gotta live in a certain part of the country to, to

• 49:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's niche.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  Very niche. But important for Florida. Florida comes out for, if, if, if you get out to vote in Florida, Zach, you could be in, could be cooking.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Yep. Is the number one state for determining elections.

• 49:29Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  I can't wait to hear what they say about this.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Zach is four strong right now.

• 49:42Speaker 00

  He's four strong. All right.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  Can't see Hank's list, but he is writing.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  You got this, boys.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Can you give him an extra 30 seconds?

• 49:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, give him an extra 30 seconds. I have, I haven't even set a timer, so.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  We're good.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Zach's brain is humming, though.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  Oh, confirmed humming?

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Humming. I see it.

• 50:07Speaker 00

  Confirmed humming.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  He's thinking hard. Is he writing, though?

• 50:11Speaker 00

  I mean, this should be a layup for Zach.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  He can't wait to write.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  He's got dumb thoughts all the time, right?

• 50:18Speaker 00

  Although I can't get over the, the, the sock of the baseball bat is.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Genius. Smart move.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  So fucking smart, Zach.

• 50:28Speaker 00

  Really so smart.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Zach kinda does have a cheat code in this, but.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Well, no, no, Hank has some dumb thoughts, too.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't get it twisted, though.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  That's why we thought this was the perfect one.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Remember Hank sometimes just thinks about Joe Rogan interviewing him about how his day went?

• 50:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. There's, there's dumb thoughts going around in this room right now.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  All right, that was timed. Do you guys need a little more time? You got it? You feel good?

• 50:54Speaker 03

  You first, Hank, or me first?

• 50:55Speaker 06

  Uh, me first.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 50:57Speaker 00

  All right. Okay, Hank, you're up. This is the Mount Rushmore. No, no, it's Zach first.

• 51:06Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  You literally just went first.

• 51:09Speaker 06

  Yep, you're right.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Uh, first thought popped in my head, I'm gonna go with, are those real?

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Good pick.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  Good pick.

• 51:17Speaker 06

  Good pick.

• 51:17Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 51:18Speaker 02

  I'm not, I'm not any good at telling.

• 51:20Speaker 00

  I'm so.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Really bad.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  So bad.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  I think, yeah.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  I, the dumb thought I have is, I just, I just assumed they're all real.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, because they're just all boobs and I'm.

• 51:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  I would never think anything nefarious.

• 51:35Speaker 00

  That's where I feel dumb.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Sneaky about boobs.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Like, oh, yeah, those are boobs. Those are real.

• 51:40Speaker 06

  Uh, I will go with, I'm going to win all my bets.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, really dumb thought.

• 51:46Speaker 06

  And

• 51:51Speaker 06

  I'm going to get in shape.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  When I think that, it's not dumb, but yeah.

• 52:02Speaker 00

  Good pick. No, that's a really dumb thought that I think all the time.

• 52:05Speaker 06

  Mm hmm.

• 52:05Speaker 00

  Like every, I'm, I'm actually.

• 52:06Speaker 06

  Those are daily thoughts I have.

• 52:07Speaker 00

  I'm actually about to bet every game this weekend, thinking I'm gonna win them all. And then Monday, I've already decided is when I'm gonna start my journey to get in shape. I'm not joking. Those, those two things.

• 52:20Speaker 06

  Someone made a compilation of us talking about this on the show.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  What? Guys getting in shape? I would like to see that.

• 52:27Speaker 06

  It's like, meanwhile.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  It's different. This is different this time.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go with, could I jump over this?

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, yes.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  And then I'm gonna go with.

• 52:46Speaker 00

  I like, could I jump over this?

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Did I lock my door?

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Okay, all right. Um. What do you think about? What do you think? Like, could I jump over this? Give me an example.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Uh, walking into like the store, you know, the things that block the cars from people coming in tragedies. You're just like, should I hop this? Or like a couple cases of water on the floor? Should I hop this?

• 53:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 03

  You know?

• 53:04Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  Cause anytime you get in the air, it's dangerous. All right, I'd say Hank's got a pretty strong lead here.

• 53:11Speaker 00

  I mean, you literally said two that we think.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  You might say tiger.

• 53:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:15Speaker 06

  I'm gonna go.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  Is tiger a name?

• 53:18Speaker 06

  With

• 53:21Speaker 06

  how our language is invented?

• 53:24Speaker 02

  That's a good pick.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  Great pick.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  I can't pick a lot.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  It makes no fucking sense.

• 53:30Speaker 06

  And just translations, people that can speak multiple languages, sign language, none of it, it, it hurts my brain to think about. Uh,

• 53:39Speaker 06

  and then this one.

• 53:43Speaker 06

  Did I already shampoo?

• 53:46Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  All right.

• 53:48Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Like in the shower?

• 53:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. Okay.

• 53:51Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 53:52Speaker 06

  It's a dumb thought. And when it happens, when you have to think about it, it's like, fuck.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it is dumb thought.

• 53:57Speaker 06

  I'm really dumb.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:59Speaker 06

  But I think I did.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  Okay. Good pick.

• 54:01Speaker 06

  But just in case.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go with, do we see the same colors?

• 54:06Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  And then I'm gonna go with.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  Um, do you have another pick?

• 54:12Speaker 06

  No.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  No, that was it.

• 54:14Speaker 00

  Oh, man. What an end to Mount Rushmore season. What would it have been?

• 54:21Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't have another pick. Yep, nevermind.

• 54:23Speaker 00

  No, but what would it have been?

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Oh, I didn't have one.

• 54:25Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 54:26Speaker 02

  I was about to say something.

• 54:26Speaker 00

  You had one.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  That's the thing. I thought I had to pick another pick. I didn't have another pick. I was really just trying to find another pick right there.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  You have six written down?

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're not good picks, so.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  No, you have another pick. Tell us the other one.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Well, this list was, I.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  You picked four.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  I wrote down dumb things you think, and then I just thought of things you think. So my list is not the best dumb things you think.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  But tell me.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  Uh, what did I forget is on here? Or what did I just forget is on here? Uh, did I just step on a crack is on here?

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  And then, uh, how did they meet each other is on here?

• 54:57Speaker 00

  Huh.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  And then

• 55:01Speaker 03

  yeah, yeah. Now, you know, look, it's a duel.

• 55:04Speaker 06

  Only other one I had was how do planes fly?

• 55:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. How do boats?

• 55:08Speaker 02

  We'll talk later.

• 55:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, aircraft carriers, I think about that for too long. What the fuck?

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Water displacement, yeah.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  Good duel. I feel, you guys feel good about the duel?

• 55:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think it'll come down to the end.

• 55:23Speaker 00

  I think, I think you might have gotten him, Hank.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  You think you got him?

• 55:25Speaker 06

  I thought I've had him the last two, so.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  You definitely won one.

• 55:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  You won the second one.

• 55:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, Chipotle.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  I don't know, Chipotle. A lot of people go to Chipotle.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  I think that's Hank's. Uh, the first one I think is gonna be close.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Very close.

• 55:37Speaker 00

  Depends on how the Muhammad vote comes out.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 55:41Speaker 00

  I think that is a swing vote.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  The great mistake here is going pen and paper. I should have went notes app. Anytime I'm going pen and paper, I get distracted with the pen.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  And you were the one who brought the pen and paper out.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  What do you mean distracted with the pen?

• 55:53Speaker 03

  You start doodling, you know, and then now you're not writing down answers. You start, yeah, tough. I knew I shouldn't have used the pen.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  That sucks.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  Good duel, me. Good duel, Hank.

• 56:01Speaker 06

  Good duel, Zach.

• 56:02Speaker 00

  Good duel.

• 56:02Speaker 03

  Way to be.

• 56:03Speaker 06

  It's a pleasure.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  All right. All right, good job, boys. We'll see how it goes. We'll actually have the results for when we do Fire Fest. So, uh, let's get to our interview with Stavi.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  We'll get to Stavi the second. He's brought to you by Tick Pick, the no nonsense ticket app. Check the calendars. It's Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays. Football's taking over and Tick Pick is going to hook you guys up this fall. The couch doesn't deserve you for all 18 weeks. Get out, go see a game, check out the tick, the ticket prices on Tick Pick. There's no service fees ever. That means that you're gonna save money on tickets for the same seat that you're finding on other ticketing sites. And all those savings, they will add up. And, uh, with Tick Pick, they've got the best prices and it's super easy to use. They're hooking us up. Hank is going to Kanye. Um, they're getting us to see maybe some one and eight football games this year. And people forget that Wisconsin surprisingly has the 12th most expensive average ticket price for the season.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  There's a Wisconsin Notre Dame game. That's at Lambeau Field this Saturday. And you should buy tickets on the Tick Pick app for the best prices. Look at Tick Pick right here. I've got the Wisconsin schedule pulled up right now. And the get in prices for upcoming Wisconsin football games are crazy affordable. I'm looking at one right here that is, uh, $17 to get into a Wisconsin football game. This season on Tick Pick, they've got the best prices for the best experiences and the best games. Check it out. And we're going to give you a special deal. New Tick Pick customers, take 20 bucks off your first order. Use promo code PMT20 right there in the Tick Pick app. Orders must be 200 or more to apply. That's PMT20 at checkout, 20 bucks off that first order.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  Don't overpr- overpay for the same ticket that you will find on other ticket marketplaces. Get it with Tick Pick today. And Stavi's also brought to you by Twisted Tea. Young Henry and I had a couple ice cold Twisted Teas out on the course yesterday when all hope was lost. At least we could still crack open a Twisted Tea and enjoy some refreshment. It's the dog days of summer. Twisted Tea is our go-to for cooling down when it's heating up. When it's hot, I'm reaching for some ice cold. I'm talking Twisted Tea, the perfect drink for lake days, beach days, backyard grilling, all the good stuff that summer has to offer. It's never too early to stock up for tailgate season. Count down the days until electric game days and coolers stocked to the brim with ice cold Twisted Tea.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  It's a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea, 5% alcohol. It's full of flavor, very refreshing, goes down smooth. No carbonation. It makes it easy to drink all day long. If it's hitting the course for a round, pre-gaming a ballgame or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling, Twisted Tea is always there that will keep the good times rolling. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. And now, here's Stavi.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is our good friend, Stavros Stavi. He's in studio. What's up, boys? It's great to see you. You got a new special coming out on Tuesday on Netflix. Very excited for it. By the way, congrats on being on the cover of a New York Times bestseller. It means a lot. This is our way of just, we, we actually did a accidental genius thing where we put all of our friends on the cover. So then when they come on, we say, hey, congrats on being on a New York Times bestseller. They're like, oh, congrats on your, oh, shit, I didn't even want to mention it. Yeah. I just wanted to let you know you're on it. You did it. It's you. I'm grudgingly you. I mean, this is, this, I am.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  I'm flattered to make the cut, but you guys having a New York Times bestseller is a mark of the decline of society.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  It is the dumbest thing ever.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  You two are barely literate, let alone everybody who works here. It's fucking insane.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  We've said it multiple times, but there's a, there's a open parentheses on page eight that never gets closed. That happened in a real book.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  This is so fucking stupid. On the cover. What even is this? You guys just remembering podcasts? Yeah, yeah. It's like, hey. It's a book of, oh, that one time.

• 59:57Speaker 00

  Dude, half the book is other people wrote it for us.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, we actually, we had our guests that were our most popular guests write a chapter. So then they could say, hey, hey, we're in this book. If you don't want to read these two. And then on the cover, the amount of people that have confused you and Ryan Rusillo has been stacked. Interesting. We are, we have a similar look. Yeah. Rusillo would have my hair if he wasn't a coward.

• 1:00:19Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  If he wasn't a fucking shaving coward.

• 1:00:22Speaker 00

  That's true. But yeah, no, there's a lot of, uh, we, we had a bunch of people write other, other chapters, a lot of pictures, you know, exactly what you'd expect.

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Patted out. It's like you, like this is the, this is the kind of work that's like to get a C minus in a community college history paper.

• 1:00:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  But because our world sucks dick, it's a New York Times bestseller.

• 1:00:42Speaker 00

  That's why I like, I was actually like.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  I'd love to read a random pass. Let's flip. Can I see the book and flip to a random pass?

• 1:00:49Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You pick one out. This, I, I'm not joking. I was like mentally like struggling when they were like, your New York Times bestseller. I'm like, I shouldn't be. This is bullshit. This is stupid.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  An ode to Jerry O'Connell. I mean, what the fuck are we doing here, guys? I like Jerry too, but.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  Who wrote that? Jerry O'Connell?

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  By Charlie Barchet.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  Oh, that was, uh, we had, we had our own fans write chapters. What?

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  What the fuck is this? So you guys just cut out the middleman. No, you guys cut out the middleman and put comments in the book. You put YouTube comments in the video. We gave away a chapter of the book. So, uh, so Charles, Charles Barchet, we forgot. Congratulations to Charlie Barchet on, on being a New York Times bestseller.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  What a scam.

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  What a racket.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Fucking racket.

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  Can you believe we got away with this shit?

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  This is so funny. Oh, all of this is ultimately to funnel money from like Deloitte to gambling websites. That's your, that's your entire business model.

• 1:01:46Speaker 00

  Yep. Oh, man. It's so fucking funny. I, I, the fact that you opened up to a literal fans chapter.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  Such pieces of shit. That is so fucking funny. Some fucking guy who listens. No disrespect, Charlie. I'm sure you're a beautiful guy. Well, the irony is that's probably the most well-written chapter.

• 1:02:05Speaker 00

  Oh, absolutely. Oh, absolutely.

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  He's far smarter than us.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  He probably used spell check. That's so fucking funny, dude. That's so fucking. He was like a little nervous. Like I, I don't want to send them, you know, an absolute piece of garbage essay. So I'm going to have to like run this by a proofreader.

• 1:02:21Speaker 00

  He probably had his mom looking over or something. Something we didn't even do.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  Respect. That's awesome. Well, congratulations.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right. So, so, uh.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  I am happy that while literally, the same way with me, like I, this is my second Netflix special.

• 1:02:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Society, and society is down, but we're up.

• 1:02:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, right.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  Everyone who weirdly started a podcast in 2016. Guys like us. We have the 2016 podcast brotherhood where it appears God chose us as his people.

• 1:02:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  And we keep winning that we don't deserve.

• 1:02:49Speaker 00

  The, the history books are going to write, be like, what happened to the decline of like, you know, the Roman Empire, the American empire. It's like, well, they had like. Guys like Stavi and Big Cat and PFT is cultural leaders.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  What happened was, uh. The dumbest people of all time. 2016, this gorilla got shot. And then, yeah. It all started from the big bang.

• 1:03:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, people started listening to these fucking guys. And then everything fell apart.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  Absolutely. At least watch the special, folks. Even though we don't deserve to be, if you bought the fucking book, the special, come on, watch the special. High art compared to the book. Yeah, yeah. I did work harder. I definitely worked hard on the special than you worked on the book, for sure.

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  Oh, absolutely. Where, where did, well, we did, we, the book, we, we crammed. I assume you didn't cram the special in two weeks.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  Two weeks before.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  I gotta write a joke.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  Like by percentages, we did work really, really hard on the book for about, yeah, 14 days, non-stop. It was like all day, every day doing that. Um, but yeah. I mean, you've been on fire. I was just telling you before, I loved, I loved you in Bugonia. Tires is great.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  Dude, tire season three.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Speaker 00

  Those, everyone go, I, this isn't going to be Shane Gillis suck up, which we do love Shane, but like.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  He can suck Shane. He's the man.

• 1:03:57Speaker 00

  No, I mean, I, Shane is the man.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Like, those guys are so fucking funny and fun to work with. And like, yeah, that's the beauty of it, dude. Shane. Tire season one was a web series that Netflix bought for some reason. And by the season three, this was the one where I was like, oh, fuck, we're doing a real show.

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  The writing, the writing, the stunt, like the, the, the, the, just the whole thing looked different. And it actually was like, not only that, but. It wasn't just a comedy. Like it pulled you a little bit.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Shane had to do some real acting.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, like acting and like, like drama and like, oh, fuck, I just felt something different than just laughing at these guys being very funny. But you were great in it.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Thank you, bro. Appreciate it.

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  A role you were born to play. Is it hard to have it? Did you have to method act to, to become a sex addict?

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  It was hard to be a horny Greek guy, kind of giving too much to his career.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? It was really hard. It was really hard. Uh, yes, I keep getting, and look, I've been playing fat scumbags. I think it's time. I want to. And I got to play actually for the first time a fat cuck entire season three, which was nice.

• 1:05:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  But I'd like to play one more spiritual, you know, like, like, you know, like your, like the, your uncle that shit wasn't going good for him.

• 1:05:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  I would love to play like a fat bald accountant whose wife is fucking, getting fucked on the side.

• 1:05:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  That's my next role. Cause I've played scumbags. I'd like, yeah, exactly. I'd like to play a sympathetic figure.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  A guy we all feel bad for.

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:05:20Speaker 00

  And then you end up with like the hottest, you know.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Or maybe it ends up bad for me, let's be honest. Maybe I kill my, my big dramatic turn. I mean, I did win. I, I saw The Odyssey this summer and I thought like much, you know, a lot of other people online. I was like this, where are all the Greeks in this movie? That's it. That's it. That is a tough subject for me because it was between me and Tom Holland for Telemachus. So it's, it's tough. I don't, I don't usually like disclose that Hollywood insider stuff, but. We were the last two and he just edged me out. So. We needed more Greeks. By the way, I think we do have a cuck of the year. Yeah, we do. Hang on one second. Really?

• 1:05:51Speaker 00

  Jerry O'Connell won it for saying that his entire, the entirety of his family beat him up for saying one negative thing about Kamala. He said to Bill Maher.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Well, that's no way, that's no way for the limb of the year to be behaving. Yeah. Well, no, that's, that, that would be Jersey Jerry.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  Oh, Jersey Jerry.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  I mean, you talk about the fall of, of civilization. Uh, President Biden gave the award to Jersey Jerry this year. Yeah. That sounds about right, actually. Yeah. Okay. So here's. Mentally Biden is, is Jersey Jerry. I don't know who Jersey Jerry is.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  It's actually like, it like, it like bums me out that we've lost some things in like the, the Rockin' Jacques, Dan Cortez, like, uh. What was that? What was, what was it? Like MTV?

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was Rockin' Jacques.

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  Like I'm mad that we don't have anymore because like, we would definitely have presidents playing in that.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Oh, you're so fucking right. The punt pass and kick. That would be a presidential punt pass and kick. I would love to see. It's not these motherfuckers can even like take a walk. It's crazy. It would be like J D Vance stiff arm and Carmen Electra.

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, right. I need that.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  Her bikini top falls off and yeah, it's a whole thing. Uh, so this is the cuck of the year trophy. Okay. Oh, I see. It's a man on a chair. So ag- in many ways Jerry, the Jerry's are sort of mirror images of each other.

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  They are. They're very similar. They're interchangeable.

• 1:07:02Speaker 02

  So this is something to shoot for Stavi. Maybe next. I'll get there. Yeah.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  But you, dude, it's been awesome to watch you. Like I, I don't want to, I don't want to like totally blow you. But it's, you're like blowing up and you're.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  I don't know what's happening either.

• 1:07:13Speaker 00

  Podcast is awesome.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  I am as confused as everybody else.

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  Like it's so fucking cool to see, man.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  Thanks, man. Yeah, it is. It is fucking crazy. Like I don't understand how, I mean, again, just lucky I answered one of Shane's texts four years ago. It was like, hey, we're shooting something. It'll be fun. I was like, all right, fuck it. That changed my life.

• 1:07:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  And then just like, you know, I, I don't understand why like, uh, you know, crowd work clips went viral as fuck for two years, but. They did. And then I got to just have big ass Netflix specials. And then I, the one that really makes no sense is why I got to just act immediately.

• 1:07:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  I think some fat actor, like God is trying to punish him. I think like, I am sort of like. Hey, you worked your whole life. You're a Shakespeare trained actor, but you sinned too hard. So we're going to find the dumbest, fattest guy from. The worst parts of entertainment, podcasting, and we're going to elevate. Made him to a movie star. I think I'm actually the villain in somebody else's Truman Show.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  This is, this is the feelings I had about the book. Someone spent years and years.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  There's real sports journalists.

• 1:08:16Speaker 00

  Laboring over like writing and, and journalism. And then we just shit out half of them, half a book. Cause we didn't write the whole thing. And like, oh yeah, they, but yeah, so you are someone out there.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  It's Paul Thomas, Thomas Walter. Yeah, yeah. Paul Walter Hauser. That honestly might be true, dude. Yeah. What did he do? He's gonna win an Oscar one day. Yeah, he's an actual good actor.

• 1:08:39Speaker 00

  You're a good actor.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  Did you act before any of this? Not really, dude. Baltimore School for the Arts, sixth grade, summer twigs program. That was the, that was the entirety of my acting. And then it's.

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  Wait, it was called the summer twigs? So you guys were literally an acting bundle of sticks?

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, I suppose that's true. And we'll keep it at that.

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Again, this is where your friends being illiterate helps us.

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  I graduated from the British cigarette.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  The British cigarette academy. Yeah, dude, it was like the one I've never, you know, I just kinda was like a guy who was like, man, it'd be awesome to just be the fat neighbor in a sitcom. And it just did kinda happen. I'm not the fat neighbor. I'm the fat assistant manager at a tire shop.

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:27Speaker 02

  That's all, dude. I all, the, the, the max of my career was always like, be the fat guy who pops in seven times. You know, once every seven scenes to like, split his pants, you know, sit on a whoopee cushion, do that kinda stuff. Hawaiian shirt. Hawaiian shirt, exactly. So I'm happy to, if I could stay here for the rest of my life, it would be awesome.

• 1:09:47Speaker 00

  You, you basically like grew up and you're like, being like, if I could just be Newman or Kevin James.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  Kevin James, yeah, exactly. Which way? It's, it's the fucking meme. It's like Newman or Kevin James. Kevin James was the North Star. No, not joking. Like, oh, King of Queens, dude. I actually have a joke in the special where I was like, I'm mad. Cause that's not what life is like for fat people. Like, it's actually fucked up. They showed fat little boys that this is what life becomes. Cause it's like, no, it's sleep apnea. It's back problems. It's not, it's not getting hard. Cause you had too big a sandwich. That's what it's actually like to be fat as shit.

• 1:10:22Speaker 00

  It's the whole, it's the whole like dad bod and it's like, women don't actually want dad bodies. They want dads who are ripped.

• 1:10:30Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  That's the difference.

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  That would be the best one, but they'll settle, they'll settle for somebody who looks like shit. Yeah, there's always like every fat guy in every TV show, every commercial has just like a nine out of 10 smoking wife. And he's always complaining about it. Oh, my bitch wife won't let me go out in the amber on a Wednesday.

• 1:10:47Speaker 00

  It's Seth Rogen and Jason Segel fucked it up too. Like all their movies.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  They got a little sex. That's a great point. Seth Rogen started fat and slowly became kinda sexy.

• 1:10:57Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  And Segel too, when he shows his nice fat hog, that was a big moment. Forgetting Sarah Marshall where they're hanging dong. When the protagonist of an appetite produced movie has a nice fat cock and he's not some fat guy with a little dick. That was when it all started coming down for us.

• 1:11:13Speaker 00

  Oh, man. But yeah, so, all right. So the special, where'd you film it?

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  Filmed it in Baltimore at the Lyric. It was, yeah.

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  I was gonna say, everything in your life is going well, except that Lamar will never win the big one.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  Okay, what is this about? Why the fuck are you saying stuff like that? What do you mean? He's winning it this fucking year, dude. Championship loaded. We got Minter. We got the boy genius back there fucking setting up our defense. Fuck you.

• 1:11:36Speaker 00

  What's it like?

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  That's why Caleb's a piece of shit. He's a fucking bust. And I, I was about to just hit PFT for no reason, but you didn't say anything. I was getting worked up, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna wait. I appreciate that. I was actually gonna ask you a more positive question. What it's like having Nate Bargatze as your head coach? He does look like Nate. A lot, yeah. No, I, I, listen, the Ravens, I hope that, I hope you get your wishes fulfilled this year. Is the Super Bowl on your birthday again? It's not. I don't, actually I don't know. I don't think it is.

• 1:12:03Speaker 00

  When's your birthday?

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  February 11th?

• 1:12:05Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  I think Super Bowl this, this year's, uh, it's like it's Valentine's Day.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's basically it. That's right. Yeah. So I, I do think you've got a decent chance. You have a little change of pace. I do feel like Harbaugh moved on pretty quick after you guys. He did. It was the classic, like the second, the second you get divorced, you get a trophy wife. Like New York is totally a busted. The Giants are a busted woman with big fake tits. Cause it's like, you know, she used to be hot. There's some history there, but it's like, you just, it's kinda like going Bezos. Like Bezos's wife. That's what the Giants are. A lot of history, you know, and you're trying to give it a facelift. You know, that's what part, and I think he will be good for them, honestly, but you know, it's tough. I, I think. As long as we got Lamar, we got Derrick Henry, and if we can, I mean, look, Matt Abike comes back. That's the thing. Our edges are fucking nice.

• 1:12:54Speaker 00

  No, I think you guys should be good.

• 1:12:55Speaker 02

  But like, but like, don't fuck, don't fuck with me, big cat, you piece of shit. Cause we, it is one of those things where I'm like, I want, I need Lamar to get to everything to click for once.

• 1:13:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. And you got Max Crosby.

• 1:13:06Speaker 02

  All right. We did fine on that. All right.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  I actually think you did pretty well.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  We finessed the situation in a weird way.

• 1:13:14Speaker 00

  It was actually a nice spot where it's like, you're like, oh, fuck, we, Max Crosby's incredible. But you're like, oh, we gave up that for Max Crosby? And then it flipped and you're like, oh, now we got, okay, so.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  So we just get a guy with no draft, we're not trading shit? Nice.

• 1:13:28Speaker 00

  Who's not Max Crosby, but still.

• 1:13:30Speaker 02

  But he's not, you know, we didn't give anything up.

• 1:13:32Speaker 00

  I think you guys are gonna be in a better spot because I do think the, the Harbaugh thing, like he's a very good coach, but it does get stale at some point. And you like, you, you, you just lose the message. Having someone new, it's gonna be similar because it's very like Josh Allen and Lamar, similar situations. Like coaches that maybe it got stale and now they got new guys. Like, could it be the thing that propels them?

• 1:13:55Speaker 02

  Absolutely. And I think for both of those guys, it did feel a little late. I mean, I love Harbaugh, obviously, but to me, I mean. I will never stop thinking about that year where it was on my birthday because it felt like so perfect.

• 1:14:08Speaker 00

  That was such a good team.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  It was like, he goes out, we win, and then it was like, we still had Mike and Mike stays. And it was like, and like, I had this entire fairy tale where it's like. Harbaugh like at the ceremony is like, and here's your next head coach. And he goes, he becomes a ceremonial GM, but it was clear Harbaugh wasn't ready to, you know. These guys don't wanna hang it up. And I, again, I think it'll be good for the Giants. They need to like a floor.

• 1:14:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's the reta for the Giants. They're gonna get a little jacked.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  Eventually they'll eat through it. You know, that's the playoffs. They gotta get to the playoffs, but get there first. Are you Knicks fan? We were talking about this during the playoff. I am. Cause I, I thought that you were, and I think big cat was like, he's more of a Yanis fan.

• 1:14:47Speaker 00

  I like Yanis over everything.

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  Absolutely. So I, this actually is, I would love to make this and talk to you guys about it as sports bros. Because I think I have an airtight, some of my friends were like making fun of me about being a Knicks fan on, on this championship run. Particularly Joe List, that Boston piece of shit. But I think I moved to New York 12, when Porzingis was drafted. 12 or 13 years ago, I don't remember when. I grew up in Baltimore. I'm not gonna be a fucking, you know this, I'm not gonna be a Wizards fan. You don't believe in the Wiz? No, dude. Dude, the Wizard back. But like, I'm not from DC.

• 1:15:20Speaker 00

  This is a trick for PFT to have you bring up the Wizards.

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  That's a great point. That's a great point. That is a good point. They are looking, they are, this is the first time you've had any hope ever in a really long time. Just a little bit of Wizards talk and all of a sudden everybody's like, whoa, this is way too much Wizards talk. But you know, I'm, I'm interested to see what happens, but I like, I could never do that. Like it would be like a, being from Chicago and rooting for Milwaukee essentially, right? Or vice versa. Actually, it'd be like someone from Milwaukee rooting for Chicago. It's the smaller city has to get cucked and root for the bigger city. I never wanted to do that. And so when I moved to New York, if Baltimore had a team, I would be the biggest super fan of all time. Like, that's my favorite sport. As much as I love football, basketball's my favorite sport. I would be fucking, I would be Jack Nicholson for Baltimore, right?

• 1:16:04Speaker 00

  And you ride for Yanis.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  And, and I ride for Yanis. So, and great Greeks.

• 1:16:08Speaker 00

  Do you ride for Yanis's brother? The same way? Cause that's kinda bullshit if you don't.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  I do, but you know.

• 1:16:16Speaker 00

  Sounds like you don't.

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  I, well, listen, I do, cause he's always been on the same roster the whole time.

• 1:16:20Speaker 00

  Right. I know, but now are.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  Or the Knicks.

• 1:16:22Speaker 00

  Didn't one of them get left in Milwaukee?

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:16:25Speaker 00

  So you have to like, I need you to like league past Bucks games for Thanasis or whatever his name is.

• 1:16:32Speaker 02

  Thanasi, I don't think, is it, which one is it? Costa, Thanasi, Alex? There's four. It's Costa, Thanasi, Alex. I think Thanasi's out now. He's more of a business mind. A shrewd man. You will, I will not say anything bad about a single that the Kumbo brother. Nice try, big cat.

• 1:16:47Speaker 00

  He needs, I mean, Yanis, this is a big, I feel like this is the next like three years. Like if you're gonna win another one, it's gotta be now.

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  And listen, I like, I mean, you know, they have such an incredible coach. He can figure, like going to Miami is one of those places where you're like, all right. I mean, it was about to be doomsday when it was fucking Boston. I was going to fucking kill myself.

• 1:17:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, that would've been tough for you.

• 1:17:09Speaker 02

  I couldn't have, it would've canceled out. There was no, I would've just.

• 1:17:12Speaker 00

  Turned your back on him.

• 1:17:13Speaker 02

  I would've had the good fellows give him $1,300 and be like, I turned my back on you now. I have to root again. I couldn't, I couldn't. It would be the weirdest thing. It would be like, I would see his face and be happy and see his jersey and cry. Like, I think I would've lost my mind. Would you have to like convince yourself that he wasn't actually Greek? Like told yourself a tale like actually. Oh, yeah. Who knows? Really kinda Albanian.

• 1:17:36Speaker 02

  No, he loves Greece too much. I couldn't do it. It would be hard, but I didn't, luckily, didn't have to do it.

• 1:17:41Speaker 00

  Guess we'll never know.

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Guess we'll never know. And Miami, listen, I'll never root for Miami. Like if they come against the Knicks, I'd root for the Knicks, but like. I don't like that it's a rival. I would've liked if it, like the Timberwolves would've been awesome, for example, or just some.

• 1:17:55Speaker 00

  You need him to go to the Sacramento Kings.

• 1:17:57Speaker 02

  No, I don't wanna be bad, but it's just like somewhere cool, you know? Anyway, but I'm pumped. I think that like, you know, I just wanna see what he does. Miami's a fun city. If I have to get down there and see some games, hey, it's not the worst thing in the world.

• 1:18:09Speaker 00

  Have you talked to him?

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:18:11Speaker 00

  Cause, cause hasn't Sam Morril talked to him?

• 1:18:13Speaker 02

  He was at a benefit. He was at a benefit where he was there and I just missed him. I was sick. Sam invited me and I was sick that day. And did you know he was gonna be there? No, I had no fucking idea. If you were sick and you were gonna meet him, like you would've gone, right?

• 1:18:26Speaker 00

  Would you've gotten him sick?

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  Or would you have felt like, oh shit, maybe I shouldn't meet him. Maybe this would be saving his life by staying home. That's a good point. I probably would've, I, I don't remember how sick I was. If I, I probably would've masked up.

• 1:18:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  You know, still had the COVID mask laying around, made sure, but like, he would've think, he would've thought I'm an insane person. Cause it was also like a, like a gala. I think you had to wear a suit and tie. I would've been up there masked up.

• 1:18:48Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:48Speaker 02

  I would've put it on just to meet him. He would've been like, the fuck's going on here? Everybody else, I don't give a shit about.

• 1:18:54Speaker 00

  So much. How, did you go to Greece this summer?

• 1:18:57Speaker 02

  I didn't, dude. I had to fucking.

• 1:18:59Speaker 00

  How's Greece doing? I heard in Greece, you, they don't have toilets that you can throw toilet paper away in.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, that is true.

• 1:19:05Speaker 00

  What does that mean?

• 1:19:06Speaker 02

  That's just, you know, bad post-war infrastructure.

• 1:19:09Speaker 00

  So.

• 1:19:10Speaker 02

  You need a little shit basket. You need a little shit basket.

• 1:19:14Speaker 00

  There's just. Trash in the toilet, in the bathroom.

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:19:17Speaker 00

  With.

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  A lid, you use a lid.

• 1:19:19Speaker 00

  And then who throws that out?

• 1:19:22Speaker 02

  That's a tough.

• 1:19:23Speaker 06

  No one knows.

• 1:19:26Speaker 00

  No one has an answer to that.

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's, I mean, probably your grandmother or mother. That's the, that's the, that's the flip side of a patriarchal society. Growing up, the firstborn son, I've never had to worry about.

• 1:19:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  Takes out the shit papers, you know, they're just, they're just gone when I get there. But yes, it's a tough look.

• 1:19:43Speaker 00

  That is.

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  I mean, I think WMB players who used to play in Russia, that was the same shit. I remember reading a, reading an article and they were like, the one problem with playing overseas is that you can't flush your, like, I think it was like a Diana Taurasi quote, which is like, somebody has to come and take, mysteriously, the shit papers disappear for them too.

• 1:19:59Speaker 00

  That's a big problem.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  That is one thing America is crushing.

• 1:20:02Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:20:03Speaker 02

  Plumbing.

• 1:20:03Speaker 00

  Air conditioning and plumbing.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:06Speaker 00

  We, we fucking kick ass.

• 1:20:07Speaker 06

  I remember the first, I, I think that's, it's the same way in parts of Latin America and South America too.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:20:12Speaker 06

  And you go in there and, and as an American, you see that sign on the wall and you're like, surely they can't mean, like my poop.

• 1:20:19Speaker 00

  Not me.

• 1:20:20Speaker 06

  Goes right there.

• 1:20:20Speaker 00

  Am I poop?

• 1:20:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's, that's major culture shock.

• 1:20:24Speaker 02

  It's tough.

• 1:20:25Speaker 06

  You know, like it does ma, I think it makes you gritty.

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  It makes you gritty, it makes you, by the way, it makes you earn every wipe.

• 1:20:30Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  Now you're like, now, now it's not just an endless, an endless black hole you throw your shit paper on. There's limited space.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  You have to be very strategic and you have to really get the most out of every square.

• 1:20:42Speaker 00

  I'd have to be like, you know, like when you're in college and like you never want to take out the trash, you step on the trash. I'm stepping on the trash, on the shit paper.

• 1:20:50Speaker 02

  Shit papers. You have your shit boot, you put on the shit, the shit paper boot and you just press it down.

• 1:20:55Speaker 00

  I'm not taking it out today.

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're just stacking shit paper. You fold your shit paper into origami and put it on top.

• 1:21:02Speaker 06

  Growing up, it was just like you flush something and then who knows where it goes. That's how you just get rid of stuff.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:07Speaker 06

  Push that button and it's gone.

• 1:21:09Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Speaker 00

  We flushed our goldfish down the, our dead one.

• 1:21:12Speaker 06

  We did, yeah.

• 1:21:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:13Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 1:21:14Speaker 00

  People were upset about that. It's like, where else is it supposed to go? I was like, it's in the book. It was like nine years ago.

• 1:21:19Speaker 02

  Oh, nine years ago. Oh, you did. I thought you meant your children.

• 1:21:22Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  I thought you were telling a heartwarming anecdote.

• 1:21:24Speaker 00

  Adult men, we flushed our goldfish that we had make NFL picks for us down the toilet.

• 1:21:31Speaker 02

  How could I forget? What was, what was the goldfish?

• 1:21:34Speaker 06

  It was Larry Ter.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  Larry, the, yes.

• 1:21:36Speaker 00

  Larry Ter. Went like fifty-five percent.

• 1:21:38Speaker 02

  How could I forget Larry?

• 1:21:39Speaker 06

  Like actually the world's best gambler.

• 1:21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:41Speaker 00

  And then his grave got robbed.

• 1:21:44Speaker 06

  We buried him in Canton, Ohio at the Hall of Fame.

• 1:21:47Speaker 06

  He put a tiny little gold jacket on his body.

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  He did better than the turtle.

• 1:21:52Speaker 00

  Oh, the turtle sucks. We rehomed the turtle. Rehomed.

• 1:21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:57Speaker 06

  It turns out that.

• 1:21:58Speaker 02

  The turtle was getting made.

• 1:21:59Speaker 06

  We got a turtle named Mr. Pear and then we had Forrest Galante, who's a big like wildlife guy, outdoorsman on YouTube. He came into the office and introduced him to Mr. Pear and he goes, you know, Mr. Pear's actually, that's a female turtle.

• 1:22:10Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:22:11Speaker 06

  They have. And I was like, well, that explains its record against the spread.

• 1:22:14Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:22:15Speaker 06

  He doesn't really watch ball.

• 1:22:18Speaker 02

  Mrs. Pear.

• 1:22:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, it could give you like mixed signals on what it was for dinner, where it wants to go eat.

• 1:22:25Speaker 02

  My fucking bitch turtle wife won't suck me off.

• 1:22:29Speaker 00

  I had to actually tell my kids that we didn't have Mr. Pear anymore. They were pretty upset.

• 1:22:33Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:22:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  Baby, yeah, little kids love turtles.

• 1:22:35Speaker 00

  I was just like, listen, he, she, she, that bitch, that bitch sucked a camel.

• 1:22:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, that whore, that whore's the reason you don't have candy this week. That whore's the rea, that whore's the reason we're light on the Saturday donuts this week.

• 1:22:48Speaker 00

  Exactly. There's only four now. Yeah. Alright, so what else is going on? I mean, it's.

• 1:22:53Speaker 02

  Dude, the special really, like, please watch the special, everyone. It's good as fuck. I worked hard.

• 1:22:58Speaker 00

  Favorite one?

• 1:22:59Speaker 02

  It's my favorite one. And I did it with Matt Johnson, who, he directed Tony, he directed Nirvana, the Band the Show, BlackBerry.

• 1:23:05Speaker 00

  Oh, hell, yes.

• 1:23:05Speaker 02

  He's so fucking funny. Matt's the man. And we did something kind of fun with the special, like we, we, like, I don't want to give too much away, but we do like some organ, there's a real interaction and then we build some interesting stuff in the special around it. Cause Matt is so good at like finding real people and, and putting them into like his movies and TV shows and stuff. So it's kind of like an interesting, if you're a fan of Matt, which his stuff is so great, you should check it out. And if you just like straight up good ass standup, I worked on this for like three years. I mean, you guys came to the Chicago Theater.

• 1:23:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Speaker 02

  Uh, that's the, it's pretty much a better version of that from like a year ago, but I've been touring with this for like three years. So please watch the special, everybody. That's the main thing. But then, you know, after that, there's other shit, I guess.

• 1:23:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. Are you, are you gonna, like, because the acting's going so well, your podcast, everything, are you gonna stick with, uh, like comedy? Go, like, are you gonna, like, after this one, like, this is a big one. I know, but like, it's hard. I would imagine. It's, doing standup comedy's gotta be the hardest thing of the three, I would imagine.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  You know, it's the, traveling's the most, but like acting's kind of like, it's not harder, it's just fucking annoying. It's a real job.

• 1:24:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  Like, other people depend on you. You can't wake up hungover, yell at your Albanian friend to go get you a, a fucking sausage, egg and cheese.

• 1:24:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:24Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, it's, and also like, I'm not a fucking act. Like, I'm a standup.

• 1:24:28Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:24:29Speaker 02

  Like, that's the thing. I'm not one of these guys that wants to leave, like, I'd love, look, I'll, I want to be like the fact, like, I love Adam Sandler, Chris Farley movies, Will Ferrell. Like, I'd love to do like a Danny McBride, you know, Eastbound and Down, my favorite show. Obviously, I'd love to keep doing stuff like tires and that kind of thing, but dude, standup is where I belong.

• 1:24:46Speaker 00

  Because I, I, I would liken it to like in sports media where it's like newspaper writers want to be radio guys, radio guys want to be on TV. Cause like TV's the, like a lot easier to do than write a column every.

• 1:24:57Speaker 02

  For sure, for sure, for sure.

• 1:24:58Speaker 00

  Standup, getting up every night is the biggest grind of all of those.

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  And it, I mean, yes, it's like ultimately easy compared to real jobs, but compared to other showbiz jobs, it actually is more work.

• 1:25:10Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  Um, but I just fucking love, and it is killing me clearly, like touring destroys you. Like, and I eat like shit, I do drugs, whatever. But, uh, and I can't stop.

• 1:25:20Speaker 00

  Really nice whatever there.

• 1:25:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:22Speaker 00

  And I do drugs.

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  And every time I'm on tour, I relapse, but

• 1:25:26Speaker 02

  I, I, I had a year and a half of some writing. As soon as I got on the road, the first day, I was like, let's get fucked up immediately. And I've just been doing that for two years since. Uh, so that's, I have some stuff to figure out, but look, man, when I'm acting, I feel like a, it's like putting a little fucking rat in a tuxedo. You know what I mean? But it's like, where I belong is in the mud, podcasting, doing standup. Like, I, like you motherfuckers too. I mean, I remember when the, the ESPN show. And it was like fucking heartbreaking. Like, I remember it feeling, Shane, the ESPN show. It felt like there were moments where all of us were trying to do it. Nick Mullin had his fucking commercial taken away. Like, all of us kind of tried too fast.

• 1:26:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:06Speaker 02

  To do it the regular way. And then we realized like, we're not meant for this.

• 1:26:09Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:26:10Speaker 02

  We're not meant to.

• 1:26:11Speaker 00

  I don't want to be held to these standards.

• 1:26:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. It felt like, um, uh, we've, we've done a lot of Goodfellas allusions, but it was the getting made scene back to back to back, where all my friends were getting insane opportunities and immediately getting fired. And so I'm like, dude, I'm lucky that I was the low, less talented of that group and it took ten years for me to get stuff, to get like, and by the time I was getting mainstream stuff, I was like, oh, this is a bonus, but where I belong is, is here. Doing standup, fucking literally, you guys accidentally becoming the best sport, like, the reason I'm on the biggest sports show is because my dumb friends accidentally have it. I would never try and get on the biggest show of anything, you know what I mean? Like, my entire press tour was like,

• 1:26:56Speaker 02

  I was like, I guess I'll go to LA and do fucking Bad Friend. I'll just do Bad Friends, then I'll come here and do.

• 1:27:01Speaker 00

  Stop in Chicago, then they'll go back to New York.

• 1:27:04Speaker 02

  And he was like, I'm going to a Notre Dame game. So I was like, alright, I guess I'm not doing that show. Like, that's as much. I didn't try and reschedule. I was just like, hey dude, are you gonna be around? He's like, no. I was like, alright, fuck it. I guess I'm just not doing the biggest comedy podcast to promote my special.

• 1:27:17Speaker 06

  Our, our press tour for the book was like going on other Barstool shows.

• 1:27:20Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:27:22Speaker 02

  Just shittier versions of your show.

• 1:27:23Speaker 00

  No, we had a meeting and they were like.

• 1:27:25Speaker 06

  The Canadian version, yeah.

• 1:27:26Speaker 00

  They were like, uh, like, we're thinking maybe you do this, like, uh, you know, a big like Fox hit or CBS. And we're like, how about we just say it on the number one sports podcast? Like, I think we have our own press at this point.

• 1:27:40Speaker 06

  We're like, we'll just get everybody that wrote a chapter in the book to promote the book.

• 1:27:43Speaker 02

  Exactly, but yeah, that, that right there makes it a New York Times bestseller.

• 1:27:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:47Speaker 02

  If everybody who collaborated on this bought a copy, that's a million people.

• 1:27:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. It takes a village.

• 1:27:53Speaker 06

  The, the Goodfellas analogy, I, I think. It's kind of like, um, back in the day, the mob tried to, you know, they tried to go clean.

• 1:28:00Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:28:00Speaker 06

  You know, certain people would try to get in legitimate businesses. And if they tried too hard to break in, they would get elbowed out because it'd be like, this guy's dirty. You know, he's got this long track record until eventually you wait long enough. And they just control some of the businesses now, the legit businesses. And that's kind of like where the, the podcasting class.

• 1:28:17Speaker 00

  That's a great point.

• 1:28:18Speaker 06

  Of 2016. I think that's where we're at right now.

• 1:28:20Speaker 00

  That is so true.

• 1:28:21Speaker 06

  Well, the mob kind of runs everything, so just deal with it. Yeah.

• 1:28:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Like, what are you gonna do? Like, yeah, like Pat McAfee has the most power at ESPN.

• 1:28:31Speaker 02

  I know. He has so much power, he thinks he can do music.

• 1:28:36Speaker 00

  You can't fuck with us anymore.

• 1:28:37Speaker 02

  That's when you know someone is lost, is like Roman emperor successful. Because he's like, oh, I'm actually good at, I'm gonna just do the songs Jelly Roll doesn't want to do. Whatever Jelly Roll threw away, I'll go ahead and take a crack at them.

• 1:28:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  Love to do the show, Pat. Anytime.

• 1:28:54Speaker 00

  No, it's like, it's either that or like the, the nerd who starts doing like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's like, I could actually get in a real fight.

• 1:29:02Speaker 02

  I'm actually jacked. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:03Speaker 00

  Like, like when Jonah Hill was like, I could, I could, I could fuck any of you up.

• 1:29:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's tough.

• 1:29:08Speaker 00

  Dude, I don't think so.

• 1:29:09Speaker 02

  I love Jonah too, and it's like, I, I, I, we need to get back to what's beautiful about being, even if you're not fat anymore, in your soul, being a fat guy's good.

• 1:29:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Stop trying to be, I don't want, we shouldn't be leading with violence.

• 1:29:22Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:29:22Speaker 02

  When you're, when you've been a fat icon, even as skinny, it needs to be about having the good times rolling.

• 1:29:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, it needs to be about making fun of yourself. That's what you, that's how you make friends.

• 1:29:31Speaker 02

  And you can make fun of your friends too, but you have to ultimately not be too serious about yourself. But yeah, dude, that's how I feel where I'm like, stand up is what I'll do forever, podcast. And then like, listen, I'm not gonna stop them from putting me in movies. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say no, thank you.

• 1:29:45Speaker 00

  That is the best feeling. Like, we, we talked about it when we were going back in like the 10 years of like, having that realization, like, I don't need the other things. You, you think you need them. Cause that's what everyone tells you. And then you realize, wait, I don't need ESPN. I don't need a TV show. We're pretty, we're having a pretty good time here.

• 1:30:02Speaker 02

  This is insane. You have a fucking full core. I mean, I just got, you got, when you guys come to New York, you gotta come to the new office. I, I was honestly inspired by the fact that you guys just made a hilarious place to hang out.

• 1:30:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:13Speaker 02

  It's technically your job.

• 1:30:14Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:30:15Speaker 02

  I did the same thing in New York. I was trying to get myself a nice.

• 1:30:18Speaker 00

  What did you get, what'd you get set up? Cause the problem with New York is you just don't have the square footage.

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, compared to this, it's dog shit. But compared to like, I just got like a, a real office. We have a studio. I got myself a little big buck hunter, got myself a hundred inch television.

• 1:30:30Speaker 00

  Hell, yes.

• 1:30:31Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like a couch that reclines.

• 1:30:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:34Speaker 02

  Like the amount of hang space versus, and like, there's like a desk in the wall, like pushed up against the wall. But all the like video games and the fucking vintage pornography, that gets, that's number one. You know what I mean? I've got to get up on your Uncrustables game though. That's a beautiful.

• 1:30:50Speaker 00

  Pretty strong.

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  Culturally, it's beautiful what you're doing Uncrustables wise.

• 1:30:53Speaker 06

  I mean, it is great. The problem is like every time you go, you walk past that fridge, you think to yourself, why not give myself a little treat?

• 1:31:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:00Speaker 02

  A little boost, not a snack.

• 1:31:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:02Speaker 02

  Not a treat, a boost.

• 1:31:03Speaker 00

  A boost for the work day.

• 1:31:04Speaker 06

  Some energy.

• 1:31:05Speaker 02

  That's why, literally, that's how I started. I was like, let me get one.

• 1:31:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:08Speaker 02

  Who am I kidding? I gotta start it, I gotta start it with the fucking Uncrustables.

• 1:31:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, I feel my, my blood sugar might be a little bit low. This will be good for me to have this.

• 1:31:15Speaker 00

  But it is, it is, uh, yeah, I mean, I like, I was, I think I was telling my wife and she was like, what do you, like, in 20 years? I was like, yeah, I'd love to have like a, like a bar or pizza place, like a place in the back that I could just hang with my friends. And she's like, you literally have that now. There's no front to it, but you have that. You literally do that every day.

• 1:31:35Speaker 02

  No, but I'm with you. It needs to be an operating business.

• 1:31:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:38Speaker 02

  I'm so with you, like, cause that's the next level. It's like owning a failing business as your like hang, as your living room.

• 1:31:45Speaker 00

  As my hangout spot, like in the back and just have, have just like a, a, like I walked by like a Knights of Columbus the other day. And I was like, I just, I think I just want to be there.

• 1:31:54Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Working, I want to work the fryer at a diner.

• 1:31:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:58Speaker 02

  Like, I want to work a blacktop. I would love if I had a fucking diner and nobody came in but my friends.

• 1:32:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:04Speaker 02

  Awesome.

• 1:32:05Speaker 00

  But also not work it that much.

• 1:32:07Speaker 02

  No, I work one shift every four months.

• 1:32:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, like chop, come out, chop some onions and be like, I'm gonna go play cards in the back.

• 1:32:13Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. I would, basically what I'm saying is when I want, when I get so fucking high that I, I'm non-verbal and I have a sandwich in my head that I can't like, uh, you know, communicate. I want to go back there and create it myself. You know what I mean? Like, I want to deep fry the tenders. I want to, I want to, you know, put bacon in the breading. You know what I mean? Like, when I can't say it, that's what I want.

• 1:32:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:35Speaker 02

  I want a full kitchen at my disposal to, to make my fat dreams come true.

• 1:32:39Speaker 06

  Yes. It's, it's actually not the craziest thing to think that we would put in at some point, like a, a drive-through window here.

• 1:32:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:44Speaker 06

  At the office and just hire somebody that's just like, yeah, selling subs at the side.

• 1:32:48Speaker 02

  I mean, yes, you should just have, you should have a food truck that, that's somebody that work, it's like in-house.

• 1:32:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  That's what you fucking need.

• 1:32:56Speaker 00

  I mean, Chef Donnie kind of is that, yeah.

• 1:32:57Speaker 02

  That's true, but I think we need to make it like formal.

• 1:33:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:33:00Speaker 00

  Or a tire shop, just hang out in the, that's, yeah.

• 1:33:03Speaker 02

  That's not bad.

• 1:33:04Speaker 00

  That's exactly it. Like, I just, we basically have created a tire shop without any tires.

• 1:33:08Speaker 06

  Have you, uh, by working on the show, have you unknowingly like picked up all the tips and tricks about working at a tire shop? Like all the ways they get you?

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  I have no idea. No, no, we do no real research. It's in, it's in a real tire shop and we are just, it's funny cause we're surrounded by functioning tire shops. Like, it's like, uh, Steve's dad shop is still, my office is his father's real office.

• 1:33:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:32Speaker 02

  On the show, so we're around it, but no, I'm having, I'm, all my time when we're not, uh, acting is eating Uncrustables.

• 1:33:40Speaker 00

  That's amazing.

• 1:33:41Speaker 02

  You know, the crafty I go buck wild on. Throw Reese's cup in the, like, smash it under the Uncrustable.

• 1:33:47Speaker 00

  Should we have, all right, Zach, you want, let's, let's get to this part, cause they, they.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  Please.

• 1:33:51Speaker 00

  We have, we have a Reese's lounge here that you'll have to check in. We have a literal candy shop in our, in our office.

• 1:33:57Speaker 02

  Oh my God, you got the Reese's fucking sponsorship?

• 1:34:00Speaker 00

  We have a Reese's lounge.

• 1:34:01Speaker 02

  I'm so jealous.

• 1:34:02Speaker 00

  It has everything that Reese's does upstairs.

• 1:34:05Speaker 02

  You got a fast break?

• 1:34:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34:06Speaker 02

  The fast break is, the cake five, the fast break?

• 1:34:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, we, we, we were talking about the other day, but like, when you were six years old, you're like, someday I want to be sponsored by Reese's.

• 1:34:19Speaker 00

  And that came true.

• 1:34:20Speaker 02

  Oh my God, that's beautiful.

• 1:34:21Speaker 06

  We, we do have all the ingredients here to make an Uncrustable with a Reese's in it.

• 1:34:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. We'll get back to Stavi in a second. But Stavros is brought to you by our friends at Lucy, Lucy Breakers. I got them right here in my pocket. The Lucy Breakers are intense, long-lasting flavor that actually satisfies. Bite and burst tech, bite down, do pop the capsule for a satisfying click and a rush of fresh flavor. Breakers flavors are built to stay vivid from start to finish. Apple turns icy, berry gets a blast of citrus and mint gets even more minty. Creating a refreshing flavor experience that lasts longer and stays more interesting than ordinary pouches. Lucy's the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor. Get 20% off

• 1:35:09Speaker 00

  your first order when you buy online at lucy.co slash PMT with code PMT. And here comes the fine print. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Go get Lucy's today. Lucy.co slash PMT, code PMT. Lucy.co slash PMT. Now, back to Stavi. All right, so Zach, so Stavi has, Stavi just met Zach for the first time.

• 1:35:33Speaker 02

  I know, but listen, in person, but like, like America, I've been enchanted by Zach's offbeat charm.

• 1:35:39Speaker 00

  Yes, yes. So Stavi in the kitchen, he was like, what has changed around here? And Zach has been tasked with giving him an update and then we'll maybe talk about maybe an update with.

• 1:35:49Speaker 02

  I'd love an update. I have an update of my own.

• 1:35:51Speaker 00

  Yes, yes.

• 1:35:52Speaker 02

  But I would, I would love a general update because I literally think the last time I was here, I think Zach might've started like the week after.

• 1:35:59Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:36:00Speaker 02

  Like, I, I just missed him. It was like April of last year.

• 1:36:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:36:03Speaker 02

  So, you know, I've, I've loved the clips. I've loved, again, falling in love with those husky eyes.

• 1:36:08Speaker 00

  Oh my God.

• 1:36:09Speaker 02

  You know, it seems like, it seems like, again, those, that seems like someone gave, that was a gift from the gods.

• 1:36:14Speaker 00

  Yes. Caribbean blue. It's beautiful. By the way, Zach, uh, our bad not having you, we were literally like at your house yesterday. And we haven't talked to you.

• 1:36:25Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, you were, you guys were like down the street like 20 minutes.

• 1:36:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, we should have had you come with us.

• 1:36:29Speaker 06

  One of my, uh, one of my friends was bartending there yesterday, ran into a bunch of guys.

• 1:36:33Speaker 00

  We went to Zach's like backyard and didn't bring him.

• 1:36:35Speaker 02

  That's fucking hilarious.

• 1:36:37Speaker 00

  We landed, I was like, wait, isn't this where Zach's from? Whoops, should have brought him.

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  Oh, when you went to Florida.

• 1:36:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, we went to Florida for a day.

• 1:36:45Speaker 02

  Fucking funny, dude.

• 1:36:46Speaker 00

  We just didn't bring him. All right, Zach, ready?

• 1:36:49Speaker 03

  Uh, yes, sir. Uh, first bulletin point I have on here is that we, uh, built a Yugg station, uh, for speed pounding beers.

• 1:36:54Speaker 02

  Ooh, I love that.

• 1:36:55Speaker 00

  And how much use does it get?

• 1:36:57Speaker 03

  It's been, I think it's been retired. There's ivy grown over it.

• 1:36:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:00Speaker 03

  Bad spot.

• 1:37:00Speaker 00

  So Dana Beers wanted a Yugg station where he could, uh, it looks like an actual gas pump, but it delivers you beer.

• 1:37:08Speaker 02

  And conceptually, I love it.

• 1:37:09Speaker 00

  Yes, conceptually it made a lot of sense when he brought it to me. And so I was like, yes, of course, let's do it. I want you to be happy. Uh, he has not used it like ever.

• 1:37:17Speaker 02

  That's a rea- that's, that's a shame.

• 1:37:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, it sits right there.

• 1:37:20Speaker 02

  That's a real shame.

• 1:37:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it is a good idea. Yugg.

• 1:37:23Speaker 02

  Great idea.

• 1:37:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, the only thing, the only, it hasn't, he's done probably like 15 episodes. The only thing that I, I made a mandatory, cause I gave him like a decent budget to create this. I said that when you do a Yugg station episode, so it's essentially him just having a guest, they chug a beer and that's the, that's the episode. I said, you have to also put it on Spotify. So there is a podcast.

• 1:37:45Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 1:37:46Speaker 00

  It's like 90% of the podcast version has just ads and then it's like, hey, we got Stavi here. All right, ready, set, go. Goop. And then they're like, all right, that was it. It's a great podcast.

• 1:37:56Speaker 02

  That's an awesome podcast. All right. Nice. I love that.

• 1:37:59Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:37:59Speaker 03

  Uh, Hank has become left-handed.

• 1:38:01Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:38:01Speaker 02

  Really? Switched, yeah. Interesting.

• 1:38:03Speaker 00

  Golf. He switched his golf.

• 1:38:05Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. Isn't it a little late for that? Not entirely, because he's still like, sometimes drives right-handed, whole putt right-handed. Uh, but yeah, he made, he's, he calls himself. He's a lefty now.

• 1:38:15Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:38:15Speaker 02

  Well, the thing is. That's how it starts. Yeah. You gotta, listen, sometimes even though you're wearing khakis and a button down, you gotta put on a little lipstick. You know what I mean? That's the first step to becoming who you really are. That feels nice. It's the first step, saying you're a lefty is the first step to actually becoming a lefty.

• 1:38:29Speaker 00

  Putting on a pair of heels after a long day of work.

• 1:38:32Speaker 02

  That's step one. Crazy part was, he's, he has been a lefty his whole life. Really? And then for some reason, he decided he would golf righty and that's just how he always golfed. And then he thought to himself, I need to go back to the old me. Yeah.

• 1:38:44Speaker 00

  But he got good at righty.

• 1:38:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:45Speaker 00

  And then he switched it lefty and now he's worse at lefty.

• 1:38:48Speaker 02

  It has been nice tracking, again, here's what I know. I've been tracking Hank's misery.

• 1:38:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:38:53Speaker 02

  That's been really nice.

• 1:38:55Speaker 00

  He's had a terrible year.

• 1:38:56Speaker 02

  It's been a, it's just an, and it's not really, I feel bad for Hank because he is really, he's the sin eater for every Boston sports fan, basically, on this show. And just, he, it's just him, there's a couple of avatars where you're like, I'm glad you're fucking sad. Cause Boston's had it so nice. And the fact that it was, I know that skipping ahead maybe, I, I'm sorry, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, you know, spoil anything, but the fact that the Knicks championship was his birthday.

• 1:39:22Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:39:23Speaker 02

  Is maybe the most beautiful, as a fan of the show, just a beautiful moment.

• 1:39:27Speaker 00

  So upset. And he lost Liv.

• 1:39:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:29Speaker 00

  Liv golf, is gone. Biggest Liv head we, we know.

• 1:39:33Speaker 02

  Uh, that's embarrassing. To care about Liv is already the loss, but to like be sad is even worse.

• 1:39:38Speaker 00

  Well, I don't know if you heard, is, uh, last week, he went down to the last ever Liv event. And they all, they, he said they treated him like royalty. Cause they didn't realize like, we've been mocking Liv all along. They were like, this is Hank, he does so much for us.

• 1:39:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they like, tried to introduce him to, to, uh, Dustin Johnson. And they're like, hey, this is the guy that, you know, he's on part of my take. He talks about Liv all the time. Dustin was like, what? And just like walked away. Dustin Johnson doesn't care about Liv. Like.

• 1:40:06Speaker 00

  So good.

• 1:40:07Speaker 02

  Hank cared so much more about Liv than the actual golfers who were on the tour. Yeah, who'd get it for an insane paycheck.

• 1:40:13Speaker 00

  Yeah. $500 million.

• 1:40:14Speaker 02

  It's like, yeah, I can, oh, that's, oh, that's the number for me not to have principles.

• 1:40:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:18Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, they got to figure it out.

• 1:40:20Speaker 00

  And I get to wear shorts? Fuck, yeah, I'm in. All right, next.

• 1:40:25Speaker 03

  Uh, Max has been married four times.

• 1:40:27Speaker 02

  Four times? Yeah, Max got married four times. Yeah.

• 1:40:29Speaker 00

  Max got married this summer. He got married this summer. Uh, it was a long process. It was.

• 1:40:34Speaker 02

  Indian wedding? Is his wife?

• 1:40:36Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:40:36Speaker 02

  Is that that kind of thing? No?

• 1:40:38Speaker 00

  He got married, he had to like go to Philly, like three separate times to be like, oh, now we gotta go get the license. Now we gotta go get the.

• 1:40:47Speaker 02

  He wanted to have a Philly marriage?

• 1:40:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, no, he went, he went to, he had a destination wedding. Yeah. So they got the actual, they had a destination wedding outside of America. So they had to like.

• 1:40:55Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:40:56Speaker 00

  Fill out all the paperwork. He also had two bachelor parties. Now, did we force him to have one of them? Yes. But it was a law, it was like three separate marriages, two bachelor parties. It was a lot. And now he's on a two-week sex vacation right now.

• 1:41:10Speaker 02

  Good for him. Oh, so he's probably getting head right now.

• 1:41:12Speaker 00

  Right this second.

• 1:41:13Speaker 02

  He's in Italy right now. That's awesome. He's been listening to this show, like. That makes me feel good knowing that my boy's getting sucked off.

• 1:41:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:41:20Speaker 02

  On his, in Italy. Yeah. Belly full of linguine, get it? Your dick sucked by the love of your life? Could be worse.

• 1:41:26Speaker 00

  Should we call, here, I'll call, I'll dial his number, you just ask him.

• 1:41:30Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:41:30Speaker 00

  All right, hold on, I'll hand you the phone. Let's see if he's getting fucked right.

• 1:41:35Speaker 02

  One thing that he is doing is listening to part of my take, which I assure you, I, I would not be doing if I were on an Italian sex vacation. Of course not. Hello? Hey, Max, just wondering if you're getting head right now?

• 1:41:46Speaker 02

  What? Are you getting head on a veranda in Tuscany right now? Who is this?

• 1:41:57Speaker 02

  Hit your buddy Stav, Max. We were just talking about what I've missed. And I was, and I was like, where's Max? And they were like, he's in Italy on a sex vacation. And then I started dreaming about how wonderful that would be. And so I was just wondering, I was seeing if you maybe had some tiramisu on your lips and maybe also a little pussy juice in your beard. That's all, that's all I was asking. But hey, man. I actually, no, no. No? No? All right. Not, I swear. I'm laying on my bed. Oh, okay. All right. So we're getting there.

• 1:42:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:42:28Speaker 02

  All right, all right. Well, listen, enjoy, my friend.

• 1:42:33Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 1:42:37Speaker 02

  What time is it over there?

• 1:42:38Speaker 00

  Uh, it's like 7:00 PM.

• 1:42:40Speaker 02

  We're not, oh, okay, I see. He's settling into some head. This might be before dinner. And giving, by the way. Yeah. Come on, the Italians are passionate.

• 1:42:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right, next up.

• 1:42:50Speaker 03

  Uh, there's been some great, uh, memorabilia pickups, a couple of notable ones, FSU COVID banner at half court.

• 1:42:55Speaker 02

  Awesome.

• 1:42:56Speaker 03

  Taylor Swift chair in the Axe studio.

• 1:42:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you want to sit in that.

• 1:42:59Speaker 02

  I would love to.

• 1:43:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, where, wait, oh, it's in the, yeah, yeah, there's.

• 1:43:02Speaker 02

  I'd love to, when I do the Yext, sit in the Taylor Swift chair.

• 1:43:04Speaker 00

  I bought the chair that Taylor Swift sat in for game three of the Knicks versus Cleveland.

• 1:43:09Speaker 02

  When she was in Cleveland.

• 1:43:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:11Speaker 02

  And then came to the Nick, that pissed me off.

• 1:43:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:14Speaker 02

  You can't be, listen, and with the Hame sisters who are fucking LA, I was like, come on, guys. You can't be rooting against the Cavs and then, or rooting for the Cavs and then immediately come with Etsy level girl pun t-shirts. That, that was a little, that was a little much for me.

• 1:43:30Speaker 00

  I also thought she took the best pun by far and that was kinda fucked up.

• 1:43:33Speaker 02

  Oh, she, I don't remember.

• 1:43:34Speaker 00

  Stevie Nicks.

• 1:43:35Speaker 02

  It was her and. Oh, Stevie Nicks is good.

• 1:43:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:37Speaker 02

  She also gave one, it was her and Mariska Hargitay. Both had Stevie Nicks. And listen, I'm not, I don't want any beef on the eve of the special coming out. She's a very talented artist.

• 1:43:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a bad idea.

• 1:43:46Speaker 02

  Okay, I take it back. Actually, it was good that she did that.

• 1:43:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:49Speaker 02

  Please.

• 1:43:49Speaker 00

  She loved the chair.

• 1:43:50Speaker 02

  But I love the chair. I will sit in the chair. I love you. She did a great job. Don't attack me pre-special, please Swifties. Did you? No, you know what? Fuck that. I have to be a man of principle. I did not like that. And it's okay for me to say that. And you, please don't attack me.

• 1:44:06Speaker 00

  But also watch the special.

• 1:44:07Speaker 02

  Please watch the special. Did you think to yourself like, maybe, maybe I'll get an invite to the wedding?

• 1:44:13Speaker 02

  How many people would have to be invited for me to get the invite?

• 1:44:16Speaker 00

  It seemed like a lot.

• 1:44:16Speaker 02

  I had some, I had like a crazy amount of friends that were there.

• 1:44:20Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:44:21Speaker 02

  I mean, it was really, I mean, Santino was there. Um, you know, uh, Tommy Alter, the guy who knows everyone on earth.

• 1:44:28Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:44:28Speaker 02

  And no one is exactly sure what his job is or what he's ever contributed to society. Is Tommy in the CIA? I'm just thinking about it right now. He might, the way that he runs our fantasy football league, yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. He's like, hey, do you guys want?

• 1:44:41Speaker 00

  Tommy's massage.

• 1:44:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would not put it past that motherfucker. Hey, send me, uh, just real quick, a copy of your fingerprints. Also, we got Tim Robinson for fantasy football league this year. Let's go, boys. That is, yeah, I did not think I was getting an invite. Actually, you know what? I'm actually mad at you motherfuckers. Maybe I'm mad at memes. Cause one time where they got fucking, where they got engaged, you reran the video I did right after we lost and it made it look like, remember when I was like, fuck, fuck Travis Kelsey?

• 1:45:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:11Speaker 02

  Fuck, you know, I was, I was going off, cause it was the day after, where we've been talking about this interview. One of the darkest hours of my life.

• 1:45:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:45:19Speaker 02

  Was being at the AFC championship in the building, watching them win. And I came back, like I always do, I'm an open book.

• 1:45:24Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:45:25Speaker 02

  And I come on, I face the lashing.

• 1:45:27Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:45:27Speaker 02

  I never hide. I'm always depressed.

• 1:45:30Speaker 00

  It was a very commendable performance.

• 1:45:31Speaker 02

  And whoever posted it, the day they got engaged, which I never would come at them with that.

• 1:45:36Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:45:36Speaker 02

  The day they got engaged, it looked like I was that mad at them for getting married.

• 1:45:41Speaker 00

  Me.

• 1:45:42Speaker 02

  I wasn't, I was celebrating them at that point. And now, I think, I now, now I've become an enemy of the, which I'm a, now look, again, am I mad at the Kelsey brothers for coming into podcasting? Of course.

• 1:45:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:45:55Speaker 02

  As we've said, this is for the rats.

• 1:45:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:45:57Speaker 02

  This is the sewer of entertainment. You shouldn't get to be Taylor Swift's husband, uh, handsome athlete, your brother's an all-pro Super Bowl winner, like with a beautiful family. Stay out of podcasting, you cocksuckers. This is for us. But I would never have admonished them at that level on their engagement day. So I don't know if it was memes, it was somebody else, but fuck you memes.

• 1:46:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that was my fault. I remember that. That clip, that clip is so funny.

• 1:46:25Speaker 00

  Uh, yes, we got a bunch of memorabilia. Your aunt, your, your foot is on the Boise State, uh.

• 1:46:29Speaker 02

  Oh, the car, the turf? This is real blue turf in Boise?

• 1:46:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:46:33Speaker 02

  From the fucking Statue of Liberty, proposed to your bitch right after winning?

• 1:46:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:46:37Speaker 02

  Turf?

• 1:46:37Speaker 00

  This is the turf.

• 1:46:38Speaker 02

  Wow. That's awesome. All right.

• 1:46:40Speaker 00

  And we also have a trough from the, from the Bills stadium.

• 1:46:44Speaker 02

  Piss trough?

• 1:46:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. Fully functional. So please use it, sign it.

• 1:46:47Speaker 02

  I will.

• 1:46:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. I've gotten a little bit of a kick on weird memorabilia.

• 1:46:51Speaker 02

  And tell me, fill me in on the ice cream. I know Zach, that's your area of expertise. I love that you guys are creaming up here. What kind of mixes are we using? Do we get into any custards with flavors?

• 1:47:01Speaker 03

  So, uh, Jacob Owen and I do man the ice cream, Big Cat Saucer Ice Cream Machine.

• 1:47:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:47:06Speaker 03

  So we got vanilla chocolate and swirl, two flavors, and then twist. As far as the mix goes, Stavi, we run a 10% milk fat, so it is a custard coming out the pipes.

• 1:47:14Speaker 02

  Hmm, I love, see, I didn't even have to ask for a custard. It already comes standard around here.

• 1:47:19Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 1:47:20Speaker 02

  I love how the fuck you guys get down.

• 1:47:21Speaker 00

  Dude, it's.

• 1:47:22Speaker 02

  This is aspiration.

• 1:47:23Speaker 00

  It's pathetic, but also awesome. Like, I'll, I'll just have three ice cream cones.

• 1:47:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:47:31Speaker 00

  A day.

• 1:47:32Speaker 02

  No, I'm about to hit that, uh, I mean, I'm just gonna take ice cream with Pepto Bismol in a second. You know, when you're like, I just need it.

• 1:47:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:40Speaker 02

  I know my stomach can't handle this, but my man said he's guys working at 10% milk fat.

• 1:47:44Speaker 00

  You gotta have it.

• 1:47:44Speaker 02

  You're telling me I'm not gonna have a cone of custard on my way to the fucking airport?

• 1:47:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:47:48Speaker 02

  Fuck that. syrup like when it comes to squeeze bottle as a topping. They need it sweet and savory.

• 1:47:59Speaker 02

  Give me garlic parm, garlic parm Pepto. It would also be great if we got the.

• 1:48:04Speaker 00

  You, you crush up like Xantac and that's in the, the ranch.

• 1:48:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:09Speaker 00

  They should do it for everything. We should get like a Pepto nicotine patch.

• 1:48:12Speaker 02

  Ooh, I love that.

• 1:48:14Speaker 00

  Walking around, you're like, oh, this is my Pepto.

• 1:48:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't have to shit right now. As long as I have this patch on, I can eat as much chili as I want and no diarrhea.

• 1:48:20Speaker 00

  Can I get some of those nachos with the, uh, the pri- the prilo cheese?

• 1:48:25Speaker 02

  Dude, I've been thinking about this. The, the, the foods that evil companies are going to create to beat Ozempic, Dorito, like, like chips, like the, the chips, the ice creams, the whatever, you know, fast food.

• 1:48:39Speaker 00

  Oh, it's gonna be incredible, dude.

• 1:48:41Speaker 02

  They're gonna taste so good. I can't wait. I can't wait for those. I can't wait for the Ozempic busters.

• 1:48:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. They're in the lab right now.

• 1:48:47Speaker 02

  They're in the lab trying to beat it, make us fatter than ever.

• 1:48:49Speaker 00

  Remember when Cam Newton, like his team, the Panthers gave up a touchdown, he's on the sidelines and he just nods his head?

• 1:48:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:54Speaker 00

  He gets ready. That's what, yeah, that's what.

• 1:48:56Speaker 02

  That's what the food scientist said. Hormel are up to, dude. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:00Speaker 00

  Took that personal.

• 1:49:03Speaker 00

  Okay. Yeah, ice cream machines changed a lot, so it's incredible. And they've done a great job of operating it and keeping it. They know everything about it.

• 1:49:10Speaker 02

  I respect that so much. In a different life, I think I would love to serve with you at the ice cream station.

• 1:49:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:49:16Speaker 03

  Any day you want to pick up a shape style.

• 1:49:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right. What else we got, Zach?

• 1:49:20Speaker 03

  Uh, there was a hot dog rescue mission from the ceiling. Max wanted to catch up a lifetime. That was good.

• 1:49:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, excellent. That was fun.

• 1:49:25Speaker 00

  Excellent. We got a hot dog stuck in the ceiling.

• 1:49:28Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:49:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's pretty much all you need to know.

• 1:49:31Speaker 02

  And how did that happen?

• 1:49:32Speaker 00

  Uh, it was like a tennis racket. Someone.

• 1:49:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:49:36Speaker 03

  KB took a free throw, landed on a tennis racket, launched a hot dog into the air ducts.

• 1:49:40Speaker 02

  That's pretty sick.

• 1:49:41Speaker 00

  It stopped the office for an entire day trying to get this hot dog out of the ceiling.

• 1:49:47Speaker 02

  The air was fucking, was flavored.

• 1:49:49Speaker 00

  We're basically running Scooby Doo episodes here.

• 1:49:53Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 1:49:53Speaker 00

  The Breaking Bad episode with the fly. Yeah.

• 1:49:55Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:49:57Speaker 00

  The hot dog.

• 1:49:57Speaker 02

  Following the hot dog. Give me your top three, Zach. Give me, give me the last, the final, the best three remaining.

• 1:50:04Speaker 03

  Best remaining, uh, Max got married again. We, Barstool started Call of Duty team and, uh.

• 1:50:11Speaker 02

  A little biased there on your behalf. Seems like you care about that way more than most people.

• 1:50:15Speaker 03

  That might've been niche. That might've been a little niche.

• 1:50:17Speaker 02

  In the top three, that you and your friends started playing Call of Duty together.

• 1:50:23Speaker 02

  But it's nice. You've, you got, you, you have your heart on your sleeve.

• 1:50:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:50:27Speaker 03

  And, uh, Big MPT wrote a book and then rewrote a book and then the book came out and then it's number one.

• 1:50:34Speaker 02

  Respect.

• 1:50:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:50:36Speaker 02

  I love that. That's a beautiful, yeah, that's, that's about right. To me, I was like, we got Zach, we got to, you know, that, he's been, he's been a lightning rod. Really, really stirred it up. It's, it's like when they add a cute little kid to a failing sitcom 10 years in, but it actually works. You know what I mean? Like, he's Poochie from, from The Simpsons, but if it was awesome, if Poochie was awesome.

• 1:50:57Speaker 00

  Depth to him.

• 1:50:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:50:58Speaker 00

  I also liked that Zach just summarized our entire year. And if you're like, hey, can you actually just make that one line? It's like, we eat a lot of ice cream. That's all that we've done.

• 1:51:07Speaker 02

  That's beautiful. That was the most impassioned one, and that's the one I cared about the most as well. That, and again, Hank and as a result, all of Boston's misery has been awesome.

• 1:51:16Speaker 00

  Left, yeah.

• 1:51:17Speaker 02

  Has been awesome to watch, yeah.

• 1:51:18Speaker 00

  Okay, so what's your update for Zach?

• 1:51:19Speaker 02

  So I actually have just been, I, I'm getting to check in with all my friends I haven't seen in a while. I was just in the Bad Friends studio. And there's a palpable energy buzzing throughout the whole place.

• 1:51:29Speaker 00

  Just started chugging water. So nervous.

• 1:51:32Speaker 02

  I just, you know, I don't know if you guys know what's going on, but it felt, I wasn't privy to what was going on. Everyone was kind of whispering, but it, some, it felt like love was in the air.

• 1:51:42Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:51:43Speaker 02

  If I was over there, it was me, Bobby, me, Bobby Santino, all the production staff, and they were kind of discussing, a member of the crew was really excited about something. But I couldn't really pick up, does that, is that like, um, does that kind of jive with anything you guys know? Cause I know, wasn't Santino in here recently?

• 1:52:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, we were talking about it the other day with Zach and I, Zach, you watch the show all the time. He's a big fan.

• 1:52:07Speaker 02

  This comes out next, so I recorded it la- like a couple of days ago. It will come out after this.

• 1:52:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:12Speaker 02

  But we didn't talk about it on air. It was more, see, that's the thing, it wasn't about, it didn't feel like it was about.

• 1:52:16Speaker 00

  It's not for content.

• 1:52:17Speaker 02

  Content. It felt like deeper than that.

• 1:52:19Speaker 00

  We'll cut all this.

• 1:52:20Speaker 02

  We can cut all of this, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying something was going on there. I would make a trip, if I was a member of this, of this crew, I would maybe start looking at Airbnbs in Los Angeles. That's all I'm saying. Maybe take a trip. Do you guys have anything you need somebody to cover in LA?

• 1:52:36Speaker 00

  We can figure out something. Definitely. Um, I was just thinking about the Chargers.

• 1:52:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, right. The Chargers. Check out SoFi.

• 1:52:44Speaker 00

  Oh, let's, you know what?

• 1:52:45Speaker 02

  Bolt up.

• 1:52:46Speaker 00

  Maybe go, uh, let's get boots on the ground for this Clippers situation.

• 1:52:49Speaker 02

  Oh, we need some investigative, Pablo Torre who, Zach?

• 1:52:54Speaker 00

  Zach's gonna find out. Yeah, Zach, I need you to go out there and come back with a report that says everything is fine. And the Clippers, the Clippers did nothing wrong.

• 1:53:01Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 1:53:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do think I would love to see, and listen, you're reporting, you might get hungry, you know? You might need to, to grab something to eat and I'm scared. This kid is a sweet kid. I wouldn't trust him in the big city of LA alone. You might need a chaperone. You might need somebody who, we'll check with Santino or Bobby Lee, and if they're busy, maybe they know somebody.

• 1:53:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cause I think all you were saying before, the only people you know in LA that could possibly help Zach, it's like Andrew, Bobby, and then whoever they know.

• 1:53:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know anybody else in LA.

• 1:53:34Speaker 00

  And they're busy guys.

• 1:53:35Speaker 02

  They're busy, so it's probably not gonna be them, but I'm sure they have like, I don't know, someone who's like somewhere between a family member and a staff employee, which just seems like a weird type of person.

• 1:53:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:53:47Speaker 02

  But I'm sure one of them has someone that's sort of like a niece and an assistant or something at the same time. So, yeah, I don't know. Again, I'm just speculating. I'm just spitballing, but it feels like to me, let's start with, Zach needs to do a little investigative reporting in LA.

• 1:54:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:54:03Speaker 02

  He needs to put on his fucking, his Sherlock Holmes hat and fi- go find us Uncle Dennis.

• 1:54:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:54:08Speaker 02

  Go find us the locations of Uncle Dennis, Zach.

• 1:54:11Speaker 03

  Put these boots on the ground, boys.

• 1:54:13Speaker 00

  You're ready to go. Zach, dude, Zach's got a girlfriend now.

• 1:54:17Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:54:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, her name's Rudy on Bad Friends.

• 1:54:20Speaker 02

  Oh, that makes so much sense. All right. That's beautiful, man. Yeah, it was buzzing. The energy was real.

• 1:54:27Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 1:54:28Speaker 03

  We're just a couple of guys speculating right now, you know?

• 1:54:29Speaker 02

  Just a couple of guys speculating. I'm just, I'm reporting to you what I felt in the room.

• 1:54:34Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:54:34Speaker 02

  At Bad Friends studio. I was just there.

• 1:54:36Speaker 00

  And I'm sure you could report what you feel in the room right now back to them as well.

• 1:54:39Speaker 02

  I could. Through the glass, it's palpable. I'm actually smelling Zach's pheromones through the glass.

• 1:54:44Speaker 03

  That's sweat.

• 1:54:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I'm picking it up. That's exactly right. Yeah, but Zach, that's what, if a woman were to smell this, watch out. All I'm saying is, you'd have to hose this fucking pleather couch down.

• 1:54:58Speaker 02

  If I were of the female persuasion right now, I'm smelling what I'm smelling coming, coming through the Plexiglas. Oh, boy. Meem's gonna have to burn that hoodie. His fucking girlfriend's gonna ovulate as soon as she smells it. She smells Zach's fucking pheromones.

• 1:55:12Speaker 00

  Zach, you got this, man. Zach, would you be interested in that?

• 1:55:16Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I'm, I'm willing to cover any story for the show.

• 1:55:19Speaker 02

  What a good guy. What a good guy.

• 1:55:21Speaker 00

  I love that. Um, all right, Zach, do you have a question for, for Stavi? Roback.com, R H O B A C K dot com, promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase, Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts at roback.com, promo code TAKE.

• 1:55:32Speaker 03

  So you mentioned a little earlier in the show that you do have a special coming on Netflix soon. How do you go, what's the back and forth when it comes to like, maybe companies being like, you can't, have they tried to tell you not to put anything in? And how does that discourse go? What leg, like where do you draw the line on like, no, I gotta still be me and then still kind of cooperate with what's going on?

• 1:55:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure. I, I don't think that's happening at all anymore. I think like that's a completely overdone. In fact, like clearly, I mean, Netflix has bought into, like I said, you, like, they've come to the internet. Like, they, they, they put Kill Tony specials on Netflix now, right? Like, there's no, I think the idea that cancel culture exists at all is completely fake. I think like the most successful people say kind of fucked up stuff. And I'll just say in my personal, like, working with Netflix, they've been like shockingly cool. Like, there have been stuff where I'm like, here we go, they're gonna fight me on, you know, this joke where I said a public assassination was good, for example, uh, and they didn't, you know what I mean?

• 1:56:34Speaker 02

  Like, and they've been, they've watched it at every, like, level, and they've been actually so fucking cool to work with. Um, and so, yeah, I would say in general, Zach, I think that stuff's way overblown and I think most of it was just complaining, to be honest. And we're like, look at the people who've complained about that. They also happen to have hundreds of millions of dollars.

• 1:56:53Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:56:54Speaker 02

  For the most part.

• 1:56:55Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:56:55Speaker 02

  And now, of course, a lot of shitty comedians who want to say slurs can't do it.

• 1:57:00Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:57:00Speaker 02

  But that's because they're bad at comedy and, or don't have a fanbase or whatever. So, and not that I'm saying that's, that's what I want to do, but I do like, I could say pretty much, they've kind of let me get away with anything. And I think like, if anything, what's been harder is the, it's kind of flipped. Where now the internet, I don't know if you guys feel this, I feel more censored, like YouTube and Instagram, now they're trying to become cable TV.

• 1:57:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:57:22Speaker 02

  You can't say fuck. You can't say shit. You can't show tits bobbling. You can't show simulated cock get hard. These are all problems I had during a recent Mission Impossible spoof trailer that I posted, uh, where, where I was breaking into the CIA because the government had made it illegal to look at titties. And so I did a spoof. I spent a lot of money on like a Mission Impossible spoof, which makes no sense. It doesn't, you can't even tell it's a stand-up. I realized, I was like, wait, we don't make it clear this is for stand-up.

• 1:57:48Speaker 00

  What are we selling now?

• 1:57:50Speaker 02

  I just spent like $20,000 making a video for fun. Anyway, I lo- I love Mission Impossible so much, but I do think like, censorship has gotten kind of weird from like the internet and algorithms now are kind of controlling us. And I prefer, to your question where it was like, someone you could talk to, because you could have a conversation, but now all these tech dickheads are like, oh, it's the algorithm, but you just fucking made the algorithm and you're too much of a coward to answer for it. So that's, that's my, uh, roundabout answer there, Zach.

• 1:58:19Speaker 00

  Uh, Zach's question reminded me of something. Growing up, we had like iconic stand-up specials.

• 1:58:25Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:58:26Speaker 00

  That, that like stand out in the canon of like stand-up comedy.

• 1:58:28Speaker 02

  Bigger and blacker, you know what I mean? Like Dave Chappelle's first two specials, Louis' hilarious, all that kind of stuff.

• 1:58:33Speaker 00

  Right, so.

• 1:58:34Speaker 02

  Chewed up.

• 1:58:34Speaker 00

  Since then.

• 1:58:35Speaker 02

  Elephant in the room. Anyway, keep going.

• 1:58:36Speaker 00

  I would say like the, are there, is there anything in the last like 15, 20 years that we can say like, this is a legendary stand-up special? Or is it, it might just be that we're too, too close to it that we won't know for a while, but like.

• 1:58:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:58:48Speaker 00

  I was just thinking, is, are there any iconic stand-up specials that stick out?

• 1:58:52Speaker 02

  That's a, that's a fucking great question. I, I do think unfortunately, like, it's lost a little of its, of its like mystique.

• 1:59:00Speaker 00

  Now, by the way.

• 1:59:01Speaker 02

  Until now. Uncle Stav's bringing it back. I mean dude, honestly, I, I hired a real, I got an actual film director to do it. Like, we shot it the lyric, which is a, uh, it's a 2,500 seater. So it's this beautiful, expensive. Like, I spent a lot of fu- and I broke my arm and had to postpone it. So I had to like, pay for certain shit twice. So I am trying hard to do a, cause I love those classic stand up specials. But sometimes I do worry that it's just moved, culture has just moved on.

• 1:59:27Speaker 00

  It's the monoculture isn't there anymore. Where it's like, you can't be like, everyone has seen this thing.

• 1:59:31Speaker 02

  Totally, totally. There's no like appointment viewing anymore. There's no like Eddie Murphy's Raw. There's no Richard Pryor specials. There's no, I mean, even like we were saying, Chris Rock, like, like Chappelle. And I think when Chappelle first came back, he had the attention.

• 1:59:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:59:46Speaker 02

  And those were very talked about, but I do think they were good. His first specials back were good. But I don't think they exactly matched the absolute legendary stuff he did, you know, uh, in DC, you know, you know, coming up or whatever. Um, and, and I think, I think that was the last time people were paying attention to that level was Chappelle when he first came back. But that's a, I don't think so, PFT, cause I think the way people take in comedy now is just so, there's just, specials were special because you never saw stand up. You like maybe saw it live.

• 2:00:18Speaker 00

  Right.

• 2:00:18Speaker 02

  But there was no fucking TikToks. There was no, you didn't hear fucking dickheads like me talking eight hours a week.

• 2:00:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:00:25Speaker 02

  For free. So it just, it was like, if everything we do between clips, specials, YouTube, podcasts was all in one release over, that happened every four years. It makes sense why people gave more of a fuck. Like, it does make me sad that, I think a lot of people are just gonna watch my special the way they watch like this podcast.

• 2:00:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:00:46Speaker 02

  It'll be on their phone between shit. Whereas, you know, I would like for there to be a separation between a special and day to day stuff, but you also just have to be real. That's just not how people take in media now.

• 2:00:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, it's true. There is, there's, like putting out a podcast three times a week. I'm like, oh yeah, people are just watching it and then it's just gone forever. And you don't want that to happen for something that is, you know, a lot more work was put into a special than just doing like, hey, this is just Wednesday in the middle of August.

• 2:01:14Speaker 02

  Totally, totally. But you know, whatever, man. If people enjoy it, it's funny. And it's sometimes we just have to do it for us.

• 2:01:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:20Speaker 02

  Right? Like even that Mission Impossible thing, it's like, it didn't make sense, but you know what? The way you motherfuckers get to buy an ice cream machine, it's like, how about I use some of the Netflix budget to pretend I'm Tom Cruise?

• 2:01:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:30Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 2:01:30Speaker 00

  Fuck yeah.

• 2:01:31Speaker 02

  That's just fun to do.

• 2:01:32Speaker 00

  Why not?

• 2:01:33Speaker 02

  Why not? If you're gonna make it and be a dumbass, do dumb shit. So the dumbasses that didn't make it could be like, at least somebody's doing it like me.

• 2:01:42Speaker 00

  Spend your money on the dumbest shit.

• 2:01:43Speaker 02

  Investing is.

• 2:01:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:01:44Speaker 02

  I went into a harness with a bad back because I wanted to pretend I was Ethan Hunt.

• 2:01:48Speaker 00

  Right. Yeah. Sometimes I find myself, I do stuff just because 13 year old me would have wanted me to spend the money. I bought a double neck guitar.

• 2:01:57Speaker 02

  Yes, dude.

• 2:01:58Speaker 00

  When I was 13, this would kick ass.

• 2:02:00Speaker 02

  Shredding dude. Is it a V?

• 2:02:01Speaker 00

  No, it's not the Flying V. I thought about that. It's the SG double.

• 2:02:05Speaker 02

  Love that. That's beautiful.

• 2:02:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. But got an El Camino because when I was 13, I was like, that's the car. Sometimes it's good, it's good for your mentals. No, and it's also like, we, I mean, let's not be, be realistic here. Like, all three of us have been successful and made Right. money that we never imagined to make. What would, like, would you want me to talk about like, oh yeah, I put, I invested my money and now it's making money? Or be like, hey, he bought a trough from the Bill's.

• 2:02:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:28Speaker 00

  That he pisses in now.

• 2:02:29Speaker 02

  By the way, I'd like to say for the record, I have never invested anything. I just have a bunch of money.

• 2:02:35Speaker 00

  Do you just have a?

• 2:02:36Speaker 02

  I just have a bunch of money and I buy dumb shit.

• 2:02:38Speaker 00

  Savings account?

• 2:02:38Speaker 02

  I have a savings account.

• 2:02:39Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:02:40Speaker 02

  Recently I got two or three different bank accounts. It always to be in like one checking account. Until so recently.

• 2:02:47Speaker 00

  Is it high interest at least? You got?

• 2:02:49Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 2:02:50Speaker 00

  That sounds like maybe not.

• 2:02:52Speaker 02

  Whatever, man. Who gives a fuck? I think it's nice to not know what to do with money.

• 2:02:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. It does give you a, like, great, if you ever get caught, like, or like in trouble with the IRS, be like, listen, I really just put my money there. Yeah. That's all, it stayed there.

• 2:03:06Speaker 02

  It's all, it's all my, all my money is tied up in, uh, Dave and Buster's gift cards right now. I, Uncle Sam ain't gotta know about those.

• 2:03:15Speaker 00

  All right, last thing. So everyone, please do watch.

• 2:03:17Speaker 02

  Please watch the special.

• 2:03:19Speaker 00

  Out Tuesday, September 8th. Uh, prediction for the Ravens season.

• 2:03:25Speaker 00

  You know what? Give us,

• 2:03:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:03:27Speaker 00

  Obviously Superbowl.

• 2:03:28Speaker 02

  We're in the Superbowl. Of course we're in the Superbowl.

• 2:03:30Speaker 00

  No, but let's go realistic, uh, I'm not gonna hold you to it. Like, it's, it's.

• 2:03:35Speaker 02

  I think we get 11 wins.

• 2:03:37Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:03:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I think we're winning the Superbowl.

• 2:03:40Speaker 00

  Oh, you are?

• 2:03:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:03:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:03:41Speaker 02

  What the fuck? You don't think you're winning the Superbowl?

• 2:03:43Speaker 00

  No, I think the, I don't know, the Bears defense sucks.

• 2:03:47Speaker 02

  Stop it. If you at this moment, right before the season, don't think your team is winning the Superbowl, you're a fucking piece of shit. This is the moment where.

• 2:03:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know. I just.

• 2:03:55Speaker 02

  Hope springs eternal.

• 2:03:56Speaker 00

  But don't you also like? Yeah, I actually do think we're winning the Superbowl. We're just gonna have to score 70 points.

• 2:04:00Speaker 02

  Well, you're not because you suck, but we will because we're awesome. So, but that's how everyone should think.

• 2:04:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:04:05Speaker 02

  And right now, of course it's fucking awesome. We, uh, we, I do think Minter's gonna be fucking great. I do think like, you know, uh, just give us, give Lamar another shot. He's so good. To me, it's always like he's cool. I've said it a bunch of times. He's cool Peyton Manning to me. Where it's like, he will just keep giving him shots. He's awesome. It's gonna fucking happen. And so.

• 2:04:26Speaker 00

  I think Peyton Manning won his first Superbowl like right around the age of Lamar and Josh Allen right now.

• 2:04:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. I think it's, I think there, I think like, again, Lamar is due. Uh, you don't have to lump him in with inferior talents. Okay. Lamar is the best in the fucking league. And I do think like, we have an, if your team is a contender and you don't think at this, this date, right now, early September, you're gonna win, why even fucking watch?

• 2:04:50Speaker 00

  No, I, I think.

• 2:04:51Speaker 02

  Why even watch football?

• 2:04:52Speaker 00

  I, I, I think, I actually thought the Bears were gonna win the Superbowl before free agency and then we didn't do anything for the defensive line. And I was like, well, fuck, that didn't get better.

• 2:05:00Speaker 02

  That's true. That sucks.

• 2:05:01Speaker 00

  Would you rather that, uh, Patrick Mahomes wins another Superbowl or Josh Allen gets one? Oh, good question.

• 2:05:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not a hater, Josh Allen. Absolutely. I think like, first of all, Buffalo, I respect that fan base. I think Josh Allen's awesome. But I do think, and again, it's a team game. That's the other thing. It's like, everybody gets on these quarterbacks, but, you know, uh, our def- is our defense, did our defense, has our defense historically done that well for Lamar? Not really. He gets all the, in the playoffs, he get, you know, everyone shits on him. And absolutely he's made a couple of mistakes here and there, but, you know, I, I could see, I'd be happy for Josh if it happened. If it's not us, I'd be happy for the Bills.

• 2:05:37Speaker 00

  That's, I, I appreciate that answer. I'm just saying the danger that you run into is, the previous generation had their Dan Marino. That now everybody says like, Dan Marino, and everyone instantly thinks, they don't think about how awesome he was. It's just like, oh yeah, he, he never won anything.

• 2:05:52Speaker 02

  But they do, but it does go hand in hand with how awesome he is.

• 2:05:55Speaker 00

  It does. That's, that's true. But now, like Lamar and Josh are both kinda protected because they, they both kinda had, have had their hopes and dreams killed by the big bad wolf.

• 2:06:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:06:05Speaker 00

  Patrick Mahomes. Then if there's just one of those guys left, then that's the guy that really kinda has to wear that.

• 2:06:11Speaker 02

  But it's a long, it's Lamar's whole career. We have a long time. You can't let yourself, I'm not gonna let my life be dictated by fucking Stephen A. Smith style narratives. You know what I mean? Like,

• 2:06:22Speaker 00

  Smart.

• 2:06:23Speaker 02

  The, the, like Lamar is so fucking awesome. He will win, but if he doesn't win, I, like, he has given me, I, Lamar is right now giving my life more enjoyment than a Superbowl winning quarterback has given other teams, right? I have had more positive moments overall, and I will in my life than, you know, even one great Superbowl run that comes out of nowhere. Like the Nick Foles Superbowl run, for example. Nick Foles, yeah, that was an insane thing and fuck the Patriots. That was awesome. It will live on forever, but more over time, Lamar has given me more joy than he, than Nick Foles has given Philadelphia Eagles fans. Truly. I, I really believe that. And we have to stop being rings only. That is not me getting ahead of him never winning. He is gonna win. I'm, I'm telling that to you guys.

• 2:07:06Speaker 02

  I'm telling that to you guys, because these are the kinds of things you're gonna have to.

• 2:07:09Speaker 00

  No, we, I agree with what you're saying. I always say that you gotta, the, the, the ride. If you can't enjoy the ride.

• 2:07:15Speaker 02

  It's the honesty.

• 2:07:16Speaker 00

  What's the point?

• 2:07:17Speaker 02

  It's getting your dick sucked by Calypso.

• 2:07:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:19Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? I've been getting my dick sucked by Calypso a lot.

• 2:07:21Speaker 00

  You've been eating Lotus.

• 2:07:22Speaker 02

  I've been eating Lotus. That's fine. Lotus is awesome. I don't fucking need to get home. Not everybody gets home.

• 2:07:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:28Speaker 02

  Robert Pattinson might fuck my wife. I don't care. I'm having Lotus and eating fuck and getting pussy from Calypso.

• 2:07:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. But no, the moments. It's like the, the, the Bears beat the Packers in, in, in the playoffs last year. I was at the game. I floated out of that stadium and like all of like, for, you know, first time, act like you've been there. It's like, no dude, this is, you have to celebrate.

• 2:07:47Speaker 02

  Fuck that.

• 2:07:47Speaker 00

  These moments.

• 2:07:48Speaker 02

  I haven't been there before. Like, that's the thing. I don't wanna act like, why the fuck should I have decorum as a fan?

• 2:07:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:07:54Speaker 02

  I'm here, I'm fucked up. I've eaten, I've eaten 40 Buffalo wings. I'm making my, everyone in my life around me is mad at me. I'm gonna enjoy this Sunday.

• 2:08:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:08:02Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, what the fuck?

• 2:08:04Speaker 00

  Your description of like what is failure and what, that's pretty much, that's what Giannis said. You remember that?

• 2:08:08Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 2:08:09Speaker 00

  Well, he was a pussy for that.

• 2:08:10Speaker 02

  No, he wasn't. Fuck you. Shut the fuck up. God, I'm glad the Bulls will never be good again, you fucking asshole.

• 2:08:16Speaker 00

  Never, ever. It was like, some, sometimes it's good to, to lose and not win.

• 2:08:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:08:20Speaker 00

  Giannis.

• 2:08:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. A little more interesting. Is a champion, is a fucking finals MVP, had one of the most incredible ceiling performances and plays in NBA history. And conquered his demons. How many fucking free throws did he hit on that clinching game? So I don't hear a fucking bad word about Giannis Antetokounmpo. Thank you very much. But I also think.

• 2:08:38Speaker 00

  Also throws his poop toilet, toilet paper in the trash can.

• 2:08:41Speaker 02

  I, I got a hunch, I got a hunch the places in Athens that Giannis is, they got real plumbing. I got a hunch, he's, he's graduated to real plumbing. There's a couple of buildings that they tell, they don't tell most people about. Giannis knows about it.

• 2:08:54Speaker 00

  I don't think that body is equipped. Like, there's no trash can in Greece that can, that can handle that. Yeah. They'd be like, people would be like, uh, robbing it, like the, the Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift trash outside of the rest of the team. Grabbing Giannis' poop toilet paper.

• 2:09:08Speaker 02

  They're like, oh fuck, Andrew Santino's napkin. This sucks.

• 2:09:13Speaker 00

  Oh man. Uh, all right. Stavi, you're the best. Always great catching up with you, man.

• 2:09:17Speaker 02

  I know.

• 2:09:18Speaker 00

  We love having you, you on and.

• 2:09:19Speaker 02

  Come back, come to, come to Stavi's or come to the new studio when that's in New York. Please hit me up.

• 2:09:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's go.

• 2:09:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude. Hell yeah. Thank you, boys.

• 2:09:26Speaker 00

  You're the best.

• 2:09:27Speaker 02

  Uncle Stav on Netflix, September 8th. Davi was brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy. It's the heartbeat of America. It's the heartbeat. Today is Chevrolet. Chevy's always been called the heartbeat of America. The Silverado keeps that heartbeat going strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder. That's getting out of town, going to the lake, or just not turning around when you probably should. Chevy's got the capability, the space, and the muscle, everything you need for a proper summer. Coolers, gear, whatever your version of chill looks like, because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. Let's be honest. You've earned this summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll those windows down, turn the music up, and just listen. It's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet.

• 2:10:12Speaker 02

  Head over to chevy.com, learn more today. And before we get to Fire Fest of the Week, it's brought to you by Pepsi. Football's back. No game day spread is complete without the great taste of Pepsi Zero Sugar. You spend all week thinking about the wings, the nachos, the burgers that you're gonna eat. Are you pairing it with the right drink? If you're not drinking it, if you're not drinking a Pepsi with all those tasty football foods, you're doing it wrong. It makes every food better. Pepsi Zero Sugar has a bold, refreshing taste. It doesn't just complement your favorite tailgate foods. It makes the whole experience and every bite hit a little bit better. It's like watching your quarterback escape three sacks to find a man in the back of the end zone. It's like watching your rival miss a chip shot field goal to lose a big game. Grab Pepsi Zero Sugar to elevate your game day.

• 2:10:56Speaker 02

  Tailgating deserves Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Now it's time for Fire Fest of the Week.

• 2:11:01Speaker 00

  Okay, let's wrap up. We've got Fyre Fest of the Week and we also have Breaking Mousse.

• 2:11:11Speaker 02

  Zach brought up the Sydney Sweeney dress during Breaking Mousse.

• 2:11:14Speaker 00

  Breaking Mousse.

• 2:11:16Speaker 02

  A lot of milk thoughts.

• 2:11:17Speaker 00

  Breaking Mousse. Henry Lockwood, in a clean sweep, has defeated Zach in the Mount Rushmore duel. Hank, congratulations. There will be no punishment for you. Zach, there will be a punishment for you. We still haven't decided it. I actually was thinking about it, PFT. And this is, Hank, I would have done the same punishment for you. I think Zach should have to fly to a city and take a random girl out on a date.

• 2:11:45Speaker 02

  That sounds, yeah, maybe like a, what city's been in the news a lot today?

• 2:11:50Speaker 00

  Oh, the Clippers. So where they play? LA?

• 2:11:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:11:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I deserved to get punished. It was a bad showing today. Hank absolutely boat raced me.

• 2:11:59Speaker 00

  Dude, that was so bad. Was it, what were the actual final?

• 2:12:03Speaker 02

  Clean sweep.

• 2:12:03Speaker 00

  I thought maybe you had.

• 2:12:04Speaker 03

  I thought names.

• 2:12:05Speaker 00

  Names. I thought names you had a chance.

• 2:12:06Speaker 02

  The Muhammad crew didn't show up.

• 2:12:08Speaker 00

  Muhammad crew was not, was not there for you, Zach. Brutal. Uh, in the Mount Rushmore of dumb things you think, Hank won 57%. In the Mount Rushmore of worst lines to wait in, Hank won 79.9%, which that was, we predicted that. And then Mount Rushmore of names, Hank won 68.2%.

• 2:12:33Speaker 02

  Pretty convincing sweep.

• 2:12:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:12:34Speaker 02

  Do you have a?

• 2:12:35Speaker 00

  Oh, Zach.

• 2:12:37Speaker 02

  What?

• 2:12:38Speaker 00

  I didn't, he, that's not how you spell Devante.

• 2:12:43Speaker 00

  You, you approved that spelling.

• 2:12:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm never here, I'm, I probably won't be a guy who tries to get at somebody else's spelling. I just let it roll.

• 2:12:51Speaker 00

  Okay. All right. That might have, that might have cost you a percentage. You still would have lost.

• 2:12:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I still would have got absolutely shit pumped.

• 2:12:58Speaker 00

  Do you remember Zach approved that?

• 2:12:59Speaker 02

  Well, here's the bad part about it is he approved D E V from the guy that does the best A's in the business.

• 2:13:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. You could have maybe gotten an extra point.

• 2:13:08Speaker 02

  Turned down one of Shane's A's.

• 2:13:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. Tiger being on there and still winning by overwhelming majority is very funny.

• 2:13:18Speaker 06

  Feels good. Uh, I do, it does feel bad, you know, because me and Zach were partners this year.

• 2:13:22Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, that's true. That was actually fitting. You guys were the worst team.

• 2:13:26Speaker 06

  But I, if, I'm not gonna do the date, obviously, but if Zach, if the punishment ends up being some type of stream or something, I will, I will commit to half.

• 2:13:32Speaker 02

  All right. I'm, I'm looking at Zach's Mount Rushmore here. It's got right in the middle, Muhammad and Drew. And Zach, nobody's ever drew Muhammad and gotten away with it.

• 2:13:44Speaker 00

  Oh, Zach.

• 2:13:45Speaker 03

  Way to be in the Coliseum today, Hank. You're hell of an opponent.

• 2:13:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:13:50Speaker 02

  Do you have any message out there for, um, either the haters that said Hank couldn't do it? Or maybe the people that have supported Hank throughout the, uh, the last couple of shows?

• 2:14:00Speaker 06

  No, I mean, uh, the, the haters were right. Um, it's, it's become clear to me I'm not great at Mount Rushmore, but we didn't come in last. That's the goal. It's not about coming in first. It's about not coming in last. So we accomplished our goal. And we, now we got time to reboot and get in the lab and, and continue with this momentum going into next year. I'm gonna be the freshest next year.

• 2:14:21Speaker 02

  Why the freshest?

• 2:14:22Speaker 06

  Cause you got, or like, I'm gonna be the most, most, uh.

• 2:14:24Speaker 00

  The opposite of the freshest.

• 2:14:26Speaker 06

  I'm gonna be, you guys are gonna be, I'm gonna be the least rusty.

• 2:14:29Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:14:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:14:29Speaker 00

  But you're not gonna be fresh.

• 2:14:31Speaker 02

  You're gonna be maybe worn out from the long postseason.

• 2:14:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:14:33Speaker 06

  No, least rusty.

• 2:14:34Speaker 00

  Like you had, I, I've been, I've been taking care of my body for three weeks now. And you, you're just getting to the offseason.

• 2:14:42Speaker 06

  Right. So I'll be, I'll be tuned up, ready to go.

• 2:14:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't think that's.

• 2:14:45Speaker 06

  It's gonna take you a few Mount Rushmore's to get, to get warmed up.

• 2:14:47Speaker 00

  Got it. Got it.

• 2:14:50Speaker 00

  We'll come up with something, some different shit for next year. We gotta.

• 2:14:53Speaker 02

  I had a couple of ideas today.

• 2:14:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. I also got a bunch of like really good submissions today when I asked online. So, well, Zach, maybe farm the, my mentions for that.

• 2:15:03Speaker 03

  I can do that. Yes, sir.

• 2:15:04Speaker 00

  There's a lot that we can save for next year. Wanted to do the Mount Rushmore tricks, but I think that would have been tough for you guys off, off the top of your head.

• 2:15:12Speaker 02

  Uh, when you go to a massage place by, I might be on there.

• 2:15:18Speaker 03

  Absolute okey doke.

• 2:15:20Speaker 06

  1080.

• 2:15:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Statue of Liberty.

• 2:15:25Speaker 02

  Got your nose?

• 2:15:26Speaker 00

  Fumble, fumble Ruski?

• 2:15:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:15:28Speaker 00

  Got your nose is a good one.

• 2:15:30Speaker 02

  Rabbit out of a hat.

• 2:15:31Speaker 00

  Yeah. O's?

• 2:15:33Speaker 02

  Flea flicker.

• 2:15:34Speaker 00

  O's just in general?

• 2:15:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:15:36Speaker 03

  You got something on your shirt?

• 2:15:37Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 2:15:38Speaker 02

  I must fell for that right now. That was a good one. Shoes untied.

• 2:15:42Speaker 00

  Uh, Hank, your Fyre Fest.

• 2:15:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, this is a, uh, Wednesday. We talked about the grudge match. I put Big Cat, uh, Whitney and Dave on my hot seat. Three versus three scramble.

• 2:15:56Speaker 00

  You're pretty confident.

• 2:15:58Speaker 06

  I was confident. I was, I was, I was trying to just drum up, you know, drumming up. Obviously, I was, I was confident, but like I was, I was just trying to, I was trying to, you know, promote the grudge, because there wasn't really a grudge otherwise.

• 2:16:09Speaker 00

  No, it was very weird to have a grudge match against two of my best friends.

• 2:16:12Speaker 02

  Speak for yourself.

• 2:16:12Speaker 06

  Yeah. So I was, I was just trying to, you know, get, get some, get some chatter going, get some, get some, some tension rising, thinking it was gonna be a close match. I switched to lefty thinking, and, and this was like the perfect time. Like I was like, by the time, you know, end of the summer, like I should be in a good spot. Lefty, that was the goal going into it. Yesterday, I had the chance to prove it. Uh, a chance to get an auto invite to the Invitational next year. And if we lost, I, I'm not in for 10 years. And, and we just got boat raced. I played horrible. It was, it was a bad showing. We missed, I think we missed on five holes. We missed putts that were less than 10 feet.

• 2:16:51Speaker 02

  I think.

• 2:16:52Speaker 06

  All three of us.

• 2:16:53Speaker 02

  I think we missed nine in a row, uh, seven foot putts.

• 2:16:56Speaker 06

  Yeah. So it was, it was, it was bad. Uh, I was in a bad place last night. I've, I've woken up and just realized it's not that serious and, and life moves on, but it was. I was, I was, I was down bad.

• 2:17:08Speaker 00

  You're down bad. You're down really bad. I have a question for you, Hank.

• 2:17:11Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:17:11Speaker 00

  What do you say to the haters that are saying that they were right?

• 2:17:14Speaker 06

  Right about what?

• 2:17:16Speaker 00

  Just you sucking at golf.

• 2:17:20Speaker 00

  I don't, I've seen you play golf. I've seen you play golf. You don't suck.

• 2:17:24Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I, on camera, I'm horrible. That, that's just like, that's, that's, there's four or five years straight of evidence of that, where it's like I play much worse than I can play or have played off camera. That's something I gotta deal with. And I also think it's probably true that I should be better at golf or how much golf I play. I don't even, I, I can't, I wish I could defend that fact. But we've gotten, and, and for, you know, the first few months, I'm like, I just started playing lefty, but like I've now played enough rounds, practiced enough, like I should be, I should have advanced more than I have. So it's like that, that's true. That's just something I gotta, I gotta.

• 2:18:00Speaker 00

  So the haters are right.

• 2:18:01Speaker 06

  You could say, yeah, I don't know.

• 2:18:03Speaker 00

  It's okay. Sometimes it's like, hey, guess what, haters? You got it right.

• 2:18:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:18:07Speaker 02

  But this isn't, the doubters. It's not the end of the story.

• 2:18:09Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:18:10Speaker 06

  It's not the end of the story.

• 2:18:11Speaker 00

  Might be just the beginning.

• 2:18:11Speaker 06

  Motivation. Yeah. Start a championship DVD.

• 2:18:13Speaker 00

  You have 10 years to get good enough to be in the Invitational.

• 2:18:16Speaker 02

  It's the end of one chapter.

• 2:18:17Speaker 00

  Hmm. I still think that we should appeal, uh, Dave's no invite to the Invitational for 10 years. And as a lefty, you're banned, but as a righty, who's to say?

• 2:18:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's a different person.

• 2:18:31Speaker 00

  Right.

• 2:18:32Speaker 06

  But also that, the thing that I realized too, which was like, I, I, based on how I played yesterday, like if I had played in the Invitational and did that, I would be 20, that would be much worse than losing, you know, the grudge match. Uh, and that's what would have happened.

• 2:18:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. In the grudge match, it was very funny because going back and watching it,

• 2:18:51Speaker 02

  only two balls got pulled out of a cup for the entire game. And one was a, a long chip in by Whitney. I think Wit made another putt or somebody made another putt. Maybe it was Dave, uh, but only two times did the ball go into the hole.

• 2:19:04Speaker 02

  The putts that we missed, we should have made.

• 2:19:05Speaker 05

  Made at least two of them. Got to make two out of those three.

• 2:19:09Speaker 00

  The one that you guys all missed the exact same way. That was the, that was where it was like, cause I kept on saying.

• 2:19:15Speaker 05

  Watching it back, it's tricky, tricky pin locations.

• 2:19:17Speaker 00

  Picture tricky pin locations. I, as much as a grudge match, people will uh be shocked to hear this. I, I didn't have any animosity towards the team we were playing. And I kept on saying, when we get to the cart, like Dave kept on saying, hey, the, the match is over, the match is over. I was like, no, no, they're gonna make a putt. They're gonna make a putt. And Dave just kept saying, no, they're not. They suck. And he turned out to be correct on that day.

• 2:19:40Speaker 06

  Letting down Coach Gruden too, is probably the worst part. Like there's no one that you wanna perform for better, like kinda step up in, in a big moment and, and show you can be someone and to just time and time again, not do that. And he's, you know, a lot older than us and we were like relying on him so much. That, that hurt the most. PFT, I've let down before, I let down again. Like Coach Gruden, that, that, that hurts.

• 2:20:04Speaker 05

  It does hurt. And watching, it's very mean that we've just had a replay of all the missed putts cycling this entire time. We've talked about it.

• 2:20:11Speaker 06

  I thought it was one, at one point, I thought it was like the same putt replay. I was like, no, these are different holes.

• 2:20:15Speaker 00

  It was also 135 degrees.

• 2:20:17Speaker 05

  There are a couple of very funny missed putts where the ball, it's going in and then it almost like develops a mind, it puts a juke move on the hole. It goes whoop.

• 2:20:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:20:27Speaker 06

  Uh, shout out to Stream Song though. Unbelievable.

• 2:20:29Speaker 00

  Boneyard.

• 2:20:29Speaker 06

  Unbelievable course. Unbelievable spot. Zach County, Florida.

• 2:20:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. Again, sorry Zach. Probably should have taken you. Literally in your house.

• 2:20:39Speaker 05

  My, uh, my buddy served Hank a beer yesterday and he said, or a drink yesterday and he said, uh, there's nothing behind those eyes.

• 2:20:43Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:20:44Speaker 06

  Oh, that was after. Yeah. That was before we, that was before we got on the flight. Yeah. I was, I was, I was, I was down bad.

• 2:20:50Speaker 05

  Yeah. Bad spot. It's okay. We, we move on. We turn the page.

• 2:20:55Speaker 00

  In the car to the plane, he goes, I got, I gotta reevaluate everything.

• 2:21:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:21:04Speaker 00

  I was like, hey, it's okay. He's like, I have to reevaluate everything.

• 2:21:06Speaker 06

  I, I, I was having a full blown identity crisis because I played bad golf. And then I kinda woke up today. I was like, just chill out.

• 2:21:13Speaker 00

  That was an overreaction.

• 2:21:14Speaker 05

  Played bad golf on camera.

• 2:21:15Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:21:16Speaker 05

  So what? We build.

• 2:21:18Speaker 00

  We all suck. That's the thing.

• 2:21:20Speaker 06

  No, Whitney's so.

• 2:21:21Speaker 00

  Oh no, Whitney's obviously awesome. Whitney's nasty. Yeah.

• 2:21:24Speaker 06

  Hey, Gruden was good too. We just gave him nothing.

• 2:21:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. Fun day though. Grudge match. Can't wait for grudge match 2.0.

• 2:21:31Speaker 06

  I don't think Dave's gonna be involved in grudge match.

• 2:21:33Speaker 05

  No, I think it's called grudge match because now afterwards, we have a grudge. Now we have to settle it.

• 2:21:39Speaker 00

  Yeah. Against the game of golf.

• 2:21:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:21:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:21:42Speaker 05

  We should invent some sort of scoring system where Hank, you don't compete against anybody. You just compete against whatever like the score should be.

• 2:21:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. You like, you log it and try to get better.

• 2:21:51Speaker 05

  Try to beat that. Drudge.

• 2:21:53Speaker 06

  Fine. Tomorrow.

• 2:21:56Speaker 05

  Back. Yeah. You gotta get back on that horse.

• 2:21:58Speaker 00

  One thing about Hank.

• 2:21:59Speaker 05

  You can't be thinking about getting bucked.

• 2:22:01Speaker 00

  One bad, one bad golf outing. It's not gonna stop him from golfing. He's gonna get back on that horse.

• 2:22:07Speaker 06

  Yeah. That's the only way. Only way out is through. I gotta conquer my demons, Batman.

• 2:22:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Okay. Uh, PFT, your fire fest?

• 2:22:14Speaker 05

  Similar. It's basically Hank and I had a shared fire fest this week, which is getting, getting beaten golf on camera. And it's not fun.

• 2:22:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:22:21Speaker 05

  But we, yeah, we, we ran through that. It's uh, it, it was more of a mental game because you just start thinking, you start doing the math and you say, it's not over yet. It's not over yet.

• 2:22:32Speaker 00

  The rules also made it impossible for it to ever end. I think there was one point where we were.

• 2:22:37Speaker 06

  You were up five with six, or up six with five to go. And it wasn't over.

• 2:22:41Speaker 00

  I think we were up, I, I think we were up five with three to go and it wasn't over. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck is happening? We were up seven with four to go at one point and then up five with three to go. I was like, this, we're just never getting out of this.

• 2:22:53Speaker 05

  It quite literally could have been, it would have been the biggest comeback in the history of golf.

• 2:22:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22:57Speaker 05

  Because nobody else has ever been down seven with five holes left. And then pulled that off. Uh, so yeah, it was, you know, missed opportunity. But again, Hank, it's, it's one round of golf. There's always more golf.

• 2:23:09Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:23:10Speaker 00

  Always more.

• 2:23:11Speaker 05

  Always more golf. Uh, but yeah, that's, that's pretty much it. The other fire fest was from last week where um, it was right after we recorded the show. Uh, that I engaged in violence against a coworker and I'd like to apologize to said coworker for that. Um, we moved on as a friend. We shook hands. Uh, but every man has a line that you can't cross. My line is two eggs. If you throw one egg at me, I'll turn the, I'll turn the cheek.

• 2:23:35Speaker 00

  And.

• 2:23:36Speaker 05

  The communist is fine. Like we can talk shit. Yeah. But if you.

• 2:23:40Speaker 06

  So you are?

• 2:23:40Speaker 05

  If you throw one egg at me, I will turn my cheek. If you throw two eggs, I've, I've run out of cheeks to turn.

• 2:23:46Speaker 00

  I also, I, I was uh, so, so we're talking about Camp Barstool, PFT, uh, bodying Rico. Great, great push. I, I went to Saratoga right after and, and Dave asked me, he was like, was that, was that real anger? I said, here's the thing. The camera saw two eggs. What the camera didn't see was three nights of Rico snoring, sleep talking, farting, not saying that like, like we, we disliked him, but it will put, it will push a man to it, to their edge. I said, we're, we're basically like POWs in the, in that cabin with him. By day three, you're like, you're seeing shit and you're, you know, you don't know what's going on.

• 2:24:26Speaker 05

  Rico got fragged. Yeah. No, it was uh, it was more like the egg all over my legs. And so the second egg, I did, there was anger behind it. Yes. But only in those like two seconds. I kinda blacked out. I didn't even think about it as I was running up to him. Some people on, online were like, uh, cheap shot. Because Rico turned his back. I think that you, there's no such thing as a cheap shot if you throw two eggs at somebody and then you turn around.

• 2:24:51Speaker 00

  Coward move by Rico to turn around. That's what other people could say.

• 2:24:54Speaker 05

  I would never say that. Uh, but.

• 2:24:55Speaker 00

  We're riders.

• 2:24:56Speaker 05

  I just, I, I blacked out and then I, I hit the guy and uh, then now we're friends.

• 2:25:01Speaker 00

  Shout out Lugs.

• 2:25:02Speaker 05

  It was a pretty good hit. If I don't, if I do say something. The human body craves contact and I haven't hit a guy like that since I retired from rugby in 2015. It feels good. Yeah. Yeah.

• 2:25:13Speaker 00

  Um, all right. My fire fest kind of related to the grudge match, which uh, you know, listen, it was fun going out there. We love DraftKings. Look, we get paid to go golf with our friends, but the one downside of it was we were gone on Wednesday, got back uh, late Wednesday night. And I missed uh, the pugs winning a championship, which I'm really using this as a vehicle. Memes, Shane, congratulations. Uh, what a night. They not only won a championship, but beat Quack and Balls on the way there. And beat them with a walk off. Fuck yes, boys. I'm so, I, I was getting those texts and I was just like, fuck man, I wish I had been there

• 2:25:55Speaker 00

  because it seemed like the best night. Three games. Memes, wanna say anything? You're, you're barely walking today? Memes doing a little extra limp in front of me to let me know like, hey, you know, like I played three games of softball last night, which he deserves.

• 2:26:07Speaker 05

  Yeah. That's like the fastest I've ran in the championship game like in a while. I left it all out on the field.

• 2:26:14Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 2:26:15Speaker 05

  Thing about memes is he does, memes moves quickly when he has to.

• 2:26:18Speaker 00

  Yeah. Pugs finished, I think.

• 2:26:19Speaker 05

  Memes is like Mr. Miyagi.

• 2:26:21Speaker 00

  14 and three in the uh, in the, in the summer. We had two, two seasons, 14 and three overall.

• 2:26:28Speaker 05

  It's really 14 and two. We had to forfeit the semifinals in the spring because there was a million rainouts and it was during vacation week.

• 2:26:36Speaker 00

  Ah, yeah, that's right.

• 2:26:38Speaker 06

  I think I, I, do you have to start asking about, about Max and Big Cat?

• 2:26:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, sure. I wasn't there.

• 2:26:45Speaker 05

  What should we ask?

• 2:26:46Speaker 06

  Just like, I don't know, you know, look, look at the, look at the salaries, look at everything going into next year. And it's like, is this?

• 2:26:51Speaker 00

  Well, I'm a negative salary because I pay for the, the league, but yeah.

• 2:26:55Speaker 05

  Yeah. So you're saying that like if a, if a really good team, if they won a championship and they had one player that was out and then other players stepped up and like won MVP, then they should then get rid of the player that was out.

• 2:27:11Speaker 00

  Fair.

• 2:27:12Speaker 06

  I'm just, I'm just, do you guys, do you start, have to start asking questions?

• 2:27:16Speaker 00

  It kills me I wasn't there. If I'm not on the team next year, if, if, if I'm not on the team next year, I totally understand.

• 2:27:23Speaker 05

  We're all champions though.

• 2:27:24Speaker 00

  Now, I didn't, I didn't play in any losses this year either.

• 2:27:27Speaker 06

  True.

• 2:27:28Speaker 00

  So I think I probably was like eight and O or something, but yeah, that sucked. That sucked.

• 2:27:33Speaker 06

  It was, I mean, I, I had played in part one of the summer. I didn't play in part two, but I was like, damn, like I, I.

• 2:27:38Speaker 00

  It looked awesome.

• 2:27:39Speaker 06

  Wish I was there. It looked awesome. Three games.

• 2:27:41Speaker 00

  Super hot night. Like the boys battling. Congrats to the pugs. Incredible, incredible season.

• 2:27:47Speaker 06

  Was the celebration like?

• 2:27:48Speaker 00

  Oh man.

• 2:27:50Speaker 05

  Celebration was good. We just did one round because it was, it was super late.

• 2:27:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was like 11 o'clock. You almost passed out in the bar memes.

• 2:27:56Speaker 05

  I did. I was wearing two shirts. It was a hundred degrees.

• 2:27:59Speaker 00

  Jesus memes. You guys, why are you wearing two shirts?

• 2:28:02Speaker 05

  The titties and the, it was the championship shirt. So I had that on over the pug shirt.

• 2:28:07Speaker 00

  That's cool. Maybe a banner?

• 2:28:10Speaker 03

  I feel like you should just, uh, I said this earlier, like get us, get a, just a picture of pug. And hang it in the rafters.

• 2:28:18Speaker 00

  Let's get some rings.

• 2:28:19Speaker 05

  It was three super competitive games though. Won the first game by one. We had an hour break in between, so we got to watch the cock and balls.

• 2:28:29Speaker 05

  First game, we thought we were gonna get smoked. They were all wearing cutoffs. Probably take steroids. Like they, they demolished the team before, one by 20. We end up walking them off. One by one, and then championship game, we ended up run rolling.

• 2:28:43Speaker 00

  Oh, that's the best.

• 2:28:45Speaker 05

  It was like.

• 2:28:45Speaker 00

  It wasn't even a, it was a non-competitive championship game, so you could like really enjoy it?

• 2:28:50Speaker 05

  No, it was super competitive. Until the fourth inning.

• 2:28:53Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, yeah.

• 2:28:53Speaker 05

  Their pitcher hit a grand slam, put it up three. Like they were going nuts. And then bottom of the inning, we hit a grand slam. Then we started going nuts and then we rallied from there.

• 2:29:05Speaker 00

  Fuck yes. Was there a, a celebration on the field? Dog pile?

• 2:29:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, we were just chanting Ricks.

• 2:29:11Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 2:29:12Speaker 05

  The strip club in Chicago. We were promised by our coach Quigs that he would take us there.

• 2:29:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:29:17Speaker 05

  If we won.

• 2:29:18Speaker 00

  I'll pay for it. And did he?

• 2:29:19Speaker 05

  He did not. He said he would just pay for a round.

• 2:29:22Speaker 00

  Shane, how'd you play?

• 2:29:24Speaker 03

  The whole, the whole squad played, played great. The, this is the, probably the oldest I've ever felt is the.

• 2:29:30Speaker 00

  That's the oldest you've ever been.

• 2:29:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, true, but like, I don't, the, my body's no longer meant for the, the triple header and 95 degree heat. It was, I'm really hurting.

• 2:29:43Speaker 00

  Bolt up?

• 2:29:45Speaker 03

  I'm bolting up still.

• 2:29:46Speaker 00

  It sounds like you're less than bolt. That, the, the, the break in between games in that heat, that's like your body shuts down. Yeah.

• 2:29:53Speaker 03

  And then you have to get loose again.

• 2:29:55Speaker 00

  I guess it should be, I, as much as I was like, I had such intense FOMO and, and was sad I wasn't there. I should probably be a little happy because I think there's a 95% chance I would have got an injury, right? As the oldest guy on the team by far, I would have, I think my body would not have been able to handle that.

• 2:30:15Speaker 03

  Probably. There are a lot of injuries.

• 2:30:16Speaker 00

  Cause like when we went to camp, we played three games in a row and I was sore for a week. That wasn't a break and also camp wasn't as like competitive.

• 2:30:26Speaker 03

  In the three games we played, there were probably four hamstring injuries and two other ankle injuries. So you may have dodged a bullet.

• 2:30:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. There's nothing better than getting out there with the boys.

• 2:30:35Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 2:30:35Speaker 00

  Like it's, the injuries suck when you get older, but it's still worth it to get out there and have some fun with the guys.

• 2:30:41Speaker 03

  War wounds.

• 2:30:41Speaker 05

  Yeah. I do wish everyone was there though.

• 2:30:44Speaker 00

  I know.

• 2:30:44Speaker 05

  I felt, I felt bad.

• 2:30:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:30:46Speaker 05

  Texting afterwards.

• 2:30:47Speaker 00

  No, I, I loved it. I was living vicariously through you guys. It's Jack McCarthy's fault.

• 2:30:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:30:53Speaker 00

  He decided to do the grudge match on a Wednesday, knowing we have softball. And like, I think I, I think I got home. After the first game and I was like, I can't show up mid playoffs to like you guys playing. That would be weird. So. Good job. Congrats. Pugs.

• 2:31:11Speaker 03

  Pugs.

• 2:31:12Speaker 00

  I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get it. I'm, I'm gonna get a ring and I'll, I'll put it in my closet and never wear it. Cause like, I don't want someone to see me wearing the ring and be like, oh. How'd the championship game go? Be like, oh, well, grudge match. You don't, you don't understand. You know? I, I still think a banner is the way to go. Yeah. It should be celebrated. We should look back on this. Agreed. Uh, Zach, finish this off.

• 2:31:34Speaker 03

  Uh, my first is weak.

• 2:31:35Speaker 00

  What? Can't say that. You know, he doesn't like that. My bad. He's about to walk out.

• 2:31:41Speaker 03

  It's just, uh.

• 2:31:42Speaker 00

  Zach, you wanna do a happy ending on the show?

• 2:31:44Speaker 03

  I got you. Uh, my first this week is just that I, uh, mentally crumbled in this duel today. And not only the duel, really just as soon as we went 1v1v1. Uh, Mount Rushmore season, uh.

• 2:31:54Speaker 00

  You were so bad, dude.

• 2:31:55Speaker 03

  It was, it is disgusting. If you guys decide that you will have me for next season, I'm gonna, in this off season, I'm gonna have to just get to it.

• 2:32:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, how would you get to it?

• 2:32:06Speaker 03

  Uh, just top fours. Just ripping top fours.

• 2:32:09Speaker 00

  Daily top four, just get the zone. Zach, I, I don't wanna say, I don't wanna throw out any, uh, maybe. Malfeasance that was going on with the polls, but I do think the A W Ls wanted to see a duel and you might not have like retroactively Monday and Wednesday, you might not have had your strongest effort either.

• 2:32:26Speaker 03

  I mean, it was just, oh, I.

• 2:32:27Speaker 00

  Close line.

• 2:32:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. As soon as we hit 1v1v1, mental midget.

• 2:32:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:32:32Speaker 03

  And I, my decisive making powers are not very strong. I had better picks on the list some rounds and I just go, I just. Over and over again, pick a worse or worse is not a word, a bad pick.

• 2:32:43Speaker 00

  It sounds like you almost need like, you need a partner.

• 2:32:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:32:45Speaker 00

  To help you with these things. I think next year, we, we at least have like decent idea of teams. Like if we wanted, if we did teams right now that were fair, it would probably be you and Max. Zach and Max, probably PFT and memes and me and Hank, and that would be fair. So we, we can at least start from a fair point.

• 2:33:03Speaker 03

  I'm worried I still have bad picks in me. I would think I may go home this weekend and just dump them all out. Just, just brainstorm all the bad picks out.

• 2:33:09Speaker 00

  Can you tweet those please? So don't tweet what the Rushmore is.

• 2:33:14Speaker 03

  Just the picks.

• 2:33:14Speaker 00

  Just tweet all your bad picks.

• 2:33:16Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 2:33:16Speaker 00

  With no context.

• 2:33:18Speaker 03

  I gotta get them out of me.

• 2:33:19Speaker 00

  Just a whole list of all your bad picks, no context to what they go to. And we'll guess. Actually, you know what? Let's do this on, to, on Monday, on Tuesday's show. I, I actually think it'd be funny if like people sent you the Mount Rushmore's that they want you to do and you do just custom Mount Rushmore's for people. Publicly and show how bad your picks can be like rapid fire ones. But I want, I want, so, uh, by the way, I think everyone knows we've been doing this schedule forever, but two, next week, there's a show Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. Cause we have Memorial Day. We're gonna do a lot of college or Labor Day. We do a lot of college football on Tuesday, Wednesday, we'll get ready for NFL. Friday, regular NFL preview for week one. Zach, so do what PFT said, but also.

• 2:34:01Speaker 00

  Before you have people, cause that will happen on Friday when people will hear this, before Friday, I want you to make a list of all your bad picks. And then on Monday, when we tape on Monday night, you'll read us the bad picks. We'll have to guess where they go to, what Mount Rushmore they go to.

• 2:34:17Speaker 03

  And these picks are in the future, so it could be good picks.

• 2:34:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:34:20Speaker 03

  Probably not. I'll just start out there, you know?

• 2:34:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, just put, make a list of like 30 picks and we'll decide what the Mount Rushmore is.

• 2:34:28Speaker 03

  Okay. So for one, do 30.

• 2:34:29Speaker 00

  Like, give us one bad pick right now.

• 2:34:34Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, elephantitis.

• 2:34:36Speaker 00

  Okay. Uh, Mount Rushmore of, uh, things that you don't wanna get.

• 2:34:40Speaker 03

  Yes. Pick though, right?

• 2:34:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:34:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. Kind of.

• 2:34:44Speaker 00

  I think that's a disease. Does anyone even get that?

• 2:34:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. You have to be in like a tough country.

• 2:34:52Speaker 03

  But yeah, you don't want it.

• 2:34:53Speaker 00

  Actually, actually no, knowing how bad Zach is, it would have been, it would have been the Mount Rushmore of Tituses. So Mark would have gone one.

• 2:35:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:35:00Speaker 00

  And then Zach would have gone elephantitis.

• 2:35:02Speaker 03

  That's good. One's global, one's not.

• 2:35:06Speaker 00

  Mark Titus? Yeah, he's pretty global.

• 2:35:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was talking Mark. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:35:11Speaker 00

  Mount Rushmore of Tituses.

• 2:35:12Speaker 03

  Derma.

• 2:35:14Speaker 00

  You would have fucked that up. One more, one more.

• 2:35:17Speaker 03

  Another Titus?

• 2:35:18Speaker 00

  You know, no, another pick.

• 2:35:19Speaker 03

  Oh, another pick. Uh, we'll go with, uh, scream three.

• 2:35:23Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:35:24Speaker 03

  Mount Rushmore of Jerry O'Connell movies? Yes.

• 2:35:27Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:35:28Speaker 03

  That's really the only thing that movie's.

• 2:35:30Speaker 00

  Mount Rushmore of trilogies?

• 2:35:31Speaker 03

  No one watched it. Yes.

• 2:35:33Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:35:34Speaker 03

  Oh, wait, so there. Which, which topic were you doing when you said scream three? I was, I had Jerry on the brain, but we can pivot to trilogies if it's a better pick for trilogies. That's good. I gotta start padding stats. Already showing improvement, willing to change.

• 2:35:49Speaker 00

  Mount Rushmore of verbs and numbers.

• 2:35:54Speaker 03

  Uh, what's on the Mount Rushmore of numbers zero through a hundred, but you can only pick one of them? Uh, 10 and then seven. 99. 55.

• 2:36:07Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:36:08Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:36:08Speaker 00

  Which one's your pick?

• 2:36:11Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go with, uh, 55.

• 2:36:12Speaker 00

  Okay. I'll go three.

• 2:36:14Speaker 03

  Five.

• 2:36:16Speaker 05

  99.

• 2:36:17Speaker 03

  I go eight. 15.

• 2:36:20Speaker 05

  I don't think Jerry O'Connell's in scream three.

• 2:36:22Speaker 03

  Oh, really? What's he in?

• 2:36:23Speaker 05

  I think he's in the first screen.

• 2:36:25Speaker 03

  Is it scream one? That's why you burn the bad picks. Yeah.

• 2:36:29Speaker 05

  Scream.

• 2:36:29Speaker 03

  69.

• 2:36:34Speaker 05

  23.

• 2:36:37Speaker 00

  So, so it was my Mount Rushmore. It was verbs and numbers. So like the first pick would have been jump 23.

• 2:36:46Speaker 00

  Then he would have gone with scream three.

• 2:36:50Speaker 03

  Wait, what?

• 2:36:51Speaker 00

  The Mount Rushmore.

• 2:36:51Speaker 03

  What Zach just did?

• 2:36:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, he did. That was the Mount Rushmore he did.

• 2:36:56Speaker 00

  Scream three.

• 2:36:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:36:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. See what I'm saying? That would be the Mount Rushmore of verbs, verbs combined with numbers. You would have said scream three.

• 2:37:04Speaker 03

  Blink 182.

• 2:37:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, right. That would have been a good one.

• 2:37:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:37:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:37:38Speaker 00

  Self-profetti.

• 2:37:41Speaker 00

  39, Danny Woodhead.

• 2:37:43Speaker 03

  Anyone?

• 2:37:44Speaker 00

  Anyone?

• 2:37:45Speaker 03

  Shout Danny Woodhead. He was actually watching the grudge match yesterday.

• 2:37:48Speaker 00

  Fuck yeah.

• 2:37:48Speaker 03

  Probably very, he'll probably never come on the show again after he saw how bad we were.

• 2:37:53Speaker 00

  We gotta get him on the show.

• 2:37:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:38:17Speaker 03

  What do we got?

• 2:38:19Speaker 00

  72.

• 2:38:23Speaker 00

  No one.

• 2:38:24Speaker 03

  No one. Happy Labor Day to all the moms out there and happy birthday to Montez Sweat. Happy birthday to Mike Piazza. Not gay, per his press conference that he called. Uh, happy birthday to Beyonce and Anthony Weiner. Happy birthday to Bubba. Liam, big bubba. Happy birthday, buddy. Happy birthday to Mac Jones. Happy birthday to Lance Stevenson. And happy birthday to my good friend and I'll be celebrating with him on Saturday. Jack Daniel. Love you guys.