Pete Crow Armstrong, Joe Buck, Pardon My Book Is Out + Mt Rushmore Of Things Guys Keep For Too Long

Pardon My Book is officially out and we talk about the book and it finally being released (00:00:00-00:06:29). We need to turn training camp injuries off and other national sports podcast topics (00:06:29-00:24:00). Mt Rushmore of things guys keep for too long (00:24:00-00:46:28). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including pmt getting soft and coke rings at Penn State (00:46:40-01:08:02). Pete Crow Armstrong joins the show to talk about his incredible season thus far, defensive philosophies, conspiracy theories, hitting walk offs and the best dinosaurs that could play in the MLB (01:08:02-01:54:42). Joe Buck joins the show to talk football, writing the foreword for our book, the upcoming Super Bowl, his tv show and more (01:54:42-02:32:19. We finish with listener FAQ’s about the book You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take https://barstool.link/pardon-my-take

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, Pardon My Take fans. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or Netflix.

• 0:06Speaker 01

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• 0:49Speaker 00

  On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we've got a massive show. Pardon My Book is officially out and we have Pete Crow Armstrong in studio, fresh off of his walk off homerun against the White Sox on Monday night. And we also, great interview with him. And then we also have our good friend who wrote the foreword of the book, Joe Buck on the show. It's gonna be awesome. Two great, great interviews. We also have the Mount Rushmore of things guys keep too long. And we have a big twist for the finale, the last two and a half weeks of Mount Rushmore season. We're gonna do some hot seat, cool

• 1:30Speaker 00

  throne. We have FAQs about the book at the end of the show. We're gonna get right back to the show. Stella Blue Coffee's new can lattes are here. Crafted with 100% Colombian coffee, each can is a good source of protein and comes in two smooth flavors, Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. And whether you're braving your morning commute or chasing your pup, Stella Blue cans are for those always on the go and for those who care. Stella Blue is more than just great coffee. It's about giving back. I named the brand after my rescue dog Stella who inspired our mission to help more dogs find their forever homes. Every purchase supports animal rescue organizations. So when you drink Stella Blue, you're not just fueling your day, you're saving a dog's life. Try the new cans today, taste the difference,

• 2:15Speaker 00

  and make a difference. All new Stella Blue Coffee canned lattes now available at stellabluecoffee.com or subscribe on Amazon for 10% off. All right, back to Pardon My Take.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Wednesday, August 19th. And boys, we did it. Our book is out. We've done it. We've said it. We've set that we've set this book and some god awful writing out into the universe. I've given this, I think I've said this before on the show, but if you please buy a book, if you buy a book, also maybe when you're on Amazon buying the book, buy a highlighter and maybe some sticky notes because what we did was an interactive book that you can also edit along with us.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  We care more about telling than we do about spelling. And I think the point gets across. If you read Zach's chapter, we know. Yeah. Listen, the answer to your complaint is we know there's some misspellings in there.

• 3:36Speaker 00

  Who cares?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  But guess what? That's the English language. If you talk to any historian, it evolves. We didn't always spell words the way they're spelled right now.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  It's efficiency.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  It's efficient and Zach is nothing but efficient. It was a labor of love. I'm glad that the book's out. I'm glad that we're done writing it, but I did get a chance to read through parts of it just to check up on some things I hadn't had the opportunity to look at before. First of all, big shout out to Hank for the picture selection.

• 4:01Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Great job.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  We put pictures in there.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Great job on the pictures.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  We also broke it up, just so everyone knows, into quarters because we thought people would understand that. So there's four quarters in the entire book.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  For all you soccer fans out there, you need stuff broken up into quarters. We did that for you.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  Yep, absolutely.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  So yeah, like labor of love. It was cool reading every chapter written by the guest that wrote in.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  And there's a lot of them. I'm gonna rip them real quick. J.J. Watt, Blake Bortles, Blake Griffin, Ryan Rusil, Chris Long, Kyle Long, Ryan Whitney, SVP Florio, Josh Allen, Adam Schefter, Jerry O'Connell, Jim Harbaugh, Chris Berman, Stu Feiner, Mark Titus, Tim Woods, Mr. Portnoy, Coach O, Rico Bosco, Jake Marsh, Billy Football, and then all of us.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Just looking, we should have had Death write a chapter.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  We should be going back to Death and get that.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  I forgot we had a halftime speech from Coach O.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's, I think it's a fun book. I think you guys will like it a lot. So it is truly, it's truly humbling to see people that are like taking pictures of the book with their dogs.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Like that.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  It's, it's a book. We made a book for people who don't like to read. That's really truly it. It's split into quarters. There's chapters that are two pages in length. So yeah, please buy it if you can. We love doing it, going down memory lane. 10 years, we promise we won't write another book till at least 20 years. And probably, I'm actually gonna say 25 years.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  We might, I might retire from reading books.

• 5:19Speaker 00

  I think I'm gonna retire from writing books.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  You can always come back if you want to.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  But yeah, I think I gotta retire from this.

• 5:24Speaker 00

  But it was very funny. We get into it with Joe Buck, who wrote the foreword for the book, but everyone who's bought it, who's already bought it, thank you so much. Everyone who hasn't bought it, what the hell are you doing? Buy the book, please. And, and once, once everyone buys the book, literally every single person buys the book in America, we will stop talking about the book. So that's our guarantee.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, tell a friend. Yeah. I had a moment where I went to Target this morning and I was looking to see, I want to see the book in person, you know, like there's, that's gotta be a cool moment. I still haven't had it yet where I walk into a store and I see, see my book. I went to Target and it was sold out.

• 5:56Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  And there were lots of Kelsey Brothers books that were still available for purchase.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  I thought that was an interesting moment.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  And special shout out, by the way, to Matt, our ghostwriter who helped very, very much with this book. He was able to talk to the guests and help them write the chapters and he organized the book. He was a very integral part. We wouldn't be able to write the book. And also Dom, who basically Dom led us around for the last three months being like, you have to do this now. We're like, no, we don't want to do it now. And when that, no, no, you have to do this now.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  When that didn't work, he like broke it up into colors.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  It's like, oh, if you see red, that means you have to do that now.

• 6:31Speaker 00

  Oh, at one point he was like, you have to give me five pages tomorrow. And I was like, oh, I can't. He's like, okay, well, if we're talking real here, like I need three. And like you just keep bringing it down. Look at that. Sold out. Okay. Well, let's talk some sports because we've got a great show and we're gonna do some FAQs on the book at the end of the show. We need to turn injuries off in training camp. It's getting to be a problem. The Chargers had, how many injuries did the Chargers?

• 6:58Speaker 02

  They had three injuries within an hour. And it was a joint practice against the 49ers and it was unfortunately Tyler Beattish, their center.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  That's not good.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  He went down. And now I don't know if this is true or not. I read, I did read this online that the Chargers have now had gone three years where a very important offensive lineman has been injured because their left guard threw somebody into that person's legs during a practice.

• 7:24Speaker 00

  That tracks.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Like, is it the same guard every time?

• 7:27Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  It just keeps, he just keeps, he needs to learn to throw people the other way.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, that tracks. But yeah, we had that. Kyle Manung guy's out for a few weeks. He got tackled in no pads, which was not great. Breece Hall, how's he doing memes? I saw, it's always bad whenever you have memes just tweeting the like person jumping out of a building and all those memes. You're like, oh, I don't know what happened, but something happened.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Well, Rich Aminy's a piece of shit.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  He tweeted it and it made it seem like he was gonna be out for the season.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  What'd he say?

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Max view, scroll down.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  What'd he say? What'd he say?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  He scrolled too far.

• 8:04Speaker 00

  He scrolled too far.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  He was just basically like, he went down without being touched.

• 8:11Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  And it made it seem like it was either an Achilles or a knee.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  All right. So did he actually, like, did he say it's bad? Or did he just report? Like he went down without, is that true?

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Breece Hall goes down untouched while running after a catch. That was it.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  He's a piece of shit.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  He's a piece of shit. That was like first thing in the morning. It just made, everything seemed bad.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  That's the shit that should be illegal. When Schefter treated the, Kobe Bryant was out for eight to 10 weeks. It's like, you should now have to go to jail for eight to 10 weeks.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  You can't get that wrong.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  You cannot get that wrong. But yeah, let's turn them off. I, this is a point in the season. We're so, so close to football. Just get all the guys to football season. You don't want to hear anything. About your team right now? No, nothing, no.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Like, it doesn't matter what it is.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Any news right now? Bad news.

• 8:55Speaker 00

  It scares you.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  There's never any good news that come. I guess the only good news is when a beat reporter is like, hey, you know that wide receiver that's probably gonna be cut? He was absolutely on fire today.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, he caught everything.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  And then you're like, oh shit, we might have like a new number two receiver.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. Jordan Tyson also for the Saints got hurt. It sucks. It all sucks. So let's just turn injuries off.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  McCaffrey's still not there.

• 9:17Speaker 00

  Titan.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  But probably.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  He's tightening up.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Or Tennessee Titan?

• 9:20Speaker 00

  No, he's tightening.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Possibly a Titan?

• 9:22Speaker 00

  Keeps tightening. He's tight.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Is it possible to be too tight?

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, every day of my life.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:28Speaker 00

  I can't touch my toes.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  I don't know if it is possible to be too tight.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  I think, I think we're walking examples of two tight guys.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  I'm probably the tightest person here.

• 9:36Speaker 00

  You might be. And I'm, I'm not too far behind you.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  But shout out Jersey Jerry for his doctor.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  If you need a doctor, talk to Jerry.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  He's definitely who you want.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  He's my number one medical guy.

• 9:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely. Um, okay, so that, that happened. Uh, we also had, the Lakers, I, can someone explain to me what's going on with the bust family?

• 9:58Speaker 02

  I think I understand.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  Okay, give it to me.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  It's like if there were a show on, um, like one of the prestige channels.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  HBO, let's call it.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Super, super like rich. Do you know what I'm getting at here?

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Winning, winning time.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  The Wire.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  They're the show, the show about the Lakers. No, it's, it's actually a combination of winning time and succession.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  So, uh, yeah, the team or the, the family thought that they could sell the team. Genie Bus says, uh-uh, no, you can't sell the team because only my signature matters.

• 10:27Speaker 00

  Okay, so is that true?

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Don't know.

• 10:30Speaker 00

  If that's true, has there ever been a clear, I'm the favorite child moment than that?

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Being like, oh, all five of my siblings wanna sell the team, but daddy loved me the most and I have the golden signature? What a flex that should, that feels like to be like, hey, I know we joked about it at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but no, no, no. I'm daddy's girl.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I guess they, legally, they might not allow it to be sold.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  That'd be crazy. They have the minority stake though. The, the, the, the Mark, Mark Walters guy who, I feel like that's, that, we're just getting started with that.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:05Speaker 00

  Cause did you guys see that Shohei has an opt out in his contract if he ever sells the team?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  I did see that. In fact, I didn't know about it until I saw some reporting that he's not expected to exercise the opt out.

• 11:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  But it did, it made me think for a second, like, wouldn't that be sweet if he did?

• 11:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, it feels like, conspiracy theory. Here we go. Ready? Fingers up. It feels like this thing is a very interesting timing when we're about to hit a maybe labor stoppage in MLB and everyone's like, the Dodgers are ruining baseball and oh whoops, the guy who owns the Dodgers is spending all the money now has to sell the Dodgers and you can't spend all the money anymore. Did we just fix baseball?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  Huh.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  So the attorney for Lakers governor G bus says the trust vote to sell is void. Arguing Liel's standing that requires her to be controlling owner on a lifetime basis. Her lawyer is demanding that the representatives of the trust make it clear publicly that Genie is the controlling owner of the Lakers and that they take no action on this vote to sell the seventeen point eight percent stake. That's per Sam Amick.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  So I, yeah, seventeen point eight. I don't know how much that makes a difference.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  But I guess she gets to stick around and be the, be Genie Bus.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, she gets to continue to be Genie.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause otherwise, if she doesn't own the Lakers, she's no longer Genie.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  What are you?

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, not Genie Bus.

• 12:23Speaker 00

  You're not Genie Bus.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  You're a former bus.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. You're, you're retired bus. You're, you're like hosting podcasts now instead of driving on the road.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Could you imagine that? That's actually a sick idea to do.

• 12:33Speaker 00

  She probably will have a podcast. We should do that. You think Genie Bus can get a podcast? Yeah. Why not? Right? Why not?

• 12:40Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, and then, uh, the Clippers investigation I don't understand as well. Are they cleared or not cleared?

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Uh, I don't know. I think cleared. I think cleared. I think.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Cleared, okay, cleared.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  Turns out that the NBA has investigated itself and found no wrongdoing. So, uh, they don't wanna ruffle any feathers with the world's, what, sixth richest man?

• 13:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  I, and also if they're a competent organization, when it came to bribing players, they would do it in a way that Steve Ballmer actually did not know.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  About it. Like, that's kind of an unwritten rule. It's like, don't bring the big man into it.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  I, uh, I love Steve Ballmer. He just, he does the rich guy thing correctly in terms of like, he hasn't changed. He's still a nerd that's probably sweating through his blue collared shirts, right? Like, he's not, he's not Bezos trying to get jacked and get on some gear. He's not Zuckerberg trying to choke some dudes out. He's not Bill Gates flying to some unnamed islands for parties. He's just Ballmer who's like, hey, I wanna win so bad, I might create a fake tree or, uh, company and, and do it that way.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Now, if you're saying he hasn't changed, I would also argue that maybe Bill Gates, like his whole thing was I get to go spend a weekend with my ex-girlfriend.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't think that was what got him in trouble though.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Probably the Epstein stuff.

• 13:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd say so.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  At some point, he was dating high school chicks and he was like, I, you know what? All you people have changed.

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Not me.

• 14:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  I'm the same old Bill.

• 14:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm cool Bill, hanging out. What's up, kids?

• 14:08Speaker 02

  So yeah, I don't, I don't know. I think that the Laker or the Clippers will not be punished. I think the Lakers, it sounds like Genie Bus has, has a legal case.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  And if she doesn't, move on to the podcast. Bus, bus, uh, bussin'. She was the boss.

• 14:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Bossin' with the bus.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  Boss it with the bus.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Would be a good name for that podcast.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  I like that a lot.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  I think that now this means that the Raptors are going to get Kawhi Leonard.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, which makes him very good.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  It would be funny if the NBA just blamed it all on Kawhi. Like Kawhi.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  He wouldn't even react.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  He did everything and turns out the Clippers did nothing.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  They're completely innocent.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  He would just do his weird robot laugh.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Kawhi started a fake tree.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  Do we have anything about LeBron?

• 14:56Speaker 02

  I don't think, I don't think he's been in the news.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  I did look. I looked earlier today.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  You gotta, you gotta look. You gotta look every day. You gotta look every day.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Wait, let me, let me double check.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  What, what big LeBron story is gonna break when Max? He almost hit a home run. Yeah, that's right. He did almost hit a home run. That is, I know him as a golf creator now, not a basketball player.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  So talented. So many different talents.

• 15:18Speaker 00

  So many different talents.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  There's that story about the, uh, about the cell phone usage thing.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, the, we, we had Pete Crow Armstrong in studio, but I was at the Cubs game on Monday night. That was awesome. He's the fucking best. He hit a homerun to start the game first pitch and then hit a homerun to end the game last pitch. It was a playoff atmosphere. There was fighting in the bleachers. That one dude ate like seventy-five punches.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:43Speaker 00

  Just, I don't, I don't know. I think he kinda started. He, he made, he made the first kick, then he just sat down in the bleachers and just ate punches.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  That was a bad fight, bad fight. I think that guy ran out of gas because he, he went up and down steps a couple of times.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Before the fight started. And that's like when, what's his name, Wilder, when he made that huge walk into the ring?

• 16:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  And was, was gassed because he was wearing those big ass robes. This big dude, he went up and down those steps like three times.

• 16:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  By the time hands started flying, he was like, I just did a, a Stairmaster workout. I just, yeah, I'm gonna have a seat for a while.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, but P- PCA is, I mean, he's reached that level where it's like, when you get to that next level of, I fully expect him to do something magical. You know what I mean? Where it's like not even a question of, oh, will he come through with something big here? No, he's gonna do it.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  And he's gonna be sick when he does it. And, uh, he was, I mean, he had a two home runs, uh, single and a double. I know Shohei hit two home runs, but he was doing it in Colorado. He couldn't fucking do that. That's a pop fly.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Anybody could.

• 16:39Speaker 00

  That's a fucking pop.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  I could hit a homerun in Colorado. I could probably dunk in Colorado.

• 16:42Speaker 00

  Did you guys see Kyle Tucker? That guy is in the depths of hell right now. He dropped another easy fly ball. He is. I don't know what you do if you're Kyle Tucker. Like, do you,

• 16:54Speaker 00

  Max, what do you, I mean, like, do you sit him forever? You gotta sit him for like a week or something.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  He's just got the yips right now. He's so far, far in his own head. I, I don't hate the idea of sending him down to the minors for like a week.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  Right.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  Like, remind yourself that you're good.

• 17:08Speaker 00

  But not even triple A, single A. Let him just mash.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:12Speaker 00

  Send him to Little League. Send him to Williamsport.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  That's not a bad idea.

• 17:16Speaker 00

  That actually would be really funny if like that was the next.

• 17:18Speaker 04

  He would kill a guy.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  The next wave of analytics is like when a guy gets yips, they have, they have a standing travel baseball team, twelve-year-old travel baseball team at their spring training facility. They're like, all right, dude, just go down, just fucking hit some mammoth home runs off these kids, maybe strike a couple of them out, make a couple of them cry, then come back and, and, and be yourself.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  That's why the Nats offense is so good this year because their pitching staff is pretty much like a little league team.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  So like in spring training, they just all got really confident.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  They're like, yeah, we can all hit.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  But Kyle Tucker's in hell.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  They also were up ten-one in this game. It meant absolutely nothing.

• 17:52Speaker 00

  Is, yeah, no, of course, but baseball yips are the worst yips, right? I mean, I guess golf yips.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Golf is pretty bad.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Baseball golf are the, are like kind of one in the same though of like, it's just you. And, and you're in your own head. Yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  But tennis, tennis serving. Baseball, baseball yips may be worse just because you have the teammates to be like.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're letting other people down.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  And all, all of them are probably not saying a word, but you know they wanna say something and you know that they're like, hey dude, are you okay? Free, free throw. Yips.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  I would say kicker yips.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  Kicker yips are bad.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  Kicker yips are off because it's the same thing.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Baseball. You've got the whole team and everybody could kick your ass.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  But but kicker, the only saving grace for kicker yips is you can just get cut.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  They usually fire you.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. A kicker usually doesn't get to recover from like it's fatal.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, like Kyle Tucker.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  The yips, you're done.

• 18:41Speaker 00

  Kyle Tucker signed a $240 million contract. You can't just be like, oh dude, you're cut.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  What about this for a dumb idea? What about moving him to catcher? Just to just so that he thanks God when he gets moved back out to right field.

• 18:54Speaker 00

  Just one inning?

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's like, I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  I don't hate it.

• 18:58Speaker 04

  I it's really just his hitting is so bad that it that every his mentals are done with everything in the game.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:05Speaker 04

  He can't hit where shit.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  No, he sucks.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  I mean, if the Dodgers win the World Series, it's like on expert mode.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  That is the one thing. It's it's actually very similar to kicker as well. Like he if he hits a big home run in a playoff game, everything is forgiven. If a kicker has the yips and then hits a big kick in a playoff game, it's like, oh shit, we always loved them.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  But man, he is in straight up hell. Also, just an update, and it's not a knock on him, but Joshua Baez has still not gotten a hit off of anyone not named Matthew Boyd. He should have retired.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  That's interesting.

• 19:37Speaker 00

  Oh, and oh, for 16, six K's. He should have retired.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  He like, go out on top, dude. Just be the best. Be the guy that everyone's like, imagine if he had played his whole career. He would have had a million home runs.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Did you hear C G Abrams moving to second base?

• 19:54Speaker 00

  No, I did not hear.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  My theory on that is they couldn't find anybody that wanted to trade for him.

• 20:00Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Because he's clearly a bad defensive shortstop.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  And so, but he would be like, maybe not as bad second base, still one of the best hitters in baseball, right? I think they're going to ship him on.

• 20:10Speaker 04

  Don't you have a very good defensive shortstop as a prospect?

• 20:13Speaker 02

  We've got we've we've got two.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  So I think that would.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  We almost have too many.

• 20:18Speaker 00

  That would probably be it.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  That would probably make more sense.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  But I think all probably I think both can be very true at the same time.

• 20:24Speaker 00

  Oh shit.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  I think I think the market on him was not what they expected it to be.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  A J Store commits to UNLV. I'm just reading the the screen. That's his fifth, 15.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  In five years.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Villanova's quarterback got fucked.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  All right, let's do Mount Rushmore. We're doing, we're doing Nashville's second baseman and Villanova quarterback and A J Store.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I was looking.

• 20:47Speaker 00

  We've run out.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  I was looking at Dylan Riola the other day.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  How much he's bounced around. So he's at Oregon now.

• 20:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Uh, obviously in college, he he committed to Georgia. Uh, he might have committed to Ohio State, too.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  I don't count that as much as bouncer out if you didn't go there.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Right, right. So so he obviously, uh, he has been to Nebraska. He went now to Oregon. When he was in high school, he was, um, I think like four schools in four years kind of guy.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  That's A J Store. I'm pretty sure is on like eight schools in nine years.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  This is like the most meathead take that I might have, and it's a little bit draft day birthday party thing. But at some point, if you're a quarterback, you should not want to transfer schools again, just based on the fact that you've got boys.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Like that you have friends that you don't want to leave again.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  Hundred percent.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  And you don't want to make new friends somewhere else. The fact that he he's moved schools so many times, there is something that's like, why is it? Why doesn't he have friends?

• 21:42Speaker 00

  I think the third school is a red flag.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:45Speaker 00

  So he's got one more. No, no, he doesn't have one more.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:49Speaker 00

  The third school is a red flag.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Like, imagine your boys from college.

• 21:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Imagine if you just one year, you were like, hey, you know what? I'm gonna, I need a new change of pace.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go somewhere else. Now imagine doing that three times.

• 21:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  It's because you don't have boys.

• 22:00Speaker 00

  And also, it's like the the what is the move you're making? Is it a lateral move? Like a lateral move is also kind of a red flag. But if it's like a if you're moving up, if you're going from MAC to Big Ten, or if you're going from, you know, uh, Mountain West, so it's not Mountain West anymore, up to to SEC, that's that's a different move.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 22:19Speaker 00

  So, yeah, I I agree with that take. That's a good meatball take.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  That actually has, I think, some merit.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  If it can happen once to anybody.

• 22:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  Maybe twice, but at some point, if you've already done it twice, you should be like, I don't want to, I don't want to have to make new friends again.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, who are your boys? Okay, let's do Mount Rushmore. Then we got hot seat, cool throne. We'll talk some more sports. Uh, before we do that, DraftKings, something big is coming on September 2nd. DraftKings Game Day arrives with massive deals, exclusive offers, and all-day celebration built for sports fans. The countdown has begun. All roads lead to Game Day. The DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is on the excitement. One app, every sport, all 50 states. DraftKings Game Day is yours. Remember the date, September 2nd. DraftKings Game Day is the kickoff of a new season, a new era, and the biggest day in sports history. Get pumped. Get ready to celebrate. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code TAKE. Spend $5 to get 150 in rewards within 14 days for all markets.

• 23:18Speaker 00

  That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours.

• 23:22Speaker 03

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• 23:59Speaker 00

  Mount Rushmore is brought to you by our friends at Reese's. We love Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. We have the Reese's Candy, uh, Reese's Lounge upstairs, and it is absolutely phenomenal. Whether you're talking about the peanut butter cups, whether you're talking about the new peanut butter cups with the Oreo, which are my personal favorite, the Reese's Sticks. They have it all with Reese's. They are the one one pick. If we did a Mount Rushmore of candies, Reese's are the absolute best. They are, let's say, they're Timothy Chalamet of candy. They are the Spain national team of candy. They are the New York Knicks of the candy. They're the champions of candy. They're the best, the undisputed goat of candy.

• 24:39Speaker 00

  There's nothing better than a Reese's cup. Look at it. I got it right here. King size. The king size big cup. Look at that. It's like winning. It's like winning a title. When you open up the Reese's Big Cup, you basically are winning a title. So Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. Okay. Mount Rushmore. Max, memes and I have officially clinched. We cannot statistically get last place. So we were talking about it, and I think it gets into a funky territory where if you have a team that has no urgency, no, uh, reason to submit good picks, can skew how the rest of the Mount Rushmore season goes. What do we have? Like 10 left, I think? No, we have eight left?

• 25:25Speaker 00

  Eight left. Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Eight left. So with eight left, uh, we don't want to be the the the team that fucks everything up. And it's like, hey, if we if we submit a bad picks and then everyone else gets screwed up. So, uh, we're going to, and and by the way, Max, memes and I are at 53. I think you guys are tied, right? 40?

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 25:47Speaker 00

  40 points each.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  I think I'm.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  Are you ahead?

• 25:50Speaker 02

  I might be one point up. Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I believe it's tied.

• 25:54Speaker 00

  Is it tied? Let's see.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Is it tied? Shane, fuck us.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  I'm seeing I have 40. You guys.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  I also see that.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Uh, Hank and Zach have 39.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  That does kind of put a wrinkle in.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  All right. No, no, I think this is fine. So our idea is that we now go shift to a 1v1v1. Zach, Hank, PFT. I think we should start. PFT is up one point. That's fair.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 26:26Speaker 00

  He has one point and you guys have zero points.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 00

  That's totally fair. You should get that point.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  I was prepared to compete, to to go down solo against the two of you, but that's fine.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  If they need to be broken up.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 00

  And so how we're going to do the rest of the Mount Rushmore season, the last eight, is that, uh, you guys are going to all go 1v1v1. Well, obviously, Max, memes and I will still discuss picks and talk about it when you guys make picks. And then at the end of the picks, uh, Max memes and I will submit the honorable mention list. So, um, that's how we're going to go. I like it. It's a new, new juice, new, new, new, new something going on here. Zach, are you a little scared to go on your own?

• 27:04Speaker 02

  1v1v1.

• 27:06Speaker 00

  PFT, I like.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Stand on it.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  Against these guys.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  I like, I love your guys' chances as well. I take every competition seriously. I take things day by day, really pick by pick. I'm a process guy. So, uh, you know, we're just here to be the best team that we can be.

• 27:17Speaker 00

  All right. So today is the Mount Rushmore of things guys hold on to for too long, correct?

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Okay. Who wants to go for? You know what? We'll do, we'll do, I'll, uh, I'll, I have a number behind my back. Zach, do you want to guess it?

• 27:38Speaker 02

  I'll pass on the guess.

• 27:40Speaker 00

  Okay, so it's one, one through three.

• 27:41Speaker 05

  Five.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  It's one through three.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Three.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  This is insane what's going on right now.

• 27:46Speaker 00

  Zach, you got it right. It was three.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  What pick would you like to start with this draft?

• 27:51Speaker 02

  This draft, I would like to take the first pick.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  Okay, so then let's go Zach first, Hank second, PFT third and fourth, and then we'll shift it from there. Okay?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  We feel good about that?

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 28:03Speaker 00

  All right. I don't think there's a clear one, one in this.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  But I would like to.

• 28:09Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, let's go. Things that guys hold on to for too long.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  Things guys hold on to too long. I would like to take boxers one.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  Had it on our list. Great pick.

• 28:19Speaker 04

  Excellent pick.

• 28:19Speaker 00

  Great pick.

• 28:20Speaker 05

  I recently shout out Fruit of the Loom. I just got rid of all my boxers and just, and just restocked Fruit of the Loom. And it's, it is, it is a great feeling.

• 28:29Speaker 05

  Uh, so I have the next pick. Uh,

• 28:31Speaker 00

  You do.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  It's similar. Especially, especially when you lose one. I think that if I was gonna write a biography,

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  It would just, the title of the book would just be where, where do all the socks go?

• 28:43Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  I'm taking socks.

• 28:45Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  What would the biography be about?

• 28:49Speaker 05

  Just whatever.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  Where all the socks go?

• 28:52Speaker 02

  About socks.

• 28:53Speaker 00

  But like, what would be the first page? Like, what would you write in it?

• 28:56Speaker 05

  Well, that would, that would just be like the general title.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  Is this a children's book?

• 28:59Speaker 05

  No, it's just like a, just like an autobiography.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  Where all the socks?

• 29:02Speaker 05

  Where all the socks? Oh, that's actually, it could be a good children's book.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  Where all the socks?

• 29:04Speaker 04

  The high Q.

• 29:05Speaker 00

  Under the lamp?

• 29:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 00

  No, in the oven? No.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  The dog has them.

• 29:09Speaker 00

  In the drawer? No, that's mommy's dildo.

• 29:11Speaker 05

  But every time I lose a sock, that doesn't mean I get rid of the one that I have left. I put it in a drawer and then when I go to put on socks, I just have a mountain of single socks.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's why you gotta get.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  And then I spend an entire like 10, 20 minutes trying to find the matching sock, which is lost.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  The sock companies know that, which is why they always do, even if you have a pair of socks, like your favorite design, they'll just make a new one that's like slightly different.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  This is, Hank, you gotta do the total sock overhaul. I've talked about this before.

• 29:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, I do. I gotta, I did it with the Fruit of the Loom. I gotta do it. I gotta do it with socks.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  Every couple of years, I just, I throw out every single one of my socks and then I get like 30 pair and they're all the same brand and they're all the same thing.

• 29:54Speaker 00

  That way you can't lose one.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  I still will, but.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  No, you can't.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  You can't. Where do they go?

• 29:59Speaker 00

  What are you talking about? You have all the same.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, but when you do laundry, you end up with singles and then you're, then you're.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  You just throw the single out.

• 30:06Speaker 05

  Right. That's what I don't do. I keep them too long.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  Okay. All right. That's a good pick.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  Because you think, you think one day they'll come back.

• 30:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 00

  You got a wide open draft.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Um, those were my, I had those kind of like one, two. So I think we're going chalk so far. I'm gonna go hairstyle.

• 30:22Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  Guys, keep the hairstyle. They don't change it up enough. Um, just kind of through inertia. It's like, I've always looked like this. So I guess I'll look like that tomorrow.

• 30:30Speaker 00

  Memes, why are you, uh, smiling?

• 30:32Speaker 04

  I, I, I didn't, I, I didn't think that's where it was gonna go.

• 30:37Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Okay, say more memes.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  No, that's it. That's all, that's all I'm saying.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm gonna go, uh, I'm gonna go shoes.

• 30:44Speaker 00

  Hmm. I like that.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  She's a great.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that on there. They get ratty.

• 30:48Speaker 00

  We had that on there.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  And then, then your worst pair of shoes, guess what? You don't throw those out either. They just turn into lawn mowing shoes.

• 30:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:56Speaker 05

  Uh, I will take wallet.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 31:02Speaker 05

  I, the only time I've ever replaced a wallet is when I've lost it.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  I want you guys to hear some, this is actually good for the podcast. This is, this is the sound of my wallet.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  That's Velcro.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Velcro, baby.

• 31:12Speaker 05

  PFT has a, a middle schooler's wallet.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. It's, it's also got.

• 31:16Speaker 05

  Middle school skater's wallet.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  It's got a place for a chain on it too. My favorite thing is to go out to a fancy dinner and then when the bill comes, it's like a black tie place. I take out my wallet and I go. And the waiter tries not to laugh.

• 31:26Speaker 00

  PFT, check out my wallet. I just got a new wallet.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  That's a lot of cash.

• 31:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is a lot of cash. Do you, but he, check out my new wallet.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  Do you like it?

• 31:34Speaker 02

  I'd say like.

• 31:35Speaker 00

  Do you see that?

• 31:35Speaker 02

  I can see.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Do you see the new wallet?

• 31:37Speaker 02

  There's tape on there.

• 31:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I just got a new wallet. I, uh,

• 31:42Speaker 00

  the side of my wallet was broken for about three months. So once a week, I would just have a complete explosion of my wallet. I would go to grab something and every single thing would fall out. I got a new wallet. I, and by got a new wallet, I got some electrical tape and I just taped the side of it. So this, but this bad boy's not going anywhere, anywhere. Good pick.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  Great pick.

• 32:06Speaker 00

  You just can't get a new wallet. Like it's just, it's, it's, it doesn't fit the same. It's like, it just, the whole thing is just feels weird.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  This wall has been pretty good to me.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  Decent amount of money is passed to this.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Let me see your wallet again?

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Just one second, sir.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, that, that's the same one that my.

• 32:23Speaker 04

  You lost a wallet and then you got.

• 32:25Speaker 00

  That is a, that's the same one my son has.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's cool. It's actually, it's an upscale version of that because this one's got like RFID blocking. It's, it's actually like an expensive middle school wallet.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  What, Max?

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Didn't you lose a wallet and then you got that like on a whim?

• 32:42Speaker 02

  I'd lost, I lost a wallet at, uh, the Q at Quicken Loans Arena.

• 32:46Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  Before the Cavaliers playoff.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  Very famous one.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, famous wallet. It, it brought them a championship. It was like that number one, then LeBron. Actually, what?

• 32:55Speaker 04

  Did you talk about that in part of my book?

• 32:57Speaker 02

  I might have.

• 32:58Speaker 05

  You lost that one in 2017.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Read about that in part of my book.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  You should, you should, uh, you should hope to God that I lose my wallet inside whatever the Clippers arenas go, or the, uh, the Sixers arenas called.

• 33:09Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:10Speaker 05

  They didn't win a championship after you lost.

• 33:11Speaker 00

  No, they didn't.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  You sure?

• 33:14Speaker 05

  Yes, 2017.

• 33:15Speaker 00

  2017.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Okay, I thought it was 2016.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  Wasn't.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  That was the game that we went to that Kyrie was like

• 33:21Speaker 04

  I think they did.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  Best player of all time.

• 33:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 00

  Remember that?

• 33:24Speaker 05

  Machine Gun Kelly performed at halftime.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  MGK.

• 33:27Speaker 05

  Yeah. Isaiah Thomas Celtics.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Was that not grit week one?

• 33:31Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  All right.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  Uh, let me see, I'm gonna look.

• 33:35Speaker 05

  I, I know it's, I know.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, I mean, it was against the Celtics, so I would hope you know. I think you do know. But yeah, I just remember Kyrie was like.

• 33:44Speaker 05

  I think it was, it was the JR Smith timeout year.

• 33:48Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Cleveland, Cleveland, Boston, 2017, uh, conference finals.

• 33:54Speaker 05

  Bloodbath.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  You were lucky to get there. Rajon Rondo broke his hand in the first round against the Bulls. He's up two, nothing.

• 34:01Speaker 05

  If you forget.

• 34:02Speaker 00

  If you forget. All right, Zach, you have two picks.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  I would like to take, uh, the second pick pillows.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  Okay. And then third, I would like to take, uh, was the official name Things or Items?

• 34:14Speaker 05

  Items.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  No, it's, it's Things.

• 34:16Speaker 05

  It's Items.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  Oh, well.

• 34:18Speaker 04

  No, it can.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  It'd be Things.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  You can do whatever you want.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. Third, I would like to take

• 34:25Speaker 02

  leftovers.

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 34:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, good pick. Good pick. Very good pick. Way too long.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  Look at our fridge right now. I think we have queso in there from six weeks ago.

• 34:37Speaker 00

  Jerky from like a month ago.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. I'm gonna eat that.

• 34:42Speaker 05

  I was gonna take something similar. I think it's, it's still different enough. Uh,

• 34:49Speaker 05

  just healthy food items.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 34:52Speaker 05

  Like you buy healthy food

• 34:54Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  and then you never consume the healthy food and then it just stays in your fridge forever.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  And there's a, yeah. Okay. That kind of counts as working out when you buy like, like a piece of lettuce, like a bag of spinach. Yeah, leftovers.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  But that's, I, I think that's.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  But Hank's is like.

• 35:12Speaker 00

  Give us an example.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  They can't be leftovers because they were never started.

• 35:14Speaker 05

  Strawberries.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 05

  Like how many times?

• 35:17Speaker 00

  I liked it. That's our healthy fruit.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  No, strawberries are healthy.

• 35:21Speaker 00

  It's a sweet, I mean, sort of, like there's still that.

• 35:23Speaker 05

  Strawberries, blueberries.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Like that's the, that's the pinnacle of health we do is just like fruit.

• 35:28Speaker 05

  Milk.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  Fruit's healthy.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  Milk, yeah.

• 35:33Speaker 05

  Like peppers and onions, like you go to the store, avocados, like you, you're like, all right, I'm gonna eat, I'm gonna eat healthy this week. And then two weeks later, you open the fridge and you're like, oh shit, these strawberries. It's just a giant thing of mold.

• 35:46Speaker 00

  When we were doing our lists, I mean, eggs, I, I keep eggs. I'll pull out eggs and it'll be like, these were two months ago.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  I eat eggs. I, I actually run through eggs.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  I promise I eat, I buy too many eggs.

• 35:58Speaker 04

  Do you get the 16 pack?

• 35:59Speaker 00

  I get two 12 packs.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  Oh, that's too many eggs.

• 36:01Speaker 00

  And then I'm just like, I'm egg down.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Eggs?

• 36:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, they eat eggs, but not like, we, we go in spurts.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:08Speaker 00

  You missed time a spurt and then you just got eggs. All right, PFT, you have two picks.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm gonna go with.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  Towels.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  Okay, we had it on our list.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Too long to get, they get janky, they get holes in them.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Yup, they're like.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Gross, funky.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  The towels that are ripped and have like a weird stain. It's like, how did, how'd you get a weird stain on a towel? That's supposed to be the cleanest thing and you're just like, I don't know.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  It always blows my mind that, there's no bigger difference in the world than going to like a sophomore in college dude's apartment and a sophomore in college chick's apartment.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  Yup.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  It's like, they're two different species entirely.

• 36:44Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  They have fresh towels, they change them, they wash them like once a week.

• 36:48Speaker 00

  Change their sheets.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  I've got like a beach towel that's been hanging, like that's been doubling as a shower curtain for the last week. Uh, hanging over my bathtub, like it is just completely different species.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  We should do a YouTube series of just going into different college dudes apartments.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  With a black light?

• 37:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I don't, we don't need to see that. Just a documentary on dudes apartments.

• 37:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:11Speaker 04

  It's good, it's a good idea.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  You know, I guess I'm just gonna say anything.

• 37:14Speaker 05

  I think there's something to be said to the older towels absorbing water better.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 37:18Speaker 05

  It feels like there's like a, there's a break in period with towels. The older ones do a better job drying up.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Wait, are you saying that because, uh, like it, the longer you have a towel, the more likely it is that's already a little bit wet? When you use it? And so you're like, wow, this, this towel absorbed a lot of wetness. It's not because it's got like four showers worth on it?

• 37:35Speaker 05

  Not so much in repetition in between washes, more so in like, uh, years of having the towel.

• 37:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. The, you know, what's an all time dudes moment that I'm sure everyone has had happen? It happens to be probably once or twice a month. Uh, just getting in the shower and not looking to see if there's a towel. And then getting out and being like, well, what now?

• 37:53Speaker 04

  That's every single time I take a shower.

• 37:56Speaker 00

  And then I just like, all right, I guess I'm just gonna use my shirt.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  I gotta find my towel and it's like in a weird spot that I've literally never put a towel before.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  Like the little like washcloth that is this big and just try to get as much as I can.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  I'll just walk, I'll walk and just soak the entire hallway to the washer and dryer.

• 38:13Speaker 04

  Yelled at.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  The other day I was looking for the towel and I went into my closet and it was hanging up on a coat hanger in my closet. Because I went there after the shower, put on a t-shirt, had to get hanger in my hand and then replace where the t-shirt was with the towel and hung that up for some reason I can't begin to explain.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  It sounds like something I'd normally just throw it on the ground.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, the ground is like, yeah, nine times out of 10, but then.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  Do you have another pick?

• 38:39Speaker 02

  I do.

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go girlfriends.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Dudes keep the same girlfriends for too long. It's past the point, all your friends tell you, hey, man, uh, we've all been talking and she sucks. Yeah, but like, I already know her and like her family.

• 38:55Speaker 05

  No, no one proactively does. It's usually like they break up, you're like, oh my God, thank God she sucks. And then they get back together.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Right. But you do keep them for too long.

• 39:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 05

  But I feel like the people just talk shit behind your back and never actually say.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Like it would, it has to be real bad.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Real bad. But it'd be, yeah, you just think, ah, it'd be too much work to go back out there right now. I guess it's, we hate each other, but maybe we won't.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Uh, I, I don't think this has been taken. Maybe it has. It's definitely the one that makes me feel the most like a hoarder. Because I just cannot get rid of them.

• 39:35Speaker 05

  But I have way too many of them. Hats.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 39:39Speaker 00

  Had on the list.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  I just realized there's.

• 39:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, there's a one, one pick that you would have taken.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  There's a massive.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Permission to go back and change.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  No, I have permission to.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Denied.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  This is like.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  Would you like to appeal?

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Can I appeal?

• 39:52Speaker 00

  Yes, you can appeal. Appeal denied.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  But wait, no, I wasn't appealing to you.

• 39:57Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  You granted my appeal for the appeal.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, so Max.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Max, uh, I'd like to formally follow through with the appeal.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  Hold on, let me talk to my counsel real quick.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Yup. He's appealing. It looks like it might be.

• 40:09Speaker 05

  The draft isn't over either.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  It looks like it might be a yes.

• 40:13Speaker 04

  Uh, appeal denied.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  Okay. All right, Zach, last pick.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Like a one, one out there.

• 40:17Speaker 00

  I can't believe you guys haven't taken it.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 40:19Speaker 00

  We're gonna do our picks.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Well, I can't, alright, I wish I could look it up.

• 40:22Speaker 00

  Our picks, our team's picks that we can, we can, maybe we just have a column that says honorable mentions on the, on the graphic.

• 40:29Speaker 05

  I'm gonna take, uh, t-shirts that don't fit right now, but could fit later.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  That's it. That was the pick.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Oh, that wasn't mine.

• 40:34Speaker 00

  Well, not t-shirts that can't fit right now, but well.

• 40:37Speaker 04

  Do you want that on the graphic or do you want t-shirts?

• 40:39Speaker 05

  I just take t-shirts on the graphic.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  T-shirts are such a, I have so many t-shirts that I just cannot get rid of that are just so stupid to have. It's brutal.

• 40:50Speaker 05

  There will come a day where you need it.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  All right, here's our, uh.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I, I just got a text from, I'm just gonna read this. Bleep this whole thing out, by the way.

• 40:58Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  But I'm gonna say to you, I just got a text from Mincy. Hearing

• 41:05Speaker 02

  pretty wild.

• 41:07Speaker 00

  That is pretty wild.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to bleep that out.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:11Speaker 04

  It's a good bleep, it's a good bleep. We'll keep the Mincy part.

• 41:14Speaker 00

  All right, let's do our four picks for the honorable mentions.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Can I say the one that?

• 41:18Speaker 00

  Well, it might be one of our picks.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  But it just dawned on me like, this is a big time fuck up. Toothbrush.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Well, we had toothpaste on our list.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Toothpaste is one, but toothbrush is like.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a good one too.

• 41:29Speaker 05

  Sneakers.

• 41:30Speaker 00

  All right, uh, you said sneakers. Do you wanna do our four picks? Honorable mentions? I think, uh.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  But you can't vote on these.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  No, no, you, we won't keep it on, we won't put it on the vote. So say, say something that you want, I.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  I like 21.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, your dreams. You, we hold on to our dreams for way too long. Oh, we could go pro, we could do this, we could do that. I could fucking run a, a, under six minute mile. I could bench this. No, you can't, dude. You don't. You, you, your dreams. Um, similar to, to dreams, or no.

• 42:02Speaker 05

  It's items.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, items, dreams. Uh, cups and mugs. You get a free cup from a bar. I have.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  I actually disagree. Those are the best cups.

• 42:11Speaker 00

  No, but there's some that are just like so dead. I have a cup from a bar that hasn't existed for 10 years.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  That's an awesome cup.

• 42:18Speaker 00

  You can't, you don't even know what's on it. It doesn't have a logo anymore.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that's an awesome cup.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  But you look at it and you're like, real ones, no.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 02

  Like I had, I had the dream team cups from McDonald's. Probably for 12 years when I was growing up.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Fuck that one.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  I like 15.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  That used to be Chris Mullen.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  All right.

• 42:34Speaker 00

  All right, so, uh, dreams, cell phones, cell phones and electronics, cell phone slash computers. We, you just can't throw them out. I don't know why. It's stupid.

• 42:43Speaker 04

  Getting a new phone, there's something about having like an old phone with the battery sucks and the, and it's like a little bit cracked that you, you still don't wanna get a new one. You just hold on to that shitty one for, you're probably doing it right now.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Going through it right now. It won't charge.

• 42:56Speaker 04

  But you don't wanna get a new one.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  I've reached the point where it's such a problem where now I have to put a magnetic battery pack on the back of it and then plug that battery pack into a charger overnight. So the charger's then filtered from the battery pack into my phone because I, there was one time in Pawtucket with, uh, Pup Punk. I had it plugged in overnight, didn't charge at all. And it was on 1% battery when I woke up for a flight. So I've got like a daisy chain of charge. And you're right, I'm not gonna get rid of it until it absolutely must go.

• 43:26Speaker 04

  Right.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  All right, we won't even put on, let's just say all of our honorable mentions. All right, it's easier to just do that. Uh, baseball cards that are, that are like truly worthless, you know, like the, the, not like good ones, but like you just have cards that are birthday cards. I never throw up birthday cards and I just hold on to them forever. Uh, we had sheets on there.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  I said iPhone boxes.

• 43:47Speaker 00

  iPhone boxes.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  For some, it's a good box.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  I throw those away like immediately.

• 43:51Speaker 04

  Oh, I, I keep those forever.

• 43:53Speaker 00

  In your junk drawer, you just have cords. I just have cords.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 43:57Speaker 00

  No idea what they go to.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Various charger cables.

• 43:59Speaker 00

  They're just, none, none of them work for anything that you need. Um.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Chargers are always banged up.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  Uh, trophies we had on there, but sometimes you wanna keep a trophy, but there are some that are ridiculous.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  Meme said grudges.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, I said grudges.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Oh, you said.

• 44:14Speaker 00

  I said friends. Friends. Guys hold on to friends too long.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 00

  Dreams, so, uh, something that's just broken, like any item that's just broken and you just have it. Uh, we had toothpaste, their feelings, your feelings. And then my last pick was, uh, things that you hold on to for too long, uh, Ole Miss employees.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Just in general, yup.

• 44:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, in general.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  That's a good one.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  It's very relatable to, I think, everyone else.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  Except, uh, sometimes they send you a banger tax.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  That was a good my rush one.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  I, I also had cars.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  On my list. I had mattresses. I had, um, then shampoo bottles.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  Like they've, they've been done.

• 44:56Speaker 00

  All the way to the end.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  You put some water in it and you try and shake it up to see if you, you can get the last, and I do that like five times.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  And then, yeah, like the third time, you're like, maybe I didn't fill it up and shake it hard enough the first couple of times. I'm sure there'll be some studs that come. Oh, but when the studs do come out, you feel like you're a scientist.

• 45:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Like I figured it out. I've discovered unlimited energy.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  What else? Any other honorable mentions you guys had?

• 45:18Speaker 05

  Mail?

• 45:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  I got a lot of mail.

• 45:21Speaker 05

  Intermerial shirts.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  Yup.

• 45:23Speaker 05

  Game ticket stubs.

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like, I think every guy, like everyone knows a friend.

• 45:30Speaker 05

  Receipts.

• 45:31Speaker 00

  Who actually has kept every single game ticket stub. And you're like, that's awesome. And then every guy, everyone else is like, I wanna be that guy. And I think I have, if I open up like my nightstand, I think I have like three ticket stubs. It's like, I was gonna be that guy once.

• 45:47Speaker 04

  I, I remember when I was a kid, I had a shoebox that said stubs on it. I think I had like two stubs.

• 45:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, right. You just can't.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  Cause I, yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  You just either are that, you, you're, like, I have a friend who has like hundreds of ticket stubs and you're like, that's fucking cool. And then at one point you're like, I'm gonna do that. And you aren't, you aren't that guy.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  Ticket stubs also just like don't exist anymore.

• 46:06Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  I think you were just making that box so you could keep your barbecue sauce in there.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Want to remember it by.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 46:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yep.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, yeah, I think, uh, I think we hit the big ones. I do think that toothbrush is a big miss, though.

• 46:19Speaker 00

  Yeah. I keep toothpaste more. I, I buy toothbrushes in like bulk and I'll just swap them out. Like I'll buy the 10 pack of them.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  I try it. Yeah.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  But toothpaste, I will squeeze till.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 46:32Speaker 00

  There is nothing left.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 00

  Nothing left. And then I'll cut it open. Why?

• 46:37Speaker 04

  You can cut it open?

• 46:38Speaker 05

  There's a whole new tube when you cut it open.

• 46:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can cut it open, dude. Absolutely. You can cut it open.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  You can do it.

• 46:45Speaker 00

  Uh, all right. Good Mount Rushmore. Let's do hot seat, cool throne. Then we'll get to Pete Crow Armstrong and Joe Buck. Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by our friends at Body Armor. This episode is brought to you by Body Armor Flash IV. Flash IV is packed with electrolytes delivering faster, longer lasting hydration without any artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners. Whether you're training, traveling, just feeling the heat, or cheering on your team, work hard and hydrate hard with Body Armor Flash IV. Grab it at 7-Eleven. You need the Body Armor Flash IV after a long weekend, whether it be hanging out with your friends or training really hard. Uh, you need the Body Armor Flash IV. It'll make you feel a lot better. Drink one, grab it at 7-Eleven today. They have some great flavors. Body Armor Flash IV.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  Henry, hot seat, cool throne.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  Uh, my hot seat is Zach Memes and Max.

• 47:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 47:35Speaker 05

  Billy Football, our, uh, our sweet prince went on, on Jake Marsh's podcast. Uh, they're promoting the book, reminiscing on old stories. And, and Billy brought up a good point, I thought, uh, about how the league today, today's day and age is soft. And that Zach and, and memes and Max don't get hazed enough.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, the leagues change. Well, society's changed.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  He, well, he specifically said Zach. I mean.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  But also Billy was podcasting against like plumbers, plumbers and whores. That's, that's who dominated the podcasting charts when Billy was around.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  But that, yeah, Zach, do you think that, that we've been soft on you?

• 48:12Speaker 04

  Memes and I were both here with Billy.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Now.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  Some people.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  We've all worked on the show together.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  Okay, I will say this. Uh, Billy, Billy probably has a fair gripe that we were maybe a little hard on. Billy also didn't, uh, maybe didn't always say like, hey, I fucked up. Zach says I fucked up a lot. Um, so that might be a little different. But Billy has a, it was probably harder on Billy at the start. Jake using his one example is they made me do dip. And it's like, wasn't that a bet? Was very funny.

• 48:39Speaker 05

  And he didn't even do dip.

• 48:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  It did have nicotine, I think, right?

• 48:43Speaker 00

  I think Billy has a fair argument. I don't know if Jake has a, a fair argument.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  The other one Jake gave was, uh, doing the fake boobs.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. Which, yeah.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  That's awesome.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Billy, Billy having to fight Jose Canseco.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:54Speaker 05

  Eat a cheesesteak.

• 48:55Speaker 00

  But Billy, I also, I bet you.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Spicy cheesesteak.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  It was really spicy.

• 48:59Speaker 00

  I would bet you that if Billy, Billy, if you, Billy would, would say himself, he's a, he's a tough, he's like a hard coaching guy. You need to coach him hard. He's not a soft coaching guy. Um, but yeah, I, I see it. We're gonna have to be a little harder on Zach.

• 49:13Speaker 05

  Well, I also, Billy said in the example, he's like, Zach had to do that bike thing. And I was like, what was he talking about? He's like, oh, Travis Pastrana, when you had to like, take a bike off a ramp and almost die.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  By far the most dangerous thing that.

• 49:25Speaker 00

  And I mean, to give Zach credit, I, I did buy an ice cream machine that he had no idea about. And I said, you have to keep this existing. That wasn't super easy.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  Billy did that with the goldfish.

• 49:38Speaker 00

  Goldfish.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  Died. That's right. Yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  By the way, our Larry chapter was, I, I wrote the Larry chapter and I went back and found the actual statistics. It's incredible. He was the greatest.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  He's magical.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  All time.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Magical.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  It's actually insane how good of a goldfish he was.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Uh, Billy also said like, he's completely disconnected from the internet now.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Which is great.

• 49:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  Happy for Billy.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  Do you think it's true?

• 50:00Speaker 05

  No.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  I think disconnected a lot more than he was.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Good for him. I hope he's happy.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, we love those guys. They both wrote chapters. So, uh, you know, those guys are family for life. Like, I truly do mean that. They are part of this show. You can't, like, you can't write this book without having them write in. So they did.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Jake wrote a very good chapter, very interesting chapter. Billy, the way that he like signs off on his chapter is just, it, if you are a Billy Football fan, you will love that.

• 50:28Speaker 00

  It's incredible. Okay. So we gotta be tougher on Zach and memes.

• 50:32Speaker 05

  According to Billy.

• 50:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. Memes, we're gonna give you some tough luck.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Fair. I, uh, fair, huh?

• 50:38Speaker 04

  Memes, memes are shook all morning.

• 50:39Speaker 05

  Last of the day in the Billy, in the Billy.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 50:42Speaker 00

  No, you would get your shit pushed in, buddy.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  Memes just, memes, all day, just been looking at me. He's like, dude, we got soft.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  We got soft. Yeah. This, this, this ruined my entire day.

• 50:52Speaker 00

  Should we, should we buttfuck memes?

• 50:54Speaker 02

  I mean, memes, you do, you do have to.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  Just buttfuck them.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  You gotta take it a little bit.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  Be like, dude, it's fine.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, we gotta, we gotta get hard. We gotta get hard.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  Who can you fight? We need to make you fight somebody.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  What if we do anything butt fight?

• 51:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, buttfuck.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, butt fight. Okay, we can call it whatever you want. You'll butt fight somebody.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  I'm open to anything.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I know. Literally.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  Imagine if we just buttfucked memes and sent it to Billy being like, this is for you, Billy.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  Oh, this guy's fighting me so hard.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  This guy's so, this guy's so soft.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  Oh, round one.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 51:28Speaker 00

  This guy's so.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  So it's the guy buttfucking the other guy.

• 51:31Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 51:32Speaker 05

  Uh, then my cool throne is music.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:35Speaker 05

  Pat McAfee put out an album. It's been, been the talk of the town the last few days.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Ton.

• 51:40Speaker 05

  Uh, talk of the ton. And then former, former coworker, Dan Rappaport, put out a Scotty Scheffler song. Have you guys heard this?

• 51:48Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:49Speaker 05

  I'll play it. I'll play it. I mean, I mean.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Have Max play it. Have Max play it.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  This is kinda where I, this is kinda where I'm like, hey, Billy's got it right.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  We're just here on Twitter.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  Less internet.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Here's the Super Bowl.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 52:01Speaker 00

  Are we allowed to play it?

• 52:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  Is it?

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Who's Twitter?

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Chuck Neso.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  He quote tweeted.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  Is it good?

• 52:07Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 52:08Speaker 05

  It's a banger. I think you, I think we can.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  Oh, this is it? Oh, this has gotta be it.

• 52:14Speaker 00

  Oh, it's only like 20 seconds.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  I don't think that, we'll see.

• 52:18Speaker 03

  Guess who's back? Back again. Scotty's back. Sungjae Im. I created a monster 'cause nobody wants to see Bennett no more. They want young Remy. He's chopped liver. Well, if you want Remy, this is what I'll give you. A 68 on Thursday, but a 6'1" is sicker. So the LIV won't let me be paying Jon Rahm way more than me. 50 jut me down at RBC, but it feels so empty without me. Now this looks like a TPC, so everybody just lose to me. Cause I'm back and I want the trophy 'cause it feels so empty without me.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Uh, that's, that's why the internet was invented. Yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 00

  I'm also gonna say something in defense of Dan Rappaport. I, he knows he's a dork.

• 52:55Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 52:56Speaker 00

  No, he does. He knows. He knows he's a dork.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Even, even dorks can make great music.

• 53:00Speaker 00

  I like that about him. Like, I think he, if you're like, dude, are you a dork about golf? He's like, yeah, I am. Remember when the Tiger thing happened? We, we had him on the Yak after and he's like, yeah, that was a little ridiculous. And I was crying about Tiger. Like, he knows. And I'm, I'm okay with self-aware dorks.

• 53:16Speaker 05

  So you think that was parody?

• 53:17Speaker 00

  I think he was, no, I think he knows, like, this is ridiculous, but I'm putting it out 'cause I just love Scotty so much. No, I don't think he thinks it's a banger. I think he's like, I'm a dork and I love Scotty. Watch me, watch me drop some bars.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. Honestly, it was better than I thought it was gonna be. It had a little flow.

• 53:36Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 53:37Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. You know what? We don't haze enough on this show.

• 53:39Speaker 00

  No.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  I would like to see memes make a song.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, memes, make a fucking song, dude.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Memes, you have to make a song.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Because you guys asked, I will do it.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  All right.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Toughen up.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  Make a song about Gino.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Toughen up, shithead.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  Make a song about Gino.

• 53:51Speaker 04

  Any Gino?

• 53:52Speaker 00

  No, Geno Smith and the Jets.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Geno Smith. And make sure to mention.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  Geno and the Jets.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Seven Sunday Heroes. It's charity.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  Yeah. All right. Good hot seat, cool throne, Hank.

• 54:01Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Way to go. All right, PFT.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Um, my hot seat is our fantasy league.

• 54:07Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  And I, I alluded to this in text message to the boys last night. I have some deep concerns about the future of our fantasy league. And how Jerry O'Connell is approaching this season. Cause I'm sure the draft has to be like any week now, right?

• 54:20Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  It's kinda how, how the pattern goes.

• 54:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're right around it. Yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  So Jerry, as I mentioned in the past, has been extremely active in this fantasy chat. Um, it just got brought up last week. Maybe we increase the buy-in this year.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  And I'm like, I'm fine with that. Whatever Jerry's wife will allow him to do, let's do that.

• 54:42Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  And then CJ McCollum clowned on him a little bit. Like, oh, no Jerry. Like, kinda making fun of him. Um, but I was like, no, Jerry, like, it's up to him. If you guys wanna double the stakes, triple the, like, whatever Jerry wants, it's all good. Then everybody started texting each other last night. And everyone's, I'm sure everyone's got a fantasy league out there. And once that group chat gets going.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  It gets out of control.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  It's crazy. And you'll come back to like 60 missed text messages from that group.

• 55:06Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  That's what it was like last night. So I popped in and somebody said, Jordan Schultz posted, let's set a draft date and confirm buy-in. What does everyone feel good with? We can proceed. And I said, Jerry, question mark? And then I believe Julius Randall responded, Jerry left the chat.

• 55:24Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Exclamation point. I went back and I looked at it. Jerry left this chat. I'm trying to find the exact date that he bounced out.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Jerry left this chat a couple of weeks ago, I believe.

• 55:40Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  It looks like it had to, I tried to add Jerry last night back to the chat, but since Jerry is a green dot guy.

• 55:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  It would completely ruin the chat.

• 55:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  We'd have to rename the chat.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Dark web shit.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  It'd be a brand new chat for everybody.

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  And now I feel like Jerry's gone dark on us. Like, he left.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  Wait, so who, who said to raise the stakes?

• 56:00Speaker 02

  I forget who originally suggested it.

• 56:01Speaker 00

  But then Jerry leave because of the stakes were raised?

• 56:05Speaker 03

  I think you should call him.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think we should call him.

• 56:07Speaker 00

  Call him.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  I think, it might've been Jordan Schultz that recommended we raise, which is very funny considering who his father is.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  Do you think?

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Hey, we could probably, we could probably do an extra like.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  Do you?

• 56:16Speaker 03

  $2,000. Like, nobody here is really fighting for it, right?

• 56:19Speaker 00

  Question, hypothetical question, and this is not against anyone. Um, do we think that Adam Schefter has ever balked at someone saying, let's raise the stakes?

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Uh, probably, yeah.

• 56:34Speaker 00

  You think so? Okay, all right. Fair answer.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  I, I don't know.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  I don't think he's got money like.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  I don't think he's, he would ever be in.

• 56:43Speaker 00

  He's got his bag up.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  I don't think he'd ever be in a group that would suggest raising the stakes.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  He's got his bag up, though.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, we can't even get ahold of our fantasy manager.

• 56:53Speaker 00

  What do you think he's doing right now, Hank?

• 56:55Speaker 02

  Probably retweeting compliments about himself writing the book.

• 56:58Speaker 00

  What do you think he's doing, Hank?

• 57:01Speaker 05

  Probably like showering in the bathroom of a gym somewhere.

• 57:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 57:07Speaker 05

  Like in the sink.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  What else? What else? Give us other, other, what is Jerry doing right now?

• 57:11Speaker 05

  Uh, he's probably waiting to like pick up his daughter from school.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 57:16Speaker 04

  Auditioning for a role?

• 57:19Speaker 05

  Maybe getting some, some dinner for the family.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. Well, actually, Hank.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  No, cause it's.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  You know where Jerry is. Bring him in. No, just fuck with him. He's not here. Um.

• 57:33Speaker 04

  Did you believe that he was here, Hank?

• 57:34Speaker 05

  No.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  All right, well, we got to finish.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  I'm a little.

• 57:40Speaker 00

  All right, well, next week, we're at camp. Jerry's with us, so we'll get to the bottom of it.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  But I, I feel like I am, I'm right to be concerned about this.

• 57:47Speaker 00

  Definitely. Hundred percent.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Who leaves the fantasy football group chat unless they have no desire or intention of returning?

• 57:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  That is, I quit. Is that not an I quit move?

• 57:57Speaker 06

  I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. It's just the green. It's gotta be something with like an iPhone update or, or his phone.

• 58:02Speaker 00

  We might have to buy him a fantasy football phone.

• 58:05Speaker 04

  Phone. That's what I was gonna say.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  Yep, you're right.

• 58:06Speaker 04

  He needs a separate phone just for fantasy.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Should be.

• 58:10Speaker 04

  Fantacy.

• 58:11Speaker 00

  Fantacy.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  It should be a fantacy phone.

• 58:13Speaker 00

  It should be fantacy.

• 58:14Speaker 02

  It should be one of the ones with the, uh, the text buttons on it, the ones that Jeff Delo is reviewing.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  Nope, cuz that would still be green.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Yep. True.

• 58:19Speaker 00

  Hundred percent.

• 58:21Speaker 02

  True, you're right. We gotta, we should, I, I will buy Jerry, I'll get, I'll buy Jerry a new phone before I get myself a new phone.

• 58:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  That's how seriously I'm, cuz it sounds like he just walked away from the sport that he loves.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  And it's quite frankly, not something that you would expect of fantasy.

• 58:36Speaker 00

  Fantacy.

• 58:37Speaker 06

  Fantacy.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  Um, and then, uh, my cool throne, it was gonna be the Chargers, Chargers being Chargers, uh, but it's also the weird relationship between players that used to play for Harbaugh, then going directly to another Harbaugh.

• 58:50Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Cuz Najee Harris is now a giant.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  And I need somebody to, to make a list of like all the players that they've shared. Because it does feel like a fallback career. If you leave a job with one Harbaugh, you can immediately, guess what? You've got, you've got a home with the other.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  On the opposite coast.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, all right. My hot seat is, uh, Penn State students that like cocaine. Because, uh, apparently there was two fraternities running like a Narcos episode, uh, that got busted up. What, Max? That was crazy. That story. You don't think so?

• 59:24Speaker 04

  I, the, the only thing I saw is that the guys were doing drugs in college.

• 59:29Speaker 00

  Can I, yeah, no, but.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  I was gonna do a Max impression. Just go, news flash, frats are doing coke.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. But no, the, the part that was crazy was the alleged, this is all alleged, that they were making pledges like, like cut up bricks as part of their initiation.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  You get free labor.

• 59:47Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  Come on. I agree. Doing drugs in college, who the fuck cares?

• 59:52Speaker 04

  They were, they're like. They were getting bricks?

• 59:54Speaker 00

  They were getting bricks and having like, being like, you wanna be in this frat? Make some fucking bags for us.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  Who told them? Uh, somebody that didn't get in, probably.

• 1:00:05Speaker 00

  No, there was, uh, uh, an undercover, uh, buyer who bought from one of the kids and then I think that kid ratted.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Can't do that, bro.

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can't do that.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Broke the code.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  It's quite a, it's, uh, I would say it's the most significant.

• 1:00:21Speaker 04

  The kids look hilarious.

• 1:00:22Speaker 00

  That's the thing. They basically, a bunch of Cody's got arrested for, for being Pablo Escobar.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  I think one of their dads was helping to run it.

• 1:00:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, was trying to, or hide it. I think he was trying to hide the shit after they were about to get busted.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Oh, so it wasn't the dad that was getting it and then sending it to the, the kids?

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  I, I, I read it very quickly. I think it was like a dad was basically trying to obstruct justice and like, and, and hide all the evidence.

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  Just a good dad.

• 1:00:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. But yeah.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  If your son gets busted.

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  The kids look so young and they were just on their Pablo Escobar shit. So yeah, it's gonna be, uh, I guess there's a, there's a, a power vacuum in, at Penn State now.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  So, yeah, if you're interested, there's market.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  The whiteout.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:01:05Speaker 00

  Uh, also, hot seat is, I'm scared to give any updates about Liv cuz Hank and Max will be mad about it, but Jon Rahm feels like he's leaving. Uh, my cool throne.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  And also, it's gonna be the last tournament coming up.

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  And it's gonna be last year. And are you gonna go?

• 1:01:19Speaker 06

  I think so.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  I was telling Hank.

• 1:01:21Speaker 00

  Fuck, yes.

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  If, if Hank wears his four aces gear, there's a good chance that they, they actually let him play.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  By the last, he might, you might be the fourth ace.

• 1:01:29Speaker 00

  You should show up.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  They're gonna need guys.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's like, Liv is like a softball team and, and your record is like one in seven and you need guys just to finish out the schedule.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  That's what they're like, hey, do you have any buddies that like maybe played in college that could show up? Hank, you can do this.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. And then, uh, my cool throne is hosses because we have Matt Tugboat Wilkinson getting called up by the Giants, two hundred and seventy pound lefty. Hoss.

• 1:01:58Speaker 06

  Beast.

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  So excited. We need more hosses. Dying breed. This guy is an absolute hoss.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  This guy is a giant.

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  I fucking love it. So let's get more.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Tugboat is just.

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  Tugboat is so good.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  Awesome nickname.

• 1:02:12Speaker 00

  Awesome.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  We don't get nicknames like that anymore.

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  For a big dude?

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  That's a nineteen, nineteen twenties ass nickname. Yeah.

• 1:02:18Speaker 00

  That's so good. All right.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  Gentleman Tugger.

• 1:02:21Speaker 00

  Zach.

• 1:02:23Speaker 06

  Uh, my hot seat this week, we talked about, uh, we talked Penn State, we talked Shane, we talked, uh, the guys who fight. Yep, my hot seat this week is gonna be the rest of the NFL cuz did you guys see that Ruben Bain is absolutely putting in at least an extra hour every practice this week?

• 1:02:37Speaker 00

  To what? Get his arms longer?

• 1:02:39Speaker 06

  Uh, no, they're saying short arms, actually with the aerodynamics and the wind, probably a plus side. I don't know if you guys saw that Science on Dudes.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  I did not. Wait, wait, go back.

• 1:02:48Speaker 06

  Science on dudes, get through the wind quicker if you weigh less. Longer arms, heavier, aerodynamics.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  But they also like, they weigh them too, so you need some weight.

• 1:02:56Speaker 06

  That is correct. Definitely have some weight, but if you see the explosion off the line here.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  How many sacks you thinking T-Rex will get? Probably a lot.

• 1:03:03Speaker 06

  T-Rex on a male NFL field?

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Speaker 06

  All the sacks.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Wait, did you say?

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  What about a female?

• 1:03:08Speaker 02

  A female, female or a female dinosaur?

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  I don't think a T-Rex would get all the sacks. We're also just like.

• 1:03:14Speaker 06

  Against other dinosaurs or you're saying?

• 1:03:15Speaker 00

  It's been a really long day. We're gonna get into, uh, dinosaurs playing sports with Pete Crumshaw.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Deep into dinosaurs.

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, so we should save that. But yeah, I, I think you could just run around it. I don't think T-Rex has like la- lateral agility.

• 1:03:27Speaker 06

  So you're saying, oh, so the, the T-Rex is the same size as the other dude? It's a shrunken down one?

• 1:03:31Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  Bull rush.

• 1:03:32Speaker 00

  Huge. No, no, I'm saying a huge T-Rex, but latter, laterally, I don't know how they can move side to side.

• 1:03:37Speaker 04

  Bull rush though.

• 1:03:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they go forward, then you go around them.

• 1:03:40Speaker 06

  I was thinking ankle flick, you know, just.

• 1:03:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. There's better ones for the bull rush.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  You could probably run underneath the T-Rex.

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  Maybe a bull?

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  I would say like, uh, like, was it Allosaurus? I think the Allosaurus is like the, the slightly smaller T-Rex.

• 1:03:52Speaker 00

  An actual bull?

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  I, I said a bull.

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, a bear would be a great nose tackle.

• 1:03:58Speaker 06

  Brown bear, black bear.

• 1:04:00Speaker 00

  Grizzly.

• 1:04:00Speaker 04

  But you could just, yeah, you could just play dead.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  We did this.

• 1:04:03Speaker 00

  Not grizzly.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, what is it?

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  It's, it's, it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, let it mellow.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  If it's white, say goodnight.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  White, say goodnight, is it?

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Speaker 04

  It's brown.

• 1:04:17Speaker 00

  Lay down.

• 1:04:17Speaker 04

  Lay down.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, you play dead.

• 1:04:19Speaker 00

  Black.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  Black.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  Fight back.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  Back. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 1:04:23Speaker 00

  Here we go, boys. If it's grizzly, you're fucked.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  If it's grizzly, you can't block it.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  No, it's polar bear.

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  No, I know, but grizzly's also, you're fucked.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Polar bear's a brown bear.

• 1:04:33Speaker 00

  Is it?

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, uh, grizzly bear's a brown bear. Yeah, grizzly bear's a brown bear, polar bear, that's the one that like, if it sees you, you're dead.

• 1:04:40Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  I spend, uh, listen, this was a weekly topic.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  All grizzly bears are brown bears, but not all brown bears are grizzly bears. Got it.

• 1:04:50Speaker 00

  Let's talk in bears. What about if.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  They're back.

• 1:04:53Speaker 00

  Joey Camasta.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, lay down.

• 1:04:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. Say what's up. Love Joey.

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, no, same thing. Stop standing your ground.

• 1:05:03Speaker 00

  Cool throne.

• 1:05:04Speaker 06

  My, uh, cool throne this week, we Netflix, uh, because Netflix announced that we're going to get an extended look presentation of GTA six. They're gonna give us a cinematic view.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Speaker 06

  Which will be sick.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  So we get, we get a Netflix special on GTA six before we get GTA six.

• 1:05:19Speaker 06

  That's also true.

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  Okay, so my theory is that.

• 1:05:23Speaker 06

  Is there a release date officially? Uh, you could preorder, uh, there's been like three release dates in the last like four years, so that's always gonna be up in the air. But I mean, if we're gonna get like a cinematic look into the game, pretty exciting.

• 1:05:35Speaker 02

  I feel like they're going to just make like every video game inside this one video game.

• 1:05:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, you can like go play three V three basketball just as like a, oh, there's a park, let me just go play two K or like, oh, there's.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:45Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  Or it's like, oh, uh, there's a recruiting station. Now I'm playing Call of Duty.

• 1:05:50Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  And you, you like get shipped off to war. Yeah.

• 1:05:53Speaker 06

  They test your eyes, like, oh, no, you can't fly, gives you a rifle.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, there's, it's gonna be every video game wrapped up into one.

• 1:06:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, and San Florida, home game for some guys, should be good.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  Good job, Zach.

• 1:06:07Speaker 06

  Same to you guys.

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  All right, let's do, we got two great interviews, Pete Crumshaw and Joe Buck.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Before we get to PCA, he's brought to you by our good friends over at BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Uh, BetterHelp is the best place to go, uh, for therapy. Lots of people need therapy, not just if you think that you've needed to talk to a person for a long time. I think day to day, everyone's life could be a little bit better if they spoke with a therapist. You've heard me talk about BetterHelp for a long time. I don't know that we've ever actually talked about how much people love the service when they use it. You can check it out yourself, betterhelp.com/reviews. You can see amazing customer reviews in real time. They have an average live therapy session rating of four point nine out of five based on over one point seven million client review sessions. The feedback from people who've actually used the service speaks for itself. More than six million people have used BetterHelp.

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  The consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to choose BetterHelp. BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and a thousand hours of hands-on experience. They also hold all required education, training and certification across a range of mental health specialties. BetterHelp makes it easy to get started. Answer a few questions, get matched with a therapist based on your needs. Switch therapists at any time if it's not the right fit. See the reviews, see what stands out and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com/pmt. That's better H E L P dot com slash P M T. Check out BetterHelp today. PCA is also brought to you by our great friends over at Aura Frames. Aura Frames is a absolutely great present to buy either for somebody else or for yourself.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  Aura Frames make it easy for kids to see themselves grow from their back to school photo to graduation, every milestone in between. Uh, the Aura Frame has been one of the best gifts I've ever gotten from my mom. I can upload pictures to it from across the country. Uh, new one pops up there, she'll call me up, ask me a question about it, and it's a good conversation. If they love seeing you, your parents wanna see more of you, get them an Aura Frame. Um, I think I said on the podcast that the last time I went to go visit my mom, I walked in the living room and the first picture that was up there was me and Jerry on the El Camino. She was like, oh, who's your friend? Aura Frames enhance the daily life without overwhelming it, surfacing meaningful memories in a way that feels ambient and additive. Add as many photos and videos as you want and you can keep adding from anywhere at any time.

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  Download the free Aura app, text photos straight to your frame, reach number one in the app store on Christmas Day in two thousand twenty-five. It's a great product. They keep every milestone on display. Name number one by Wirecutter, you can save now by visiting auraframes.com. Maybe if you got a, uh, kid going off to college, get them an Aura Frame, put whatever pictures you want on there. Name number one by Wirecutter. For a limited time, listeners can get thirty-five bucks off select frames plus free shipping with code P M T. That's A U R A frames dot com, promo code P M T. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. And now here's PCA.

• 1:09:04Speaker 00

  Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. It is, uh, well, I'm gonna say you're gonna be MVP. I don't want to put that on you, but I think you're gonna be MVP.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  If you're not, we riot.

• 1:09:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, we riot. It's Pete Crow Armstrong from the Chicago Cubs, fresh off one of the best games, regular season games I've ever attended on Monday night, where, let's start with this game, because you hit a homerun to start the game and a homerun to end the game. And I think I saw the stat that the last time that happened was like 1964 or something, which is insane. Uh, were you in the zone? Cause it feels like you were in the zone. You just were seeing the ball perfectly on Monday night.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  I mean, I, dude, I made, I made up my mind that I was gonna, that I was gonna swing at the first pitch two hours before the game. Um, cause I, I had, I was scuffling for what felt like three months, but it was the last seven games or whatever, and I was like, man, I'm just, I'm playing defense again. So I was like, I gotta go out there and I'm making my mind up now that I'm gonna swing. And sometimes that's just, that's all you need is like, I ended up swinging the fucking first pitch three, three of my first four at bats, I think.

• 1:10:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:22Speaker 03

  Um, that doesn't always work, but that's, that's exactly what I needed yesterday. So I think it got me, it got me back in like that, that, uh, that attack mode.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  Wait, so you just said, so this is what I love about you, cause you, like, reading everything and knowing you a little, like, you're hard on yourself to, to a point where it's like, dude, you're, you're about, you're like the odds on favorite from MVP. You just said you were scuffling for three months?

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  What it felt like again, like perspective is important.

• 1:10:50Speaker 00

  You just went 30, 30 back to back seasons, first time in Cubs history.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:55Speaker 00

  Um, but scuffling.

• 1:10:57Speaker 03

  The, the Kansas City DC road trip, that felt like, that felt like the longest time ever. Cause I, last year, when I was, when I was hot, like I took for granted how easy it felt and I kind of forgot what baseball was really like.

• 1:11:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, like that, that was the first week that I had that kind of struggle with the punch outs. And I wasn't walking, I was putting weak ass contact in. So like, it felt like a long time, uh, and then getting smoked by the Cardinals didn't help.

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  So like, I think, you know, I, last year I could have let that, that compile and, and snowball and really trend downward, but I'm not making decisions like that. I'm like, there's an active choice to, to like, a sense of urgency.

• 1:11:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, be aggressive when you, yeah, because that, that's a big thing about your season, which has been awesome to watch, is your ability to, to take pitches, like what, when did that start to click for you? Like I, I even look back, I think, I think it was the Kansas City series, might've been before that, where you did an ABS, and I think it was like point oh two of an inch that it was a ball. And you were right, it's like, how the hell did he see that? But that's, feels like how you've been seeing it all year.

• 1:12:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's a, that's a decent way to put it. Like, that's a, that's a good representation of like, of how confident I feel about, you know, or at least where my understanding of the strike zone has gotten this year. That was a lucky guess, that one, like, that was a, that was a cutter that kind of backed up. And, you know, it's supposed to come back my way and it, it presented itself like it went the other way. So I thought it was a change up and I was like, well, if it, if that was a change up and it's going the other way, that was definitely a ball. And then I saw it inching, inching, inching closer to the zone and I was like, fuck, no. Um, but yeah, like, I think the Kansas City series was one of my favorites that I'll probably like,

• 1:12:59Speaker 03

  look back on now, cause I think I got one hit, maybe two hits in the, in those three games, but I walked five times.

• 1:13:06Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  Um, you know, that's what I'm most proud of this year is, is my ability to, to get on base that way. Um, it, but it started this year, like, I, I think, uh, there's different ways to, to play the game and have it bats. Where like, I'll just, like last night, um, my walk last night, 1-0, like, I'd made up my mind that I was gonna take 1-0. Cause a lot of guys like to go strike the ball with me, they like to get me to chase 1-0. Um, and so I was like, fuck it, I'll just, I'll show bunt, try and.

• 1:13:39Speaker 00

  I remember that, yeah.

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  Try and see if we can get the third baseman crashing, open up the field a little bit. And then it ends up being 2-0 and then I'm not swinging 3-0 against a lefty. Like, it's just, it's diff, I've, I've learned how to play the game a little bit differently this year.

• 1:13:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can, I mean, obviously you can notice in your numbers and your patience at the plate.

• 1:13:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  Once you get on bases, are, have you ever been too aggressive?

• 1:14:00Speaker 00

  Hell yeah.

• 1:14:01Speaker 02

  How do you dial yourself back? Because that's like a strength of yours, is like you need, you are super aggressive.

• 1:14:06Speaker 00

  Well, people try to take back your cycle because you got picked off right after.

• 1:14:09Speaker 02

  Right, that was funny.

• 1:14:11Speaker 03

  I don't blame them for that. I, I would be the first one to be like, yeah, that's, I don't, I wonder if that's ever been done.

• 1:14:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  If we want to talk about firsts, like, who, who, who does that? Who actually lets themselves get picked off after fucking.

• 1:14:26Speaker 00

  It was, well, it was, it was a perfect PCA moment, because I mean, I, I would assume you're not really online much during the season, but like, there's, I think, everyone in Chicago defends you to like the, the nth degree. I know I'm at the front lines being like, he's the best. And then there's some haters, so you getting a cycle, which is objectively like an incredibly hard thing to do, and then getting picked off, it's like you just gave that red meat to the haters to be like, buddy got picked off.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was giving the people what they wanted.

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, do you, do you always have the green light?

• 1:14:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, for the most part, I mean, there, there's times like, uh, after, after I hit that single in my second at bat and Seiya's up, when he just took Castillo 110 miles an hour to dead center, I'm like, two outs, I don't, I don't need to run here. Um, but then we get to two strikes, I'm like, I trust in Seiya's ability to, to like have a real at bat and, and extend the, the at bat. So I'm, I'm a little more aggressive, I think, later on in, in that at bat, but, um, picking and choosing, like, I, I think, uh, there's just certain guys that are too, too fast to the plate, where I'm like,

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  again, I trust in hitters two, three and four to, to at least advance me or whatever it is. And, um, but yeah, I think for the most part, the green light is, is always there, unless it's, you know, we're getting our ass kicked or vice versa, and there's just no need for it. Like, I think there's always benefit to getting on second base.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, would you say, is it better to hit a walk off homerun or walk off, steal home?

• 1:15:59Speaker 03

  Uh,

• 1:16:02Speaker 03

  like the, the baseball nerd in me probably says the stolen base and, you know, forcing an error. But I've never hit a walk off homer before, so that, probably the homer, the homer felt.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  Long ball, that's the right, it's the right answer. Guys like me that would never be able to hit homerun would say like, actually stealing home is better. Like, Tim Kirkson would tell you, stealing home is better. But then people that can hit home runs are like, yeah, nothing like a long ball.

• 1:16:27Speaker 00

  Wait, had you never hit a walk off in any level of baseball?

• 1:16:30Speaker 03

  I hit a, I hit a, uh, no, well, I hit a walk off in AAA, I hit a, I hit a walk off in double, I did, but there's no way to compare last night to any of those.

• 1:16:43Speaker 00

  It felt like the bat flip was, was planned, you launched that thing.

• 1:16:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I honestly, I was, I was walking and I, I think that was my time to, to think of what I was gonna do to celebrate. And then I was just like, fuck it, let, let it eat.

• 1:16:57Speaker 00

  Throw it, throw it as far as you can.

• 1:16:59Speaker 03

  Don't hit Seiya, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:03Speaker 00

  Oh man, yeah, it was, it was an incredible, incredible night. And, uh, yeah, I mean, it's just been awesome to watch this season. It feels like things, have, do you feel like things have clicked? Because last year, you had an incredible start and then it, it tailed off. But even your, your pitching coach said it in an interview, I think in the off season, he's like, if Pete has that full season every year, like he's gonna have a really good career. But you're your hardest critic and you're like, I need to do it for the whole entire year.

• 1:17:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, um, you know, if last year, if I hit, I, I hit what, like six homers in the second half last year? If I hit six homers in the first half and 25 in the second half, it'd be a completely different conversation just because of the the way that the season went, right?

• 1:17:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  And, um, like I turned it on a little bit in the playoffs, but still, it wasn't like, I was not a complete player and I, I didn't feel like my season was a, it was a complete season, but Nico. Phrased it in such a, such a great way for me. He was like, um, I mean, I guess I already gave it away, but he was like, if you would have hit six and 25 in a different.

• 1:18:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:07Speaker 03

  How would you feel looking back at 31 homers and these RBI, I'd have been like, well, you're right. So he's like, seasons are going to shape up how they shape up.

• 1:18:18Speaker 03

  If you wanna feel any type of way about the numbers at the end of it, like.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  Feel the type of way about the numbers and the numbers only, like you hit 31 homers last year.

• 1:18:31Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  That's really good, no matter how you did it. This year though, I, I don't feel like. Again, I'm making a conscious choice that I'm not going to give it away. I, I know I can walk now. I know I can, um. I know I can get on base in a much different way than last year and, um. I feel like if the season were to end today or yesterday, like I would feel very, I'd feel very proud of like what I improved on.

• 1:18:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'd say maybe the biggest improvement is, is the number change.

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:03Speaker 00

  You are faster.

• 1:19:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, way faster. Like how did, how did that all go down? Because you are so much faster.

• 1:19:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, less, uh, yeah, there's, there's less going on back there. I mean. Jed though, it was Jed dude, he.

• 1:19:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:15Speaker 03

  He, uh, we would like, we would just put up shots before stretch in the morning during spring and, uh, Naperville legend, Nicky Lopez. Him and I were out there every morning just about and, and Jed, I guess gets a lot of shots up, uh, on his own, like at whatever gym he goes to.

• 1:19:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  And, uh, so I guess Jed's got a pretty good jumper and he was like, hey, man, like, you ever feel like you're wearing like a lineman's number? And I was like, well. Yeah, but this is one of the three choices I had when I debuted. So it's not entirely like what I want to wear. And, um, he was like, all right, well, I, I think you need a fast guy number and. Uh, four had just become available. So he was like, if I make their shot, like you're changing your number. And I was like, okay.

• 1:19:58Speaker 00

  He was right.

• 1:19:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:59Speaker 00

  He's right. Like, it's actually great for idiots like us because we say that all the time. Like there's fast guy numbers and there's slow guy numbers. And, uh, yeah, anything in the 50s is not a fast guy number.

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  I think 55 is a, not a fast guy number maybe, but like I would.

• 1:20:14Speaker 00

  If you had to pick the fastest of the 50s, I would agree.

• 1:20:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd say it's, yeah.

• 1:20:19Speaker 00

  Although you can't put that number, that's Jaden Daniels. You know. Out of respect. I appreciate you changing your number out of respect for Jaden.

• 1:20:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know.

• 1:20:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, can't have the five on there.

• 1:20:28Speaker 03

  We've had some conversations. I, I don't even want, I don't know if I want to get into that one.

• 1:20:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is, uh, the, the four, the number change has been huge.

• 1:20:38Speaker 03

  Made all the difference.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 00

  Uh, I have a question about your defense. Like, is there ever a ball that you're like, I can't get to it because you're just. I think you're so fast and so good with, off the jump that you make plays that are not normal. Look normal and that almost skews people to be like, well, yeah, of course he got to it. It's like, no, you don't realize he got to that because. He's jumping faster than everyone else. So are there ever like, are there ever balls like, no, I can't get this because I feel like you can get to everything.

• 1:21:07Speaker 03

  Uh, a lot of the times there's, there's balls that I'm like, I have no chance, like. That bias kid, I, I, I gave him a little courtesy jog on that first homer, but in my, in my right mind, I'm like that. That's going to go on to wavelength through center field.

• 1:21:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, true.

• 1:21:24Speaker 03

  He's going to do something that's never been done before ever. Uh, yeah, there's, there's balls that, especially if the wind's blown out, like. Any ball over my head in left center, I'm usually like, that's, that's a homer unless it's hit super low.

• 1:21:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  But, no, like I'm, I'm always like, Adam Jones, I guess, had some saying, um. He, he told me this. He was like, if, if it hits grass, it's your ass. So that's, I literally remember that every day.

• 1:21:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  And, uh, so maybe that helps me get to more, more baseballs, but no, there's, I mean, there's always balls that. O'Neal Cruz hitting 121 mile an hour line drive through the three, four hole against the wall. You're like, come on, bro.

• 1:22:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, those are, yeah. Boy, let me ask it a different way. This is very powerful with big cats doing right now because like he, since we want you to win MVP.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:18Speaker 00

  He will be your propaganda. Oh, I already have done it. So like saying, if somebody, he's already thinking about the counter arguments. I don't see him making too many diving catches because it's like, well, that's because he's so fast. He gets a jump, doesn't have to. It's like when we bet on, uh, Travis Hunter to win.

• 1:22:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:30Speaker 00

  Heisman. It's like, well, actually he doesn't have that many interceptions because they just don't throw. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Shohei had two home runs last night and I was very quick to say that it was in Colorado in a blowout. That does not like Pete's home runs mean more. All right. So let me ask it a different way. Are you ever surprised by your own speed where you overrun one and you're like, oh shit, I gotta slow up here to make the catch? Cause I've, I've noticed that sometimes. Where at the very end, you're like, you're almost past it. You're like, fuck, I was too fast for that.

• 1:22:57Speaker 03

  There's been a few times, yeah, like Nolan Gorman hit me a ball in St. Louis that I overran and kind of like slid backwards for. That was last year. There's little, there's little ones like that that come to mind for sure. Um, but I feel so comfortable like. And this is such a baseball player thing. Like you watch, you watch like Dansby catch fly balls. Like he let, he, he catches it like here and. Everyone's taught to catch it above your face and keep it in front of your eyes. And I'm like. I just feel comfortable off my right shoulder.

• 1:23:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:26Speaker 03

  If I am going to my left and it looks like I overrun a ball, like sometimes that's on purpose. Cause I'll just, I like catching it here.

• 1:23:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Speaker 03

  But yeah, I mean, sometime, like when I first started doing this new little prep step that, that we worked on last spring. I found myself getting the balls that I was like, oh.

• 1:23:49Speaker 00

  Wait, what's the prep step? All the youngsters out there, listen up.

• 1:23:51Speaker 03

  If you were to watch an infielder, if you were to watch like Dansby or Nico, they just do like a little hop.

• 1:23:56Speaker 00

  Hop, yeah. You guys all do it at the same time.

• 1:23:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Like the whole defense.

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  Well, the Quentin Berry got our, all our outfielders to start doing that. Um. I, I mean, I, I can't speak for a Happer, but I know Seiya has been doing a little hop. Um. And it's just the whole like object in motion stays in motion until whatever, like the, you're faster if you're already moving.

• 1:24:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:19Speaker 03

  If you're, even if you get a later reaction or whatever it is, like if you're already moving, you're the first. However, many important feet covered are going to be better than if you're just standing still. So like. I, I bought into that and that it, it works.

• 1:24:34Speaker 00

  That's awesome. If only there was like a nickname that we could give it with your name. Oh. What kind of hop would it be?

• 1:24:42Speaker 00

  Would it be crow hop maybe?

• 1:24:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:45Speaker 03

  Rebranding the crow hop. Well, yeah.

• 1:24:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like that. All right. I, I've asked too many like, uh, questions that are basically loaded to be like, you're so awesome. So now here's, here's a, a, a not, you're so awesome question.

• 1:24:55Speaker 03

  Grill me, fuck.

• 1:24:56Speaker 00

  When everyone chants PCA, I feel like you strike out.

• 1:25:00Speaker 03

  A lot of the time.

• 1:25:00Speaker 00

  We gotta stop it.

• 1:25:01Speaker 03

  Dude, I mean, if you go back to last year.

• 1:25:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:25:04Speaker 03

  Pull up some fun stats, do some, do some research on, on when I was having my name chanted.

• 1:25:10Speaker 00

  Yes. I would literally sit in my seats and be like, stop, everyone stop. Like he's going to get too hyped up.

• 1:25:16Speaker 03

  I was right there with you. I, and it was, no, I, my asshole got tight, dude. I wasn't like, I wasn't hyped at all.

• 1:25:23Speaker 03

  This year has been so much better with that though, like, uh, my hitting coach was like, hey, uh, you know that they're cheering for you, right? Like it's not like these are the opposing fans and all the energies with the pitcher. Like it's all for you, dude. And I was like, okay. Like we'll see.

• 1:25:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Speaker 03

  Let's, let's, let me just succeed a couple of times when they are chanting and then, um. It's, it's been better this year, but I, I feel the same way.

• 1:25:48Speaker 00

  Okay. So was it, yeah. Cause it was just like, I, I remember just being at games late in the season, being like, can we not do the chant? Like let him just, let him just bat.

• 1:25:57Speaker 03

  Dude, it, it, it was like, uh, it felt like more of a responsibility that I had to get a hit.

• 1:26:02Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:26:03Speaker 03

  Those people were up, up on their feet and, and giving me that kind of love. I was like, I have to do this now. And when you're pressing, it's never going to work. So like, yeah, you're right, man. That, that'd be a fun stat.

• 1:26:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cause it's like, it's just human nature. You hear your name being chanted and you're not going to take a pitch.

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:21Speaker 00

  If it's close, it's like, I want to swing.

• 1:26:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:23Speaker 00

  These people want to see me hit a homerun.

• 1:26:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:25Speaker 00

  But that's not always a smart thing.

• 1:26:27Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:26:27Speaker 00

  So maybe just don't chant on, if you have, if you have two strikes against you, no PCA chants.

• 1:26:32Speaker 03

  You know what? But again, like this year.

• 1:26:35Speaker 00

  It's been better. Yeah.

• 1:26:36Speaker 03

  I can, I can, I, I play the game differently. I feel comfortable taking. One oh, like just because it's a hitter's count, I don't gotta, I don't have to swing. So like, you know, maybe if it's like a two oh, maybe let's not.

• 1:26:50Speaker 00

  Okay. I like that.

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  Cause then I'm like, all right, like I want to let it eat.

• 1:26:54Speaker 00

  Right. Yeah. Let's let them see one. Yeah.

• 1:26:57Speaker 03

  But a lot of guys don't throw fastballs into accounts anymore. So I don't know that. I think that's a good point though. Like,

• 1:27:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:03Speaker 03

  It's the coolest thing ever at the same time.

• 1:27:05Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:27:06Speaker 03

  That's what you, that's the kind of shit that gives you chills and like they were chanting my name before the inning even started yesterday.

• 1:27:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:13Speaker 03

  And I've never, I've never had that happen to me before. And that was really, that was really cool.

• 1:27:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're probably going to do it before your first at bat tonight.

• 1:27:21Speaker 03

  That'd be awesome.

• 1:27:22Speaker 00

  Like it definitely is going to happen.

• 1:27:23Speaker 02

  I've, I've got some really dumb questions for you. You have to figure out which one was asked by Stephen Che.

• 1:27:27Speaker 00

  He was the one who's, who's sitting, again, Stephen Che was the one who was sitting in with the Cubs jersey in a seat that he never sits in.

• 1:27:33Speaker 03

  All right.

• 1:27:33Speaker 00

  And I was like, why are you sitting there? And he's like, what? I always sit there. Like, no, you don't. It's because Pete's coming in. So.

• 1:27:38Speaker 02

  Okay. So I'm going to ask you three dumb questions and you have to find the Che. Uh, question number one, you're a five tool player. What's your favorite tool?

• 1:27:48Speaker 03

  My, my glove, my defense is my fa- my favorite tool.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  That's a good tool.

• 1:27:53Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:27:54Speaker 02

  Um, second, will you sprint to first base if you get a walk?

• 1:27:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  Never?

• 1:27:59Speaker 03

  Never, never. I, I, there's like one guy that can do that is Brandon Nimmo, cause he's done that his whole career. If I were to do that. I've looked like an idiot in so many ways this year that I, I don't need to, I don't need to add to that.

• 1:28:13Speaker 00

  We, we tried to get Ozzy Albies to do it for us.

• 1:28:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:16Speaker 00

  And Matt Olson was like, you guys are idiots. He literally never walks. He's like, it's never going to happen.

• 1:28:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. His chase rate is like off the charts. Yeah.

• 1:28:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. Like that guy's hitting balls off his shoelaces. Cause he swings a 40 inch bat.

• 1:28:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:28Speaker 03

  That guy's impressive, man. I love it.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  I think Patrick Wisdom said he would do that for us.

• 1:28:31Speaker 00

  He did.

• 1:28:31Speaker 02

  If he got a walk in that one specific series.

• 1:28:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:33Speaker 02

  And the third question, um, do players get annoyed having to sing, take me out to the ball game every game during the regular season? It seems like that would be an annoying song. Like imagine you at your office, if you had to sing a song every day at work.

• 1:28:47Speaker 03

  All right. So.

• 1:28:48Speaker 00

  That would be the Che one. That's the Che one. Yeah.

• 1:28:50Speaker 03

  I was going to go with the second question until you read that one.

• 1:28:53Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  Uh, I mean, does he think that we sing along?

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  I think he might. Yes. I think he might think that. Yeah.

• 1:28:59Speaker 03

  No, no, man. Like, uh,

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  there's nothing worse than when somebody does a poor job.

• 1:29:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Do you guys notice that?

• 1:29:08Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah. Um, who was it that came to Wrigley?

• 1:29:13Speaker 00

  Alex Cooper.

• 1:29:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:13Speaker 00

  Yep. Former coworker of ours.

• 1:29:15Speaker 03

  You know, I, and again, like if you, not everybody's got a good voice, but it was just, it was the way that, that, uh,

• 1:29:23Speaker 03

  that it felt like she wanted it.

• 1:29:25Speaker 00

  She was like kind of mocking it. Yeah.

• 1:29:27Speaker 03

  It was a slight, it was a slight mock job.

• 1:29:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:32Speaker 03

  So like that kind of stuff irks me sometimes, but again, like if you get the opportunity to sing a stretch, like you're going to do it how you want and like, you know, I don't get annoyed by the song just because I'm, I'm either really pissed about getting out before and I'm like, all I can do is rerun the, the, the at bat or whatever. Or I'm pretty pumped or, or say is making some funny faces at me in right field.

• 1:29:54Speaker 00

  All right. Wait. So, uh, follow up Che question. I'm going to follow up the Che question with the Che question. Will you sing it at some point this year? Just to test it out?

• 1:30:04Speaker 03

  Running out to center field?

• 1:30:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. Or if you're coming, you know, if it's at home.

• 1:30:08Speaker 02

  At home, you'd always be coming in. Yeah.

• 1:30:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. But like, would you, would you consider maybe just one time and you let us know how it goes?

• 1:30:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:15Speaker 00

  Sing along.

• 1:30:15Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:30:16Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:30:16Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:30:17Speaker 02

  End of one. You have to start saying end of one.

• 1:30:19Speaker 03

  All right.

• 1:30:19Speaker 02

  End of two.

• 1:30:20Speaker 03

  And I gotta finish with, let's, let's get some runs.

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  Let's get some runs. Yeah. You should say that to the boys in the dugout. Let's get some runs. Get them started up.

• 1:30:27Speaker 00

  Hey, they're asking for runs.

• 1:30:29Speaker 03

  You know what? Uh, you know, my, my favorite, we, we all do this in the dugout is when they do the hefty, hefty.

• 1:30:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:30:35Speaker 03

  The whole dugout in unison and hefty. It's great.

• 1:30:39Speaker 00

  I, I like, I dream about like, I think my, my two dream jobs, and I have a dream job, so I shouldn't, shouldn't like say this, but my two dream jobs would be the host of Price is Right. And then being a baseball, uh, bench coach. So like not the manager.

• 1:30:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:55Speaker 00

  Because it feels like the, the dugout, and I guess it's game to game. It feels like the best hang ever. Is it?

• 1:31:01Speaker 03

  It's pretty great.

• 1:31:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:02Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah, like I, I, I wasn't like the, the best guy to be around in the last three days, but for the most part, the dugout is, it's, it's like such a place where you can just kind of tune out in a way.

• 1:31:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  But the bench coach, I don't know if you're ever really just hanging as the bench coach. Like.

• 1:31:23Speaker 00

  Oh, and if I was the bench coach, that's what I'd do. I'd be a vibes bet guy.

• 1:31:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:27Speaker 00

  Just being like trying to pump up the boys, maybe doing the light, the shoe on fire thing.

• 1:31:31Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:31:31Speaker 00

  Yeah. That kind of stuff.

• 1:31:32Speaker 03

  You'd be the, the prank guy.

• 1:31:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't think a bench coach has ever been the prank guy.

• 1:31:37Speaker 03

  You never know.

• 1:31:38Speaker 02

  I think he catches invented a job for himself.

• 1:31:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:40Speaker 02

  Bench coach is what he would envision his job to be.

• 1:31:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:43Speaker 02

  Just like hang, just good hang.

• 1:31:45Speaker 00

  Just hang out.

• 1:31:46Speaker 03

  I think every dugout could use some of that.

• 1:31:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. A hang guy.

• 1:31:50Speaker 03

  I think every dugout could use a hang guy.

• 1:31:52Speaker 00

  Okay. I'm going to apply.

• 1:31:53Speaker 02

  What about a first base coach? What does a first base coach do when they're not taking your gloves, giving you the sliding bit?

• 1:31:59Speaker 03

  Uh, um, the,

• 1:32:04Speaker 03

  uh, there, ours is on the iPad looking at like, set times and times the home plate, um, pickoff moves. He, he does a lot of work like, you know, I don't really know what he's doing during the inning, but that guy is like on the computer all day, all night. Like,

• 1:32:28Speaker 03

  what can we, what edge can we get on this guy when it comes to, like, like I was saying about guys who have really fast times to the plate, like all of the Kansas City Royals. It's like, he's looking for one thing. Like a lean or something like Kershaw. You remember how Kershaw always had like that funky slide step?

• 1:32:43Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 1:32:44Speaker 03

  He always leaned into it and you could, you know, there's just shit like that, that, that the first base coach looks for, but

• 1:32:51Speaker 03

  my first base coach gives me the ick sometimes because he wraps like all of my gear really tight and he makes my batting gloves all crunched up and crumpled. So I got an issue with that.

• 1:33:04Speaker 00

  You gotta tell him. I think you just gotta be honest with him.

• 1:33:06Speaker 03

  But he's done it all year, man.

• 1:33:08Speaker 00

  Oh yeah. Now the superstitions.

• 1:33:10Speaker 03

  I don't need him to, I just have the bat boy, me and the bat boy are.

• 1:33:14Speaker 00

  He knows to, to unfurl him and yeah.

• 1:33:17Speaker 02

  Are you afraid that you're going to hurt his feelings? If you're like, hey, can you, can you fold my gloves differently?

• 1:33:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cause it could be like, dude, why didn't you tell me? I thought you liked them like this.

• 1:33:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. When dad does laundry and you're like, that's not how mom usually folds.

• 1:33:29Speaker 03

  I, I should, I should just have an honest conversation. I should.

• 1:33:32Speaker 02

  Maybe now you are. Maybe this is how, that might be worse though. He's like, I had to find out about this on a podcast.

• 1:33:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, I know the first thing I'm doing when I get to the field.

• 1:33:41Speaker 02

  I want to get ahead of this.

• 1:33:42Speaker 03

  I gotta beat him to the punch.

• 1:33:43Speaker 00

  Heads up. All right. I, I got two, two questions. We're doing the dumb question portion. Uh, so I got a, a guy who's, uh, helps me with prep, VP of Big Cat Corp. Shout out him. He's, he's been helping me for like a decade now. He's got, he's a Cubs fan and he's got two sons, nine and 12, who are the biggest PCA fans. So he, he wrote me two questions and it's like, hey, this is your chance. So this is from, is verbatim. This is from Hank, the nine year old. How did you know that you could have power to hit home runs? And have you always hit home runs like when you were younger?

• 1:34:15Speaker 03

  I didn't hit very many homers when I was younger at all. Like I, I was that little slappy, uh, I'm going to shoot the five, six hole. Uh, I can hit a nice little good looking line drive in the left center gap. Uh, but then like my senior year of high school, I kind of like tapped into some more power. Um, I just didn't know how to swing prop. Like I didn't know how to pull the ball properly. Um, and that's not really even something I figured out until last year. So, uh, I always knew that I was like baseball strong. Like I'm not really that strong otherwise, but I always knew that I could hit balls very flush and far.

• 1:34:59Speaker 03

  But I would say it was like 2022 or three. So like my first or second year of pro ball where I was like, I, I, I got some juice.

• 1:35:06Speaker 00

  So that, that's a good answer. Cause I, I, I'm just, uh, inferring here. I don't know, uh, Hank, the nine year old, but I, I'm guessing he probably doesn't hit a lot of home runs. He's wondering when he can start hitting home runs. So it could come later.

• 1:35:17Speaker 02

  You're nine years old.

• 1:35:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35:18Speaker 02

  Like, uh,

• 1:35:20Speaker 03

  I hit my first home run around nine.

• 1:35:22Speaker 00

  Okay. So you're behind Hank.

• 1:35:24Speaker 02

  Not really. You say maybe she's, when he's turning 10, man.

• 1:35:29Speaker 00

  All right. And then Reed asked, he's 12. He said, what is better, stealing a base or hitting a triple?

• 1:35:36Speaker 03

  I'd say stealing a base. Triples, like triples are pretty rewarding, but I feel like usually like you don't hit triples like very hard. Like.

• 1:35:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's a weird bounce or something.

• 1:35:48Speaker 03

  Absolutely. Especially at Wrigley. Like I've snuck so many balls like off the end of my bat down the line. Um, I'd say stealing bags. Cause,

• 1:35:59Speaker 03

  I think it's, it's more of like a, I think it's more of a demoralizing thing for pitcher catcher combo. Like that they just gave that up. Like you're going to give up hits as a pitcher. So, you know, if you give up a two out triple, it's still two outs and it's same thing as a guy being on second base.

• 1:36:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:36:15Speaker 03

  I'd say stealing bags. Stealing third base specifically is probably the most rewarding way to steal a bag.

• 1:36:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:36:20Speaker 02

  I've got one dumb one and then one that I think isn't dumb, but maybe it is dumb. So you can tell me.

• 1:36:24Speaker 00

  And then we'll get back to regular questions.

• 1:36:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, actually the entire interview is just.

• 1:36:27Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, you could get the vibe. You know, you know us. We're dumb guys.

• 1:36:30Speaker 02

  Whole podcast.

• 1:36:32Speaker 03

  That dumb though.

• 1:36:33Speaker 02

  Do you change the way that you play defense at Wrigley field, given when the Ivy grows in?

• 1:36:39Speaker 03

  That's a, that's a, that's not your dumb question.

• 1:36:42Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  What were you about to say? You were about to say to what question?

• 1:36:45Speaker 03

  No, that was actually a pretty cool question. I've never.

• 1:36:47Speaker 02

  Cool question.

• 1:36:49Speaker 03

  I don't think that was dumb at all. Um, no.

• 1:36:55Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't, I'm still thinking about this though.

• 1:36:58Speaker 02

  That's maybe the best answer that we've ever had.

• 1:37:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. That's a great answer for a cool question.

• 1:37:02Speaker 03

  I'm still thinking about this. Um, no, cause, cause like the, the ball, uh, I, I guess like specifically I would play balls off the wall differently if that, like early in the year when the Ivy is non-existent. Um, but you still get some pretty like hard bounces off the, off the brick, even when the Ivy's in full, full form. Um,

• 1:37:29Speaker 03

  I definitely feel a little more comfortable going into the Ivy when there's more of it than when there's none of it.

• 1:37:34Speaker 02

  That could also get you in trouble because it looks welcoming and then you kind of forget, oh shit, there's brick behind there.

• 1:37:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's, it's not like so cushy as it looks. It's, you, you find the brick pretty fast. Um, And then, but when there's no Ivy and it's just the roots and the branches or whatever, that shit hurts. Like, I've been cut up and it's uncomfortable for sure.

• 1:37:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, cool answer.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  That was a good question. Cool question.

• 1:37:59Speaker 00

  The other question I had was after the Dodgers series, I, I saw like some of the interviews that you did right afterwards where your answer was like, that was pretty cool, but you know, ultimately it's, it doesn't mean much until we play them in the playoffs. But was there a part of you that after that, like it, it did something to, to the belief that the team has where it's like, we can beat, you know, the best teams in baseball and we don't need to be scared of them when it is time in the playoffs.

• 1:38:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I, I don't know if, if that series really did that for, cause excluding, excluding Tokyo last year, like we, we had the season series against them. Um, I think four to two. So we've always loved like going and playing those guys. The same way we love going and playing the Brewers. Cause they got the best, they got the best staff in baseball and Milwaukee does. So like, they're honestly, as much as it pains me to say, like they're a really fun team to play against and just to kind of appreciate. And as are the Dodgers, like they have the best player of all time on their team. And then

• 1:39:02Speaker 03

  you got, I mean, you had at least three Hall of Famers on the field at, at one time with Shohei, Freddie, Mookie.

• 1:39:11Speaker 03

  So I don't, I don't think we ever needed to like prove to ourselves that like we could hang with them or that we would want to see like we, we, we want to see whoever it is in October.

• 1:39:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:39:25Speaker 03

  And you know, yeah, we, we love playing those teams. Those are some of the easiest games to get up for and, and really lock in for us. It's like, it's like a precursor to October baseball.

• 1:39:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, the, the game on Monday night felt like a playoff atmosphere. It really did. Like I, I was feeling it and like I had the same nerves as a playoff game.

• 1:39:46Speaker 03

  Absolutely. Yeah. That's what you guys create though. Like that's what, and it's not the same at every stadium, but, but that's what fans help us with and do for us.

• 1:39:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:39:57Speaker 03

  You know, if, if there was nobody in the bleachers, like that'd still be a crazy game to be a part of. Cause we're all, we're all competitors, but like, you know, that's, that's what you want to, that's what you want to be playing in front of.

• 1:40:07Speaker 00

  Also, I, I did see your quote about the fight in the bleachers. Good catch at the end.

• 1:40:11Speaker 03

  Right?

• 1:40:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:12Speaker 03

  I mean,

• 1:40:13Speaker 00

  I mean, it is unfortunate. You shouldn't fight in games, but there was competitive, like they were being competitive out there. Dude, the whole, I, were you in the field for that?

• 1:40:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:22Speaker 00

  The whole stadium stopped and like looked out there.

• 1:40:24Speaker 03

  Telling me, I was right there with them.

• 1:40:26Speaker 00

  It was crazy.

• 1:40:26Speaker 03

  I could, I could hear skin on skin.

• 1:40:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:29Speaker 03

  That was the upsetting part to me. I was like, man, like,

• 1:40:34Speaker 03

  you know, I, again, I'm all for like the, the trash talking between fanbases and all that stuff, but I'm like,

• 1:40:40Speaker 00

  No, you're a loser if you fight in a, in a pro sport. There's nothing to do, like, what are you doing, man?

• 1:40:45Speaker 03

  Especially in the bleachers.

• 1:40:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:40:46Speaker 03

  Like,

• 1:40:46Speaker 00

  No fighting in the bleachers.

• 1:40:47Speaker 03

  I saw a fight last year. I, I feel like Philly was here, but it was just this, it was this one dude. He looked like a former lineman. He was massive. He was taking on everyone, but uh, there was like a solid eight rows of people that all fell.

• 1:41:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, right. Kids out there. Yeah.

• 1:41:04Speaker 03

  Were getting picked up and carried out. And I was like, that's, that's where I'm slightly upset by that. I think it's not so exciting. I, I'm, I like watching a good scrap sometimes, but.

• 1:41:15Speaker 00

  UFC.

• 1:41:17Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:41:17Speaker 00

  UFC is great. That's sanctioned. Let's not get the same. Yeah. We, we need like the, the, like a message on the Jumbotron. Like I'm Pete Crow Armstrong. No fighting in the bleachers.

• 1:41:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:26Speaker 00

  That'd actually be funny.

• 1:41:27Speaker 03

  That'd be good. I, I loved left field after that too. Cause they, they'd started the, the right field such chant right away. I was like, see?

• 1:41:33Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:41:34Speaker 03

  That's, that's how you handle that.

• 1:41:35Speaker 00

  And it was going back and forth. All right. I got, so last time I think you did a podcast was a couple of weeks ago with Chris and Cavallari. I have a, I, I think you got your, your stories mixed up.

• 1:41:45Speaker 03

  Probably did.

• 1:41:46Speaker 00

  Okay. So the, the dinosaurs don't exist.

• 1:41:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:51Speaker 00

  Babe Ruth was maybe Dominican. What? That's the, that's.

• 1:41:56Speaker 03

  I haven't heard that one.

• 1:41:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:41:58Speaker 02

  Wait, you said, you said Babe Ruth doesn't exist.

• 1:42:00Speaker 03

  All right. All right. So I'm sure y'all will find the, the whole clip, but, and again, if I'm just completely blowing smoke here, forgive me.

• 1:42:11Speaker 03

  I did, I don't buy into the conspiracy. So I, I feel like I did my due diligence and I, I, I at least started it off with, I don't really believe in conspiracies, but if I had to find one funny, it would be this.

• 1:42:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:42:23Speaker 03

  So if I'm going to save my own ass here.

• 1:42:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:42:25Speaker 03

  Is that like,

• 1:42:26Speaker 00

  That's fair. That would be funny. I will agree with you on that. If Babe Ruth didn't exist, that would be hilarious.

• 1:42:30Speaker 03

  I think that would be like the craziest folklore of all.

• 1:42:33Speaker 00

  I'd agree.

• 1:42:34Speaker 03

  Of all time.

• 1:42:35Speaker 00

  Hundred percent agree.

• 1:42:35Speaker 03

  So for the dude that did say it on a podcast to come out and say that, I was like, that's pretty fucking funny. That's ballsy.

• 1:42:45Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:42:46Speaker 03

  And funny. So I was like, well, shit, I'm not in front of a baseball crowd. Like they're not gonna, and then of course everybody.

• 1:42:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. Everyone took it. But yeah, I, the, the, it's dinosaurs don't exist. That's the old, I think Carl Everett. Yeah. Carl Everett had a belief that if you didn't see it with his own eyes, it didn't exist.

• 1:43:00Speaker 02

  Or like Helen Keller might not have been totally blind. Here's that one.

• 1:43:04Speaker 00

  Or Stevie Wonder's not blind. But yeah, Babe Ruth being Dominican is like a real theory online.

• 1:43:09Speaker 03

  No way.

• 1:43:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:10Speaker 03

  You have to send me.

• 1:43:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, I will. I will.

• 1:43:12Speaker 02

  We have some, yeah, some literature for you to peruse.

• 1:43:14Speaker 03

  We have some literature and.

• 1:43:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. The PMT book.

• 1:43:17Speaker 03

  God, if this gets me.

• 1:43:19Speaker 02

  So wait, for the record.

• 1:43:20Speaker 00

  No, no, listen, we say, the, the, the best part about this show is we say the dumb stuff. You just have to sit there.

• 1:43:24Speaker 02

  Gun to your head. Did Babe Ruth exist? Did he walk this earth?

• 1:43:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. I would, I would assume that he did, like.

• 1:43:31Speaker 02

  Okay. We're not, we're not all the way there yet.

• 1:43:33Speaker 03

  But like Carl Everett, if you didn't see it.

• 1:43:35Speaker 00

  All right. Gun to your head. If you had a, uh, let's say a T-Rex, 400 at bats in a season, how many home runs is he hitting?

• 1:43:44Speaker 03

  Zero.

• 1:43:45Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:43:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's correct.

• 1:43:46Speaker 00

  Okay. Cause he doesn't have the wingspan.

• 1:43:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. You don't find a bat that works for that.

• 1:43:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:49Speaker 02

  The strike zone on that guy would be unreal.

• 1:43:52Speaker 03

  The strike, yeah. The strike zone would be massive.

• 1:43:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:55Speaker 03

  The arms would not be conducive to a good baseball swing.

• 1:43:59Speaker 00

  What would be the best?

• 1:44:00Speaker 02

  He would get hit by a lot of pitches though.

• 1:44:01Speaker 03

  What? He probably would.

• 1:44:02Speaker 02

  If he crowded the plate.

• 1:44:03Speaker 00

  What dinosaur would be the best at baseball?

• 1:44:06Speaker 02

  I think, um, the one, the ankylosaurus, the one that's got the tail that's the club. Just use that as a bat.

• 1:44:10Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:44:11Speaker 02

  That, that.

• 1:44:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. That's the ankylosaurus.

• 1:44:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that guy would rock.

• 1:44:14Speaker 03

  That really come up?

• 1:44:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, it did. It, with its low, heavy body for a solid batting stance and a massive club tail, they can swing. So they would use, they wouldn't even use a bat.

• 1:44:22Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:44:23Speaker 00

  Uses tail.

• 1:44:23Speaker 02

  Tiny strike zone.

• 1:44:24Speaker 00

  Damn. You got your dino knowledge down.

• 1:44:27Speaker 02

  I've been, I've been going to a lot of museums recently. Yeah. Although that might not have existed. That's the only problem.

• 1:44:32Speaker 00

  Pterodactyl is number two.

• 1:44:34Speaker 03

  What do they say about a velociraptor? I feel like pinch runner.

• 1:44:37Speaker 00

  All right. I got, I got the, it's, it's the pterodactyl two.

• 1:44:40Speaker 02

  I think Raptors got a lot of good PR from Jurassic Park movies. I've read some more that they might not have, they weren't even that big. Like they were the size of a, like a dog.

• 1:44:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:44:49Speaker 03

  Oh, they were tiny?

• 1:44:50Speaker 02

  But yeah, but in the movies they're kind of vicious though. They make these things look awesome.

• 1:44:53Speaker 00

  We gotta get this updated because it says pterodactyl would be, uh, defensively gifted because it can fly. It would have Kevin Kiermaier-esque range in centerfield. That should be Pete Crow Armstrong range in centerfield.

• 1:45:04Speaker 03

  No, no, no, we can, we can still give that to KK.

• 1:45:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:45:06Speaker 03

  He's, he was.

• 1:45:07Speaker 00

  He was the, he was the shit. All right. And the apotosaurus, uh, it was tipping skills as, at as many as 33 tons. The apotosaurus is one of the largest dinosaurs of all time. Uses huge tail as a whip to deter predators, making it the rough equivalent of Prince Fielder, but with better bat speed.

• 1:45:26Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:45:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, no shit. Prince Fielder kind of taking a shot on that.

• 1:45:28Speaker 00

  Yeah. Damn.

• 1:45:29Speaker 02

  How much did that thing weigh? 33 tons?

• 1:45:32Speaker 00

  That's, yeah, that's kind of mean to Prince Fielder.

• 1:45:34Speaker 02

  What was it like on, on, on measurement day? Where they're like, hey, we got to measure you for the strike zone.

• 1:45:41Speaker 03

  You, I mean, we literally did it like during, during camp.

• 1:45:46Speaker 03

  Just went to the weight room. They had the MLB people come in. You had to like lock your legs out.

• 1:45:54Speaker 03

  You'd actually, you'd, you'd rather them mark you shorter than you think you are. So like, a lot of egos were, were hurt, but, uh, at the same time, like,

• 1:46:04Speaker 02

  It's better.

• 1:46:04Speaker 03

  It helps you out. Yeah.

• 1:46:05Speaker 02

  I didn't want to point any fingers. I think, I think Bregman might have been hurt the most. Did you see that? I think he was listed as like six, one or six feet and he's, he's five, nine. Listen, I'm five, nine. We can't be, we can't be out there telling people that we're six feet tall.

• 1:46:19Speaker 03

  I don't know how you do it. I, I mean, he didn't, he didn't need the extra two inches. The guy's got 30 playoff homers, like.

• 1:46:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:46:28Speaker 03

  But yeah, he's not, he's not six feet at all. I think he'd be the first to tell you that too.

• 1:46:33Speaker 02

  He should just say, yeah, you know, I tricked the system. I, I stood in a way that made me look shorter.

• 1:46:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:46:38Speaker 02

  So he's playing like 3D chess.

• 1:46:40Speaker 03

  Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah.

• 1:46:44Speaker 00

  All right. I know, I know you got to run in a minute. This has been so much fun. I got a couple of last questions. Uh, so your dad grew up a Cubs fan. How, is he just like, text you every now and then just being like, I, I love you even more now. Cause like that, what a, what a crazy story to have. Your, your dad is a Cubs fan and now you're the best player on the Cubs. Like that's crazy.

• 1:47:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's, I appreciate him because he's, he keeps his emotions to himself. Like,

• 1:47:11Speaker 03

  he was geeking when I got traded. He was, I was rehabbing in Florida and he was in town, him and my mom, just to visit. And, uh, I, so like I, I found out in the car on the way to lunch and they had already been there. So I, I think my dad, like, he excused himself from the table, uh, right before I got there and like had a little moment for himself. And I think that's, if, if I, that's how I'll, I'll put the last few years.

• 1:47:37Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:47:37Speaker 03

  Uh, it's just that, like he, I, I don't think, I think he knows I don't, I don't want it to be anything bigger than like, I'm just, if I was a national, I'd hope you'd feel the same way.

• 1:47:48Speaker 00

  Right. But you know, deep down.

• 1:47:50Speaker 03

  But I think, I think deep down, he's, he's having a really good time.

• 1:47:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. Like you have siblings, right?

• 1:47:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:47:57Speaker 00

  Oh, you don't have, I was gonna say you're, you're the favorite child. You're the favorite. I mean, that would have been easy one.

• 1:48:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:02Speaker 00

  Only and favorite. Um, and it also is crazy, like the serend, like, I don't wanna say serendipity, but, Javi Baez, you get traded for Javi Baez. Javi Baez was maybe the most electric cub in the like, you know, that stretch.

• 1:48:14Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:48:15Speaker 00

  And then you're the most electric cub and it's like, it's just so cool. And it's like, have you had those moments where like, I watched the world series with my dad. I watched Javi Baez and then I got traded for him to the Cubs.

• 1:48:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, yeah. Um, yeah. That I, I, yeah. I don't know how to talk about it really.

• 1:48:37Speaker 00

  Cause it's crazy.

• 1:48:38Speaker 03

  Cause it is crazy. That was my favorite player.

• 1:48:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:48:41Speaker 03

  That was my favorite player by far. I, I, I remember trying to hit like him in the cage. I remember, um, ah, God, I remember just everything about that guy. I remember his first homer in Coors, like, he just, he was the most exciting thing to ever happen to my childhood, probably. Cause I was just, I was all about sports and, um,

• 1:49:08Speaker 03

  I did not believe it when, when I found out really, um, but yeah, I got to meet him last year. I got to say thank you for just existing, cause that's, that's why I'm here now.

• 1:49:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:49:24Speaker 03

  Um, that guy was the shit. Like he was, he was the coolest. I don't love like baseball tattoos, but if anybody's gonna have the MLB logo on their neck.

• 1:49:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:49:37Speaker 03

  It's that motherfucker.

• 1:49:37Speaker 00

  His love for the game. Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:49:39Speaker 02

  And did he get it before he got to major league baseball?

• 1:49:41Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 1:49:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, he did. That's awesome.

• 1:49:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:43Speaker 00

  He did. Um, all right. Last couple of questions. Uh, first one, can you, uh, put on the headphones real quick? So I have a, a que, a question for Pete that is related to Max, our producer. Max is a really good baseball player. He was the Matt Stares of the CAA. Played at Hofstra. No big deal. We went and did, uh, we, we went and did batting practice at Wrigley. He was like, what, maybe like eight feet from going out. He's a lefty.

• 1:50:09Speaker 04

  Wind was blowing in.

• 1:50:09Speaker 00

  The wind was blowing in. Do you have any tips for him to hit a homerun?

• 1:50:12Speaker 04

  I think it was 20 miles an hour in from, from right field.

• 1:50:15Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was the day that I ate the sunflower seed. You said, what did you think, by the way, when you saw that clip? Were you like, that's kinda weird?

• 1:50:21Speaker 03

  Nah, that, I kinda thought that that was some shit that I would do too.

• 1:50:24Speaker 00

  Yes, respect. Yeah. And I, and by the way, you said, at least it wasn't my dip. I would take your dip. So.

• 1:50:29Speaker 03

  I wouldn't let you do that.

• 1:50:31Speaker 00

  Just wanted on the record.

• 1:50:32Speaker 02

  I, I've been eating grass at every cool stadium that we go to, like just one piece of grass. So like I ate the Tiger Stadium, like in Death Valley and LSU ate that grass.

• 1:50:39Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 1:50:40Speaker 02

  Wrigley grass is, I think it's the tastiest.

• 1:50:42Speaker 04

  This is the first I'm hearing of this. You've been doing this?

• 1:50:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've noticed it.

• 1:50:46Speaker 02

  It's been on camera, Max.

• 1:50:48Speaker 04

  That's pretty, that's pretty good.

• 1:50:49Speaker 00

  It's really fucked up when we go to synthetic fields.

• 1:50:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I try.

• 1:50:52Speaker 00

  He just eats the rubber pellets.

• 1:50:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I have to, I eat it and then I go to the bathroom.

• 1:50:56Speaker 03

  Have you done any soccer fields yet?

• 1:50:58Speaker 02

  I don't know that I've done a soccer field grass. That is good grass.

• 1:51:01Speaker 00

  That's good grass.

• 1:51:02Speaker 02

  It's good grass.

• 1:51:03Speaker 00

  But he's done golf courses? He does every golf course he plays at?

• 1:51:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think, uh, I think Wrigley Field has the tastiest grass of any stadium that I've been at.

• 1:51:09Speaker 03

  Shout out Dan Kiermaier, actually. Kevin Kiermaier's brother.

• 1:51:11Speaker 00

  Brother's the grounds crew. All right, Max, what's up? Max, yeah. Help Max out.

• 1:51:17Speaker 03

  All right. If, when the wind's blowing in, you got two choices and it's to go at either scoreboard, cause it, it just blocks the wind. Um, wind could be blown in 40 and if you hit it low enough at the left field scoreboard, it's gonna go out. If you hit it low enough at the right field scoreboard, it's gonna go out. Um.

• 1:51:35Speaker 00

  That's good tip.

• 1:51:35Speaker 04

  I was just trying to go down the line. That, that's a good tip. Yeah.

• 1:51:38Speaker 03

  You just gotta yank, bro. It's, it's, when it, when the wind's blowing in, you just win in doubt.

• 1:51:42Speaker 00

  You gotta yank. Yeah.

• 1:51:43Speaker 04

  Yank it.

• 1:51:44Speaker 02

  You're yanking.

• 1:51:45Speaker 00

  I like that. Um, all right. And then last question, Roback question, R H O B A C K dot com.

• 1:51:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:51:50Speaker 00

  Promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Q zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com. Zach, you ready?

• 1:51:56Speaker 06

  How are you doing today? I did have a quick question. That's cool to you. Um, so when we're sitting in the stands as fans, we see you go absolutely yard at Wrigley. We know that's gotta be an insane feeling for you, but population percentage wise, none of us are gonna experience that. Very minimal. Some guys get close, like eight, eight, 10 feet. But is there a common man's feeling you can closely compare it to?

• 1:52:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um,

• 1:52:28Speaker 03

  I would say, I would say like, like making an eagle and, and three perfect shots.

• 1:52:37Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:52:38Speaker 03

  Um, I think I related to that, cause like I'm, I'm grinding my ass off trying to play golf, you know, like that's, some rewarding, it's, it's like, that's some rewarding shit. So like that, or, or, or like when a, when like a dog really likes you and the owner said that they weren't, they don't like anybody.

• 1:53:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like that.

• 1:53:04Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:53:04Speaker 02

  That's, yeah, that's a good one.

• 1:53:05Speaker 03

  Good feeling.

• 1:53:06Speaker 00

  I was gonna say like the, hitting like the last shot in beer pong twice where it ends the game. That feels good.

• 1:53:12Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:53:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:53:13Speaker 03

  Um, yeah. No rebuttal.

• 1:53:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. No rebuttal. Feels good. You feel like the man in that moment.

• 1:53:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, maybe like a real life 2K green bean, like you hit that perfect three on 2K.

• 1:53:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

• 1:53:33Speaker 03

  I, I like my dog one though. I think.

• 1:53:34Speaker 00

  The dog one is relatable. Yeah. Where it's like, oh, this dog's not friendly. It's like just licking, just like loving you and just nuzzling up.

• 1:53:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. My buddy's uncle had like a, a rottweiler puppy and he was freaking huge and, um, he kinda had him as like a guard dog. So he'd always be leashed up out, out in the backyard and, he was like, you can go like look at him if you want. And I was like, nah, fuck that. I got this. And next thing you know, like, I can't, he can't, he can't get rid of me. I can't get rid of him. And, I would say it's like that.

• 1:54:02Speaker 02

  It's a great feeling.

• 1:54:03Speaker 00

  That's a great feeling.

• 1:54:04Speaker 02

  Can you bat flip after that? Like how, after, walk it off? Yeah.

• 1:54:07Speaker 00

  Maybe a bone for the dog?

• 1:54:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Flip a bone.

• 1:54:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:54:09Speaker 02

  Treat sent to the moon.

• 1:54:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. Or you just, or you just walk off and, and play your, I, me and my boys always talked about if we had like one song to have like a, um, like a walking montage in a movie or something like, what would it be? I would just start playing that song.

• 1:54:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:54:28Speaker 03

  And just walk off all cool.

• 1:54:30Speaker 02

  What song?

• 1:54:31Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know what mine would be, but if you could have like one song in like a movie montage of like, the shit's blowing up behind you and you're walking off in slow mo, like what would that song be? That's a conversation me and my friends have a lot.

• 1:54:45Speaker 02

  That's a good Mount Rushmore.

• 1:54:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, we should do it. We'll do it.

• 1:54:48Speaker 02

  Free bird.

• 1:54:48Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 1:54:49Speaker 03

  Free bird, free bird is, is probably a, a pretty popular choice.

• 1:54:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:54:54Speaker 03

  I like that one.

• 1:54:55Speaker 00

  It's a good one. Well, Pete, thank you so much for coming in, man. Massive fan. I'm, I'm on the front lines. I hope you know. I hope you see me on the front lines.

• 1:55:03Speaker 03

  I do.

• 1:55:03Speaker 00

  Um, it sucks, cause I do have to get like, we do, we do it every now and then, but I, I have to get a little dirty and I have to, I have to slander, but that's fine. We, sometimes you gotta slander when you're in an MVP race. You know, you gotta just, you just gotta go out and just, just start batting. We gotta do some negative, you know, publicity stuff.

• 1:55:19Speaker 03

  I'll tell you that I appreciate that behind the scenes.

• 1:55:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:55:23Speaker 02

  You cannot condone it.

• 1:55:24Speaker 00

  No, I actually feel like so. I, I love getting in like a, a season long debate and just like, I'll just, when I'm bored, I'll just fire it up and be like, here's some PCA stats. Here's some Shohei stats, like debate me. Like, like, come on, let's go internet.

• 1:55:37Speaker 03

  Get you off, man.

• 1:55:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, hopefully we win the debate. But yeah, you're the man. Thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.

• 1:55:44Speaker 03

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:55:46Speaker 02

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• 1:56:46Speaker 00

  Okay. We now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is Joe Buck, our good, longtime friend, Joe Buck. He wrote the foreword for our book that is out now. And I gotta start with that, Joe. First of all, thank you. I cannot believe you did that. It's actually, I, I, I got a little teary eyed reading through the table of contents and being like, why the fuck did any of these people like agree to do this? It's pretty damn cool. Uh, so thank you. Would you say this is the dumbest book you will be part of? Uh, no. No. I don't think that. I, I, well, there's a few things I have to say of what you just said right there.

• 1:57:28Speaker 00

  First of all, I was publicly shamed into writing the foreword to your book because it was about a year ago. Yeah. Uh, I think we had the Bears, week one against the Vikings and I came to your studio and you basically on the air or whatever the internet, asked me if I would. Write the forward. Now, I'm, what am I going to say? No, it takes an hour, maybe, maybe not that long. And so I did it. I'm glad I did it. No, it's not the dumbest book that that I could be associated with. I'm excited to do it. And the answer to your question is, why would any of these people agree to do any of this? Because we don't want you two pricks to turn on us. True. We're terrorists.

• 1:58:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, it's like, you know, I'm keeping you close. So I can do a little bit of work. Yeah. To keep you guys on my side if you're there. And, you know, we just go forward in life. That's actually, I mean, it's a totally fair, like, like, one hour of your time to, to get us to not turn on you and attack you. Like, that's a good trait. I think it is. I mean, I, I think you make trades in life. You're constantly bartering. And the one thing that I have to barter with, with you guys is my time. And I gave you an hour or so. And tell me the name of your ghostwriter? Are we allowed to say? Matthew, yeah, yeah.

• 1:58:56Speaker 00

  Matthew is really talented. Yes. And so I, I, I actually dictated all of this into my notes. I wrote, I wrote a page. And then I said, you know what? This is too slow. I don't want to give this much time. And I dictated it into my voice notes, sent it to him. He crafted it. I recrafted it. That's what came out in the wash. He's fantastic. I'm actually, because it's him, I'm very excited to read this book and, and get kind of a peek behind the curtain even more with, with the two of you.

• 1:59:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, we appreciate it, Joe. Thank you very much for your time and for doing that. It means a lot. Also, because we can put your name on the cover. And that's our, that's our trick. Like, to everybody out there that's thinking about writing a book, you should just network until you have people that are in your circle that you can ask to write your own book for you, under threat of turning on them and turning their lives into an online hell afterwards. That's the best way to write a book.

• 1:59:58Speaker 00

  Hmm. If you roll the tape backward, the last person I wrote a forward for in their book is Artie Lang. Oh, great. Okay. All right. So I, I went from the debacle on HBO with the Joe Buck slash Artie Lang show that was canceled after nine minutes, to then getting to have a friendship and relationship with Artie, who's fantastic. I knew he would be. I, we, he's got his demons and they're well documented. But I, he asked me, that, that's how far we got in our relationship to where he said, well, I'm, I'm coming out with my second book. Would you write the forward? And the answer was obviously yes. So

• 2:00:39Speaker 00

  it goes Artie Lang, then you guys, and then I, I, I don't know who could possibly be next. Well, I mean, when we do a sequel to our book, you'll have to do that as well. Pardon my book again.

• 2:00:51Speaker 02

  And we'll write the forward to your book if you want us to.

• 2:00:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 2:00:54Speaker 02

  That's an open invite to you.

• 2:00:56Speaker 00

  You write, like, one every? I've written one. Yeah, every two years, you write one. I actually have a question about the, and we, we did an episode way back where we talked about the Joe, the famous Joe Buck episode. We had Artie Lang on, we had Paul Rudd on. So in this book, in our book, we talk about our pursuit for TV, and we were on ESPN for one day, one episode. When you were getting pitched the Joe Buck Show, was it, was it in your head, you're like, yeah, you know what? I do need a TV show. Because we, going through the process of writing this book, we kind of revisited it and been like, man, were we stupid to think? Yeah, you know what? We do need a TV show. Like, that's what we do. Like, that's, that's what, yeah, we need a Pardon My Take show. Like, that's how it works. Did you have something similar where you're

• 2:01:41Speaker 00

  like, yeah, I need a Joe Buck show? Of course. Well, I, I, so Ross Greenberg forever had been talking to me about wanting to do a show, and Bob Costas had stepped away. And so it was an obvious, you know, I was filling in for his show. I wanted to take it in a very different direction. And so when I was, you know, in talks with Ross, I said, it's got to be edgy, it's got to be fun, it's got to be funny. I mean, I know how you guys do stuff at HBO, and it's very highbrow, and it's very well done. And, you know, you kind of set the standard for a lot of these magazine shows, certainly with sports. Would, would you be

• 2:02:24Speaker 00

  open to doing that? And the answer was yes. And, and in fact, I was the one that, that was adamant about getting Artie on the show, because I was a big Stern fan, and I knew he was a big sports fan. Rudd was a longtime friend. And then he kind of wrangled Sudeikis onto that. David Keppner was a part of this kind of last comedy piece. It was a great lineup. Sudeikis wasn't really Sudeikis yet. And, you know, Rudd was Rudd. And then I said, we got to have Artie on to have some edge. And, and the story's old by now, but I went into him before, I met him before we walked out on stage. And I said, hey, man, I want you to let me have it. I, I want you to come at me. I want

• 2:03:07Speaker 00

  you to have fun. I want this to be just kind of nuts here at the end. Little did I know, as he admitted in that book that I wrote the forward to, that he snorted Vicodin and drank Jack Daniels before he came out there. I wasn't aware of that minor detail. Yes. And then it kind of went off the rails. But I'm glad I did it. And when, when that whole thing came down, I remember being on, we've probably done this, probably this is the exact interview we've done before. But I remember walking off the stage, and it was just kind of like, it was just like a pregnant pause, kind of, it was hanging in the air. Now what? Because that was

• 2:03:49Speaker 00

  like, the end of it. It's like, all right, good night, see you in a month, or whenever we're doing the next one. And, and then I went right out and talked to the writers who were going to review it. And the guy from the New York Times said to me, Joe, do you feel like you just got cornholed on national TV? The Times. The Times. Times. Yeah. The New York Times used the word cornhold. I swear to God, I, I can roll that back in my mind. And then the New York, the New York Post guy, the stringer for the New York Post said something like, is TMZ really your favorite website? I was like, we're done. We're done. This,

• 2:04:32Speaker 00

  this is not going anywhere good. But, but at the time, I thought, you know, if this were on Fox, and it was David Hill in charge, he would have kind of charged out there like P T Barnum, like, this is what you're going to get on this show. You never like, embrace it. And, and to me, it was like, everybody ran and hid, which I hated. Yeah. And that's why I, I basically, Tom Cruise jumped on the couch saying, Artie Lang is coming on the second show, or I'm not. I'm not doing it if Artie doesn't come on. And he did our cold open. I had to talk to the head of HBO, Richard Plepler. It's a long, boring story, but I had to basically say, look, I've already got a day job. I'm already, I'm being hit by Artie Lang jokes every time I

• 2:05:15Speaker 00

  walk into stadium. Let, let, let him come back on. Yeah. Let's have fun with it. Yeah. And, and let's, and, and, and if you don't let me do it, then I'm, I'm just going to quit. And they let me do it. I'm glad they did. And I, I struck up a friendship with Artie, who apologized. And I said, no need. I told you to do that. And, and we all go forward in life. But I, I'm glad I did all that. Yeah. I feel like you learn, there's no way you guys don't look back at that time on, on that show and go, there's something you learned. Yeah. And beyond just the, you know, we shouldn't have done the show on ESPN or whatever it was. There's something that you took from that that made you better today. And, and there's no doubt that applies to HBO and me.

• 2:05:57Speaker 02

  For sure. Yeah, a hundred percent. And if that New York Times reporter had done their job, they would know that TMZ is not your favorite website. Artie said what your favorite website was on the show. It's suckingcock.com.

• 2:06:09Speaker 00

  Yes. I don't know if it was C or the D word, but I, yeah, I, I, it was, it was one of the two. But it was like, okay, this is what we're doing. Got it. Yeah. I think I'm good. I got to go to the bathroom. I've been out here for an hour and a half.

• 2:06:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was great.

• 2:06:22Speaker 00

  But you said, and we talked about in the book, like, the, the, I have, I have a great job outside of this. I don't need, you know, like, this doesn't make or break me. That was the big lesson we learned when we did the TV show. It's like, oh, shit, like, what? People are going to listen to us, whether we have a TV show or not. Why do we, why do we care about this anymore? Yeah. And, and I, yeah. And I think, you know, for me, had, had all that transfer, if you go, I think that was like 2009, somewhere in there. If it's 2026, and that trend, I, I might be in a different place with Artie Lang. But I sat there, in my mind, every time the director, great director, Mark Payton, shot me. I can just, I, when I watch it, I can watch my mind turning like, do I jump down in here with him?

• 2:07:07Speaker 00

  Cause I'm gonna lose.

• 2:07:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:08Speaker 00

  But I'm gonna try to stand up for myself. Or am I just gonna sit here and grin and, and fake smile? And just hope it ends soon? And, you know, and, and you just, I, I think I would maybe do it differently today. Maybe I would, I don't know, but I, I, I think you, you learn from all that stuff.

• 2:07:29Speaker 02

  And I, I'm not saying this is true for every TV show, but I have noticed over the years that a lot of, even the most successful TV shows, they end up hating doing television towards the end of, of the run. If not like as they're actively putting out great TV. So like Seinfeld walked away when it was the biggest show on earth. Chappelle walked away, biggest show on earth. The Game of Thrones people hated doing that show by the end of it, by that last season. And it kind of showed at the end. Um, I, I just think that what we learned from is that we have a great thing going right here doing a podcast. And so why, we don't have to do a TV show just because that might be on, you know, in, in airports or in gyms across the country. Uh, we've got a great thing here. Let's not strive for what we have. The grass is not, it's usually not greener than it is in front of you. So it's a good learning experience.

• 2:08:15Speaker 00

  And I, it's a different world now too. I mean, that, that, when you do that, when, when you did that, when I did the HBO thing, it, that, that's a long time ago now and the media has evolved. And this is, you're doing a TV show, you're, you're already doing it. So, you know, it's, if you want to go mainstream, I was excited to be on HBO. I would still be excited to be on HBO. I love, a lot of those guys are still really good friends of mine. And, and the frustrating thing for me was after all that thing came out or that, that kind of that debacle happened. I, I asked them about the ratings and like, oh no, the ratings were really good. And actually the rating went up during the hour. And I said, well, can you put that out?

• 2:08:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 2:08:57Speaker 00

  They said, uh, no, uh, we don't really talk ratings at HBO. I was like, well, can you make an exception? Can we, can we have one thing in our column? That's good. And, and the answer was no. So I, I would do it again. It would be different, but I, I would kind of want to do the same show, weirdly enough. And, uh, and I, I kind of like that stuff, uh, e- even though it, it probably didn't work out in my favor.

• 2:09:21Speaker 02

  Uh, speaking of ratings, wait, who has the Super Bowl this year?

• 2:09:26Speaker 00

  We do.

• 2:09:26Speaker 02

  Oh, really? Oh, yes. Oh, I hadn't heard. You guys hadn't told us.

• 2:09:29Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, I, I, I assumed that's why you were, were saying that.

• 2:09:33Speaker 02

  Dude, are you, are you a NFL merchant when it comes to ratings? Do you, you know, you, you basically just get to ride the NFL for all your ratings. You, do you open up the ratings? You see the ratings the next day and you're like, did it again. Joe Buck, Monday Night Football, another hit.

• 2:09:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cause I know they're all tuning in to go, what's he gonna say? Honey, gather, get the kids. It's Joe and Troy. Uh, no, I, I mean, do I look? Yeah. I want, I want my bosses to be happy. I, I want the people who pay a lot of money, uh, to the NFL to be thrilled that we got a great rating. But I, I'm also not of the mind of like, you know, I, I affect that. I, I think the only time, maybe if the game is a blowout and we're having fun, a few people may stick around. Uh, it, but maybe not. So I, I don't, I, I am not delusional.

• 2:10:27Speaker 02

  Are, are you, are you, you've called NFL for a very long time. I actually saw, I think it's the longest punt return.

• 2:10:33Speaker 00

  My 33rd year.

• 2:10:36Speaker 02

  I, I saw the longest punt return, I think it was, uh, was a Saints game from like late nineties. And it was you on the call. And I was like, oh my God, that's Joe Buck. Cause your voice is a little higher and it's just like, holy shit. He's been calling this for a long time. Thirty, the 25.

• 2:10:54Speaker 00

  But yeah, I was just out of the womb.

• 2:10:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. Is it, uh, are, are you shocked at all? Like the, the NFL, did you ever think it was gonna get to this level where it's like, it's just when they, when they do the top 100 shows of the year, it's like, maybe there's one Olympic event and, and the Oscars and then 99 NFLs.

• 2:11:13Speaker 00

  It's, yeah, it's between like 88. The only gap is like, there's 12 shows.

• 2:11:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:11:18Speaker 00

  Literally that aren't football related, which is crazy.

• 2:11:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:11:24Speaker 00

  Well, no, I'm, I'm glad it's gotten to this point. I think if it was at this point back then, the growth has been exponential, been incredible. I think if it was at this point back then, I probably wouldn't have gotten a chance at 25 to do uh, major network football. Um, when that call went out and David Hill and, and Goran, you know, they paid all that money for Summerall and Madden. They had a great number two team, Stockton and Matt Millen. And then it was like, hey, we're gonna give a bunch of people who we haven't seen on network TV forever a shot. Are there any famous announcers who have kids?

• 2:12:05Speaker 00

  And, uh, it was like me and Kenny Albert and Brenneman and, and Kevin Harland. And I mean, it was, it was kind of crazy that all of us had a dad who was involved somehow already in either broadcasting or football media, in the case of Kevin Harland. But we all showed up there like, what in the hell are we doing here? Let's figure this out together. Uh, I was with Tim Green, who was just off the field and had never done any TV. I'd never done football. Uh, but we fumbled our way through it, so to speak, the first couple of years. And, and then you learn and grow, just like we were talking. That's what this business is all about is just kind of trial and error and fake it till you make it.

• 2:12:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know if you've seen any of the like uploaded footage from the 1999, 2000 NFL seasons online, but I, there's a conspiracy out there. They make the broadcast look way worse than it was at the time. Like if you, if you look up a 1999 NFL game, it looks like it's straight out of the seventies. The way that you see it on YouTube.

• 2:13:06Speaker 00

  The graphics are massive. Uh, it looks grainy.

• 2:13:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. But I watched those games. They, they looked good at the time. It did not look like that. They're trying to make us feel old by having like.

• 2:13:17Speaker 00

  I think you may be misremembering.

• 2:13:19Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:13:19Speaker 00

  As a famous person once said, I, I, yeah, I think, you know, with high definition TV, I, I remember being in telecom classes. If you go back to my college days, like back in 89 and 90, and they're like, man, when this high definition TV comes and, and they had the, they had the technology. They were just worried about rolling it out because it would force everybody at the time, it would force everybody to buy new hardware, new TVs. And it was like, it's gonna, well, this is gonna be the way of the future, but it is. I, I assume that in the late nineties, we were not in high definitionville. It, it, that's what it looked like.

• 2:14:02Speaker 00

  That's how different our brains and eyes are now watching games with this crystal clear picture, like you're there. Uh, I, I, I do think that's kind of how it looks. I'm sorry to say.

• 2:14:13Speaker 02

  So, um, I was looking at the ratings from the World Cup this summer. Were you rooting against the World Cup ratings? So you could say like, Monday Night Football is still king.

• 2:14:23Speaker 00

  Boy, I have never thought of it in those terms.

• 2:14:25Speaker 02

  I would be if I were you. Right. You're a liar. Yeah. You were waiting on Neil. You put alerts on for Neil.

• 2:14:32Speaker 00

  Compared soccer, am I supposed to say soccer and football against football? I, no, I don't. That is one where I do not.

• 2:14:40Speaker 02

  You didn't think about soccer at all?

• 2:14:41Speaker 00

  Like that.

• 2:14:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:14:42Speaker 00

  I did think, I, I got swept up in the, uh, in the US mania until it came crashing down with a thud in that final, uh, in that final effort. But yeah, I was sitting in front of my TV night after night with my eight year old boys watching soccer, which is something that I had never done prior. So I was, I was a new fan, definitely.

• 2:15:05Speaker 02

  And now we're back to real football, thankfully. Monday night preseason football. That's, that's what we're back for. Can't wait to see it. You just showed the depth chart that you had there. It made me wonder, is it harder to call preseason games than it is to call a regular season game? Because you have to know the third, fourth stringers.

• 2:15:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I'm not gonna act like, you know, as I go through this list, if you get down to the third string offensive lineman, that's somebody that I know, uh, every twist and turn of their career to this point. I think the fun of it is being able to kind of pull back and look at the league at times. Look at the division that they're in. We've got an AFC South team playing an AFC West team. I'm sure at some point we're gonna look at Kansas City and Denver, who we have week one, the regular season schedule. I think.

• 2:15:58Speaker 03

  It it affords you, it's almost like doing a baseball all-star game. There, there, there's not a ton of strategy involved in this game we're going to be doing on Thursday night. Um, so you start looking for individual performances and every, somebody will stand out and then you kind of ride that for a little bit, but then you go back to, okay, we're going to see my homes and Knicks, week one. How good's Kansas City going to be? How good's Denver going to be? And you can kind of take your focus off the game a little bit. And if somebody jumps up, you cover them and then you go back to what you're doing. So it's, there's a lot of names, a lot of numbers. You hope to get most of them right. And then you just try to have fun for three hours and point your way toward week one.

• 2:16:42Speaker 00

  Can I ask you a sports jeopardy question?

• 2:16:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll get it wrong.

• 2:16:46Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no. I meant about sports jeopardy that you hosted.

• 2:16:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, go. Yeah, sure.

• 2:16:51Speaker 00

  Why did some of those people sign up?

• 2:16:55Speaker 03

  You have to ask them. I have no idea.

• 2:16:58Speaker 00

  That was some, I watched a couple of episodes and there were, there were some people didn't know anything about sports.

• 2:17:04Speaker 03

  Well, I think, I, I do think this in their defense, and I would probably have been in the same category. I, I think the hard thing about jeopardy, it's like doing a crossword puzzle. You, you have to get into what they're really asking.

• 2:17:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:17:18Speaker 03

  You have to, you have to know kind of, you know, the rhythm of the clue and not a question that I give. If you sat down in a library with a number two lead pencil, you could probably come up with the answer. But when you're on the, on the stage and you have to hit the buzzer, if they hit the buzzer before I stop reading the clue, it, it freezes them out and they have to reset.

• 2:17:44Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:17:44Speaker 03

  So they're doing all that. They're listening to me as I hack my way through the clue. They're reading it on the board and I think it's, it's easy to get lost in what the clue's actually asking for. Sometimes if you could do it without the pressure, you could probably come up with the right answer.

• 2:18:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm not a trivia, I'm not a trivia master by any stretch.

• 2:18:05Speaker 03

  Terrible.

• 2:18:06Speaker 00

  Terrible. But there was a couple like, I, it made me feel smart. Like, I think there was one moment where it was just a picture of Mark Davis and it was like, who is this? And I was like, yeah, I know Mark Davis. You can spot that haircut from a mile away. So I felt like a genius. I was like, this is awesome. I'm so smart.

• 2:18:24Speaker 03

  Yes, uh, I, I, I agree. And, and by the way, when I was reading the clue, I didn't realize what was on the screen because the board is kind of around. So there were some pictures to kind of help you along.

• 2:18:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:18:37Speaker 03

  That, that I wasn't even aware were up when I was doing it. Um, but I, I think the fun of it, I hope, is that the people who didn't do really well had fun and laughed at themselves and laughed at each other. And I thought there was fun to be had between the contestants.

• 2:18:57Speaker 00

  Definitely.

• 2:18:58Speaker 03

  So I mean, if you can't get the right answer, have fun giving the wrong answer. And, and I felt like most people did.

• 2:19:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, it just, when we do a trivia league here, like I hated doing it because I was like, would get things wrong and just be like, how did I get that wrong? Like, how did I not know that? And then you think of it later and you're like, god damn it, I'm so stupid.

• 2:19:16Speaker 03

  Can you do, can you put a, a request in from me since I did this and I wrote the foreword to your book?

• 2:19:22Speaker 00

  Sure. All right. It wasn't that hard of you to write that. Let's just chill out.

• 2:19:25Speaker 02

  Where you dictate.

• 2:19:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, you dictate.

• 2:19:26Speaker 02

  You called up our ghostwriter. You said, have that dictate.

• 2:19:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:19:31Speaker 03

  I, I, it took 15 minutes for you to, to jump on the word dictate. I can't believe it. Uh, but on, on your Instagram.

• 2:19:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:19:41Speaker 03

  When whoever that is, is going around asking like, hey, uh, what, what logo only has one color? Can you put the frigging answer further up in the thing so I don't have to watch the whole goddamn thing?

• 2:19:55Speaker 00

  Welcome to the internet show, folks. That's a trick, Joe. That's a trick. And then you gotta go in the comments to find the answer.

• 2:20:01Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 2:20:03Speaker 02

  Which one was it? Which one was it that set you off?

• 2:20:05Speaker 00

  Joe, I'll send you one that's gonna.

• 2:20:07Speaker 03

  Every one of them. There's not one that doesn't set me. There's only a couple that I've ever gotten right.

• 2:20:11Speaker 00

  I'll send you one that's gonna trigger you, Joe. There was, I, I think it was last week. He went around, Chaps went around and was like, what state is it? It was Missouri and like half the office didn't get it.

• 2:20:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:20:22Speaker 00

  It was just the outline of Missouri. Like I, we're, we're, we're just getting so bad.

• 2:20:26Speaker 03

  The outline of the state?

• 2:20:28Speaker 00

  Of the state of Missouri. And they're like, I don't know.

• 2:20:33Speaker 03

  I mean, come on.

• 2:20:34Speaker 00

  We're not the smartest group.

• 2:20:35Speaker 03

  Aren't you in Illinois right now?

• 2:20:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, no. Listen, I, it doesn't make sense, but there is a, it's very funny because I think there's a divide. It's about the 25 year old and lower mark in this office. I don't think they ever took a geography class, like straight up did not take a geography class.

• 2:20:51Speaker 03

  Well, straight up, I didn't either. And I went to a little prep school in St. Louis. And I remember when my daughter, my 27 year old was going through, and she did geography, a geography class. Like I, I didn't know any of this and it's not just the, the map of the United States. It's around the world. I was blown away by what's taught in geography class. We never had it in the roaring eighties. I never had a geography class. And if, if you gave me all the states in the northeast and the states in the northwest, I would struggle. Middle of the country, I think I could do.

• 2:21:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I was thinking about that the other day because I don't think I took a geography class either. I think if, if you know geography, it's mostly people that just like are interested in maps and spend their own time looking at a map. Yeah.

• 2:21:37Speaker 03

  Al Michaels. That's that. So when the earthquake, World Series happened, part of the thing was he, he, he's brilliant at knowing he's a map guy. And, and maybe that's good for the brain. I, I hope that I'm half as good as Al Michaels, uh, when I'm at that stage of my career, which I will not be. My career will be over by then. Uh, but I, I, he, he's a map guy. I, I, I've never heard of a map guy other than maybe Magellan.

• 2:22:09Speaker 00

  Al Michaels.

• 2:22:10Speaker 03

  But Al Michaels and Magellan are map people. Yeah. I, I was like, sit around studying maps. I just, no, that's, I, no. That's why Netflix was created.

• 2:22:20Speaker 02

  I mean, the amount of people in the office that guess Africa as a country in those things, that's always concerning to me. It's every time.

• 2:22:27Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:22:27Speaker 03

  I, yeah, that, I don't know. That kind of bleeds over from geography to like a, an understanding of the world.

• 2:22:36Speaker 00

  Yes, correct. Yes. There's that, there's that line of like, I'm bad at geography. It's like, no, no. Do you even know like the seven continents?

• 2:22:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:22:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think that's fair.

• 2:22:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:22:46Speaker 00

  Trivia's hard. Trivia's hard.

• 2:22:47Speaker 02

  It's hard. It's hard. The lesson to be learned is never go on a trivia show.

• 2:22:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22:51Speaker 03

  Europe, okay.

• 2:22:52Speaker 00

  Trivia's hard. Trivia's hard.

• 2:22:54Speaker 03

  I got some of Antarctica.

• 2:22:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I can't wait to see what awful announcing, uh, cools out of this. It's going to be, I can't wait to click on that website and see a recap of my HBO show.

• 2:23:08Speaker 00

  I know. I think it's, it's like PFT said, it's when you told our ghostwriter, how, how's my dictate?

• 2:23:14Speaker 00

  That's it.

• 2:23:15Speaker 02

  That's, that's my big takeaway from this. And he was like, it was really good, Joe. And you're like, you're damn right it was. You're goddamn right it was. Um, what, you want to talk NFL? Just like a little bit of NFL this season?

• 2:23:26Speaker 00

  Touch.

• 2:23:26Speaker 02

  Because you do have the Super Bowl.

• 2:23:27Speaker 00

  A touch.

• 2:23:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:23:29Speaker 00

  Wait, they have it?

• 2:23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Is it, Joe, is this, like, have you thought, because you mentioned like, you're not going to be doing this when you're as old as Al? Have you thought about retiring? Like when, what's the goal age for you to walk away?

• 2:23:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:23:40Speaker 02

  Stop talking.

• 2:23:40Speaker 03

  So many, I, I have, I have so many, uh, financial obligations to family and friends. I'm not stopping anytime.

• 2:23:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:23:50Speaker 00

  That's a good answer.

• 2:23:51Speaker 02

  We're stuck with you. I love it.

• 2:23:52Speaker 00

  That's a really good, because like I, I have a kind of similar.

• 2:23:54Speaker 03

  The only motivating thing in my life is to satisfy the needs of family and friends.

• 2:24:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:24:01Speaker 03

  Therefore they will shove me out of the door and onto an airplane to go somewhere.

• 2:24:05Speaker 00

  Listen, I'm, I'm not, uh, in, in the book, I did my 10 gambling rules, but like when people are like, hey, when are you going to slow down? It's like, when I have enough money that I can, uh, lose it all and then die. So like, I don't want to, I don't want to lose it all like, you know, a year short of dying.

• 2:24:21Speaker 03

  Why are you going to lose it?

• 2:24:22Speaker 00

  Well, because I'm, I'm a losing gambler. Like, what do you mean? I'm a losing gambler. So.

• 2:24:26Speaker 03

  Gambling?

• 2:24:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, I want to have enough money so that I can, I can basically like, my last bet will be like on my deathbed. It's like, there we go. Did it perfectly.

• 2:24:35Speaker 03

  That would be an amazing example of preparation.

• 2:24:40Speaker 00

  It's a life.

• 2:24:41Speaker 03

  Timing.

• 2:24:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's a, a life, uh, lived correctly where it's like, all right, there it is.

• 2:24:46Speaker 03

  We just go out, the, the counter's on zero.

• 2:24:49Speaker 00

  Zeros all around.

• 2:24:51Speaker 03

  The Texans didn't cover in that preseason game.

• 2:24:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, that would be perfect. That would be perfect.

• 2:24:57Speaker 02

  How much gambling debt do you have right now? How long is that going to take for you to work it off?

• 2:25:01Speaker 03

  Thank god.

• 2:25:02Speaker 02

  All right. Good to know.

• 2:25:03Speaker 03

  That's not my problem. My problem is.

• 2:25:05Speaker 00

  Hair plugs.

• 2:25:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:25:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:25:07Speaker 03

  Those are expensive.

• 2:25:08Speaker 00

  I know. We know. We read your book.

• 2:25:10Speaker 03

  That's not a, that's not a cheap endeavor. Yeah. So I, in my next life, I'm going to come back as a hair transplant surgeon.

• 2:25:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, you should go to Turkey with our guys. We send it, we send a bunch of, uh, guys from our office to Turkey every single year.

• 2:25:23Speaker 03

  Is that like your Christmas present to your staff?

• 2:25:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, kind of.

• 2:25:26Speaker 02

  Joe, I gotta, I gotta hack for you because I got them too. Um, you should get the people that do them to pay you to do them. If you say where you got them from.

• 2:25:34Speaker 03

  Uh, I, yeah, I've kind of, I've out dabbled in that. My guy's Parsa Mohabbi, uh, out in, in Cal, in California. He's fantastic.

• 2:25:42Speaker 00

  Is, Joe, isn't that so funny that we've known each other long enough now that PFT has, we started this whole relationship of making fun of your hair plugs? And now he has hair plugs?

• 2:25:51Speaker 03

  Well, we started this whole relationship with you making fun of the size of my forehead. So then I then took measures to try and shrink my forehead.

• 2:26:01Speaker 02

  Don't blame your addiction on Big Cat. That's not fair.

• 2:26:04Speaker 00

  And also sometimes I think you're winking at me. Confirm that.

• 2:26:08Speaker 03

  I can't.

• 2:26:09Speaker 00

  You know, like you know that brief, that brief second when you welcome everyone in and you kind of give a little smirk. I think you know, we've all, we've come at the same time before. We, we, you smiled while I've been taking a picture of you.

• 2:26:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:26:26Speaker 00

  We're synced up. We're synced up.

• 2:26:28Speaker 03

  We are synced up. We are simpatico with your. Picture taking and my, my, what was it? Snark, my, my wink, but

• 2:26:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, you wink, you wink at me. You wink at me every now and

• 2:26:40Speaker 03

  Sarcastic. What was the word? My off, my off putting wink?

• 2:26:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, you have a nice little, you have a nice little like, uh, hey, I know, I know. Yeah, welcome in.

• 2:26:50Speaker 03

  Welcome in.

• 2:26:51Speaker 02

  Uh, Joe, can we make, uh, one, one quick wager with you on this year's football season because you will be calling the Super Bowl on ESPN?

• 2:26:58Speaker 00

  What?

• 2:26:58Speaker 02

  Yep. It's a fact. Uh, if the Bears or the commanders make the Super Bowl, can we, can we give you a line to sneak in?

• 2:27:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:27:07Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Okay.

• 2:27:09Speaker 03

  Well, it's gotta be, but, but okay, but it, it can't be absurd.

• 2:27:14Speaker 02

  Cause I was

• 2:27:16Speaker 00

  Your knee jerk there was so off.

• 2:27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure. And then you're like, wait a second. These guys might try to say something blue.

• 2:27:25Speaker 03

  No, exactly. Blue. There's a word that the kids are using. Uh, I, no, I, I'm, let me, I'm gonna, it's all within the same interview. It's gotta be something that's normal that, that I typically say.

• 2:27:42Speaker 00

  Like, let's say the Bears are playing the Chargers and the Bears are winning. You gotta be like, the Bears are effing the Chargers in the B cheeks.

• 2:27:49Speaker 02

  Or car holding.

• 2:27:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, that's a word that's near and dear.

• 2:27:54Speaker 02

  What about, um, okay. So the commanders are in the Super Bowl and

• 2:27:58Speaker 00

  I love you, Joe. I love that you said yes right away. Then you're like, hold on a second. Wait a second.

• 2:28:03Speaker 02

  And Ja'Kori Cross, you know, scores a touchdown and you say

• 2:28:05Speaker 03

  I was talking about.

• 2:28:06Speaker 02

  You say

• 2:28:07Speaker 03

  Who's talking to?

• 2:28:08Speaker 02

  Oh my God, they're gonna make me calm. But it's commander calm. C O M M.

• 2:28:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:28:13Speaker 00

  Okay. All right. We'll workshop it. Hey, listen, if we, if that, if that day

• 2:28:17Speaker 03

  Have your ghostwriter come up with some, some, some possibilities.

• 2:28:22Speaker 00

  Um, all right, Joe, last question, Roback question, R H O B A C K dot com promo code take 20% off your first purchase, Q zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, roback.com promo code take. Uh, go buy part of my book. I honestly like Joe Buck might be the

• 2:28:35Speaker 03

  Do you have to do that so that people don't jump through, uh, ads?

• 2:28:39Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, it's always

• 2:28:42Speaker 03

  So Joe, I got a great question. Final question, really most important part of the whole, roll back is that, yeah.

• 2:28:47Speaker 02

  Like, but no, I would, they don't act like the NFL doesn't do that. Like they sponsor, you guys are gonna have like a, a label like Aetna on the side of the blue injury tent this year, probably.

• 2:28:56Speaker 00

  Hey, go see this movie real quick. All right. And back to first down. Uh, Yeah, come on, man. But no, seriously, Joe, our relation, minions game rocked. I love the minions game.

• 2:29:08Speaker 03

  Dude, was it good?

• 2:29:08Speaker 00

  Our relationship with Joe, though, I think is like the epitome. If I was like, hey, how, how would you describe how this stupid show has kind of come together? It's like, Joe Buck is, is, is like, uh, up there with the stories of guy who had no, he, you had no reason to come on this show, came on the show, let us be idiots with you. You got, you know, a, a, a, a little bump from it. We got a huge bump from it. And then we became friends and it's like, that's why the show works. Cause we all kinda can have fun together. Yeah.

• 2:29:39Speaker 03

  I agree. And, uh, it was eye opening to me. And as I've told you, every time I come on, everywhere I go in this country, people come up to me and mention you guys and hey, I love you coming on the show and it's, it's awesome. So it was, it was actually my honor. I am going to Barnes and Noble. When we disconnect from this.

• 2:30:00Speaker 00

  To sign one?

• 2:30:00Speaker 03

  And I am, I'm just, I'm just gonna sit outside all day and I'm gonna welcome everybody to Barnes and Noble. Uh, I'm gonna buy a whole case of these things and hand them out.

• 2:30:11Speaker 00

  You should sign a couple. That would be funny. Go to Barnes and Nobles and actually be like, hey, anyone who wants a, a part of my book in Colorado, signed by me, Joe Buck. That'd be sick.

• 2:30:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that would be not my style, but I, I, I just to force my autograph on people.

• 2:30:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think they appreciate. In fact, I, I give you or anybody else that's on the cover of this book, you can, anytime you see the book, if it's in an airport, sign your name.

• 2:30:37Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:30:37Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 2:30:38Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:30:38Speaker 03

  I've done that. I, when my book was out, I'd go in and sign them.

• 2:30:42Speaker 00

  That's a baller move.

• 2:30:43Speaker 03

  Got arrested, wrestled to the ground one time.

• 2:30:46Speaker 00

  I love it. All right, Zach, real quick, last question, give it to Joe.

• 2:30:49Speaker 05

  How you doing, Joe? Did have a quick question. If you were to get back in your own personal book game, what are your thoughts on Big Cat and PFT writing the foreword?

• 2:30:57Speaker 03

  Oh God, yeah.

• 2:30:59Speaker 00

  You don't want that.

• 2:31:00Speaker 03

  No, I know I do. That's, that would be more my audience. I think that's a great question. So if I do, which I won't, uh, would you commit right now to writing the foreword to my second book called Lucky Bastard Part Two, Still Lucky and Still a Bastard?

• 2:31:17Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I'll write four words.

• 2:31:19Speaker 00

  I'm gonna say yes, but in Spanish.

• 2:31:23Speaker 00

  I don't know Spanish.

• 2:31:26Speaker 02

  Say hola.

• 2:31:27Speaker 00

  The forwards in, the forwards in Spanish.

• 2:31:30Speaker 03

  Payback I get.

• 2:31:31Speaker 02

  Hola de la libra.

• 2:31:32Speaker 03

  Where I put into this.

• 2:31:33Speaker 00

  Donde esta el baño?

• 2:31:35Speaker 03

  La biblia, donde esta la biblia?

• 2:31:38Speaker 02

  La libra es bueno, uh, por supuesto.

• 2:31:41Speaker 00

  Puerto Rico el baño.

• 2:31:42Speaker 02

  Donde esta la, la train station?

• 2:31:47Speaker 00

  Well, we'll, we'll write the foreword.

• 2:31:49Speaker 03

  Train station is ferrocarril.

• 2:31:51Speaker 02

  Okay, good to know.

• 2:31:53Speaker 00

  We'll write the foreword though, uh, for your next book, how I, how I kicked my, my addiction to hair plugs and then relapsed. The Joe Buck story.

• 2:32:02Speaker 03

  Okay. Yeah. I, well, I haven't had any since I, I

• 2:32:06Speaker 00

  Wink.

• 2:32:06Speaker 03

  Kicked my

• 2:32:07Speaker 00

  He's winking at us right now. If you're listening, he's winking. He's doing the wink. I know the wink.

• 2:32:12Speaker 02

  The hair does look good, Joe. Yeah, look at that. That's supple.

• 2:32:14Speaker 00

  It's fucking great, man. Yeah, you could lose some. You could actually afford to lose some.

• 2:32:18Speaker 02

  No, that's how it starts. That's how it starts.

• 2:32:21Speaker 03

  Then you're back. It's just a big hamster wheel of hair.

• 2:32:25Speaker 00

  Uh, Joe, you're the best. Thank you for everything. Seriously, truly.

• 2:32:29Speaker 02

  We love you.

• 2:32:29Speaker 00

  We love you and we can't wait for football.

• 2:32:32Speaker 03

  Congrats on the book. That's a big deal.

• 2:32:34Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 2:32:34Speaker 03

  Now, here's the thing. I was a New York Times bestseller because of the weird algorithm that they do.

• 2:32:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:32:41Speaker 03

  I don't really know that that translates to actual financial success.

• 2:32:48Speaker 00

  But it's cool to say. Yeah.

• 2:32:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. Like you guys were, you know, hitting me with the watch for the ratings. Are you guys gonna be on that?

• 2:32:57Speaker 00

  We'll guarantee it.

• 2:32:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. I hope the, uh, Dr. Jill Biden's book doesn't sell a single copy this week.

• 2:33:02Speaker 00

  No, no, we'll guarantee it. We're gonna be New York Times.

• 2:33:04Speaker 02

  I'm boycotting it as a matter of fact.

• 2:33:06Speaker 00

  And if we're not, we'll just, we'll just do, we'll do like update to the book and we'll call it, pardon my book, a New York Times bestseller. And then it

• 2:33:14Speaker 03

  Just misspelled time. T Y M E S.

• 2:33:17Speaker 02

  Or an apostrophe.

• 2:33:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're good. We're good. We got it. Uh, all right, Joe, you're the best.

• 2:33:22Speaker 02

  Thanks, Joe.

• 2:33:23Speaker 00

  Thanks, Joe.

• 2:33:25Speaker 02

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• 2:34:10Speaker 02

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• 2:35:07Speaker 00

  Okay, let's wrap up. We got FAQs on pardon my book. What a, what a name for it, huh, boys? We really crushed that.

• 2:35:17Speaker 02

  We spent years really planning out the name.

• 2:35:21Speaker 00

  All right.

• 2:35:22Speaker 05

  Sup guys? Book was incredible. Huge thank you for that. When you guys

• 2:35:25Speaker 00

  Already read it. Actually, I did see some people get it like two days ago and it is a book you can breeze through.

• 2:35:31Speaker 05

  When you guys use huge words like ombudsman, do you look at Google search results trends or to see how dumb the AWLs are? Also, why don't you guys have an office dog? Did Max shut that down? Thank you, pod gods.

• 2:35:42Speaker 04

  I have a dog. Yeah. There's a lot of people on this show that don't, that don't have a dog. I do.

• 2:35:46Speaker 02

  Mike Vick asking about the office. Mike Vick had lots of dogs, Max.

• 2:35:50Speaker 04

  I, my dog does not fight.

• 2:35:53Speaker 02

  Checkmate, checkmate.

• 2:35:53Speaker 04

  Uh, my dog is very safe.

• 2:35:56Speaker 00

  Office dog would be a terrible idea.

• 2:35:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:36:00Speaker 04

  That dog would be

• 2:36:01Speaker 02

  It would be good to pet, like the day one, the office dog would be great. And then you'd have to figure out like who's actually taking care of it.

• 2:36:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:36:09Speaker 00

  I mean, we could barely, we, we had to give away our office turtle.

• 2:36:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, memes.

• 2:36:13Speaker 04

  Well, that's not true. That was well taken care of.

• 2:36:16Speaker 00

  Should we get a goldfish again this year?

• 2:36:18Speaker 04

  Called it trash.

• 2:36:19Speaker 02

  I mean, I think you just read, you, you wrote the chapter on Larry and you were like, what if we have another one? There's never gonna be another Larry.

• 2:36:25Speaker 00

  Zach, could you keep a goldfish alive?

• 2:36:28Speaker 05

  A goldfish?

• 2:36:28Speaker 04

  How about a dog instead?

• 2:36:29Speaker 05

  Dog, dog, I'm not sure. I'll say it. I don't know about

• 2:36:32Speaker 00

  I would love to keep it. Love to just see how a goldfish does for a couple of weeks.

• 2:36:39Speaker 00

  Let's talk about it later. Okay.

• 2:36:40Speaker 05

  Fair.

• 2:36:40Speaker 00

  But it would be nice, would be nice.

• 2:36:44Speaker 05

  Hey Danielle, Erica, Henrietta, Maxine, Zee and Mimi.

• 2:36:50Speaker 02

  Mimi, that's my grandmother's name.

• 2:36:54Speaker 05

  Who is your favorite recurring guest who is not featured in the book?

• 2:36:58Speaker 02

  Oh, like that didn't write a chapter?

• 2:37:01Speaker 05

  Julian Edelman.

• 2:37:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, Julian's up there. Greg Olson, maybe.

• 2:37:05Speaker 02

  Stanford Steve.

• 2:37:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:37:07Speaker 04

  Kyle Warber.

• 2:37:08Speaker 00

  Kyle Warber, P. Crumshaw.

• 2:37:12Speaker 05

  Chumazula.

• 2:37:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, Missoula chapter would have been good. Yeah, I mean, we, we, we couldn't, we couldn't do a million because it would have just made the book like 7,000 pages long. But yeah, there's definitely some people I was like, shit. We should have had them write a chapter.

• 2:37:27Speaker 02

  Uh, Rick Pitino, just a sentence.

• 2:37:30Speaker 00

  Booger. We should have Booger write a chapter.

• 2:37:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:37:34Speaker 00

  Next book.

• 2:37:35Speaker 02

  Stavi.

• 2:37:36Speaker 00

  Stavi would have, yeah, would have been good. Would have been good.

• 2:37:41Speaker 05

  I parentheses, we need the full 24 hour rundown of the LSU championship title game. How the Coach O and Borough interview somehow still happened. All time rally from everyone involved. 10 time A W L Andre from Nashville.

• 2:37:54Speaker 02

  Okay, 2000, what? 2019?

• 2:37:57Speaker 00

  20.

• 2:38:00Speaker 05

  Technically, yeah.

• 2:38:01Speaker 00

  Right before COVID.

• 2:38:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:38:03Speaker 00

  We, LSU won. Um, I think we all bet a lot on LSU to win. We went out.

• 2:38:12Speaker 00

  We started, we went and saw our friend Derek, who was Coach O's right-hand man. And he, at that point was like, I think he said to me, he's like, hey, I'll text you if this can actually happen. And I was like, there's just no way. And then we went out all night. At one point we were at a bar and it was like us, Jay Cutler and Anthony Rizzo. All hanging out.

• 2:38:36Speaker 02

  And, uh, Stanford Steve.

• 2:38:37Speaker 00

  And Stanford Steve, yeah.

• 2:38:38Speaker 02

  Chris Long.

• 2:38:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, and Chris Long, yes.

• 2:38:40Speaker 02

  I tried, I tried to wrestle Stanford Steve.

• 2:38:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:38:43Speaker 02

  That didn't go well.

• 2:38:45Speaker 00

  And then I want to say we got home around like two or three in the morning and, uh, I think I, I set an alarm for like super early.

• 2:38:55Speaker 00

  And I woke up and then Derek texted was like, it's a go. You gotta be here at this time and we can do it. And it was just like mad dash. We carried this stuff there, right? And it was just a, it was a, we were so drunk. We were still so drunk.

• 2:39:11Speaker 02

  I think.

• 2:39:11Speaker 00

  It was like eight in the morning.

• 2:39:12Speaker 02

  I think I, at some point hung out with maybe Steve Levy that night.

• 2:39:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was there.

• 2:39:16Speaker 02

  He was in one of the bars.

• 2:39:17Speaker 00

  He was there.

• 2:39:18Speaker 02

  Then I remember I was at that bar with Chris Long and Stanford Steve and Rizzo and Tommy Alter was there.

• 2:39:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:39:25Speaker 02

  And I think me and Tommy were like, it's time to go. I recall that being about 4:00 AM.

• 2:39:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:39:31Speaker 02

  And I looked at my phone and I think that's when you texted interview.

• 2:39:35Speaker 00

  Oh, so it was happened. Yeah, it might've happened at the end of the night.

• 2:39:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:39:38Speaker 00

  Where I, before I went to sleep, but it was, it, I, I want to say it was like maybe three hours of sleep.

• 2:39:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:39:43Speaker 00

  Fully drunk. And then carrying our stuff to the hotel and Derek, who's the man, absolute legend, uh, was basically like, here's the room, set up. Our bus leaves at nine. You guys get, you know, Joe will come in at eight. Coach O will come in at eight 20. That's what I got for you. And we're like, we can make it work. And yeah, it was, I mean, to get, that was a big pinch me moment too, where it's like, these guys just won a national title and we're getting to interview them and we're fucked up.

• 2:40:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:40:15Speaker 00

  Very cool.

• 2:40:16Speaker 02

  And then I remember when, when Coach O got done with the interview, he walked down to the hallway and started screaming at everybody like, you're gonna miss the bus.

• 2:40:22Speaker 00

  Get on the bus.

• 2:40:22Speaker 02

  He was angry at his team. Like, hey, like Coach O, I don't think they care.

• 2:40:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:40:26Speaker 02

  Right now. They, they just won. Um, and then later on, we were doing the podcast in one of the hotel rooms. I remember puking during that. I was so hungover.

• 2:40:34Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:40:35Speaker 02

  Throwing up during the podcast that we did afterwards.

• 2:40:37Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 2:40:37Speaker 02

  It was a good time.

• 2:40:38Speaker 00

  It was a great time.

• 2:40:39Speaker 02

  I don't think that we'd be able to pull that off right now. Not in terms of like do, getting the interviews the day after, but being able to rally from 4:00 AM.

• 2:40:47Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:40:48Speaker 02

  To functioning at 7:00 AM.

• 2:40:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:40:50Speaker 02

  That's a young man's game.

• 2:40:53Speaker 05

  All right, last one. Uh, what's up, boys? Have you ever seriously considered lowering the number of shows every week? I know it's something A W L's like. Me always look forward to knowing. I'll always have Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but you can't deny that when most people get your amount of success, they would want to ease off the gas a little bit. Thanks, boys. Love you guys.

• 2:41:11Speaker 02

  I mean, we kind, it's not the same, but during football season, we, we do no guest on Mondays. So it's like, that's less guests that we have to do. Um, and, and is a little bit of a lighter load for us.

• 2:41:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, we've, we've toyed with maybe doing, and maybe A W L's can, can, uh, tell us what they think, but like, we had no guests on Friday. I think people really liked that episode. We've toyed with maybe doing no guests Mondays in the off season as well. Obviously there's certain one like Masters, SVP, you know, Selection Sunday, John, like there's certain Mondays that's like, we're still gonna have a guest, but maybe being like, hey, let's have some, some more looser, uh, episodes on Monday. But I don't, I've never felt like it's like, oh my God, this is too much.

• 2:41:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:41:53Speaker 00

  I've never felt like, oh, fuck, we ran out of shit to talk about. Um, if we did two episodes a week, each episode would be like four hours.

• 2:42:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, they'd be long and also.

• 2:42:05Speaker 00

  It'd be so long.

• 2:42:06Speaker 02

  If we did two episodes a week, that like, that does add up.

• 2:42:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:42:09Speaker 02

  One fewer episode a week, four fewer a month, which is four times 12, 48 fewer a year. Like that is, that would be a difference in terms of like total downloads.

• 2:42:17Speaker 00

  No, we, we love doing it.

• 2:42:19Speaker 02

  And it's like, it doesn't, it's not to the point where it feels like it's an effort to do three episodes a week. It feels like the natural, the right amount.

• 2:42:26Speaker 00

  I also, I'll, I'll say it. It's probably a sick mindset, but I take, uh, incredible pride in the fact that like, there's a lot of other shows that take like a week or two weeks or like a full month off in the summer and we don't. I, I take pride in that. Cause I think that we're a, a show that people, we become part of their lives, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And if we broke it for two weeks, they'd go find something else and then it'd be harder to get them back. So yeah, I take pride in that. And like, we obviously do a good job of like, you know, the Tim Woods episodes, which we love doing, uh, Dingers Only, stuff like that around holidays and stuff. But yeah, I, I fucking love it. I love doing it. I think you guys do too, right?

• 2:43:06Speaker 00

  All right. Good show, boys. Go buy a book. Let's do numbers.

• 2:43:10Speaker 05

  Five.

• 2:43:11Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:43:11Speaker 04

  55.

• 2:43:12Speaker 00

  No, no. Double no.

• 2:43:15Speaker 04

  Seven.

• 2:43:17Speaker 00

  I think during football, I might do my top five quarterbacks.

• 2:43:20Speaker 04

  63.

• 2:43:21Speaker 00

  And Jayden's always.

• 2:43:22Speaker 04

  69.

• 2:43:24Speaker 00

  Uh, 10.

• 2:43:28Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go with, uh,

• 2:43:31Speaker 02

  70, 70. Just 70.

• 2:43:35Speaker 00

  70, 70?

• 2:43:36Speaker 02

  Just 70.

• 2:43:36Speaker 04

  That's not in there. 70, 70.

• 2:43:38Speaker 02

  70.

• 2:43:39Speaker 04

  You go 99. That'd be a huge lot.

• 2:43:41Speaker 00

  For Pug?

• 2:43:42Speaker 02

  For J.J. Watt.

• 2:43:43Speaker 00

  Shout out Pug.

• 2:43:44Speaker 04

  Oh, the Pug clip.

• 2:43:46Speaker 02

  Missed Pug.

• 2:43:47Speaker 00

  15 for Jacob.

• 2:43:49Speaker 04

  15 for Jacob. Fulton's got 69.

• 2:43:55Speaker 04

  69 is coming for Fulton.

• 2:43:58Speaker 00

  90.

• 2:44:04Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:44:07Speaker 00

  93. One more?

• 2:44:10Speaker 04

  Not even close.

• 2:44:13Speaker 04

  Not even close.

• 2:44:14Speaker 00

  It's close.

• 2:44:37Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:44:38Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 2:44:39Speaker 00

  59.

• 2:44:42Speaker 02

  59.

• 2:44:45Speaker 04

  Sorry, Colton.

• 2:44:46Speaker 02

  Happy birthday to Bucky Irving. Happy birthday Kirk Cousins, Patrick Chung, Morton Anderson, the goat. Uh, Kirk Herbstreet. Bill Clinton. Happy birthday to John Stamos.

• 2:45:02Speaker 02

  Also, happy birthday to Ethan Kalikmenis. I still don't know how to pronounce your name, bro, but you were awesome. Uh, happy birthday to Mitch Trubisky.

• 2:45:10Speaker 00

  Kiss and titties.

• 2:45:10Speaker 02

  Kiss and titties. Happy birthday to Fred Durst.

• 2:45:14Speaker 02

  Come on. Love you guys.

• 2:47:22Speaker 02

  You