Pod Insights Pablo Torre Finds Out "Parenting First Take" (and the Super Bowl Halftime Stakes) with Mina Kimes About this episode In a belated 40th birthday link-up, our favorite geriatric millennial stops by to restore your faith in humanity with truck content from her toddler bro, the definition of a sports parent, the hardest part about growing up right now and the best thing about Bad Bunny playing the only big room left in America. Plus: encountering a loose Lucky Charm, borrowing Neighbor Jim's shrink ray, "Tickle Monster (Pablo's Version)," ripping off Jim Carrey... and rippin' some salt.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre and today we're gonna find out what this sound is.
0:07 Speaker 01 I put it way too close to my face.
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2:09 Speaker 01 I can't remember who said it, but someone said that I have an older sister vibe with you, which I at first took as a compliment, but then I don't like being thought of as older than you. I'm like two weeks older than you.
2:20 Pablo Torre? Yes, I say all the time on the record that I've looked up to you as an older journalist for
2:26 Speaker 01 An older journalist.
2:26 Pablo Torre? So much of my career. Happy birthday belatedly to my birthday brother.
2:32 Speaker 01 Oh, my son.
2:33 Pablo Torre? Speaking of our familial relationship. That's pretty wild.
2:36 Speaker 01 Libra gang.
2:37 Pablo Torre? Libra gang.
2:38 Speaker 01 I induced, as you know, because I was like, I gotta have him on Pablo's birthday. The other reason was that he was trending gigantic.
2:45 Pablo Torre? Remains gigantic.
2:46 Speaker 01 Still gigantic.
2:48 Pablo Torre? What's the toddler combine? What are his numbers look like?
2:51 Speaker 01 I think, so we're about to have the two, we haven't had the two-year-old appointment, but you get the percentile. I'm pretty sure he's still 90th weight, size is above average. He's definitely leaning out a little bit, though. Now that he runs around, so, you know, but he's still very large.
3:09 Pablo Torre? You're disappointed.
3:11 Speaker 01 I like the idea of having an extremely large son. He doesn't know his own strengths, though. Like, sometimes he'll accidentally push me and I'm like, ow.
3:21 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I like, I just have Nino pushing a sled, you know?
3:24 Speaker 01 Like a blocking sled?
3:24 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:25 Speaker 01 He's very physical. He likes physical stuff. He goes to like baby gym. Did Violet ever do like the little, do they have that in New York, my gym?
3:32 Pablo Torre? We did, we did ninja class.
3:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:37 Pablo Torre? Various, just like, yeah, padded floors that you can just like bounce off of.
3:40 Speaker 01 On one hand, you're like, this is like Equinox money for someone to just like, sit on the floor with the children roll around. But on the other hand, like, they do like balance beams and it's a lot of ball pits.
3:54 Pablo Torre? Yep. Violet showed up one day, or at least as I experienced it, showed up one day at home and was just doing like forward rolls. It was like repeated series of forward rolls. I was like, holy [BLEEP].
4:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a real, did she want to do gymnastics? She did, she play any sports?
4:10 Pablo Torre? Uh, she's in soccer.
4:12 Speaker 01 How's that going?
4:13 Pablo Torre? She is one of the most methodical and deliberate, but slow dribblers.
4:21 Pablo Torre? Like, the videos are of her just like making sure she is perfectly nudging this along, but she is the slowest and most careful of all of the, yeah, prospects in that class.
4:32 Speaker 01 Did you play soccer growing up?
4:33 Pablo Torre? I played through grade school.
4:34 Speaker 01 Just through grade school?
4:35 Pablo Torre? The Manhattan Kickers.
4:36 Speaker 01 Did you, you stuck with basketball till high?
4:39 Pablo Torre? In grade school. I tapped out.
4:41 Speaker 01 Did you play any sports after grade school?
4:43 Pablo Torre? No. I mean, wait, yes. Varsity Lincoln Douglas debate.
4:46 Speaker 01 Oh, my god.
4:50 Pablo Torre? Do you now want to brag about your high school soccer career?
4:52 Speaker 01 No, I just can't believe this has never come up as you were a sports writer, that you abandoned sports after...
4:59 Pablo Torre? I mean...
5:00 Speaker 01 Elementary school.
5:01 Pablo Torre? People just looked at me and they were like, this guy must have the credibility to talk about the greatest athletes in the world. They didn't really ask follow-ups.
5:08 Speaker 01 Um, wow.
5:11 Pablo Torre? You played varsity soccer.
5:12 Speaker 01 I did, and I played club soccer through high school as well. So I played a lot of soccer, and it took up a lot of time and energy, and that is something I'm not quite looking forward to, like the Uber-ing aspect of being a sports parent, where you're just driving them places constantly, it sounds like. But it was a big part of my upbringing and important. I think for girls, playing team sports is so valuable.
5:36 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I mean, look, right now, Violet is so young that it's all obviously co-ed.
5:41 Speaker 01 But when she's in games, and you're on the sidelines and you start having opinions about the tactics, that's when you become a sports parent. I can't wait for that.
5:51 Pablo Torre? So, by the way, relatedly, what I'm realizing as like a sports parent-to-be is that also, a lot of these cliches are true. Like parenting, my feelings, my circuitry being activated. Violet, who started kindergarten now last month, September, there was a point where we, Liz and I brought her to the curb and put her on the yellow school bus. And there's a point at which she's like waving out the window of this yellow school bus, like receding across the horizon line, and I'm like...
6:29 Speaker 01 Crying?
6:29 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I'm like, of course. Like, I'm just, I'm just that. I'm that guy. I'm that dad now.
6:34 Speaker 01 Everybody's that dad.
6:36 Pablo Torre? But then you go to like the sports side of it and you're like, ah, yes, valuable lessons about teamwork.
6:42 Speaker 01 Right.
6:42 Pablo Torre? And what it means to stand up for yourself and how to assert yourself in mixed gender environments. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is, this is also real.
6:53 Speaker 01 There's a reason why all the cliches about parenting end up, it's a pretty universal experience. The same feelings and concerns are activated for everybody.
7:02 Pablo Torre? Give me a non-parenting cliche that you believe in, that you think people should be aware of.
7:09 Speaker 01 Like a take, like a hot take, potentially?
7:12 Pablo Torre? We're doing, we're doing parenting first take.
7:15 Speaker 01 Oh, oh, I mean, this one is increasingly, the older my kid gets, the more I, and maybe this is a cliche, so maybe it's a bad answer, but I believe I'm meeting him more than shaping him.
7:30 Pablo Torre? Yeah. Yeah.
7:32 Speaker 01 He just is who he is and I get the once in a lifetime experience of watching that become reality. But it's for all the time I spend worrying about the tiny little things. What if we don't do this language thing? What if he starts preschool? Ultimately, he just kind of is who he is.
7:48 Pablo Torre? Yeah, we are, we discover, we find out more than we are able to like inculcate. We can't all be, everybody, I think, part of, part of all the sports parenting stuff is that you want to be like Richard Williams or Earl Woods or whatever. And it's less that and more like figuring out, oh, this is who I'm living with.
8:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, and that's going to be a big, like, he might not want to play sports. Right now, he looks so physical and active and he loves tumbling and he's like just a boy in every, like, just such a boy. I mean, my son is just such a little bro.
8:23 Pablo Torre? What does that mean when you're two?
8:25 Speaker 01 I can tell you what it means. I got him a, his little, he's part of this toddler crew and I got him this little stroller. They all have, because they were all fighting over another kid's, it's clearly a hot item on the playground. So I got him a little one from Target and the next day. I saw him with the stroller and he turned around and he had put a dump truck in the stroller. And he was pushing around the truck in the stroller.
8:47 Pablo Torre? Instead of like a baby doll.
8:48 Speaker 01 Yes, instead of a baby doll, because that was his most prized possession. I feel like that pretty clearly illustrates what a little bro. Dump truck and big bus weren't his first words, but they were maybe his first compound words?
9:02 Speaker 01 Big bus, dump truck, forklift. Are you not exposed to any of this because you have a little girl, like the little boy universe? Like, like, for example, he has so many books about trucks. It's crazy.
9:15 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
9:16 Speaker 01 The most popular kids, but like just Good Night Construction Site, Trash Truck. There's so much content around trucks.
9:24 Pablo Torre? I like that we are absolutely raising our children, again, or allowing our children to just express the most traditional gender roles.
9:35 Speaker 01 Allowing is the key, yeah.
9:37 Pablo Torre? I thought that Violet was into construction stuff.
9:41 Speaker 01 As a kid.
9:42 Pablo Torre? As a kid, and she is, but then compared to my nephew.
9:46 Speaker 01 Yes.
9:47 Pablo Torre? Miguel, who is like younger and like, there is an amusement park.
9:52 Speaker 01 Of trucks?
9:53 Pablo Torre? It's like sit in a tractor.
9:55 Speaker 01 If a trash truck, especially one that makes noises, drives by, my son, it'll be like full Bugs Bunny eyes, hard eyes, everything stops.
10:07 Pablo Torre? Pepe LeBout.
10:08 Speaker 01 Turns around. We have to sit here, we have to watch it, we have to comment on it. And then he like can't tear his eyes away from it. He thinks it's the best thing in the world.
10:18 Pablo Torre? I'm looking up, okay, this is what it is.
10:22 Pablo Torre? Diggerland.
10:23 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, that sounds like his dream.
10:25 Pablo Torre? Berlin Township, New Jersey. The one and only construction theme and water park in the US.
10:33 Pablo Torre? Look at this [BLEEP]. Hold on.
10:34 Speaker 01 So she's just not into this stuff anymore?
10:35 Pablo Torre? She is, but it's just like she's wearing princess stuff. And I'm like, just...
10:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:39 Pablo Torre? But like, look, there's like...
10:40 Speaker 01 Crane truck, excavator, digger.
10:42 Pablo Torre? It's just...
10:43 Speaker 01 I... The other thing about these truck-based books is they're all like cinematic universes. Do you ever go to... We just go to Barnes and Noble and like hang out. So you go to the kids' section now, it really is like all content. Like, there's obviously a lot of original and new ones. But if there's a hit, like Good Night Construction Site, then there's like 20 spinoffs. Like Good Night Construction Site Valentine's Day Edition. Though because every single one of these popular books has a full spinoff series. And you have to get them all.
11:16 Pablo Torre? Has Nino gotten a whiff of like words he shouldn't say? And does he know about them?
11:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's a few, yeah.
11:22 Pablo Torre? What are the words that...
11:23 Speaker 01 I don't... It's scatological stuff.
11:26 Pablo Torre? It's a... I mean, saying poop to Violet is like the funniest.
11:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
11:29 Pablo Torre? Thing in the world.
11:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, my brother-in-law got him a fart machine that makes different kinds of farts. And he is just at the age where he understands it's funny now. Because he sees people's reactions. He's starting to develop like humor now, right? And starting to see people's reactions. By the way, do you think people enjoy hearing us talk about our kids? Or... Because I... I sometimes realize that if people don't have kids, I really try to remember they do not want to hear about your kids.
11:55 Pablo Torre? I... I feel like that's a risk I'm willing to take.
11:58 Speaker 01 Kids not here. Let's talk about our kids.
12:01 Pablo Torre? My take, my last take in the kids' section of today's programming is like, it's okay to not throw a birthday party.
12:10 Speaker 01 Ooh, that's a hot take.
12:13 Pablo Torre? Because what I've learned is that every kid needs to invite every other kid. And it's a whole thing. And there are a zillion of them every weekend.
12:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:22 Pablo Torre? And I just think we can... We can... We cannot do that.
12:28 Pablo Torre? We cannot.
12:29 Speaker 01 You want to opt out?
12:30 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
12:30 Speaker 01 I'm sure your five-year-old daughter would be totally cool with not having a birthday party while everyone else in her class does.
12:36 Pablo Torre? A tough way for Violet to find out that we're not throwing her a birthday party at Diggerland.
12:42 Speaker 01 So Nino just had a birthday party. It was Elmo-themed and...
12:45 Pablo Torre? It was what-themed?
12:46 Speaker 01 Elmo-themed.
12:46 Pablo Torre? Elmo-themed, great.
12:47 Speaker 01 Yes, yeah. So I was just asking around, like, what kind of stuff do I have to get? And all my parent friends were like, you gotta get this, this, this, this. So what I didn't account for was it was Nino's first exposure to juice, apple juice.
12:58 Pablo Torre? Oh, man.
12:59 Speaker 01 In particular. He's never had, like, pure, uncut apple juice.
13:03 Pablo Torre? That Colombian.
13:03 Speaker 01 And at this party, so it was in a little play area, so the kids were all penned in, which was the kind of most important thing.
13:09 Pablo Torre? Yes.
13:09 Speaker 01 At this age. And every time I turned around, he would be like...
13:15 Speaker 01 It was like watching, like, the beginning of, like, Requiem for a Dream.
13:20 Speaker 01 And I swear to God, that party was two weeks ago. I wake up, I take him down to get some breakfast, and he looks at me and he goes, "Apple juice?" And I'm like, "We don't have that." And he gets so mad. And it's been two weeks and he's still thinking about the high of drinking. He drank, like, four apple juices at his birthday, so...
13:39 Pablo Torre? Can you blame him?
13:40 Speaker 01 I mean, it's good.
13:42 Pablo Torre? Nino's gonna... This is like what happens when, uh, your parents are super strict. The strictest parents raise the most, uh, uncontrollable children.
13:51 Speaker 01 I wasn't allowed to eat sweets growing up.
13:53 Pablo Torre? At all?
13:54 Speaker 01 No, we were, but not, like, we ate, like, a lot of fruit. I didn't have, like, junky cereals. So when I would go to, like, my friends' houses, I'd go to camp.
14:00 Pablo Torre? Lucky charms, holy [BLEEP].
14:01 Speaker 01 My God.
14:02 Pablo Torre? Encountering a loose charm? Damn!
14:06 Speaker 01 Did you ever eat, in college, the charms out of the Lucky charms?
14:10 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:13 Speaker 01 I got to college and I was a menace with the bad-for-you foods in the cafeteria.
14:18 Pablo Torre? It's like when you discover that they just sell, uh, the stuff in an Oreo.
14:22 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
14:22 Pablo Torre? Just stuff.
14:25 Speaker 01 I also like gained a lot of weight because I stopped playing soccer. Like, not a lot of weight, but like, I didn't realize that it turns out when you don't work out five hours a day, you can't have Taco Bell four times a day. It took me a while to learn that list. But no, I'm not even that strict with Nino's food. He just, he just, literally, it's funny because he's had like cake and cookies and it's, nothing has hit like apple juice has hit his system. Nothing.
14:51 Pablo Torre? You gotta get that, that apple juice live read on your show.
14:55 Speaker 01 I know. Sponsor me. He saw me drinking a beer and thought it was apple juice and got mad the other day. He was like, mama, apple juice? I'm like, this isn't apple juice. It's special mama drink.
15:05 Pablo Torre? Special mama drink.
15:24 Pablo Torre? The subtext of all of this is that both of us are now 40 years old.
15:32 Pablo Torre? I know.
15:33 Speaker 01 I hate it.
15:34 Pablo Torre? I know.
15:34 Speaker 01 I hate it.
15:35 Pablo Torre? You're wrapping yourself in a very luxurious sweater.
15:39 Speaker 01 Thanks. It's very soft.
15:40 Pablo Torre? Looks very comfy. If you're like me, which I think you are to a degree, you're not trying to think a lot about that.
15:52 Speaker 01 Like mortality?
15:53 Pablo Torre? Mortality, like what is it? Look, I had a great birthday. I choose not to dwell so much on like,
16:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:04 Pablo Torre? What does this, what does this mean? What does this mean?
16:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:09 Pablo Torre? I don't know. Does it, did it hit you?
16:16 Speaker 01 Not so much in like I'm taking stock of my life and what I'm doing with it.
16:24 Speaker 01 More so, it does, it does feel like wow, I'm in a really different phase of my life. But I would say a lot more of that is having, it's because my son's birthday is two weeks after mine. And I think it was funny for me to like have his birthday, but my, even ahead of my birthday, which is like supposed to be this big momentous birthday, I was thinking much more about his birthday and planning it and what that means. And I suppose that's the such, been such an overwhelming change in my life and how I see the world and think about things and all of that, that it's kind of subsumed me and my own personal milestones, if that, does that make sense?
17:03 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a long way of saying, yes, I too do not choose to engage with what this means for me personally.
17:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:12 Pablo Torre? It's the most conventional dividing line of we were young, now we are not. And I think both of us benefited and in my case at least, like, you know, took pride in the fact that, look at everything that I'm up to and I'm not even this age yet. And now I am that age now. And I feel very proud and this is not a woe is me in any way. It's just, it's just, I think everybody feels like they're still young is my hypothesis. Like, we're not unique in that.
17:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:42 Pablo Torre? But, you know, it's undeniable that we are not.
17:46 Speaker 01 You know what I think I feel now that I think is very much like, wow, I'm a Jerry Ash Millennial and I'm 40 and the biggest difference between me and is I, and I don't think this is true 10 years ago when I was 30, thinking about people in their twenties. Maybe some of this is due to having a kid, but like I worry a lot more for people who are younger than me and I don't envy them. And I think it's a really hard time to be in your twenties. It's a really hard time to be growing up. And I don't think I felt that way when I was like, when I turned 30. But, but I don't think that's about me and my age so much as it is like the world and the state of things.
18:26 Pablo Torre? So that's a fair point.
18:28 Speaker 01 Well, so your, your kid, to kind of bring this full circle, is three years older than mine.
18:33 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
18:34 Speaker 01 What is something that I have to look forward to in the next three years? As we now turn two?
18:43 Pablo Torre? It's the greatest, oh god, to be the most cliché person. Like, still to me, the feeling I chase the most like a drug.
18:53 Speaker 01 Apple juice.
18:54 Pablo Torre? Is.
18:54 Speaker 01 Your personal apple juice.
18:55 Pablo Torre? Sweet, sweet juice.
18:58 Pablo Torre? It's just Violet laughing.
19:00 Speaker 01 Does she still laugh at your jokes and?
19:03 Pablo Torre? But what's happening is that she is laughing less on command.
19:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:10 Pablo Torre? And so it used to be a tickle was just like
19:13 Speaker 01 Enough.
19:13 Pablo Torre? 100% success rate.
19:15 Speaker 01 Oh no, I can't, I
19:17 Pablo Torre? And now it's just sort of like, oh no, there's, you know, she used to ask for like, there's this thing we do where she's like, I created these, or maybe she created these two characters, Barnaby and Theodore, Theodore is a rabbit, Barnaby is a lion. And I would tell her a story, a Barnaby and Theodore story, in which like I just tell her, like, one day.
19:36 Speaker 01 You were making him up off the rip?
19:38 Pablo Torre? Yeah, I'm just riffing.
19:39 Speaker 01 Okay, storyteller.
19:40 Pablo Torre? Just, just, you know.
19:41 Speaker 01 You know people use ChatGPT to do this now for their kids? I know, it's so depressing to me, yeah.
19:45 Pablo Torre? Just like putting in.
19:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, like make up a story about a rabbit.
19:49 Pablo Torre? You're a great dad. You love to tell your kids stories about. So I'm just like making, but now it's like the bar is, like I need to be better at it.
20:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, you gotta level up.
20:01 Pablo Torre? Yeah, so I've been accused of like, and Violet hates something like, that was too short.
20:08 Pablo Torre? I'm like trying to end the story and I need to like have character development.
20:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, wow.
20:13 Pablo Torre? My go-to move is like
20:14 Speaker 01 I thought you had something to look forward to, this sounds challenging and
20:18 Pablo Torre? But what it is, is like
20:20 Speaker 01 But when you succeed, it's
20:21 Pablo Torre? It feels more like communication.
20:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:23 Pablo Torre? Where there's a back and forth, I'm like, oh.
20:26 Speaker 01 Yes.
20:26 Pablo Torre? This is different, but fulfilling.
20:31 Speaker 01 Yes.
20:31 Pablo Torre? And you feel like you're just like actually getting to know that person more.
20:35 Speaker 01 Right.
20:35 Pablo Torre? Like, I can't just do the story where they get hit with a shrink ray, which is like 90% of my Barnaby and Theodore stories.
20:42 Speaker 01 Is that your avatar, is a lot of shrink rays?
20:43 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah, and there's a guy who lives on the 10th floor of our building who has a shrink ray and we always go to visit this guy Jim and he has a shrink ray.
20:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:48 Pablo Torre? And she's like, you gotta, you gotta bury up.
20:51 Speaker 01 God, I am, now you've given me a fear I didn't even know I had, which is the day that my son stops finding everything I do to be the funniest thing in the world. I think I've mentioned to people, like, I'll pull out stuff from like 90s humor, he thinks I invented smoking.
21:10 Pablo Torre? Okay.
21:13 Speaker 01 He's like, wow, my mother's comedic genius. She should be playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival. Play her a million dollars. These jokes are incredible. He also like.
21:22 Pablo Torre? Do not go in there. It's like it's all Jim Carrey.
21:25 Speaker 01 My character is the tickle monster and he and I and I give him a look and he just knows it's coming. He just loses it and he starts running away.
21:33 Pablo Torre? So I do that too.
21:34 Speaker 01 You have a character.
21:35 Pablo Torre? We call it a tickle monster.
21:36 Speaker 01 Oh.
21:37 Pablo Torre? But.
21:37 Speaker 01 IP violation. That's my character.
21:41 Pablo Torre? Tickle monster parentheses Pablo's version.
21:43 Speaker 01 Do you do like a menacing walk towards him?
21:45 Pablo Torre? I do do, I do this.
21:47 Speaker 01 Oh, that's your move?
21:47 Pablo Torre? Two index fingers and I.
21:49 Speaker 01 I I walk like I'm in the ring, like I'll flip my hair forward and like crawl. It's actually quite terrifying. It's amazing. Maybe that's why he screams and runs away.
21:57 Pablo Torre? I just like how so far all of your mothering is ripping off movies you've seen. This has inspired me to whip out Opposite Day.
22:05 Speaker 01 Opposite Day?
22:07 Pablo Torre? It's like, that's a Violet, that's a great picture. On Opposite Day.
22:11 Speaker 01 All right.
22:14 Speaker 01 Got her. Got her. No, but that I think what you're describing is like, you know, whatever. People always ask me like, what is the best thing about being a parent now? And there's, there's a million things I could point to and kind of how it rewires you to see the world in a different way. And makes you a more like simultaneously like a more optimistic and negative person. Or like negative, anxious, like having a child in this world at this moment, like I feel better than ever about humanity. Because I witnessed like, oh, this pure sunshine. But then you're also like, you feel concerned all the time and scared. So that that's big.
22:56 Speaker 01 But I think what you talked about is something that I think is maybe the best part of all, which is, you know, a child is, is their own person. You're meeting them and they get, they surprise you every day in new ways and, you know, some frustrating ways. But like, when you get older, you lose your like capacity to be surprised and in a pleasant way. And to have someone who reminds you that that exists is really nice.
23:22 Pablo Torre? Also, the next phase, I'm thinking about like kindergarten, like we just visited Violet's class and I'm like, you see, and maybe at two, uh, Nino's already doing this, but like the self-portrait.
23:33 Speaker 01 Oh gosh, yeah.
23:34 Pablo Torre? And you just sort of like see how they see themselves.
23:37 Speaker 01 That's really interesting. How they see you? Does she draw you in a funny way?
23:41 Pablo Torre? Oh, she has drawn me. Violet will draw portraits where after like there's a disagreement with me and Liz in which she wants, she like loves seltzer. That is her apple juice, actually. And so she just keeps on...
23:53 Speaker 01 Does she call it spicy water? When do kids start doing that?
23:56 Pablo Torre? Spicy water?
23:57 Speaker 01 Is that an LA thing? Maybe it's an LA thing. They all call it spicy water in LA.
24:00 Pablo Torre? Over here on the East Coast, we know, we know it as seltzer. Whatever the hell you guys are, are lying to your kids about. We have, we have seltzer. Anyway, the point being like Violet drew a picture of her next to me and Liz and she's like crying. And like, and like we have like a can of like seltzer that she's like, she's, she expresses her emotions.
24:24 Speaker 01 Oh, she's crying because you won't give her seltzer?
24:26 Pablo Torre? Yes.
24:27 Speaker 01 That's pretty funny.
24:29 Pablo Torre? It's like emotionally holding us hostage by depicting us.
24:33 Speaker 01 Uh, so Nino doesn't draw yet because he's two. He can only draw like a squiggly angry line. But he, in terms of like representation of me, he does something that is also equally very telling, or at least, um, kind of gets to me. If there's a commercial and there's an Asian woman, he'll point to it and say, mama.
24:54 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah.
24:55 Speaker 01 And I'm like, Nino, my guy. Doesn't always have to be the Asian woman. We don't all look the same. I know you're two.
25:05 Pablo Torre? Yeah, there's, there's, I don't know. I, I could do parents talk. It turns out longer than I planned on doing parents talk.
25:14 Speaker 01 People love it. No, they don't.
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27:33 Pablo Torre? My timeline this week has been AI slop.
27:36 Speaker 01 Okay.
27:37 Pablo Torre? And Bad Bunny takes.
27:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, and sometimes the two merging.
27:41 Pablo Torre? I just think the NFL, from this perspective, from like the cultural perspective, this is what I wanted, I actually did want to talk to you about.
27:48 Speaker 01 What a transition. How do we get from?
27:50 Pablo Torre? Oh god, I'm so good at storytelling.
27:52 Speaker 01 You should have, you should have been from like the kids book part.
27:55 Pablo Torre? There is a shrink ray.
27:56 Speaker 01 Speaking of Bad Bunnies who are running away.
28:01 Pablo Torre? Speaking of Theodore, a good bunny, I want to tell you about a bad bunny. I just think it's so funny that the NFL is like suddenly this radically progressive institution because they chose the number one streaming artist in the world.
28:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know. It is kind of wild that for all of the,
28:23 Speaker 01 whenever people ask me about the NFL and like, you know, politics stuff, this is obviously during the Kaepernick era, there was more of a discussion around this. But now that that's like, kind of in the rear view, I always say like, the politics are money, man. Like, I don't know what to tell you guys. Like, this is not, there's, these aren't stands, like they're what, but it is very funny that like, this institution, which is, I don't think perceived as being on one side or the other, the culture war has gone back to back with Kendrick Lamar and Bad Bunny.
28:54 Pablo Torre? I know.
28:55 Speaker 01 That's like pretty interesting, right? But yeah, like they're following the money, they're following culture, they're following the international audience, especially with this move, which is, like, it's impossible to watch, if you actually watch football in the last few years and not recognize that it's like the fight as a priority for the NFL right now with games overseas.
29:16 Pablo Torre? It's very telling that they like, according to the reporting, wanted Taylor Swift.
29:22 Pablo Torre? And went to Bad Bunny. Like, the motive in both is there are demographics we would love access to.
29:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:30 Pablo Torre? And there are zillions of people.
29:31 Speaker 01 Right.
29:31 Pablo Torre? In those demographics.
29:32 Speaker 01 Right.
29:33 Pablo Torre? And as they say in The Simpsons, uh, money can be exchanged for goods and services. So we want more money. But then, like, I'm looking at the coverage of this, as always, and some of this is the most predictable. But like, the Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, uh, says, quote, "Well, it sounds like he's not someone who appeals to a broader audience." So that's his take on, like, why Bad Bunny is just like this. That's a leftist decision.
29:56 Speaker 01 In and of itself, a crazy sentence that the Speaker of the House is weighing in on Bad Bunny, playing.
30:00 Pablo Torre? Wanted Lee Greenwood.
30:02 Speaker 01 Does he do, what's, he does one of the USA songs, right? Lee Greenwood.
30:05 Pablo Torre? Yeah, he does the one song.
30:07 Speaker 01 Oh.
30:08 Pablo Torre? The only song, "God Bless the USA." I'm not like a giant Bad Bunny fan. It's not that I dislike him, I just haven't listened to a lot of his music. It's very clear to me, though, among my.
30:18 Speaker 01 He was right, Mike Johnson was right.
30:21 Speaker 01 I don't know any pop, I mean, we talked about it, we're both washed, I'm 40, I don't know.
30:26 Pablo Torre? Yeah, you're re-watching The Mask. Meanwhile, the streaming artist astride popular culture is escaping our view. But it's just very clear that, like, if you speak Spanish.
30:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:37 Pablo Torre? And you live in and around this continent, he's the guy.
30:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:41 Pablo Torre? So it's not to say, like, how dare you not know who Bad Bunny is. It's merely to say, like, look how much money Bad Bunny is gonna bring to the bottom line of a sport that has only one consistent principle, which is like
30:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:59 Pablo Torre? Growth.
31:00 Speaker 01 The reactionary stuff I've seen has been along either one of two lines, one of which is that a lot, I think, most of his music is not in English.
31:08 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
31:09 Speaker 01 So that's a thing. Or that he himself did a, has been outspoken about not performing in the US right now because of the ICE crackdown, and he had a residency in Puerto Rico. And I think I read somewhere it was like, it was like, like a GDP booster, like, it was like crazy the amount of money injected into the economy.
31:27 Pablo Torre? Which, which is, again, technically, part of the United States.
31:31 Speaker 01 So I think some of the backlash I've seen is in, well, he's been critical of this country and. I said this to you, but the craziest part of it all to me is like, there's a lot that's wild about it. I feel like if he was announced as a performer 15 years ago, it wouldn't have been controversial. And it's wild, like, that's like a crazy thing, right? Like, that we're moving backwards in terms of like, how these things are perceived. But don't you feel like that's true? If this was 2012 or whatever?
32:08 Pablo Torre? I feel like we were far more culturally adventurous.
32:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:11 Pablo Torre? In terms of like, what we're willing to tolerate as a matter of like, what makes political news.
32:16 Speaker 01 Yes, right.
32:18 Pablo Torre? So in terms of what the Super Bowl is, like, there are two ways to see Bad Bunny agreeing to do it.
32:24 Speaker 01 That's interesting, too.
32:25 Pablo Torre? So he agrees, despite all of this, knowing, by the way, that the NFL, in terms of its general cultural signaling,
32:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:31 Pablo Torre? is again, if they are progressive, it is in the service of an economic motive.
32:36 Speaker 01 Right. And so what are you, what are you aligning? Yeah, what does it mean to do it?
32:40 Pablo Torre? Yeah, and recently, the signal had been, of course, we want to get along with this administration.
32:46 Speaker 01 From the NFL, I mean?
32:48 Pablo Torre? We're not gonna, whatever, we're, end racism in the end zone, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
32:54 Speaker 01 It ended.
32:55 Pablo Torre? We ended racism.
32:56 Speaker 01 The end zones worked.
32:57 Pablo Torre? And those end zones.
32:58 Speaker 01 Enough touchdowns were scored.
33:00 Pablo Torre? Mission accomplished.
33:01 Speaker 01 His side of it, I think, is really interesting, right? Because, like I said, he's been taking this, what was perceived as a principled stand, and that's what led to some of the backlash. And I saw some folks kind of accuse him of selling out, you know? Sure. And I think I don't agree with that personally. There's two things. One, let's see the show first. Like, just starting there, right? Like, maybe before we talk about what he is and isn't accomplishing with this, and let's see it, right? I think that's a thing. But I also think, like,
33:35 Speaker 01 At this particular moment in American history, when so many Latinos in this country are being targeted, harassed, families ripped apart. I mean, I live in Los Angeles and seeing like just hardworking people afraid to go to work and
33:55 Pablo Torre? Yeah.
33:56 Speaker 01 congregate in public. But a moment while all this is happening.
33:58 Pablo Torre? The fear could not be more real.
34:00 Speaker 01 To have the world's biggest artist, take the world's biggest stage is in and of itself inherently a radical, and more than, maybe that's the wrong word. It's a powerful, like it, it shows people that they're still represented and they still have soft power. And I don't think that's insignificant. I don't. And it's, it's a reminder of, one, what art is capable of in moments like this, where we all feel pretty futile. You know, I really think a lot of artists feel like, what are we even doing? And also like of values that this country is supposed to be about, which is like celebrating difference and that's, so he has the opportunity, I think, to do something like kind of important.
34:42 Pablo Torre? I will point out that like when Kendrick performed and
34:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:46 Pablo Torre? did his show, it was less political than it was certainly like racially conscious.
34:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:54 Pablo Torre? And personally insulting to Drake.
35:00 Pablo Torre? Like the question there was like, what is Kendrick gonna say about Drake? And he said, quite a bit. And Samuel L. Jackson played a role that was
35:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:08 Pablo Torre? very well cast, but was not like a hammer.
35:11 Speaker 01 It wasn't hitting you over the face with, yeah, like politics.
35:14 Pablo Torre? Exactly, with politics. So in that way, like, you always wonder, when the NFL makes this choice, and again, this is a job that is not paid. Halftime performer is not a paid job. It is a job that you get paid through the exposure and platform, which is unparalleled, as he said. The question is always like, is there an agreement to just like understand we're playing to the biggest and only, really, the only big room left in this country?
35:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:44 Pablo Torre? And please don't abuse that privilege.
35:46 Speaker 01 I think, um, I was in the Kendrick thing, I was interested in that regard. I was like, is he gonna do something? I remember when Lady Gaga performed, that was also like, is she gonna say? Like, is there gonna be? And routinely, no.
35:57 Pablo Torre? No.
35:57 Speaker 01 It's been just about the music. I think, you know, I guess what I just feel strongly though is like, The music itself is kind of enough at this moment. I really believe like it's a big thing.
36:08 Pablo Torre? But yes, hearing Spanish on the Super Bowl halftime show feels, to your point, it does feel radical, given what everything else is signaling to Spanish speakers in America.
36:20 Speaker 01 I think back to the Kendrick, by the way, performance and there was so much, this is sort of connected to what you're saying about like what's actually popular and what do people really want and who was actually like, um, you know, there was all that talk about like, ah, people are gonna change a channel. Nobody's changed a channel. The ratings were insane.
36:35 Pablo Torre? I know.
36:36 Speaker 01 And no one's gonna change the channel this time.
36:38 Pablo Torre? They could put a football on a table and they would draw millions of viewers.
36:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, right.
36:43 Pablo Torre? Like a literal football, I mean, like a, like a children's book football.
36:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:47 Pablo Torre? With like a talking face on it.
36:49 Speaker 01 I have one of those actually at my house. People give me so much football stuff for my kid. He now knows how to, he says hut hut hike when he sees it. Hut hut hike. He probably listens to Bad Bunny. He's two. Probably knows the words.
37:03 Pablo Torre? Hugo. He wants that, uh, what, what's it, what's? Manzano, Hugo de Manzano.
37:08 Speaker 01 Damit Hugo, Mas Hugo. Hemi. Mas. He says mas actually when he wants more stuff. He's a big mas guy. Live mas.
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38:26 Speaker 07 Hey, I'm Max Brown. You know The Athletic is home to the world's best sports journalism, but this fall, just in time for football season, we're launching something unlike anything we've ever done. We're building a daily show streaming live on YouTube. Me, Kofi Yoboa, Charles McDonald, and The Athletic's own Zach Harper and Daniel Popper. We'll be hosting live watch-alongs of the biggest games with award-winning analysis and behind-the-scenes insights from athletic insiders. On off days, we'll go deeper into the hard-hitting stories you can't get enough of. And we want you, the smartest fans in sports, to be part of it. Come drop questions in the chat and we'll bring the answers straight from the source. The Athletic Live, presented by Google Gemini. Follow us on YouTube and we'll see you in the chat.
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39:55 Pablo Torre? What did we find out today?
39:58 Speaker 01 Um, that we... Apparently, you're not going to talk about football?
40:02 Pablo Torre? Oh, we did. We had a... Oh, [BLEEP]. There was a football story I wanted to talk about.
40:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:06 Pablo Torre? No, genuinely, I am interested in the... There's this football story that I want to actually talk about.
40:13 Speaker 01 Okay.
40:13 Pablo Torre? It's a Seahawks story.
40:14 Speaker 01 A Seahawks story?
40:15 Pablo Torre? It's a Seahawks story. So what's the name of your kicker again?
40:17 Speaker 01 Jason Myers.
40:18 Pablo Torre? So the Jason Myers thing in which your Seahawks beat the Cardinals in a very dramatic...
40:23 Speaker 01 Super dramatic.
40:24 Pablo Torre? ...uh, fashion.
40:27 Speaker 00 The kick wobbles, but makes it through.
40:35 Speaker 00 And the Seahawks win it at the gun.
40:38 Pablo Torre? This field goal was clutch.
40:40 Speaker 01 Clutch, yeah.
40:41 Pablo Torre? And it came with this, like, warning label around, like, a prohibited substance.
40:48 Speaker 01 It was not prohibited smelling. So he took a big whiff of smelling salts, which are not prohibited if you bring your own, which that might be the only instance in recorded history of drugs being okay if you bring your own. They're not drugs, sorry.
41:04 Pablo Torre? Yeah, yeah.
41:04 Speaker 01 Spanned substances, BYO.
41:08 Pablo Torre? BYO S.
41:09 Speaker 01 Versus teen-provided smelling salts. But clearly it worked because he banged that sucker in. It's weird to me that you haven't done this on this show. It feels like something way up your alley to try smelling salts.
41:20 Pablo Torre? Do we have the salts?
41:22 Speaker 01 No one has the salts lying around.
41:23 Pablo Torre? Yeah, bring the salts in.
41:24 Speaker 01 Wait, you really? Oh, my gosh. How did I predict this?
41:29 Pablo Torre? I almost forgot. I'm like, what is the one thing we prepped today?
41:32 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, I've never actually
41:35 Pablo Torre? Yeah, you're a Seahawks, man.
41:36 Speaker 01 experienced this. Instant energy and mental clarity. How long does it last?
41:40 Pablo Torre? Wow. A fleeting moment? 100% natural.
41:45 Speaker 01 Shake the bottle.
41:46 Pablo Torre? This is a Boom Boom nasal stick.
41:48 Speaker 01 Mine says instant energy and mental clarity. It has kind of like a Monster Energy looking logo. Where did you guys buy this on the internet? Let me see the ingredients on that one.
41:56 Pablo Torre? It says, "Ideal for athletes," in tiny text on the bottom.
41:59 Speaker 01 Ingredients: ammonium carbonate. This feels more
42:03 Pablo Torre? Want to do that one?
42:03 Speaker 01 illicit. Yeah, so I just, I just shake it and then unscrew it.
42:13 Pablo Torre? They're saying, "Don't put it too close to your face." This is Mina Kimes trying smelling salts.
42:20 Speaker 01 Oh, my God!
42:23 Pablo Torre? Oh, no.
42:29 Speaker 01 I put it way too close to my face.
42:31 Pablo Torre? You are actively crying right now.
42:38 Speaker 01 I feel like I could kick 20 field goals.
42:44 Pablo Torre? Oh, fuck.
42:46 Speaker 01 It's strong. Holy shit.
42:50 Pablo Torre? Oh gee, you know what that, you know that, that felt like getting-
42:53 Speaker 01 It all went into one nostril, too.
42:55 Pablo Torre? That went entirely in my left nostril and it felt like I just got shot with a chlorinated pool.
43:02 Pablo Torre? Like, Jesus Christ.
43:03 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, it's the chlorine feeling, but like times a million.
43:07 Pablo Torre? Oh my god.
43:08 Speaker 01 Did it give you, I mean, if I was-
43:09 Pablo Torre? My, my left eye is tearing because it went in my left nostril. My right nostril, I think, is congested.
43:15 Speaker 01 Oh, this is, it can't be that strong on the sideline because people would be freaking out constantly.
43:21 Pablo Torre? I'm ready to podcast.
43:25 Speaker 01 Jeez.
43:27 Pablo Torre? Boost focus.
43:29 Speaker 01 I do feel focused.
43:30 Pablo Torre? I feel incredibly focused. I have instant energy and mental clarity. Holy shit.
43:36 Pablo Torre? Um, yeah, that should be illegal.
43:38 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
43:39 Pablo Torre? This should be illegal.
43:40 Speaker 01 Do you think this would actually help you kick a field goal?
43:43 Pablo Torre? I feel like I could kick a hole through this wall.
43:47 Pablo Torre? Oh, god.
43:48 Speaker 01 Wow. Yeah, that is, I, I, see, I always thought it was not like that. I, I thought it was more like a coffee type feeling, not like a being injected with Compound V type feeling. I feel like somebody just walked up behind me and hit me with the opposite of a tranquilizer.
44:08 Pablo Torre? I just don't think I'm gonna forget that smell for the rest of my life. It's just like, it just permanently, I just sold a share of my brain to this rip-off monster energy drink smelling salt.
44:19 Speaker 01 You hit it, though. It really does feel like jumping into like a pool that's been like chlorinated.
44:26 Pablo Torre? Because too many kids have been peeing in it and they like know they gotta really chlorinate it. Like, that's what the inside of my brain smells like.
44:33 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
44:35 Pablo Torre? Can you imagine just like doing this before NFL Live?
44:40 Speaker 01 I don't think this would actually help my performance in any ways because I feel focused, but not in a good way.
44:45 Pablo Torre? Do you feel focused, strength and energy, which are the three icons that are on this thing?
44:48 Speaker 01 I definitely don't feel strength. I feel like somebody with a gigantic hand slapped me in the face.
44:56 Speaker 01 Trying to describe to the podcast audience what's going through my mind right now.
45:01 Pablo Torre? I...
45:02 Speaker 01 I feel like I dunked my head in cold water. I pulled my head out. Somebody slapped me in the face.
45:09 Pablo Torre? What I found out today is that these smelling salts, much like everything I've learned about parenting and everything I've learned about aging, is a cliche we should respect.
45:23 Speaker 01 That's a good one, yeah. I learned that I'm going to have to start innovating my own stories for my kid, which I haven't even thought about that. And I'm going to have to start getting more creative and maybe I'll have to take some of those before bedtime.
45:35 Pablo Torre? I was going to say, I know what Barnaby and Theodore are doing next.
45:40 Pablo Torre? They're ripping some salts.
45:42 Speaker 01 Somebody stop me!
45:53 Pablo Torre? Pablo Torre Finds Out is produced by Walter Avaroma, Maxwell Carney, Ryan Cortez, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rob McCray, Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor and Chris Tumanello. Our studio engineering by RG Systems. Sound design by Andrew Bersick and NGW Post. Theme song, as always, by John Bravo. And we will talk to you next time.
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Previous Share & "Retire" & Tell with Dan Patrick and Dan Le Batard (and LeBron's Hands) Next Enter the Dungeon: An IRL Showdown with Mark Cuban on Kawhi-Gate Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated