Share & Squirrel & Tell with Elle Duncan and Desus Nice

Do we need robot umpires more than we thought? Is Netflix the Yankees of media? What's the best kind of catfishing? And have we finally evolved beyond pizza rat? Plus: Aaron Judge choking, Teanna Trump choking, an old man smoking with a crowd... and the price of free p*rn. • Vote for PTFO at The Webby Awards: Best Sports Podcast https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2026/podcasts/shows/sports + Experimental & Innovation https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2026/podcasts/features/experimental-innovation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Pablo Torre?

  Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre and today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  You suck at your job! I'm better than you!

• 0:10Pablo Torre?

  And if you listen to our show on Apple Podcasts, you can now watch video there as well. Just update to the latest iOS, head over to our show page to start watching. But for right now, just a quick word from our sponsors.

• 0:26Speaker 02

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• 0:59Pablo Torre?

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• 1:41Pablo Torre?

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• 2:08Speaker 03

  I went to the doctor today and as I'm checking in the receptionist goes, "I'm a fan, but don't wear that bullsh** in here."

• 2:13Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  And I was like, I was like, "Oh, wow."

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Is that where you guys are at? Where are you at in the grief cycle of being a Knicks fan?

• 2:20Speaker 03

  No, it's actually a weird thing now because it's reality. Because it's like before the Knicks were just so terrible, you had no hope. So then, you know, you get into like the coke dream of, "Oh, my God, the Knicks are doing it this year." And then it's just like, you can no longer look at the Knicks through the lens you used to look at, where it's like, "Hey, they lose all the time." Now it's like, "Hey, are they really contenders?" Then you have to put some pressure on them.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  And really treat them like a real team. And you have to come to reality because like, I'm just like, "Oh, you know, they'll figure it out by the playoffs." And now it's just like, maybe not.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Big change, of course, too, because New York sports fans notoriously put no pressure on their teams. So now you're having to do that, which is probably like a real...

• 2:55Speaker 03

  But the beauty is I have the Yankees now. So now I can hate on the Yankees.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  There it is. They're ballin'.

• 2:59Pablo Torre?

  What kind of, what drug is the dream that is this Yankee season? If the Knicks are historically a coke dream, what is a Yankee season these days?

• 3:07Speaker 03

  The beauty of being a Yankee fan for, since birth, the way I have is I, I grew up knowing it has to be the World Series and bust.

• 3:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  And if it's not the World Series, it's a bust. So I've already gotten used to the idea it's gonna be a bust. I'm not expecting them to win. I'm expecting them to waste my time all season. We're gonna go on a hot streak. We're gonna like, lose for a couple of weeks. Go on another hot streak, go into playoffs, do our thing for maybe the first two rounds and then just choke.

• 3:33Pablo Torre?

  Great.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  You know, just watch Aaron Judge choke in situat... You know, he's gonna have a great year, but the at-bats that we see are not gonna take. And everyone's gonna be like, "He's a bum. He's the worst player ever." You know, typical Yankee stuff.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  God, is this Yankees fan gonna make this Braves fan defend Aaron Judge a little bit? There are three former MVPs on that team. And I get it, like, he's the captain, but he hit 500 in the postseason last year.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  He did, but it's not good enough.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying, though. I feel like he's a victim of his own success, Pablo. Like, you expect a homerun every time the man comes up to bat.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Every time.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  But he had seven RBI and he hit 500 last year in the playoffs.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  He's still a bum.

• 4:07Pablo Torre?

  I like how the, the face of Netflix sports and Major League Baseball now.

• 4:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:12Pablo Torre?

  Is, is trying to convince these that Aaron Judge is good, actually.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  No, he's great. I love Aaron Judge. Got the jersey and everything. Hate him.

• 4:18Pablo Torre?

  Hold on, before we do the sports stuff, I do want to explain that part of the reason I want to bring you guys together is not merely because I suspected that you guys would enjoy each other. It's also because when it comes to the jobs you both had before you got into media. I think you've both lived an interesting...

• 4:35Pablo Torre?

  Bunch of resumes.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:37Pablo Torre?

  Jesus, can you give us the capsule summary of some of the things you did before you got into what resembles entertainment and media?

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Programming for the New York Public Library, bought and sold domain names, did encryption programming for various porn companies, was a nightclub bouncer, manager, co-check person. What else have I done? Ooh, possible drug dealer.

• 5:02Speaker 04

  Possible.

• 5:02Speaker 03

  Librarian.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Did you sell drugs at the library? It's a great combo hustle.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  No, I should, no, that was back when I was more innocent.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  Oh, got you, okay.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  That was before I became jaded with my soul.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  Got you.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  I actually cared as a librarian. Like, I was reading The Hungry Caterpillar to kids.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  Oh, that's really cute.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  And there's a kid in Riverdale who, he kicked the back door and I choked him out because, you know, that's New York. And I told that story once on Twitter, and somebody was like, whoa, were you the black guy at this li-? And I was like, you know what, I'm not answering that question because you are gonna sue me. Because I definitely choked you out, little boy.

• 5:33Pablo Torre?

  Al, have you choked out anybody in your previous life?

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Uh, I never had to choke anybody out, although I did have someone attack me at one of the clubs I was hosting, because I did also have a bit of a whirling dervish of jobs. I was a bartender, I washed hair for a living, I also hosted a gospel music channel show.

• 5:53Pablo Torre?

  What?

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Um, I don't know any gospel music. And, uh, yeah, radio, traffic, television, but I was hosting a club at a nightclub in Atlanta called The Velvet Room. Anyone from Atlanta is very familiar. And, um, at the end of the night, I was leaving, it was my 25th birthday, and this girl wanted to fight one of my friends who was completely inebriated and not ready to fight. I mean, I don't like to fight either, but I was gonna, of course, defend my friend. And I was like, hey, you know, I'm gonna be the adult in the room. I haven't been drinking, I've been working, like, this is my place of business. Hey there, we're in the parking lot, enough of this, you know, you guys can settle this. And before I could even get it out, she swung on me. And I don't know if she had taken bath salts, but this girl could, was, would not be stopped. She was like the Terminator.

• 6:36Pablo Torre?

  Oh, wow.

• 6:37Speaker 04

  So, we had to fight. And she ripped my dress, and she pulled my hair, just all the particulars that you usually do that I had come accustomed to seeing people doing fights on television. And, um, yeah, I did a couple moves, um, karate chopped her in the back of the neck, she went flying into the pavement, busted her mouth open.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  But then hopped back up.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  And so kept going.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Hence the bath salts. I was like, this is- So eventually, you know, finally, the guys came in and separated us and the rest is history.

• 7:03Pablo Torre?

  And now you co-host baseball games with Barry Bonds.

• 7:06Speaker 04

  I love that. Nice turn.

• 7:26Pablo Torre?

  I want to get into some of the baseball stuff because I have a pet cause that I now realize has become the reality. Let's go. The ABS system, around the horn, starting in 2012, I was calling for robot umpires. Look, man, I've been talking about robot umpires for nine years. Finally, we're getting these things tested, right? Experimentally at the lower levels of baseball. The question, though, that baseball has to ask itself and we as sports fans have to ask ourselves, do we want accuracy or do we want entertainment? And over time, I sort of backed off of it because I was like, it's not fun to yell at a robot.

• 8:10Pablo Torre?

  You sort of lose the thing of how mad people get at umpires and the satisfaction of like cursing an authority figure who's

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 8:17Pablo Torre?

  who's a human. But the ABS system, as Major League Baseball has pioneered it, has given us the best of all worlds. So, L, before we get into the Netflix stuff, before we get into like the finer points of your experience with the sport, can you explain the ABS system and why it's been a revelation?

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, basically, they measure your height. It's been a revelation because we are finally exposing all of these dudes who claim to be 6'3" and are actually 5'10".

• 8:46Pablo Torre?

  It's incredible, honestly, to have precision like this. It's unprecedented in sports.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  100%, where we get an actual depiction of how tall you are. So it measures how tall you are and then it comes up with your strike zone. And there's been, there was a report that came out yesterday, all these dudes have been exposed. Six dudes at least have lied about being three inches taller than they actually were. The batter and the pitcher are the only ones that can call a challenge. You've got two seconds. You gotta tap your head, make a signal. If the umpire thinks for any reason you were tipped or you waited too long, they can deny you the challenge. But I think why it's been a revelation is because Listen, I was on the Netflix game when Jose Caballero decided to challenge with his team up by five runs on an 0-0 count and no outs, uh, which seemed absolutely absurd to me. But at the end of games,

• 9:35Speaker 04

  when these guys get it wrong, and I think the best marketing tool for ABS was what happened at the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic, where they ended on that super questionable call. You want to be able to get it right in the end. I don't care about using it in the first and second inning, but so far, it's also exposed some of these umpires who are tragically wrong consistently.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  We love complaining, we love embarrassing people. So you get to do both. You get to complain that they don't know what they're doing. And then when they show it on the jump-a-tron and you just hear the crowd roar, and you just see how sad the ump looks like, wow, I'm gonna lose my job.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's great.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Oh, it's so good.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  It's great.

• 10:07Pablo Torre?

  The thing I underrated was the way in which the robot would be the ally of the fan.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:15Pablo Torre?

  And so, the ump who is most in the dunk tank these days is a gentleman by the name of C.B. Buckner.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 10:23Speaker 06

  Got him, look at challenge, immediate tap of the helmet. The Reds runners all hold. Batter's challenging the pitch.

• 10:31Pablo Torre?

  Bases loaded, two strikes, two outs.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Top of the sixth, 3-5 game.

• 10:36Speaker 06

  ABS powered by T-Mobile, that's out of the zone, the inning continues.

• 10:43Speaker 04

  Oh my God, what's the ump gonna do?

• 10:45Pablo Torre?

  So C.B. Buckner already is just like getting cucked by a machine.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:50Pablo Torre?

  And then, the very next pitch.

• 10:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:57Speaker 06

  Now the 2-2.

• 11:00Speaker 06

  Called strike 3, tap the helmet again. He says it's off the plate.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  He's so annoyed.

• 11:05Speaker 06

  Batter's challenging the pitch.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  Here we go.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  It is so beautiful, the presentation, how dramatic it is.

• 11:17Speaker 04

  It really is, it's so dramatic.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  They measure it.

• 11:24Pablo Torre?

  You are 1.1 inches away.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Just twisting the knife in his back. Hey, look at the fans.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  You suck at your job, I'm better than you.

• 11:34Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, the thing that we did is not robots to replace people's jobs, but humans to use robots to point out the people who are terrible at their jobs.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:44Pablo Torre?

  And that feels like a winning political position that I had not considered before.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  And also, I feel like we don't have to limit this to baseball. Like, I'm gonna start tapping my hat, just in general stuff in life.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  You mess up my coffee order? Let's go, review it.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  And the best part, if people don't know what you're doing, you just look crazy. But if they do, they're gonna be so mad.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  They're gonna, yeah.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  They're like, really?

• 12:02Pablo Torre?

  What was the most offensive hand gesture? It was like the too small thing.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, too small.

• 12:07Pablo Torre?

  Doing?

• 12:08Speaker 04

  I think it's this now.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  Or the scoop.

• 12:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:11Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, yeah. But doing this.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:15Pablo Torre?

  Doing this.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  If you do that on the train to somebody, like, like you're fighting to get a seat, they get there first, you're like.

• 12:21Speaker 04

  Run the tape, run the tape.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Challenge.

• 12:23Pablo Torre?

  Also, when I am making fun of Al for being the face of baseball, I'm not really joking.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  I wanna be very clear here.

• 12:32Pablo Torre?

  But I was watching Al, who I've known from our time at ESPN together. You're on a set, and it's just like you and all these Hall of Famers, and you're like figuring out, okay, so Netflix, which is the worldwide leader of everything, is gonna do sports, specifically gonna do baseball. And something happened with the ABS, Al, where history was made, but...

• 12:53Speaker 07

  Every one of their hitters is capable of doing damage, and he's got good stuff, so it's battle, you know, a battle that you're gonna see each at bat. I think there's a couple of things that are different than maybe in the past, or some things that they've seen in particular tonight. Um, so they're just trying to communicate and stay ahead of the game.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Appreciate it, Tom.

• 13:08Speaker 07

  Thank you so much.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Matty.

• 13:10Speaker 08

  Yeah, Laura, thanks. We've had our first ABS challenge.

• 13:14Pablo Torre?

  It was not enshrined in Cooperstown, the first ABS experience.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Listen, I get it. I think the timing is super unfortunate. Every single broadcast does an in-game interview, whether it's with a player out in the field, or with a coach in the dugout, and they do cutaways and whatnot. But this, like... This idea of people being outraged, I'm like, what? You were gonna go to the Smithsonian and watch it over and over again? That's, you were hoping for its official enshrinement into baseball lore? Like, [bleep] out of here, y'all stop. You don't care that much. Stop it. And also, let's be real, I said it before. Nobody thought you would challenge an 0-0 count up five runs, like, with no one on base. It doesn't matter. It's not an 0-2 count. It did not affect the game. There are no runners in scoring position. I'm just saying, like, that was bad luck. Was it unfortunate?

• 14:03Speaker 04

  The timing was not great? But like, you know, the outrage is so ridiculous. It doesn't fit the crime.

• 14:08Pablo Torre?

  But this is the thing about being on Netflix. It's like...

• 14:12Speaker 04

  It's the evil empire.

• 14:14Pablo Torre?

  You guys are the New York Yankees of media now.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:16Pablo Torre?

  Yeah. And so you come in and all these eyeballs are on. And it's like, what the [bleep] are these people doing?

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Here's what I'll say about the criticism. I am learning.

• 14:25Pablo Torre?

  Because there were criticisms about like, oh, there's a stand-up comic. You guys are serving hot dogs after the game. You're trying to make this thing...

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Netflix-y?

• 14:33Pablo Torre?

  Netflix-y.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  Like, literally, that's what we told you from the beginning. So, here's the thing. Because there is feedback that's constructive, right? Constructive feedback is too many promos. Message received as the person that was reading the promos? The shark one. Because it was like, uh, Bert Kreischer, out in the water. That sounds like the beginning of a shark movie. Speaking of which, you know as a broadcaster, whenever you have to say, "Speaking of which", your segue was [bleep]. And so I tried so hard to make that work. So, like, yes, message received, like, like, as soon as we got off air, you know, right? The Netflix brass was like, "Yeah, probably too many promos, message received." Score bug. Real feedback, like, it was too small, whatever, that's cool. All of that is real constructive criticism that is very fixable and will be fixed. But whenever there's criticism, like, that I saw of like, you know,

• 15:21Speaker 04

  "It was just so Netflix. It was just, it was, it was, it was not for baseball purists." Well, first of all... I come from a baseball purist mother who will watch 162 Braves games this year. She would have watched opening day if you would broadcast it on the [bleep] moon, alright? This was not for baseball, like, purists. You'll watch it anywhere. This was for the baseball curious, and we told you that coming in. Like, this is for... And in fact, a lot of what Netflix is doing in the sports world is, yes, for the people that are always going to watch those sports, but also for the people that maybe tuned in to watch Love is Blind, saw the button for opening day on Netflix and thought, alright, I'll check it out. And so I just think, like, listen, this is like going to a Mexican restaurant and then bitching that they don't have barbecue.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  They advertised as a Mexican restaurant. It's your fault that you somehow thought they were gonna serve barbecue there. Netflix has made no qualms about who they are. Like, we're gonna adventize these things, we're gonna pull people from the Netflix universe, like, that's what we're going to do. Um, yes, we could probably save some of the promos, but you're telling me that no sports network has ever had a comedian on before? There's dudes who make, like, whole careers out of doing sports, stuff like that. And I'm sorry if you didn't like Burt Kreischer. I'm sorry he took up six minutes of your four-hour viewing experience. So I just think, like, if you're asking us to, like, stop being Netflix-y, if you're asking us to stop using Jason Bateman or John Cena to explain ABS or any of these other huge movie stars that every other network would love to have on their broadcast,

• 16:49Speaker 04

  ultimately, asking us not to, like, be Netflix is just, like, not a thing that's gonna happen. So I gotta delete my tweet about the Cavs and the lean back? I was like, I turned into the oldest New Yorker ever. I was like, what the hell is this? They got, they got livery cabs on the [bleep] field? What is this? Also, it was not Netflix. Like, like, like, MLB wanted this to feel really big. It was a standalone game for the first time, like, ever. It was supposed to be big, big, big. Hence the trolley cars and the cabs and the, you know, and the comedians doing the lineups and all of that. I mean, my son is five years old. He was never gonna watch that baseball game, but I told Jay Uso would be there, and he watched.

• 17:25Pablo Torre?

  So, the through line in the, in this entire conversation about baseball is that baseball has figured out ways, as a sport, to do crazy-sounding things that I used to pitch on Around the Horn. And implement it and somehow the fans have come along. And at all times, when you're working through like, you're trying to navigate, what are a baseball fan's kinks? Sometimes what a baseball fan wants is to feel like the oldest person in the world.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Yes. It's the greatest feeling in the world.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  Nostalgia. They love that cra- they love nostalgia.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Or just, just being a curmudgeon and complaining. Like yesterday, lovely, beautiful day, MLB is like, hey, these are the new foods coming in different ballparks and everything. Me, I'm sitting there, I'm like, whatever happened to hot dogs and burgers?

• 18:09Speaker 04

  Right. Where's my crackerjack?

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  I just want boiled peanuts.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. What was all the, you can't get a black coffee anymore? And it's just like, and then I'm, I'm looking at myself, I was like, what are you complaining about? I was like, you can always get a hot dog and a hamburger.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  Still available.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  And then you start lying. You're like, yeah, I didn't have this in the old stadium. Cause if you, if you ask me, the old Yankee stadium, all it sold was hot dogs.

• 18:30Pablo Torre?

  Never been the same.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Water, black coffee.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  And beer.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  And Shasta soda. That's it. Nothing new. None of this fancy stuff. We didn't have napkins. And everyone's like, that's not how, and like, no, that's what we remember. But, you know, and then also I'm a big hypocrite because if you see me at a Yankee game, yes, I will be in the Delta section eating a lobster roll.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Yes, you will. Out of a helmet.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Out of a helmet.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  Gleefully.

• 18:51Pablo Torre?

  So my personal perspective was not everything about the broadcast worked as you just outlined and much did.

• 18:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:57Pablo Torre?

  And the thing that I'm grateful for as someone who is endlessly shoveling content into a content furnace, like it's coal, is thank god some new [BLEEP] is happening that we can talk about.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  100%. I just think like, ultimately, you know, we wanna take big swings and like, if you're there for the baseball, like we had Barry freaking Bonds. That dude doesn't do television.

• 19:16Pablo Torre?

  I know.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  They somehow convinced Barry Bonds to do TV and he was telling stories and he was.

• 19:21Pablo Torre?

  It kind of felt like, who, who lied to Barry Bonds to get him to like, do this? Like, how, did he know he was gonna be like talking?

• 19:29Speaker 04

  Oh, you think we like baited and switched him? We were like, we're just gonna give you an award and then we threw him on the desk?

• 19:33Speaker 03

  It's Barry Bonds day. It's like, Barry, you're getting into the Hall of Fame. Come to this stadium on opening night. And it's like, oh, I'm here to, I'm here to, I'm here to do media.

• 19:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I have to do media. No. He was actually like super, it was cool because it was, he was a rookie and self admittedly, and he was like soliciting feedback and you know.

• 19:53Pablo Torre?

  You were hazing, you were hazing Barry Bonds?

• 19:54Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm like coaching up Barry Bonds. I was like, you can do this, be anecdotal, lean on this, da, da, da, da. And that was really cool. Rizzo had never done television before. Albert's done television, obviously. We all met the day before. So I'm really proud of like.

• 20:07Pablo Torre?

  You actually Love is Blinded, your co-hosts.

• 20:10Speaker 04

  And so I was really proud of like how everybody rallied. They were all in. They really tried to work as a team. And again, nothing is as good the first time as it's the second, third, or fourth, but that was our first time ever working together. I thought it was a really good product. I wish the game was better. I know you liked it. But yeah, ultimately, like I feel really good about, you know, what we did. And it was really nice, the nice things that were said about me, but ultimately like.

• 20:31Pablo Torre?

  People liked you. My one suggestion was, could you have a guy also be climbing a skyscraper who might die at any moment?

• 20:36Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:37Pablo Torre?

  Could we have that in the back?

• 20:38Speaker 04

  Just for double effect?

• 20:39Pablo Torre?

  Just in the outfield somewhere.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  For drama?

• 20:40Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  100%.

• 20:41Pablo Torre?

  Just the threat of a life fatality.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely. At any moment. We'll just check in with, I'm sure someone would have had something to complain about with that too.

• 20:54Pablo Torre?

  This message is brought to you by Apple Card. With Apple Card, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases, like groceries, or merch, or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted. No matter your team, no matter where you shop, Apple Card is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank, USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.

• 21:31Pablo Torre?

  I want to get to a grand jury charging document that I read. There's also this NFLPA memo that was circulated because a 34-year-old man from Beaufort, Georgia, named Kwame Jorrell Ford, had dozens of victims. And the way that he victimized these NFL and NBA players who were among those dozens, was he posed allegedly as a well-known adult film star named Tiana Trump.

• 22:00Pablo Torre?

  There she is.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  There she is.

• 22:01Pablo Torre?

  This is a visual aid to show that she is not one of the Trump family's

• 22:04Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 22:05Pablo Torre?

  Many, uh...

• 22:06Speaker 04

  I wondered. I was like, is that maybe one of the ones that they adopted to feel better about what they do?

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Shout out to all the innocent people who didn't automatically have an image of her as soon as you heard the name. Or didn't have like a favorite scene or anything, you know, you know?

• 22:16Pablo Torre?

  What's the scatter part on Tiana Trump? Why would she be a useful fit person to impersonate?

• 22:21Speaker 04

  You see, we both looked at Desus.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  Uh, fill us in. Tell us about this sports star, please.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  She's a strong number three, you know? Uh, she keeps the dialogue going in the opening scenes, you know? Doesn't get affected by light changing position, uh, not afraid of the fluids. Strong finisher. You know, I definitely put her in like, you know, put her before the cleanup guy. You know, she's just like, they, listen, old school.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  Is there like a, like a sports comp, like an athlete comp, like she's the blank of porn?

• 22:46Speaker 03

  She's like a, I'm thinking maybe like a Josh Hart, kinda.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  You know, a little breast milk, that kinda thing.

• 22:51Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 22:52Pablo Torre?

  Bangs down low. Um, I should clarify that Kwame and Jarrell Ford, not actually Tiana Trump. And the thing he did, which I think brings us squarely into Desus's sort of, uh, resume here.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Let's go.

• 23:05Pablo Torre?

  Is that, allegedly, um, is that there was a, something of a catfishing scheme, although the catfishing concept is sort of underselling it. So, this dude was allegedly impersonating Tiana Trump. And there are now 22 charges to which he has pleaded not guilty. Nine counts of wire fraud, seven counts of computer fraud, one count of access device fraud, four counts of aggravated entity theft, one charge of sex trafficking, which I will explain, because the dude was not merely impersonating Tiana Trump to these athletes. He was also, uh, posing as a Apple customer service account. And so this is a bit of the cleverness here. Because what this guy would do allegedly is falsely represent to the professional athlete that he was receiving

• 23:47Pablo Torre?

  a video file shared through an iCloud account that required him to reply with a multi-factor authentication code. We're all familiar with this. And so there would be a code sent to the athlete. And that athlete would share that code with the Apple customer service rep, who is this dude? And that guy suddenly now had access to all these athletes iCloud accounts.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 24:08Pablo Torre?

  And that was honestly, I was, when I saw that in the grand jury document, I was like, damn, that's a good idea.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  That is brilliant, that is. See, that's the problem with scammers, because for all that effort, if he did something legit, he'd be rich and successful, but no, people, they're just like, no, I'm gonna use all this smarts for just terrible stuff.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm gonna use my powers for evil.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  And then also, when you get that code, every time someone sends you that code, they're like, do not share this code with anybody.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Do not share this code. This person's like, yeah, the code that I got sent, yeah, I'll give it to you right now. So, wow.

• 24:38Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, so, uh, this guy, previously in 2019 in the Northern District of Georgia, had been convicted of computer fraud and aggravated identity theft for similar phishing attacks. He had previously spent nearly $325,000 by using victims' stolen financial information. And this scheme allegedly began in November of 2020, while he was still in custody in the Federal Bureau of Prisons, according to prosecutors.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  There you go. Can't keep a good man down, I'm imagining.

• 25:05Pablo Torre?

  This dude's scheme escalated in May of 2021, allegedly. He was also not merely posing as Tiana Trump. He was also recruiting an OnlyFans creator, making these promises that would advance the victim's modeling career.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 25:19Pablo Torre?

  This OnlyFans creator was then going to have sex with the athletes, and then, you might not be surprised to learn, they were being taped without the athlete's knowledge.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 25:28Pablo Torre?

  But it always returns to me, to the notion that, man, athletes really need those, uh, you know, like when, when HR will send those test emails?

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 25:38Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:39Pablo Torre?

  Like, you have been spearfished. You have, you just clicked on a link that now resulted in the stealing of your identity. Like, athletes need that more than any other population that I've ever encountered.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  The amount of people who fall for those, they won't even send you like a complex email. They'll just be like, click here for a Chipotle gift card. And I have one of our friends, and she constantly falls for it.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  Like, maybe five times, she's fallen for it. And I was like, why do you keep clicking on it? She was like, I'm not gonna pass up a free gift card from Chipotle.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  You had me at free.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  People fall for it, but yes, NBA athletes definitely need that, because I've seen some in the club and... Listen, life is hard for them, you know, everything's a challenge. So if you don't have a good manager, you need someone to like go through emails.

• 26:19Pablo Torre?

  Lots of natural predators in that ecosystem.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  Oh, for sure. Yeah, and you are always, always the meal. Um, but I will say this, there was a part of the story to me that was muy confusing because it's like, um, that he would say to the athletes, this is at least what I read, that he would say to the athletes, like, if you want these pictures of Tiana Trump, then you have to send your account details. And they were like, sending account details and things like that. The thing that does not make sense to me is that, um, she has one of those jobs where like by function of the job, you can just like Google nudies of her. So why would you need to give up any information to have access to pictures of someone who has many naked pictures readily available for free?

• 27:04Speaker 03

  You know what, some guys, I've heard, they, um, they like to brag that they know what porn stars are, and the biggest brag you do if you know what porn stars are is show a picture of her in clothes doing regular stuff.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Oh, so not even?

• 27:18Speaker 03

  Because you're like, oh, I know her in real life.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Or they do the reverse thing that groupies used to do with rappers, where they'll say a rapper's real name.

• 27:26Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  And they're like, you're like, oh, you hang with this rapper? Yeah, I was hanging with Andre. You're like, oh. So they'll say the porn star's real name, or they'll be like, yeah, we got coffee out in Silver Lake or something like that. But for that person, they're like, look, I'm so cool. I've gotten past the veil.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  Right, yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  I'm over the wall.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  This is her with zit cream on, see?

• 27:45Pablo Torre?

  Here she is filing.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Look at her, no makeup.

• 27:48Pablo Torre?

  Filing her tax returns.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Look at her, she stayed in bed all day because she has IBS.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  She had dairy last night, she was having like a huge problem.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Free Chipotle guard, struck again.

• 28:01Pablo Torre?

  Oh my God. I mean, but look, Jesus, when you worked on the proverbial backend of porn company, infrastructure.

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 28:09Pablo Torre?

  What did you learn about your customers?

• 28:11Speaker 03

  They are insane. They are insane and big horny. Huge horny, big, like, shout out to men, because, and I've always figured this, the blood it takes to make the erection steals blood from your brain, so you don't think clearly. Because one porn site I worked for, we would do marketing, and I was doing the DNS. I wasn't dual, listen, I wasn't spread eagle in front of the camera, nothing like that.

• 28:34Pablo Torre?

  DNS is a technical acronym.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  Domain name services, setting up emails, setting up the server, the addresses, all that thing. What we did was a little...

• 28:42Speaker 04

  He was giving that DNS.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Hey, hey, say that for Netflix. So, we, um, so we set up these fake profiles for some of the performers. Mind you, we did not shoot any of the content on the site. We bought the content from third-party sites in Brazil. So, everyone, anyone could use, this is like white-label porn. Anyone can like buy these image sets and put them up. So, we would just give the models fake email addresses. All the email addresses, they are resolved to one general email address. So, but people would write these dedicated letters, these emails to these models, under their fake email addresses that we read. No problem, harmless, whatever. Every now and then you look at it, it breaks your heart, some 85-year-old like putting her in the will or whatever. No problem. Here's where the problem was.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  Say the site was supposed to update at 11:00 PM on Friday.

• 29:32Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  God forbid the site doesn't update at 11:00 PM.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  At 11:01, you're getting death threats. People like, "You stupid fucking bitch, you're trying to take my money, I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna cut your fucking head off." And I'm just like, "Hey!" I'm like, "Hey, it's me answering the emails." And like people are like, "You're gonna rob my money." And I'm like, "It's one minute late." It is one minute late with the update.

• 29:56Pablo Torre?

  What I'm realizing is that Jesus was the CB Buckner of pornography.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  People will look at the updates, they're like,

• 30:02Pablo Torre?

  Close is not good enough, sir.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Challenge, that was 11:01.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  And then you get people that are like, is, or they're asking like, dramatic, they're like, by 11:00, 11:00 PM, did you mean Eastern Standard Time or PS time standard time? Cause I haven't seen the update yet. And they're like, alright, calm down horny.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  I don't judge people for watching porn at all. I'm no prude. I absolutely judge people for paying for porn.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  Cool.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  It's too free. It's free. It's free. And I've never paid to watch any porn in my life, but I can't imagine the quality is that much different than what you can get on the alleged porn tube. It's free. It's free.

• 30:38Pablo Torre?

  Hold on, hold on, hold on. We're tapping.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Recognizing the challenge.

• 30:42Pablo Torre?

  I just like how the representative, the face of Netflix sports is saying, subscription fees for me, but not for thee.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Yes. Absolutely. Well, yes, because I can't watch some of these banger ass shows for free. But you can absolutely watch literal bangers for free. I'm just saying like, why would you risk your relationship? Why, like, I have a friend, God, I hope she's not listening to this at all, because she, I swear, she swore me to secrecy. I won't say her name. But she found out that her husband's spending $800 a month on OnlyFans models. And I'm like, I'm like, like, I would have, it would not bother me at all if I opened up my spouse's browser and I saw a bunch of porn. But if he paid for it, I'm judging him. It's free. Why are you spending money on this? This is insane.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Sometimes you have to pay more for top shelf stuff. I appreciate supporting individual creators. Also shout out to that creator. You're making $800 worth of content?

• 31:32Speaker 04

  These are on different ones.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  Oh, different, oh.

• 31:33Speaker 04

  He's various OnlyFans models.

• 31:35Pablo Torre?

  Diversified portfolio.

• 31:36Speaker 04

  100%. Yeah. He wants to diversify his stock. That's what he's calling it anyway.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Not mad at that, you know?

• 31:42Pablo Torre?

  That should be a job.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  It's a seed investment.

• 31:44Pablo Torre?

  Oh, there it is.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  There it is.

• 32:00Pablo Torre?

  I want to get to one more topic here. And this topic is very serious.

• 32:04Speaker 04

  Where do we go from here?

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Let me get to one more thing.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  What's the next topic?

• 32:09Pablo Torre?

  I think this is really important to discuss journalistically. We're going to that squirrel in London that was vaping.

• 32:15Speaker 04

  He's getting after it.

• 32:16Pablo Torre?

  He's getting after it.

• 32:17Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  But it makes sense, because you would feel like the squirrels in England are a little more sophisticated than American squirrels?

• 32:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  I have never heard a squirrel talk, but I'm pretty sure that squirrel has a thick British accent.

• 32:30Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Views on Tories, you know, that kind of thing.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  All this time, we just thought squirrels were out here trying to get a nut. And now they're out here trying to get a little vape on, too.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  A little vape on.

• 32:39Pablo Torre?

  We did find a vape flavor called Windsent 2.0 Vapor Shield Acorn, which we brought up in an interview that we did with the world's preeminent expert on squirrels.

• 32:51Speaker 09

  Hi, I'm John Kaprowski. I'm dean and a professor at the University of Wyoming and its Hobbs School of Environment and Natural Resources. I love the lengthy name that you shared for the acorn flavored. I don't vape, but I might try that one. Squirrels are a little high-strung, so they are fun to hang out with in some situations. Hard to mellow with, so I think you've got that challenge. But for me, 321 species of squirrel around the world, you know, there's a lot of good hanging out time, even though they are a bit high-strung.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  I...

• 33:34Speaker 09

  I have a couple of questions.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  I have so many questions about him.

• 33:37Pablo Torre?

  We're all learning about jobs we didn't know existed before on the show today. What he was telling us was, this is mostly about smell.

• 33:43Speaker 09

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:44Pablo Torre?

  Squirrels, apparently, you know, they eat, quote, "some really nasty kinds of things." And, yeah, apparently in nicotine, there are chemicals that can detoxify inside a squirrel's stomach. And so the danger is more in the vape itself and not the vaping. And this is, of course, because of the plastics and all that stuff. But it reminded me, Dzis, of a previous New York City creature. You remember this guy?

• 34:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Listen, he's all of us. You know, you get home, you're just like, "It's a beautiful city, but it's rough to live in."

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Look at that cockroach, he's like, Aaron Judge. Ah, this guy.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  He only hit 500 last year.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Come on, how many times we gotta see this guy?

• 34:28Speaker 04

  Oh my goodness.

• 34:30Pablo Torre?

  And then, of course, classic, I mean, Pizza Rat.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:43Pablo Torre?

  I like how big the objects are compared to how small the bodies of the animals are. But there apparently, there are further similarities between the vaping squirrel and the smoking roach and Pizza Rat, according to the dean of squirrels.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Dean of squirrels.

• 34:57Speaker 09

  All three of those make sense when you think about what cockroaches, what rats and what squirrels eat. They all think they've found something new and are ahead of the game. So they think they're the smartest animal in the room, I'm guessing, you know, when they get there. And so, you know, I just love the fact that that's what animals do. They, you know, these all kind of exemplify, hey, you know, yeah, we're tough too. We'll make, you know, we'll make it here in the city.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Meanwhile, the Pizza Rat is like, whoa, whoa, I've been eating Finney's pizza for three years. Talking about it's new. Come on.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  This is new.

• 35:34Pablo Torre?

  TikTok has made it so that everybody thinks they can be Pizza Rat, but Pizza Rat's been ahead of the curve.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  Also, that Pizza Rat video is kind of sad because it's just like, it's like every New Yorker, he's just trying to go, had a rough day.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  And just going home with your food.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Like, he's just going home to his Pizza Rat family with a slice.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  You know, he's like, oh, you know, Little Caesar's, I technically, I can't get the hot ready because I'm a rat, but you know, here you go, kids.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  I got you something. Is it the contrarian in me that when I see these stories, the first thing I think is, big tobacco added again?

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I do. Whenever I see like a story about the impact that vape is having, I'm not saying it doesn't have an impact. I get it. I know. But whenever I see these stories, I'm like, I feel like this is like big tobacco being like, hey, man, in order to preserve. The squirrels, we really need to start smoking cigarettes again, guys. Because they don't smoke cigarettes, they just like the fruity flavors of vapes.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  I think I was the unwitting pawn of big tobacco a couple of months ago. Because remember, we had the Tompkins Square Park and everyone met with the old man to smoke. I was there, I was the old man's right-hand guard. I have no idea how I got that job, you know, I have every job in the world. And we just all lit up and smoked cigarettes.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:41Pablo Torre?

  Oh, oh, oh, hold on. The flyer that got circulated around New York City that simply said, "Smoke a cigarette with me."

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:47Pablo Torre?

  And there's a photo of an old guy.

• 36:48Speaker 04

  No.

• 36:50Pablo Torre?

  You actually went to that?

• 36:51Speaker 03

  I not only went to that, I was his security when he's talking on the loudspeaker.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  What did he say?

• 36:58Speaker 03

  He was just like, thank, like, we didn't expect that many people to come out. It was like, he filled the park.

• 37:03Pablo Torre?

  It was a QR code, it said, "Free cig if you RSVP." 21+, of course.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Yes, and we were handing out cigarettes and lighters and everything, and everyone smoked. And also, I didn't realize is, if you're in a park full of people, everyone's smoking at the same time, you're about to get the biggest cloud of secondhand smoke.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:20Speaker 03

  Ever. I felt my lungs on fire, I almost passed out. But it was great. And then at the end, we all started swinging Empire State of Mind. And it was really one of those things where, God forbid, you're visiting New York with your little kids, they see that, they're like, "I know where I'm moving to when I get older. I'm moving to New York to secondhand smoke with this old man." Yeah.

• 37:37Pablo Torre?

  What's this old man's name?

• 37:39Speaker 03

  Shout to Bob.

• 37:39Pablo Torre?

  Bob?

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Shout to Bob, smoking.

• 37:41Speaker 04

  Smoke a cigarette with me, all lowercase.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  And look at the time, 2 o'clock to 2:05. And we did it.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  And you, you accomplished everything you needed to accomplish in five minutes.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  And then it just went to 3, and it was just unbridled chaos. We're doing it again next year, so, you know, flying for it.

• 37:57Pablo Torre?

  Who, what's his, what's his deal? Who is this guy?

• 37:59Speaker 03

  He's just like the coolest old man. He used to, I think he was like, used to be an art dealer. And talking to him, he's such a quintessential New Yorker. He lived in New York, he lived in LA, but he came back to New York, his kid goes to school out here. Just like, very old school, was around for like Ed Koch and all the original New York stuff. And he still smokes. And people were just like, "You're too old to smoke," but he's like, "Look how old I am, I've been smoking."

• 38:23Pablo Torre?

  How did I end up giving D's a platform to do sponsored tobacco industry content?

• 38:28Speaker 03

  My father was Philip Morris, so, you know. I know Joe Camel. We went to school together.

• 38:34Pablo Torre?

  So admittedly, this is a terrifying thing. I did not know what Jesus was doing in his free time. But also, when we asked the dean of squirrels, what is he most concerned about when it comes to urban wildlife and what these animals may or may not be consuming?

• 38:52Speaker 09

  Squirrels look for things that kind of look like, you know, a mushroom, or explore new smells, which are the potential for new food items. You know, is this the most recent strange mushroom that's popped up from the ground? Need to check it out. Haven't smelled this before. And then, you know, with the potential of that pastrami on it.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  There was a lot of terrifying things said by that man. Like, do we have to protect Katz Deli? Like, are the rats going for the pastrami there? Or is that... Also, can I just say, Dean of Squirrels is maybe the coolest name.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  You think he introduces himself like that, like he's a doctor?

• 39:29Speaker 03

  He has to.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Oh, Philip Morris, Dean of Squirrels.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Oh, here comes the dean. Here comes the dean.

• 39:33Pablo Torre?

  What I found out today is that maybe replace Burt Kreischer with the old guy who smokes cigarettes for five minutes.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, perfect. Yeah, the seventh inning stretch can just be him smoking a cig.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Seventh inning smoke?

• 39:44Speaker 04

  Yeah. I think that's a great idea, actually. I'm sure the baseball purists will really love it. I mean, they were smoking cigarettes like in the press box back in the day, so...

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Back when the game was good.

• 39:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  Little Reggie Jackson puffing on a Marlboro after a game.

• 39:56Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Broncs is burning behind him.

• 39:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  He's got like, he's got like a shit spear.

• 40:00Pablo Torre?

  That's right.

• 40:01Speaker 04

  Before all the bat flipping, before they was disrespecting the game. I don't know why I keep going into a Boston accent.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  No, you have to. If you're doing, if you're talking about old school bas-, old school baseball, you either do a Boston accent or old school New York accent.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  Fair.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  That's all, that, because there was only two teams before 1970.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  Sure, that's fair. I don't want my baseball without a pole right in front of me while I'm watching it.

• 40:18Pablo Torre?

  Elle, what did you find out on this episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out?

• 40:21Speaker 04

  I found out that... There is an actual behind the scenes job in porn that doesn't have anything to do with just loving watching porn. Well done, Desus.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  DNS, is that what you?

• 40:32Speaker 03

  DNS, Domain Name Services.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  Wow, very cool. There is a person behind those pervy emails, you guys.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, do it.

• 40:38Pablo Torre?

  Love of the game.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  It's also one of the most boring jobs ever because everything is super horny and sexualized, except for your job.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  So you're just on a Zoom and you're talking, you're like, yeah, so this new site that came out, you know, big booty breasts. They're like, yeah, so we're having a problem. It's not, the domain name is not resolving on the West Coast. So we need to like really look into the IP addresses and really do a tracer out here. I'm doing NS lookup and it's just not fully resolving on the pings.

• 41:05Pablo Torre?

  Uh, Desus, what did you find out?

• 41:07Speaker 03

  I found out that I have a new job I possibly want. I want to be the next Dean of Squirrels. Like, we can have a squirrel off, like, you know? Maybe that should be the thing. We have a, we're gonna fight to see who's the true Dean of Squirrels while the old man smokes next time in the park.

• 41:24Pablo Torre?

  I mean, that is definitely someone's subscription-only, premium-price-structured porn.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  That's fair.

• 41:30Pablo Torre?

  That is someone's very specific kink.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  Someone will pay money. I think there should be an OnlyFans to watch squirrels vape.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  Someone will watch it.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Someone will watch it.

• 41:38Speaker 04

  100%.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Sexy squirrels.

• 41:39Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm. So what defines a sexy squirrel from a regular one?

• 41:43Pablo Torre?

  There's a nut joke here. I'm just too tired to find it.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  You know what? You know what? You are a respected journalist and people hold this show in high esteem. So we're not gonna do that joke. We'll do it once the mic's off.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Never.

• 41:53Pablo Torre?

  Al Duncan, Desus Nice. Thank you both for doing what is a show that I don't think anyone has ever done before.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  It's always amazing, Pablo.

• 42:00Speaker 04

  It's incredible.

• 42:09Pablo Torre?

  Pablo Torre Finds Out is produced by Walter Avaroma, Maxwell Carney, Ryan Cortez, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rob McCray, Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor, and Chris Tubinello. Our studio engineering is by RG Systems. Our sound design by Andrew Bersick. Digital strategy by Bailey Carlin and Andrew Northern. And our theme song, as always, by John Bravo. We'll talk to you next time.