Pod Insights Pablo Torre Finds Out Share & Christmas & Tell with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne (and Jordon Hudson) About this episode In our year-end holiday spectacular, we get a visit from The Ghost of Podcast Future — and get increasingly loose: Has this show been ripped from the headlines? When did women start to stinkin'? Is Pablo the 50 Cent of journalism? And the tree is gone, but does the fire remain? Plus: legumes, gifts, 0.5x bonus points, Mad Dog's dildo policy, slingin' grease with Cletus... and hearing a smile.
• Call our hotline: (513) 85-PABLO
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• Previously on PTFO: Debunking the Myths of Bill Belichick's Consigliere https://pod.link/1685093486/episode/NjhmYWMyMDA3YjA4OTYxMzE5ZTNiYzFi
• Previously on PTFO: We All Have a Number https://pod.link/1685093486/episode/NjkwOTYyNzQ0NzE1MjVkMzUyZDVmMzYx
• Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan" https://pod.link/1788997372
• Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne https://www.audible.com/pd/Sorry-for-Your-Loss-Audiobook/B0CGJSXSPF
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Transcript 9,216 words · 22 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Pablo Torre? Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today, we're gonna find out what this sound is.
0:07 Speaker 01 Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree.
0:27 Pablo Torre? Right after this ad.
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0:59 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up! Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
1:32 Pablo Torre? This episode is brought to you by apollo.io. A lot of the stories on this show start the same way. Something that looks pretty simple turns out to be a mess once you look under the hood. Well, it's no different in the sales world. Your team has a tool for finding prospects, a different tool for reaching out to them, and a third for keeping track of it all. On paper, that's a system. In practice, it's a salesperson spending the better part of the day copying names from one tab into another and not much of it actually selling. Apollo.io is a platform that helps sales teams find the right buyers and reach out to them. It brings prospecting, outreach, and follow-up into one place instead of several separate tools.
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2:50 Speaker 04 Yay!
2:51 Speaker 05 Out of my mouth! Hi, Pop Lito!
2:53 Pablo Torre? Out of her mouth and under the table.
2:55 Speaker 05 What are we doing? Which of these do you want me to put on? I'm down for all of them.
2:58 Pablo Torre? You choose the one that most speaks to you. Maybe I'll put this up, because I don't want to obscure the... That's like a thing to put around your neck if you so desire.
3:06 Speaker 05 Whoa.
3:07 Pablo Torre? This? Yeah, man. This gay garland? Hey.
3:11 Speaker 05 Hey.
3:12 Pablo Torre? Y'all don't... I know you guys don't know Christmas carols like I do.
3:14 Speaker 05 You guys, the studio looks fantastic.
3:16 Pablo Torre? Thank you. I mean, you guys spared no expense.
3:19 Speaker 05 None.
3:20 Pablo Torre? We don't have a proper tree, but everything else...
3:24 Speaker 05 That's okay.
3:25 Pablo Torre? We're in good shape.
3:26 Speaker 05 We poppin' that, or what?
3:27 Pablo Torre? We got this. You poppin' that?
3:29 Speaker 05 We poppin' that?
3:30 Pablo Torre? We have champagne. Do you know to open champagne? Know how to?
3:33 Speaker 05 I mean, in a room full of this much expensive equipment, I could try.
3:36 Pablo Torre? In front of so many blinking lights and devices that could electrocute us immediately? You're a former bartender.
3:42 Speaker 05 Yikes. Yeah, and every time I had to do this, I'm... We're not even near the step where that's going to...
3:47 Pablo Torre? Okay, yeah, but just for kicks.
3:49 Speaker 05 Everybody relax.
3:50 Pablo Torre? Yep, okay.
3:51 Speaker 05 Everybody relax. Why is this... Why am I being tasked with this?
3:55 Pablo Torre? You've got this, because you have the...
3:56 Speaker 05 So let me talk you through our specials tonight, so we don't waste any time. We've got a lovely chicken marsala that comes over pasta you can choose between fettuccine, linguine, or...
4:07 Pablo Torre? She's removing the metal thing. Where do we work? Where's this spiel from?
4:10 Speaker 05 We have a farfalle. Oh, I don't know. I'm making this up.
4:13 Pablo Torre? Oh, okay. She's degloving the champagne. Oh, there, it's happening.
4:16 Speaker 05 Damn it. You got it. You got it. It's so close. You got it! You got it!
4:22 Speaker 04 Grip, strength.
4:24 Speaker 05 Oh god. You got it. Oh my god, this is the biggest cork I've ever had to pull out of a bottle. Give me one sec to take a breath. You got it.
4:33 Speaker 05 Yes!
4:33 Speaker 04 U.S.A.
4:35 Speaker 05 Ow.
4:36 Speaker 04 Great work.
4:36 Speaker 05 Hand is cramped. Christmas year and spectacular. And then you sniff it. I sniff it? Why? Cause I said.
4:43 Pablo Torre? This is how we're starting our Christmas year in spectacular, guys. Thank you for doing this. Here you go. Michael, Katie.
4:48 Speaker 04 Um, I...
4:50 Speaker 05 Are you abstaining? Are you pregnant?
4:52 Speaker 04 I don't like to drink. Give me a little bit. Not that much. I got a drop of it.
4:56 Speaker 05 Okay.
4:57 Speaker 04 You know why I don't like it? It's bad.
5:00 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's poison.
5:01 Speaker 04 That's plus, though. That's more than enough. I'll be... Also, there's maybe like the... My genetic makeup. I will be drunk from this much. It will change my personality.
5:10 Speaker 05 Are your cheeks gonna get red?
5:12 Speaker 04 I don't think I flush, but I do get... I will go from... Animated and...
5:16 Speaker 05 Do you flush?
5:17 Pablo Torre? I have.
5:19 Speaker 04 I will go from, uh, animated and intelligent to completely useless.
5:24 Speaker 05 Oh, good. I love it. You sure you don't want a little more?
5:27 Speaker 04 No, then I'll fall asleep.
5:29 Pablo Torre? Cheers. Thank you guys for doing this.
5:30 Speaker 05 Yeah, thanks.
5:31 Pablo Torre? Sincere, sincere thank you for all the...
5:34 Speaker 05 Free labor.
5:35 Pablo Torre? Free labor.
5:36 Speaker 04 Here's to us.
5:38 Pablo Torre? Here's to us. We have gifts on the table.
5:40 Speaker 05 Yay, for us.
5:41 Pablo Torre? You can't open them until the end.
5:42 Speaker 05 If these are something about Jordon Hudson and Bill Belichick, I'm gonna walk out. I just let it be known and stated.
5:48 Pablo Torre? I forgot the last...
5:49 Speaker 04 You forgot that was happening? You forgot the last thing?
5:51 Speaker 05 What's happening here?
5:53 Speaker 04 That... Jordon Hudson is underneath that.
5:55 Speaker 05 What is this?
5:55 Pablo Torre? So, the ghost of Christmas of podcast future.
6:00 Speaker 04 Okay.
6:01 Pablo Torre? Is a thing I want us to contemplate. That's right. A silent, I believe in the story, a silent entity. That... Does watch over us.
6:10 Speaker 05 It's gonna be Jordan. It's gonna be a fat head.
6:12 Pablo Torre? It's not not going to be.
6:14 Speaker 05 Yeah, dude. What's up, girlie?
6:16 Pablo Torre? It's not not going to be her.
6:16 Speaker 05 What's up, girlie? What's happening?
6:18 Speaker 04 Were you able to purchase this someplace, or did you have this custom made?
6:21 Pablo Torre? We had this made at FedEx.
6:23 Speaker 04 Wow.
6:25 Speaker 05 And now she's not wearing her cancelled necklace. Is that the B? Is that a B, like a Barbie B?
6:29 Pablo Torre? That's the band, the band.
6:30 Speaker 05 Oh, it says band. I thought it said canc- I forgot. I'm sorry, Pablo. I don't watch these things back.
6:33 Pablo Torre? You don't know the lore of ourselves?
6:35 Speaker 05 No, I'm usually pretty high when I'm here, and nothing sticks. Do you know what I'm saying? Now Pablo, this is where I'm gonna say, I hope you got a plan for this episode, cuz this is what we're bringing.
6:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's what we got.
6:48 Speaker 05 This is what we have.
6:49 Pablo Torre? Unfortunately.
6:50 Speaker 05 Nothing, huh?
6:51 Pablo Torre? That's pretty much it.
6:53 Speaker 04 Sweet. Another hour of this, baby.
7:13 Pablo Torre? Part of the reason I wanted to have both of you here is not just because I wanna say thank you as my friends for doing this and trusting us every time you show up here, not knowing what's underneath various surfaces and/or inside of boxes and/or behind you.
7:26 Speaker 05 And/or stuck to the table.
7:27 Pablo Torre? Have you guys seen Elsabeth?
7:30 Speaker 04 I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it yet.
7:32 Speaker 05 I haven't seen it either.
7:33 Pablo Torre? Well, you have come to the right podcast taping.
7:36 Speaker 05 Yes.
7:37 Speaker 04 Yes, all Elsabeth.
7:38 Speaker 05 Yes.
7:39 Pablo Torre? Can you explain what Elsabeth is, anyone?
7:42 Speaker 05 No, not me.
7:43 Pablo Torre? Who can do this?
7:43 Speaker 04 Okay, I think it is about a woman, um, she's like a DOJ lawyer or something? And through a consent decree has been assigned to work with these-
7:56 Speaker 05 Consent decree?
7:57 Speaker 04 NYPD? Is that? Is all of this wrong?
8:00 Pablo Torre? So what I know-
8:01 Speaker 04 Wyatt Sinak explained it to me, and I didn't understand it.
8:03 Speaker 05 Wyatt Sinak is a big Elsabeth fan?
8:05 Speaker 04 Wyatt Sinak is a huge Elsabeth fan, apparently.
8:07 Pablo Torre? This is the right reaction to learning.
8:08 Speaker 05 Is this a bit?
8:09 Pablo Torre? No, it's shocking to everybody.
8:10 Speaker 04 I was at a thing, I saw Wyatt Sinak, I started talking about, we were talking about this podcast. I told him about Elsabeth, and he was like, "Oh, I watch Elsabeth," and then he explained-
8:19 Speaker 05 You watch Els-
8:20 Speaker 04 And I was like, if I had to think of one person, if I, if in my mind, when I conjure-
8:23 Pablo Torre? In a draft of the last people on the planet, I would take Wyatt probably first.
8:28 Speaker 05 Second, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:29 Speaker 04 Anyway, he was saying that's a woman with a consent decree who's now assigned to work with the, with the cops.
8:34 Speaker 05 That's where you got the phrase consent decree.
8:36 Speaker 04 I didn't know, I didn't know what it means, but I know that it's involved.
8:38 Pablo Torre? A consultant detective for the NYPD. CBS primetime earlier this month, there's an episode. And the episode involves a young character whose name is Peyton Ramsey.
8:53 Speaker 04 Peyton Ramsey.
8:54 Pablo Torre? Peyton Ramsey.
8:55 Speaker 04 I should interrupt to tell you guys, I think I'm drunk. Okay, carry on. I've, I've barely more than smelled this champagne. I'm feeling a little drunk.
9:04 Pablo Torre? She's a precocious young character who may or may not be based on someone who may or may not be looming behind Katie Nolan at this moment. She is being described by some podcasters.
9:17 Speaker 05 What?
9:19 Pablo Torre? And, uh, her boyfriend happens to be an older college coach. That may seem similar to certain characters we have covered on this show, even though he is a college basketball coach at a place called St. Ivan's University.
9:33 Speaker 06 Clearly basketball is like the last thing on this man's mind right now. You're acting like we don't know exactly who to blame. Dude, I feel like if I mention her name, she'll put a hex on my ding dong.
9:43 Speaker 01 She's not Voldemort, man.
9:45 Speaker 06 She might be.
9:45 Speaker 01 We're talking about the biggest story in sports right now.
9:49 Speaker 06 Don't say her name.
9:49 Speaker 01 Peyton Ramsey. I said it.
9:52 Speaker 06 Well, now she's gonna hex your ding dong. Good thing you never use it. Hey, speaking of that, today's podcast is brought to you by Shape and Scale. Fellas, you know how bad it hurts when you're using clippers down there and you catch a bit of script?
10:05 Speaker 05 Oh, she was listening to the podcast.
10:07 Pablo Torre? She was listening to the podcast.
10:09 Speaker 04 So the three of us have been, in this rip from the headlines, mushed into two dudes.
10:15 Speaker 05 Into two dudes using weird tones to talk about it.
10:18 Pablo Torre? Well, I should say for the audio only audience so far, a couple of revelations.
10:22 Speaker 05 Right.
10:23 Pablo Torre? Peyton Ramsey slash Jordan Hudson.
10:26 Pablo Torre? Is Asian. She's played by Vietnamese actress. Lana Condor, what a name.
10:32 Speaker 04 What a [bleep] name. Lana Condor?
10:34 Speaker 05 Yeah.
10:35 Speaker 04 Which sounds absolutely like a supervillain. That's a supervillain's, um, not even an alias.
10:40 Speaker 05 If I may, and this is editorializing, immediately more stylish than her inspiration.
10:48 Speaker 04 Okay.
10:49 Speaker 05 You know, cooler. She walked in the room, I was like, oh, so cool lady. Now, we don't know anything about her character, but I just, you know, when Jordan walked into her room, I don't think I went like, whoa.
10:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:58 Speaker 05 I went like, well, she's got, you know? So anyway, back to this.
11:03 Speaker 07 Have you listened yet?
11:05 Speaker 08 Hey, beautiful. Listen to what? Hmm.
11:10 Speaker 07 We can't let these guys keep talking about us like this.
11:12 Speaker 08 You know my media policy. Paige, just tune it out. Focus on the fundamentals.
11:17 Speaker 07 These guys have millions of followers, okay? And by the way, they're still quoting inside sources, which means that your players are still DMing them.
11:25 Speaker 08 Ah, I told you that I don't know what DMing means. Anyway, listen.
11:33 Speaker 08 Paige, come on. Deep breath, okay? I will reiterate our media policy at the next team practice.
11:39 Speaker 07 Thank you. Also, I had some thoughts about some of the guys' socials, but I don't want to overstep.
11:45 Speaker 08 No, no, no, no. I think it's a great idea. I'm sure that the guys would appreciate your advice.
11:49 Speaker 07 Thank you, babe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
11:52 Pablo Torre? She's got Palpatine hands.
11:54 Speaker 05 Yo. Yo. Less of that would be fine by me.
11:59 Speaker 04 Millions of followers, that's nice.
12:01 Speaker 05 It is nice.
12:02 Pablo Torre? We're gonna round up.
12:03 Speaker 04 To the nearest million.
12:05 Pablo Torre? We're just gonna round up.
12:05 Speaker 04 To any million.
12:07 Speaker 05 As the white here, is it, is it kind of [bleep] up they appropriated your Asian-ness for the victim?
12:14 Pablo Torre? I'm glad you specifically said that. I think they did this as a chess move.
12:19 Speaker 05 Right. Do we ever see the podcasters? I guess is my question. I bet they're like
12:23 Pablo Torre? I was gonna say.
12:24 Speaker 05 disembodied voices.
12:25 Pablo Torre? They, they sound white.
12:26 Speaker 04 Uh, wait, are we gonna see, are we gonna watch more of this?
12:28 Pablo Torre? We are gonna watch more of this because the face that Michael has pointed to here.
12:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:34 Pablo Torre? This is a character, Michael, that I need you to come clean on.
12:37 Speaker 04 Okay, I'm gonna tell you the God's honest truth. I auditioned, I'm pretty sure, I mean, I haven't heard this character talk yet.
12:42 Speaker 05 Crazy.
12:43 Speaker 04 But I'm pretty sure I auditioned to play this character.
12:45 Speaker 05 Crazy. Now, can I ask, as somebody who's never read for a part, what you mean by you think you were gonna be?
12:51 Pablo Torre? Right.
12:52 Speaker 04 I'm not positive, I haven't seen this guy talk yet, so, but if that's the AD.
12:55 Speaker 05 Oh, if he's the AD, okay, okay, okay.
12:56 Speaker 04 I auditioned to play this role, I'm pretty sure.
12:58 Pablo Torre? So, we need to establish some things for people who did not watch all of the episodes we've done this year.
13:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
13:03 Speaker 05 And what the hell's your problem, first of all?
13:05 Speaker 04 Who would that be?
13:06 Speaker 05 What in the F is going on with you?
13:09 Speaker 04 Who am I, excuse me, who among us has not watched every episode? And listen, I'll do a watch, and then I go back and I listen to see if there's anything that plays better auditorily.
13:18 Pablo Torre? On point five, on point five X.
13:19 Speaker 04 On point, listen, on point five X, that's right.
13:22 Pablo Torre? You get bonus points, you get retention bonus points if it's slower. Michael is an actor.
13:28 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, kind of.
13:29 Speaker 05 I know that part, I know that part. No, and don't do that, cuz he's actually a very good actor.
13:32 Pablo Torre? He's appeared.
13:33 Speaker 05 He's an incredible actor.
13:34 Pablo Torre? He's a real.
13:35 Speaker 05 Half of his face was in Severance.
13:37 Pablo Torre? Yup, who can forget that?
13:38 Speaker 04 Hang on, my whole face, but only for half a second.
13:41 Speaker 05 And then the rest of it was just your voice, but blocked by the main character's head, which I said could be that you're the main character.
13:46 Speaker 04 I might be the star of Severance for all we know.
13:48 Pablo Torre? Yes.
13:49 Speaker 04 I mean, who knows?
13:50 Speaker 05 We don't know, twists are coming, so probably.
13:51 Pablo Torre? He was in a cable news hit on Severance.
13:55 Speaker 05 Yes.
13:55 Pablo Torre? Arguing about the Severance procedure.
13:58 Speaker 04 That's right, yeah, tell him.
14:00 Speaker 05 He also had a line that got cut from Succession.
14:05 Speaker 04 That's right, and I believe that line was, and I don't know if we have time for the whole line, but I believe it was, "Hey, Captain," and that was cut.
14:11 Speaker 05 Great.
14:12 Speaker 04 So that's, that's, and you've kinda got my whole acting career kind of encapsulated in that.
14:16 Pablo Torre? You got a script for this audition, but you haven't seen the thing that they wound up making.
14:20 Speaker 04 I haven't seen the thing, but I mean, when I got it, I was immediately like, oh my god.
14:22 Speaker 05 Well, if he watched everything that didn't, that was a part he didn't get, he'd be busy all day, you know what I'm saying?
14:26 Speaker 04 What the fuck, dude, what the fuck? Why am I high-fiving you?
14:31 Speaker 05 I don't know, I don't know, but thanks.
14:33 Speaker 04 I got the script and immediately I was like, oh, this is like vaguely about me. Very vaguely.
14:38 Pablo Torre? I was gonna say, so...
14:39 Speaker 05 Is this play about us?
14:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, totally. So I haven't seen that show, but.
14:45 Speaker 05 You haven't?
14:46 Speaker 04 No.
14:46 Speaker 05 Did you audition?
14:47 Speaker 04 No.
14:48 Speaker 05 Oh, damn.
14:48 Speaker 04 Yeah, it was supposed to be the, is it, am I saying it right? Zendaya?
14:51 Speaker 05 Perfect.
14:51 Speaker 04 That was my part.
14:53 Pablo Torre? I would like you to turn to your cellular telephone.
14:56 Speaker 05 Who? Just him?
14:57 Pablo Torre? Just Michael.
14:58 Speaker 05 Okay.
14:59 Pablo Torre? Because we have texted you an opportunity.
15:03 Speaker 04 Okay, these, I believe, now are these lines actually in the show?
15:06 Pablo Torre? Well, I need you to deliver them for our audience and for us, please.
15:11 Speaker 04 Okay.
15:11 Pablo Torre? And then we can see what it's about.
15:13 Speaker 04 How did you get, how did you get this?
15:16 Speaker 05 Well, don't worry about that. We don't ask that question.
15:18 Pablo Torre? What I do professionally.
15:19 Speaker 05 Right, he finds out.
15:20 Speaker 04 I just wanted to be clear that I did not send you this script.
15:22 Pablo Torre? Correct.
15:23 Speaker 04 So you got it through your own thing.
15:24 Pablo Torre? You clearly just got texted.
15:25 Speaker 05 That's smart. That is smart. You could have put him in a pretty bad spot.
15:28 Speaker 04 I didn't send it to you.
15:28 Speaker 05 Look at us, dude.
15:29 Speaker 04 Somebody did.
15:30 Speaker 05 Excuse me.
15:31 Speaker 04 You want me to read these lines?
15:32 Pablo Torre? Yeah, you're, you're auditioning for the role of, uh, of Dave, who is the general manager.
15:39 Speaker 05 Oh, GM.
15:40 Pablo Torre? St. Ivan's University.
15:42 Speaker 04 Okay, here we go.
15:46 Speaker 04 You have turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser. Posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials? You have single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do is lose his number, but I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the only thing I can do. Banning you from the premises.
16:10 Speaker 05 It is about us.
16:11 Pablo Torre? Just like the necklace.
16:12 Speaker 05 The play is about us.
16:12 Pablo Torre? Just like the necklace.
16:14 Speaker 05 Throw more stuff.
16:15 Pablo Torre? You crushed that.
16:16 Speaker 05 That was good. I would have given you the part. I don't know what the [bleep].
16:19 Speaker 04 Let's see, I want another shake. It didn't feel great.
16:20 Pablo Torre? Here's what it looked like on CBS. You turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials. You've single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do would be to lose his number.
16:37 Speaker 09 I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the one thing I can do. I'm banning you from the premises.
16:44 Speaker 05 Now, he's doing a lot.
16:45 Speaker 04 He did it different. He did it different, and I love it. I love it.
16:49 Pablo Torre? That character, who is inspired by Mike Lombardi, another character we have reported on on this show.
16:53 Speaker 05 And thank you for doing that. Have I told you that in person yet?
16:57 Pablo Torre? You haven't.
16:57 Speaker 05 Thank you for that episode, because... There's a lot in that episode. Yeah.
17:03 Pablo Torre? He is, as that episode revealed, the person who communicated to others that Jordon Hudson was banned. And so when, uh, Michael Cruz Kane auditions for the role of Mike Lombardi.
17:14 Speaker 05 Yeah.
17:14 Speaker 04 That's what I'm channeling.
17:15 Pablo Torre? Participating in the episode in which we report such things in this ongoing saga, it is also worth pointing out maybe that that character, um, I'm just making sure that this is correct. Spoiler alert, dies.
17:29 Speaker 05 Oh! You die?
17:31 Speaker 04 I don't, I mean, I didn't, I didn't, I only, I think I only got one scene.
17:34 Pablo Torre? So the Belichick character kills the Lombardi character.
17:38 Speaker 05 Oh my god, that's so much better than what's happening in real life.
17:41 Pablo Torre? I know.
17:41 Speaker 05 That's like so, such a juicier...
17:43 Speaker 04 It makes for a better episode of Elsabeth.
17:45 Pablo Torre? The sequel to all of this, of course, is that in real life, uh, last month, Jordon Hudson, uh, said a couple of things to us.
17:52 Speaker 05 Just you mostly. It's really just you. It's kind of like the, the positive and negative of this is like, I'm in these clips, but I'm not really getting anything from it. Like, there's nobody's coming for me.
18:01 Speaker 04 We're mostly here to be like, "Oh, shit."
18:03 Speaker 05 Wowee!
18:04 Speaker 04 Holy shit!
18:06 Speaker 05 Whoa, you don't say!
18:07 Speaker 04 You specifically are responsible for some crazy shit now!
18:10 Speaker 05 Yeah.
18:12 Pablo Torre? We...
18:13 Speaker 05 Yes.
18:13 Pablo Torre? We, as a show, as a show, as a family, we were named to the Apple Podcasts Top 10 List.
18:19 Speaker 05 Oh, that was us.
18:19 Speaker 04 That was, uh, we were on, my bad, we were on for that.
18:21 Speaker 05 That was we. That was we.
18:23 Pablo Torre? Absolutely. And Jordon Hudson, on November 19th at 8:45 a.m., said, quote, "You're welcome," period.
18:30 Speaker 05 I mean.
18:31 Pablo Torre? And we thank her for it.
18:32 Speaker 05 And thank you, I guess.
18:33 Speaker 04 She's not 100% wrong.
18:34 Pablo Torre? She's a.
18:35 Speaker 05 Right, right, right.
18:35 Pablo Torre? She fractionally, absolutely helped.
18:38 Speaker 05 Yeah.
18:39 Pablo Torre? Jordon Hudson went on Instagram on November 23rd and posted a photo of her wearing the band necklace. And the caption is, just one of the great uses of Instagram ever.
18:50 Speaker 05 P.S. I'm suing you, hard hands.
18:51 Pablo Torre? Yeah. P.S. I'm suing you, at P.S. Tori, hard hands.
18:54 Speaker 05 Hard hands.
18:55 Pablo Torre? I checked with the University of North Carolina and they said that they are not involved with any of her
18:58 Speaker 05 Oh, this is real. Oh, you're doing real.
19:00 Pablo Torre? I just gotta say that.
19:01 Speaker 05 Did she sue you?
19:02 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah. No.
19:03 Speaker 05 No, she didn't sue you.
19:04 Pablo Torre? I haven't gotten a letter or anything.
19:06 Speaker 04 Maybe it's a new year thing. Maybe it's something for 20.
19:10 Speaker 05 I know I've been backed up trying to get presents and trying to pre-take for the. So she might be, it might be coming in Q1.
19:17 Speaker 04 I'm like, I mean to sue people, but then I'm like, I'm scrolling and scrolling.
19:20 Speaker 05 It's the scrolling.
19:21 Speaker 04 I'm way behind on lawsuits.
19:23 Speaker 05 But I will, I'm coming for you, just next year.
19:27 Speaker 04 Everyone I've threatened, it is happening.
19:28 Speaker 05 It's coming.
19:30 Speaker 04 And I say to that, hard hands.
19:31 Speaker 05 I'm gonna sue you.
19:32 Speaker 04 And a happy Christmas.
19:33 Speaker 05 I'm gonna sue you.
19:36 Speaker 04 I'm gonna sue you.
19:37 Speaker 05 I'm gonna sue you.
19:38 Pablo Torre? Uh, um.
19:40 Speaker 04 I'm out of water. You know what that means.
19:42 Speaker 05 He's drunk.
19:42 Speaker 04 Your boy's getting wrecked.
19:51 Pablo Torre? This message is brought to you by Apple Card. With Apple Card, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases like groceries or merch or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted. No matter your team, no matter where you shop, Apple Card is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank, USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.
20:24 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Edition terms apply for all offers.
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21:32 Pablo Torre? Well, we do have a thing that I want to promote because I do want people to know. I do want people to know.
21:40 Speaker 05 Wait, why is this happening? Because this was brought up before. They're like, "We're actually going to promote your podcast this time."
21:45 Pablo Torre? Now you're spoiling it.
21:47 Speaker 05 Sorry.
21:48 Pablo Torre? Rewind.
21:49 Speaker 05 Go back and do it again. I won't say anything.
21:50 Pablo Torre? Kate? Kate. That's what we call her. Kate. Katie Nolan is on SiriusXM. She is the person that you listen to before Stephen A. Smith.
22:00 Speaker 05 That's so true.
22:01 Pablo Torre? Which is a fact that I am so delighted by every time I think about it.
22:06 Speaker 05 And the lead in.
22:07 Pablo Torre? Mad Dog Sports Radio.
22:08 Speaker 05 Yeah.
22:09 Pablo Torre? The show is called Fan Service. You do, I think, what you are meant on this earth to do.
22:15 Speaker 05 Hell, yeah.
22:16 Pablo Torre? Which is field questions from almost-
22:20 Speaker 04 Always dudes?
22:21 Speaker 05 No, no, no. We have a lot of women that call. We have a lot of women that call.
22:24 Speaker 04 That's actually [BLEEP] up dude.
22:25 Speaker 05 That is [BLEEP] up dude. We have a lot of women. I also think it's mostly sports radio not doing a ton to outreach to women and make them feel comfortable calling.
22:35 Pablo Torre? Katie is changing the demographics around who calls it. Is what I dare say.
22:41 Speaker 05 Yeah. I could just open the phone lines and make it like a hotline.
22:45 Pablo Torre? It's really good.
22:46 Speaker 05 It's just, the goal is for it to be a hotline. People can call me and ask about any sport. There are some times where I go like, yo.
22:52 Pablo Torre? What's the number they can call?
22:53 Speaker 05 888-MADDOG6. From noon to 1 Eastern, Monday through Friday.
22:57 Speaker 04 I'm doing this.
22:57 Speaker 05 I just, there's, there's dates, sometimes.
23:00 Speaker 04 I don't know, you're gonna do this in 2026?
23:01 Speaker 05 Sometimes they'll call about like rugby and I'm like, well, let me Google this. I don't know. I don't, not an expert in everything.
23:07 Speaker 04 When they call about rugby, they're asking, they're trying to get a take from you on the rugby?
23:09 Speaker 05 Sometimes, sometimes people will ask for very specific takes and I'm like, I don't have a take on this. I'm very honest. If I don't know the answer, I don't know the answer. But like, you know, an hour is kind of difficult to do. I'm not here monologuing every day about sports. So I'll give you my takes if I have some, but then I just open up the phone lines and basically just talk to people.
23:27 Pablo Torre? It's a perfect vehicle for everything that you do.
23:29 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's fun. It's fun.
23:30 Pablo Torre? It really is.
23:31 Speaker 05 Thanks. Why is this happening? Is this your gift to me?
23:33 Pablo Torre? No.
23:34 Speaker 04 In lieu of payment.
23:35 Pablo Torre? The gift is on the table.
23:35 Speaker 05 I'll promote your show.
23:36 Pablo Torre? No, there's a gift on the table. That is your gift. This is not your gift. This is an excuse to segue to the fact that we also have a voicemail hotline.
23:43 Speaker 05 Ooh!
23:44 Pablo Torre? 513-85-PABLO. People call it. We haven't been.
23:47 Speaker 05 Minor live phone calls, but this is kind of the same thing. Keep going.
23:50 Speaker 04 It's the same. This is, this is better in some ways.
23:52 Speaker 05 I just want to be clear, minor live phone calls. Today someone said dildo on air and we didn't know what to do. We dumped it.
24:00 Pablo Torre? Is that the policy?
24:01 Speaker 04 You dumped it?
24:01 Speaker 05 As soon as he was like, or a rubber dildo. It was like, bloop, hung up and there was nothing. I just had to go, well, that'll sit there.
24:07 Speaker 04 Is there, there's no delay?
24:08 Speaker 05 There is, but it's serious. So you can curse.
24:11 Speaker 04 Well, it's comedy too.
24:12 Speaker 05 Yeah, but it's that it's, you know, Mad Dog runs the station, so he likes to keep it family friendly.
24:17 Pablo Torre? Mad Dog has a very anti dildo policy.
24:19 Speaker 05 He's very anti dildo.
24:20 Speaker 04 It's a dildo.
24:21 Speaker 05 Yours are voicemails, which are different.
24:22 Speaker 04 I can't keep it together, guys. I'm drunk.
24:24 Speaker 05 I know, me too.
24:25 Pablo Torre? We've received almost, oh no, exactly, 499 voicemails this year.
24:31 Speaker 05 Can we go through them?
24:32 Speaker 04 It'd be funny if you said almost 499.
24:34 Pablo Torre? Some of them, by the way. They're very kind and we appreciate them. For instance, uh, this one.
24:42 Speaker 11 Hey Pablo Torre, this is Tony P. The military member has called several times. I just wanted to call again to give you guys flowers. I continue to be both educated and inspired by the work that you and the team is doing there. Especially this last episode with the trans center. My child is trans and this one touched home a lot. So, thank you for doing this story. Anyways, appreciate what you guys do. Love all the things you guys do and fuck Nick Wright.
25:12 Speaker 05 Oh, my God. Okay.
25:13 Pablo Torre? So, that guy, that guy, that guy's
25:14 Speaker 05 Okay.
25:15 Pablo Torre? It's just a heartfelt message. Other voicemails are from people that you may have heard of if you pay attention to sports.
25:21 Speaker 05 If we're gonna get to Jordan giving up voicemail.
25:24 Speaker 12 Hey Pablo, this is Tim Donaghy. Was wondering if you had a couple of minutes to speak to me. My number's 9****6. Thank you.
25:36 Pablo Torre? It does appear to be the real Tim Donaghy, the disgraced NBA referee at the center of one of the largest scandals in sports history.
25:42 Speaker 05 Calling your voicemail?
25:43 Pablo Torre? I do owe him a call back.
25:45 Speaker 05 You should call him back.
25:46 Speaker 04 You bet you do.
25:48 Speaker 05 Okay, it's not a tip line, guys.
25:51 Pablo Torre? No, it is. It is a tip line, but also you can submit questions. And we get questions from regulars at this point. For instance, there's a guy, and I just want to make this clear. We did not invent this character. He's a real guy. His name is Cletus. He is from Navarre.
26:06 Speaker 05 Fox, oh.
26:07 Pablo Torre? What?
26:07 Speaker 05 I was gonna say the Fox football robot is named Cletus.
26:11 Speaker 04 I just realized that it's like Cletus.
26:13 Speaker 05 Cletus, yeah.
26:14 Speaker 04 Okay.
26:14 Speaker 05 You're welcome.
26:15 Speaker 04 Back to you.
26:16 Speaker 05 Pablo Torre found out.
26:17 Speaker 04 And we're back to Pablo with sports.
26:19 Pablo Torre? Cletus, the human and not the
26:22 Speaker 05 Giant robot.
26:22 Pablo Torre? Superimposed giant, uh, Fox robot.
26:25 Speaker 05 No, he's real, so chill out.
26:27 Pablo Torre? This one is from Navarre, Florida.
26:29 Speaker 13 Hey Pablo, uh, Cletus in Navarre, Florida. Uh, I've got a question. Maybe you can find out. Um, all these, uh, body spray commercials on the TV. I was just wondering, when did women start stinking? Uh, maybe you can find that out. It's a conspiracy.
26:47 Speaker 04 Uh, did I understand the question?
26:48 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:49 Pablo Torre? I think Cletus has a really good perspective we should consider.
26:52 Speaker 05 Okay.
26:53 Pablo Torre? He's saying, if you listen to it.
26:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, I did.
26:55 Speaker 05 Which we have did.
26:56 Pablo Torre? Cletus is, uh, play it again.
26:58 Speaker 13 Um, all these, uh, body spray commercials on the TV. I was just wondering, when did women start to stinking? Uh, maybe you can find that out. It's a conspiracy.
27:11 Speaker 05 Yeah, we heard it. When did women start to stinking? Maybe you can find that out.
27:15 Pablo Torre? I think he's saying, when did this problem emerge? Because he has not experienced
27:21 Speaker 05 Right.
27:21 Pablo Torre? the issue.
27:22 Speaker 04 Cletus asking kind of an enlightened question.
27:23 Pablo Torre? I think Cletus is super woke.
27:26 Speaker 05 Yeah, I think Cletus is like, ladies, you smell just fine to me. Go ahead and sit on my face without any insecurity.
27:31 Speaker 04 Well.
27:32 Pablo Torre? Why is society telling all of you ladies
27:34 Speaker 05 That we stink. Yeah, it's fair.
27:37 Speaker 04 But everybody's been stink. Just in case the question is just a, just the question. We've all been stinking forever.
27:42 Speaker 05 We've all been stinking forever.
27:43 Speaker 04 Am I shouting?
27:44 Speaker 05 No.
27:45 Speaker 04 Okay.
27:45 Speaker 05 No, why?
27:46 Speaker 04 Okay.
27:47 Speaker 05 No.
27:48 Speaker 04 I'm wasted.
27:49 Speaker 05 Yeah. That is. We have more?
27:53 Speaker 04 Yeah, we played. I'd like to hear more from Cletus.
27:55 Pablo Torre? Hold on.
27:55 Speaker 04 I'd like to get Cletus on the line, please.
27:57 Speaker 05 Call him up.
27:57 Pablo Torre? All right. Hold on, let's see if we can do that.
27:59 Speaker 05 Wait, what? That's all you have? I'd like a million dollars, please?
28:02 Pablo Torre? Area code 334, that's the one.
28:04 Speaker 05 He's calling Cletus. I didn't agree to this.
28:07 Speaker 04 He didn't have to really call. I was just talking.
28:09 Speaker 05 We're doing this for?
28:13 Speaker 04 What are we gonna do when we get him?
28:15 Speaker 05 Pablo's gonna take it.
28:17 Pablo Torre? If he doesn't answer, we're gonna leave a voicemail.
28:19 Speaker 14 At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, simply hang up or press pound for further options.
28:28 Pablo Torre? Hey, Cletus, it's Pablo, uh, from Pablo Torre Finds Out.
28:30 Speaker 04 Cletus!
28:31 Pablo Torre? Thank you so much for calling us so many times this year. You've called us
28:34 Speaker 05 So many.
28:35 Pablo Torre? eight times. You asked us about, uh, lots of things. Uh, you asked us about what happened to Tom Hanks in Castaway. Um, I don't have the answer for that.
28:42 Speaker 05 He got stuck on an island.
28:43 Pablo Torre? Okay.
28:43 Speaker 04 No, he got out.
28:44 Pablo Torre? Katie Nolan has an answer for when did women start to stinking?
28:47 Speaker 05 No, I don't. No, I don't. I don't know the answer. Um, but I just wanted to say I love your work as a robot in football.
28:55 Speaker 04 This is now a podcast for one guy.
28:57 Speaker 05 I know.
28:58 Speaker 04 This is a podcast for Cletus. This is the Cletus episode now.
29:01 Speaker 05 We love you, Cletus.
29:02 Speaker 04 We love you, Cletus.
29:03 Speaker 05 Happy holidays, happy new year.
29:04 Pablo Torre? Merry Christmas, Cletus.
29:06 Speaker 05 It's the year of the fire dragon, 2026.
29:08 Pablo Torre? What is it? What?
29:09 Speaker 05 That's what I heard.
29:10 Pablo Torre? And sent.
29:12 Speaker 05 Nice. Okay. Well, that sucked.
29:14 Pablo Torre? Maybe he'll call us back. We have another voicemail, I am told.
29:17 Speaker 05 Nice.
29:18 Speaker 04 Oh, my god.
29:19 Pablo Torre? 500th voicemail to our detective agency hotline, 513-85-PABLO.
29:23 Speaker 15 Hey Pablo, it's Andrew Streeter. I just wanted to send a little Christmas cheer your way with a new little ditty just for you. Hope you enjoy it. Happy holidays, pal.
29:36 Speaker 06 Pablo Torre just dropped a nuke. This is an explosive report from Pablo Torre.
29:41 Speaker 16 Pablo Torre, who is a sports Batman. Pablo Torre is the 50th cent of journalism. Pablo Torre is like a different type of animal.
29:50 Speaker 01 And I hope that boy Pablo Torre got some good security, because he getting too close to open a Pandora's box, bro.
29:55 Pablo Torre? I am Pablo Torre, and today we're gonna find out what this sound is.
29:59 Speaker 17 Share and tell. Kawhi's not planting trees. Bird watching and athlete branded weed. Riley Gaines is grifting hard. Belichick's hot like smelling salts and gooning. Are the things we're finding out with Pablo Torre.
30:37 Speaker 17 Find out with Pablo Torre.
30:47 Speaker 16 Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world.
30:50 Speaker 04 That was exhilarating.
30:51 Speaker 05 It was good. Was that Jeremy that did that song? Who did that song? Who made that song for you?
30:55 Pablo Torre? That is Andrew Streeter.
30:57 Speaker 05 Oh.
30:58 Pablo Torre? Who is, who is a prolific song maker. Uh, he's made songs for Dance Show. Bless you. I like that you directionally sneezed into my cup.
31:08 Speaker 05 I don't think that this episode has started, so I'm, I'm getting a little concerned.
31:11 Speaker 04 We're almost ready. We're warming up. Okay, starting the episode in three.
31:20 Pablo Torre? So, one thing that I do want to explain from the song that we played is that I have been called by Fred Tucher, the 50 Cent of journalism.
31:29 Speaker 01 I know that voice. That's Boston sports radio.
31:32 Pablo Torre? Hold on, I'm being told we have one more voicemail.
31:34 Speaker 01 Yeah!
31:35 Speaker 16 So Pablo Torre is the 50 Cent of journalism.
31:39 Speaker 01 Oh no.
31:40 Speaker 16 Pablo.
31:41 Speaker 01 New York City!
31:42 Speaker 16 Anything you need from me, baby.
31:43 Speaker 01 You gotta love it.
31:44 Pablo Torre? Oh!
31:45 Speaker 16 We're all here for you. We got your back. You reach out.
31:48 Pablo Torre? So, here's the thing.
31:50 Speaker 18 Are you smarter than an NFL QB? What do you know about the world of bird watching? Cologne and perfumes by celebrities? Or Bill Belichick's Airbnb? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt.
32:07 Speaker 01 Whoa!
32:08 Speaker 18 You can't hide the truth from me.
32:10 Speaker 01 Girl!
32:12 Speaker 18 You might as well tell me now.
32:14 Speaker 01 Woo!
32:14 Speaker 18 As Pablo Torre finds out.
32:16 Pablo Torre? Oh!
32:17 Speaker 18 No doubt. You can't hide the truth from me. Is Giannis missing free throws for free chicken?
32:23 Speaker 01 Wow.
32:23 Speaker 18 Is our next president an alien? And Russell Wilson?
32:25 Speaker 01 Okay.
32:26 Pablo Torre? Pause it! Cletus is calling!
32:28 Speaker 01 Whoa!
32:30 Pablo Torre? I'm so sorry, Andrew Streeter, hold on.
32:31 Speaker 01 There's too much happening at [BLEEP].
32:32 Pablo Torre? Hold on, hold on. This episode is so loose. Hey, Cletus, can you, can you hear me?
32:39 Speaker 19 Is this Pablo Torre?
32:40 Speaker 01 Yes!
32:42 Speaker 16 Cletus!
32:43 Pablo Torre? Cletus, you're here with me and Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kane. We're taping our year-end Christmas spectacular.
32:50 Speaker 19 Oh wow.
32:51 Speaker 01 Oh wow, he says.
32:52 Pablo Torre? Uh, what are you doing right now?
32:55 Speaker 19 I'm just driving around on the Panhandle of Florida, man, slinging grease.
32:59 Speaker 01 Hell yeah.
33:00 Pablo Torre? Slinging grease? Can you explain a little bit more what that, what that means? Because I'm from New York City and I've never slung a single grease intentionally.
33:08 Speaker 19 Well, I work for a company where we recycle used cooking oil from restaurants, hotels, whatever. I'm big into recycling and so, uh, I go around and I give away free containers to restaurants and we take all their oil instead of it going into a landfill. And, uh, we make it into diesel fuel that's even worse for the environment.
33:36 Speaker 19 Pablo, you have no idea, like, you missed my birthday today.
33:39 Speaker 05 What?
33:40 Pablo Torre? Cletus!
33:42 Speaker 19 Oh!
33:43 Pablo Torre? Cletus!
33:46 Speaker 19 One time, I sent you a message, Pablo, so my daughter is married to her high school sweetheart, and he's Filipino.
33:54 Speaker 05 What?
33:55 Pablo Torre? Cletus!
33:56 Speaker 19 I really like you, and I tried to get you to, well, I was gonna try to get you to officiate their wedding after you did Dan Lebatard's.
34:05 Pablo Torre? Oh, yeah.
34:06 Speaker 19 My daughter shut that down.
34:08 Speaker 05 Oh, man! That's so funny.
34:10 Speaker 19 Yeah, I was like...
34:11 Speaker 05 She said, "Who?"
34:11 Speaker 19 We can have all kinds of, because we had a Filipino spread. Filipino food's my favorite food now.
34:19 Speaker 05 Hell, yeah, Cletus.
34:20 Pablo Torre? Cletus, hold on, hold on.
34:21 Speaker 19 I'm sorry.
34:23 Pablo Torre? No, no, no, no. You should, you should know, I am only interrupting you to know that Filipino food, like you professionally, loves to sling grease.
34:33 Speaker 19 Absolutely. I know.
34:35 Pablo Torre? Let's on!
34:37 Speaker 19 I mean, I'm a fanboy, dude, y'all called the worst person if you didn't want adulation. Because I am like, Katie Nolan, I wish I was there that night with y'all smoking bowls, man. Oh, my God!
34:50 Speaker 05 Hell, yeah, Cletus!
34:52 Speaker 19 I mean, I love New York, that's my town, because when I go up there, everybody hears my accent, and they wanna sell me bridges and stuff. Like, they wanna lead me down dark alleys and sell me fake Versace stuff.
35:07 Pablo Torre? Fake leather jackets.
35:08 Speaker 05 Out of the trunk of their car.
35:09 Pablo Torre? Out of the trunk of cars.
35:11 Speaker 19 I'm, I'm real big on Canal Street, I ain't gonna lie to you.
35:14 Speaker 05 Nice. Hell, yeah, Cletus?
35:16 Pablo Torre? Cletus, um, I will, I presume your daughter's already been married, but if you ever have another wedding for me to officiate, I will use the powers vested in me by the Universal Life Church to absolutely do that.
35:31 Speaker 19 Oh, my God, well, my other daughter, she's, she's engaged to a white boy, he's really white.
35:37 Pablo Torre? Oh.
35:37 Speaker 19 I know, he's so, his name is Sterling.
35:40 Speaker 05 Oh, my God!
35:41 Pablo Torre? Whoa!
35:43 Speaker 19 And he doesn't like, he doesn't... Like lagoons.
35:46 Speaker 05 He doesn't like lagoons.
35:48 Speaker 01 Lagoons.
35:50 Speaker 05 What's wrong with him?
35:51 Speaker 19 It's kind of a breaking point with me too, cause being southern, I was poor growing up and every day we came home to a pot of beans and some cheap meat.
36:00 Speaker 05 Yeah.
36:01 Speaker 19 So, that's like comfort food to me, you know, and I'm like, dude, if you ask for my daughter's hand in marriage, I'm gonna make you eat some beans.
36:09 Speaker 05 Legumes, okay, okay, that's where I made the mistake. I thought you said lagoons.
36:14 Speaker 19 Legumes, I.
36:15 Speaker 05 Legumes, I get it now. Beans.
36:17 Speaker 01 Beans.
36:18 Speaker 05 Beans, beans, beans. Yeah.
36:19 Speaker 19 Yep, Katie, so I'm a big feminist. I know that sounds weird, someone, a man that talks like I did being in the south, but I did raise two daughters that are very important to me and my family in any way. I've noticed on the TV in the last year that they don't talk about men stinking, but women all of a sudden stink. I don't know no women that stink, and so I really am offended. I'm offended by it, like, you know, it's just, it's like, why, I mean, cause I know a whole lot more dudes that smell.
36:54 Speaker 05 Same.
36:55 Pablo Torre? You know what, you know what I'm realizing, you know what I'm finding out here? Cletus does sling grease.
36:59 Speaker 05 Yeah.
37:00 Pablo Torre? But he himself is also pretty slick.
37:02 Speaker 05 Yeah, he's really good, Pablo.
37:04 Speaker 19 If any of y'all ever get to the Florida Panhandle, please keep my number. I live on, I live on the bar beach. Man, we'll have a good downtown.
37:13 Speaker 05 Hell, yeah.
37:13 Speaker 19 And I'm not a, I'm not a weirdo. I got a wife and thirty years and like, y'all don't have to stay with me, but if y'all ever get down there, let me cook you some lunch or take you out to some of these places.
37:25 Speaker 05 Yes.
37:25 Speaker 01 We're getting beans with Cletus.
37:26 Speaker 05 A hundred percent, Cletus, I'll eat beans with you all day.
37:29 Speaker 19 We got a Filipino restaurant down here.
37:31 Pablo Torre? What?
37:32 Speaker 19 Pablo, you gotta try.
37:33 Pablo Torre? All right.
37:34 Speaker 01 We're hitting it up.
37:35 Pablo Torre? At the risk, at the risk of booking a flight. Within the next hour, in 2026, Cletus, I have a feeling that you and I will talk again.
37:45 Speaker 19 I hope so. And I'll tell you, I can really hear you smile through when you talk.
37:49 Speaker 05 Aww.
37:50 Speaker 19 I can tell you're a happy person.
37:51 Speaker 05 Aww.
37:52 Speaker 19 You're always smiling when you're talking.
37:54 Speaker 05 Aww.
37:54 Speaker 19 That's why, that's why you're gonna win that Peabody Award one day.
37:58 Speaker 05 Yeah, someday, Pablo.
37:59 Pablo Torre? Cletus, you know what?
38:00 Speaker 05 We love you, Cletus.
38:01 Pablo Torre? Pretty much the highlight of the entire day is us talking to you, Cletus. Welcome to the larger Filipino family.
38:08 Speaker 19 Oh, I got Penoi pride, man.
38:10 Pablo Torre? Yes.
38:10 Speaker 05 Yeah, dude. Oh, my God.
38:12 Pablo Torre? Cletus, we, uh, we really appreciate you calling us back. This is, uh,
38:17 Speaker 05 A treat.
38:18 Pablo Torre? Almost, almost more than we could ever have dreamed for.
38:20 Speaker 04 Drive safely.
38:21 Pablo Torre? Yes.
38:22 Speaker 19 You made my day.
38:23 Speaker 05 Yay.
38:24 Speaker 19 I don't know how many days you'll make, but I'm about to cry. You made my day so much, man.
38:29 Pablo Torre? Cletus, you're gonna make us cry, man. Cletus, um, I cannot thank you enough. I want to inform you that I've officially now in the last minute deputized you as our Florida Panhandle correspondent.
38:44 Speaker 05 Nice.
38:44 Speaker 19 That's cool.
38:45 Pablo Torre? Which is, much like the jobs that Michael and Katie have.
38:47 Speaker 05 Unpaid.
38:48 Pablo Torre? Entirely unpaid.
38:49 Speaker 05 Unpaid work.
38:50 Pablo Torre? As they say in our culture, salamat.
38:54 Speaker 19 Um, marapaka.
38:56 Pablo Torre? Oh, shit.
38:58 Speaker 05 Bye, Cletus.
38:59 Speaker 04 Bye, Cletus.
39:00 Pablo Torre? Bye, Cletus. Happy birthday.
39:01 Speaker 05 Happy birthday. Now, Pablo, if I could give you a note, you're bad at getting off.
39:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're on too long with Cletus. I can't. I just [BLEEP]. The guys had to be in your ear like, get out of here.
39:10 Speaker 05 This would not be for you because you have to, we'd be the hour-long show.
39:15 Pablo Torre? He kept on giving me compliments.
39:16 Speaker 05 Cletus was perfect. You just need to know.
39:18 Speaker 04 It's totally on you.
39:20 Pablo Torre? You gotta get off. I think he actually had more to say about why I'm good.
39:26 Speaker 05 They said, we said goodbye, like, we gave you, like, six moments.
39:30 Speaker 04 You were gonna have, you were gonna pass the phone around. Should I, that door had been open, you would have passed it to everybody in there too.
39:35 Pablo Torre? I think I'm gonna call him back again, though.
39:36 Speaker 05 No, please, no, please, no. At least he has your personal phone number now.
39:50 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone. And I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
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41:29 Pablo Torre? There wasn't a tree on the table, which was embarrassing for us.
41:33 Speaker 05 Right.
41:34 Pablo Torre? What you should know, though, is that when we did our first Aspiration Clippers investigation, it ended with a scene in which we planted a tree. The story of this, if you did not watch that episode, you really should.
41:47 Speaker 05 I guess I didn't. I thought I did.
41:49 Pablo Torre? So the big crescendo of the episode was in reference to the fact that Robert Downey Jr. was an Aspiration endorser. That being, of course, the guy who played Iron Man in, you know, the Marvel movies. We decided to do the thing that Kawhi Leonard and the Clippers did not do, which was actually plant a tree. Kawhi Leonard, a fellow endorser of aspiration, who had a no-show job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NBA investigation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we planted a real tree in front of the Intuit Dome that is Iron Man, watering it. And the bad news is that someone ripped the tree out of the ground.
42:24 Speaker 04 My goodness.
42:25 Speaker 05 No, wait, what?
42:25 Speaker 04 My goodness gracious.
42:27 Speaker 05 Who does that? I thought you were gonna show us evidence of that.
42:29 Speaker 04 Whomst among us?
42:30 Speaker 05 Jordan?
42:31 Pablo Torre? The tree is gone.
42:32 Speaker 05 But the fire remains.
42:34 Speaker 04 The fire remains. That famous saying, "The tree is gone, but the fire remains."
42:38 Pablo Torre? Also, we, uh, we found a replacement.
42:44 Speaker 05 Oh, my God. Who are you paying to be Iron Man?
42:47 Pablo Torre? So, Iron Man is a confidential source.
42:49 Speaker 04 Robert Downey III.
42:50 Pablo Torre? Robert Downey III, outside the Intuit Dome, this week, planting in the empty grave of our old tree.
42:59 Speaker 05 Oh, wow.
43:00 Speaker 04 They tried to bury us, but they did not know that we were seized.
43:03 Speaker 05 Do they need to be watered like that?
43:06 Pablo Torre? We're not quite sure.
43:07 Speaker 05 Right.
43:07 Pablo Torre? But it's now, you know, it's LA.
43:08 Speaker 05 Aciduous.
43:09 Pablo Torre? It's LA.
43:10 Speaker 04 You would think Iron Man would have something in the suit that would do the watering.
43:13 Speaker 05 He's gonna put lights on it.
43:14 Pablo Torre? Yes, so, you know, for carbon footprint reasons, we're not gonna plug these in, but there are lights to begin to decorate them. I want everybody to know that we encourage you here to go and decorate the tree.
43:27 Speaker 05 At the Intuit Dome?
43:29 Pablo Torre? At the Intuit Dome, we're gonna provide the GPS coordinates. It is thirty-three, what is that punctuation mark?
43:35 Speaker 04 Degrees?
43:35 Speaker 05 Degrees.
43:36 Pablo Torre? Thirty-three degrees, fifty-six.
43:38 Speaker 05 Yeah, me neither. Why are you reading this?
43:38 Pablo Torre? Apostrophe, thirty-six point five, quotation mark, north.
43:42 Speaker 05 Perfect.
43:42 Pablo Torre? Hundred eighteen, uh, degree, twenty, apostrophe, thirty-eight point seven, quotation mark.
43:48 Pablo Torre? W for West.
43:49 Speaker 05 Perfect.
43:50 Pablo Torre? So we encourage you to go and do that.
43:51 Speaker 05 First podcast to ever read out loud the GPS coordinates.
43:56 Pablo Torre? Michael.
43:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:57 Pablo Torre? We'd like you to open your gift first.
43:59 Speaker 05 Great.
43:59 Speaker 04 Which one's mine?
43:59 Pablo Torre? It's the one on the top.
44:00 Speaker 05 The little one.
44:01 Speaker 04 Okay.
44:02 Speaker 05 With the same ribbon that I believe was used for when we unboxed the Jordan.
44:06 Speaker 04 The Tiffany.
44:07 Pablo Torre? That's just a total coincidence. Can you describe what you're opening?
44:10 Speaker 04 The mixed-race guy gets a much smaller gift.
44:12 Speaker 05 It's small. Oh my god, what the [bleep] is that?
44:14 Speaker 04 This is a hamburger.
44:16 Speaker 05 Oh my god.
44:17 Speaker 04 This is a hamburger.
44:18 Speaker 05 Oh, [bleep].
44:19 Speaker 04 That's been sitting in this.
44:20 Speaker 05 How long has that been in there?
44:21 Speaker 04 What time did I get here? How mu- how long?
44:24 Pablo Torre? We've been taping for probably a little too long for this to totally be, uh, paid off with you eating it, but...
44:29 Speaker 04 I can't believe how much it smells like a hamburger in here.
44:32 Speaker 05 Same. Can you-
44:33 Speaker 04 But it didn't smell like one in here.
44:34 Speaker 05 Can you rotate it so I can guess who made it before you eat it? Can you, can you pop it open, maybe?
44:39 Speaker 04 I'm not, I'm not doing that.
44:40 Speaker 05 It's not Shake Shack.
44:41 Speaker 04 You can do it if you want.
44:42 Pablo Torre? It's totally edible. It's, I mean, we just got it.
44:44 Speaker 05 We just got it, guys. That is a-
44:46 Speaker 04 It has, it has, uh, the density of the burger is, you would, it defies all logic. If you held this, you'd be like, it's crazy how heavy this is.
44:54 Speaker 05 Are you gonna eat it? Cause then you don't, okay, I don't have to slap it in my hand like that.
44:57 Speaker 04 But doesn't it feel like you're holding a, uh, an obelisk?
44:59 Pablo Torre? Let me see that.
45:00 Speaker 04 A space rock?
45:02 Speaker 05 Oh my god!
45:05 Speaker 04 You think it's a nude Shake Shack burger?
45:07 Pablo Torre? Yeah, now, now we've gone too far? This, this is the line?
45:11 Speaker 05 It's crazy that old gum freaked you out in a wrapped up, old-ass burger.
45:16 Speaker 04 That we handled around the table.
45:17 Speaker 05 There's an onion on your thigh!
45:20 Pablo Torre? It's just like, relatively new.
45:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:22 Speaker 05 From whence? No.
45:25 Pablo Torre? I'm just saying it's actually good. Katie, it's time for you to open your gift.
45:29 Speaker 04 Woo-hoo!
45:30 Speaker 05 Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Gimme, whoa, heavy.
45:34 Speaker 04 Gimme, gimme gift.
45:36 Speaker 05 Oh my god, is this gonna be an Omnicord? Cause that's what it feels like. That's exactly what it feels like! Is this actually just for you to have and I'm just gonna... What the [bleep]? Mine costs so much more than yours, which is crazy. Yours was a burger and Pablo's eating it. Mine is an Omnicord!
45:57 Pablo Torre? The optics of [bleep] eating Michael's gift are not great.
46:00 Speaker 05 Yes, it's not good!
46:01 Pablo Torre? There is onion now on the microphone.
46:02 Speaker 05 Ew. Wait.
46:04 Speaker 04 You have to burn that microphone.
46:05 Speaker 05 This has to be for you, Pablo. And I'm just holding it as for the show. And then when the show's over.
46:10 Pablo Torre? There's a strap.
46:10 Speaker 04 Wait, you bought her an Omnicord? It's like a thousand million dollars.
46:14 Speaker 05 That's crazy. Why would you do that? I mean, you do owe me.
46:17 Pablo Torre? I was gonna say.
46:18 Speaker 05 If I had an option, I think I would have taken the cash.
46:22 Speaker 05 This, I gotta learn how to do.
46:23 Speaker 04 You need to get the cash and retire. They're so expensive.
46:25 Pablo Torre? The bad news is, you can't take the cash. The good news is, there is a stunningly vibrant Omnicord secondary resale market.
46:34 Speaker 05 Hell, yeah.
46:34 Pablo Torre? But until then.
46:35 Speaker 05 This is so nice.
46:36 Pablo Torre? Until then.
46:37 Speaker 05 Who actually bought it? Who actually did it?
46:39 Pablo Torre? Unfortunately, it was...
46:41 Speaker 05 You?
46:42 Speaker 04 Keith Oberman. That's somebody.
46:44 Speaker 05 Jesus Christ.
46:46 Pablo Torre? We have reached the end of the show, and there's only one way to end our year. It's with me holding a burger and Katie Nolan holding her Omnicord.
46:54 Speaker 05 To fix you.
46:55 Pablo Torre? And Michael Cruz Kane also holding his Omnicord. Michael, where's your Omnicord?
47:01 Speaker 04 At Pablo's request, I brought my Omnicord.
47:06 Pablo Torre? Oh, good soundtrack for the unzipping of Michael's Omnicord.
47:09 Speaker 04 And then if you want to make your thing stop making sound, you got it.
47:13 Speaker 05 That's the button I always remember.
47:15 Speaker 04 And then, and then just in here, you know, when you're in the chord.
47:18 Speaker 05 Great. And then we're saying, "M is what?" What are we saying is? Stop. "E M with a star is what?" What's the star?
47:29 Speaker 04 I don't know what the star is, honestly.
47:31 Speaker 05 Be home.
47:32 Speaker 04 Maybe it's diminished, but we don't have that here, so.
47:34 Speaker 05 Home for Christmas.
47:40 Speaker 04 Oh, shit. You got it.
47:42 Speaker 05 You can count on.
47:51 Pablo Torre? Guys, our sound... Oh, this is...
47:53 Speaker 05 Please have snow.
47:57 Speaker 01 And mistletoe.
48:02 Speaker 05 And presents under the tree.
48:13 Speaker 01 Christmas Eve will find me.
48:20 Pablo Torre? You got it dude.
48:23 Speaker 01 Where the love like glues.
48:33 Speaker 01 I'll be home for Christmas.
48:41 Pablo Torre? Something bad's out.
48:42 Speaker 01 Oh, it's me. What is it wrong?
48:43 Pablo Torre? A7.
48:45 Speaker 01 If only in my dreams. What the fuck?
48:58 Pablo Torre? Fuck.
48:58 Speaker 01 Who's fucking Omni Court is this?
49:10 Pablo Torre? This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production.
49:16 Pablo Torre? And I'll talk to you next time.
49:33 Speaker 16 So Pablo Torre is the 50 Cent of journalism.
49:38 Speaker 16 Pablo, anything you need from me, baby. We're all here for you. We got your back. You can reach out.
49:46 Pablo Torre? So here's the thing.
49:48 Speaker 18 Are you smarter than an NFL QB? What do you know about the world of bird watching? Colons and perfumes by celebrities? Or Bill Belichick's Airbnb? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt. You can't hide the truth from me. Girl, you might as well tell me now.
50:13 Speaker 18 As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt, you can't hide the truth from me. Is Giannis missing free throws for free chicken? Is our next president an alien? And Russell Wilson? Why does the FBI director play so much hockey? Was Malik Beasley gambling before Milwaukee? Uh, wanna hear about the NFLPA? Or salaries in the WNBA? The Knicks failed LeBron recruitment tape? Did you know that TRL was fake? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt, you can't hide the truth from me. Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt,
50:57 Speaker 18 you can't hide the truth from me.
50:59 Speaker 16 Anything you need from me, baby. Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world.
51:06 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone. And I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
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Previous Exclusive: We Found the Knicks' Top-Secret Tapes for Kawhi, Kyrie and KD Next The Secret Album That the NBA's Best Executive Doesn't Want You to Hear (PTFO Vault) Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated