Pod Insights Order of Man Dealing with a Health Scare, Finding New Purpose, Offering Grace When it's Hard | ASK ME ANYTHING About this episode In this "Ask Me Anything" episode, Ryan and Kipp explore how men can break through life's transitional slumps and rebuild momentum. They answer viewer questions on keeping motivation alive after a health scare, finding purpose after military service, navigating the loss of a foster child, and handling sudden business success.
They also share practical advice on stepping up as an uncle and owning past mistakes to rebuild a damaged reputation.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Episode Introduction
01:46 - Wholesome Character of the Day: Sophie Cunningham & Standing Up for Women's Sports
11:42 - Maintaining Clarity & Purpose After a Major Health Scare
19:22 - Rebuilding Identity and Mission After Leaving the Military
29:56 - Reconnecting with Family: Who Should Make the First all?
33:43 - Leading a Family Through the Grief of Foster Care
41:25 - What to Chase Next When You've Already Won
47:54 - Stepping Up as a Powerful Role Model Without Being a Dad
51:27 - Rebuilding Your Reputation When Everyone Knows Your Past Mistakes
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Transcript 11,009 words · 3 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 That's where the most growth and excitement happens in any aspect of life. If I go to train jujitsu for the first time, I'm going to learn way more in that hour than you will as a, as a black belt and somebody who's been training for almost decades at this point. You might learn one little thing that like adjust your toe and move it this way or move that this way, or maybe somebody shows you how to like make that, that submission a little tighter. But I'm going to learn everything in the same amount of time. Wouldn't you like, don't, don't you want to chase that feeling?
0:32 Speaker 00 Kip, what's up, man? So good to see you on this Friday, getting ready to close out the week. And what better way to do it than field some questions from the, from the crew?
0:42 Speaker 01 Amen to that. Let's, um, I don't know. I don't know what to say. Let's go.
0:47 Speaker 00 Let's do it.
0:47 Speaker 01 You ready to go? All right.
0:49 Speaker 00 Um, no, we gotta do our wholesome segment first.
0:51 Speaker 01 Or you got some business. Oh, wholesome.
0:52 Speaker 00 Yeah, we gotta do that.
0:53 Speaker 01 I knew I was gonna say something.
0:55 Speaker 00 Um, I don't know if you've seen this thing. This is like, this is interesting. This is a new angle that I'm going to take this one with this one, but the wholesome, the wholesome character of the day is, uh, the one and only Sophie Cunningham. Have you seen her stuff lately? That woman is hilarious to me. And
1:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's the enforce, the court enforcer for, uh, for Caitlin Clark. Yeah.
1:19 Speaker 00 I love that. So that's a good part of the wholesomeness, like that part, that aspect of it. Um, and she's just a troll of the highest order and she just pulls it off so well. But that's not why I wanted to bring it up. The reason I wanted to bring it up is because she has become, uh, I was going to say unwilling. I would not say unwilling, but she didn't really realize that she was going to start to actually become a poster, poster child or, or the, the quintessential poster woman for, um, women's sports. I don't know if you've seen this at all, but she made a very, what I thought was benign comment about protecting women's sports. Like we don't want trans-
2:03 Speaker 00 We don't want men in women's sports. And I thought it was pretty benign. I think it's an 80 20 issue. I think most of Americans would say there's nothing wrong with that. And she's gotten so much backlash and reporters asking if she's going to become political. She's like, I'm not political. I just advocate for women's sports because I'm a professional women's athlete. Like, this is not a big deal. And then I guess there was some some young ladies who came to one of her games and were supporting her with an XXXY shirt and a and a poster that said, hey, thanks, Sophie, for standing up for women's sports. I just think we need more common sense people speaking out because if we don't, what ends up
2:48 Speaker 00 happening is the least or the people with the least amount of common sense, they don't mind speaking out. They don't mind villainizing everybody else. They don't mind pushing issues, 20% issues. So if we don't learn to speak up and speak out against things that are important to us. Now, that might not be an issue that's important to you. That's fine. But I think we can take a page out of her playbook, so to speak, and speak up. And there might be backlash and there might be problems, and especially in the WNBA. And that's not even, it's like watching a, it's kind of like watching a, like a freshman basketball game, like you're there because they're playing, but really you're just waiting for the varsity game to come on.
3:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:31 Speaker 00 But I don't know. It's, it's, it's interesting. And I hope that's indicative of a, of a cultural change that people with common sense ideas can have the courage just to stand up. And so props to Sophie, the co-owner of the other team, not, I don't even know what the teams are. The co-owner of the other team actually chastised these young ladies who were at the court side. And the co-owner ended up, as far as I understand, getting suspended for several games and, and fined because of how she treated their fans. So.
4:06 Speaker 01 Awesome.
4:07 Speaker 00 I love it. I thought it was a feel-good story. I'm a Sophie Cunningham fan, not a WNBA fan, but a Sophie Cunningham fan.
4:14 Speaker 01 The finger.
4:15 Speaker 00 You got the point. Yeah, you got the finger.
4:18 Speaker 01 I I love it and and I also love that she pushed back against it being a political thing. Cause these aren't political things like everyone needs to realize that so many of these issues they're not political. Politicians are making it political. So you feel like you have to align with them if you see something a certain way. But even push back against that way of thinking and say, no, this isn't political. This is how I feel about something. Don't, don't label me into a group so you could take advantage of my viewpoint either. Right? I actually don't like that either. So I love to push back on making a political situation.
4:56 Speaker 00 Non-political. It's a cultural issue, right? But as they say, I think the saying goes is that politics are downstream from culture. And and it's probably actually vice versa too. I think they kind of feed off each other. So if culture's moving one way. Politicians and their sleazy ways will will follow that way. If politicians are implementing based on what they're these, these ideas and introducing new legislation, then sometimes culture tends to follow. So. I think it's a multifaceted approach. It's not just political to your point, but it's also not just cultural to a lot of men's points like we're like, we just want to be left alone. Yeah, so do I. But at some point you got to realize they're not going to leave us alone.
5:37 Speaker 00 You may not care about what they're doing, but they sure as heck care about what you're doing, which makes it your business and our priority. To rail against it, fight back against it, talk about it, both culturally and politically.
5:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree. Did you see the reel, the highlight reel of the All-Star game, the women's WNBA All-Star?
5:59 Speaker 00 What? What in the world? I look.
6:04 Speaker 01 I I was having.
6:06 Speaker 00 I was gonna say, I don't, I don't want to mock. I don't want to mock these ladies. I.
6:10 Speaker 01 That's true.
6:11 Speaker 00 I don't, but because they're doing, they're doing the best they can. But God, is it horrible to watch? Like it is, it is just, it is painful, man. And I don't, I don't understand it. I mean, these are the best in the world. I don't understand it. So I see both sides where it's like, it's painful to watch. I'm not going to go buy a ticket to go watch the WNBA. And also like, let's let him, I was going to say something very politically insensitive, culturally insensitive. I'm actually going to show some restraint, but I really want to say it. So I'm not going to.
6:48 Speaker 01 Well, let me, let me tease this idea in the sense of it. It's easy to want to criticize them when they promote this idea that they are no different than the NBA. So it, it, they, they tee themselves up.
7:06 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:07 Speaker 01 For me, want to criticize it. But my point of, of watching the highlights was, is like, it was like high school PTSD. I was like, oh my gosh, those are ladders. I, you know, missed layup ladder, missed layup.
7:19 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah.
7:20 Speaker 01 In, if we missed a layup in practice, we were running.
7:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:26 Speaker 01 It was get on the line and I'm going to destroy you because missing one layup is completely unacceptable. And that was practice, let alone a game.
7:37 Speaker 00 I think you actually have a good point. Um, I'm not going to lump all of the players into the same category, but they're just. So take this with a grain of salt. Too many of them are just not likable people. Which they're just not likable people. And so they open themselves up to all sorts of scrutiny because nobody likes them. And it has, I think, less to do with their gameplay than the remarks of so many of those women off the court. And it just, it's just gross. They're just nasty.
8:08 Speaker 01 Dude. Well, and, and I, and you can see that across multiple sports, right?
8:13 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's not, it's not exclusive to, to, yeah, of course.
8:17 Speaker 01 It's their character that I loved. Well, you know, you know what I, you know, I don't know. Like even NBA players like LeBron James, like he's probably, I think he's an amazing player. I don't like him.
8:29 Speaker 00 No, he's a, he's a hard to like type person.
8:32 Speaker 01 Yeah. Cause of what he says. I'm like, I don't like him. If he was humble and kept most of his opinions to himself, I would think he was better than, than I do. It's just, you know, it's part of the game and they're in the entertainment business. So it actually does matter what their fans think about them, you know, so it benefits them.
8:49 Speaker 00 Well, I mean, you see it in acting too, like a guy I don't like is Robert De Niro. He's a great actor. I don't like him.
8:56 Speaker 01 Amazing.
8:57 Speaker 00 Tom Hanks, probably the greatest actor ever. I don't like that guy. The other one is the guy who plays Jack Reacher.
9:06 Speaker 00 That big guy, Alan, Alan Richson or Alan Richardson.
9:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that like destroyed his neighbor.
9:13 Speaker 00 That was actually, I, I looked into that. I'm like, that looked justified to me. All of that looked, cause I actually watched different angles and let the case develop. That I would say is in the wholesome category, but I think he's a good actor. I enjoy his movies, you know, they're cheap thrills, action thrill, but I enjoy it. I think, I think he's talented. And I don't like him as a person. And again, it has to do more probably with politics and political and cultural ideology, but. And I also don't think you need to shut up and dribble, as I think they told LeBron James. Like you can talk, but just don't expect that people are going to like you when you say dumb things. But you have a right to do it, I suppose.
9:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, totally.
9:52 Speaker 00 Like, I don't think we should, I don't think we should, I don't like this attitude of like, well, you're just a basketball player. What do you know about it? Well, you're just a plumber. What do you know about it? Well, you're just a lawyer. What do you know about this? So I don't ever get into the thing of like, well, you're a basketball player. So what do you know? It's like, maybe he does, maybe he actually studies it. We can entertain that. And I don't think we have to place people into these one dimensional lanes where it's like, you can only be a basketball player. Or you can only be an actor. No, you're a well-rounded person, just like you and me.
10:27 Speaker 00 I still don't like a lot of what you say, but sure, say it.
10:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, to each their own.
10:32 Speaker 00 Right.
10:33 Speaker 01 I love it. All right, man. Well, that was, you know, we riffed a little bit. That was good.
10:37 Speaker 00 Yeah.
10:38 Speaker 01 All right, man.
10:39 Speaker 00 Yeah, let's do it.
10:40 Speaker 01 Yeah. All right, Garrett Holloway. I had a heart scare three months ago at 41. It's nerve wracking. Turned about, turned out to be nothing, but for the about six hours, I genuinely thought I might not make it home to my kids. It rearranged something in me. How do you hold on to that clarity about what matters without intense, intensity fading back into autopilot after a few months?
11:10 Speaker 00 Yeah, well, that's a good question. I mean, first, I'm glad you're okay, but that's an interesting question. You know, when we have these catastrophic moments, it's very easy at that in those moments to change our behavior, right?
11:23 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think when anything bad happens, you're like, whoa, and it causes you to reevaluate what's important and how you're showing up and what you're doing. I imagine Garrett started to get in shape, and I imagine over the past six months, I think he said, maybe some of those habits kind of trickled back in with the eating and maybe, you know, he started working out less. So I could see how that would happen. I mean, what I would say is you have to have systems in place for to get you moving in the right direction, to get you doing what you've committed to doing when all the motivation has left the
12:03 Speaker 00 building. Because the motivation for a health scare is, I don't want to die. Well, now you're in the clear, so that motivation is no longer there. So now what are you left with? Discipline and systems. That's it. And if you're just hoping that the motivation, whether it's the stick, which is you're gonna have a heart attack, or the carrot, which is, I really want to go run a marathon or something, because it would be fun. Said no person ever, I don't think, marathon fun, that doesn't sound fun. But I'm using it as an example.
12:38 Speaker 01 To finish a marathon. To finish a marathon is the correct language.
12:43 Speaker 00 But no, you have to have systems. And like, so we have, we have our battle planning system, right? And one thing that we start with is our vision. What kind of man do I want to be in the next five, or 10, or 20 years? How do I want to show up? What are my principles? What is my standard operating procedure, my code of conduct? How am I showing up? How am I influencing others? How am I engaged with you and my children and my friends and everybody else? And then we reverse engineer it into what am I going to do on a daily basis? So this morning, when I woke up, I had an early morning call for the Iron Council. I woke up a little later than I would have liked, and I thought to myself, ah, I'm not really going to be able to do it today, because I'll only get about 30 to 40 minutes of my
13:24 Speaker 00 workout instead of my hour. So that was the justification that went through my mind. And then I also thought, well, I'll do it this afternoon, when I have some free time. But I know a couple of things about myself. One, I won't do it this afternoon. I'll come up with some other justification and it'll sound really good in my head. And number two, I believe, because I've already made this decision, that in the absence of being able to do it perfectly, good enough, sometimes is good enough. And so I went to the gym and I got a 40 minute workout in and I hurried and ran home. I haven't even changed from the gym. I smell, I'm still sweaty because it's just, it's just how it had to be. But I've already made that decision.
14:07 Speaker 00 And so I don't let myself off the hook when there's no motivation. It's written in here as if it's canon. Like it's written in here. Now that's not to say I followed 100% of the time, but it is written and therefore I will do it. That's my principle. That's my belief and that's what helps me when motivation fades.
14:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. And those actions that you take on that battle plan, guess what that eventually forms? Habits and identity. And, and now you, you've built confidence going into that direction. And then there's a, there's a paradigm shift. There's an entire framework around this in psychology. This is how you change your identity and your paradigm by which you see the world. It's actually through repetitive, consistent action. Cause you, you have to prove it to yourself. Are you a guy that goes to the gym every day? And eventually you'll believe it after you are that.
14:58 Speaker 00 Right.
14:59 Speaker 01 And, and now we have a shift of, yeah. And then you have a shift of mind, right? Of, of paradigm. Um, one, one additional thought for Garrett. I've always loved this around Stoicism. That the, the school of thought in that era of, of humanity, wasn't focused on like intellectual in the moment living. It, it was, or I shouldn't say like what we think of education today. The focus was what? How to live and die well. It was a priority to how to live a good life and die well.
15:38 Speaker 01 Now, in society today, we don't think about this anymore. In fact, we even have terms, "Oh, it's morbid to think about your mortality." No, it's not. You will die. We all will die, but yet, we don't prepare for it. We don't plan for it. We don't live like we're going to. We live in this false sense of of time, and then we have a closed, I don't know, a closed eye to the fact that our mortality might end any moment. And so, I would like to suggest that we flip the script a little bit and get present to our mortality. And this is the term "momentum mori" comes from
16:18 Speaker 01 with Stoicism, is being present to your mortality. And one thing that the Stoics practice that I've implemented into my life is what they call "negative visualization." And the example I always use is, you know, my standard morning, when I go off to work and I say goodbye to the kids, it's a "Have a great day," and I walk out the door. But if I get present to the idea that today might be my last day, that it actually might be my kid's last day, do you think I say goodbye differently to them? Absolutely. I don't let things go unsettled. I don't push off an apology that I should
17:03 Speaker 01 probably owe someone. And I'm present to being fully expressed about how I feel about someone. That's the value of it. I'm not saying, "Stop living your life because you're just gonna die." I'm not saying that. I'm saying, "Live your life because you are going to die." And so, show up powerfully in a way that there's minimal regret.
17:27 Speaker 00 I like it. I mean, that's how you keep that motivation at the forefront, is you just think about it. Like, think about what it felt like. Think about what you were going through. Think about the regrets when you were laying there of like, "I didn't do this, or this, or this." Even if it's, "I didn't kiss my wife goodbye," or "I didn't start that business." Okay, well... Now you've been given a second chance, even if it's not a second chance, which it sounds like maybe it wasn't, but even if you, whether it's a second chance or not, like, do it right this time.
17:58 Speaker 00 Just learn and do it right, and always remember that that was a gift that was granted to you, and it can be taken away just as easily.
18:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, totally. Cash Renfro, I did two combat deployments and I got out four years ago. I've got the job, the house, the family, but I still feel like I'm playing a character in a civilian life instead of actually living it. Does that ever fully go away, or do you just learn to carry it?
18:31 Speaker 00 What's that term in gaming, like NPC, non-player, non-playing? Character or something like, you know what I'm talking about?
18:41 Speaker 01 It's the, it's the computer, the computer simulated characters versus actual people?
18:47 Speaker 00 Right.
18:47 Speaker 01 I don't know.
18:48 Speaker 00 I think that's, you do.
18:49 Speaker 01 But I know what you're talking about, yeah.
18:50 Speaker 00 You do too.
18:53 Speaker 00 Regardless, I think it's something like that, both of it, you can tell how much video games we play. But it's something like that, like they have a script that they're supposed to follow, and they can't really operate outside of the script, there's no autonomy to it at all, and there's a lot of people in life who actually run their lives around like this. They're, they're just acting on everybody else's whim, they're being acted upon, they're reacting to what else is happening in their environment without being proactive about what they're doing, and so, when he said "character," that's what came to mind, is you're, you're doing what you should be doing. I have the house, right, because somebody told you you should have that. I have the job, right, you didn't say, "I have an amazing career."
19:37 Speaker 00 You didn't say, "I had my dream home." You said, "I have a jo-" what did he say? "I have a job, I have a, a, a house." What else did he say?
19:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, "I have the job, the house, the family."
19:48 Speaker 00 Right, but none of that sounds exciting to me. It just sounds like you've got a checklist somewhere, and, and that's probably what you're saying, like, you want to feel the enthusiasm and excitement. Well, good, start dreaming again. You talked a little bit about identity a minute ago, Kip. Yeah, you're not a warrior anymore. You're not a soldier anymore. Okay, what elements of being a soldier or marine, I don't know, whatever. What elements of being a soldier did brought you to life? Without knowing you, I would say you probably loved that there was meaning and significance.
20:29 Speaker 00 You probably really appreciated the camaraderie and brotherhood that you had in your service. You probably liked the discipline and structure that came with it. You probably liked that it was always something new and exciting to do. Maybe you even liked the potential and inherent danger of being a soldier, a warrior. Okay, is that are those things exclusive to being in the military? No. I mean, a firefighter can have that, a police officer can have that. There's two right off the bat that fit those characteristics and there's plenty more. But the point that I'm making is you probably because we see so many, so many military members and veterans do this.
21:12 Speaker 00 Is they wrap up their identity in their rank or the uniform, that the pattern and color of camo that they're wearing. As if that's the thing that defines who you are. Well, I'm, I'm a command sergeant major and I wear this camo. I mean, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's a sliver of who you are as a human being. So I think what you need to do, Cash, is spend some really deep amount of reflective time thinking about who you are, not what you do, not your rank, not your title, not your position. I mean, you're not even a father. Right? You're not a father. You're not a husband. You're not a business owner. You're not a homeowner.
21:57 Speaker 00 You, you are a man and what kind of man, again, to go that vision exercise, do you want to be regardless of the outside factors? That fatherhood thing, that could go away. I mean, not to be morbid, but heaven forbid, I have friends who have children who have passed away. They're not actively fathers anymore because of that. Or a more likely scenario, a more optimistic, pleasant one, is that they go off to chase their own dreams and they leave the nest. Yes, technically still a father, but your whole role changes when you become an empty nester. Who are you then? I mean, there's, there's people that I know that I've talked to when their, their children leave the house, they're like stuck with their spouse, like I don't even know what to do with my spouse anymore. We don't even know each other anymore. Right? Cause you got so lost
22:42 Speaker 00 in something that could go away at any time. Garrett, talking about his health, that could be taken away. And so how many guys have we heard who will say, you know, Ryan, I know, I know my job is to protect, provide and preside, but I've been disabled for the past 10 years. Am I still a man? I don't know. Are you? Was that the entirety of what you brought to the table? If, if it is, then you're in a bad spot. That's a loss of, of hope. But if it isn't, then there's something else to lean on. So for cash, I would spend some time really thinking about who you are as a man outside of military service and
23:23 Speaker 00 what's next? What's your next mission? What's another dream that you have? What's, what's a skill set that you can use from your time in service and now translate it over to civilian life and feel just as incredible about that? I mean, take, take the Black Rifle Coffee guys as just one small example. There's countless examples. Born Primitive is another one. Military members, former, former spec ops guys, SEALs. I mean, we've had a ton of them on the podcast and they're, they're running amazing businesses and they have podcasts and businesses and coffee and making knives. And I mean, you name it. So there's something out there. You just really need to start figuring out what is going to call and speak
24:06 Speaker 00 to you. And I'd also enlist the people closest to you. You have a family, your wife and kids know you better than anybody else. Talk to them about it. Tell them what you just told us. Hey guys, I feel empty. I feel like I'm, I'm just a character in this life and I want to be passionate about the family and about the house that we have and about my job. What do you know about me that could help me find that? Help me unpack this a little bit. They'll help you. They want to see you. They, not only do they want it, they have a vested interest in you not being the character you're talking about.
24:38 Speaker 01 Yeah. Right. Let me ask you this. Do you feel like the titles that because we do this not just in the military, but even people do this from a job perspective. I think this is like rooted in the idea why my most guys get like depressed if they get laid off. Right. Because there's some identity tied to that job that they had or transitions from the military.
25:03 Speaker 01 And ultimately transcendent across multiple areas of life. Do you think this is the deeper work? Like that, that those titles worked for us because it was more tied to external validation that it was this thing that like, people see me as a soldier. I'm a warrior. I'm a soldier, but it, but it's not like internal. It's external validating. And then when that gets stripped, you're left with character and values and personal relationships. And we may never get validation from other people for those things. And, and thus that's the deeper, harder, probably more valuable work.
25:46 Speaker 01 And, and that maybe there's just a warning here of like, be careful of latching your value to titles and what we do. And it's more about our character. I don't know. Does that make sense? And would you agree with that? What's your thoughts?
26:02 Speaker 00 Yeah. I mean, I think I would agree. Um, it's also just harder to see, you know? It's the reason when we do our battle plan, why guys tend to gravitate towards condition, which is your physical health and contribution, which is becoming a man of value, but, but your finances and career are included in that as well. Well, we gravitate to that because it's very easy to quantify, right? I can jump on the scale and instead of being 210 pounds, I'm 205 pounds. And then I know, okay, well, there you go. Whatever I'm doing is working. Um, or I can open my bank account and I could say, I've got a hundred thousand in there today. And then tomorrow I've got 98. Well, something, what happened? Oh, I made a mortgage payment. Okay. Well, cool. Now we replenish the 2000 you just paid for the mortgage.
26:47 Speaker 00 It's very easy to quantify. And the same thing is true about going into work. You're like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm a lawyer. I'm a partner or I'm a junior associate and I'm working my way up the chain. That's easy. So that I think that's part of it as well is that because it's so easy to quantify, we just naturally gravitate towards that. But I really like, and this book's older now, I want to say it's probably 11 or 12 years old, Start With Why by Simon Sinek. And he makes the case, and I agree with him, that when we're thinking about who we are and how we show up in the world, we ought to start with the why of what we do. So your why, as a soldier, not to put words in your mouth, might be something along
27:29 Speaker 00 the lines of your patriotism for, for the country, your, your love, your, your American pride, your desire to, to serve the American people, to serve those outside of the country who don't have the ability to take care of and protect themselves. That's good. Why is that important to you? Well, maybe your father was in the military and you watched what he did and you were proud of him when he came home and he told you about these stories and adventures that he went on and battles that he fought. And so that got ingrained into you as a young child. You don't want to see people suffer. Or maybe alternatively, you grew up in an environment where people were suffering at the hands of dictators
28:13 Speaker 00 and tyrants. And so you said, I don't want that to happen anymore. I'm not okay with that happening. And so you became a soldier because you wanted to actively do something about it. But is that the only way to serve your why? No, it's really not. I mean, you can, you can join the Peace Corps, right? You can, you, you can be a civilian contractor. You can, you can start a charitable organization. Like, there's so many different ways to do it that still meet the why, regardless of what that external validation might be, or external identification is.
28:50 Speaker 01 Yeah. Hmm. Thank you.
28:52 Speaker 00 So read that book. All right. Start with why?
28:55 Speaker 01 Porter Delago Delgado, sorry, Porter Delgado. He says, a quick one, my brother and I haven't spoken in two years over something honestly, pretty small. Now that I look back on it, who reaches out first when neither of you is actually in the wrong?
29:14 Speaker 01 I love the assumption that the person who reaches out has to be the one that's in the wrong and the other one that's not in the wrong. You never reach out.
29:22 Speaker 00 Right. The answer, regardless of who's wrong, or you're both wrong, which is probably more likely, or neither of you are wrong, is you. You're the one asking the question.
29:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:35 Speaker 00 Like, that's the only person you can control. I mean, what's the alternative? Reaching out to your brother to say, hey, you need to reach out to me. Well, you lost then, because you reached out first. Like, what game are you playing?
29:45 Speaker 01 Or just wait and hope. I'll, I'll hold on to my grudge and, and give him 20 years to maybe, you know, reach out to me.
29:52 Speaker 00 Yeah, I don't, I don't think anybody needs to be right or wrong or anything else for you to be a man and reach out. I mean, clearly you miss him. Clearly you want to have a relationship with him. You wouldn't ask the question if that weren't the case. So yeah, get out the phone and call him today. And just say what you just said. Hey, well, a little different, actually. I would say something like, hey, look, I know, did he say how long they haven't talked for?
30:15 Speaker 01 Two years.
30:17 Speaker 00 Yeah. Hey, I know it's been a couple of years and I know some things were said and done and I feel like, I, I feel like I treated you like a jerk because I've ignored you for two years. I wouldn't say like, we've treated each other like jerks because he might not think that.
30:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:33 Speaker 00 Just talk about yourself. Right. Just, that's it. Hey, look, if it's you, my role playing with you, Kip, I'd be like, hey, Kip, look, you know, I know how it all went down a couple of years ago. And the truth is, is I've, I've thought about you and your family and, and the good times and friendship we've had and it just sucks that we're not friends anymore. And I just wanted to tell you, I'm really sorry that I behaved that way. I can't even remember what the fight was about. That's potential too. Uh, or maybe you do remember and you're like, I remember what the fight is about. And after two years of introspection, I can see why it's just not that big a deal relative to us having a relationship together. So I wanted to reach out to you and tell you that I, I realize I treated
31:12 Speaker 00 you unfairly for the last two years by ignoring you, by, by abandoning you. And I'd like to set, set it straight. Can we go, you know, hit some, hit some golf balls this weekend? Or, hey, there's a game, you know, can we, can I take you to the game?
31:32 Speaker 00 I don't think this is a hard thing to do. Now, look, he's got his agency, right? And he might say, no, screw off. At least you can live with yourself. At least I could. I'd still be heartbroken about it, but at least I could live with myself. I could look the man in the mirror and say, yeah, you were a schmuck about it. And then you tried to fix it and he wasn't interested. And that's his prerogative. But you did what you could do. So yeah, the answer is you reach out, of course.
32:00 Speaker 01 Love it. Um, Anders.
32:03 Speaker 00 Actually, hold on before I would like, yeah, I would like him to follow up with us too. Once he does it. So, yeah, I think that'd be interesting.
32:10 Speaker 01 Let us know how it goes. Yeah. And, and we, most of us know, right? It's going to go well in most cases.
32:16 Speaker 00 The odds are it will. The odds are he's thinking the same thing you've been thinking.
32:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. And the only way this really goes wrong anyway, is, hey, Ryan, it's been two years since you were an asshole. And I think you need to get over it. Let's hang out, right? Like, that's not going to go well. That's why you own your part. You know, let go of the story of everybody else. All right. Uh, back to Anders. I'm going to only pronounce his name once, and I did already. So we're going with just the first name here. All right. My wife and I started fostering last year, and we just had to hand a six-year-old back to the bio, by, um, the bioparent we don't trust to keep him safe. I've never felt that powerless in my life. How does a man lead his family through grief for a kid who was never legally his to keep?
33:07 Speaker 01 This is tough. And I, I know people actually have experienced the same exact thing.
33:13 Speaker 00 I mean, I I've actually experienced it when I was younger. My mom brought in foster children. We had this one cute little girl. I was young, so I don't know the entirety of the story, but this cute little girl, I think her name was. Uh, she, she was, she was Mexican and I can't remember if it was like, it might've been Maria or like Lucia, it was something, but anyways. She was so cute. I think she was about one at the time and my sister and I just loved her to death and then she left. And my mom explained why that was the case. She's going to go back with her parents and quite honestly, I don't know if her parents were in the right headspace. Probably not to the degree they should if she ended up in foster care to begin with.
33:52 Speaker 00 I mean, that's safe to assume, I would imagine. I mean, I believe in redemption and that people can change, but do they change all that much? I don't know. Um, I would just talk with your family really openly and honestly about injustices in the world. And why situations aren't always right and why it's important that you as a family or you as a human being do what you think is right. And um, try to help where you can and realize that the world isn't fair and the world isn't perfect. And you wish it could be, but all we can do as a family and, and, and people is to just try to make the world a better place to the degree that we can. And do everything we can for what's important to us.
34:36 Speaker 00 Those are going to be not happy-go-lucky conversations, but those are serious conversations that your kids could learn so much from. And who knows? Who knows? May, maybe this, we talked about this before we hit record. You don't know the timing of life. It would be nice in some ways if we did. Sometimes you get second chances and sometimes you don't, but you don't know the plan. But I have faith that the plan is right, whatever it is, even if it's something I messed up, that's already been considered and taken into consideration. But who knows the conversations, the really powerful conversations that you can have with
35:17 Speaker 00 your wife and kids right now might lead to your, this foster child coming back into your life, or maybe, maybe one of your children in 30 years goes on to create the, the next evolution of foster care that, that ensures that this kind of stuff doesn't happen, or at least happens less because you're the man having difficult conversations rather than ignoring or, or overlooking them because they're hard to have with your kids. This is, this is when it really means that I'm a, I'm a father, or more so I'm a dad. Any man can have children. You can, you can biologically have children. It takes something more to be
36:01 Speaker 00 the kind of dad that they need you to be. And it's these moments. It's not the fun ones. It's these moments that really define who you are as a dad.
36:10 Speaker 01 Amen to that, man. Well, and I can't help but look at this, Anders, and like, just think through the, the friends that I have that have kind of been in these situations. And one interesting thing that I've seen time and time again is how great they were about fostering the relationship with the parent.
36:36 Speaker 01 And staying in that kid's life, even though that kid's no longer with them. You cut ties and it's like tit for tat them versus us. You're going to lose influence with that six-year-old. But you kind of inject yourself, obviously, I mean, there's agency on both sides, so this may not be possible. Yeah. But in, in a lot of cases that I've seen, the parents kind of become friends with the other parents.
37:04 Speaker 00 I have seen that.
37:05 Speaker 01 And oh, you need a babysitter? You're going on vacation? We're here for you. Like, they end up becoming like cousins to this kid. And so, you know, kind of.
37:17 Speaker 01 Broaden your horizon of your role here. It may not be what you want it to be. It might be a different version, but man, there's, there's, I think there still might be a great opportunity for you to impact this kid and be a positive impact to this mom or dad. That's kind of struggling. Yeah. And it could be really powerful.
37:39 Speaker 00 You know why? Really? Well, first of all, Kip, well said. I had not even considered that, but absolutely. I mean, well said with that.
37:47 Speaker 00 I, I, I'm taking what you said and I'm applying it to a broader spectrum of categories. You know, I'm so tired of hearing men who have the attitude, it's the not my responsibility attitude. And I'm not saying that Anders and his family have this. Clearly they don't because they're doing something they don't have to do. But it's amazing to me in all the wrong ways, why so many men will just do the bare minimum to get by. You know, they'll go, they'll go into work and they'll, and they'll say to their wives at home, like, my boss doesn't like me or my boss doesn't appreciate me. Or, or I can't get a raise to save my life. And then they'll go into work at exactly the right time they're supposed to be there.
38:29 Speaker 00 Do the exact duties that they've been instructed to do, leave exactly when they're supposed to leave. Not volunteer for assignments, not show up for meetings, not take advantage of the, the, the three day or the week long course that your boss will freaking pay for. All you have to do is go. And you're like, ah, no, that's not my responsibility. That's not in my job description. They don't pay me enough to do that. And then you're going to complain, and again, Anders is not doing this, but then those men are going to complain about why they're not getting ahead. I get sick of the bare minimum, the not my responsibility mentality. The mentality should be, I'm going to do everything to the nth degree, everything.
39:15 Speaker 00 I'm going to go above and beyond. I'm going to push further than what is expected. I'm going to take the standard that's expected of me and exceed that as much as I possibly can within, within reason. You start looking at life like that. I know guys will be like, "Well, but they don't pay me to do that." "Or they don't appreciate me." Yeah, right now, you're probably not gonna get the appreciation, the desires. Like, you're probably not gonna do that. But if you build that habit over a year, five years, 10 years, a lifetime, you will win. Absolutely, you will win. It's like, you can't help but win. You couldn't even fight it off if you wanted to. It will find you if you go above and beyond.
40:00 Speaker 00 And that's why I like what you were saying is like, "Yeah, you could be a foster care and take care of this child." That's what's expected of you. That's what you signed up for, and I commend you for doing it. But what I like about what you said is, "What else can I do above and beyond what is required of me to make this a better situation for my family, for this child, and for his or her family, wherever they may be?"
40:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:26 Speaker 01 Beckett Amero, "I sold a business for more money than I ever expected to see, and instead of feeling settled, I feel almost guilty and a little lost, like the goalposts I've been running towards for a decade just vanished. What's a man supposed to chase once the thing he wanted is already his?"
40:49 Speaker 00 That's it? Like, that's all? I'd never felt that way before. So it's hard for me to imagine not wanting to build a new field, a new arena to play in. What a cool opportunity, too, right? Like, I don't understand the guilt thing. Do you know why he might feel guilty? Does that resonate with you? Do you know what he might be alluding to there?
41:12 Speaker 01 I get the loss.
41:15 Speaker 00 I get that, sure.
41:16 Speaker 01 I do get that, yeah. Not the guilt, though. But I remember, you know, I was heads down strong. Like, I went to school full-time and worked full-time until I got my bachelor's, and it was just miserable. Like, it was just a really, really tough time. And I remember I graduated, I just had a job, and I felt lost.
41:39 Speaker 01 Cause I was like full court pressing so much that I wasn't thinking about the next thing. And then once I was done with school and I had like that job I was trying to get, I was just kinda like, now what? You know what I mean? And, and then it kinda forced me to be like, okay, well, what's the next thing? Like I had to define that. So there's a little bit of a gap of loss, but I don't get the guilt unless he has an unhealthy relationship with finances that says, you know, if you're rich, it means that you did it wrong or something, maybe.
42:08 Speaker 00 Yeah. You took advantage of somebody or you're rich because somebody else isn't kinda thing. Yeah, maybe. Were you on the call this morning, the iron council call?
42:16 Speaker 01 Um, for the first 30 and then I had to drop.
42:18 Speaker 00 Okay. Yeah. So, um, we got talking a little bit about being the new guy. And anytime anybody talks about being the new guy, it seems to me, they always look at it from the place of this sucks. Like I feel stupid. This sucks. Like I hate being the new guy. I hate. And I, I challenged the guys. I'm like, what if we thought about it the opposite? Like what if instead of saying, oh, being the new guy sucks. You're like, being the new guy is the best. And what I said on the call is that's where the most growth and excitement happens in any aspect of life. If I go to train jujitsu for the first time, I'm going to learn way more in that hour than you will as a, as a black belt and somebody who's been training for almost decades at this point. You might learn one little thing
43:02 Speaker 00 that like adjust your toe and move it this way or move that this way. Or maybe somebody shows you how to like make that, that submission a little tighter, but I'm going to learn everything in the same amount of time. Wouldn't you like, don't, don't you want to chase that feeling? Or, or you think about a new relationship? That's the most exciting time. Yeah. It's awkward. And sometimes you're on a date and it's like uncomfortable pauses and you're like, what do I ask? Like, and you feel silly and stupid, but also you're getting to know this woman who you're interested in and she's interested in you and you're telling about stories that she doesn't know and she's telling you stories that you don't know. But if you're married for 25 years or in your case kept 18 now, it's like you've
43:46 Speaker 00 heard the stories. In fact, you were there for all of the stories. That doesn't make it worse. It just means you don't get to learn as much about Asia as I might get to learn about somebody I just started dating. This is what's and the cool thing for Beckett, I think his name is, the cool thing for Beckett is he's got the financial capital to chase some things around.
44:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, clean slate.
44:08 Speaker 00 With money, not just clean slate, clean slate with resources, connections, money, experience. Cause here's the problem when you're a kid is you have all this enthusiasm for life and you have no way to fund it.
44:25 Speaker 00 And then as, as a grown adult, as a man, typically it's an inverse relationship. You've got the resources to fund it, but you're like, I'm kinda dead inside. Two or three guys have talked about this today. Well, Beckett, you've got the best of both worlds. Clearly you had some passion for what you're doing. You wouldn't have been able to sell that business for what you did. So you've got a clean slate, some enthusiasm for something else that might come along, and you've got a way to fund it. Take advantage of it. What's it gonna be? You know, that's the question. So what I would suggest to you from a practical perspective is just get out a notepad this afternoon or this weekend, whenever.
45:07 Speaker 00 And just write down all the things that sound interesting to you. All the things. If you want to go scuba diving with sharks in Australia, write that on your list.
45:18 Speaker 00 If you want to learn how to, how to build an app, an AI app, write it on your list. If you want to open a mechanic shop, write it on your list. I was driving by, I take my dog to a kennel here in town. And I called them up a couple of weeks ago, well, it was a week or so ago when we went up to the lake with you. And I found out they'd shut their doors, like they just closed. I didn't even know it. And I drove by a couple of days ago and the building's for sale and I kind, in my mind, I was like, oh. Well, it's already set up for a dog kennel. I'm like, that sounds interesting. What would it take? And so I kind of looked into it a little bit until my better judgment got the best of me and said, you don't, you barely even take care of your own dog.
46:03 Speaker 00 Why would you take care of other dogs? I'm like, okay, yeah, I hear you, God. I hear you. I don't want to kill your animals. So I hear you. And other people's animals. But the point that I'm saying is like, always be curious about what's out there. And then when you make that list, don't rule anything out. That's what a lot of people do. They'll be like, oh, I would like to go skydiving with sharks off the coast of Australia, but I really would like to code, but this exercise, that's not allowed. This exercise is a dreaming exercise without restraint. Write it all down. And I think that'll get the creative juices flowing and um, you might start whittling it down to something that actually sounds kind of enticing and then go try it all. Try everything.
46:48 Speaker 00 Get your family involved, get your friends involved. Go do it all. Just try it all.
46:55 Speaker 01 Rhett Collison, I don't have kids on my own, but I've got six nieces and nephews who look up to me. Is there a real version of protect, provide and preside for a guy who isn't a father? Or am I just supposed to sit that part out?
47:08 Speaker 00 No, hell no. Like my, my children's uncles
47:17 Speaker 00 who, who are my ex stepbrothers are valuable in my kids' lives.
47:24 Speaker 00 It's, it's important to them. One in particular, because he's just in proximity. And they love spending time with him and they learn a lot from him and I'm grateful for that. So yeah, absolutely. And you don't have to just be the fun uncle, although you should, because you can, you, you get to do all the fun things without any of the horrible things about being a parent. Um, but yeah, like get, get to know them. Get to know your nieces and nephews. I don't know how old they are, but the older ones, you're going to be able to spend more time with them, take them camping. You know, ta- take them on trips, involve them in what you're doing, bring them to the house, throw parties, go to their birthday parties. Become super influential in their lives. I'll tell you what happens a lot of the times, and I think you would attest to this kid, but you tell me what you think about this.
48:08 Speaker 00 I've had it happen so many times, like my oldest son, I remember.
48:12 Speaker 00 Um, I got so tight. He started getting into strength training when we were in Maine. So this was about five years, five or six years ago. So he starts getting into strength training and God, all I heard about was Coach Moore. Coach Moore this, Coach Moore that, Coach does this, Coach does this. And then we'd go lift together and Breckin's like, Dad, you're doing your bench wrong. I'm like, who says? He's like, Coach said, you gotta do it this way. I'm like,
48:38 Speaker 01 This other man. Yeah.
48:40 Speaker 00 You know, I'm like, who's this Coach Moore guy? And then you know what I did? Beat his ass. No, I'm just kidding. What I did is I got over myself because it's not about me. It's about my son. And so he'd come home and he'd be like, hey, Coach Moore said this. I'm like, that's awesome. Listen to him. He knows what he's doing. And then I started reaching out to Coach Moore and I'd be like, hey, man, I really appreciate how he's coming along. Tell me what's going on. And he would tell me things. And I've watched their relationship. I'd never, I didn't interfere with their really, I love their relationship. That he could say the exact same things to my son that I would. And in many cases, it would be more,
49:21 Speaker 00 he would be more influential and more valuable if it came from Coach Moore than me. Now you can look at that and think this is threatening. Or you can think, good, that's what I want for my kid. And the same is true of you as an uncle. There's going to be things that you can say to your nieces and nephews that dad can't say, or if he does, they won't listen. So you have a really, really tremendous opportunity here. And I say, lean all the way in.
49:48 Speaker 01 Yeah. And just check the ego. I mean, that's really what it comes down to, right?
49:52 Speaker 00 And make sure you include the, well, and make sure you include their, their parents too, and what you're doing. Because there might be some of that feeling threatened scenario like I'm talking about. So just make sure dads and moms know like, hey, yeah, Uncle Rhett, he's awesome. He takes them camping. He teaches them life skills. He, he involves us in the decision-making process. He teaches, he, he tells us how the kids are doing when they let him know about things. Man, this is awesome. So you have such a cool opportunity here.
50:23 Speaker 01 All right, we got one more question, if you don't mind, I got to prepare for my next meeting, but Silas Dorkinson, this is really interesting, I love this question.
50:33 Speaker 00 Dorkinson, is his last name?
50:35 Speaker 01 Dirkson, Dirkson.
50:38 Speaker 00 Why would you say Dorkinson?
50:39 Speaker 01 Kind of dork, I think it's dork, but
50:42 Speaker 00 Oh, it is?
50:43 Speaker 01 Dirkson, let's go with Dirkson.
50:45 Speaker 00 All right, keep going.
50:46 Speaker 01 We're renaming you, Silas, all right. I got fired publicly last year over decision that I made, that made the local news. And it's still the first thing people bring up about me in this town. The question, how do you rebuild a reputation as a man when everyone around you already decided who you are?
51:07 Speaker 00 You know, I like this question a lot, and it doesn't just apply to your situation, but here's what I think a lot of guys won't do.
51:16 Speaker 00 You just have to kind of own it, and I'm not saying make light of it, so don't misunderstand what I'm saying here, but you kind of have to just be lighthearted about it.
51:29 Speaker 00 Again, I don't know what you did, but if you own it, like maybe you truly were in the wrong, maybe there was some fraud or something, I don't know what happened, maybe you stole something, who knows?
51:41 Speaker 00 You know, maybe, maybe you got into an altercation with your boss, like a physical altercation, and you know, like, it could be a lot of different things. But just own it, just embrace it, you know, so when people are like, oh yeah, here comes Silas, you know, and you're talking with somebody, you're like, yeah.
51:56 Speaker 01 The boss beater.
51:57 Speaker 00 Yeah. You're like, yeah, I did, I did do that, you know, and gosh.
52:04 Speaker 00 You know, we had, we had a good fight, and I came out the better man that day, but I actually didn't, it actually ended up being really bad for me.
52:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
52:13 Speaker 00 Like, do you see, did you see the attitude adjustment? It's like, yeah, I did do that, I did that, and gosh, I've been thinking about that for the last two years or whatever it was, and oof, that's a day I wish I could do over, I'd do it so much differently.
52:28 Speaker 00 I don't, you disarm people when you do that because what they're trying to do, even if they're not even necessarily trying to do it, they're just, they're just exercising discernment. I would do that too. Like if I knew you got publicly fired for fraud, let's say, yeah, I'm probably not going to be real anxious to hire you for my business. So people are just exercising discernment and so they're trying to protect themselves and other people. We do it clunkily and, and judgmentally at times, but I think for the most part, that's what we're trying to do. So just own it. Yeah, I did that. You know, that was a horrible situation and I did that. Like I think about one that comes to mind, I just saw this the other day, Monica Lewinsky, who we all know,
53:13 Speaker 00 has her own podcast. She's actually hilarious.
53:17 Speaker 00 And she, she made light of a life altering, potentially life shattering set of circumstances. And she's hilarious about it. Yeah. You know, a lot of time has passed and the perception of, of Bill Clinton has changed and there's, so there's a lot that's happened there. But just own it, acknowledge it. When people bring it up, don't deflect, say, yeah, I know that was, that was the worst, that was one of my worst decisions of my life. And it was good though, because it taught me X, Y, and Z. And stop trying to fix your character in the eyes of other people. Just do your work, put your head down
54:00 Speaker 00 and be the kind of man you want to be now, that maybe you weren't as much of back then.
54:06 Speaker 01 Totally. And, and to point out, that works because when you let go of the story of trying to defend it and you just own it, that's respectable. Yeah. When you go, yeah, that was a mistake. You know, I shouldn't have made that call. That was a bad decision, you know, wish I could change that.
54:28 Speaker 01 I respect that, but if I bring up something, you're like, oh yeah, well, what a lot of people don't realize is and you make excuses for it. I'm like, oh God, you didn't learn. Still a problem for you then. Got it. So there's some power in just owning it because people will respect that. It's amazing what people will um give. What is it? What's the term? Grace? Yeah, it's a it's amazing how much grace people will give you when you're authentic and you're focused on growth. Cause it is very empowering to see someone um grow and admit
55:10 Speaker 01 their mistakes and be centered about becoming a better version. It's very honorable regardless of your past. And so I would embrace that.
55:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think I think you're right. I think when people see you're not doing that, they're like, oh yeah, this guy is shady. He's trying to hide it. Yeah, it's not flattering. It's flattering. A little self deprecation goes a long way. Not to beat yourself up. Like sometimes people make posts on social media and they'll be like, you're an idiot, or whatever they say. And I and I just some I'm I've been better about this lately where I used to defend myself and get in fights. And then it's like, I look, I actually proved him right. Um, yeah. And so a lot of times, as I've been moving forward now, it's like, man, if you knew me, you would say something way worse than that. Like, you know, it's it's disarming. Like, people don't
56:02 Speaker 00 expect you to do that. When people talk about my alcohol abuse or divorce, I'm like, yep. Yeah, that was a bad day and those were bad decisions and that was not the kind of man I wanted to be. And here's what I'm doing now. Yeah. Yeah. The answer is yes. So anyways, just, just keep your head down, man. I know. And people have short memories too, which is cool. So yeah, keep your head down.
56:28 Speaker 01 Let's be honest, most of us are concerned about ourselves anyway.
56:32 Speaker 00 Or they'll find somebody else to be mad about tomorrow. And so all you have to do is just outweigh it. You're fine. I know. I know. It seems like the end of the world now, but I think looking back over five years and 10 years and maybe even 20 years, it just looks like a little blip on the radar and that's it.
56:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Love it, man. All right, call to action, you know, I think it goes back to, what question was it? Was it our first question?
56:58 Speaker 00 Uh, that was the heart, the health scare?
57:01 Speaker 01 No, a little bit of the health scare. I mean, there's a trend here, right? But I'm thinking primarily like, cash, right? The combat vet.
57:09 Speaker 00 NPC, non-player.
57:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, and getting the frameworks in place, right? You know, you mentioned already Ryan's like, hey, do you have a vision of where you're going? Do you have the systems in place to build the habits to be consistent, consistent to transition? Whether that's him transitioning from the military or whether it's, um, you know, this other gentleman showing up more powerfully for his nieces and nephews. I mean, we see the trend here. Systems, clarity of around vision, accountability. What's the next move, right? And that's what we do in the Iron Council. And so to learn more about what we're doing there and to band with us, go to theironcouncil.com.
57:54 Speaker 01 Uh, preview call, you changed the date slightly. I think it was the 12th, or is it still the 12th? Do you want to talk about it? Because it might be a little bit different as well, right?
58:02 Speaker 00 Yeah, we're gonna do this a little differently. We're doing something that I call the War Room, where we all get together as men. It's free. There's no obligation with anything. You just have to sign up and RSVP for it. Um, but it's called the War Room, where we all get together and we counsel each other on different aspects of life. So that's going to be held. It's our very first one. I'm very excited about it. It'll be Wednesday, August 19th. Yes, Wednesday, August 19th at 8:00 PM Eastern. It's called the War Room. If you go to orderofman.com/warroom, all you have to do is drop, I think you just drop your name and email address, so I can send you a reminder. And then you're in, you're locked in. And again, we're going to be talking about in that, in that call, again, Wednesday, August 19th at 8.
58:45 Speaker 00 We're going to be talking about building the kind of structures and boundaries that you need to have in place, the systems that are going to help you conquer your life. So it's going to be a good time. Um, it's going to be very informative. And you'll get an idea of other things that we do within the organization and the movement. So check it out. Orderofman.com/warroom and you'll get all the details.
59:08 Speaker 01 Excellent. And as always, if you're not following Mr. Mikkler on X or Instagram, that's at Ryan Mikkler. And while you're at it, hop on over to YouTube and subscribe there. I think we have roughly about 350,000 subscribers on the YouTube channel. So feel free to join and interact with us there as well.
59:26 Speaker 00 Sweet. Kip, appreciate you as always, guys. Great questions today. And as always, hopefully, we gave you some, some things to chew on, some things to consider to make your lives better. That's what we're all about. We will be back on Friday. Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.
59:41 Speaker 02 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man Podcast. You ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you are meant to be? We invite you to join the Order at OrderOfMan.com.
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