Strong Backs, Callused Hands, and Bruised Hearts | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Society often celebrates a man's physical labor- his calloused hands and strong back- while instructing him to hide or feel ashamed of his emotional scars. In this episode of Friday Field Notes, host Ryan Michler breaks down why carrying a bruised heart is not evidence of weakness, but proof that you actually showed up and lived. Drawing from Theodore Roosevelt's famous "Man in the Arena" speech, Ryan reframes past failures, divorces, addictions, and losses as valuable badges of effort. Stop sitting on the sidelines in the cheap seats. Learn how to build calluses on your heart, stop disguising cowardice as wisdom, and take one actionable step back into the arena. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 - The Marks of Physical Labor 02:15 - The Unseen Bruises of a Man's Heart 04:50 - Theodore Roosevelt's "Citizenship in a Republic" 06:15 - The Man in the Arena 08:00 - Why Wounds Are Proof of Effort, Not Weakness 10:40 - Responding to Haters and Cheap-Seat Critics 15:45 - What True Sacrifice Looks Like 18:25 - Building Calluses on the Heart Through Resistance 22:30 - Sovereignty: Getting Back in the Ring 29:20 - Wisdom vs. Cowardice: Protecting vs. Avoiding 31:45 - Weekly Challenge: Re-Engage With What Bruised You 33:50 - Iron Council War Room Announcement Battle Planners: Pick yours up today! https://store.orderofman.com/products/order-of-man-annual-battle-planner Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto https://www.amazon.com/Masculinity-Manifesto-Establishes-Influence-Credibility/dp/1684513316/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1665048672&sr=8-1. For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood https://orderofman.link/iron-council. Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready https://orderofman.link/battle-ready-0

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Are you not re-engaging in life because you're protecting yourself? Or are you just avoiding being back in the arena? Because those aren't the same thing. Protecting yourself is wisdom, I'll give you that. But avoiding, avoiding it altogether, dressed up as wisdom, is actually cowardice. And maybe we're just, you know, like, painting over it, glossing over it, making it sound better than it is. But if you're just avoiding, you're being a coward. You're not being wise. Wise is learning the lesson and getting back in the arena and then doing something different.

• 0:35Speaker 00

  Man, I want you to look at a man's hands after 20 years of real work. They're not soft, they're not smooth, but cracked knuckles, thick elephant pad calluses, maybe a finger or two that doesn't quite sit straight, or maybe he's not even there. Maybe he's missing a finger. Because, you know, he broke it or lost it on the table saw when he was 10. But he kept working anyway. And those hands tell a story before that type of guy even says a word. And then look at his back.

• 1:20Speaker 00

  You know, bent, bent a little bit more, maybe it's crooked, maybe it's not quite as, as straight as it ought to be. Maybe you might think he has scoliosis, like we used to get tested for when I was, I don't know, eight years old. You know, our, you know, grandma, Grandma Elma or whatever, used to like, check our backs for scoliosis. But this is a guy who's been carrying weight, physical ones, financial weight, the, the weight of people who just depend on a guy like him to carry the load.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  And you can read a lot about a man's work and labor in his back, the same way that you might read it in his hands. I was at the gym today and I saw this really metro, looks maxing, effeminate guy in the gym and he was doing bench press on the Smith machine instead of free bench presses with gloves on his hands. And look, not completely judgmental, at least he's there, but also do some, do some free bench presses. Take, take the gloves off. It's okay if you have a few calluses on your hands. But there's also another place

• 2:44Speaker 00

  where the work of men shows up and almost no one looks there. Society doesn't look there. Culture doesn't look there. It's his heart. It's not the muscle. It's not the reading. It's not the beats per minute, but it's the man underneath it. It's, it's the part of him that's absorbed the blows of failure. One of my favorite quotes of all time is, "The real man gains renown by standing between his family and destruction, absorbing the blows of fate with equanimity." And you can tell this in a man's heart. It's betrayal.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  It's death of a loved one. I, I've actually, I have two friends who, just in the past 48 hours, one has lost her sister to cancer. Another one is working through, actually, two, actually, now that I say that, two men, very close men in my circle, who are walking with their wife in overcoming cancer and the treatment of that. It's, it's the death of the people that we love. It's, it's the weight of promises that we as men failed to

• 4:07Speaker 00

  keep at times because the natural man got the better of us. And that part, the heart carries bruises too. Not the physical necessarily, but the soul.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  And these, these big backs, and strong hands, and bruised hearts, they don't just show up when we roll up our sleeves. We, we build an entire culture around admiring the first two, the first two. You know, you can see a guy and you think, oh, that's a big, strong guy. Or you see his calloused hands, but we ignore the third. Like, we do celebrate at times the calluses. We'll respect the, that bent back. You know, I see old men who are still holding their wives' hands or opening the door for his 80-year-old bride. And I love it, but the bruised heart, the part of a man that's been hit probably the hardest, and is still working, is still pumping.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  We, we don't really know what to do with that. So, we don't talk about it. Or worse, we're taught to be ashamed of it. That you have emotion, that you have experiences, that you have feelings, that you have desires and dreams and ambitions, but you're not supposed to talk about it. Like a bruise on the heart, that, that somehow, it's, it's a proof of you being weak? Instead of proof that you're not. And I want to change how you think about that today. In 1910, and this should be an important year for all of us, for this reason among others. But Theodore Roosevelt stood up in Paris,

• 5:48Speaker 00

  and he gave this incredible speech that most of you listening, if not all of you, have heard some fragment of. Even if you don't know where it came from. It's called Citizenship in a Republic. It's not called The Man in the Arena. That's what you guys are thinking. It's not called that. It's called The Citizenship in a Republic. And buried inside that message is an excerpt that's been quoted more than just probably about anything else, and that's called The Man in the Arena.

• 6:22Speaker 00

  And here it is in full because it deserves to be heard that that segment anyways. And not chopped up into a meme. So let me read this to you. And just if you're in a position where you can close your eyes and you can sit on your chair, your recliner or in bed, or maybe you're at the gym right now in between reps. Maybe you're mowing the lawn, or maybe you're on the porch and you just need a breather for a second. You're about to go to bed and your kids are crying and screaming and kicking and wailing and gnashing of teeth. And I just need a breather. Listen to this for a second. Okay, here it is. It's not the critic who counts.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errors, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and no shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds? Who knows great enthusiasms? The great devotions?

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Who spends himself in a worthy cause? Who at the best knows in the end of, excuse me, in the end, the triumph of high achievement? And who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly? So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Think about that. Rewind it 30 or 45 seconds or whatever it took me to read that again and listen. Notice what Roosevelt is actually saying. He's not describing a man who wins.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  He's describing a man who bleeds. Dust and sweat and blood, errors, coming up short again and again, fails while daring greatly. This is not a man who wins at every turn.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  The man in the arena isn't the guy with a trophy all the time. He isn't the guy that hits the lottery all the time. He's a guy getting hit and then he gets back up anyways. And listen to the pre intro or whatever you want to call it for this podcast. You get back up again and again and again, one more time every time. The whole point of the passage is that the wounds that we have, big backs, calloused hands, bruised hearts are the proof of the effort, not evidence against it. So you fucked up in life. So you went through a divorce. So you're overcoming addiction. So you filed bankruptcy.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  So you've been, as one of my close friends Jay Lowry often says, you were a roach. Okay. Yeah, you were those things. I'm not telling you that you can't admit where you fell short. But what we want as men in ourselves and others around us is that strong back. It's those calloused hands because those are the visible respectable, sometimes easy to admire at a barbecue or a conference or a workout or a Spartan race. But what we do want is that heart that's untouched.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  We want a man who's carried weight without ever being bruised and beat up and burdened by it. And that man does not exist. You can put on every face. You can put on every mask. You can pretend that nothing's ever impacted you. And I've been dealing with things in my own life and the things of others that I care about. I've fielded just in the past two days, probably six calls from friends who are dealing with some real shit. Okay, that guy who doesn't deal with anything, who doesn't have a hurt heart does not exist. He never has. Every man who has ever built something, led something, loved someone, fought for a cause,

• 10:51Speaker 00

  has a bruised heart to show for it. And the question isn't whether you'll take the hit. The question is, what do you do with what's left?

• 11:04Speaker 00

  What do you do when you've been beat up and banged around and badgered and everything? What do you do with that? There's three things I want you to walk away with today. Okay, number one is that the wound that you have, whether it's the heart, or the back, or the calloused hands, or the injuries that you've been dealing with as a consequence of any of that, the wounds that you're carrying around are not the opposite of strength. It's the evidence of it. A man with an unbruised heart at 45 years old, it isn't a strong man. He's a man who never got into the arena. I mean, I talk with people like this on social media all the time.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  I had a guy just the other day, I made a post about what I think it means to be a good man and a good father. And I don't expect that all of you agree with me 100% of the time. But this guy said, yeah, coming from, what did he say? Coming from a divorced podcasting addict in recovery.

• 12:09Speaker 00

  And I messaged him back and I made a commitment not to be an asshole, which is something I have to fight against.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  And I said, oh yeah, you know, it must be really nice to have everything handed to you on a silver platter. It must be really nice, never have to have to deal with any issue and just sit on the sideline and take pop shots. And I was teeing this guy up and he fell right into it, as I knew he would. And he said, well, you're just making assumptions. Right, because I was saying it jokingly and mockingly. And he said, I, what did he say? I was abandoned by the time I was three. I got into drugs and alcohol abuse. And he listed off this litany of challenges that he's dealt with. And I didn't feel like I needed to just stomp on his nuts while he was telling me about all the things going wrong in his life. I thought, yeah, exactly. And do those challenges make you weaker or tougher?

• 13:02Speaker 00

  And I told him, you're just proving the point. We all have baggage, bro. Maybe it's addiction, maybe it's pornography, maybe it's a divorce, maybe it's being an asshole or lack of patience. Maybe it's being a lazy sack of shit. I don't know, I don't know what your thing is, but we all have it. And for you to cast stones at me, because I happen to be somebody who's relatively public, is hypocrisy at its best.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  And he said, yeah, but I'd never make money selling products to guys who are hurting.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  As if making money and doing something you love, or a service for society are mutually exclusive. They're not.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  I'd ask you, if you're still listening to this, what is it that you do? Maybe you're an attorney. Oh, really?

• 13:57Speaker 00

  Are you telling me that you're not going to help people go through family trauma? Out of the goodness of your heart? Why are you charging people? Or maybe you're a CPA. Oh, really? You're telling me that you won't just help people fight against the government? Because you're a good human being, you have to make money from it? Or maybe you're a therapist? Oh, you're going to help people work through their issues? And talk about their problems and find solutions to what they're dealing with? But you have to charge for it? Or maybe you're a plumber? Oh, well, you know, their house faucet, or sink, or toilet is leaking? And you're telling me you're going to come over? And you're going to charge them when their family is struggling? Because their toilet is leaking?

• 14:41Speaker 00

  And creating thousands of dollars worth of damage? Why wouldn't you just do that out of the goodness of your heart? This is the stupidity of the arguments that we hear. These are men who are in the arena, but they don't acknowledge themselves as in the arena. And so while they're dealing with their own stuff?

• 15:00Speaker 00

  They'll pick up stones, and they'll pick up dirt, and they'll even take their own shoes off? And they'll sling them at you? And they'll throw them at you? And they'll say, you're doing it wrong? As they chastise you for doing it wrong to others. It's ironic, at best, and disgusting at worst. Those are men who, I was going to say they never got in the arena? No, they got in the arena, but they don't even acknowledge that they're part of the gladi- They're the gladiator. These are guys who want to keep themselves safe. They want to cast stones. They want to keep their risk low. They don't want to turn that, that, that, um, discernment, I'm saying that generously, towards themselves.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  They want to turn it towards you.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  These are guys who want to keep their hands clean. They don't want to get dirty. And these are also guys who have nothing to show for it, but the absence of scars.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  There's a country music song, I can't remember who sings it, "Chicks Dig Scars." Kyle Carpenter, the youngest living Medal of Honor recipient's Instagram title is "Chicks Dig Scars." Yeah, they do, because they realize that that's a man who's lived a life, who's put himself in harm's way. And you take a guy like Kyle Carpenter, that guy jumped on a fucking grenade for his brothers. He saw a grenade being thrown and lobbed over onto the rooftop of his base. And instead of running, he decided, you know what, I'm gonna jump on that fucking thing. If there isn't a better example of what it means to be a man, I don't know what example you could share.

• 16:43Speaker 00

  He jumped on a grenade. He told me in a podcast that he said he woke up, and he wasn't entirely there, obviously, and he thought, because he could feel this warm liquid, that his friends, his marine friends, were pouring warm water on him, until he finally came to and realized that he was lying in his own blood. He died several times on the helicopter from where he was to the medical center that he was treated, and he lived, and he survived. That's a man who's in the arena.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  How do you even remotely, with an honest heart, and being a decent human being, say that guy's a piece of trash? And people will. I'm sure he has. I'm sure people have mocked him. I know they have. People closest to him tried to make him the villain when he was the hero.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  And then you have guys who maybe not are gonna jump on a grenade, but they've tried to build a business that failed. Or they tried to love a woman as best they could and she left. Or who raised a son or daughter who's struggling and maybe they have an alienated relationship. Who buried a friend, or a sister, or a brother that was way too young that shouldn't have died. In a just experience. And that man is walking around bruised because he was actually present for his life and others. And I want you to stop treating like the bruises that you have,

• 18:23Speaker 00

  the proof of the life that you lived is something that you did wrong. Start treating it like proof that you showed up. That you lived. That you did something worthwhile, that you loved, that you cared about people. That you fought for a cause that was important to you. Number two. Calluses on the heart. The protective nature of what we build around ourselves are the same way that calluses on the hands are built. It's repeated contact with resistance.

• 19:05Speaker 00

  When I was in the gym this morning, I'm doing pull-ups, I'm doing rows, I'm doing bench press. Yeah, I could feel it on my hands. I'm doing like V-ups on the hanging bar, I could feel it. That's how calluses are built. Contact with resistance. You don't get calluses from one day of hard labor, or from rubbing one out. The calluses that you have on your hands come from doing it again, and again, and again. Until the tissue on your hands, or the tissue proverbially around your heart, toughens up to the point where it stops tearing and shedding and ripping apart. And it's the identical thing with your heart.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  That first betrayal, or that first lost love, that's not what wounds you. It's not that. I mean, it hurts, no doubt. I remember the breakup with my first real girlfriend when I was 17 years old. It doesn't sting at all relative to the way it stung then.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  But those things wound us and in some ways protect us. But the man who keeps loving in spite of the woman who dumped him, or keeps leading in spite of the man who stopped following him, or keeps trying after he's been burned and let down and disappointed, is doing the same thing that the men before us did. You know, it's like swinging an axe for 30 years, working in the mill for 60 years, loving on that woman even when she was horrible to deal with for 60 years.

• 20:52Speaker 00

  He's toughening the tissue through repeated and willing contact with the exact thing that hurt him. And that's the crazy thing. In order to toughen yourself, strong back, calloused hands, bruised heart, what you actually need to do is go back to the very thing that hurt you. It's like jujitsu. When I went to jujitsu for the first time, I walked in and this little kid who was, he probably wasn't a kid, I'll just say a young man. He's probably a buck 30, I had 60 plus pounds on him. And the coach said, "Try not to get choked out." I'm like, "Okay, try not to get choked out by this guy." And within 30 seconds, this guy had his legs wrapped around my arm and neck in a way that I couldn't breathe.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  And instead of running away, I thought, "What is this voodoo that I need to learn?" It's not being numb. Numbness is like refusing to do the thing that you know hurts again. But a callus, you can still feel it, right? When I was doing rows this morning, I'm like, "Yeah, that, I can feel..." It didn't hurt to the point where I'd stop, but I'm like, "Yeah, I can feel that on my calluses."

• 22:02Speaker 00

  Calluses are just built to take the hit without breaking. And every time you go to the gym and you don't want to, and every time you choose to love again, when your entire heart tells you not to, or every time you take that risk to start a new business, even if every single one before has failed, means that you are not weak. It means you're building the calluses that are required for you to thrive. Number three, sovereignty. We talk a lot about sovereignty here. Guys, sovereignty is just choosing to get back in the arena, knowing that you're gonna get hit again. You know, I watch UFC and I see somebody like Justin Gagey, for example, or John Jones, or DC,

• 22:44Speaker 00

  or Conor McGregor, or Cowboy Saroni. I mean, take, take your pick. I don't care. They, they go into the arena knowing that they're gonna get punched in the friggin' face. Like, you understand that, right? They know, they're not going into the arena thinking, "Oh, maybe I can deflect and avoid and dodge and parry every single punch or kick that comes my way." No, they go into the, the octagon believing, "Hey, I'm gonna get punched in the face and I gotta figure out a way to overcome it." Okay, you, you in life are gonna get hit again. If you got, if you went through a hardship, a breakup, let's say, and you're wondering, "Oh, I don't know if I'm ever gonna love women again."

• 23:27Speaker 00

  You will, but the question is, do you have the testicular fortitude to actually try again? You know, maybe you went through a divorce, as I have. And the question is not, "Did you go through the divorce?" The question, well, twofold. What did you learn, number one? And number two, are you willing to get back in the arena even after you got kicked in the balls?

• 23:56Speaker 00

  I don't know what the answer is for you. The question is not, "Did you start a business and fail?" The question is, "What did you learn? And are you willing to act on your new idea?" Too many men aren't, and then they'll sit and they'll just like cast stones, and they'll take little pop shots, and they'll say little stupid things, and tell you, "You're the loser for getting back into the arena", when they're the loser, because those are the guys who sat on the sideline after failure and decided that it was too much for them, and so they're going to be a spectator for life. You were not born to be a spectator. So when guys come at me, and I get a little heated, and you can hear it in my voice, and they say, "Well, you're just a divorced dude."

• 24:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, true, and also, "I'm not gonna let you deter me from this mission."

• 24:50Speaker 00

  When they come to me and say, "Well, what do you know? You were an alcoholic." True, I agree, and also, "What does that have to do with what I've learned about how to be more disciplined and be a better man, and overcome the temptations that I am obligated to deal with?"

• 25:09Speaker 00

  You can call out "truth," I'll acknowledge that, but does that make me somebody who's weak? Does that make me somebody who's incapable of leading? Does that make me a hypocrite? Not if I acknowledge it. What it actually means is that if you're casting stones from the nosebleed section, telling me that because I struck out, that I don't deserve another at-bat, you're the fucking loser, not me.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  I'm, as Theodore Roosevelt would say, "In the arena." And this isn't about me, this is about you. So every time you hear somebody say, "You can't start a business because you failed one", "You can't love another woman because you went through a divorce", "You can't be sober because you used to be drunk",

• 25:55Speaker 00

  is weak, and pathetic, and cowardly, and that's not you. Those are decisions that you made. I'm not dismissing that. I made my decisions.

• 26:11Speaker 00

  I've made a lot of good decisions in my life and I've made a lot of horrible ones. And I'm not absolving myself of the horrible decisions I've made. I'm learning from them, I'm embracing them, and I'm choosing because of strong backs, calloused hands, bruised hearts, that I'm gonna get back in the arena. While all the other naysayers and all the other comfortable people in their, you know, pearly robes, sit up in the sidelines and tell me how bad or how bad you are.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  Being broken isn't about the wound that you have, it's about whether you go back into the arena or not. You know, men with significantly smaller wounds than yours, who would never get back up. They'll get hit once and they're like, "Life's over, life's too hard, I can't deal with this, I'm out." Literally and figuratively.

• 27:01Speaker 00

  And you know, men who almost lost everything, literally everything. Their wife, their children, their business, their finances, their self-respect.

• 27:12Speaker 00

  Potentially their lives. And then they decided, "No, I'm, I'm gonna get back up. I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stand up. I'm gonna get back in the arena."

• 27:26Speaker 00

  The variable is not the damage you receive. It's all relative. What hurts to me might not hurt to somebody else. What might hurt to somebody else doesn't hurt to me, it's all relative. But every time I choose to get up, and every time you do, to build, to love again, to lead again, to start a business, to, to, to marry, to recover from that medical condition you have,

• 27:52Speaker 00

  after you've already paid the price for messing up once, that is not being reckless or cowardly as the people on social media would tell you. That's actually command over your own life. Nobody can take that away from you, they'll chirp. Because if you do it, then it's an indictment against them. Do you realize that? The reason that the guys who have been beat up in life the same way, or maybe even less or more than you have, sit on the sidelines and they throw stones at you, the gladiator, is because if you thrive, then they have no other excuse to hide behind.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  They only wanna hurt you.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  They only want to tear you down. That's not even personal. People say that, "Oh, he's a hater." No, most people aren't haters. They don't hate me. What they actually do is they hate themselves.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  When somebody comes on and pokes and prods and throws rocks and makes digs, they're not mad at me.

• 28:56Speaker 00

  I'm a mirror for what they're actually mad about, which is them.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  So if they're not upset with me, then the choice to reengage is entirely mine. And here's where it gets practical because I'm not interested in just,

• 29:12Speaker 00

  you know, feeling something about this and then just moving on with our week. But I want you to think of one place in your life right now where your heart is bruised, where you're just afraid. It's okay to be afraid. It really is. It's okay to be afraid. It's not okay to live in it. It's not okay to move it to an action. It's okay to be afraid, though. I'm afraid.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  Sometimes I wake up afraid. Does that make me a coward? No. It actually makes me

• 29:43Speaker 00

  heroic. I mean, heroic's a little pretentious, but I think you understand. It doesn't make me a coward to be afraid and do something anyways. It makes me bold and strong and courageous. Courageous is probably the best way to say it.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Maybe some of you have quietly decided to stop showing up because of the challenges that you faced. I get it. Look, I get it. You're going through divorce. Your wife said she wanted a divorce. The bank called and said you owe them $10,000, or the IRS, even worse.

• 30:16Speaker 00

  Or one of your kids gets into trouble. Or you get diagnosed with a medical condition. Or your business partner calls and says, "We're, we're broke."

• 30:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, bad decisions lead to that. You made some of those bad decisions. So yeah, maybe the business has failed. Maybe a friendship fell apart. But I want you to name it specifically. What is it that's bruising you? Not generally, not like, oh, life is hard. Yeah, welcome to life, but specifically. And then ask yourself really honest questions, maybe just one in particular. Are you not re-engaging in life because you're protecting yourself? Or are you just avoiding being back in the arena? Because those aren't the same thing. And we as men, we lie to, we're really good at lying. Ask any woman, she'll tell you. We are really good at lying to ourselves.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  And that's the reality. We do lie to ourselves.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Protecting yourself is wisdom, I'll give you that. But avoiding the arena, avoiding it all together, dressed up as wisdom, is actually cowardice.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  And maybe we're just, you know, like painting over it, glossing over it, making it sound better than it is. But if you're just avoiding, you're being a coward. You're not being wise. Wise is learning the lesson and getting back in the arena and then doing something different. If I start up ABC company and it fails and then I never get back in the arena, I'm not wise. I'm just a coward. But if I build ABC company and it fails and I get back in the arena and I'm like, gee, I wonder what I did wrong with A, B, and C, and I learn D, E, and F, and I build company X, Y, and Z, and it thrives. That's wisdom. It's not cowardice.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  So your assignment this week is small. It's very simple, but it's not easy.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Take one step back towards that thing. Maybe you went through a divorce and you're afraid of loving again, but there's this really attractive woman who you've got your eye on. Just ask her out, bro. Just ask her out.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  You know, maybe it's, maybe it's the business that failed and somebody else is asking you about business advice. Give them some advice. Be honest. Tell them what you know, what you don't know, what you learned, what gaps are there that somebody else might need to help them with. Be honest, sure, but reach out with a friend. You know, write, write the first page of that business plan again. Be present with your wife in a specific way that maybe you stopped being present with after, after she decided to hurt you in one way or the other.

• 33:07Speaker 00

  But one step, just take it on purpose, one step with complete knowledge that actually it might hurt again. You might get kicked in the dick again, guys. But that's the teaching. Strong backs, calloused hands, bruised hearts. We already know how to build, but that bruised heart is what separates the men who are actually in the arena and those just chirping at you from the sidelines safely, comfortably, sitting in their white robes, eating chips and salsa or popcorn or Cracker Jacks or whatever, whatever it is people eat in the, in the cheap seats and just mocking you while they do nothing.

• 33:48Speaker 00

  Their arms are crossed, they're critiquing everyone else who's bleeding, telling you you're a loser.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  Roosevelt wasn't talking to that group. He had nothing to say to them, as should you and me. He was talking to you.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  It's the man with dust on his face. He's already deciding, I'm going to go back in.

• 34:10Speaker 00

  I had a coach when I was playing football in high school. And he said, there's a difference between being hurt and being injured. And I'll never forget that. You're always going to be bruised and beat up and banged up. Your fingers are going to hurt. Your muscles are going to hurt. They're going to be a little strained in this or that, or your neck's going to be kinked. That's not an injury. It's just being a little hurt. There's a difference. And guys know the difference and get back into the game. So that's it for today. That's your Friday field notes. And if this is something that hits you, I would encourage you to join us inside the Aaron Council. We're doing a, what we call a war room. So we're actually going through some of these concepts on Wednesday, August 19th.

• 34:53Speaker 00

  And I'd really, really encourage you to be there. We're going to talk about some of these issues. We're going to talk about the systems that you need to build up resilience, to build up consistency and to build up results in your life. So if you're interested in that, head to orderofman.com/warroom, orderofman.com/warroom, all one word. And you can get registered for August 19th at 8:00 PM Eastern. Guys, just remember, don't, don't listen to the, to the guys chirping in the cheap seats. That's, those guys want you to fit. They don't, they actually don't even want you to fail. They don't care about you. So they don't care if you fail or lose. What they want is they want an excuse for themselves to fail.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  It's not personal. When people say it's not personal, it isn't. Now they'll dress it up as personal because they know exactly what buttons to push. And if anything, it's personal towards themselves, not towards you. Remember that and get back in the fight. Strong backs, calloused hands, bruised hearts. Guys, we'll be back next week for our interview. Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be? We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.