Vanessa Hudgens ON: Manifesting Love & Finding Confidence From Within

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on Calm Jay Shetty sits down with Vanessa Hudgens to talk about manifestation & importance of nurturing your inner child. As we grow up, we always think that we should start being serious in life just because we are adults. But we should always remember that inner child in us, so have fun and believe in magic - protect the child in you. Vanessa Hudgens is an American actress, singer, entrepreneur, and producer. After making her feature film debut in Thirteen, she rose to fame portraying Gabriella Montez in the High School Musical film series, which brought her significant mainstream success. Since the release of her studio albums and the High School Musical franchise, Vanessa has focused on her acting career. She has appeared in films like Bandslam, Beastly, Sucker Punch, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Spring Breakers, The Princess Switch, Second Act, and Bad Boys for Life. She also launched her beverage business, Caliwater, a line of cactus water, and her own skincare brand, Know Beauty. Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 05:12 How she discovered ZenZone 08:18 Spirituality & mindfulness has always been a part of her life 13:15 Importance of having & nurturing your inner child 15:23 How she navigated a very tough industry 17:35 Experience that gave her a sense of groundedness 19:56 Witchcraft and rituals 22:35 How rituals & manifestations work for her 25:29 Identifying if you are with the right person 28:35 Importance of asking the uncomfortable questions 31:24 Good things come when you least expect them 35:18 Having the confidence on doing things alone 40:17 How she remains present 43:08 Her passion for collaborating with people 46:24 Her creative & intuitive works 50:12 How she balances & prioritizes different things in life 56:21 Vanessa’s Final Five Episode Resources Vanessa Hudgens | Instagram Vanessa Hudgens | Twitter Vanessa Hudgens | Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 2:13Jay Shetty?

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• 2:55Jay Shetty?

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• 3:04Speaker 01

  It's taken so many years of like reflection and growth and like doing all the uncomfortable work to shape me into the person that I am. And I look back and I'm like, I'm so grateful for all of it. But like by leaning in and like not putting them into like a storage unit in my mind, but like actually processing them and like growing and evolving from it has allowed me to like have confidence in myself because I'm just like, I know that I'm enough.

• 3:40Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now you know that I love sitting down with friends, people that I've connected with, people that I share space and energy with on this podcast. But sometimes something funny happens. I have a guest on who I feel I know. I've connected with them several times digitally. Virtually, but never physically. And then finally, when I get to experience their energy in person, I just go, yeah, this is my kind of person. And today's guest is someone that feels just like that. Her name, of course, is Vanessa Hudgens, an American actress, singer, entrepreneur, and producer.

• 4:25Jay Shetty?

  After making her feature film debut in thirteen, she rose to fame portraying Gabriella Montez in the High School Musical film series, which brought her significant mainstream success. Since the release of her studio albums and the High School Musical franchise, Vanessa has focused on her acting career. She's appeared in films like Band Slam, Beastly, Sucker Punch, Journey 2, The Mysterious Island, Spring Breakers, The Princess Switch, Second Act, and Bad Boys for Life. She also launched her beverage business, Cali Water, a line of cactus water, and her own skincare brand, No Beauty.

• 5:04Jay Shetty?

  Welcome to the show, my dear friend and becoming a deeper friend, Vanessa Hudgens and our beautiful Dala.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Thank you from me and both Dala. You're so good at this. Wow.

• 5:19Jay Shetty?

  No, I just, I meant all of it. You've had this, you know, I actually, I grew up watching High School Musical because of my sister. So I have a sister that's four and a half years younger than me.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:28Jay Shetty?

  She loves you, loves High School Musical. So I watched it through her lens.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that. A connecting thing for the two of you.

• 5:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly, exactly. And then obviously, we connected through Joe and our Zen Zone.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, which is so funny.

• 5:42Jay Shetty?

  Which is just amazing what Joe started and built.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  It's so incredible. I'm like, if it wasn't for that, I never would have met Cole.

• 5:49Jay Shetty?

  I know. Yes, and that, and then that.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  And I'm like, hallelujah.

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  So you are officially giving me and Joe the credit now?

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Yes, completely. Actually, it wouldn't be a thing if it wasn't for you guys.

• 6:02Jay Shetty?

  For Joe, for Joe. Joe, you can take all the credit. You deserve it. Dala, I just do want to acknowledge, you are the first ever dog to appear on, on a purpose.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  She, she jumped up here and seated herself like a human.

• 6:17Jay Shetty?

  I know. I'm so grateful she's here. She has such a beautiful energy too, and I'm so happy she's with us.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  She's a little lady. I was told that she was a French girl in a past life.

• 6:26Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's very cool.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  I know.

• 6:28Jay Shetty?

  Well, this is the thing, Vanessa, that, you know, I think when People view you from afar. Of course, you have this amazing career. You do an incredible job, whether you're hosting, whether you're acting, whether you're starring. I thought you were awesome in Bad Boys for Life.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 6:42Jay Shetty?

  I love the movie, of course, you know, just how your roles and those characters evolved into the franchise was amazing. You're doing so many incredible things with Cali Water, and I know we've got so many other things to talk about. But I think for me, what got me deeply intrigued in you and wanting this conversation with you is the conversations we had through Zen Zone. And so for those of you who don't know what Zen Zone is, this is something that Joe Jonas had the idea for at the beginning of the pandemic. And you can tell me how you heard about it, because I don't know how.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  I'll tell you my side.

• 7:13Jay Shetty?

  So Joe reached out to me and he said to me that we did this meditation as part of a a charity event for the We Foundation, and I was asked to teach meditation. Me and Joe had never met before. We were on this live. I lead this meditation and Joe said he had a great time. We got introduced over text. He texted me and said, hey, we're doing, we're getting together with my friends this Saturday. It's the pandemic. I'd love for you to teach a meditation. I was like, sure. I thought we'd do it once. We've now done it every week for 75 weeks. We've had a bit of a hiatus for the last couple of months.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:45Jay Shetty?

  And he would just invite his friends and I hadn't even met him, let alone everyone. That's where I met you.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:52Jay Shetty?

  And for anyone who doesn't know, I lead a meditation, but then I open it out to a beautiful group of people to reflect, share their insights, and we did this every week during the pandemic. And when you'd come on and you'd talk and share your reflection, I was just like, I had no idea that Vanessa had this like intentional, mindful practice in her life. And I was so, that was so endearing and intriguing, but tell us about how you discovered Zen Zone.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Me and Alexandra Shipp were both working on Tic Tic Boom.

• 8:23Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  And we like had the rehearsal space and then we had to shut down production because of COVID and locking down and everything. And when we finally got back to it, it was in September, like pre-vaccine. So we were in like a bubble. But we, she was like, I've been doing this meditation. I think that you would really enjoy it. And I'm like, so down. Love a meditation. And I got on there and I was just like, oh my God, this is so beautiful. And your meditation that you led was so. So like grounding and centering and just like fulfilling for my soul. And I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. And then I remember I got added to the group chat.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  And then we got sent the the zoom for the next zoom. Everyone's sending confirmations of himself, like Joe's sending one, Wilmer sends one, I send one. And then I thought someone was making a joke by sending a baseball player sliding onto a base and lifting his head and going like.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  So I was like, hi, and responded in all caps, hi. And then I got on the zoom and Alex was sitting next to me. And I remember seeing Cole and just being like, who is that? And she's like, I don't know. And then like, he smiled and then I was like, who is that? She's like, I don't know. And I found like his name and then like found him on Instagram and sent follow. And and then I was like, oh, he's the baseball player. Hilarious, hilarious. Well, I already shot my shot, so he knows. And then later I come to find out that like he was watching me hit Alex. And he was like, there's either like something on my face or like this girl hates me or like, I don't know, but he could like see me.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Because it's like meditation, everyone's like sitting and like so still. And I'm here like slapping Alex, like losing my mind. Um, but it's been so beautiful. Like I I love the practice so much and it's so, it's so nice having you there, leading the charge and and just like feeling so safe in this space to like reflect and and to hear how different things affects each other and like listening to each other. And the the reflection is so conducive to growth. So it's just like been so beautiful. I'm so grateful of it.

• 10:46Jay Shetty?

  You you you're genuinely so kind. I really appreciate those beautiful words, but I I find it fascinating that this beautiful relationship for you as well, we'll talk about that. But I'm surprised we haven't yet had one. So Joe also comes up with funny Zen names for every episode. So I think we've had. Sendaya, we've had, uh, I mean, there's so many I'll have to look through, but we haven't had a Vanessa Hudson. We haven't done that. We haven't done that yet. I'll have to throw that out to him as an option for the next one.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  That's hilarious.

• 11:17Jay Shetty?

  He hasn't done that yet.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  No.

• 11:19Jay Shetty?

  But, but when did, when I, when I heard your reflections, I was like, okay, Vanessa's been in this space for a long time. Like spirituality, whatever you call it, and I love to hear it through your language. I was like, oh, she, she's an evolved being. This is something she has invested in for many years before this. This is not her first meditation. This is part of her life. When did any of these ideas get introduced to you and how do they exist in your world? I'm genuinely fascinated because I don't think I know.

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I feel like I've always been a meditative person. I've, I remember, I used to live in San Diego and I, my parents would drive me up to LA all the time for auditions. And it's a long drive. You know, it's like three and a half hours. Like, and I'm young. I'm probably like eight years old, nine years old. And I remember one time just sitting with the window down, like feeling the breeze on my face, just like clear mind staring out. And my dad being like, what are you thinking about? And I was like, literally nothing. And then I think that as I got older, that moment for some reason would come back to me.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  And I was like, oh man, like, am I stupid? Like, does that mean that I have nothing going on in my mind? And then as I continued to evolve, the more that I realized that was a state of Zen, a state of peace. And like meditation practice is something that has naturally just like come for me. I feel like I started actually getting introduced to it when I was probably 16. I was in Brazil. Um, this was like after High School Musical had come out and me and Zac Efron were dating. And we went to this island like in Brazil somewhere and it was a magazine.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  And they were like, we can offer you yoga classes if you want. And I was like, I've never done that. Like, I'd love to try. I'm always down to try new things. And I remember it was like outside under this canopy of trees. And it was like the first time that I feel like I had a mindful practice. Um, where I was like aware of what I was actually doing. And I just became hooked. I remember I was like, straight off the bat, I was like, I think I need to become a yoga instructor. I think that's just something that I need to do now. Literally, I was like, I'm sold. And then I think that like, that really led to like mindfulness and like practice and. And then when did meditation actually come into play?

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Honestly, probably Deepak Chopra? Yeah, Deepak's great. Yeah, I feel like I came across like an audio something of his on meditations. And I remember doing that and just being like, oh, wow, there's like so much here. And like noticing how it affected my everyday life and just my state of mind.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  And yeah, it's like, I feel like the sit down to actually meditate doesn't fully happen that often. Which is why I love our Zen Zone, because like it gives me a reason to actually do it. But the, the, the state of mindfulness, I think, is something that is carried into so many different aspects of, of spirituality. And spirituality itself has been like such an evolving journey for me. I mean, I remember I was, how old was I? I was filming Journey to the Mysterious Island. And I was on the big island where they shot Jurassic Park. And so it's just like beautiful rolling mountains. It's like stunning.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  And I remember thinking to myself like, oh, like I am spiritual because I, I, I don't. Can't like relate anymore to religion practices that were instilled with me as a child. But like, I feel so much and I know that I'm a part of something bigger and I feel like vibration of the land. And I just feel connected to spirit.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  And then that itself has evolved so much. And like, I feel like I'm back at that place where I'm like, I am very, very spiritual. I, I take time to connect to my spirit, but also spirit around me. And I make sure I take time to connect to, to nature. And I give praise when magic happens because it happens all the time. And I feel like it's so important to acknowledge it and to give it gratitude. Because then it starts coming into your life so much more. It just, it like, it's really insane once you start acknowledging them. How like, it's, it's an abundance of, of magic.

• 16:12Jay Shetty?

  Wow, wow, that's contagious. I'm literally hearing you say that and I'm like, that is so infectious.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  It's just, it's so true though. And like, it's so beautiful because then you're filling your life with like this, these moments of wonder.

• 16:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  And like, I think that's so important as an adult, because as children, we have that all the time.

• 16:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  But like, as you grow up, you kind of forget how important it is to have that.

• 16:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  I'm like such a big kid.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  That like, she's always a child at heart.

• 16:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  But like, wonderment, I think, is something that's so important for the soul.

• 16:46Jay Shetty?

  I, I couldn't agree more. I, I love that and I think it's, when I think about wonder and childlikeness, it's the same as what I feel my wife's brought back into my life.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Love that.

• 16:57Jay Shetty?

  And I felt for so long, I started to take life too seriously, or I was very, I was very focused and.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, man needs a good woman to bring him back.

• 17:05Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, a thousand percent, a thousand percent. And my wife has just brought this like childlike energy back into my life. And it's something you have to protect.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 17:15Jay Shetty?

  I feel like the childlike energy is something you have to nurture and protect in yourself. In the people you love.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 17:21Jay Shetty?

  In the people around you.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  I mean, even your inner child, like, I remember that being like a, a big, big wake up moment for me. I, I think it was in like Larry Moss's acting classes. I was doing like one of his intensive workshops and he talks about how important it is to like nurture your inner child. Because there, we all have that. We all have that like little boy or girl inside of us that's like kinda scared at times, but is like so explorative and like has wonderment. But you have to nurture that. And if you don't, like, it gets neglected. And you can't neglect your inner child.

• 17:59Jay Shetty?

  Definitely not, definitely not. I mean, do you think that's what's, I mean, for yourself, like, you've been in the industry a long time now.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:07Jay Shetty?

  Since you were extremely young. And I feel like you've been great at like navigating it with grace and pivoting and figuring things out. And obviously from the time we've been getting to know each other through Zen Zone and even today, I can tell that there's so much thoughtfulness and so much clarity for you. Do you think that nurturing that inner child is what has helped you navigate a very tough industry or what, what has that been?

• 18:34Speaker 01

  I feel like, I feel like that's definitely part of it.

• 18:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 18:38Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Um, because it allows me to stay extraordinarily passionate about my loves, which is like everything, you know, like in my work and in my life and in the way I spend my time. But I think the thing that honestly has kept me going is accepting change and evolving and, and knowing that evolution is like a positive thing and, and leaning into the like scary.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Scary things that like could hurt me and and like just constantly reevaluating what it is to be a human in this experience and like who do I want to be? Because like that's genuinely like a choice. You like have, we have so many choices every single day on like how we build our our character, how we present ourselves to the world. And like, I feel like I've had multiple moments where I've had to like really look at myself and reassess and say, what kind of woman do I want to be?

• 19:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Um, and like, who am I truly? Like, what what is my core? What is my, what are my values? Um, and I feel like it's just allowed me to feel really confident and strong in who I am as a person. Cause I think that that's, that's where a lot of people have difficulties in Hollywood because you end up like morphing into different people because it's a, it's a tough grind, but.

• 20:17Jay Shetty?

  It is, it is because people morph into the roles they play.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 20:21Jay Shetty?

  They morph into the role they have to play and portray.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 20:25Jay Shetty?

  They morph into the role that their manager or their agent thinks they need to be.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:29Jay Shetty?

  Or the person who came before them that they're trying to be like.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 20:33Jay Shetty?

  There's all these identities that, yeah, you're trying to morph into that it's hard to remember your own, I guess. What, what was a formative experience at a younger age that you think has uh given you a sense of groundedness as you've gone on? Were there any formative experiences uh as you grew, at any point in your childhood or early teenage years?

• 20:53Speaker 01

  I, I don't know why. I don't know if this is like actually at all relevant.

• 20:58Jay Shetty?

  The first is the best, the first is the best, yeah.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Um, I, I was the kid that loved playing in the dirt.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  You know, like, I was always the kid that was like in the garden, like grabbing like pieces of of plants and like smushing them together and like grabbing the flowers and like doing like little collages in the dirt. Like, I've always like been, I feel like I've always felt very connected to earth. Um, and I look back at it now and I'm just like, it's so funny because now I'm, I I like love practicing like witchcraft and having rituals and and like playing and being a part of earth and connecting with it is such a big part of it. And I'm just like, oh, wow. She was always there.

• 21:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  She was always there. She was always playing in the dirt. Um, but yeah, like, I I feel like I also was raised in a way where like my parents didn't have a lot. My dad was a firefighter. My mom was from the Philippines, like came out to the stage when she was twenty four with my dad. Um, and it was like the first man she'd ever even been with, like first guy she ever kissed, like crazy. Um, but I was raised very modestly. So I think that like that definitely shaped me into who I am because I'm very mindful about like where I spend my money and and like what I'm doing with it and like, I, but like it also I think makes me work harder and want to do the work myself, do the dirty work. Hey, what's bringing it back to the dirt?

• 22:33Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  But yeah, like because that's just like my my character. That's how I was raised.

• 22:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's that's beautiful to hear. And I I'm gonna ask you now to define what witchcraft is for the, you know, for those who may not be aware, and and those rituals, because I think as you say those words, I I'd love for you to extrapolate them because I've seen so, I've seen you post when you get new tattoos and like, and and it's cool, but I would love, I'd love for you to explain that.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 22:59Jay Shetty?

  To those that don't know.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  Um, I think like being a witch genuinely is like so many different things for each person. To me, it's it's a mindfulness for sure. Um, it's connecting to your elements. Um, it's about

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Understanding the fact that everything is energetic and we can push and pull things. Um, if we set our mind to it and ask for it, um, it's a lot of manifesting, which I love. Um, and rituals are like, I love like a full moon ritual. Where I'll like sage my space and like cleanse my energy and my aura. And then like ask my angels and my ancestors and my spirit guides to be there with me and to help carry out my message. Um, and then like honestly, writing things down on some bay leaves and burning them. It's really exciting because it burns and like it's really, it's like, it really catches flame.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. It feels magical. Um, but like it's like connecting to earth and like to spirit and, and like tapping in. Yeah. Because you, I feel like you really can. Mm hmm.

• 24:15Jay Shetty?

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• 25:00Jay Shetty?

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• 25:38Jay Shetty?

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• 26:24Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 26:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I mean, I love hearing that because I think when people hear the word witchcraft

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 26:34Jay Shetty?

  or witches, we have a very dated view

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yes, stigmatized view of where you hear a witch and like people are like, burn her at the stake.

• 26:42Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, and I mean, I grew up in London where one of the attractions to visit as a tourist was the London dungeons.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:51Jay Shetty?

  And so you'd go to see these London dungeons and they would show you how women, and mainly women, who are wrongly accused of being witches. And of course witches in the stigmatized or the negative sense of we've seen portrayed in movies and things like that.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:06Jay Shetty?

  And you'd see how they'd be burned and the kind of dungeons that they had to stay in and the states they had to stay in. And now, obviously, when you say the word, you're looking at it from like the good witch, like, you know, like the witch of manifestation

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 27:19Jay Shetty?

  and joy and kindness.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  I feel like that's the modern witch.

• 27:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes. And redefining that word is so important because

• 27:25Speaker 01

  It really is.

• 27:26Jay Shetty?

  language, I think, today is so much of the reason we have disagreements.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  100%.

• 27:30Jay Shetty?

  And one of the reasons why we don't understand each other.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:33Jay Shetty?

  And when you started explaining what a witch is, I'm like, yeah, that's like, what's the witch in?

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Glinda.

• 27:38Jay Shetty?

  Yes, exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking of. Yeah, yeah, you read my mind. That's it. And I was like, yeah, she was a witch and she's called a witch in the movie.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  She is.

• 27:46Jay Shetty?

  But when you think about it, the witch you remember is not her, right?

• 27:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 27:49Jay Shetty?

  And so it's so fascinating when you think about it from that way. What if? I love those rituals you just walked us through. When you're doing those rituals or when you've built those practices up. What has given you strength to believe that they have an impact? Is it something you feel? Is it something you've heard? Is it, is it a connection? Like, how, how do you go, yes, this works for me? This matters in my life?

• 28:11Speaker 01

  I feel like it's such an intuitive thing.

• 28:14Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  And like I said, I, I was the little girl playing in the dirt, like mushing up herbs. And it does, it feels, it feels really grounding and connecting to me. And like, I've manifested for years and like, i- if you're very clear and intentional on what you want, you have a much better chance at getting it than if you weren't.

• 28:37Jay Shetty?

  Can you tell us a manifestation story? Can you tell us one that you feel is worth sharing?

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, like, even like Cole, like, I, I was very clear, very intentional about what it is exactly.

• 28:50Jay Shetty?

  Tell us what you're just, I don't know.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  It's like, I was like, I want someone who, oh man, I wish I had, I literally have like a list.

• 28:59Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Um, it was, I want someone who loves themselves wholeheartedly. Um, someone who understands the importance of like having a good time. Someone who has like the right priorities in life, you know, like has the same fundamentals as me. Um, which is like, you live, you don't, what is it? You don't live to work, no.

• 29:28Jay Shetty?

  You don't live to work.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  You work to live. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like someone who understands like the importance of life outside of work. There's a whole list. But literally when I met Cole, I was like, you literally check all my boxes.

• 29:44Jay Shetty?

  What I love about your list though, and that's why I asked you because I, I expected that your list, that is the most mature, refined list I have ever heard of.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 29:56Jay Shetty?

  Because, because most lists do not go that deep. Like that, that is a very genuinely, and I, and I'm not saying this to flatter you at all. I'm genuinely saying it because I hear a lot of lists in my coaching work and when I'm with clients and, and over the years, people that I've worked with and lists, those are all like incredible attributes, which show your self-awareness of who you are and what you need in your life.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:22Jay Shetty?

  But they're also not so specifically defined that.

• 30:29Jay Shetty?

  It's kind of very difficult that that exists.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Totally, totally.

• 30:33Jay Shetty?

  If that makes sense.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:34Jay Shetty?

  It's not like, I want this and I want that and he should have this.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:37Jay Shetty?

  And it's not stuff about he should have.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 30:39Jay Shetty?

  It's about his mindset and his belief system. Walk us through, how do you assess? And assess is the wrong word because in a relationship, you're not assessing someone. How do you engage with someone in a way to know that those things exist within them? And I'm asking you this for yourself.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:58Jay Shetty?

  Because I find that sometimes people may make a list or they have a list. And first of all, I would like to remind anyone, if you are going to make a list, think about Vanessa's list. And just think about how, how, I'm trying to find the right word to define your list. I would say that it is extremely mindset based and it's extremely an approach to life.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 31:22Jay Shetty?

  You're looking with someone who has a specific approach to life.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Exactly, yeah.

• 31:25Jay Shetty?

  It's not that they have a specific life.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  That's very true, yeah.

• 31:28Jay Shetty?

  Right?

• 31:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:29Jay Shetty?

  Does that make sense?

• 31:29Speaker 01

  100%.

• 31:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and so how did you, you know, ascertain that Cole had some of these things? Because I think what often happens is when we get attracted to someone or we feel a sense of infatuation or we feel some chemistry or a spark with someone, often that ability to ascertain whether we're really going to be a good match goes out the window.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 31:51Jay Shetty?

  How are you able to hold both? Because I think we do need attraction and chemistry, of course we do.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, 100%.

• 31:56Jay Shetty?

  But at the same time, you're saying, well, I was able to assess that he does have certain traits.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I was in an eight-year-long relationship before him. So after that, I was like, okay, we're getting serious. Like, we are going to make a list of things that I need, like genuinely. Like, not want, but actually need. And with some of it, it was being very straightforward with like my questions as to like.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  How he goes about life. Um, and then in other ways, it was just like really observing him and like genuinely his approach to life. Um, like he, he has like an infectious spirit. And I'm like, that is something that is so beautiful and so wonderful. And I'm like, I, I see myself in that as well. But like, we just like had the same, the same spirit. And I think that like, straight off the bat, I was very forthright with like, what it is that I want in a relationship. And like, I was like, cool. So you're down. You, you're into those things as well. Love that. But like, just being very straightforward, like you plan on getting married one day, like you plan on having kids, you like kids.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  What's your relationship with your parents? Like, what's your relationship with your friends? How do you enjoy your work? Like, everything, just like diving in because like, if you don't, like, those things get lost in the shuffle. And then you end up investing time on people that you shouldn't.

• 33:28Jay Shetty?

  Is that date one?

• 33:30Speaker 01

  That might have been date two. Might have been date two.

• 33:34Jay Shetty?

  I, I am so happy hearing you say that. I, and I just want everyone to know that while we're having this conversation, I do not know this story in depth, the way Vanessa's explaining it. So this is also my first reaction to it. I am so happy hearing you say that. Like it, it gives me so much assurance and confidence in what I hope people will do to find love in their life.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:53Jay Shetty?

  Uh, I did the same with Ravi. We had the same conversations. We talked about children. We talked about our values. We talked about our beliefs. We talked about expectations. I was very clear with Ravi of the man that I think I am and the man that I didn't want to be. Uh, I was clear about what my aspirations and priorities were and what I wouldn't be able to prioritize.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 34:14Jay Shetty?

  And it was uncomfortable to say those things because you're scared that like, well, maybe this person's going to run away.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 34:20Jay Shetty?

  When they hear what I'm actually like.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:22Jay Shetty?

  But then if they stay.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 34:24Jay Shetty?

  Then they actually signed on for that.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  And it's like you give, like my, my sister actually does a podcast as well. And I was like, listening to it the other day and she was like, it's so important to like, tell your friends or your partner if something's bothering you. Because then you give them the opportunity to adjust. Like, otherwise they don't know.

• 34:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Shout out Stella.

• 34:45Jay Shetty?

  Shout out Stella, what's your podcast going?

• 34:47Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 34:48Jay Shetty?

  That's crazy, okay, listen to that episode. What was the episode about? Was it about this?

• 34:53Speaker 01

  What was that one about? Just like friends and like, you know, feeling FOMO. It was FOMO.

• 35:00Jay Shetty?

  No, because it's, it's also just like, I know that we got a message. I think you sent it to my team saying, can I bring Dala today?

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:07Jay Shetty?

  And, and I love that you said that and I'm so glad she came. Because I would have been so sad if I, as a friend, it's like, if you, if you felt that, but then you didn't tell me.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally, totally.

• 35:17Jay Shetty?

  Know and then like, you just gotta, you just gotta know, like, and I'm so happy she's here and I'm so happy to meet her and,

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:24Jay Shetty?

  And when you told me the reason, you're like, I've been traveling and I haven't seen her for, I'm like, that is so beautiful. Like, why would you not? But we're so, we're so scared

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:32Jay Shetty?

  Of showing that side of ourselves to someone of being like, this is what I need or this is what I want.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Honoring our truths.

• 35:38Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  I think like, it's so easy to disregard our truths when you like, have thought and you're like, ugh, like, I wish that this would happen and like, but no, like, it, it shouldn't matter, like, it's, it's okay, it's fine, I don't really care. And like, you don't honor your truth. And so I feel like it's something that you have to be actually mindful about and to like, really listen to your intuition and like your inner voice, your inner child. Like, you really have to like honor all of yourself because if you're not, then you're suppressing yourself and then it's gonna seem okay for someone else to suppress you because you're doing it to yourself.

• 36:14Jay Shetty?

  Yes. Wow, that is, that's so true.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:17Jay Shetty?

  That is so true that.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  And then that's just like a toxic, toxic, starts off toxic.

• 36:23Jay Shetty?

  And that's the point, right? It's like, if you plant a toxic seed.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 36:26Jay Shetty?

  Like, that's what's gonna grow.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 36:28Jay Shetty?

  And it's really hard to then switch to a rose bush or, you know, to grow a beautiful tree or plant or whatever it is, like. I I wonder then, how do you then navigate? Obviously, when you do that, when you are like, well, here's what I'm looking for. And here's what's important to me. How do you then navigate it when you don't necessarily align or agree? How have you dealt with that? Because I think that's another healthy thing to think about. I think we often have this romantic view of manifestation.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 36:55Jay Shetty?

  And I don't think that's what you're suggesting. But I think a lot of people have this romantic view that when you're clear, you get exactly what you want, the way you want it. I don't think that's what you're saying.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no. That's definitely not the case as well. Like, I think that like, everything does come back.

• 37:09Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Not always in the way that you expect it to.

• 37:13Jay Shetty?

  Exactly.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Not always at the time that you want it to. But it always does in one form or the other. And I like, I truly believe that. And I like see that happening because I'll, sometimes I'll ask for something and I'm like, oh, my gosh, that's so funny. That's not like how I expected it to come. Like, like, you know, like, on our Zoom, like, finding love on Zoom.

• 37:33Jay Shetty?

  Finding love on Zoom on a tiny little like screen.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Not like at all what I was like expecting at all. But like, it's, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Um, so I, I feel like it always, it always comes back around. Um, but like the mindfulness is like so important.

• 37:50Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm. Yeah, I, I mean, I, I love hearing about it and I can't wait to see you both together. And I can't wait to finally hang out with Cole. Who, by the way, for anyone who doesn't know, he'll join the meditation when he's like on the field. Like, he'll be like in the stands. He'll be, you know, walking to a game, like he'll be driving to a game, whatever it is. And he's, he's always on. And I think there's so much to be said for that as well, to find people in places of similar values.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  100%.

• 38:17Jay Shetty?

  I, I've always been a great encourager of that is that you're going to find people when you're doing things that you're both passionate about and you're not going there to date like.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  It's so funny. I literally was on the phone with my friend Vince this morning and I was thinking about it. And I was like, it's so funny because I feel like all my best relationships have like such an interesting like story as to how we met, like my friend Vince, who I was on the phone with. We met in a yoga class.

• 38:43Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  And he's like, one of my best friends. My other best friend, Gigi, we met like in Bali. Because I was with there with Oakley, like doing a surf thing, even though I'm not a surfer. But I'm like, you know, I'm all about like trying new things and having new experiences. Cause I feel like it builds character and it's also just like a great time.

• 39:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course, yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  But like, it was like one of those moments as well. And then like me and Gigi sat across from each other at the table. And we like locked eyes and we were like, I see you. I see you in a way that's like different. Like my soul sees you.

• 39:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Um, and like, it's just so many of my relationships. I'm like, it's just so funny how like you put yourself into the right place. In in a place of love and you will attract it.

• 39:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, definitely. And this is Gigi you do workouts with, right?

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:28Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  Me and Gigi do a lot of things together. We got a lot of things in the work during quarantine. We like really put our minds together and we're like, let's be creative. Like, let's, let's keep the ball rolling. And we like, we developed an animated show. We developed like a, a reality show for ourselves.

• 39:47Jay Shetty?

  Oh, very cool.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  And we like wrote a feature with our friend and we were just like, yeah.

• 39:52Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  I know, but like all because we sat across from each other in Bali.

• 39:57Jay Shetty?

  That's incredible. And I love that that's a recurring pattern in your life.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Oh, completely.

• 40:00Jay Shetty?

  That, that the deepest relationships you have, whether it's Vince or Gigi, as you said, and now Cole, that they've come from these places where you weren't looking for that.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:09Jay Shetty?

  And so I think we often hear this idea of like, you don't have to look for love. And that's not what we're saying. What we're saying is that you often find it in a place of mutual value.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  When you're loving yourself and honoring yourself.

• 40:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's, that's the key. That's exactly it. And, and so much happens when you spend time in places of purpose.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 40:28Jay Shetty?

  Like, I feel like when you're going there for a purpose-based reason.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 40:33Jay Shetty?

  You're more likely to have this synergy happen with a human.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  The amount of stuff that happened to me when I went to Paris for Fashion Week on my own was like, just why? I felt like I had tea for, for months. But like, it was just so cool because I'm like, Paris Fashion Week is something that I wanted to go to for a long time. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go on my own because like, it'll like, it'll really like put me in there.

• 40:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Um, and I, and I love that. Like, I love those solo moments where. I I'm just like out there in the wilderness on my own and like you meet people and like connect with people and I'm like some of my favorite memories that I've had like have been because I've gone places on my own.

• 41:18Jay Shetty?

  Wow, what's given you that? I I love hearing that because I'm the kind of person, so Rudi's been away for three months and we haven't seen each other.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 41:25Jay Shetty?

  I miss it, yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, I hate that so much.

• 41:27Jay Shetty?

  And she's coming back in a month and I miss it. So it'll be four months since we've seen each other. And I cannot wait. I'm about to throw her a party when she comes back and like feel like, you know, we're gonna go away and all the rest of it, catch up and make make up for a lost time. But I find that I'm the kind of person that will take myself out for a three course meal.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:43Jay Shetty?

  And like go away and go out or whatever it is. What has given you the confidence in doing things alone? Because I think that is such a healthy habit.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 41:53Jay Shetty?

  I'm not saying that people should spend all the time alone and not have friends.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 41:56Jay Shetty?

  But how have you developed that habit? Is it just by practice? Is it just by throwing yourself out there?

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:02Jay Shetty?

  Now it sounds like it's something you intentionally do, like Paris Fashion Week.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:05Jay Shetty?

  I'm sure you could have taken anyone you wanted to take, but you went on your own.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, I feel like my first solo trip was when I was like, it was right after I did a stint of like really heavy emotionally demanding movies. I think Gimme Shelter was the last one of that.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  And I came home and I like genuinely did not know who Vanessa was. I had like gotten so off on becoming this other person and like genuinely changed my mindset, the way that I looked, I put on like 20 pounds, cut off all my hair, like all the things that made me me were not there anymore. And I was like, I need to do something because I'm like scared. Because I don't know who I am. And I was like, okay, we're gonna go on a yoga retreat. My, my publicist at the time was like, I, there's this retreat, they're doing it the four seasons. It was like a practice and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna like go on my own.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Because that scares me and I was very much in that place of like, do the things that scare you. Because you will evolve, like you're forced to. Um, and I was like, you know, like a yoga retreat in Hawaii, like that gives me an excuse to be in Hawaii. But also like have something to do and like know that I'll be around people because like filming as well as an adult, like when I hit eighteen, I would go off to film things all the time and I would be on my own. And so like if I wanted to go to dinner, like a lot of times I would just go by myself and like bring a book and like I definitely would have those moments where I'm like looking around and like kinda trying to like lock eyes and engage with anyone.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Um, preferably would sit at the bar so I could like talk to the bartender because like I love, I love people. Like I love, I love just like talking to people.

• 44:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but you start using a different part of your brain when you do that, like you start using a different part of your energy where it's like, oh, I'm gonna see if I can make something out of nothing.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 44:17Jay Shetty?

  That you lose as we get older.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  That's very true.

• 44:19Jay Shetty?

  Because most of your life is surrounded by the same people, same work people, same life people. And so like when you're like, oh, I'm trying to talk to the bartender, I'm trying to lock, even the idea of locking eyes with someone random.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh, it's my favorite thing.

• 44:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but it's like.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  Favorite thing. I literally will like be driving and like will like turn and just like look at people if I'm stopped at a red light and like try to like dance with people. The other day, this guy was like listening to a song, we had our windows down, he had his windows down. And me and my girlfriend were just like body rolling and like just like locking eyes, trying to make this person laugh like. It's, I, I love that. But the trip, the yoga retreat in Hawaii ended up just being like so freeing because I was just like, okay, like I'm here on my own, like I'm just gonna like talk to people that I connect with and like go from there and like genuinely forced me to stay as present as possible because I was engaging with people I know nothing about.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  I feel like that's the thing I love about talking to people that you don't know. Like you're forced to be present because it's like if you're actually trying to engage, which not everybody does.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  But then those are the people you don't need to engage with. Um. But when you find people who you can, like it's you say you're so present because you're actually listening.

• 45:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What I what I love about hearing about your life that I'm learning about you today by being present with you is just you're you are very present because you have all these beautiful memories.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 45:45Jay Shetty?

  And I find like these are not ideas in your life or they're not like just concepts that you intellectually understand. It's like I feel like your whole life is an experience.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:56Jay Shetty?

  Like you're like, oh, I went to Fashion Week because of this and I was in this place because and to have deep memories, you have to be deeply present.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 46:04Jay Shetty?

  Because otherwise you forget where you were last week or where you were even yesterday.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 46:10Jay Shetty?

  And so how have you become more present? I mean, have you practiced that or is you've been like that? Obviously, it sounds like, but it's also sounds like it's very intentional again. Like, how have you raising your presence uh when when you're in a space or in an environment? This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one hour workout to build strength, burn fat and build muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangestory.com slash onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply.

• 46:55Jay Shetty?

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• 47:33Jay Shetty?

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• 48:17Jay Shetty?

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• 48:37Speaker 01

  I think like honestly, it's come from the reflection and growth that I've done to like actually have confidence in in myself. To like, feel like I can take up as much space or as little space as I want. And knowing that I have that choice. I've always been a very present person and I think that I've positioned myself now, like it's taken so many years of like reflection and growth and like doing all the uncomfortable work to shape me into the person that I am. And I look back and I'm like, I'm so grateful for all of it.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  So grateful for all the icky times, because there's a lot of icky times in life. But like by leaning in and like not putting them into like a storage unit in my mind, but like actually processing them and like growing and evolving from it has allowed me to like have confidence in myself, because I'm just like, I know that I'm enough, like, and I'm like, I, I know that like my point on life is beautiful. And I know that like what I want to contribute to, to people and to the world is, is beautiful. And so I'm like, it's all good, baby. It's all good.

• 49:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that's the thing, right? Like, when you make sense of your inner world on your own.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 50:05Jay Shetty?

  It, that's where it has to click.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  One hundred percent, because if it clicks for me, then like, it's okay if it doesn't click for everybody. But like, I know that like, I'm locked in.

• 50:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, if you know, I always say to people, like, if you have a decision or a choice you wanna make, and if you know why you're doing it.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:22Jay Shetty?

  And you're clear on that, it will not bother you if other people don't understand.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 50:28Jay Shetty?

  But if you don't know why you're doing it. Then it's just like, and that's what I'm hearing from you, it's that, that that inner click has, has, has fit for you. And it sounds like during the pandemic, you were extremely innovative, collaborative. Seemed like you were doing a lot of cool stuff. We both share this in common, we both launched a different type of beverage line during the pandemic. And afterwards, you launched Cali Water, which is amazing.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:55Jay Shetty?

  Uh, and I wanna hear about, just, when, when I first saw it, I was like, cactus water, I was like, that is so unique. Like, it is so different. I didn't even, I didn't even know, and this is gonna sound really silly, but I was like, I didn't even know you could get.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Cactus water, yeah, no, totally.

• 51:10Jay Shetty?

  And I have cactus in my house, so I'm like, I had no idea.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Like, if I cut you, can I drink you?

• 51:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. But walk us through some of the, some of the, and that, that's one of them, I'm sure there's plenty of others, but where did those ideas and innovations start? Because that requires such a, a different mindset. And it sounds like you had this space to be innovative and creative. You said you were doing work with Gigi, but you're also doing this.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  I love a collaboration.

• 51:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  I live for a collaboration, because I'm like, I know what I can bring to the table. And then you collaborate with people who knows what they can bring to the table. And it's like, you guys have fun doing it together? Yeah? Okay, go. Um, and that's literally how I feel like all my business ventures have been. Um, you know, with Cali Water, it was our friend Oliver Trina.

• 51:56Jay Shetty?

  Yes, shout out Oliver.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, who is my business partner. And like, he came to me and he was like, we should, we need to like, do something together. And he was like, there's, we could do like beverages. And he's like, there's like cactus, there's a lot, there's something there. And like, I went to New Mexico on a road trip. And was drinking prickly pear margaritas. And I was like, what is this, the heavenly nectar? And like, why do I know nothing about it?

• 52:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  And then started like researching what prickly pear is and then like realized all the health benefits. Um, and then, you know, like, we're like, okay, cool. So like, that's like a thing. There's something there. And then like him like taking the reins and putting together an incredible team to like, put together this drink and like, bring it to life. And then like me doing like the creative and like the tastings. And I'm like, nah, it's a little off. Like I need something more of this. Like maybe a little like more monk fruit or like, you know, like something, um.

• 52:55Jay Shetty?

  I love monk fruit by the way.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  Packaging. Yeah, I do too. But it's just like, it's such a fun, creative outlet for me that like, I, I really enjoy, like, it's so stimulating to me and exciting. And it's just like really cool being able to be passionate about something and then like sharing that passion with the masses.

• 53:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, it's awesome. No, I highly recommend everyone grab some because it's, I, I just love seeing people find multiple ways to express themselves.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  One hundred percent.

• 53:25Jay Shetty?

  And not being scared and not feeling limited by like, oh, I'm an actress, I should be that. Or like, I'm a this.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:32Jay Shetty?

  I'm like, but we're all just creative artists, individuals. And when we can just like paint through every single color and every single brush, there's nothing wrong with that. And, and I think it should be encouraged more. And I think often we feel limited and restricted by what we think people will think and what they will say.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, literally.

• 53:50Jay Shetty?

  And, and we stop realizing that we just have to color more and paint more and, and get out there more. Is there something you do to tap into more creativity or innovation? Is there any habits or any rituals you have? Or is that also same connected with doing the intuitive work?

• 54:05Speaker 01

  It's literally all intuitive, I feel. I, and, and it's like, it's, it's the magic thing, I think, that like when I'm doing things that I'm inspired to do and I honor those inspirations. Um, the thrill and the fulfillment that comes along with it is like.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  What I imagine it's like to have kids. You know, it's like because you're putting like such a vulnerable piece of of uniquely you into something. And then and then sharing it. And so it's like, it's such a vulnerable thing. Um, like I I came up with like a a reality show for for me and Gigi. And I'm like, it's so funny because I like fifteen years ago would be like, I would never do a reality show. Like I am a serious actress. Um, but this this show like I I I came up with it like I birthed it from my mind. And I was just like, this is something that I love.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  And like would love to do because I feel like it would be hilarious and a great time.

• 55:11Jay Shetty?

  You guys are really funny together.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're hysterical. I'm like, we gotta have something. Um, but like also so creative and like down to what we're wearing in our show and like who we're partnered with and like just putting on the the business hat like it's it's really exciting. I'm like, she's a she's a woman, like she's making moves. Um, just because I'm like leaning into my interest and like honoring the ideas that I have rather than like pushing them down.

• 55:43Jay Shetty?

  And the show's happening?

• 55:45Speaker 01

  You know.

• 55:45Jay Shetty?

  You're making it happen. You're making it happen. Yeah.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  We're waiting on someone at the moment.

• 55:50Jay Shetty?

  It takes time.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Um, but like it's been so exciting because we've like literally gotten so many of our ducks in the row. Where we're like, this would be the dream. And then like it's falling into place and like.

• 55:59Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  It's just so nice because I'm doing it all like with people that I love.

• 56:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love hearing about ideas when they're being formed.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:07Jay Shetty?

  Because it's it's special. Like, we usually hear about like, oh, we just made the show and it's out. And then it's like, but this is the part that's so interesting because it's like, well, we did this. And now we did this. And we're waiting for this. And we're figuring this out. And I'm hoping that everyone who's listening or watching is hearing it going, oh, that's normal. Like, you know.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  Literally stems from an idea.

• 56:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  What if? What if and then like building it off of there and like that's why I love doing things with my friends because the snowballing is so real, you know, like, is that what it's called?

• 56:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and it's just like the best thing because like even like the future feature that we did like it was me, Gigi and our friend Asha, who has written for like American Horror Story and like we love American Horror Story. Um, and totally fits with the vibe of like our idea and she was like, you guys know our feature and we were like, yeah. And then we were like, okay, so what if it starts here and it's about like these four witches and like it just snowballs from there. And it's just like, it's so cool because I feel like everything that I'm doing is something that I'm like so passionate about. And like, I'm, I'm really like carving out time to like stay super engaged in everything that I'm doing and not just like taking a backseat.

• 57:21Jay Shetty?

  Well, that's what I was gonna ask you, like, how are you and, and I can see that, I mean, every idea, everything we've spoken about today, I can tell how passionate you are about that. Like it, it just comes through naturally, it's in flow, it's in your heart, it's, it's there. So that's so evident to me. As someone who I feel like I live a very similar life and that I do a lot of different things that I'm passionate about. How are you prioritizing, making time to do all of that, like what works for you? Because I'm sure there's a lot of people going, oh, wow, like, you know, Vanessa's doing a ton of stuff. I mean, she has new movies coming out, she's doing this and she's doing this and she's building this like, how, how do you make sense of doing so many different things and how do you balance it? Because you're still, you're still working out, you're still doing your, your own personal practices.

• 58:06Jay Shetty?

  How, how are you balancing and managing that all?

• 58:08Speaker 01

  I think it's about like really honoring my, my, my needs and like having a strong priority list. Um, I feel like right now I'm being very clear and intentional with my, my career. Um, in acting, uh, I've, I'm like, I'm not doing anything unless like it pushes me in a new way, challenges me in a new way, or it's with people that I can work with that I like really respect. And I know will help me evolve and grow. Um, otherwise I'm like, I only want to be doing things that like I'm producing. Because then I'm like, I have like a say on the story and like the way that it looks and like the way that it's shot.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  You know, like I can be like so much more creative to like the overall outcome of the movie. Because a lot of times, like so many things end up on the cutting room floor and like, that's fine, but you're like, you watch it and you're like, oh, they went with that take? Interesting. Um, and you've like no say over it. Yeah, and that's hard. It's hard. Yeah. It's tough. But like, I'm like, as a producer, I like can come in and like can help like build out projects. And like, I can, I can actually dream them up myself and like bring them to the table and like, find producers that I really respect and admire and like, use their minds to like snowball with and, and see how we can work together to bring it to life.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  And I just feel like it's, it's so much more fulfilling for me as an actress, to be able to be a part of that creative. Yeah. Um, which is why I'm like, one day, one day I will direct. Because I'm like, it's something that I love so much. And I'm like, my, my point of view is, I think not what a lot of people would think because they did like get to know me from High School Musical. Um, I'm like, my taste is like weird and it's trippy and it's dork sometimes. Um, so I'm like, that's something that I would love to eventually get to. But like, I have that aspect of my life. And then I have like the business side of things where I'm like making sure, I just got an assistant,

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  like for the first time. Wow. Um, cause I was like, I am too busy and I need to like honor my time and like I need help. I was just like doing everything on my own. Wow. Um, but so like I have her and I'm like, now I'm like every top of the week, I'm like, okay, we need to check in with these people, um, like set up calls and, and we'll get it done. And I make sure to check in with all the businesses, like see what they need, see where we're at. Um, and then like making sure that I have my me time, which is, is hard because I feel like the me time also funnels into like my relationship. Because that is what I want. Like I wanna be with my partner. Um, but I'm like also.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  My work, I feel, also drives my slight me time too, because I'm like, I'm, I'm here in LA. I'm not with him at the moment because I have things that I'm doing here and like, like, uh, my flat fabletics collection is coming out in April and I'm like, that is something that I like, designed myself, like another full creativity step. Um, but I'm like here and I like get to talk about it and like, I feel like it's just so, like I said, so nice to have these things that I'm like putting a lot of myself into and being able to talk about them and like, share them with others and like, hopefully that connects me with other people who are like minded as well, you know?

• 1:01:47Jay Shetty?

  Well, all I experienced from you today is this abundance, like there's an abundance of creativity in your life, there's an abundance of expression, there's also an abundance of like, genuine confidence in, in who you are and how you show up and, and everything you're doing and, and I love seeing it, like it's so fun. I, I find it so fun to observe that in someone.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:02:08Jay Shetty?

  Because I appreciate that it's taken work and that it's not something that that person was just given.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:02:14Jay Shetty?

  Uh, and so, yeah, just, just viewing you today and observing you today, I'm like, it's amazing, it's electric to, to experience that through someone.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:02:22Jay Shetty?

  And, and I congratulate you for all those aspects.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you, thank you.

• 1:02:26Jay Shetty?

  Because it's, I'm sure there's lots of people listening and watching going, oh, I can be everything I want to be.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Jay Shetty?

  I can.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  You can.

• 1:02:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  You can.

• 1:02:36Jay Shetty?

  It's okay.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:02:38Jay Shetty?

  You know, we don't have to like, we don't have to choose anymore.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:41Jay Shetty?

  You don't have to limit yourself.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  You can be everything and that, that was the fit, like a big wake up call for me. I was like, no one is one thing.

• 1:02:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  Like, we're so allowed and like, it should be celebrated to be as many different things as you can be, as long as they're honest and truthful and like, coming from within, not from an idea of what you think you should be doing.

• 1:03:01Jay Shetty?

  That's it.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:02Jay Shetty?

  Vanessa, you've been so generous with your time.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  I'm like, I could sit here and talk forever.

• 1:03:07Jay Shetty?

  I mean, I can talk, I can continue to talk for hours. I know you've been traveling, I know you've been moving around, I know you're catching up. So I want to express to you so much gratitude from my heart for your time, your energy, turning up to the Zen Zones, your friendship, your reflections in the Zen Zones. Like, I always feel like you'll come in and you'll open up and then everyone else feels inspired to open up some more as well. And, and even today, like, it has truly been wonderful to witness just what exudes from you. And, and I really appreciate that.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  I appreciate you.

• 1:03:40Jay Shetty?

  Oh, you're very kind. Thank you.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  And we all do.

• 1:03:47Jay Shetty?

  Send us which, which energies are up.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Jay Shetty?

  But we end every On Purpose episode with what we call the final five. These are five fast questions that have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 1:04:02Jay Shetty?

  You can take your time to think about them, but the answers are tiresome. So, all right, so the first question is, what is the best advice you've ever received or heard?

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  In this moment of my life where I am, just honor yourself.

• 1:04:16Jay Shetty?

  That's great advice. We've never had that before on the show. That's great advice.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  It's a good short sentence, too.

• 1:04:20Jay Shetty?

  It is. It's beautiful. Easy to remember.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's so, because I feel like it's so easy to not, in so many different aspects. And it's like, if you actually do, then like, you can like, live your truth. And that's what we're all trying to do, right?

• 1:04:35Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever received or heard?

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  Like, maybe always say yes. I feel like, um, saying yes can like, definitely be a wonderful thing. But I think it's what you say no to that shapes you, your character.

• 1:04:59Jay Shetty?

  That's great advice. I really like that. That's beautiful. See? This is good. It's good. I like it. Yeah. The stillness is good.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it takes a step.

• 1:05:08Jay Shetty?

  It does, it does. Okay, question number three. How would you define your current purpose or the current impact you're trying to have in the world?

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Spread joy.

• 1:05:20Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Honestly.

• 1:05:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  I feel like I have an abundance of it. If I can share it, that's like the most beautiful thing I can offer.

• 1:05:29Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful. All right. Question number four. What's the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Um, God, I hate my answer, but if I'm gonna answer truthfully, it's probably like. Well, it depends on where I am.

• 1:05:45Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  Like if I'm with Darla, I like just find her and like hold her.

• 1:05:51Jay Shetty?

  Little cuddle, yeah.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Yes, have a little cuddle and like, I think I like, I'm a big like deep breather in the morning. Like get back into breath, but like check my phone.

• 1:06:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's, yeah, that's.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  But it also like depends like on if I'm on my own or if I'm with Cole.

• 1:06:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Cause I'm like, if I'm with him, then it's like, oh, like my first thing is like, oh, gratitude and just like love. Um, if I'm on my own, I'm just like, okay, what do we got Vanessa?

• 1:06:21Jay Shetty?

  It's beautiful. Thank you for the honesty, but I also like the, the mix of answers. All right. Fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow or one habit that everyone had to do every day, what would it be?

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  Think before you speak.

• 1:06:36Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow. That was great.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  I don't know if that's like the, I, that's just the first one that pops into my mind.

• 1:06:42Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  But like, it's, it's, I feel like we all, we all could.

• 1:06:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  Navigate through life a bit better if we really stopped to like, really think before we, we spoke and be impeccable with your word.

• 1:06:56Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna go into the four agreements real quick. Don't mind me.

• 1:07:01Jay Shetty?

  Great book, yeah.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Great book, changed my life.

• 1:07:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  But yeah, I feel like, I don't know, I'm such a, such a lover. And it really bums me out when people get into arguments and they say things that they don't mean because they're not thinking before they speak. And like. The miscommunication that comes along with it. It's just like, it's heartbreaking to me when relationships can be like just deeply tarnished in those moments of of like heightened emotion.

• 1:07:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, just because we didn't.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  Just because we didn't pause.

• 1:07:38Jay Shetty?

  You're so right. I feel like relationships are ruined just because we didn't breathe.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, literally.

• 1:07:45Jay Shetty?

  We didn't pause.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Jay Shetty?

  We didn't take that moment of stillness.

• 1:07:48Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:07:49Jay Shetty?

  To respond and not react.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:50Jay Shetty?

  And you destroy lifelong relationships.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:55Jay Shetty?

  Because you misinterpreted a word.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Jay Shetty?

  Or you misunderstood an emotion.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:07:59Jay Shetty?

  Or you misconstrued a feeling.

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:02Jay Shetty?

  It's incredible.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Also, like, just speak your mind. I think.

• 1:08:05Jay Shetty?

  So the balance, yeah.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  The balance. It's like the balance of it because I feel like I grew. Growing up in the industry is like tough. I this is not an answer. I just said one sentence and now I'm like going.

• 1:08:20Jay Shetty?

  No, no, we're unpacking, we're unpacking.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  Like, growing up in the industry is tough and I feel like it was really easy for me to just like put on my professional face. Because like I was doing what I loved at like such an early age. So for me, I was like, okay, like this is my adult voice. Like this is my adult thoughts. And it was like so easy for me to like not just like speak up. And I, like I said, like if you're suppressing one aspect of yourself, then like it dripples into everything. And I feel like in relationships through the years, like I I look back and I'm like, there's there's so many moments where I'm like, if I just would have like spoken up and like said how I've how I've actually felt, like so much pain.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  And like tears could have been avoided. But like by going through that, like I now know like how important it is to like speak up and like honor yourself.

• 1:09:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  Because of the times that I didn't.

• 1:09:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  Doesn't make it any easier. Like, it's still like something that like even I have to like be like, oh, okay, brave face. We're talking about this now.

• 1:09:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  I like genuinely have to hype myself up for. But I feel, I feel like so many women get into relationships where they're suppressing themselves and like, or probably men too, you know, like, and I just, I'm, I'm so about like living as openly and freely and truthfully as possible. Because that's where I feel like the magic sits, the creativity sits. Like, that's where if there's an abundance of, of all of it. So I think it's so important to like push yourself to get there.

• 1:09:57Jay Shetty?

  That is a beautiful thing to end on. Like, that is such a great, like, grounding message for us to throw into the world. Vanessa, as I said before, I'm so grateful for your time.

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  I'm so grateful for your time.

• 1:10:10Jay Shetty?

  Your presence, just what you've brought to this today, for bringing Dala.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  Dala.

• 1:10:15Jay Shetty?

  Having a little wonderful night. Dala, do you have anything you'd like to say? Uh, any, any message for our audience?

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  I love life.

• 1:10:23Jay Shetty?

  That's a great message. And I want to thank everyone who's been listening and watching today. And what I'd love for you to do is tag Vanessa and I, when you share the messages that resonated, the magic that came through, there may be ideas or insights that Vanessa mentioned that you're going to try and practice and apply in your life. I love knowing what you're switching from information to action. That gives me so much joy knowing that you listened to this podcast, but then you make a shift in your life. Uh, please tag me and Vanessa on all social media platforms to let us know what's resonating with you and what's connecting with you. Uh, keep listening to On Purpose. And please, please, please go and shower Vanessa with so much love. She has so much exciting stuff coming up, whether it's her new line with Fabletics, whether it's Cali Water.

• 1:11:06Jay Shetty?

  Uh, she's, this is probably going to come out later, but she hosted the, uh, pre-show at the Oscars.

• 1:11:14Jay Shetty?

  I'm just so excited to see what you're going to continue to do. I'm excited for this movie you're going to direct in the future. I'm excited for this reality show, but more, more than anything, I'm, I'm really excited to deepen our friendship, our connection with Cole as well, with Radhi too.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:29Jay Shetty?

  And I, I love how you show up in the world. And I'm so grateful that I get to know you. So, thanks Vanessa.

• 1:11:34Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 1:11:45Speaker 02

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