The 6 Ways To Stop Yourself From Falling In Love Too Fast

I am absolutely fascinated by exploring the insights of love and relationships. Understanding the depths of a connection is the key to whether two people are right or wrong for each other. All things that matter to our lives, they take time. There's effort, there's mistakes, there's learning, and there's growing - no shortcuts. Making big decisions based on a small amount of information isn't productive. You think you know their heart, but you just know their mind. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

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• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:10Jay Shetty?

  Is it that people are not really in love? Or is it people think love happens too quickly? And what is love to them? So I start exploring love when I, when I hear that because, you know, it makes me wonder, it makes me really question how well we really know people, how deeply we really understand them when we say, I love you, because we say those words, but then we struggle to live up to it.

• 3:40Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. I am so, so, so excited for you to listen to this week's episode. You know that I am absolutely fascinated by exploring the insights of love and relationships and understanding the depths of a connection and whether two people are right for each other or wrong for each other. And this has been something that's been coming up again and again and again. And I know for a lot of you, I know for a lot of you that 2020... Right, 2020 is the big year where you're hoping to prioritize love. I know so many of you have said that to me, that Jay, I need to heal from my heartbreak in 2020.

• 4:23Jay Shetty?

  Or I need to prioritize connecting with a partner. Or I want to prioritize going deeper with my partner that I'm currently with. And 2019 was a year where me and my wife, Ravi, made a extremely consistent and focused effort to deepen our relationship because our relationship in the last three and a half years has had so many incredible changes. I mean, we moved country, then we moved where we lived in that country. We moved home three times. Our careers and pathways have changed for both of us, right? She used to work in a hospital in Watford and I used to work at a corporate in London. And now both of our lives are totally, totally different.

• 5:08Jay Shetty?

  And so navigating our relationship through that has been a phenomenal journey, one that we've reflected on and worked on. And this year was really the year where we wanted to spend a more quality time together, have more deep, meaningful exchanges with us and with other friends who had that too. And so I've been really fascinated by how so many of you need that for 2020. And I really want to help you get ready for 2020. And this counts whether you're in a relationship, whether you're not in a relationship, whether you're single, whatever situation you're in, this is something that I really, really wholeheartedly believe in, that I really want to dive into on this episode. So here we go. I've been thinking about this for a long time and I want to be, you know, it can be unpopular opinion sometimes, but I really mean it.

• 5:52Jay Shetty?

  Don't fall in love too fast. And of course, the six ways to stop yourself from doing it, right? Some people will say, and I know my opinion may be unpopular, but some people will say, let it be spontaneous, let it be natural. And yeah, that kind of lasts for like one month, three months if you're lucky. And love is, love, real love is actually always natural and real. That doesn't mean it has to be quick or instant. Notice the difference, right? Love, real love is always natural, it's always real and it's always organic. But that doesn't mean that it has to be quick or instant. Like, do organic vegetables grow in a day? No. Does natural fruit become ripe in a week? No, right?

• 6:37Jay Shetty?

  Stuff that is fake is usually instant, right? Stuff that has been preserved, stored, that isn't real, is instant, right? It happens immediately. But the things that really matter to our lives, they take time, there's effort, there's mistakes, there's learning, there's growing. And so this all came from a video I made and it was called "Don't Fall in Love Too Fast." And in this video, I wrote this statement that I think is really, really important. And I want to share it with you now. "Don't fall in love too fast. You think you know their dreams, but you just know their plans. Notice the difference between dreams and plans.

• 7:20Jay Shetty?

  Dreams are of the heart, plans are of the head. Knowing both is knowing a person. When you meet someone quickly and instantly, you may know their plans, you may know their head, you know what they're thinking about, but you may not know their dreams, their values, their priorities, the things that matter to them." Now, when I say "don't fall in love too fast," this doesn't mean about speed, like this doesn't mean that you can't fall in love with someone in a month. What I'm trying to say is that you can't expect it to happen quickly. And you may like someone deeply after a month, you may really connect with them, but you don't want to just go in and over expect or over predict where something is going. Now, listen to this next line.

• 8:04Jay Shetty?

  "You think you know their heart, but you just know their mind." Right? How many times have you been in that situation when you break up with someone and you say, "Oh, I thought I knew their heart, like I thought I knew them, but actually I didn't realize that all I really connected with was their mind," right? This is a real challenge that so many of us face. And I want to help you not have that challenge in 2020. And it's always like that in hindsight. You look back at the last relationship and you go, "Oh, I should have known better." Then you do the same mistake again and then you're like, "Oh, I should have known better." And then you do the same mistake again and you're like, "I should have known better," right? We keep saying that to ourselves. We don't hear it from anyone else, but we keep saying it to ourselves. And then I wrote this. "You think you know their past, but you just know parts."

• 8:50Jay Shetty?

  Right, when you meet someone very quickly, you may know a little bit about their past and you're like, oh, I know them. Right, I know them, I understand them. But knowing and understanding someone takes a lot longer.

• 9:04Jay Shetty?

  Right, it takes so much longer than we could ever imagine. So yeah, you, you, when you meet someone and you connect and you have a great date, or whatever it may be, you think you understand them, like you think you know them fully, but actually you just know parts of their life. Now, I'm not saying you need to know someone fully before you fall in love. I'm not saying that because I think we're always learning about people, we're always learning new things about them. But the point is that we make very big decisions based on a very small amount of information. Now, in any area of your life, in any other area of your life, it's very unlikely that you make a big decision based on a very small amount of information. You would see that as quite scary.

• 9:47Jay Shetty?

  But love can blind us, love can be foolish, love, you know, can, can make us do all sorts of things. And so we ignore the data, we ignore that space. Now, listen to this carefully because it's, it's really, really interesting research. It says that surveys show that men wait just eighty-eight days, right, under, just under three months to say I love you. And thirty-nine percent say it within the first month. Women take an average of one hundred and thirty-four days. Right, surveys show that men wait just eighty-eight days, which is just under three months, to say I love you. And thirty-nine percent of men say it within the first month.

• 10:31Jay Shetty?

  Women take an average of one hundred and thirty-four days. Now, I don't have stats on this, but I'm, I'm basing this off of intuition, experience and speaking to so many people. How many of those men, and women, but how many of those men who say it within the first month, end up breaking up with that person, end up potentially cheating on someone, or whatever it may be. And even the women that say after one hundred and thirty-four days, like, how many of these people actually live up to that statement that they've said, right? That's the interesting question there. Because if you're saying it so early, that would mean that there wouldn't be as many breakups. But, I mean, I hear more breakup songs, I hear more about breakup people. I just watched Marriage Story on Netflix, uh, because a friend was visiting and really wanted to watch it. And, you know, I was watching a real-life divorce, that's what it's about.

• 11:15Jay Shetty?

  It really gives you a, a real-life feel of the legalities and the... The contracts around marriage and how tough it is to get a divorce and with the child involved and you look at all of that and you think, well, is it that people are not really in love or is it people think love happens too quickly and what is love to them? So I start exploring love when I, when I hear that because, you know, it makes me wonder, it makes me really question how, you know, how well we really know people, how deeply we really understand them when we say, I love you, because we say those words, but then we struggle to live up to it. And the problem that exists is that when

• 11:54Jay Shetty?

  we don't live up to the love we say we love someone, they don't question you, they question love, right? Like you, you, you almost let love down, right? You let love down. That's, that's really what ends up happening is that we end up giving love a bad name because we really don't live up to the love that we promise. We don't live up to the level of love that we say we have and therefore love gets a bad name. Therefore, people say things like, I don't believe in love anymore, or I don't deserve love anymore, or maybe love isn't right for me, or, you know, but people don't doubt you, they doubt love. So notice the, notice that if you've ever said, I love you to someone, recognize what weight

• 12:39Jay Shetty?

  it comes with.

• 12:43Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life.

• 13:27Jay Shetty?

  State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use.

• 14:12Jay Shetty?

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• 14:59Jay Shetty?

  That's the point I'm trying to get through here, that realize that the word love has a lot of weight to it. And it's not worth wasting that word, or losing that word, or using that word without depth. Just as you would not use the word like "you're fired", right? You would never say to someone as a joke, or if you're kind of playing around with it, like "you're fired", because you see that as a permanent thing. If someone gets fired, it means it's a permanent decision, right? So... Love has that kind of weight. I really feel it does. And even if we say, oh, no, but we say I love all the time. I think people, when they hear it from someone that they're attracted to and into and share something with you, you want love to be like that.

• 15:42Jay Shetty?

  You wouldn't just joke around to someone, oh, you're fired today. Oh, you know, you're fired and then you're back with them again. So similarly, love has that kind of weight. And, you know, words like, just, yeah, words like fired, words like divorce, words like, words like you've got the job. That's another one, like, you wouldn't just say to someone, oh, you've got the job. And then a few weeks later, turn around and say, oh, no, you didn't really get the job. I was just, I just had a feeling that day, right? If you said to someone, you've got the job, you, you sign a contract, you give them a job. And I'm not saying love is a contract. I'm not saying that love has to be seen as a business transaction. But what I'm saying is that the word has weight, right? The word has weight. So what I want to focus on now are six steps

• 16:26Jay Shetty?

  that really, for you, can help you understand whether you are ready for love and make sure that you know if the other person is ready for love. Because this is one of the biggest mistakes we make. One of the biggest mistakes we make is that we think that saying we love someone means we're ready for love. And hearing someone say, I love you, means they're ready for love. We don't unpack that, right? We don't really break that down. We don't say, we don't say, and, and I'm not saying, I'm not suggesting you say this, but I'm going to give you the thought process of how to do this. When someone says, I love you, you just believe them. You don't think about like, well, what does that mean to you? Or what does that mean you want to do for me? Or what does that mean about us?

• 17:10Jay Shetty?

  Like, what does that mean about our relationship together? We just assume that they mean the same thing we mean, right? When someone says, I love you to you, you assume that they mean the same thing you mean when you say, I love you. But actually, those two can be very different things. And I really feel that sometimes relationships and all types of relationships are speaking different languages. And it's so important to break down words and meaning because everyone's parenting, everyone's background, everyone's education has built up certain definitions around words. So every word, based on your background, your parenting, your education, has a meaning to you, right? Has a meaning to you.

• 17:53Jay Shetty?

  But that meaning may be different to someone else growing up in another area. For example, right? Like, the okay sign, right? What is the okay sign? Everyone know what the okay sign is? The okay sign is when, you know, you put your thumb and your index finger together. It's like, okay, like, you know, that okay gesture, right? The okay or ring gesture, as it says on Wikipedia, is performed by connecting the thumb and the index finger into a circle and holding the other finger straight or relaxed away from the palm. Commonly used by divers, it signifies "I am okay" or "are you okay?" when underwater, right? So that's where it kind of comes from. But now, if you think about it, and listen to this carefully, and I'm reading this from

• 18:38Jay Shetty?

  a HuffPost entry, just to make the point here that, and it's an article called "Gestures to Avoid in Cross-Cultural Business." "In Brazil, Germany, Russia, and many other countries around the world, the okay sign is a very offensive gesture because it is used to depict a private bodily orifice," right? The okay sign actually does mean okay in the United States, however, in Japan, it means money, and it's most commonly used to signify zero in France, right? So notice how the same okay gesture, right? The same thing that so many of us have grown up meaning as certain things, means totally different things in different countries.

• 19:19Jay Shetty?

  And you think about words that mean different things in different languages, right? So even with that, it's huge. So for example... Now I'm looking at an article from Reader's Digest, and we talk about the different meaning of words. Now, I'll pick a funny word like fart that's on the list here. European languages love the word fart, but not the same exact way as English speakers. In Norwegian, Danish, and Swedish, fart is the word for speed or moving objects. If you see "I fart" in Denmark, it means the elevator is in use. And fart plan means schedule. And road signs say fart control, right? Notice how a word is so different. Now, I'm giving you these funny, silly, interesting examples to make the simple point

• 20:03Jay Shetty?

  that when you say the word "love", what it means to you could mean something very different to other people. And if you've not taken the time to understand what it means to you and what it means to them, then you're not sure what direction you're going in. So the first thing you have to focus on is how do you define love? What does it mean to you? And what do you want it to feel like, right? How do you define love? What does that word mean to you? And are you happy with the definition you've created? Or have you taken that definition from a movie, media, or music? Right? Like even your beliefs and values around love, where are they coming from? Are they actually yours? And more importantly,

• 20:47Jay Shetty?

  this is a great way to think about it. What do you want love to feel like? This is a big question I want to ask, because we say, "Oh, love to me means care", and "love to me means support", but it's like, what do you want love to feel like? Do you expect to be excited all the time? Do you expect to have butterflies all the time? Well, if that's your answer, then where does that come from? Is that from a movie you saw? Is that from your favorite character growing up? Or is that something you want to feel? Or really, what do you want to feel is compatibility and camaraderie and a partnership? Like, is that what you're looking for? Really think about what does love mean to you? And what do you want it to feel like when you are in love? Because this is going to help you understand whether you are in love or not. Like, how do you want to feel?

• 21:31Jay Shetty?

  So for me, what love meant to me was a commitment between two people.

• 21:38Jay Shetty?

  Who always let them be themselves. And what love felt to me like, or what I wanted it to feel like, was that I could totally be myself. And I didn't feel any pressure or judgment from my partner, right? That was a big part of it. That's not everything I feel about love, but that was a big part of it. That I wanted someone that I could be my full self around, my whole self around, and be accepted for that. And that that person loved that side of me, that part of me, that whole of me, right? Like, that was a big, big thing for me. Now, the second thing you have to ask yourself is, what are your love values? For example, are you looking for reliability? Are you looking for adventure? Are you looking for comfort?

• 22:23Jay Shetty?

  Are you looking for success? Like, knowing what you value in a relationship and what you value in love is such an important thing to think about and such an important thing to reflect on. Because then you'll be able to very clearly see whether someone has similar values or different values. If you don't really know your own values, how can you judge whether someone else's values are right for you? And we see this very, very often, that not all people have the same values. But because we don't know our own, we can't tell whether someone does or doesn't have the same values as us. So the second thing you really want to focus on is what are your love values? So for some people, reliability and stability is their big love value.

• 23:07Jay Shetty?

  Is someone going to be around? Are they going to help me create a life that is consistent? For some people, it's adventure. Like, love to them means exploration, adventure, trying out new things. For third people, it's comfortable. And then it could be something like success and achievement. Now, you may say, well, it's a bit of all of them, Jay. Well, I would put them in a priority order. I would want you to be aware of what is most important to you in that relationship, right? In that area. And remember what I said earlier, that it's making sure that you describe things the same way. Just because you use the same words and the same language doesn't mean you have the same values, right? Just because you use the same words doesn't mean you have the same values.

• 23:51Jay Shetty?

  Write that down, repeat that. That is really, really important. That's a moment that I've just had while I'm speaking to all of you. Just because you use the same words doesn't mean you have the same values. And it's important for you to dig into the values. And you only know someone's values when you really ask them to express them, when you ask people to explain them, when you ask people to help you understand how they form that value. Like if someone says to you, I really value loyalty. And you ask them, why do you value loyalty? And they'll say, well, you know, I was, you know, someone treated me really badly. And when I was growing up and someone betrayed my trust. And that day I realized how painful it was. And now loyalty is important to me. That is a deep value.

• 24:35Jay Shetty?

  Whereas if you say to someone, oh yeah, why do you value loyalty? And they're just like, oh yeah, you know, I think it's a, it's a Kendrick Lamar song. No, I mean, like, you know, they give you a superficial answer. And then you just go, oh, okay. They're just saying the right things instead of meaning the right things, right? They don't really feel that. The third thing you want to ask yourself is, where are you at in life? What's your current focus, right? Don't get distracted. People get clingy and lose sight all the time. Like, is that person helping you get closer to what you want? Or is that person making you closer to them and further away from the life that you wanted? It's really important to think about that, that where are you at in life? And what's your current focus? And what are you trying to build and grow?

• 25:20Jay Shetty?

  Because you want someone who's enhancing that. You want someone who's adding to that. You want someone who's supporting that, right? That's, that's what you want. You want a world in which you can totally take things to the next level together. Not that now you feel behind, right? It's a really, really important thing to think about. So those are three things that I would really sit back and reflect and ask yourself and really consciously reflect on. Because you want to make sure that you're ready, right? And when we're not aware of this, this is when we fall in love too fast. Because we go, oh, well, well, this feels good right now. And we're not thinking about whether this feels good in a moment, right? And then we say like, well, you know, I didn't know what love was going to be anyway. So this kind of feels better than anything I've had before.

• 26:04Jay Shetty?

  Is that, you know, is that the value of love you want? And if I ask you like, what are your values of love? And you're like, Jay, it's too much to think about. It's too theoretical, like, well, no, this can actually save you, you know, from so many challenges. This can actually protect you. And, and you know, like, there is something about putting yourself out there and going out there. But you can save yourself a lot of pressure, strain and issues if you think about these things in advance.

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• 27:10Jay Shetty?

  These are the three things you have to do to prepare yourself, right? Knowing how you define love, what your values are around love, and what your current personal focus is that that person can enhance and help you grow. Now, you've got to be conscious of the other person. Usually, we only focus on the other person or we only focus on ourselves. So usually, we go, well, this is what I want in someone. Or we focus on like, well, this is who I am. But really, it's about the juxtaposition, the convergence of those two. So this is how I think about it in relationships. Because some people write out their long laundry list of everything they want in someone. Like, they'll say, good-looking, sense of humor, charismatic, loves my friends,

• 27:55Jay Shetty?

  my parents love him or her or whatever, right? Like, we have this long list. And sometimes, you're looking at your list and you're going, wow, well, who's ever going to live up to this list? And some people will say they had that list, they visualize it, they found that person. But if I'm completely honest, no one's perfect. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has challenges. And so, you're going to have to figure out what you really, really want. So the fourth thing that you have to think about is three priorities you want in someone. So these are like non-negotiables, right? These are the three things that you want in someone that you won't negotiate on because they're so, so, so crucial and critical to who you are. So if you've answered the first three questions properly, this becomes a lot easier to answer.

• 28:40Jay Shetty?

  So what are the three priorities you want in someone? So for me, one of the big things I wanted is someone who is spiritually grounded, right? Someone who is spiritually grounded, had spiritual qualities, had that natural sense of... Positivity, abundance and spirituality, right? That was very, very important to me because I knew that that was a big part of my life, right? That I'd been a monk and that was a very significant part of my life and that I couldn't just ignore that. And it would be hard for someone else to live with if, you know, they weren't waking up and meditating and they weren't wanting to take spiritual retreats and meditation retreats. So it's really important to think about that. What are the three priorities that are non-negotiable for you? That are just such important bedrocks because now I'm not saying that you wouldn't meet anyone if they didn't have that

• 29:25Jay Shetty?

  because they might be amazing in other areas, but it's important for you to know that. Uh, what your priorities are and, and what's like, ah, this, this is just too important for me. Like it could be, and I'm, I'm just giving this as an example. It could be like, I really wanna live in LA and that person wants to live in Tokyo, right? And it's like, well, no, but living in LA is really important to me. How much am I willing to compromise on that? So there are gonna be things that are priorities. This is point number four, three priorities you want in someone. And point number five is three preferences, but that are changeable. So you want a list of three priorities that you want in someone that should correlate with the answers to your first three questions. It should be based on values, should be based on definition and where you're at in life and who you think is gonna enhance you.

• 30:10Jay Shetty?

  But then you have three preferences that are changeable. These are things where it could be the country thing and you're like, well, actually I don't mind where we live. Or, you know, I'm, uh, for example, kids could be a priority or a preference. You may say, actually, kids are a priority for me. I need to be with someone who wants to have kids. Or you may say kids are a preference. Actually, if they wanna have kids, we'll do it. If they don't, I'm, I'm flexible on it. These, these things are changeable. So you want three priorities and you want three preferences. It's really important that you have this discussion with yourself. And when you meet someone, you can have this discussion with them. And it doesn't mean like, oh, if someone says they're not gonna do one of your priorities, it's not like, oh my God, they're out of the picture. It's just giving you more information to think about, to make a conscious, intentional decision.

• 30:51Jay Shetty?

  Right? When we make unintentional decisions, someone was saying this to me yesterday. I was at a, uh, a dinner with a friend and they play golf and they were saying to me, you know, every time they hit a unintentional, unconscious shot, it never goes in the right direction. No matter how free flow you are, how happy you are, whatever zone you're in, if you hit a unconscious, unintentional shot, it's not gonna be a hole in one and it probably won't even be close to where you want it to go. But if you're someone, right? If you're someone who is able to be intentional and conscious and effective, you're going to get closer to where you want to be, right? You're gonna get closer to where you want to be.

• 31:36Jay Shetty?

  So that's what we're doing here. We're not, we're not ruling out the answer of chance. We're not ruling out the answer of luck or organic connection. We're not ruling out spontaneity. We're just being intentional so that we save ourselves from wasting time and protect ourselves from places that may not be, people and places that may not be right for us. And you can tell from a mile off, right? Like sometimes your friends can see it and you can't see it. Now, once you have your three priorities and your three preferences, you want three points you need to have for them. The question you have to ask is, are they aware of what they need? Like, what is it about you on a personality, on a deep level, that you actually impacting them? Three points that you need to have for them.

• 32:20Jay Shetty?

  And you can be aware of this and say, okay, well, I can see that they're gonna need someone who helps them organize. They're gonna need someone who motivates them. They need someone who's around for them. Do I want to be that? Am I ready to be that? Am I ready to commit to that? That is a question you really have to ask and reflect on for yourself. Because sometimes people haven't done that reflection themselves. You have to do that reflection for yourself. Otherwise, you get into an unconscious relationship, right? So this is the six ways to stop yourself from falling in love too fast. Not because I'm against falling in love, but because there are 39% of men saying they love someone within the first month and women saying it on an average of 134 days. And then I feel a lot of people lose faith in love. I thought I had to do this to defend love.

• 33:04Jay Shetty?

  I had to do this because I believe in love. I had to do this because I want you to find love in 2020. And I really, really hope this has helped you focus and refocus and find your path. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I cannot wait for the new year. I hope these episodes are helping you get your mind ready. That's all we're doing is preparing your minds, getting you ready for 2020. And I can't wait for you to hear next week's episode. Thank you so much for listening. Actually, make sure that you subscribe to the podcast as well. I don't want you to miss a single episode in the new year because we have so many exciting podcasts coming your way, so many exciting things coming your way. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you soon.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPact.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.