Nick Kyrgios ON: How to Deal with Being Misunderstood & Stop Trying to Live Up to People's Expectations

Tired of being misunderstood all the time? Are you looking for ways to stop living up to other people's expectations? Then this podcast is for you. Today, Jay Shetty welcomes world-ranking professional tennis player Nick Kyrgios. Nick burst onto the pro tennis scene in 2012 after a prolific junior tennis career. Since his start he has captivated fans with a larger than life personality, passion for the game, and unpredictability. Kyrgios has won 7 singles titles and 4 doubles titles in his career, but 2022 marked the first time Kyrgios displayed his dominance making it to his first Grand Slam Final, winning 3 singles titles, and 3 doubles titles. He also reached the Quarter Finals of the 2022 US Open beating then-ranked No. 1 Daniil Medvedev and is one of the few players on Tour who have beaten the Big Three (Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal) at least once. In this conversation, Nick opens up about how his strong personality online has sparked hate and negativity - how misunderstood his persona is and how different he is with friends and family. Nick also briefly talks about dark times, dealing with depression and addiction and turning the most difficult phase of his life into a pivotal moment to have the best year of his life when he reached the Wimbledon final. He also talks about looking at life beyond tennis and what awaits him in the future. In this episode, you will learn: How to accept your flaws How to overcome fear and anger How to turn your life around How to deal with negativity How to become your best self A truly inspiring story begins with a challenge and ends with a triumph, and Nick has just proven to us that success isn't elusive when you dream big and work hard for it. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:54 Enjoying Some Time Off 02:00 Nick Used to Hate Playing Tennis 03:35 Misbranded by the Media 06:00 The Effects of Promoting Negative Content 08:25 Dealing with Mental Health in Silence 10:49 Getting Out of the Darkest Moments 15:08 How Hard Work Led to Wimbledon 17:04 People Only See the Anger 19:23 People Will Always Have Something to Say 22:56 Being Okay with Leaving the Game Behind 24:52 Nick Talks About His Injury 25:46 Would You Spend Time with Your Haters? 28:25 Playing the Character of a Villain 29:55 The Best Crowd to Play For 33:32 Who is the Nice Guy Nick? 34:59 Tennis Is A White Privileged Sport! 38:34 How Media Can Negatively Affect Your Mental Health 44:26 How Strong Boundaries Make Relationships Work 49:36 An Old Conversation with Drake 51:50 Happiness is Spending Time with Family 54:44 The Many Breakdowns that People Do Not Know 59:14 What’s Keeping You Busy These Days? 01:00:30 The Best Places to Visit 01:02:00 Regrets of Losing a Loved One 01:06:44 Learning How to Bounce Back Right Away 01:07:58 The Hardest Lesson You Had to Learn 01:12:05 How Stress Can Affect How You React to People 01:16:24 Why Would You Break a Racket? 01:19:14 Routine Consistency is Hard Work 01:21:15 The Struggle of Letting People Down 01:24:13 Nick on Final Five Episode Resources: Nick Kyrgios | Website Nick Kyrgios | X Nick Kyrgios | Instagram Nick Kyrgios | Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:43Jay Shetty?

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• 1:27Jay Shetty?

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• 2:01Jay Shetty?

  There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more present and self-aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to actually be mindful in your day-to-day life. That's where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness fun and easy. Calm has all sorts of content to help you build positive habits, shift your self-talk, reframe your negative thoughts, and generally feel better in your daily life. So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in the world, along with renowned meditation teachers. You can also check out my seven-minute daily series to help you live more mindfully each and every day.

• 2:46Jay Shetty?

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• 3:01Speaker 01

  My whole life now revolves around what I've achieved on the court, but then if I could do it again, I wouldn't ever want to pick up a racket. He's one of the greatest players in the world. Winner of seven tour singles title. Vic Karios. I literally wanted to end my life, and now I'm just here and enjoying it. So everything is just, it's all a bonus.

• 3:25Jay Shetty?

  Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  The bestselling author and host.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

• 3:54Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place where we have culturally impacting conversations. I am so grateful to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. And you know that ever since I was a teenager, I've been captivated by people's stories and journeys. I'm fascinated by decisions people make, their personalities, their psychology. And today's guest is someone that I've been admiring from afar for such a long time. And so to have him in the studio today is a true honour and true joy. I love diving into the minds of people that define culture, divide culture, direct us in different ways, surprise us and give us the unexpected.

• 4:38Jay Shetty?

  And today's guest has been doing that ever since his career began. I'm talking about the one and only Nick Kyrgios, who burst onto the pro tennis scene in 2012 after a prolific junior tennis career. Since Nick's start, he has captivated fans with a larger-than-life personality, passion for the game and unpredictability. Nick electrifies the tour with his near unstoppable serve and powerful forehand. Nick has won seven singles titles and four doubles titles in his career. But 2022 marked the first time Nick displayed his dominance, making it to his first Grand Slam final, winning three singles titles and three doubles titles. Welcome to the show, Nick Kyrgios. Nick?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  What an intro.

• 5:23Jay Shetty?

  So you had to live it, man. You had to do it.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  I like that. That's probably the best intro I've ever had.

• 5:27Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:28Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that means the world to me, man. I appreciate that.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Thanks. I'm really glad to be here. I was excited.

• 5:33Jay Shetty?

  I appreciate that, man. When we were messaging back and forth for the past couple of weeks, I was really looking forward to this because as I was saying to you earlier, I don't love rules myself and people don't often see me as that. I think people see me as someone who follows the rules and is thoughtful and mindful. And I actually feel that my entire career, I've had to go against the trend and against the grain. And watching you do it has been really exciting and fascinating. And sometimes it can be uncomfortable to watch that as well. But today we get to pull back.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Unravel it all.

• 6:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we get to dive in. So I wanted to start off, there's so many things I want to talk about. What I'll start off with is... Externally, you've had what looks like a love-hate relationship with tennis. And at this point, you're injured, you've been away from the game. I'm intrigued to understand, how has your relationship with the game changed when you haven't been able to play yet?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  This is a tough one for me, because when I step away from the sport for so long, I actually don't miss it. So that's scary for me, you know, most athletes, when they get pulled away from their sport injury or take time off, they're like really hungry to get back with me. It's like, I've always kind of known that life has so many, so many cool things about it, you know. And tennis, when we're travelling seven, eight months a year, I barely see my family, my friends. And during this time, it's like I get to spend time with my partner more, my family, do all these things that I've been missing out on. It's like, wow, my life's amazing now. But, you know, I do miss playing tennis a bit. It's all I've ever known since I was seven years old. You know, my family loves it, you know, all my friends, you know, know me as Nick Kyrgios, tennis player. So I do miss it a little bit, but at the same time, I've, I've really enjoyed the time off.

• 7:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm glad to hear that. It's good for the honesty, you know, like, people, people forget that we're human and we need a break sometimes. What's your earliest childhood memory that you think has defined who you are today?

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Well, I hated tennis when I was young. So, you know, I was very chubby, overweight as a kid. And my mum kind of, she was like, okay, we've got to get you doing some, some, some sport, or be active. So she dragged me down to the local tennis courts and I remember I was crying all day, hated it, didn't want to be there. Anyway, I gave it a chance for like, you know, a couple of weeks, a couple of months. And the coach was like, oh, he's picking it up pretty quickly. And then that was, I guess that was a defining moment. Because ever since that coach said that, it's like my father and my mum put everything into tennis, you know, they sacrificed. You know, my dad and my mum had nothing growing up. And I guess they kind of saw me as the person in the family to, to eventually, you know, try and make it and help, and help them out and help the family out.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  So, look, tennis was, it was such an interesting journey, you know, I never thought, I was seventeen, eighteen, still in school. And people were telling me, you could really do something. And I never took myself seriously enough to, one day be on the tour beating people like Djokovic, Nadal, Federer. It was just never in my mind. And then all of a sudden, it just happened and my life changed. It's like I have big imposter syndrome. Like I'm sitting here, I watch you, my bed in my house in Canberra, I'm watching you and then now all of a sudden I'm here having a conversation. Like that's just, for me, it's crazy.

• 8:32Jay Shetty?

  Well dude, I feel the same with you.

• 8:35Jay Shetty?

  I'm watching you play all the major tournaments and watching you on Breakpoint and I still have to pinch myself that I get to do this. So the feeling is very mutual and I want you to know that too. Like, and, and you know, a big part that for me, watching you is, I think, and I chose not to introduce you this way. But I think a lot of people would introduce you as the bad boy of tennis. How does that title make you feel today?

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's been hard. That's one thing the media has done. They've branded me as, you know,

• 9:05Speaker 01

  I don't know, like, I'm, I'm crazy, I'm a bad boy, but my family and my closest people know that I'm quite generous, I'm quite caring. I'm intellectually switched on. I like having deep conversations and I, I try my best to make other people feel comfortable. Like, I know what it's like to be overweight, insecure, like, I, I love, when I see kids that are a bit like, I guess, myself at a younger age, I love that. I go up to them, I make them feel, look, if I can do it, you can do it. So that's been one of the hardest things in my career is like, everyone I meet thinks that I'm just a, you know, a bad person. I've got crazy tempo, but then off the court, I'm, it's like a complete opposite person. And it's been really, really hard to shake that and it's taken years. Like only now I feel like people kind of understand how I am on the court and how I am off the court. But it's been, it's been hard.

• 9:50Jay Shetty?

  How early did that title set in? Like that idea of Nick Kyrgios meltdown again, Nick Kyrgios break, breaks a racket, like whatever, like, how early did that set in and how did that impact it?

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Um, probably the first couple of years I was on tour. Um, and that was almost 11 years ago and it's been an uphill battle ever since. You know, everyone thinks that I'm that type of person, but it's like, I've gone through my whole life trying to prove to people that that's not me. And it's been really hard, like all the media backlash, negativity, all the negativity on my family, my partner, like it's not, it hasn't been so easy to navigate. Um, but I think getting older and growing through it and getting thick skin. I've kind of given up trying to, you know, make everyone understand who I am because it's exhausting and it's, I don't think it's possible. Everyone's going to have their opinions, but it's taken a toll. Like, I'm definitely a bit tired of being branded that.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  And it's sad in a way because people only really want to get to meet me, to meet that side of me, which is not how I actually am as a person.

• 10:50Jay Shetty?

  How much of it early on was self-inflicted versus was that just you?

• 10:56Jay Shetty?

  Trying to deal with the pressure and the stress like why did that I've so I've met you just now.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 11:02Jay Shetty?

  You're smiling, you're easy to be around, you're chill, you're cool. When we were messaging, I was telling my team, I was like, this guy seems like one of the nicest guys, like everything you just said.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 11:11Jay Shetty?

  But then when someone watches you on the court or watches you in a press interview, you could be intimidating. How much of that became a persona you felt you ended up playing versus where did it actually start? Was it that you were stressed and there was pressure or?

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Well, I guess, yeah, when I'm on court, I turn into a different person. Like, I love competing and it's like, I hate losing. And I guess when I even when I was a younger kind of kid on the court, I always carried my emotions. I would cry on court, I would scream, I would just, I'd love to compete and hate to lose. And I guess I never changed, like whether it's me now, I don't cry on court now, but I still am very emotional and I just, it just shows how much I care. I feel like it was a way for me to outlet the pressure, you know, get angry or smash a racket. But the thing is tennis can go for four, five hours. A match go for four, five hours. And then for that small snippet of time, 20 seconds, 30 seconds, I'm losing my, losing my mind. And that's all they're showing. Like if you just show 30 minutes of a four hour match, then everyone's gonna assume, oh, that's how he's carrying on for four hours. Like the majority of the time I'm well behaved,

• 12:12Speaker 01

  great competitor, respecting my opponent. And then I look, I turn on, you know, say the TV, it's just me smashing a racket and I'm like, I can't control that. And it's been, it's been hard. Like most of the time I am how I am now, but it's, it's been a tough one.

• 12:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. You were saying, I've, I've watched how you talked about how it's impacted you, it's impacted how people communicate with your girlfriend, like the kind of backlash that you receive.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 12:36Jay Shetty?

  What has been the, the darkest, hardest period of dealing with that? Whether it may be a media narrative or uh fans reaching out, whatever it may be.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, in 2019 was, I've opened up about the, some of the darkest periods of my life and I just, it was so accessible, all these negative comments, you know, you go on your phone now, you open up social media, Instagram, Twitter, all this. And I just see millions of messages that were negative, negative about my family, like just things that I feel like, I didn't ever really listen, listen to, but they just went into the back of my mind. And subconsciously, they're just there. And then when things start happening, you're like, maybe they're right. You start doubting yourself. And I feel like that's what I fell into. It was like, oh, maybe they are right. And then I started feeling really negatively about myself and I started all these bad habits happening. And it was, it was impossible for me to deal with. I was nineteen at the time when this all started happening.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  And I wasn't prepared for such a, I guess, such a hard time. Like, I was just enjoying myself. I had normal friends. And then I went from being in school to now being on the global stage in the spotlight. And it was just impossible for me to deal with. I never really dealt with it uh in a healthy way at all.

• 13:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you talked about in Breakpoint about drugs, alcohol, isolating yourself. You talk about even considering attempting suicide.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 13:54Jay Shetty?

  And then we hear that you locked into a psych ward, but we don't really realize what you went through. Now walk us through what it felt like to be Nick Kyrgios in twenty nineteen.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  It's just, I think about those times and I don't necessarily feel sad about them or happy about them. It's just that that part of my life is over and it's just a mess. Like, I think about that time. I just was not thinking clearly. I was drinking every night, you know, just at the, at the time, I thought it was just fun. But it wasn't fun. It was just self-inflicted pain. And I was, had friends around me telling me it wasn't healthy and I ignored them. And then I found myself going to a psychiatric ward in London and I had to play Nadal the next day. And these are the things like, everyone would assume that I was doing fine. I was answering questions. And they told me that I should stay in this psychiatric ward for two weeks and be reassessed. And I was playing Nadal the next day. It's like, I, I, I looked at myself, I was like, I can't do this. I have to somehow change these habits.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  So I had self-harm everywhere. I had to wear an arm sleeve on the, on Centre Court of Wimbledon. And no one knew any of these problems. And it was, it was hard. And I look back and I just don't know how I neck, like. Got out of it, to be honest. I was such a mess. And the worst thing was the media. I was having decent results during that time and the media was like, okay, is this a new Nick Kyrgios? Is this the Nick Kyrgios? And I was like, this was the darkest period of my life. There was a tournament in Mexico, Acapulco, where I was thinking about, I was having suicidal thoughts and, you know, I was just on the balcony of my hotel and I was genuinely thinking about it and my team was like, all right, we've got to play in 10 minutes. Ended up going out on court, played amazing, won the tournament. And everyone globally was thinking, wow, is this the person that we've all been waiting for?

• 15:34Speaker 01

  When I was really on the brink of, of everything. And that's so scary. Cause no one else knew what was going on. It was really hard.

• 15:42Jay Shetty?

  I mean, that paradox of

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:45Jay Shetty?

  feeling that way and then having to play the biggest games and then even winning some of them. But then feeling that way when you're off court again.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 15:54Jay Shetty?

  That sounds like one of the most difficult. Like, just, just listening to you right now, I'm listening to that going. I was just putting myself in that position, thinking you're sitting, standing there at the balcony. Like, I can't imagine what's going through your mind. How did you break through that? Like, how did, how was that not the end? Because I feel there's so many people listening right now who might be feeling like you were then. And I want you to talk to them. I want them to hear you right now because I want this to be the message that they say that got me through it.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Um, just everyone, I felt like I was very selfish at that time. I was, I was always giving into my feelings, which were, they were probably valid. But I felt like I was playing just based on how I felt. And then I looked back at millions of fans that I have and that I, you know, for instance, there was a Make-A-Wish kid that I met up with a week and a half ago. He's probably got six months to live. And then I realized that those types of people that look up to me and really want me to succeed, that's who I started playing for. So family, these like kids, the, the future generation, that's the reason why, I probably would have retired and probably stopped playing, you know, a couple of years ago. If, if I just kept playing on how I was feeling, but then I realized I've got a whole contingent of fans or why they want to see me succeed.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  So that's why I love playing now. Like, I play for them, but that's what got me out of it. I started feeling like I've got a lot more to give. Not, not for me. Like, I've already proved to myself that I can play tennis, but for all those people out there, like, if I can do it. Like, you look at Djokovic, Federer and Nadal, like, these people are gods in my eyes. Like, they're super professional. Djokovic takes care of his diet daily. I was not doing any of these things and still getting to that level. So I think if just the inspiration for other people got me out of that. But it was really, those times are, you know, there are definitely times now where I think about those moments and I'm, I still get a bit emotional on it, like breakpoint obviously showed, interviewed with my, my sister and my father, my best friend and they

• 17:47Speaker 01

  break down into tears and that just shows how emotional that time was because they could just see me spiraling out of control. And I, I hadn't, I didn't think it was okay to just step back and not play. I, I kept thinking I had to force myself to get out there. Yeah, definitely was traumatizing.

• 18:03Jay Shetty?

  How much did it mean to you that they stood by you?

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I probably owe them my life, to be honest. You know, they were standing by me through

• 18:13Speaker 01

  reckless behavior and that's what I'm, everything, that's what I mean. Like people now, I go on social media and they're like, oh, you're a waste of talent or why are you not playing or why are you not doing this? And I'm, everything I'm doing now is just a bonus. Like being here, speaking to Jay Shetty for me is just, that's like a, it's like all a bonus. Like every day, I, I just don't think about the past. I don't think about the future. I just live every day, day by day. And I just, everything I'm doing now is just a bonus. Like, cause I was so, so depressed and so sad and like, I literally wanted to end my life. And now I just, I'm just here and enjoying it. So.

• 18:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Everything's just, it's all a bonus.

• 18:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's a beautiful way to live.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 18:51Jay Shetty?

  To know that. Yeah, it's a beautiful mindset to live in.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Just stay, I just stay on my feet. I don't think about the past or, I don't, I'm not a big planner anymore because I just don't know. Anything can be taken away, just like that.

• 19:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I mean, I think listening to you, it's so interesting, right? When we have views on athletes especially where we're like, oh, you could have been this and you could have been the next greatest and you could have been, whatever it may be. And the challenge is you have no idea what that person's going through. You have no idea what's worrying that person. And I think everyone almost projects their own insecurities onto everyone else where we also feel like we have so much potential that never got seen.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 19:33Jay Shetty?

  That never got untapped. And to almost live in the way you're living now, which is like, I'm already living in bonus land.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:39Jay Shetty?

  I mean, I, I feel like that in so many ways in my life where. I am able to do things today that I couldn't even have imagined as a kid. And we can actually, we have a lot in common growing up because I was, and I heard you say this and I felt the same way. I was, I was a short, brown, fat kid.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 19:56Jay Shetty?

  Growing up at school.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 19:58Jay Shetty?

  And so when you talked about that in Breakpoint, I felt exactly the same way where I was bullied for it.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 20:04Jay Shetty?

  I was beaten up for it. I was criticized for it. And when I look at my life today, I'm like, I get to do things that I didn't ever think were possible.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 20:13Jay Shetty?

  So I'm already living in bonus world.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  And you're so grateful for it.

• 20:16Jay Shetty?

  So grateful for it.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 20:17Jay Shetty?

  So grateful for it beyond. And whether I reach the potential, what people think I should do, or whether I don't, I'm already living in that gratitude.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 20:26Jay Shetty?

  With you, when you're playing at the top level and there is that feeling. So when you find out you're gonna make it, you've made it through to the final of Wimbledon.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 20:37Jay Shetty?

  Walk me through what the feeling is when you know like I've made it through to the final of Wimbledon. Like which is the biggest stage, the biggest moment, you've made it through. What does that feel like?

• 20:48Speaker 01

  I was laughing inside. Like I was, I had Novak Djokovic behind me, the royal family watching me play. And there's like guards there and I'm just like thinking to myself, I, I don't, this shouldn't be me. Like the way that everything had panned out, it was like, I just thought it was all a joke. I was like, this is incredible. How, how am I here in this moment in time? And yeah, I was, I was walking out to the court and I just, yeah, like it's like every single thing that I'd gone through, training, family sacrifice, it all, that's the one time in my life where everything made sense. Everything made sense. Every gym session, conditioning session, every good meal I decided to eat, was all equal to that moment in time. And it's like I didn't sleep the night before. And then as soon as I stepped on court, all those feelings went away.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  It was like, okay, now I'm home. And then I, I lost the match, but I played incredible. It was a great final. But I just remember seeing the doors open real slowly and I saw every blade of grass the same length. And I just walked out there and it was just like home. And then that was it. I just, I'm not disappointed that I lost the match. Obviously I would love to have a Wimbledon crown, but it was all a bonus. Like the fact that I was just walking out, Novak's behind me, royal family's there, like Nick Kyrgios making it that far, ridiculous.

• 22:01Jay Shetty?

  When I hear you speak, you speak like every, almost like real.

• 22:07Jay Shetty?

  It's almost like that childlike feeling.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:09Jay Shetty?

  Of like, you're still living in that childlike moment. Or childlike feeling of what that would have felt like. Where sometimes we grow up too soon.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 22:17Jay Shetty?

  And we almost can't experience it that way. And when you just said you saw every blade of grass being the same.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 22:23Jay Shetty?

  Like even that mindfulness, like watching the doors, the fact that you can visualize it.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 22:27Jay Shetty?

  It means you were so present. What goes through your mind during the game when it's not going your way? Like what happens when you start losing a point? Or when you know you could have made something, you didn't like? What's going through your mind at that time?

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Just competing, like just trying to get the best out of myself. Like, I guess people, when they watch me play, like, why you get so angry? It's like, there's millions of dollars on the line. So many hours of work put in. And I'm just trying to like, do the best I can in that moment in time. Like people, when they see me, I guess, getting angry or doing whatever, they're like, he doesn't care. It's like, I think I care too much at times on the result. And coaches always tell me, like, don't care about the result too much. But in my life, in my experience, if you don't win at the end of the day, I wouldn't be here. If I, if I didn't win majority of tennis matches, I wouldn't be sitting here. So I know the importance of winning, but at the same time, I guess I just, I'm just so involved in every little bit of effort's been. I know my, my family's effort, my support crew.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  I want everyone in my team to feel that I care the most. And I want like success for all of us, not, I don't care about just me, like. My physio's there, my partner's there, my best friend, my agent, like we're, we're all contingent. And that's why I guess I love the team environment a little bit more.

• 23:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  But tennis is, people just think, oh, you're, you're on your own out there. But it's like, there's so much more than just me, like everyone's put so much work in to get here.

• 23:45Jay Shetty?

  So your anger is actually your care?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Exactly. I wanted to win Wimbledon, so then like my whole team like can share that with me. I, I don't really care. Like, I actually don't really care. And I, I wanted to win Wimbledon, so I could just shut everyone up. And so I could be just left alone. So if I'm at home and I'm actually having a beer or I'm just chilling, people will just, oh, what are you doing? I'm like, I won Wimbledon, like you can't tell me anything. You're in like, you're immortal in that tennis world, you know?

• 24:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Like I made the final and people still criticizing me. I feel like if I'd won that, maybe it would stop.

• 24:14Jay Shetty?

  So you feel like, when you're playing.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 24:17Jay Shetty?

  You're trying to win because you feel so many people have invested in you.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 24:21Jay Shetty?

  And so many people believe in you, the people that you care about.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 24:25Jay Shetty?

  And that. You almost wanna win for them.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Yes, and to shut everyone else up as well. That would be nice.

• 24:32Jay Shetty?

  I'm excited to see you go on and win a few. Like, I I think you have the potential and the ability and, you know, the mindset to go and do it. But when you go and win, you know as well as I do that, that still won't shut people up.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  I know that.

• 24:46Jay Shetty?

  You know that.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  I just it's just false hope, I guess.

• 24:49Jay Shetty?

  What is that false hope? Walk me through that, because I think that's real. I think we all feel, right? This is this is this is the hypothesis. We all feel that there's something we can do that will finally convince people of who we are. And we're all waiting in our own way to do that thing. For you, it may be a game of tennis. For someone else, it might be a promotion. For someone, it will be graduating with a particular degree. For me, it will be interviewing someone, whatever. Like, we all have that thing where we think, when I do this, then people will say I made it.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 25:25Jay Shetty?

  Why is that?

• 25:27Speaker 01

  I don't know. I feel like if people really understood my journey, then they wouldn't be so pushy, I think. And like, if I just sat down with all my haters and we had like a nice meal together and I gave them my side of the story, I think they'd have a better understanding and they wouldn't be so like, they wouldn't criticize or be so like aggressive towards me on social media or just in general. So I feel like maybe if I do and win Wimbledon, and like, it's I was so close and I don't even really love the sport. Like, I'm only doing this because I love taking care of my family, my my people, and I wanna do this so I can prove that no matter how much more of an underdog you are, you can achieve something like winning Wimbledon. Like, that's, I never thought in my mind that I would be capable of doing that. And I, look, maybe you are right.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  I know that even if I did that, people are gonna be like, all right, now do it again. And it's just like, that's, I guess, that's the rat race of of life, you know, how much is enough? And I feel like I'm very content with my life now. I have more than enough to enjoy. And so if it was up to me, I probably wouldn't. I don't really wanna play anymore, to be honest, but I I have to almost. I've got so much more to give. But for me, I'm I don't I don't feel like playing anymore.

• 26:35Jay Shetty?

  And that's not your way of taking the pressure off?

• 26:37Speaker 01

  No, it's not. Like, I'm I'm exhausted. I'm tired. And, you know, I've had three surgeries now that, I'm only twenty eight years old. I always wanted to be able to have a family and and not be in pain. When I get up, I can't walk without pain. So it's it's a tough gig. It's tough.

• 26:52Jay Shetty?

  I appreciate the realness because.

• 26:56Jay Shetty?

  It's that, you know, there's a couple of things that come to mind. The first thing that comes to mind for me is always, I'm a Cristiano Ronaldo fan through and through, like, if anyone asks me CR7 or Messi, I'm CR7 all the way. He's the example for me of you can achieve everything. And there'll still be fifty percent of people.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Who think that someone else is better.

• 27:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, someone else is better, and not even just better, they think you're not even in the conversation. Like, there's a fifty percent of people who'll be like, well, CR7 doesn't even make it into the top two conversation. And it's bizarre that you can even feel that way. And so that, I look at it through that perspective where I'm like, this guy's won everything, he's inspired pretty much every next generation of football players in the world. Yet, there are people who have an issue with him. And blows my mind. And then at the same time, what you're talking about, the reality, I appreciate you saying I'm exhausted, it's hard. You know, I remember an interview that Vanessa Bryant did, Kobe Bryant's wife.

• 27:55Jay Shetty?

  And she talked about how the only thing that got Kobe to play when he was injured, or having an injury during a game, was his love for the fans. And he would say that, this fan paid to see me play. And if I don't play today, then that fan may never be able to afford to play again, and so I have to play. And so he was playing for beyond him. It wasn't, oh, I've got to play because I've got to win another ring. It's really interesting to hear an athlete say, I'm tired, it's a tough gig, it's hard. Because I think we almost want to believe that the best athletes don't feel that. But that's not true.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  No, it's not true. And I guess that period in two thousand nineteen kind of accelerated my exalt, like, if I had a bit of a normal career and I flew under the radar, I don't feel I'd feel this way. But those couple of years really, I think, put a lot on my age. Like, I'm twenty eight, but I feel like, you know, I've traveled to pretty much every country, I've seen cultures, you know, I was traveling to countries when I was thirteen and I saw what, you know, poverty was like, it really opened my eyes. And I guess those couple of years accelerated my. Almost pushed me to the end of my career a bit earlier because I was just, I felt that way. And I was so eternally hurting that I, I had to play for more than myself. And that's why now I do, I'm exhausted when I train, I'm like, I just, I don't want people to watch this and say, okay, he's soft or whatever.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  But it's just like, it's just hard. Like I'm tired. I'm tired of playing tennis. Like it's, it's more than going out last year, had the best year of my career and I'm playing in front of millions of people. Stadium is packed out, everyone's eyes on me. I, I don't know if I'm, an athlete loves that, but I'm a bit to that. I feel like a circus animal a little bit. I walk out there and like, oh, we just wanna see Kirov do something crazy. Like I'm sick of kinda playing that role. I'm sick of playing like, I have to turn to a completely different person and I don't like that. It's exhausting.

• 29:45Jay Shetty?

  Do you think when you come back, how are you trying to figure out how you'll approach it differently? Have you thought about that?

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Well, I think now I'm, I've kinda come to peace with, I only wanna play for about another one to two years and, and be at the top and, and go out on my own terms. Like I would hate to have another surgery or anything like that. So I think I've still got the ability to have a good one to two years and then that's it. I think I'll be at peace with everything I've achieved. And you're right, I'm gonna have to just say, look, to everyone out there who wants me to play more, you're just gonna have to be okay with me not playing anymore.

• 30:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Well, people are trying to figure out whether you'll be playing in December.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 30:21Jay Shetty?

  You're obviously, like you said, you're in pain even when you stand up. Like, how do you deal with that anxiety of like, people want me to play in December, I don't even know if I'll be better yet. Do I enter? How do you navigate that?

• 30:33Speaker 01

  It's hard because, you know, I'm going to the gym, I'm doing my rehab. You know, you might have something seriously wrong with your body and it takes time. Like we're, I'm only human. I'd love to be like a Novak or someone that just is always healthy almost. It seems that way, but it takes months and months of, you know, strength, consistency, diligence to get back to playing tennis at that high level again. Like I don't wanna get back on tour and just play decent. I, I was competing for Grand Slam, so I wanna get back to that level. So it might take, you know, a bit more time.

• 31:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I wanna go back a few things when you were saying like, if you could take all your haters out for dinner and, and hang with them. So imagine we were at dinner.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 31:13Jay Shetty?

  And all the haters are here right now. What do you want them to know about you to understand you deeply? If you could say three things to them to understand you more deeply and intently, what would you genuinely at the heart want them to know if if we had the floor with them right now?

• 31:31Speaker 01

  I guess I would I would wanna listen to them more. I'd be like, why do you dislike me so much? Because I feel like when I'm reading all these comments, they really, truly don't like me. And I feel like I don't dislike anyone that I don't know. Like, I just think it's ridiculous to have an opinion or or that person, this one. I have no idea who they are or how they are. So I would just ask them like, why do you dislike me so much? And then I would make them open up. And then I guess, because I think, for instance, I use my girlfriend as an example. So my reputation in Australia is like arrogant, he's crazy, he's volatile. And having those three things when you're meeting a person for the first time, they're probably three pretty rough things to like already assume of someone. So I had to prove every time I meet someone new, I have to kinda prove to them that's not me.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  And so and I asked her, what was the first three things you came to mind? And then she told me those three things. And so that's how everyone in the world that hasn't met me before assumes I am. And that's that's pretty brutal, like how those three things are, they're terrible. I I don't hang around with one person that is arrogant or volatile or crazy. So I think, and she just spent time like two times with me. And then she's like, you're like completely different to how the media paints you out to be. So I guess every hater just thinks I'm like that, I'm assuming. So I would just try and prove that I'm not like that. But it's it's it's so hard.

• 32:53Jay Shetty?

  This segment about inspiring creativity is brought to you by AT&T. AT&T believes connecting changes everything. When we talk about innovation in the workplace, there is this misconception that notifications and the constant stimulation from technology hinder creativity. But research suggests that being connected digitally in fact enhances your creativity and productivity at work. Personally, I'm a big believer in having various modalities of communication. It's like finding that perfect mix between getting stuff done and having a good time doing it. When we've got all these ways to chat, it's not Just about the serious stuff, it's about adding some fun. And you know that mix of work and play, it's like a magnet, pulling everyone in. It's not just about sharing ideas, it's about laughing together and feeling like a real team.

• 33:38Jay Shetty?

  It's like finding a treasure chest of ideas while making our team bonds stronger. And the best part, when people feel happy at work, it changes everything. They're not just working, they're truly engaged. You see smiles, hear laughter and feel this positive vibe. It's like everyone's working together towards success. And that kind of environment is a win-win for both the company and its employees. And here is how staying up to date with colleagues through apps and products can boost creativity in the workplace. You can set the stage for effective brainstorming sessions by using a blend of resources like video conferencing, smart whiteboards, and diverse applications. These tools foster an environment where ideas flow freely, facilitating diverse perspectives and innovative solutions.

• 34:23Jay Shetty?

  You have immediate access to information when you need a problem solved. It means you can tackle challenges super quickly, helping your team sort things out fast and without any hassle. I love Googling, hey, what did this company do to solve this problem? How did this company invent this idea and being able to learn about it immediately? You can use a variety of tools to spark creativity, tools like ChatGPT, Coggle, Poplar and MindMeister. If you haven't tried them, make sure you do. These aren't just programs, they're like your creative partners. They help your brain come up with fresh ideas, ask interesting questions and sort out problems super fast. Think of them as your creative toolkit, powering up brainstorm sessions and helping you uncover amazing new ideas.

• 35:05Jay Shetty?

  My team also use apps like Slack and WhatsApp. They're not just for chatting casually. They're like the glue that holds our communication together at work. These apps keep us in sync, making teamwork smooth and giving us quick solutions when we need them most. This has been brought to you by AT&T. AT&T believes connecting inspires, unites, heals and helps us grow. Connecting changes how we live our lives for the better. How did she give you the time of day to like make you believe that? Cause like you said, for a lot of people, they just, and you've been together for a bit now.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, two years now coming up, but you know, I just bought a mirror off a small company. It was just, it was just excuses, you know, just an excuse of how am I gonna get her to just give me the chance? And I feel like these people that hate me or don't like how I go about things, they just, they won't even give me a chance. They won't even listen because they think that I'm crazy.

• 35:57Jay Shetty?

  And do you think you just, you just started playing the character at one point?

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Definitely. Well, that's, you know, at the end of the day, you know, money's important. So I knew that that nick could, that's the one that everyone wanted. They didn't give, they didn't care about how I actually was. They just wanted that one. Like brands just wanted to work with that one. And that was hard. Like I was like, every time I do something brand wise, earlier in my career, I was exhausted. I got home, I was like, thank God, that's over. So I could just be myself again. And I'd meet people and they would just want that.

• 36:27Jay Shetty?

  And how did you know that? Were there people in your like vicinity, like telling you that or like? Because that's fascinating, right? Like the construction of talent is something that I think the average person is so separated from. Like when I moved to LA five years ago and I coach and work with so many different people in different parts of, whether it's music, acting, athletes, and you start recognizing how their management and their teams want them to be a certain persona, whether it's like you've got to show that you're single because otherwise people, you know, people won't be into you if, if you have a long-term relationship or you've got to be this way so that this brand will want to work with you.

• 37:08Jay Shetty?

  How much of that was in your ear? Were you hearing things like that or was it more in your own mind?

• 37:13Speaker 01

  It was more in my own mind. I think, you know, my team now have only ever wanted me to be happy and be myself. And I know that and that's why I kept them around. I have a really small circle. But I knew that brands, just that I knew that they wanted that nick. And that's, it's, it's sad in a way because. They don't even wanna get to know me like as me as a person like we wouldn't even sit down and have this conversation with they just wanted me to be that the one they see on the court like be the entertaining one and it's like I'm not like that I'm very chilled out and yeah I just I feel like most people just wanna meet that one.

• 37:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, because it sells tickets.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 37:48Jay Shetty?

  Gets attention, gets the headlines.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 37:51Jay Shetty?

  It makes a moment out of it.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:53Jay Shetty?

  When was, when was the day where you felt you played that character really well? Like when would you say you're like, you know what, that was the best acting gig I ever did where?

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Last year at the US Open was good like Arthur Ashe Stadium in New York is the biggest stadium that we have and it's crazy.

• 38:08Jay Shetty?

  I won this, yeah.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  You go to the back and you look up as on the plane, it's just like a wall of people just like glaring down at you and that's the coolest thing about tennis, there's nowhere to hide like if you're playing, if you're having a bad day, you can't sub out, there's no one to play your position. So you're just there and I just feel like New York and the Americans, I feel extremely at home here, I feel like they really do enjoy when you put on a show and you do some crazy stuff out there. So every time I was stepping out on that court, it was like in like five minutes before I was in the locker room, I was like, okay, I gotta, I gotta be more of that Nick tonight because I do appreciate the love that the American fans do give me. But yeah, every match was a bit of a, was a bit of a show.

• 38:44Jay Shetty?

  Do you feel differently about different places around the world? You've travelled, of course, as a tennis player, you travel everywhere. How do you feel like when you're in Australia versus when you're in the UK versus when you're in the US? Like walk me through the differences you experience as a player and the media and everything else.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Australia, I, I hate playing in Australia. Like that's gonna, if you're gonna air this, obviously that, that's gonna, people think that like most Australians love playing Australia. But there was one kind of moment that ruined it for me. I was playing second round of the Australian Open, I had some match points, it was like a four and a half hour match and I'd lost, I'd lost second round. I remember getting booed off the court in Melbourne and that was one of the worst feelings for me because I remember after that match, I was, I locked myself in the physio room with my physio and there were just people knocking on the door like I had to do media, I had to do this and I was just, I turned the lights off and I was just so overwhelmed. Like I'd given my absolute all in front of my, my fans for four hours and I lost the match and I just got booed off the court.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  And for me, that really ruined, that put a sour taste in my mouth playing in Australia. And I know now, like, I've had some great results in Australia and they have been behind me. But I don't forget things like that. I feel like if I loved someone and I understood the effort and the hours I put in, I would never do that. I'd never boo off one of my hometown heroes. So, and that's why I guess it's affected my relationship with Australia, you know, playing for the country. It's because I've been battered in the media there, like they've said some horrible things. Like there are some Australian legends that have told me and my family to go back to where we come from. And I just don't forget things like that. I've had Leighton Hewitt call me on my phone and say, why don't you want to play for the country? And everyone here wants you here. And it's like, yeah, but I, no, no other player in the, in the country has dealt with the backlash

• 40:26Speaker 01

  or the negativity towards their family, their girlfriend, like me, like that, that hurt. So I guess playing in Australia for me, I don't, I don't really like. London, I just don't fit it there at all. Like Wimbledon, it's a crazy feeling. It's like, the documentary said it's like a snowman in the desert. It literally is. I walk around there, everyone's like, oh my God, he's wearing like, I could be wearing like an anime shirt. They're like, oh, look what he's wearing. Everything I do there is like under a microscope. And that's a, that's a cool feeling. I guess Novak would kind of understand what that feels like too. It's like the villain, you know? It's like no one wants to see you win, no one's, and you made the finals. You have people like Piers Morgan just throwing absolute venom at you. And that's why I feel, I love playing in the US Open because I feel, wow, this is at home. Like the energy's amazing and they, they bring that energy that I have and I, I love playing there.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  So yeah, Australia and England are a bit, I don't like playing there, but US, I love it.

• 41:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, good, yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  I love Asia as well. Asia's amazing.

• 41:19Jay Shetty?

  Asia too?

• 41:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, they just, I think Asia just love entertainment. They love something different and they're, they're respectful, you know? That, I think they get the thing, that people are different there. But yeah, I love, I love playing in Asia as well.

• 41:30Jay Shetty?

  What would have changed if you were allowed to be nice guy Nick from the beginning? Like, and, and people perceived you as you actually are? Like, how do you think that would have impacted your game, your career, the work?

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Well, the first five years of my career, I was almost impossible to get any sort of deal with anyone because they just thought I was volatile, crazy. They didn't want me representing their brand. Where I feel like if they knew how I was and actually. Like a nice guy, that would have helped, would have, I would have made a lot more money. I probably would have been more at peace with people actually knowing that I was a good guy. Cause for a minute there, I thought the whole world thought that I was just a terrible person. I feel like it would have helped me. I definitely don't think I would have fell into that dark period in my life as well. But conversely, I don't want to, I don't want to change that because that makes me who I am today, obviously. I know everyone kind of says that, but when I opened up on social media about it, the amount of people that now open up to me daily.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  You know, I've got people around the world that, you know, I give them my number and I've had phone calls with people and tried to articulate in a way that it's okay. That's completely normal what you're going through, but like, please keep reaching out to me, stay in touch with me if you need any help. So that's been the most powerful thing in my career at the end of the day is helping others, getting through rough patches of their life. All the accomplishments, I don't actually care about them. I would, I, I don't, all my people know, I don't ever sit there and talk about what I've achieved. Like, I don't really care about it. I think that's all a bit superficial, but the platform that I have now is amazing, what I can do with it.

• 42:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? As a professional, we assume that complete control is a demonstration of brilliance. When the reality is that when you're playing something you love, it's natural to be passionate.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 43:13Jay Shetty?

  And like, I think, I mean, I'm not an athlete, but as in, even if I'm playing football with my mates.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:18Jay Shetty?

  If I miss a shot, someone misses a penalty.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:21Jay Shetty?

  I could take it very seriously.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:23Jay Shetty?

  And I don't see, that's a sign of passion and care and enthusiasm and energy. It's not a sign of.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Oh, not caring.

• 43:29Jay Shetty?

  The not caring or being angry at someone or being mad at my mate. It's my mate. He's always going to be my mate. But in that moment, it's like, dude, you should have put that penalty away, right? And, but we've tried to make, especially in tennis.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:42Jay Shetty?

  It's almost like there's no space for passion and personality, especially in tennis.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a very, look, it's a, it's a wide privilege sport. So I was again, I was behind the eight ball from the get go, you know, I was coloured, had some, you know, big personality, wore the emotion on my sleeve. So I was always trying to play against so many more people than just so who was down. Beating the best players in the world is already hard enough, you know, the training every day, the diet, the, the, the discipline, that was already hard. But me, it was like I was playing against millions more people every time I went out on the court. And I think that's why I'm a bit more exhausted than the average tennis player now. When someone goes out there. They're not, they're just playing against who's down the other end, but I was playing against the media. I was playing against, cause I knew that every little thing I did was under such a microscope. And even if I had a flawless match, it was like, oh, that's how he should be anyway.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  But then the minute I did something bad, it was like, oh, here it is. See, that's his true colours. I was like, I couldn't win. I actually couldn't win. And then if I was well behaved and disciplined, it was like, oh, nah, it's boring. So it's like, okay, which one do you want?

• 44:44Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  And that's how I've always felt like on the tennis world, that they haven't embraced me. And that's why I've got such a big chip on my shoulder now with the tennis world. It's like, I don't know anyone, anything anymore. So that's been the biggest, it's just been a whole, like a walking contradiction my entire, my entire career.

• 45:02Jay Shetty?

  It sounds like a lot to carry.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is, it is. And I think that's why I fell into that dark space, cause I knew that I couldn't win no matter what I did.

• 45:09Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. How does this, I wanted to show you this.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 45:12Jay Shetty?

  This one.

• 45:15Jay Shetty?

  Take a look at that. It's uh, from the Bus Open, Stuttgart, June twenty twenty three, I believe.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  Don't look happy.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, and I was just, this was when me coming off my knee injury and I had a pretty, pretty serious operation. And I just knew that physically I probably wasn't ready to go. And it's hard because even when I don't play or, you know, even during Covid, I, the tennis world used me as a kind of, one of the key marketing points to keep, I guess, the sport afloat whilst during that period. And, and that's been one of the hardest things as well. It's like, from a sport that's given me so much negativity and, you know, kind of treating me like an outcast, they still use me as, you know, someone that they wanna, you know, put on the front cover for, you know, tickets or getting people to be there. So it's like, I know that I just get treated so poorly in the tennis world. It's like, it just,

• 46:10Speaker 01

  honestly, I look at that photo, I just look, I'm just spent. Like, I just, so, there's just no energy there. And it's sad cause I'm just in front of a camera doing another interview because the tournament needs it. Yet I know that if I, which I did go on to lose that match, got, got hate for it. So.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. It really is.

• 46:32Jay Shetty?

  Are you trying to heal your relationship with tennis and the industry like for yourself? In the sense of, it almost feels like you have, you carry, there's validity to this, of course, like you carry like a sense of like pain and stress and victimhood to the industry because there's been so much pain caused to you. Is there any part of you that's trying to heal that so that you're not carrying that bitterness towards the industry?

• 46:58Speaker 01

  I think so much damage has been done from, I guess, because when people ask me like, if you had your time again, would you ever pick up a racket? And I genuinely have thought about it and I don't think I'd ever play the sport. Like, I don't think I'd ever pick up a tennis racket. And that's such a scary thing because it's like my whole life has been built off tennis. And if I had this again, like to go again, I wouldn't play tennis. And I think that's,

• 47:22Speaker 01

  that's so hard and it's so dark. Like, my whole life now revolves around what I've achieved on the court. But then if I could do it again, I wouldn't ever want to pick up a racket. And that is like, and I'm genuinely being honest. Like, I've had conversations with myself about it. But I don't think I can repair the damage that, I guess, the sports brought upon me and just anyone. Like, the amount of stress that it's put on my family has, you can't heal that. Like, you know, about six months ago, someone came to my house with a gun and pointed at my mum to steal my car. And I never thought that I'd bring that up. Like, I live in Australia in a nice neighbourhood, like where things like that just don't happen and it's just been hard. Like, I never thought I'd deal with things like that. And like the trauma that my mum has now gone through and

• 48:07Speaker 01

  yeah, I don't think I can repair my relationship with tennis at all.

• 48:10Jay Shetty?

  Wow. I mean, that's, yeah. It's amazing that you've been able to kind of take care of yourself and your family and figure it out because a few years ago, I interviewed Dennis Rodman. And it was one of the toughest interviews I've ever done because he was in a really bad place at the time. I don't know him personally, so I don't know if he's better now or, you know, where he's at. But all I remember was that in that interview, he was Like I asked him what his purpose in life was and he said to survive another day. And that's where he was at. And a lot of it was because of how he'd felt treated by the media.

• 48:52Jay Shetty?

  Cause he was like, you know, Dennis Rodman was everywhere when, you know, not only was he successful on the court, but off the court, his whole life was documented in so many ways. And, and he was the wild card too, like in his, in his persona. And it's just fascinating to me like, it's almost like until someone crashes or until someone burns, we don't realise how heavy media and like, I don't think our brains are wired for millions of opinions to write about us and our performance and our families and our life. And I think the amount of people that are now dealing with that today, who are in the spotlight constantly has only increased.

• 49:35Jay Shetty?

  There are more people in the spotlight, there are more people criticizing people in the spotlight. And I don't think we've ever stopped to think about, and when someone is as honest as you,

• 49:50Jay Shetty?

  you can only empathise to think, yeah, we don't realise the damage we're doing to people. Because I don't think it's tennis that you're mad at as a sport. The activity, it's what comes with it, is what it sounds like to me.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, definitely.

• 50:03Jay Shetty?

  It's not playing tennis.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  No, because I, I enjoy it. I think tennis is a great sport and everyone who plays it, I'm like, it's, I can see how it's enjoyable and it's, it's great for you. But yeah, it's more so, I think, Kari Irving, you know, I love some of his stuff because he says like, I don't think people want to say that words can actually hurt someone a lot. And I've told, I had, I've said the exact same thing, like fame and social media, it's all manmade. Like it's, someone's not supposed to deal, like supposed to wake up and then see such negativity feed into their brain constantly, every day. And like, how, how do you expect someone to just perform or just survive with that much negativity? And I have conversations, obviously you would not understand, but I have conversations with some of my friends about it.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  No one can understand that because it's like, It's not normal, like you're not supposed to see all that negativity, you're not supposed to deal with it. And I don't know, I guess I've kind of run out of answers or solutions as to how do you deal with that? Like, yeah, you can speak to people about it, but it's so overwhelming and how do you stop it? And you're right, until someone really crashes and burns, then you're like, I think we pushed it too far, but that's human nature. We all take things for granted and we all don't understand our actions until, you know, there's a reaction. But yeah, I mean, I don't like to word it in the sense that I'm just surviving, every day I'm just surviving, but it does feel like that for me. Like, that's why everything's a bonus. Like, if I'm here tomorrow and I'm enjoying it, I'm eating Chipotle and I'm going to watch a Lakers game or a Clippers game,

• 51:34Speaker 01

  like, that's amazing. Like, that's awesome. I never thought that I'd still be here doing those things. But obviously Dennis just couldn't obviously articulate any other way. Like, that's how it is. That's how it feels like at times. And just a bit dark to say it like that, but.

• 51:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, he was in a dark place.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  But I guess that's just what it feels like for me half the time as well.

• 51:52Jay Shetty?

  What I was saying is amazing that you've been able to be more upbeat and kind of positive. And I hope you keep finding that because just from the few moments we've spent, I could tell you like, you like having a good time. You like, you like smiling, you like laughing, you like, you know, like, there's a positive energy that surrounds you from the moment you walked into my home today.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 52:13Jay Shetty?

  And I hope you always hold on to that because you have that natural ability to make people feel good and, and have a positive energy. And I hope you never lose that because it is, seems to be who naturally who you are.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:26Jay Shetty?

  It's so easy to go down the other track. How have you managed though with your relationship too? Like, obviously you're quite public about your relationship. Like, how have you managed to maintain that in a positive way as well? Because that seems to be a positive part of your life, a part of your life you like sharing.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 52:41Jay Shetty?

  A lot, a part of your life that you were talking about earlier, like, but having a relationship in the spotlight is very challenging.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 52:46Jay Shetty?

  So how have you managed to keep that in the spotlight, but then also keep? This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.

• 53:26Jay Shetty?

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• 54:11Jay Shetty?

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• 54:54Speaker 01

  Well, I was very, that just comes from experience as well. I've had relationships prior that, you know, were toxic and they didn't end up going well. And I think the thing I love about my relationship now, we have such strong boundaries and respect for each other. Like, we don't, and with social media and relationships in general, like, boundaries can be a bit soft. And I think, you know, I come from a background where my parents have been together for nearly, you know, forty years.

• 55:17Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  And they're, you know, they're still, they argue and they, they joke with each other, they get on each other's nerves. And, you know, I spoke to my mom about it. She goes, patience is the biggest thing in a relationship, where communication and patience. And I think, like, my girlfriend's a bit more, a bit younger than I am, but we've, we've sat down, we've, we've set our boundaries and respect for each other. And I think that's why it works. Because we understand that if being in the spotlight's brutal, like, for relationships, there's always going to be people trying to tear you down, send a message here or there, like, even liking a photo, like, these types of things. And I've now realised that I have to be diligent with these things because it's a respect thing. Like, on social media, I guess that's like, who you are in today's day and age is who you are, who are you on Instagram? Who are you on Twitter? So you have to make sure that you're ticking every box on those sort of platforms.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  But yeah, like, and my girlfriend gets it and she listens to me. If I hadn't have all these experiences, she wouldn't listen. So she knows that I've been through a lot and, and she trusts me as well. So she's very, she does listen and we have a great relationship. Yeah.

• 56:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, the, the boundaries part is so important.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  It's so important.

• 56:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  You know, like, if, I, I always have this example, like, you know, like, if, if, if she was like, pregnant with my kid and my phone just popped up with like, you know, girls just like liking my photo and stuff, like, that plays a part in that builds up, you know, tension and then it just explodes. So, you know, I try and tick every box and make her feel comfortable and respected and especially, it, it's heightened because we're in the spotlight so much. So I try and, I try and do everything I can to make her feel comfortable.

• 56:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, it's, uh, you know, I think it was, I remember my wife and I had been together for like, three years before.

• 56:57Jay Shetty?

  No, we'd been together for, we'd been married for three years and together for six years before we did something together publicly on social media.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 57:07Jay Shetty?

  And I felt that that was so important for us because we'd been together for a while, but then when social media started to take off for me and, and the content that I was making, we were just still like finding our foundations and like figuring it out. And I can't imagine if we would have been active on social media together

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 57:29Jay Shetty?

  in any way earlier than that for us. Because I think I was just figuring out what it meant for me, then she was figuring out what it meant for her. And I feel like a lot of people, it doesn't matter whether you have a platform or not, we're not having those conversations.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 57:43Jay Shetty?

  And figuring that out with another human being.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 57:45Jay Shetty?

  And even now, even till this day, my wife has different priorities on social media and what she wants to share than I do.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 57:52Jay Shetty?

  And it comes with so many interesting question marks, like we had someone asking us a question of like, oh, like, well, you post about your relationship, but she doesn't like, does that mean there's an issue?

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:03Jay Shetty?

  And I was like, no, it's just, we have different ways. Like, I love sharing about our relationship. She likes keeping it a bit more private. Like, that doesn't mean that there's an issue.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 58:13Jay Shetty?

  But it's so fascinating how everything gets taken out of context.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think most relationships, the problems stem from social media. And, you know, I've got friends that have very healthy relationships with different standards on social media, like you said, but I feel like to give the relationship the best chance of working, you need to see eye to eye on those things because in my previous relationships, the sta- the standards on social media weren't the same. And they weren't as respected on both sides and it didn't go well. But here we have, we see eye to eye and I think it's a crucial part of it because again, social media, what, what is it like? I didn't grow up with social, I had a flip phone and, and I remember the first time when Instagram became a thing and it was like, you used to share a picture of a flower and stuff. Now it's like a whole business.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  It's like, it's just evolving and it's changing. So I think you need to have, it's so important to have these conversations because they, unfortunately, it plays a huge part in relationships. It does.

• 59:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Another thing that came up on social media was your interaction with Drake.

• 59:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:13Jay Shetty?

  That you posted. Did you ever get together?

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Well. The thing is, we didn't, our beef was so ridiculous. Like, I was nineteen and I just said, I came out slow, so I'm not gonna listen to Drake. I said it jokingly and then he came out and said, oh, who is this guy? I'll chop him down. And I was like, alright, you're five, you're like five nine, I'm six foot four. And then, um, and then he reached out after Wimbledon and then I, I went back and I would love to. I mean, I would love to get him on, on, on my stuff, but I mean, I also respect, these guys have so much going on, you know, in their life and if they speak to me or send me a message, that's a bonus. Yeah, it comes, it comes back to all that being a bonus. So I do love his music, I'm just gonna say that.

• 59:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, so do I.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good.

• 59:54Jay Shetty?

  And, uh, but no, it's funny, but that, so that was an old conversation.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, an old conversation.

• 59:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was funny, that was funny. No, I mean, I think, I mean, watch it, I think you guys doing a podcast today would be dope.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  That would be cool.

• 1:00:04Jay Shetty?

  I think it'd be really good. Let's put it out there. I think, I think that'd be cool. Like, that'd be, that'd be awesome to watch. No, it's, I, I love what you keep going back to, man. I think it's, you know, I've met so many people who have achieved incredible things, but they've lost that childlike view of it. They've lost that, not that they've lost gratitude, but they've lost that feeling of like, oh my gosh, I can't believe this. Like, that feeling of magic and it feels like you've held on to that.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  That, I think that's the only thing I, like even just driving to your house today, like I was like, this is insane. Like, I just, I love, yeah, I just love, like, I have utmost respect for everything you've created. Like, you must just look back at your journey and be like, wow, like, this is sick. And I love reminding people of like, not that they need it, but like, it feels good when someone comes into you and actually is like, dude, well done, like, good stuff, cause I can only imagine how hard you've worked for everything here. And like, I feel like the normal person doesn't really realise how hard someone has to work to achieve all this. You didn't just put your hand into a raffle and pull it out and be like, okay, I'm Jay Shetty now with all this, like. And I just love making people feel that way.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  And it's because it's, you know, we all started from, from something so small and I think that's so cool.

• 1:01:20Jay Shetty?

  And and you still and how you find a way to still let yourself feel that way?

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, sometimes I I I like making myself feel good and it's not in an arrogant way. It's like I I just think I've done some pretty cool things like, you know, whether it be on the tennis court or collaborations with people like it's a it's cool. And I think for the viewers that are gonna watch this, like, it's not like you just, we just started in this position, like we were just normal people. And we didn't really ask for everything that came with it. We're all trying to figure it all out.

• 1:01:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What's been your proudest moment off the court?

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  I guess anytime I'm with my family and, you know, we're having a good dinner together. We might be eating at a restaurant and just all together, just any moment like that for me now is the best. I just feel like we were, because during that period when I was really unwell, I didn't talk to my family at all. I didn't, you know, speak to them. They, I gave them, I put so much stress on on my family. And now when we meet up and we have a gathering and we're all there and we're just having some good laughs, like those are the my my favorite moments now, like the simplest of things are so, make me so happy now.

• 1:02:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Do you do a lot together during the holidays coming up?

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're gonna, there's so many, you know, we have the annual Curios Christmas party, like things like this.

• 1:02:33Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about that. Tell me about the annual Curios Christmas party.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  So every every year, there's like in Canberra, like three to four hundred people come through our house during the night.

• 1:02:41Jay Shetty?

  Three to four hundred people?

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  And then they're coming and going. There's always a theme, like this year it's Gatsby. So everyone's gonna be in suits, cigars and stuff. So it's good. Last year was like superheroes, supervillains, like those types of things now are amazing. Like, I can't wait to just see all my loved ones, family and friends. And that's what I look forward to now. And yeah, I guess everything that I achieve is, and then people like ask me that, they're like, no, you're just being humble. It's like, no, I genuinely just love simple moments like that. So good.

• 1:03:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. What's, you were talking about you've been inspired by the next generation. Walk me through a moment you've had with like a young fan or or one of those moments that you feel like that stays with you and that keeps you motivated and keep going.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Well, I guess my game style is, you know, unorthodox and, you know, I'm playing crazy shots in crazy moments. And when people send me videos of like their young kids playing, they're trying to hit a tweener or they're trying to serve like me, that that's cool. I think someone that I kind of look up to is like Allen Iverson. You look at his basketball game and you look at the culture he left, you know, the way he dressed. And he's some of his press conferences are hilarious. And I think he had his own style and people wanted to be him. And I think when I, when it's all said and done, there's going to be so many people around the world trying to play like me and play the shot that they're not supposed to play. And because it gives them that thrill. So I think if if that carries on at the end of my career, that's that's something pretty special.

• 1:03:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's very cool. I remember, I still remember the Allen Iverson Reebok, I am what I am adverts. I don't know if you had Reebok back in Australia back then, but in the UK we had these ads. And it used to just say, I am what I am. And Allen Iverson kicked it off and it stayed with me ever since that day, even though, you know, I I maybe never didn't even follow the brand or the sport that much. Yeah. But still it stayed with me.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like the definition of that. Like, I just love his press conference, so good. Because he was just like a human. He said like, I cry just like you guys, you know, I'm not the best every day. I don't feel like working, I don't feel like showing up, but and you expect me to do all these things. And I think, yeah, we're just normal people towards athletes or people that, you know, have a lot of things going on, like they just lose a bit of compassion towards those people, I think.

• 1:04:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you've mentioned crying a few times. I was wondering, when was the last time that you like really cried or something that really made you cry?

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  I probably could have broken down a couple of times during some of this conversation, but I try not to, um, I try to control it a little bit more these days. I just feel like I used to cry a lot, you know, I've had conversations with my, you know, my mom, heaps of people, I feel like I can break down so often just because things are just so raw. And they just have, it's like if you pull the wrong string, I feel like at any moment in time, I probably could. Get really emotional, but I I think we do need to be a bit stronger than that at times. Um, but yeah, I I my dad, I draw a lot of strength from my dad, you know, he's, he never cries and he's always, he's like the strong person in our family. So I try and look, I looked up to him a lot with that type of stuff. So, yeah. I mean, I I used to cry a lot, yeah.

• 1:05:40Jay Shetty?

  But do you see, do you still see crying as a weakness or you've seen it as a good outlet as well?

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  I mean, you're obviously feeling that way for some reason. I think it's not good to let it in. It's not good to bottle it up. During this conversation, I I felt like crying and because you've touched on things that are so emotional. And I think that if I don't try and be stronger, then I'm always gonna, you know, someone's gonna watch this. Like, I don't want them to think it's like the only way is to open up and cry about it. You can be strong about things and I still feel like crying, of course I do, but I feel like I need to be a bit stronger than that.

• 1:06:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's an interesting, I I like that kind of nuance because of course I believe it's healthy to cry. I think it's necessary to cry sometimes when you feel a certain way. But at the same time, I agree with you that the ability to know you feel like crying, but keeping it together, not for performance or not for the sake of how other people feel, but you're almost strengthening your ability to deal with an emotion.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:06:39Jay Shetty?

  Is an interesting nuance because I feel like the world used to tell men like you can't cry.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:06:44Jay Shetty?

  And then it became like, you should cry. Yeah. And then, and then there's like this in between, which is the reality of like, I can relate to what you just said, where I'm like, I like crying sometimes, I think it's important. But then there's sometimes where I'm like, no, actually, I wanna be able to hold myself. Like, I just gave a, it was my sister's wedding, like, two months ago.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:07:05Jay Shetty?

  And I didn't anticipate how emotional it was gonna be. So my sister's like five years younger than me.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:07:11Jay Shetty?

  She's been my baby ever since she grew up. She's a little kid for me.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:07:15Jay Shetty?

  She's short as well. She's shorter than me. So it's like, she's literally like a child. And I knew her wedding was coming up and all the rest of it.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  You prepped yourself for it.

• 1:07:24Jay Shetty?

  I I kind of prepped myself, but I didn't realise how emotional it was gonna be. And Indian weddings are like.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  Huge. I got, I got, I got, I got a guy, he's, he's gonna be watching this for sure. He told me about, he sent me all the videos, nuts. You guys are crazy.

• 1:07:37Jay Shetty?

  It's crazy. So it was five events over seven days.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:07:40Jay Shetty?

  And every event has like three hundred people.

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:43Jay Shetty?

  And so we're out there and I was more emotionally drained.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:47Jay Shetty?

  After that week than I am for my whole year of like giving and helping and everything that I do. That was the most emotionally moving week of my entire life. And I walked my sister down the aisle and if you watch the video, I'm literally trying. And I'm doing what you just said you had to do. I just had to hold back.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:08:05Jay Shetty?

  Cause I knew if I cry and she sees me cry, then she's gonna cry, then her makeup's gonna go bad. Then then she's gonna be mad at me later that I made her cry on her wedding day.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:08:14Jay Shetty?

  And so I'm holding it back. And then my wife thought about it ahead. She told her, she goes, don't look at him during the wedding ceremony. Cause he's gonna be crying. And so my sister avoided eye contact with me the whole ceremony. Cause the whole time I was crying. And it was just fascinating to me because I've probably not cried that much.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:08:32Jay Shetty?

  Ever in my life. But there were times when I had to hold back for her sake.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:08:36Jay Shetty?

  And there were times when I let it out.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:08:38Jay Shetty?

  And I like that you brought that up because I do think that we've gone from one extreme to the other extreme of. Men never cried to men should cry all the time.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:08:47Jay Shetty?

  To figure out that healthy balance.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's with anything, like you get injured, you break a bone, it heals, you get stronger. So like, it's not to. Say that you shouldn't acknowledge the pain or acknowledge crying, but trying to stay strong through those moments, I think is just as important. Of of realising, yeah, you're hurt, you're hurt and those are touchy topics. But how are you gonna, every time someone brings it up, are you just gonna cry or are you gonna be able to? Talk about and educate other people that are going through the same thing. You know, I think you've got to be a beacon. Um, and just, yeah, hold it together a little bit.

• 1:09:16Jay Shetty?

  What's your days looking like right now? Like now that you're in your element, you're having a good time. Things are opening up, you're doing new creative endeavours. What, what does your day look like right now and what are you loving about it?

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, my team comes with me for these opportunities and obviously like, you know, I I kinda. It's all insane, the fact that I have these options now. And so obviously, training is a big part of my day still. You know, obviously rehabbing through, you know, surgeries and and just maintaining that strength whilst you're not playing is a big thing. You can get pretty. You know, relaxed with it and you can lose years of work in in couple of months. So, you know, I'm trying to stay on top of that. And then with doing all these things, I feel I just got a new passion because I I love communicating with people. I love learning about people and I love helping. I just love entertaining, giving the audience something different than what they've seen from me the last ten years. So just all these types of things, training, you know, seeing the world with my girlfriend is is is.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  I know that we're extremely blessed, you know, ninety five percent of relationships. You don't get to travel, you don't get to do the world like we get to do it. So I know that I'm extremely blessed in that department and a little one percent of NBA games, I love basketball, so yeah.

• 1:10:23Jay Shetty?

  You've been watching?

• 1:10:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I'm watching. We might be going tonight to the game too.

• 1:10:27Jay Shetty?

  Oh, nice. Who's your team?

• 1:10:28Speaker 01

  I'm a Boston Celtic fan.

• 1:10:29Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  So being in L A is tough.

• 1:10:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:33Jay Shetty?

  What what's been the best country you've visited or favorite place that you've visited? Maybe with your girlfriend, even on your own, that that's kind of like left a mark.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Well, Australia is the best place in the world. I'm just gonna say that. It is. Every person that goes.

• 1:10:43Jay Shetty?

  I love going to Australia. I had the best time, like, out of my whole tour, I had so much fun in Australia. It was amazing.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Australia is the best place in the world. I I love the States personally, just because of the sport. You guys, the sport here, like nothing else. But my mom is half Malaysian. I'm half Malaysian, my mom's Malaysian. So every time I go to Malaysia or, you know, any Asian country, I love the food, like, you know, my mom cooks. I'm not just saying this, my mom is honestly one of the best cooks in the world. And I've grown up with such a good food background, so I love, I could live in Asia hands down. But the States, probably somewhere there. I mean, I'm half Greek. Europe's nice, but Australia is the best place in the world. It's the best place in the world.

• 1:11:23Jay Shetty?

  Where in Australia, if someone had to visit, where should they go?

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  I mean, I I come from Canberra and everyone from Australia thinks Canberra is not a very good place. But I love the simplicity of Canberra, like, it's a very, I love coffee, like, I love the cafe scene, I love just chilling. But Sydney, Melbourne, or even Gold Coast, some of that, beautiful places, just such a good lifestyle there, so safe. And you can just do whatever you need to do in Sydney. I mean, Australia in general, so.

• 1:11:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need to go back. I I went for work. And I always feel like when you go for work, it's different.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  Definitely, of course.

• 1:11:53Jay Shetty?

  And so I was like, I was telling my wife, I was like, we have to go back and just experience it. I'd love to come to you for all the recommendations.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, we've got a couple of good spots, a couple of good spots.

• 1:12:03Jay Shetty?

  What would you say now, if there's anything keeps you up at night still?

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I lost my, I lost my grandma when I was about nineteen, after I first broke onto the scene. And she was like my best friend through my childhood, like my mum and my mum was always working. I didn't get to see much of my mum, like my grandma picked me up from school, dropped me into trainings. We slept in the same room together, we had bunk beds, like we were like best friends. And she kind of passed away when things started to get a bit crazy for me in my career, like media. And, you know, I probably didn't spend enough time with her that I would have liked. And I think back to when, you know, we, she was in a nursing home towards the end of her life. And I feel like that kind of really bothers me. I feel like tennis took time away, not tennis itself, like you said, the sport, just everything that came with it. Took special time away that I should have had with her.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  And I was so young and naive to say to these people, no, I don't want to do it. Like, it was like the time where, you know, money was coming in for my family. I was changing my entire family's life. So I felt like that, that sits with me and that's painful because she was my best friend. And she, I guess she maybe understood it, maybe she didn't. So I feel like if I could spend some more time with her, instead of doing media or an interview or business or something like that. I guess I wish I could have more time with her, but hopefully she's up there watching and proud of everything that I'm doing now. And, but yeah, I guess that, I think about that, you know, all the time.

• 1:13:25Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, that's, that's, that's a tough one when you can't do anything about it now.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Can't change it.

• 1:13:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you can't change it. Those are the ones that are like, you know, it's, it's tough thinking you could have done more. And you're so young too, and like your career is taking off, like it's so forgivable in that sense. Like, you know, it's. How would you know at nineteen what to prioritize and what to focus on? And you're living the dream in one sense. And like you said, you're changing your family's life. It's it's hard it's hard to deal with that. And I guess, would you say, it doesn't sound like that's a regret, though? It does it sounds like it's something that's kind of.

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I used to think it was like I used to really be upset about it. And I I was regretful of doing everything that came with it. I was like, I hated tennis, I hated everything that came around it. Because I was like, we just I just kind of, I didn't leave her, but I kind of just didn't spend as much time as I used to spend with her. So now I've come to understand it, like I was young, I didn't, I wasn't educated on, you know, these things that I had to be doing. So I I guess I've been a bit nicer to myself on that on that topic. But I still think about it, like unfairly think about it at night time.

• 1:14:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, it's it's amazing how the mind works, right? Like, you can literally avoid something the whole day.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:14:41Jay Shetty?

  And somehow at night, it comes back.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:44Jay Shetty?

  And it just like, almost like on clockwork, like on time.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:14:48Jay Shetty?

  It's so fascinating. How have you found a way of switching those thoughts off?

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  Um, I guess I just realized now that that's just more love and more time that I wanted with her. So I'll try and look at it as a positive, like, why am I always thinking about this moment? Why is it always coming up? It's just because she meant a lot to me and that's, you know, I have so much more stuff that I wish I could just sit down with her now and speak about everything that's been going on. And, you know, she would love it. She was the ultimate jokester in our family. She had, she was just a free spirit. And I feel like that's where I get some of my personality from on the court. So if I could just sit down with her now and just chat about things would be amazing. And I guess that's what I just try and turn into a positive. Like she, I just got so much stuff that I want to talk to her about. And I feel like, yeah, if if she was here during that dark time, I don't, I think I would have got through it a lot easier. But, yeah, I guess I just turned into a positive.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

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• 1:16:07Jay Shetty?

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• 1:16:51Jay Shetty?

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• 1:17:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, there's also, you've said that, you know, after the Wimbledon game with Djokovic, you felt like you could have won it. And there was a feeling like, you could have done that, that could have been it. How much does that play on your mind?

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  A lot that I was two sets away from winning Wimbledon and you know, if I played anyone else on planet that day, I felt like I would have won. So yeah, I mean, now I'm at peace with it, but for the three to four months after, that was like an everyday. It was like, not just a nighttime thing. It was like, what could I have done differently? Every time I was in the gym, every time I was on court, like, why didn't I, you know, that was my opportunity. Why didn't I just grab it? But now I understand like the more he achieves now, the more I'm nice. I'm like, okay, no, everyone's trying to still figure this out. But um, yeah, I mean, look, nine, more than 99% of the world hasn't figured out how to beat him on a, on a consistent basis. So I can't be too angry about it.

• 1:18:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I like that perspective. That's, that's a good mindset to have. Yeah. And but it's so interesting, right? Like, I can totally empathize with that idea of how you can be so harsh and heavy on yourself for like three to four months. Cause you can overanalyze. How have you mastered the art of limiting overanalysis? Or what have you learned about stopping overanalysis to the point that it becomes a weakness?

• 1:18:36Speaker 01

  Well, tennis is a, is a sport where you have to be a good loser because every week you're, you're losing. Unless you're one of these top guys who is winning consecutive tournaments, you're experiencing a loss every week. And you just have to pick yourself up and go again in a different country, different surface, different time zone. So you just have to just be really good at understanding what you've done wrong, moving on and just going again. Cause one week, one to two weeks in tennis can change your life. You're gonna have 30 bad weeks in a row. The minute you have one really good result, things change for you. So you have to, that's what I love about tennis. You have to learn to bounce back quickly. And I think it's, that's a life lesson. Like you're gonna experience ups and downs. Things are gonna be horrific for a couple of months. They might be great. So it's like riding the wave and being kind of equal through everything.

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  And just backing up and going again. Consistency is, you learn that from tennis so early on, which is cool. I like that.

• 1:19:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  Where other sports, you have an off season. So you have like a period of time to say, well, what I need to get better, I can get stronger. With tennis, there's no off season. It's like every week, it's a new tournament. So you can't be too down when you lose. And then when you win, it's like, but you're playing tomorrow. So you gotta just start again.

• 1:19:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What's something in life that you've had to learn the hard way?

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  Um, hmm.

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  That's hard.

• 1:19:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, take it hard.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  I don't know, let me ask you that question.

• 1:19:52Jay Shetty?

  What, something I've had to learn the hard way?

• 1:19:55Jay Shetty?

  Here's a hard question, so let me take a second too.

• 1:20:04Jay Shetty?

  That no one's coming to save me.

• 1:20:08Jay Shetty?

  That no one, no one magic person is gonna discover my abilities, my qualities and help me become the best version of myself, that there's not gonna be one person who just...

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  Activates it all.

• 1:20:23Jay Shetty?

  Activates it all and makes it easier and shows me the path and clears all the, you know, clears all the obstacles and says, Jay, just walk this way and...

• 1:20:33Speaker 01

  Like when you put something in iPhone Maps and it tells you which direction to go.

• 1:20:36Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, like someone who's gonna come and show you the map of life. And no matter how much someone cares or doesn't care, it's, that's not there and I think I've, I think I just had this inbuilt belief since I was young that someone else was going to discover me and help me.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:20:56Jay Shetty?

  And it was only when I realized that that person was me that life became easier, but it took me a long time to learn that. And you know, they talk about it in dating, especially for the way women were raised, but it's called the Disney princess syndrome. This idea of like how Disney made young women believe that one day your knight in shining armor will come and save you and there'll be this perfect guy who has everything figured out and you'll kiss a frog and he'll become a prince and all these ideas. And I think we all carry that in some ways, so I think that's been really hard for me. And I think the other one was what we were talking about earlier, like...

• 1:21:38Jay Shetty?

  I think something I've had to learn the hard way is I deeply believed that when I achieve a certain level of success, that everyone will like me.

• 1:21:49Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:21:50Jay Shetty?

  Or that when I make it to this level, that everyone will recognize my struggle and my pain, and everyone will acknowledge how hard I've worked.

• 1:21:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess that's that's probably been my biggest one. Like, I wish people, like, when I meet new people, that they're just like how I am with people that have achieved things. I'm so grateful. I'm so like proud of them in a way. And I don't even know these people, but I'm like, wow, you must have worked really hard. Like, that for me is like, I wish people would give me more, just maybe a little bit more credit from time to time, you know, just of some of the things that it's been hard. It hasn't been like an easy journey at all for me and for I'm sure anyone in a position of achieving things. It's been so hard.

• 1:22:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And that can be anything, right? Like, I think we're talking about everyone.

• 1:22:36Speaker 01

  Everyone, just anyone.

• 1:22:38Jay Shetty?

  If you're someone who's just figuring out how to pay the bills for your family, or you're taking care of your kids.

• 1:22:42Speaker 01

  You deserve a little pat on the back. You deserve to sit down and maybe be made to feel good a little bit about things, you know?

• 1:22:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:47Jay Shetty?

  And it's almost weird because we think of that as cheesy.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Jay Shetty?

  And we think of that as like, I'll get over it, like, you know, just, but I feel like we all need, me and my friend talk about this, my best man at my wedding, my best mate. We talk about this a lot, about how we all need a sense of acknowledgement.

• 1:23:02Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:23:02Jay Shetty?

  And recognition for what we're doing.

• 1:23:05Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:23:05Jay Shetty?

  And a lot of the time, that scene is like soft, or it's seen as like, oh, you shouldn't need that, like, get over it.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  I think it's motivating. Like, I think it makes you want to achieve more when people recognize, okay, you're doing really well. You're on the right track. Keep going. It's not like, it's not arrogant, I think, to just sit down and recognize that I've come a long way. I'm on the right track and what I'm doing is very special. I think that could be motivating in a way, rather than seen as like soft, or why do you need credit for that? Like, it's like, you're not doing things that every single person is doing, like that you're doing, obviously, something about you is special, your, your, you know, your details, or you're ticking everything off the box, like, that's, you shouldn't need acknowledgement for that.

• 1:23:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What's a, is there, is there a moment that?

• 1:23:51Jay Shetty?

  You wish you had acted differently in a press conference or in a game. A moment where you look back and think, you know what, actually, I'm better than that. And I'm, I'm such a, I'm a nice guy. That's not me. That was so far from who I am, that I actually don't feel good about.

• 1:24:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've had so many moments like that. I mean, I could go on YouTube now. And I guess the thing about tennis is when you finish a match, you only, you, you have to do media like so soon to when finishing. So you haven't had time to digest any sort of emotions. So you go in there. And the thing about it now with me, I walk into a room with about 50 people all ready to attack me. They're not actually going to ask me about, oh, how did the match play out? They're going to just nitpick and come at me in an aggressive way. And I haven't had time to digest. I haven't even eaten after four hours sometimes. And then when I did that time on Piers Morgan, he's like, this guy's so rude. He's so, such, so disrespectful. I played for four and a half hours. I needed to eat some food because for my nutrition and my preparation. So it's like, I walk in there and I have had no time to digest. I haven't.

• 1:24:52Speaker 01

  And then these people are just going at me and then I retaliate. And for me, oh, I'm not, that, that, that's fine. You should be able to retaliate. But then I look back at all the people that are watching this, kids, and they see I could be disrespectful to someone that I don't even want to be that. But in that moment, I just haven't had any time to just reflect on what's just happened. And I feel like, yeah, I do, I do regret sometimes on how I've acted on the tennis court or in a press conference. Because it's, it's not that version of Nick Kyrgios that I want people to, like millions of people to watch and say, oh, that's how he is. What a prick. You know what I mean? But that's not me. And Australians in general, we have a bit of that, like where if you come at us, we'll, we'll retaliate in a way of,

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  you know, we'll make you feel it too. And I guess that my upbringing where, you know, the bullying and stuff, I've always had that chiboshada where I'm in a position to give it. I'll give it a little bit, you know? So I don't feel proud of making other people feel bad. And I think that's just more of a retaliation of, I know how much it hurts, so now I'm going to give it back to you a little bit. And that's not, that's not a good thing to do, especially after, you know, in a press conference where millions of people are going to see it.

• 1:25:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  See, I definitely have some regrets with that. Yeah.

• 1:25:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, especially when it's not you.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  It's not me. Yeah.

• 1:26:00Jay Shetty?

  I think that's, I think that's the hardest part, right? Like when something's you, there's a certain understanding that you have with it. But when you feel like that's not me.

• 1:26:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:09Jay Shetty?

  Like I, I, I can empathize with that. Like if in any conversation or anything that I've done. More offline where I've not acted like myself. It's almost the hardest thing in the world. Cause I'm like, God, now I've shown someone a side of me that's not me.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  Exactly. And then they run with it. They're like, oh, look, look how he is.

• 1:26:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:26Speaker 01

  And I'm like, that was like a 10 minute press conference, you know? It's not even at all of what I actually, what's the kind of person I am at all. So yeah, that's been, that's been hard.

• 1:26:37Jay Shetty?

  And it's interesting, by the way, it is interesting to understand the context of you're playing for four and a half hours. You haven't eaten like, it's good to know, well, you know, like the human side of like, if you're watching a press conference, you're not thinking it through that deeply.

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  No, you're not.

• 1:26:51Jay Shetty?

  You're just like, oh, this guy just come off the court, like whatever, like, you know, it's what we do. And it's interesting because I'm like, yeah, if I was hungry for four and a half hours and I'm just played and I get asked a question that annoys me. I could imagine retaliating too and being defensive.

• 1:27:04Speaker 01

  Like exactly, if, if the player had, you know, if you came back into the tennis court the next day and had a whole night to reflect on the match, moments where you were great, moments where you weren't, you could just speak calmer about situations. Like when couples have a fight, sometimes having, figuring it out then and there is not the best thing. You know, you need some time away, you need to reflect, you need to have a conversation and come back. And when you're both calmer, like rather than when the emotions are high, you just turns into an absolute explosion. So yeah, I mean, that's the same thing.

• 1:27:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  And you're not walk, I'm not walking into a room where they're empathetic that I lost. They're like, oh, why'd you lose for? Why'd you act like this? It's like, okay, you, you attacking me now I'm going to go back at you and then, yeah, so.

• 1:27:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and it's the trap.

• 1:27:43Speaker 01

  It is, exactly. And that's the, that's the articles and the headlines they want.

• 1:27:47Jay Shetty?

  It's the game they want to play. Yeah, who is that? Who is the basketball player who had a really good response? Was it Yanis?

• 1:27:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And he's like, do you, you know, if you don't get a promotion, do you see that as a bad year? Like exactly, everything's building to, you know, losing is not always seen as a failure. Why is that? So.

• 1:28:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:28:04Jay Shetty?

  No, it was, what is the joy? Tell me, tell me how it feels.

• 1:28:08Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:28:08Jay Shetty?

  To break a racket. How, how does that feel?

• 1:28:11Speaker 01

  It does feel good.

• 1:28:11Jay Shetty?

  It does feel good, doesn't it? It does feel good.

• 1:28:13Speaker 01

  Sometimes it feels good.

• 1:28:15Jay Shetty?

  When does it, when does it feel good and when does it not feel good?

• 1:28:17Speaker 01

  I guess it doesn't feel good when I know it's detrimental to what's going on. If, look, when I know, when I get to that level of anger, I know that it's not helping me. But sometimes, you know, if I've lost the match and, you know, the, the match is over and I go to my bag and I see it there and I know that I've got all this anger built up and I let loose, it does feel good. The timing of doing those things can help your performance or, you know, cause sometimes I've seen in my experience about other athletes like Djokovic and Serena Williams, all these legends of broken rackets. But the response after that's the key component. And sometimes you need to let off the steam because you're expecting more from yourself. And I feel like the response, if you're going to come back with energy and, you know, say, all right, I did that. Now it's time to reset. That, it can actually help you in a way.

• 1:29:01Jay Shetty?

  Walk us through the balance of when anger is helpful versus when it becomes destructive. What is the way you found it?

• 1:29:07Speaker 01

  Cause I've been angry where I've broken rackets and then I become, you know, a smart ass with the umpire. And then I'm, I'm actually not concentrating on what I need to do to win the match. It's like, I'm more pissed off at myself. I'm more pissed off at the umpire. Where I've had times where if I break a racket and, you know, I walk back to my bag and I'm like, all right, here we go. You've, you've done that now, you know, it's time to reset. You know, we, we're not playing well, but now how are we going to change that? So I feel like the discipline of doing, and these great players have shown that, and they start playing better and they end up winning the match. So it's hard because you don't want to make it seem like a violent act because then kids are going to be like, oh, it's okay to throw rackets. It's okay to, but that's why I think the response after that's more important. It's like, hey, he did that, but then he started playing unbelievable.

• 1:29:49Speaker 01

  So something must have clicked in his head after he did that. So I guess it can be positive, but you don't, I'm not going to sit here and say, yeah, smash all the rackets in the world. No, no, not at all.

• 1:29:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, that, that's a, that's a thoughtful response. Like I, I can appreciate that. Like, I can definitely see how getting that kind of competitive spirit out

• 1:30:09Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:30:09Jay Shetty?

  in a physical act can be like helpful.

• 1:30:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:14Jay Shetty?

  I can, I can recognize that.

• 1:30:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:16Jay Shetty?

  And unless it hurts someone else, which it isn't.

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:30:19Jay Shetty?

  And so it's, it's interesting how, like you're saying, like the greats do it often.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:30:27Jay Shetty?

  But. The responses, like how did, how did that help you process things?

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:30:32Jay Shetty?

  Versus how did it lead you down a dark hole?

• 1:30:34Speaker 01

  It's like a complete reset almost. So, yeah, and I've, I've seen it all the time. Like I've seen Djokovic, Alcaraz, Serena do these things. And it's like, okay, they realize they're not playing up to their standard and they go back and you see them breathing. And then there's like, they've done that. It's like, it's like they've reached a limit of playing really bad and now it's time to switch that.

• 1:30:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  So it's good. I mean, it can, it can be used as a reset.

• 1:30:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. How much has meditation and breathing or mindfulness been a part of your world? Or is that something you're discovering or you've been practicing for a while?

• 1:31:02Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm just, I'm, I'm in complete work in progress. Like people think that I've got my stuff figured out and, you know, I have a nice routine. Like people don't realize that having a routine is harder than doing something different and having stimulation every day. That's easy. Like having, waking up and doing something different is so easy every day. But can you get up week in, week out, monthly, yearly, doing the same routine, having the discipline? Like that's, having a routine for me is probably the hardest thing ever. And that's been my weakness in my career is consistency. Okay, played great that week, but can he show up now? And I haven't proven, I guess that's what I haven't proven is I've been, consistent enough to make it this far. But am I consistent enough to be a champion? Probably not. And I know that. So I think I'm just a work in progress, whether it's meditation, whether it's breathing.

• 1:31:47Speaker 01

  Like I started Pilates like two months ago. I never thought that I'd ever stop Pilates. Like when my girlfriend went to Pilates, I'm like, I started laughing. I started doing it. I'm like, oh my God, this is hard. This is hard as. I'm still trying to figure out like breathing for me is a big one when I'm on court. I, I, I really am mindful of my breathing, but am I? I don't even think I'm at that point of discipline or consistency yet to meditate. I can't even, I hate being alone with my thoughts still. Uh, I still have extremely dark thoughts. So I think I just try with easy, you know, consistent habits, you know? Go for a walk to get a coffee in the morning with my girlfriend or, you know, just these lighter things. Um, having a routine for me is incredibly hard still. And people with routine think, oh, they're boring, you know?

• 1:32:28Speaker 01

  No, they're just, they're really disciplined and consistent with their work and that's, that's really healthy.

• 1:32:34Jay Shetty?

  Routines and disciplines are, I mean, yeah, they're so hard to build.

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  So hard.

• 1:32:38Jay Shetty?

  So hard to build, easy to break.

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:32:41Jay Shetty?

  So easy to fall off, so hard to get back on.

• 1:32:44Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:32:44Jay Shetty?

  And so powerful when you get them right.

• 1:32:48Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:32:49Jay Shetty?

  And yeah, anyone who can keep a discipline together every day is it's it's it's a serious achievement.

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  It is.

• 1:32:56Jay Shetty?

  What what's the most difficult emotional thought that you deal with regularly still? Or an emotional thought you struggle to deal with still?

• 1:33:05Speaker 01

  Um, that I'm not enough. I think that was the biggest one I think I I struggled with was I'm letting people down and I'm not enough. And that's from, you know, millions and millions of opinions that have just built up over time. And I I can see, you know, when I lose a tennis match or when I don't achieve things, I can see sometimes my even my family get disappointed. And that's just, it just ate me up for so long, like going on social media saying, cause I was supposed to be the next per after the big three. It was like a Kukirio is gonna take over the mantle. He's gonna be the one for fifteen years, you know, being professional, winning grand slams. And I think I look back on my career and I didn't even get close, not even a quarter of what people thought that I should have achieved.

• 1:33:48Speaker 01

  Um, with the talent that I have and I still deal with it. It's like.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  I'm never gonna achieve what all these people thought I was gonna achieve, but I've had tough conversations with myself in the mirror saying like, am I okay with not maybe winning a grand slam? Am I okay with not achieving? You know, I am, I I I I'm okay with that. But it's still hard because it's like, I know that my family would love that. Like they maybe would they they would prefer me being that type of champion or this person. And I really did struggle with that early on, like it's it's hard. Everyone wants you to be something that you're not. But the one thing that they kind of understand more is that I'm happier being this this way. I'm I'm happier just being myself and having some fun and and just doing it my way. And that's that's I'm so thankful that the most important people are, they can just understand.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  I'm not saying that they that's what they want, but at least they can understand it now. But yeah, that's been that was the hardest thing, I think, for me.

• 1:34:42Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, that makes sense. Nick, you've been incredible, man. This has been, uh. What I really appreciate about you is the. Genuine, authentic, raw, real answers. Like, I can tell when I'm sitting with you, I'm listening to someone who's not. It's interesting, in a press conference, it seems like you don't filter the combativeness.

• 1:35:05Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:35:06Jay Shetty?

  And today, I'm like, you're not filtering to make yourself look a different way or appear a different way. You're just being who you are, and I really appreciate that because I think we all need to to make sense of it, and I think a lot of us who are struggling with that feeling of not being enough or not living up to the expectations of our family or not having achieved the goals that everyone else thought we'd set out to. I think that's more of us in life than the people who go on to achieve everything.

• 1:35:36Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:35:36Jay Shetty?

  And the interesting thing is even the people that go on to achieve everything that everyone wanted them to, they're not happy either.

• 1:35:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:42Jay Shetty?

  Because they often find that they went and won at things that they didn't care about.

• 1:35:46Speaker 01

  And they lost themselves.

• 1:35:47Jay Shetty?

  Then they lost themselves, and so I know that this is going to resonate with a lot of people, but as you know, we end every On Purpose episode with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

• 1:35:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:36:00Jay Shetty?

  And so, Nick Curios, these are your final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  It's never as good as it seems, and it's never as bad as it seems.

• 1:36:12Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. Who said that? Where did you learn that?

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  So Simon, he was one of my tennis coaches, and I feel like that was very tennis specific, because when I was on court, I had the talent to like amaze millions of people, but I always went on court and tried to do that. Where he was like, you don't have to do that. These people are paid to come watch you play just because of how you just are. So I always was like, okay, maybe I don't have to try as hard. And then when I was playing bad, I used to think I was playing horrific, but then he was like, you're bad for most people is still amazing, so it's not that bad. And then I started carrying that to everyday life, like when I was having some really bad moments. And everyone thinks when they're going through a struggle, they're like, this is the worst part of my life. And I'm like, this is not the worst part of your life, you're just going through a bad phase.

• 1:36:58Speaker 01

  So that's why I'm never too high anymore with some amazing achievements. Like when I was in the finals of Wimbledon, to most people, is an amazing achievement, and it is, but I wasn't like. So I carry my trophy everywhere with me and I'm like, you know, I'm I may find like, you know, I just, you know, it's an amazing achievement and it's it's it's in the past now. So I think just being able to ride the the highs and the lows the same. I think when you're able to do that, it's you can just navigate through life a little easier. And, you know, that's the that's actually the quote above. The Wimbledon Court is when when when you can look at a victory and a loss the same way. That's when you've, you know, conquered life a little bit. So I think.

• 1:37:34Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:37:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's like the final thing you see above the core as it's opening up. I'm not sure that's the exact quote, but it's along those lines. So that quote there is very similar to that. You know, it's never as bad as it seems, never as good as it seems.

• 1:37:44Jay Shetty?

  Nice. I love that. Uh, second question. What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:37:49Speaker 01

  It's not that simple. I don't like, I think about when I've had my success, you know, I've eaten healthy. I've been active and I've just worked hard. Those it's it. It really is simple for everyone. I think if you just break it down into nice, simple categories, you're gonna get the best out of yourself and you and you're gonna have success, whatever, whatever that is. Success is different for everyone, but it's not that simple. The amount of times I heard that in school and from tennis coaches, from everything, it really, if if they told me it's simple, like do these things and you'll probably get the best out of yourself. So, yeah, it's not that simple. I hate I hated hearing it because it really was. To get in my position, it is quite simple.

• 1:38:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  It's it's hard, but the the steps to getting it, it's it's actually very simple.

• 1:38:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's not easy, but it's simple.

• 1:38:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, I agree. I would agree. Uh, question number three. What's something that you've been trying to unlearn?

• 1:38:41Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a that's a hard one because I've had to unlearn nearly everything that I thought. Like, because, you know, I meet so many people. I'm not really following your rules of keeping it short, am I?

• 1:38:51Jay Shetty?

  That's cool, man. It's good. They're good answers.

• 1:38:53Speaker 01

  But, um, a lot, you know, I've met so many people and I thought that. I'd meet a lot of, I thought I'd meet a lot of cool people and good, genuine people on the way, but I've been really disappointed. I feel like, I feel being in our position, it's hard. Every time you meet someone, you don't know if anyone genuinely wants to be your friend or hang out with you or, you know, go to dinner with you because we're good people. Or is this, do you wanna just be around us because of, and that's just a common struggle, I think, that I deal with every day. I really do struggle with that. Cause I'm a genuine person. I only wanna hang out with you if I think you're cool and you're, you got a good heart. So I think I, I, I thought that a lot of people, I'm trying to unlearn that everyone has good intentions. I felt like everyone should have that and everyone doesn't.

• 1:39:37Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. That's, yeah, and that's a hard one. That's a really hard one. And I, I can resonate with that too. I think sometimes it's really interesting, right? Like when you're, I feel like sometimes if I get along with someone or I feel like a natural sense of chemistry with someone, I can come on quite strong, but I'm just being who I am and I'm okay with that. Like I'll be like to someone, hey, we should hang out or whatever.

• 1:39:59Speaker 01

  I'm exactly like that.

• 1:40:00Jay Shetty?

  And, and I like living that way because to me, that's how I've made some of my best friends. If I wasn't like that.

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're always sheltered. How are you gonna experience like the good times?

• 1:40:10Jay Shetty?

  Totally. And, and I've opened myself up to that. And sometimes people are like, oh, maybe he has something that he wants. So like, I'm like, no, not really. I'm just, that's just who I am. That's how I was raised.

• 1:40:18Speaker 01

  You just feel good.

• 1:40:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. And so I, I, I can relate to that. All right. Question number four. A rule everyone should break and a rule everyone should follow.

• 1:40:28Speaker 01

  Hmm. I prefer the follow one, I think.

• 1:40:31Jay Shetty?

  Go on.

• 1:40:32Speaker 01

  Hmm. Oh, I don't know. I'm gonna give that to you. I'm gonna give that to you. I can't answer.

• 1:40:36Jay Shetty?

  The rule everyone should break?

• 1:40:37Speaker 01

  Yep, yep. I, I, I actually, I, I can't answer it.

• 1:40:42Jay Shetty?

  I've never asked it before. I just got inspired to ask it to you.

• 1:40:45Speaker 01

  Rule everyone should break.

• 1:40:46Jay Shetty?

  I'm just trying to think of rules that the world sets that we think everyone should break. And so let me think of a rule, the way I would think about it is what are rules that we were all told, like even unwritten rules that we all heard since we were young, that now I look at it and I go, ah, we should break that rule.

• 1:41:06Speaker 01

  And you expected me to answer the question and you.

• 1:41:09Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, I want to give a genuine answer because.

• 1:41:12Speaker 01

  I know, but you're so, the way you have answers to pretty much everything.

• 1:41:17Jay Shetty?

  But I like, I like to be thoughtful because it literally, I came up with that question right now just for you. Like it was a moment thing. It wasn't a, the, I would say that like an unwritten rule or like a rule that I think everyone was told to follow was like, I feel like when you were growing up.

• 1:41:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:41:32Jay Shetty?

  You were told to fit in.

• 1:41:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:41:34Jay Shetty?

  And then when you get older, you're told to stand out.

• 1:41:37Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:41:37Jay Shetty?

  Right? It's like, if you want to be successful when you're a kid, fit in.

• 1:41:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:40Jay Shetty?

  Wear the uniform, stand in line, do well in school. It's like, everyone's told to fit in.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:41:45Jay Shetty?

  And then as you get older, if you want to win at whatever career path.

• 1:41:49Speaker 01

  You've got to be authentic.

• 1:41:49Jay Shetty?

  You've got to be different. You've got to be authentic. It's like, wait a minute. And so instead of fitting in or trying to stand out, the rule to break is to say, well, I'm not going to fit in or I'm not going to stand out. I am just going to learn to discover myself.

• 1:42:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:03Jay Shetty?

  And I think it's not even about being you. I think that's the cheesy answer of like, just be yourself. I don't think it's about being yourself. I think it's about discovering yourself.

• 1:42:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:42:12Jay Shetty?

  And getting to know yourself.

• 1:42:13Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:42:13Jay Shetty?

  And so the rule we need to break is stop trying to fit in or stand out. Just get to know yourself.

• 1:42:19Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:42:19Jay Shetty?

  I think that.

• 1:42:19Speaker 01

  Figure it out.

• 1:42:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, just figure it out is what comes to mind anyway. So.

• 1:42:24Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:42:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we'll go with that. You just keep flipping them back on. I like it. It's smart. It's a good tactic. It's good PR training. Yeah. This is a masterclass in PR training from Dick. Fifth and final question, if you could create one law, we ask this to every guest of all time. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:42:45Speaker 01

  Before you criticize someone, you have to do what they do for one day. So like if someone criticizes my tennis game, they need to get on the court and try and play. Or like if I was criticizing someone that I had to go, I think that should be a law before you. If, if you're willing to criticize, then you're going to be that person for one day and deal with everything that that person deals with.

• 1:43:05Jay Shetty?

  That is a brilliant answer. I love that. We never had that on the show and I love that.

• 1:43:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:10Jay Shetty?

  That would be amazing. If you actually became that person for a day, you had to swap lives.

• 1:43:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:15Jay Shetty?

  Anyone you judged or criticized, you had to swap lives with them for one day.

• 1:43:20Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:43:21Jay Shetty?

  That would be phenomenal.

• 1:43:22Speaker 01

  And it's not like a, it's not like a holiday.

• 1:43:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:24Speaker 01

  It's like a business day.

• 1:43:26Jay Shetty?

  It's not.

• 1:43:26Speaker 01

  It's not like a party, like a Saturday night going out. No, it's like the, the working day. Yeah. Because then I would think, I would think twice.

• 1:43:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:35Speaker 01

  Like I, I've criticised basketball players, anyone, I'd be like, oh, you, or, and then it's like, all right, you wanna do the day thing? Oh, actually, no, I'm good. Cause I think a lot of people in my position would, like, they would freak out, I think. If I had to go out and play a match in front of the stadiums, then do the press conference and then deal with the criticism. And they had to real, like, feel the realness of it all. They wouldn't wanna criticize again.

• 1:43:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I like that law, man.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a good law.

• 1:44:02Jay Shetty?

  It is a good law. It's a good law. Nick Kyrgios, Nick, this has been such a joy and pleasure, man.

• 1:44:07Speaker 01

  Appreciate it.

• 1:44:07Jay Shetty?

  You totally over-delivered and for what it's worth, from the moment we started messaging to meeting you today, to having this conversation, you're a genuinely nice guy, man.

• 1:44:18Speaker 01

  I appreciate that. Thank you.

• 1:44:19Jay Shetty?

  And I've enjoyed every minute we've spent together and I look forward to many more.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:44:23Jay Shetty?

  Genuinely.

• 1:44:24Speaker 01

  It'll be fun.

• 1:44:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's been fun.

• 1:44:25Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:44:25Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man.

• 1:44:26Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:44:27Jay Shetty?

  If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.

• 1:44:36Speaker 04

  Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem solve and parents and coaches have become more directive and trying to tell them how to behave versus teaching them how to behave.

• 1:44:46Jay Shetty?

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• 1:45:30Jay Shetty?

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• 1:46:17Jay Shetty?

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• 1:46:23Speaker 03

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