Ashley Graham: ON Body Shaming and How to Stop Negative Self Talk

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Supermodel, designer, and barrier-breaking body activist Ashley Graham. Ashley opens up about how she went from hating her body to loving it and making it her purpose to encourage others to do the same. She discusses how your words become your truth and why it’s so important to stop negative self-talk. She dives into how exactly we can start doing that. She also answers the internet’s most asked relationship questions and shares more about her own journey with her husband. I learned so much from this conversation and I know you will too! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

  Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:09Ashley Graham?

  How are you speaking about yourself in front of your kids? Because that's how your kid is going to actually think of themselves because they know they're a product of you. Whether they're adopted or whether they are actually physically yours, there is no way that they are going to look at themselves any differently.

• 3:29Jay Shetty?

  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thank you so much for being a member of this community. Thank you for committing to self, work, love, and life every single week. And you know, I have this commitment to all of you. You take out of time out of your day, whether you're walking your dog, whether you're on the way to the gym or at the gym, whether you're at the work or you're commuting back home, you commit to taking your time for being here and I commit to you to bringing guests who can truly transform the way you live, work, and think. And today's guest is absolutely incredible. She's someone who's become a recent friend. I'm excited to get to know her more and more every time we're together and she's someone who's not going to disappoint.

• 4:12Jay Shetty?

  She doesn't really need an introduction, but I'm going to give her one anyway because she liked the words that I had on my sheet.

• 4:18Jay Shetty?

  But her name is Ashley Graham. She's an incredible supermodel. She's breaking barriers through body activism and she's a style icon and designer and she's the host of an incredible show on Ellen Digital Network called Fearless. Ashley, thank you so much for doing this.

• 4:35Ashley Graham?

  Hi, Jay. So happy to be here.

• 4:37Jay Shetty?

  I'm so grateful to have you here.

• 4:38Ashley Graham?

  Thank you for having me.

• 4:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 4:39Ashley Graham?

  Hi, everybody.

• 4:42Jay Shetty?

  I love it and I'm so glad because we literally met, I think like a month ago.

• 4:46Ashley Graham?

  Yes, at the Ellen DeGeneres, like kind of launch, they they have their, what is it called? The upfronts?

• 4:52Jay Shetty?

  Upfronts, that's it, upfronts in New York.

• 4:54Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 4:55Jay Shetty?

  And you're launching season two of Fearless.

• 4:57Ashley Graham?

  And I was already a fan of Jay Shuddy, that I was already following you, it was already the thing. And you weren't following me yet, that's okay.

• 5:04Jay Shetty?

  That's not true.

• 5:04Ashley Graham?

  But we're friends now. No, I'm just kidding. But it was so nice and then and then we had a nice, really great lunch and here we are.

• 5:12Jay Shetty?

  We did and I actually didn't know this, but I told her that day when we met, I was like, Ashley, I've been stalking you for a long time, actually, because I I saw you speak at the Forbes 30 under 30 event in Israel.

• 5:22Ashley Graham?

  It is real.

• 5:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. So I'd seen you from then and then we bumped into each other at UPW in LA.

• 5:27Ashley Graham?

  Yep.

• 5:28Jay Shetty?

  And then and then we met here and actually this was, this is what really impressed me about Ashley. She was attending the Met for like the 25th time or whatever it is.

• 5:36Ashley Graham?

  Third.

• 5:36Jay Shetty?

  Third, right.

• 5:37Ashley Graham?

  But you know.

• 5:37Jay Shetty?

  So she was attending the Met.

• 5:38Ashley Graham?

  25th, third.

• 5:39Jay Shetty?

  And and everyone that week was telling me how busy they were with the Met and getting ready. Then Ashley was like, do you want to do lunch one day before the Met, like before our fitting? And I was just like, he is such an awesome human who has time to have lunch and I mean that.

• 5:50Ashley Graham?

  I don't know, Jay. I I really think that people just want to be like, they want to get their relaxation in before the Met because it's such a crazy day and evening, but I always have time for lunch.

• 6:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 6:01Ashley Graham?

  Always.

• 6:02Jay Shetty?

  Well, thank you. And you you looked amazing at the Met.

• 6:04Ashley Graham?

  Thank you. It was so much fun. Dapper Dan really did a great job.

• 6:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it was incredible. It was amazing.

• 6:08Ashley Graham?

  I loved it.

• 6:09Jay Shetty?

  Today, I'm excited to dive into your journey, your story. I can't wait for my audience to learn more about you and fall more in love with you as well.

• 6:16Ashley Graham?

  Oh.

• 6:16Jay Shetty?

  So really, really excited to do that. And I want to start where it all began for you and being spotted at a mall.

• 6:23Ashley Graham?

  I know. It's so weird. I think, you know, so that's really where I was discovered as a model. But if you take it back and you go back to like how I was raised, I'm from, I'm from Texas, Atlanta, Arkansas, New Hampshire and Nebraska. My dad was a business consultant, so we moved around a lot. And every time he got a better job is when we were moving. And from there, I mean, my mom, she was raised as a farmer, in a farmer family. And my dad was low class. Um, a working class um, kind of family. So when they raised me and my sisters, it was really about like being humble, working hard, and when you start something, you finish it. So when I was in the mall and the scout came up to me and said, hey, do you want to be a model?

• 7:07Ashley Graham?

  It was another opportunity that my mom and dad saw as something like, oh, maybe she'll like this thing. Because I didn't love basketball. I didn't love soccer volleyball because my mom and dad also played a lot of sports. They just kept putting me into sports. I also was not artistic at all. Like, these are just, you know, I, it's like I wasn't good at anything. And then modeling came about and they're like, let's try it. And next thing you know, it just kind of all stuck with me. And um, I went through what someone might call like a modeling school, but it was kind of like this expo where they put you um, in front of many different agencies and you kind of have to prance around and like, I don't know, show your stuff. And an agency liked me and signed me.

• 7:49Ashley Graham?

  And um, it, it was just like all very surreal. I had no idea what modeling was. I didn't know what Vogue was. I didn't know what pretty meant. I knew like what being the, the most, the like having, being the most popular in high school or middle school was, but I did not know what beautiful was until I got into this industry that dictated what beauty was. And then that's when it was like a whole new world for me. And I moved to New York at seventeen. I had modeled all through high school and I traveled, I traveled the world and even when I got home from Paris all the time, my mom would still be like, you have to mow the lawn, Ashley. This is how I was raised. I was like very humble. She's like, I don't care how much money you just made.

• 8:31Ashley Graham?

  It doesn't matter. You still have to babysit your sisters. So I was like, okay, great. Well, thanks, mom. Everybody in Paris loved me.

• 8:40Ashley Graham?

  But it was, it was interesting because it was like two different parallels of what beauty is. At home, my mom raised me to believe in myself and that my exterior had nothing to do with my worth. And I'm saying she raised my sisters the exact same way. She never looked at herself and degraded herself in front of the mirror, never said she needed to go on a diet. She was very strong. Strong and adamant about those things and that kindness was the was the most beautiful thing that you could wear. And then I'm in this world that is only based off of your exterior. That is about your worth with your hip, your size, the hip measurement, with how beautiful your hair is, what your eye shape is. You know, you, you don't, you're not supposed to have a voice as a model. There's so many, it was just very strange to me.

• 9:24Ashley Graham?

  So I knew who I was from my mother and my, my father growing up, but then I had to conform to an industry that I wanted to fit into. And the reason I think I wanted to fit into it because it was a whole new world. It was like tasting a new piece of candy. It was, people offered, you know, obscene amounts of money. They offered you to, to feel like you were in. They offered you the opportunity to, um, to be cool. And those are things that I had never felt afforded. And now it's like, oh, do I want those things? What do I have to do to get in? And you, you start to see yourself, um, kind of make changes in your own belief system

• 10:07Ashley Graham?

  to fit into an idea or an ideal that was set that doesn't need to be. And that's exactly what happened. It was, it was just kind of this like messy spiral downfall where I had to catch myself really quick before I fell into it.

• 10:22Jay Shetty?

  That's so powerful though, that you had this incredible upbringing.

• 10:26Ashley Graham?

  Thank God I did.

• 10:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, like your relationship with your mother and just how she spoke to you about beauty and your family. And I think that that's so unique and rare today as well. Because I know a lot of people who'd actually say, actually, because of the way I was raised, that's where a lot of my insecurities come from.

• 10:41Ashley Graham?

  I know because.

• 10:42Jay Shetty?

  As opposed to their strengths.

• 10:43Ashley Graham?

  I talked to a lot of moms and I always tell them like, how are you speaking about yourself in front of your kids? Because that's how your, your kid is going to actually think of themselves because they know they're a product of you.

• 10:53Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 10:54Ashley Graham?

  Whether they're adopted or whether they are actually physically yours. There is no way that they're going to look at themselves any differently. And I've seen it in all spectrums with mothers that have said, have never said anything bad to their parent or to their kid, but have talked very badly about themselves and you see the product of the child. And, um, you know, and I've, I've met people who their parents have talked really poorly to them and they're some of the most confident people. So. You know.

• 11:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it can go either way.

• 11:22Ashley Graham?

  It really can.

• 11:23Jay Shetty?

  It can go either way. But how did you, tell me this, because I think you're someone who, at such a young age, went through so many huge transformations.

• 11:30Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 11:30Jay Shetty?

  So many huge transitions.

• 11:32Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 11:32Jay Shetty?

  Right? It can't be easy being spotted, traveling all over the world, making all this money, being signed, all of this at such a young age, being brought into this huge industry, which already has expectations. How did you start watching yourself catch yourself? Like, how were you able to notice when things were going too far? Because I think a lot of people miss that, when they start working for a new company and they start fitting in, or they

• 11:56Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 11:56Jay Shetty?

  join a particular business school or university and they start fitting in, or whatever it may be. For you, you did it in the most extreme sense. So I'd love to know.

• 12:02Ashley Graham?

  Of course. So just being thrown into an industry that, like you said, it's the money, it's the travel, it's the experience, and then it's also about staying in that kind of like it mode.

• 12:15Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 12:15Ashley Graham?

  And the thing about being a curvy model is that at that time, you only were in basically one category, and that was catalog. So I didn't have to be like an it girl on the runway that had to like keep my hair in like a buzz cut and like platinum and then like have it long for next season, just to like feel different. Like, I just had to make sure that I was doing all the things that that the industry expected of me. And whether that was talking how they talk, or or or losing the weight that they wanted me to lose, or I'm dressing the way, or whatever it was. But the thing is, because I was raised in a very Christian upbringing, and because I was raised with such understanding of of my worth,

• 12:59Ashley Graham?

  and except for, I wish my mom and dad would have talked to me about sex a lot more. I really do. Because because I knew who I was, thank God I could stand up for myself. But because I didn't understand sex and what it was to have worthiness over myself, that's where my downfall was. Because I didn't have a great relationship with my father. And in trying to fit in to this fashion world and not knowing who I was, and people telling me, oh, you're not good enough. Oh, you need to lose weight. Oh, your hair is. Oh, or your eyes or whatever it was, your hip measurement. It was like, oh, then I needed to go find my worth. And then I would go find my worth in food. I would find my worth in men. I would find my worth in gossip. And that's when I really realized at 18 years old

• 13:44Ashley Graham?

  that I was on this spiraling downfall of hating who I was. I was working. I was making great money. But when you're working and making great money, but you feel really crappy about yourself, there's nothing that will bring you joy at all. So I called my mom and I was like, Mom, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not, I don't want to be a model. I want to leave New York City. This is just something that has gotten to me. And she told me, and I swear to God, my mother is so prophetic. She said, Ashley, your body is going to change someone's life and you have to finish what you started. And I was like, I have no idea what you're saying, lady, but I'm going to listen because we're supposed to listen to our mommies and dads. And she said, I'm going to come up to New York and I'm going to spend some time with you.

• 14:29Ashley Graham?

  Cause I was really just going through a hard time. And she told me, she's like, okay, you have to start going back to church. I was like, what? I don't want to go to church, Mom. But you know, you, well, you're raised in that atmosphere. And then your mom is like, okay, this was her rule. Like you only, I only had to go to five churches and one time and just to feel it out. And the first church I walked into, I saw three people that I had known from my church in Texas that I had gone to. And it was like this, it was like a sign. It was like, wow, I see family in this church. So I started going to this church and I finally, finally found like a, um, a community.

• 15:12Ashley Graham?

  And it was like outside of the modeling industry. It's, it's like I had my whole life wrapped up into these people who didn't know me, who didn't want me because I wasn't fitting into an ideal. So then I started making friends outside of it all. And it's like, I went back to my roots. I went back to who, who am I? And thank God I did because it took me out of that nasty feeling of not feeling, feeling worthy. I stopped having sex. I was completely celibate after that. I, um, I, I, I just, I started actually doing affirmations. And it was something that my mom talked to me about. And I had no idea what they were.

• 15:52Ashley Graham?

  But she said, because, because we are Christian and we really, we really believe that words have power. And I know that this is like many people that believe this, but it's like one of the biggest lessons in the Bible. And so she broke it down for me and she was like, if you keep calling yourself ugly and fat and, and not worthy and all these things, then that's exactly what you're going to be.

• 16:13Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 16:13Ashley Graham?

  So she said, change your words. And that's what I had to do and it really helped me as well. And it was something, the words that I made for myself were, I am bold, I am brilliant, I am beautiful, I am worthy of all, I love you. And I love you was the hardest one of them all. And it wasn't like I just said these things and overnight it like bada bing bada boom, like, oh, I'm a misconfidence. It was really, it was inner work, it was outer work, it was dedication to knowing that I could change the trajectory of my future by having these words be my truth.

• 16:53Ashley Graham?

  And having these words be my truth has now enabled me to tell my full story and have other people's stories come out and talk to them about what affirmations are and, and, and how your words are really killing you. So thank God for mom.

• 17:09Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 17:10Ashley Graham?

  She really pulled me out of the pot. It's been really, it was really great.

• 17:13Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful. What an incredible relationship to have. That's awesome. And I thank you for sharing so openly as well, because I think so many of us start to validate ourselves through a partner.

• 17:25Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 17:25Jay Shetty?

  Right? Through men or women.

• 17:26Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 17:27Jay Shetty?

  Through food.

• 17:28Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 17:28Jay Shetty?

  We start to validate ourselves through all these different ways and we don't even know we're doing it. And so here you say, I'm sure a lot of people, a lot of people listening and watching right now are going to be like, God, I've done that too.

• 17:38Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 17:38Jay Shetty?

  And I was sharing just literally, you've, you've hit it for me two weeks ago when I was doing Red Table Talk with Jada. I talked about that, how I would find my validation in how I treated women. So it wasn't even what I got from them. It was just like, if I could show off how amazing I was during my teens, then that would make me feel more validated if they were impressed by me.

• 17:58Ashley Graham?

  I know.

• 17:58Jay Shetty?

  And, and I think we get lost in this web and we're just weaving this web and you're just getting more and more lost and trapped and you don't even know.

• 18:06Ashley Graham?

  And you feel so empty.

• 18:07Jay Shetty?

  And you feel so empty, even if you're externally successful and ticking all the boxes.

• 18:11Ashley Graham?

  Doesn't matter.

• 18:12Jay Shetty?

  It doesn't matter. And, and the fact that you broke through it, because I do feel that, and I said this to you when we met. You've literally shifted an industry. Like you, you have changed the industry from the way I view it and from the way I experience it. And from the way so many other people experience it now.

• 18:28Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 18:28Jay Shetty?

  And I mean that. And the fact that you've been able to go from a place where actually all of these things were forced upon you, to you now having a really powerful voice, right? Being able to share all these messages around it. I think that that's a transformation. I'd love for you to walk us through.

• 18:43Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Jay Shetty?

  Because I think that's the story of everyone. Like your story is the story of everyone, maybe not as extreme.

• 18:49Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 18:49Jay Shetty?

  But everyone who feels like, yeah, you're not good enough. You're not going to be able to do that. That's not possible. Or it doesn't work like that. Right? And then being able to break that. And I love the affirmation point you made. So let's start with that journey of transformation. I want to hear about how you did the work because I know you have.

• 19:03Ashley Graham?

  Oh, my God.

• 19:04Jay Shetty?

  And it's like, how do you get to the point of looking in the mirror and saying, I love you and meaning it?

• 19:07Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 19:08Jay Shetty?

  Because I agree, I love affirmations too, but you have to feel.

• 19:11Ashley Graham?

  You have to know, you have to know it in yourself, right? And it's one of those, it's, it's, it's really, it's a lot of inner work. And for me, understanding that quiet time in the morning and meditation and prayer is like so, it is, it is the thing that will get me through the day. I will wake up, I will feel terrible, I'll feel my mind will be foggy or whatever. But that quiet time in the morning, whatever you choose to do with it, that is your time. And, and it is so precious to me. So that has been something that has been a staple for me. And the affirmations, I mean, I say them in the car before I walked up here. I was like, I am bold and brilliant and beautiful. I am worthy and Jay and I are going to have a great conversation.

• 19:54Ashley Graham?

  You know, it's like one of those, it's, it's just in me now. So I don't have to recite it constantly. But everybody's affirmations are different, just to wrap up the affirmations. But everybody's are different. And once you make yours and you say it, write it on your mirror, write it on a paper, like actually physically write it. Type it out if you love to type, like whatever those things are for you so that you can embody it. And they can change over time too, which I think is very important. So as you were saying, like that I have, your words that I've changed in industry, it's hard to go back and be like, when did it all begin?

• 20:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I can imagine.

• 20:31Ashley Graham?

  Because for me, I was just this like girl from Nebraska, working my butt off, just trying to like, you know, sustain a $4,000 rental in financial districts. And I'm like, this is what people pay? Like, this is insane. I'm living in 800 square feet. This is not okay. This is why I moved to Brooklyn.

• 20:53Jay Shetty?

  Smart.

• 20:53Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 20:55Ashley Graham?

  But it was, it was just, it was always such a heavy workload and I didn't, I was just, I always felt like I was swimming upstream. And even as my worth developed and even as my, my, my understanding of who I was and that my worth wasn't wrapped up in men, my worth wasn't wrapped up in, in food, it wasn't wrapped up in, in my career. I still struggled and wanted something more in my career. And I wanted to be able to make change in a different way. And I think that where a lot of it began,

• 21:33Ashley Graham?

  where a lot of it began was I was in a commercial that was banned from television because of my size, because I was a long, in lingerie and a girl that was a size 16, I was 16 at the time. I'm a size 14 for all of you wondering.

• 21:49Jay Shetty?

  Everyone was.

• 21:49Ashley Graham?

  Oh my, but people are always so just, you know.

• 21:52Jay Shetty?

  We're still addicted to numbers.

• 21:53Ashley Graham?

  Gosh. Anyways, that's another conversation. Anyways, so I was a size 16 girl in lingerie in this commercial and I was like going to meet my boyfriend. It was banned from TV. And that's really where kind of my career took, took like this trajectory of like, oh, there's this girl and like, maybe we want to get to know her. And that is when I realized, okay, I have a voice. How do I use it? Oh, social media. Okay. So I'm going to use social media to just tell my truth. I don't know what's going to happen, but it wasn't just me that wanted this change. It was so many people in the industry that were like, we aren't just plus size. We're women. Like, we want to, we want to have clothes that fit us.

• 22:36Ashley Graham?

  This isn't just about skinny women being able to be. Dressing cool clothes is about every woman being able to dress and be in cool clothes. So I really use social social media as a stepping stone in order to just have a voice. But I didn't know that that was going to be my biggest stepping stone. So I I remember just like posting photos of myself in in swimsuits or lingerie and not retouching the cellulite out. Shocking and getting all kinds of women just saying like, how brave of you. Or how courageous that you would actually do something like that. I would never. Or like, thank you for giving me the confidence to be able to do that.

• 23:17Ashley Graham?

  And and and I thought, OK, well, this is good. This is like, this is a thing.

• 23:24Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 23:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, people care.

• 23:25Ashley Graham?

  Exactly. And then I realized that there was a there was a hole in the market for lingerie. And that people were looking at me as a lingerie girl. They didn't know my name. But they knew that I was a lingerie girl because of this commercial that was banned. So I was like, well, great. I'm gonna make lingerie for all of you then. And because I could take a step back and look at where there was holes and where I could fill it at the time. Because at the time, I was twenty two years, twenty two, yeah, twenty three, twenty three years old. Because I started also lingerie line because I had been in the same position on the couch. When my husband left for the house in the morning and he came back that same night. And I was like, literally just still watching Real Housewives. And he's like, is this what you want with your life? And I and I was like, what do you mean?

• 24:08Ashley Graham?

  He said, do you really just want to be stuck in this kind of career and this job and doing this same thing? And I thought, I don't. I don't want that. What can I do? And that's when I went and took a step back and made a vision board about who who I want to be, what do I want? And that's when the idea of the lingerie line came around. And it's funny because people who have changed industries and people who have made such impacts in the world. I don't know that they've actually set out to do it. I think it just happens. And I've just taken every little, every little gap that, that has, that has, that I've seen in my industry and I've tried to fill it.

• 24:51Ashley Graham?

  Because if I'm filling it with my voice, then that, then I know that I'm filling it with a voice that is like so many other people who just wanna be included, who wanna have inclusivity, who don't wanna be called different because we are the norm. And it's, it's just a conversation that I've had to keep having, but it's incredible the strides that have happened along with it.

• 25:14Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 25:57Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

• 26:42Jay Shetty?

  We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Absolutely. For everyone who's listening and watching right now, Ashley is gracefully sharing her story, and she didn't even point this out, but it's like you literally took your commercial getting banned from being on TV and turned that into something incredible, which I love.

• 27:27Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 27:28Jay Shetty?

  Because it's so easy for any of us to hit any roadblock, hit any barrier, hit a rejection, hit a no. For most of us, like if our book doesn't get picked up, or if your TV commercial gets banned, or if your movie never made it out of script, or whatever it is, or it didn't make it out of a pilot phase, a lot of us would be like, oh my God, my life's falling apart. Like, I'm not gonna make it, or I didn't get into the college I wanted, or I didn't get the promotion I wanted. But you went and took that same thing, and that actually led to the birth of your lingerie.

• 27:55Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 27:56Jay Shetty?

  Which is just phenomenal. Like, I love that. It's just an example of how any situation can be the biggest blessing in the world.

• 28:03Ashley Graham?

  Yeah. I really, I think of no's as maybes, and I turn my maybes into yeses. And I know that not just one person is gonna give me an answer. So there wasn't a door that I didn't knock on. And I thank my parents all the time for instilling that hardworking ethic in me, because it doesn't matter what you're doing in your career. You understand this, I understand this. You have to work your butt off. And you have to work your butt off even harder when you get to the top, because then you wanna stay there.

• 28:31Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, 100%.

• 28:34Ashley Graham?

  So, you think you're working hard now?

• 28:38Ashley Graham?

  It's true. So I, I, I don't know. I was just, I, I just think that that was a very pivotal moment. And then it all just kind of started spiraling into these great opportunities. And also just being able, I did a TED Talk, which was like also very scary for me. Very scary, but it enabled me to have a voice and so many models were silenced. We were just told that, you know, you're a pretty face, be quiet. And Crazy. It is crazy. Blows my mind. I know because, I mean, we're people, like we have many opinions. We have many things that we're passionate about and we want to change the world. And I actually, in my book, I, I wrote a chapter about when models talk.

• 29:21Ashley Graham?

  And it's, it's really, it's interesting because I had started this group called Alda. And it was me and four other curvy girls who had been switching agencies. And we did it together because we knew if we went to a really big agency that did not have any curve models, we could really change the industry. And we made these business proposals and we talked about how much money we each made and how much money that the whole curve industry is making and where, what the trajectory of the industry is. And we took it as like this business opportunity to really, to, to tell the, to tell the industry who we were, not just as the five of us, but like who we are as curvy women. Yeah. And they took, they listened and, and sure enough, six years later, here we are.

• 30:05Ashley Graham?

  Oh my God, I didn't know that part. Yeah. I love that. I'm so glad you're sharing. You can't do it alone. There's nothing you can do that you, that, that is only going to be you. There's teams that are behind people. There is mountains that are, that you have to climb over to get to these places. And you need people along the way to help you. And I always thank those girls and we stay really close. Yeah. But yeah.

• 30:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I love that you brought up that point. I was sharing the other day that I feel like so many of us, when you're starting in a space, you look at everyone else as your competitor.

• 30:37Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 30:38Jay Shetty?

  And you're like, okay, who's, who's winning in this space? What's my competitor analysis?

• 30:41Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 30:41Jay Shetty?

  Right? Like, oh, she's number one, I'm number 10, or whatever it is.

• 30:44Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 30:44Jay Shetty?

  Actually, what you've just shown is this beautiful example of collaboration, right? Collaborators and seeing everyone. And I remember when I first started making content, for me, it was the same. I was looking at every content creator as someone I could potentially collaborate with. And I would literally write to everyone and just be like, hey, I really believe that we need to share these messages. Why can't we support and share with each other? And a few years later, I've seen the growth of all these incredible other platforms. And we all work together in the same way. So I love hearing that because I think so often we feel alone and we choose a lonely path when we don't need to.

• 31:17Ashley Graham?

  Mm hmm. No, it's so true. And especially in the fashion industry, everything is a competition.

• 31:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 31:22Ashley Graham?

  And it's about the Instagram followers, who's got covers, you know, who's in the campaigns, who's on the, who's on the runways. And it was really groundbreaking for people to see us all band together. And even the agencies were shook by it. They were like, you told each other how much you make? Like, how dare you?

• 31:38Jay Shetty?

  Exactly.

• 31:39Ashley Graham?

  But we had to because we wanted to make sure that we were making the right decision.

• 31:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Oh, go on.

• 31:44Ashley Graham?

  No, it's okay, it's okay. But I was gonna bring up another great story in that even though I did that, I still had to learn another lesson a couple of years later. Where, actually, it was, it was a year prior, my bad. I'm getting my, my timeline all mixed up. But there was a cover that I was up for and it was Italian Vogue. And Italian Vogue in fashion industry is like being on the cover of Forbes in, in, in our, this side of the world.

• 32:10Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yeah.

• 32:11Ashley Graham?

  And it is like, oh, the crumb de la crumb. And I was on hold to be on this job. And the night before I get the call and they're like, you didn't get confirmed, but three other brunettes did. And I was shook. And I thought, okay, there's day two and they told me that maybe I'll get into day two. The next night they called me, they were like, Ashley, sorry, you didn't get it. And I, I honestly went ate a bowl of pasta because like that was like my method of just like coping and healing. And I said to my agent, I said, is this going to ruin my career? These three brunettes, like they're going to take over and they're, they're going to take every job that I've ever worked so hard to get. And he said, don't worry about it. Like you're my moneymaker. You're my star. Nothing will happen to you.

• 32:57Ashley Graham?

  Sure enough, when this cover came out, it was like boom, I stopped working. And these other girls just started getting more and more jobs and more fame, like whatever that was for them. And I was so pissed. I was pissed. I was angry. I was jealous. There were so many emotions that were going on in my mind. And there was nothing that I wouldn't, that I felt like I couldn't have done to get on that cover. But except for just be pissed at that point. And I had this probably three day conversation with myself about what it, what would it have meant to me to be on that cover?

• 33:35Ashley Graham?

  And I talked to myself through what the success of my feelings would have been, all of the, the highs, what jobs I would have gotten, all of that stuff. And I said, but it didn't happen. It wasn't yours. And the moment that I could say that to myself and realize that that wasn't mine. And I forgave myself for getting so angry. It was like poof, it was out of my mind and I could just share it with other people. And it was more of like a funny thing and a life lesson in some senses. And, and then I, and now I can even talk about it today because it was, it was something that, that had me so shaken up.

• 34:18Ashley Graham?

  But now I didn't need that cover. I didn't need that cover to get to the next stage because God works in mysterious ways where he gives you exactly what you can have and, or what you can handle in that moment. And I didn't need it. And he wanted to teach me a lesson on, on just being comfortable in my own space and not having it all.

• 34:37Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 34:37Ashley Graham?

  And I was really, I mean, it took me a while to be okay with that. But, but now I look back and I think, wow, I'm so glad that I was able to handle the situation that I did.

• 34:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Thank you for sharing both human aspects. Like, like I'm glad, I'm glad that you told us about that side too.

• 34:54Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 34:55Jay Shetty?

  And, and thank you for sharing both stories, like the first story showing. Collaboration, community, coming together. But then actually sharing on the flip side. Of course, we all want to win. We all want to do well.

• 35:06Ashley Graham?

  Exactly.

• 35:06Jay Shetty?

  And we will go through moments of feeling extremely angry, extremely upset. And I love that you said you had a three day conversation with yourself.

• 35:13Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 35:14Jay Shetty?

  Which I think is awesome, by the way. Like, I think everyone should set more meetings with themselves on their calendar, right? Like, our calendars are full of meetings with other people.

• 35:20Ashley Graham?

  Oh.

• 35:21Jay Shetty?

  Imagine you actually had a meeting that said, "Me."

• 35:23Ashley Graham?

  Me, I know.

• 35:24Jay Shetty?

  Right?

• 35:24Ashley Graham?

  Like, "Oh, I should do that."

• 35:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. We need, we need everyone to have a calendar on that.

• 35:27Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 35:27Jay Shetty?

  You know, a calendar moment that says, "Me, a meeting with myself." It's the most important meeting of the day.

• 35:31Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Jay Shetty?

  And I just think that it's so awesome that you shared both sides with us. Because I, I do think it's human.

• 35:37Ashley Graham?

  It's about balance.

• 35:37Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. And it's human to want to win and to succeed and to be ambitious. How were you able, from that point on then, to prove it's all disappeared? You're not feeling that envy and that pain anymore? But to pave a new path for yourself and to notice, as you said, in your words, God's plan of paving a new path and a new lesson for yourself. How were you then able to open up to that opportunity?

• 35:59Ashley Graham?

  Well, I think then I just had tunnel vision and that I didn't have competition. It was just everything was about, "What am I doing? And what do I want to see?" And it's been really great to be able to work with people. My team is incredible. And be able to come to them and say, "Okay, this is what I see that, that needs to happen in my career. But this is also what I see that needs to happen in the fashion industry. And how can we fill the void? And how can we fix things and change things?" And it's been really great to be able to work with designers like Prabha Guran and Christian Siriano and Michael Kors. And, and, and just be able to, to have natural conversations about like, what's really happening in the industry? But then also to have the confidence in myself to be able to do those things. And I think now is the time. People want that change.

• 36:44Ashley Graham?

  And the body positive, the body inclusivity conversation has just, poof, blown up.

• 36:51Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 36:52Ashley Graham?

  And, and, and now, now more than ever, we're seeing women and men, honestly, which has been really cool, of all shapes, sizes, ages, colors. I mean, name the gamut. It's like, inclusivity is like, really where it's at.

• 37:08Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 37:09Ashley Graham?

  Um, but. Staying true to who you are is easy when you know who you are. And I think that I'm 31 and through my twenties, I had to really get to know myself. And I had a lot of like what felt like maybe a carpal tunnel because I was just writing a lot about journaling, about who I wanted to be, who, what my goals were and, and all these different things. And, and, and I, when I look back at those journals, I laugh because I feel like I was so immature. Like I really like wanted such little things.

• 37:47Ashley Graham?

  Like I really, like I look and I think, wow, I was so close minded, but I'm so glad that I have that proof to myself, how much I've grown. And, and it's, it's, it's nice to look at the fashion industry and say like, wow, things are really moving. And then be able to look back at the journals and be like, wow. I, I mean, it, it's just incredible to see like the maturity of like everything all at once. So yeah, I, I think that just really knowing who you are and getting to know yourself is really key in whatever industry that you're in and whatever mountain you're trying to move.

• 38:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. So well said. So well said. And I think one of the things that you're really raising that's important to me here is this principle of, we think we have the grandest and biggest plans for ourselves. And then the universe, God, whatever, whatever you want to call it, comes and gives you something way bigger.

• 38:39Ashley Graham?

  Way bigger.

• 38:39Jay Shetty?

  And you just had to stay on that path and every delay really has a blessing.

• 38:43Ashley Graham?

  Yep.

• 38:43Jay Shetty?

  But you've just got to be able to wait and be patient and consistently keep pushing and working. And I think so many people just get off the path before you're actually revealed that, hey, wait a minute. Like your, your ideas were good, but they were much smaller and there's better things in store.

• 38:57Ashley Graham?

  You have to believe in yourself.

• 38:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you have to believe it. No, I love that. And, and you're so right. If you don't know who you are, you can't keep hold of that. And you've had your fair share of the negative comments too. Like when you, when you posted your, you know, when you started to post more transparent, authentic images of yourself. And I love how you have this thing called teachable moment for your haters. And I want you to tell our audience about it because I think so many of us like. You don't have to be a supermodel or an influencer or a creator to be worried about trolls and negative comments. Everyone gets them.

• 39:28Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 39:29Jay Shetty?

  Whether you get one or you get 1,000 or you get 100,000.

• 39:31Ashley Graham?

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:31Jay Shetty?

  And we all get them. So tell us about this teachable moments. I love that.

• 39:34Ashley Graham?

  So for me, I think the natural like human reaction would be like just to have anger back. And, and you know, what good would that do? You know, it's not going to do anything for, for me or for the person receiving it. So I always like to think of it as like you, like you said, like you quoted me already, a teachable moment because not everybody understands where you're coming from. Not everybody understands why you're posting a photo that you are or whatever. So if somebody wants to write something very ignorant, like stop making fat look cool, you're going to kill somebody, then I can write a message back saying that, well, first of all, fat is necessary for our bodies, like in order to live. And thirdly, I'm not making fat, fat

• 40:17Ashley Graham?

  also can be cool. And if you want to call me fat, great. I'm not offended by that word. And, and just having this like conversation and like break down what that person actually said, because a lot of times that person behind the, the keyboard is already so broken. We know this.

• 40:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:32Ashley Graham?

  But I also like to have these teachable moments like that for the younger generation that's watching, because I want them to know you can stand up for yourself and you can do it in a polite way. You don't have to say, you know, something negative and ugly back. You can say, oh, thank you so much for, you know, identifying the fact that my cellulite is out today. Thank you so much. And it's just like, who cares?

• 41:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:01Ashley Graham?

  But that's also, you know, in this generation of Instagram, I'm so glad I wasn't raised in, in, and so young in that world, because there's so much wrapped up in a double tap. There's so much wrapped up in a comment. There's so much wrapped up in, in the followers and I, I always, I don't care how many likes I get, like that to me doesn't ever bother me. I just always want to make sure that I'm replying to some of my DMs and my comments to make people know that like, hey, I see you.

• 41:30Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 41:31Ashley Graham?

  Like, that's all that matters. And, um, and if they see that I have, uh, quote, clapped back in a teachable way, then so be it. Because I think that that's how we should be clapping back.

• 41:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. And, and I, and I think you do that in an awesome way. Tell me how.

• 41:45Ashley Graham?

  Wait, what are, what are negative comments that you get?

• 41:47Jay Shetty?

  Negative comments?

• 41:48Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, because you're not showing your cellulite.

• 41:49Jay Shetty?

  Okay, no, no. Uh, I'll tell you one of the first ones I got, which I'll never forget because it was genius. I thought it was hilarious. So it said like, I bet he has a wind blowing machine for his hair to fly like that.

• 42:00Ashley Graham?

  Oh, my God.

• 42:01Jay Shetty?

  So like, someone literally accused me of like, but, and I was like, wow, that's such a good idea. But I was just outside. That was when I first, that was like one of the first videos I made. I didn't have a team. It was one guy with his camera and me. It was a super windy day in London.

• 42:13Ashley Graham?

  Oh.

• 42:13Jay Shetty?

  And I'm sitting on the, on this rooftop and literally my head.

• 42:16Ashley Graham?

  The sound was really good, right?

• 42:18Jay Shetty?

  The sound was really good.

• 42:18Ashley Graham?

  I saw that interview.

• 42:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And, and it's just like, yeah, this, so, so that was one of them that I got. I think, so that's something common I get, something based on, again, it's always physical. A lot of it's physical.

• 42:28Ashley Graham?

  Exactly.

• 42:29Jay Shetty?

  And, and I'm like, okay, I can laugh at that. That's, that's funny. That's cool. And then often I'll get things like, oh, well, it's easy to say. And then again, that's a teachable moment too. And I'm like, yes, I know it's easy to say. I get it that you're really going through it. But this is at least opening the conversation. Like, how much can I share with you in a three to four minute video?

• 42:46Ashley Graham?

  Exactly.

• 42:46Jay Shetty?

  I'm, I'm trying my best here. And that's why this podcast, conversations like this are beautiful opportunities where we're really diving into so many of these themes in depth.

• 42:55Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 42:55Jay Shetty?

  With, with someone like yourself who's going through it in an extreme way. And so for me, the three to four minute videos have been windows for people to come into a bigger, deeper conversation. And so I'm open about the fact that I can't answer everyone's problems in four minutes. And I'm not trying to either.

• 43:10Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 43:11Jay Shetty?

  I'm just trying to start a conversation. And that's what my videos were about. It's how do we start a conversation about these themes? I believed, when I started making, I believed that people are having these conversations offline.

• 43:22Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 43:22Jay Shetty?

  In their personal circles or on their own, but no one was having them online.

• 43:26Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 43:26Jay Shetty?

  And so I was like, how can we? Urge and encourage more people to feel comfortable and confident to have them.

• 43:31Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 43:31Jay Shetty?

  So yeah, I get those.

• 43:33Ashley Graham?

  So hey haters.

• 43:34Jay Shetty?

  Hey haters, yeah, hey haters, teachable moments, I love it. But, but one of the things I really want to ask you this, and this is something I ask a lot of people whose industry or career is based on an external accolade or award. In, in your case, for example, getting a magazine cover, like you said, Italian Vogue. Getting a magazine cover is a big deal, right? For a model, it's huge. I mean, that's kind of proving like progress in one sense. How have you stayed in love with the process and motivated every day rather than waiting for that release of a cover to validate how you feel about your career and yourself? Because, because I think everyone today has this, you know, balance between like process and result, process and result. And I'm just, I'm asking that to a lot of people at the moment.

• 44:18Jay Shetty?

  I just think yours would be an incredible answer to have because your career is based around an external validation in one sense.

• 44:26Ashley Graham?

  Mm hmm, mm hmm. So the, the question is about like, how do I, how do I, oh wait, what were you gonna say?

• 44:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no, I can explain it if, but you can repeat it.

• 44:34Ashley Graham?

  No, but it, it's about like the process of getting to that cover and then getting it or not.

• 44:39Jay Shetty?

  When I meet you, and of course, I'm meeting you at a time when you have made shifts, you are very successful, et cetera, but still, I, I see you as someone who's happy. I see you as someone who's content, I see you as someone who's excited and bubbly and, you know, I see all these good qualities in you. And I'm guessing that you don't live for the cover. I'm guessing that you love life every day. I'm guessing, I'm assuming that.

• 45:02Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 45:02Jay Shetty?

  And if that's true, then it's like, how have you fallen in love with the process of getting to the cover and not living for the cover?

• 45:09Ashley Graham?

  I see.

• 45:10Jay Shetty?

  Does that make sense?

• 45:10Ashley Graham?

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent. So if you wrap your, for me, I haven't, I can't wrap myself up with, of my worth in my work. Because if you wrap yourself up in your worth of anything, you're going, you're going to completely fail at it. And that's like wrapping yourself up in a relationship or I mean literally anything. So I have been, I have made this conscious decision to be a hundred percent comfortable and confident in who I am as Ashley and not have the world tell me who I am. But know who I am because of how I know God made me, because I know what comes out of my mouth,

• 45:52Ashley Graham?

  because I know what I I look at, because I know what I do on a daily basis, with the tangible things that I am able to do. And there are so many covers that have not come. There are so many jobs that I I wish have and and would would and will that have not. But I'm not wrapped up in that because I know what I'm doing is making a change in the world that I'm living in today. And and I think that if I were to be so wrapped up in the the actual process, then I would be living in high anxiety every day and I choose not to live in anxiety.

• 46:30Jay Shetty?

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• 48:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that answer. That's awesome, because that's something no one can ever take away from you.

• 48:07Ashley Graham?

  Ever. You can't. Nobody can.

• 48:08Jay Shetty?

  That can never be taken away.

• 48:09Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 48:10Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that. I just, I've been thinking about that a lot, especially with so many people's lives today that revolve around a cover, or a movie, or an event, or a promotion. It's always about this result, result, result.

• 48:21Ashley Graham?

  But it's hard to get to that place.

• 48:23Jay Shetty?

  It is.

• 48:23Ashley Graham?

  Especially in an industry that is so wrapped up in what you do have and what people see on social media. And it's hard to teach the next generation that as well, because everything is about like, the look, and the glam, and the, and like, the behind the scenes, and like, and also just like, showing literally everything and not have anything sacred. And, you know, none of that bothers me. None of that affects me, because I know who I am and I know what my mission is. And I think it's important.

• 48:54Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. I love how that message keeps coming back through, everything you say, which just shows how crystal clear it is. It's awesome. You mentioned that, and we spoke about this at lunch, about your relationship.

• 49:04Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 49:04Jay Shetty?

  Been married for nine years?

• 49:05Ashley Graham?

  Nine years in August.

• 49:06Jay Shetty?

  Nine years, which is amazing. Congratulations.

• 49:08Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 49:09Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. I love that. I've been married for-

• 49:10Ashley Graham?

  Every year is a journey.

• 49:11Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 49:12Ashley Graham?

  You have three?

• 49:12Jay Shetty?

  I've been married for three, together with my wife for six.

• 49:14Ashley Graham?

  Okay, got it.

• 49:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we've been married for three.

• 49:16Ashley Graham?

  Did it feel different after you got married?

• 49:18Jay Shetty?

  It did. It felt better. I actually loved getting married. It was amazing. Like, I think it just, yeah, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. And I was, I was always like, I always say this to everyone. I'm like, I upgraded totally. Like, wife's awesome. And that's a good feeling, too. Like, you know, you did better than you could have.

• 49:35Ashley Graham?

  She's beautiful. I can't wait to meet her.

• 49:37Jay Shetty?

  She's awesome. She's just great energy. She's lovely to be around. And she's just, she's just a wonderful soul, so. And I can't wait to meet your husband, too.

• 49:44Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, we'll do double date.

• 49:45Jay Shetty?

  But I was gonna ask this, because my audience loves relationship advice, loves learning about love, loves learning about understanding yourself in a relationship with another partner.

• 49:55Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 49:56Jay Shetty?

  I'd love to hear some of the most incredible lessons you've learned in your nine years of marriage from your partner and from that partnership.

• 50:03Ashley Graham?

  Well, something that I've realized with Justin is that consistency is key. And the more consistent you are with your partner, the more trust you're going to build with them. And I think that also putting them first, because when you're in a relationship, it's not about you anymore. It's about that other person. And that's something that, you know, being, I got married at 22 and I had to learn that lesson because at 22, you're kind of selfish.

• 50:33Ashley Graham?

  And Justin is so patient. Oh my, I never knew patience until I met Justin. Like it is, he is the definition of patience.

• 50:43Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome.

• 50:43Ashley Graham?

  So I, I really had to understand what it was to put Justin before myself. And, and, and I think that the more I put him in front of me, the more love and, and vice versa. The more that he puts me in front of him, our love has really grown. And then we've just been consistent with that.

• 51:01Jay Shetty?

  Wow, consistency. Which is so underrated.

• 51:04Ashley Graham?

  It's so underrated, but you know, the reason I even like started to fall in love with Justin is because he was consistent. He was the only guy that I had ever dated that was actually consistent with what, putting what he said into action and his actions and his words and how he was consistently calling me and dating me and relating to me. Like he is such a consistent man that it, that's really truly what I fell in love with.

• 51:28Jay Shetty?

  What a beautiful quality to look out for. And that's so, for anyone who's listening or watching right now, you'll never find that in a clickbait article. You know that like consistency, it's such a great value to look for. And we all know that you'll only be happy in life if what you think, say and do are aligned. And you'll only feel peace and similarly with your partner, if you're with someone who thinks, says and does, and that's aligned for them too. That's brilliant. That's, that's such a great, unique, I've never heard that. I've never heard anyone say that. Yeah, that's awesome. No, I, I just think that we struggle today to think about what we want in someone. Again, like what you said, if you don't know who you are. Similarly, what we want, what we want is based on the movies we watch. What we want is based on the music videos. What we want is based on what our parents had or didn't have.

• 52:12Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 52:12Jay Shetty?

  Right. So many of our beliefs around relationships.

• 52:15Ashley Graham?

  Totally.

• 52:16Jay Shetty?

  Are filling that void.

• 52:17Ashley Graham?

  I wrote down a list of things that I wanted in a man. And I was like, and it was like my top 10. I wrote it down, I folded it up, put it in a box and then like poof, a year later I got it. That's not weird. Write it down. It's a real thing.

• 52:31Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 52:32Ashley Graham?

  But I didn't write down consistency. He just came with that.

• 52:34Jay Shetty?

  Oh, okay. Oh, wow. That was just a bonus. Did you take this to all your dates and were you like under the table?

• 52:39Ashley Graham?

  Can you imagine? No, thank God.

• 52:43Ashley Graham?

  My mom, when she was dating, she definitely had this guy share his list with her. And he had.

• 52:50Jay Shetty?

  He had a list.

• 52:50Ashley Graham?

  He had a list. He had a list and he crossed out long hair and put loyal instead.

• 52:58Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. I love how they're in the same category. Oh, it's like long hair and loyal. That is brilliant. I picked out two of the most asked questions about relationships this year on the internet from Google. So I want to ask them two. So they are, the first one is, what does a healthy relationship look like? That's one of the most Googled things about relationships.

• 53:15Ashley Graham?

  Funny with the, okay, um, was healthy really, uh.

• 53:19Jay Shetty?

  Just your opinion.

• 53:20Ashley Graham?

  No, I, yeah, no, I, I think it's a good question because I think a lot of people want to be in healthy relationships. And for me, I think that when you and your partner are making each other better, you know that song, you make me bad.

• 53:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 53:31Ashley Graham?

  Like, that's real. Cause if you're making.

• 53:33Jay Shetty?

  Fabulous, Neo.

• 53:34Ashley Graham?

  There we go. Hey, early 2000s.

• 53:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. We're, we're the same age, so, yeah.

• 53:41Ashley Graham?

  But I think that when you're making each other better and you can put each other first. And then at the end of it, you can both adore each other. Like that to me is a perfect relationship because you've, in a sense, got it all.

• 53:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I love that. Great answer. And, and we'll play that song somewhere as well.

• 53:56Ashley Graham?

  Yes. You make me bad. And you gotta grind a little bit like.

• 54:02Ashley Graham?

  Grind on your partner.

• 54:05Jay Shetty?

  I'm just thinking of Fabulous and Neo grinding each other.

• 54:08Ashley Graham?

  No, no.

• 54:09Jay Shetty?

  No, no.

• 54:10Ashley Graham?

  I mean, never know.

• 54:11Jay Shetty?

  Maybe, yeah. Sorry, Fabulous and Neo. I don't know either of you, but not putting that on you. The second most Google question was, how can you build trust in a relationship?

• 54:21Ashley Graham?

  Consistency.

• 54:22Jay Shetty?

  Okay, yeah.

• 54:23Ashley Graham?

  Oh, my gosh. I mean, I think trust in a relationship is something that that is built over time, but that, you know, you talked about how like your actions, your words, and what was the other thing?

• 54:36Jay Shetty?

  Your thoughts.

• 54:37Ashley Graham?

  Your thoughts all have to line up. But what I've always understood is that if your action, your actions will always speak louder than your words. And you can say that you want to do something and not actually do it. So if you're doing what you're saying, and you're saying consistent with that, then you're definitely going to build trust.

• 54:54Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent.

• 54:54Ashley Graham?

  Like, that's it. Like, my husband and I trust each other so incredibly that it's like, we sometimes we don't see each other for a couple of weeks. And it's, you know, we do a quick check-in text message every day, because that's a rule of ours. But, but that's it. Like, because we just trust each other.

• 55:08Jay Shetty?

  Yes, absolutely. Yeah, love is a verb, not a noun.

• 55:11Ashley Graham?

  Yes, that's very true.

• 55:12Jay Shetty?

  You have to show it. And that's why I think so many people get lost, because you can have an abusive relationship where someone says, I love you. Because we think love is a noun.

• 55:19Ashley Graham?

  Been there, done that.

• 55:20Jay Shetty?

  Dear love, but you don't feel it. And then you can be in a, a relationship that's, you know, ownership. Like, it doesn't, it's not a partnership, it's ownership. Like, someone feels like they own you, but they say, I love you. And again, but when you realize that love is a verb, you can then very quickly judge whether someone actually loves you or not. And

• 55:39Ashley Graham?

  Love is a verb, y'all.

• 55:41Jay Shetty?

  Yes, love is a verb, not a noun. It's so easy to get lost in just being, hearing the right stuff. And if we've never heard it before, it sounds intoxicating, right? It's amazing. It's such a wonderful feeling to hear that you're loved, even if you're not feeling it. And, and I love that way that you're talking about how Actions are louder than words ultimately as well. That's same point being made there. I love that. And then the third question I had about that was, what's the best relationship advice you've ever received? And who was it from? I know you probably say your mom. So, no, it's not this time. Okay.

• 56:12Ashley Graham?

  No, I mean, sadly, my mom and dad's relationship only lasted 26 years. And I think she learned a lot. I learned a lot from her divorce as well. But my grandmother actually told me when I got married. She goes, Ashley, choose your battles. Not everything has to be a fight. And not everything should be a fight. So if you feel that this is a disagreement, don't make it into a battle. Just handle it right then and there. And that's what I choose to do now. Justin and I don't even fight. It's like, and if we do, we're just like, this is what I think. No, this is what I think. Well, are we going to choose to disagree? Or are we going to actually get down to the nitty gritty of it? Okay, great, done. And we don't go to bed mad at each other. Have you ever gone to bed mad at your wife?

• 56:52Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 56:52Ashley Graham?

  Okay, good.

• 56:53Jay Shetty?

  That's one of our rules too.

• 56:54Ashley Graham?

  Yes, it is like the biggest mistake of your life if you do. Because you sleep terribly. You wake up in the morning, you're just like pissed off at everything. And then you have to, it takes all day to fix it. Because you've slept on it all night. Don't go to bed mad at each other, people.

• 57:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, it's great advice. And I love that you said this. Rules, like you said, one of our rules is when we're away from each other, we message each other.

• 57:16Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, we have a few rules.

• 57:18Jay Shetty?

  I'd love to hear them.

• 57:18Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 57:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, please share.

• 57:19Ashley Graham?

  There's that. We have to check in at least once a day.

• 57:21Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 57:22Ashley Graham?

  We don't go longer than, we don't go longer than two weeks without seeing each other. Because that's like, for us, it's like the breaking point.

• 57:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:30Ashley Graham?

  And we always respect each other, even in a fight. If it's, if there's, if there's a fight that breaks out, it doesn't matter. We have to respect each other.

• 57:38Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 57:39Ashley Graham?

  Don't feel like you have to hurry up. It's fine.

• 57:40Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, I'm just, I'm just watching the time. I need to be careful. You're like, yeah. But no, no, I think that's an awesome answer. I, I love rules. I think rules are really, really important. And people feel rules ruin spontaneity, but actually it doesn't.

• 57:52Ashley Graham?

  No, it doesn't. You could have spontaneous sex. We're not talking about that. Like, just make rules and regulations within like, the time that you spend together or how you treat each other.

• 58:02Jay Shetty?

  How you communicate, how often you communicate.

• 58:04Ashley Graham?

  Exactly.

• 58:05Jay Shetty?

  Just set standards, right? Setting standards so that no one's let down. And I think a lot of us, we think that spontaneity and dynamism is lost with rules, but actually rules just enhance that. It gives you more opportunity to have those. And I've definitely seen that in so many relationships that don't have rules, that actually just start losing standards and then people end up settling.

• 58:25Ashley Graham?

  I know.

• 58:25Jay Shetty?

  Or lowering their standards and then it's lost.

• 58:28Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 58:28Jay Shetty?

  So.

• 58:28Ashley Graham?

  Lower your standards.

• 58:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, don't lower your standards.

• 58:30Ashley Graham?

  It's not worth it.

• 58:31Jay Shetty?

  No, definitely. It's so easy to settle in relationships.

• 58:35Ashley Graham?

  It is.

• 58:35Jay Shetty?

  It's really, really easy.

• 58:36Ashley Graham?

  Been there, done that.

• 58:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Yeah, and we lower our standards when we're lonely as well. Like, I see that a lot today that I see friends who see all their friends are in a relationship and then you want a relationship because your friends are in one. And so loneliness becomes your metric of why you want someone.

• 58:52Ashley Graham?

  And then you're just like a serial dater.

• 58:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Ashley Graham?

  Or serial sleeper around her.

• 58:55Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, exactly. And what you said about arguments is so important. There's this incredible study by John Gottman. And John Gottman and his wife, I don't know how long they've been married, but they're very, very, very old. And I, I literally got to see them at a conference we were speaking at and I, I fangled over them because I love their research. And, and they're both so adorable together, but their research from the Gottman Institute talks about how the number one skill that keeps relationships together is not date nights, it's not cruises, it's not holidays, it's knowing how to fight.

• 59:27Ashley Graham?

  Oh, wow.

• 59:28Jay Shetty?

  That's the number one skill that keeps a relationship together long term. So what you just said there, it's like knowing how to fight. And I, I know we talk a lot about the love languages, but something I've been playing around with a lot recently is the five fight languages.

• 59:41Ashley Graham?

  What are they? What are the fight languages?

• 59:42Jay Shetty?

  So we all fight differently. Like, so there are some of us in a fight situation who go quiet. And we just need to retreat and we need to hide away and we need to process our thoughts. Then there's another language where it's like, I need to talk this out right now. Like, this is it. Like, we need to have this conversation. Which one are you out those two so far?

• 1:00:02Ashley Graham?

  I'm like both.

• 1:00:03Jay Shetty?

  Okay, you're both.

• 1:00:04Ashley Graham?

  Depending on what it is.

• 1:00:05Jay Shetty?

  And then, and then a third fight language is the language of I need to consult someone.

• 1:00:10Ashley Graham?

  Oh, see, I don't like to bring other people into my drama.

• 1:00:12Jay Shetty?

  Neither do I, but, but you hear it often where people are, oh, I need to talk to this or I need to talk to that. Another fight language is the language of instant blame. Like you just start blaming that person straight away. Like you don't want to take any responsibility for it. And of course we start.

• 1:00:26Ashley Graham?

  Sounds very juvenile.

• 1:00:27Jay Shetty?

  Yes, very, but it happens.

• 1:00:29Ashley Graham?

  I know.

• 1:00:29Jay Shetty?

  I'm sure you've experienced or seen it.

• 1:00:31Ashley Graham?

  Look, I've done it. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, but like, geez. Hearing you say it, that that's like an actual trait, I'm like, I don't do that.

• 1:00:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we, we, we read it. This is why I, I tell people whenever you have an emotion, voice note it.

• 1:00:45Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 1:00:45Jay Shetty?

  And play it back to yourself.

• 1:00:47Ashley Graham?

  Isn't that good?

• 1:00:47Jay Shetty?

  And you realize how silly it sounds. If you're complaining about your partner or an argument or anything, voice note, record it and play it back to yourself.

• 1:00:55Ashley Graham?

  Interesting.

• 1:00:55Jay Shetty?

  And you will hear your voice and then it will sound like someone else is saying it to you and you'll be like, oh. Because what we do is we take our emotions really seriously.

• 1:01:03Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 1:01:03Jay Shetty?

  But when a friend's saying something, we're like, oh, come on, get over it.

• 1:01:05Ashley Graham?

  Right.

• 1:01:05Jay Shetty?

  And so when you hear your voice as if it's a friend sharing it with you. You can kind of go.

• 1:01:10Ashley Graham?

  The other thing that I just, um, Brene Brown was talking about is like, what's the story you're telling in your head? And when you can say the story that you're telling in your head to your partner and vice versa, the stories never line up.

• 1:01:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:01:23Ashley Graham?

  So I was like, oh, I'm going to bring that into my relationship. I just love that idea.

• 1:01:28Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, yeah.

• 1:01:28Ashley Graham?

  Because so many people, they think so differently.

• 1:01:31Jay Shetty?

  Totally, and that's totally fine, too. I think we're always looking, we're always told, find someone who thinks like you, find someone alike.

• 1:01:37Ashley Graham?

  Good luck.

• 1:01:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. How hard is that going to be?

• 1:01:39Ashley Graham?

  Good luck finding someone with the same love language, too.

• 1:01:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. And you don't need to either. That's the problem, right? So, yeah, it's crazy. Okay, we've got time for a couple more questions. I wanted to talk about your partnership with Ellen.

• 1:01:51Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 1:01:52Jay Shetty?

  Because I'm about to embark on that journey.

• 1:01:54Ashley Graham?

  Oh, no.

• 1:01:55Jay Shetty?

  So need all your, your wisdom.

• 1:01:56Ashley Graham?

  Are you shooting soon?

• 1:01:57Jay Shetty?

  And experience, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:58Ashley Graham?

  Okay, great.

• 1:01:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so very excited about it. But you've got season two of Fearless.

• 1:02:03Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 1:02:03Jay Shetty?

  Coming out, when's it coming out?

• 1:02:05Ashley Graham?

  So we start shooting Fearless really soon and it's just been so incredible because I've been able To go to some like meet people from even cities that I'm from and and and just open up a whole new door that they never thought could ever be even cracked. And it's like we're giving opportunities to people who have felt like the underdogs, who have felt not even worthy to walk into their greatness or into the ability that that they've that they've dreamt of. And and and being able to work with Ellen and her team has been this like incredibly eye opening experience that I've absolutely loved. And just seeing people's lives change right before your eyes is also just.

• 1:02:48Jay Shetty?

  You've got people in tears. It's literally like every episode.

• 1:02:53Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, it's a sound. It's like, oh, so it's been absolutely amazing.

• 1:02:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, I've had so much fun. You're gonna have great.

• 1:02:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's been beautiful to watch too. I feel like the the emotion that's captured in in season one.

• 1:03:06Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Jay Shetty?

  It's just unbelievable.

• 1:03:07Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:08Jay Shetty?

  Like you're seeing people literally like break down.

• 1:03:10Ashley Graham?

  Fall to their knees or just fall in people's arms and and you know Ricky who transitioned. It was that was this like incredible moment. He had never met a trans person before in his life. And then there's Laverne Cox and here we are, you know, giving him money for for his operations. And it's just like boom, boom, boom. It's just, it's like, it's heartbreaking to see that these opportunities had never been afforded to him. But it's also just so incredible to see that that we were able to to give him the space to be himself. So, you know, I mean, like, and everybody's story is just so different. That was the one that like that I kept hearing come back though. So I'm excited to shoot season two.

• 1:03:53Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing. I wanna go towards towards the end of our interview now, but I wanted to ask you a question about you've seen and created so many shifts in the beauty industry. Which ones are you really happy about that have changed? And which ones are you still trying to change?

• 1:04:10Ashley Graham?

  Well, what I really want to see change is that that we don't have to have this conversation anymore, that everything is the norm, that inclusivity, diversity is the norm. And I think that things are shifting in that direction. But you know, I've been doing this for 20 years, and I've never seen something rapidly happen this quickly. And and it's, it feels like this wild success within the fashion industry, which I'm so excited for everybody that's been a part of the process. So. I think that we need to see more curves on the runway. I think that designers, once they start understanding that not every model or person or a customer is not going to fit into this ideal size or ideal beauty or whatever, then more designers are going to be like, oh,

• 1:04:55Ashley Graham?

  okay, well, I don't have to just keep putting the same type of person on the runway. I don't have to just keep putting the same type of person in a campaign. So I think that that's what I'm most excited to see is like, hopefully in the next five years, we see even more of a change. And you know, you've seen the industry changes. A model, her name is Paloma Essler, and she's been doing incredible editorials that girls, women that look like us that have our bodies have never been afforded before. And there's so many designers, like the ones that I had said before, Christian, Prabhu, Michael, that are just giving so many opportunities for curvy women to be able to dress themselves in cool, comfortable clothes. And so, yes, there's a long way to go, but we have come so far, which is also so great.

• 1:05:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And I love that you've been such a huge part of that.

• 1:05:42Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 1:05:42Jay Shetty?

  And to be able to sit here and have this conversation with you, like, I think we should celebrate that because it's going to take, I hope that this interview is going to inspire more people in whatever space you're in, whatever industry you're in, big or small, like, it doesn't matter about the scale, but it's about starting to have a voice, starting to make that shift, starting to stand up for what you believe in.

• 1:06:01Ashley Graham?

  Stand up.

• 1:06:02Jay Shetty?

  What's important.

• 1:06:02Ashley Graham?

  Use your voice.

• 1:06:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Ashley Graham?

  And that's in any industry.

• 1:06:05Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Awesome. So we end every interview with a final five, which is rapid fire, quick fire round.

• 1:06:09Ashley Graham?

  We do it in Pretty Big Deal, too.

• 1:06:10Jay Shetty?

  You do? Answers are only one word or one sentence maximum.

• 1:06:15Ashley Graham?

  Oh, God.

• 1:06:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. So are you ready?

• 1:06:16Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 1:06:17Jay Shetty?

  Do you want to, wait, did we, do you want to talk about anything else that we haven't talked about, exciting things?

• 1:06:20Ashley Graham?

  You want to talk about Pretty Big Deal?

• 1:06:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, let's talk about Pretty Big Deal, because I know we're going to do it when you relaunch, but yeah, let's talk about it.

• 1:06:25Ashley Graham?

  You're going to come on Pretty Big Deal.

• 1:06:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:06:28Ashley Graham?

  That's the trade, right?

• 1:06:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, yeah, that's why we're doing this, right? Like, we're only doing this because she's having me on.

• 1:06:36Ashley Graham?

  No, I'm excited. So season two, Pretty Big Deal. You know, when we had our lunch and you were explaining your process of how you shoot your podcast, I was like, Eureka, I've got new ideas. So I'm excited for season two, Pretty Big Deal, to come out. And, you know, I wanted to start the podcast because, first of all, models aren't given the opportunity to have a voice and...

• 1:06:58Jay Shetty?

  That's such news to me. I've never been in the modeling industry. It's so interesting from a complete outsider like to hear that and be like, what? How can we ever not give someone a voice? But I get it. I get it.

• 1:07:08Ashley Graham?

  We are just supposed to be clothes hangers and just be there and be pretty. So, and I've always wanted my own TV show and I've always, you know, felt like, you know, I'm a personality. Like, what can I do? But, you know, it's not like people are just handing out TV shows. So I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna go make my own podcast because this is a generation, like, our generation isn't going home and watching TV anymore. We're going, we're on the go and we're very busy. So we're listening to podcasts, we're watching YouTube. And it's something that I was like, that's, that's my audience. I'm gonna go with them and I'm gonna talk to them about issues that I've felt very passionate about. Talk to them with people that have changed my life, who have been inspirational in my career and in my, just my growing up.

• 1:07:53Ashley Graham?

  And I've felt really great about being able to just share all those different stories with my audience.

• 1:07:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's awesome. Who were some of your favorites from season one? I know it's hard to say, but...

• 1:08:03Ashley Graham?

  No, no, no. I mean, I loved every interview. Duh. But I love talking to Noor Tagori, who is one of my friends that is Muslim and she wears a hijab. And we really got to talk about Christianity and, and being a Muslim and like, not parallels, but like how we as, how we came from completely different, opposite sides of the spectrum, but like that we can have these natural conversations and talk about things that... That that matter to us and and be able to share so open and honestly. And I think it resonated with a lot of people, that conversation. I love talking to Lilly Singh and Lindsay Vaughn and Amy Schumer. I mean, like, you know, just just to name a few.

• 1:08:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, they're such awesome. And they're all, that's the beautiful thing that I love, that everyone you've interviewed are doing such awesome purposeful work.

• 1:08:55Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 1:08:55Jay Shetty?

  Like, everyone

• 1:08:56Ashley Graham?

  Yes.

• 1:08:56Jay Shetty?

  On the podcast, a pretty big deal is doing something meaningful in their industry.

• 1:09:01Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Jay Shetty?

  And trying to create shifts and ripples, which is incredible.

• 1:09:04Ashley Graham?

  And that, to me, is is most important. And I always love to celebrate other women.

• 1:09:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I love the name, too.

• 1:09:10Ashley Graham?

  Thank you. You know, Justin came up with the name.

• 1:09:12Jay Shetty?

  Oh.

• 1:09:12Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, he said, well, you've always been called pretty for a big girl. And you're my pretty big deal, so why don't you just say pretty big deal?

• 1:09:18Jay Shetty?

  I love it. It's such a great name. There you go. On top of being consistent and everything else.

• 1:09:23Ashley Graham?

  I know.

• 1:09:24Jay Shetty?

  He's coming up with names.

• 1:09:25Ashley Graham?

  Sounds like the dream man, doesn't he?

• 1:09:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, he really does. He really does. I can't wait to meet him. But no, awesome. Thank you so much.

• 1:09:31Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 1:09:32Jay Shetty?

  For being here. We're gonna go to the final five.

• 1:09:33Ashley Graham?

  Okay, okay, here we go.

• 1:09:34Jay Shetty?

  Question one. What is something people would be surprised to find out that you do?

• 1:09:39Ashley Graham?

  Um.

• 1:09:39Jay Shetty?

  Every day?

• 1:09:40Ashley Graham?

  Every day? Oh, gosh. Um, gosh, I don't know. Every day?

• 1:09:46Jay Shetty?

  Or anything.

• 1:09:47Ashley Graham?

  Okay.

• 1:09:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:48Ashley Graham?

  Something that I love to do is aerial yoga. Like, you hang with the rope, with the ribbons.

• 1:09:53Jay Shetty?

  Oh.

• 1:09:53Ashley Graham?

  Love it.

• 1:09:54Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow, okay.

• 1:09:55Ashley Graham?

  Love it.

• 1:09:56Jay Shetty?

  When did you start doing that?

• 1:09:57Ashley Graham?

  Oh, probably a couple of years ago.

• 1:09:59Jay Shetty?

  Oh, cool.

• 1:09:59Ashley Graham?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:00Jay Shetty?

  I've never tried it.

• 1:10:00Ashley Graham?

  Oh, it like releases your back. It opens your sciatic. It's like, it's really strengthening for your upper body.

• 1:10:06Jay Shetty?

  It looks really hard to do.

• 1:10:07Ashley Graham?

  It's so hard, but it's so much fun.

• 1:10:09Jay Shetty?

  For a second, I was like, are you gonna say, no, it's so easy?

• 1:10:12Ashley Graham?

  No, it's not easy.

• 1:10:13Jay Shetty?

  It looks really hard. That's why I've avoided it.

• 1:10:15Ashley Graham?

  Ah, climbing up the ropes.

• 1:10:17Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Second question, what's the first thing you do when you wake up?

• 1:10:20Ashley Graham?

  Um, definitely press the snooze button. I I like

• 1:10:24Jay Shetty?

  Interesting.

• 1:10:25Ashley Graham?

  No shame in my game. I don't care, like, but I love to wake up early because I'm all about having that moment, those moments to myself. So, yeah, press snooze, maybe twice. But that's okay, because that's something that I know about.

• 1:10:38Jay Shetty?

  For 4:00 AM, right?

• 1:10:39Ashley Graham?

  Yeah. Uh huh, 4:00 AM.

• 1:10:43Jay Shetty?

  Uh, question number three. If I stole your phone, whose phone number would I want to steal the most?

• 1:10:49Ashley Graham?

  Oh, well, do you have Ellen DeGeneres's number?

• 1:10:50Jay Shetty?

  I do.

• 1:10:51Ashley Graham?

  You do?

• 1:10:54Ashley Graham?

  I love it. I love it.

• 1:10:55Jay Shetty?

  I do. Go on.

• 1:10:57Ashley Graham?

  Oh, God, I don't know. Who knows? I think my contacts are pretty boring.

• 1:11:00Jay Shetty?

  Justin, probably Justin.

• 1:11:01Ashley Graham?

  Yeah, you know what? We'll do it.

• 1:11:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I like Justin. Okay, number four. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?

• 1:11:07Ashley Graham?

  Oh, man, I always am so humbled when people come up to me and say, like, you gave me the opportunity to tell my story, to speak my truth, to get into a swimming suit for the first time. It was just like those stories that they say because I told my story. I'm like, are you seri- like, it still shocks me to my core that that that's something that has that has changed someone else's life. And to me, greatest accomplishment. It doesn't matter what covers, doesn't matter what, anything else, awards, nothing. Like, it is those people.

• 1:11:43Jay Shetty?

  I love it. And fifth and final question, what's your favorite prayer, meditation mantra that you repeat every day to yourself?

• 1:11:50Ashley Graham?

  So I don't do mantras and like I have my I have my affirmations, but for me, what I do is I have music, worship music. And I sing a lot of like old gospel songs, or I love Fred Hammond. And and I'll sing out loud to myself with myself and I'll praise God all morning. And I just, it makes me just so happy. So that's, that's something that I like to do.

• 1:12:16Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. Thank you, Ashley.

• 1:12:17Ashley Graham?

  Thanks, Jay.

• 1:12:18Jay Shetty?

  How was that? Everyone who's been listening or watching, I feel that Ashley shared so many incredible insights today. Make sure that you screenshot them, type them in, share them on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, tag both of us because we'd love to see what you've learned and gained and grown from in this episode. There were countless messages that I was taking mental notes of. And I really, really hope that you find them as well. Make sure you go and follow Ashley across social media. It's Ashley Graham on absolutely every platform that you can possibly find.

• 1:12:46Ashley Graham?

  That's right.

• 1:12:46Jay Shetty?

  Make sure you look out for Fearless and season two of Pretty Big Deal as well. And Ashley, again, thank you so much.

• 1:12:53Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 1:12:53Jay Shetty?

  I'm so happy and grateful and excited for my audience to hear this. Really excited.

• 1:12:58Ashley Graham?

  I can't wait for you to come on Pretty Big Deal.

• 1:12:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. I'm really looking forward to it.

• 1:13:01Ashley Graham?

  Thank you.

• 1:13:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:13:08Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're gonna share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to On Purpose. Let me know, post it, tell me what a difference it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.