Simone Ashley: “Self-Belief Changed My Life”

Actress and musician Simone Ashley joins Jay for an intimate conversation about navigating sudden global fame, redefining self-worth beyond career expectations, and letting go of societal timelines. Simone details her breakthrough journey from lockdown uncertainties to leading Bridgerton, how her mother taught her to love her skin and embrace cultural identity, and why stepping into music with her debut EP 'Songs I Wrote In New York' allowed her to access a raw, instinctual form of creative expression. Together, Jay and Simone dive into the crucial distinction between solitude and loneliness, how envy can slowly destroy friendships, and why finding a 'co-creator' in love means choosing someone who makes life simpler rather than more complex. If you're feeling behind in life or searching for the confidence to trust your own timing, this episode offers a heartwarming reminder that your path unfolds exactly when it is meant to. With Love and Gratitude,Jay Shetty A State Farm agent can help you choose the coverage you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.®️Visit: https://www.statefarm.com/ Head to https://wayfair.com right now to shop all things home and get your space ready for less. On Purpose is now Netflix and Spotify exclusivehttp://www.netflix.com/onpurposewithjayshetty https://open.spotify.com/show/5EqqB52m2bsr4k1Ii7sStc JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00:00 Intro 00:00:53 How Much Can Shift In Five Years 00:01:30 From Lockdown to Bridgerton: Career Breakthrough 00:05:16 Identity and Confidence as an Indian Actress 00:08:41 Impact of Representation and Personal Reflections 00:12:56 Assessing Past Strengths and Potential Regrets 00:13:37 Comparing School Experiences 00:14:23 Mother's Lesson on Non-Materialism 00:15:35 Defining True Friendship and Overcoming Envy 00:17:34 Women Supporting Each Other Beyond Competition 00:18:40 Loneliness vs Solitude 00:24:26 Desires, Dreams, and Simpler Life Aspirations 00:26:07 How to Manifest Love… 00:28:20 The Power of Honesty in Relationships 00:29:25 This is What Handling Rejection Looks Like 00:32:42 Your Emotional Response to Rejection is OK 00:34:08 Balancing Career Ambition with Personal Relationships 00:34:53 Evolving Partner Values As You Grow 00:36:55 Self-Belief is the Foundation for Success 00:38:02 Dream Projects and Core Personal Values 00:39:19 Creation is the Opposite of Depression 00:40:06 The Songwriting Process and Developing Her Unique Sound 00:42:36 Vulnerability in Music and Overcoming That Fear 00:43:39 Analyzing 'Freeze' and 'Tragic Romantic' Lyrics 00:46:33 The Song 'Free' and Its Emotional Significance 00:49:39 Finding the Art Form That Perfectly Aligns with Your Soul 00:52:10 Would-You-Rather Dating Game 00:56:42 Aging, Timelines, and Comparing Life Paths 01:02:41 The Most Painful Lesson She Learned From This Rejection 01:05:40 What Are Sliding-Door Moments? 01:05:26 Don’t Feel Bad For Being Desperate 01:07:10 Questioning Answers and The Biggest Pressure in Her 30’s 01:10:08 Dreaming of An Escape and What That Really Means 01:13:00 The Perspective Shift That Changed Everything 01:14:33 Simone on Final Five Episode Resources: Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/simoneashley/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@simoneashleyofficial Spotify | https://open.spotify.com/artist/simoneashley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:11Jay Shetty?

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• 2:56Jay Shetty?

  You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees so you keep every dollar you earn. We were just together for dinner last night, so this feels very weird.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  I know.

• 3:13Jay Shetty?

  We were at the Bangkok Supper Club. You are one of my dearest friends. You're like a sister to me. We had a great time, but you've become a New York girl now.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:22Jay Shetty?

  So tell me about what are the three top recommendations in New York that I shouldn't miss this week and people shouldn't miss?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Bangkok Supper Club was a vibe.

• 3:30Jay Shetty?

  It was great.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  We were gonna go to French Chat, but I shifted because I wanted something else. But French Chat is great.

• 3:37Jay Shetty?

  You landed from London last night.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Landed from London.

• 3:39Jay Shetty?

  Why did you shift away from French Chat?

• 3:41Speaker 01

  I was feeling summery kind of vibes. I just really wanted chicken and rice. And I think it's got good veggie options as well. So I got recommended to go there before. And all of my friends that have gone there have been like, it's one of the best. Third place. Can't think off the top of my head, there's so many.

• 3:58Jay Shetty?

  There's two good ones to start. Last night was good, so your recommendations are good. Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

• 4:26Jay Shetty?

  Simone Ashley, welcome to On Purpose.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  Hi, thank you for having me.

• 4:30Jay Shetty?

  What's the biggest difference in your life over the last five years? Like, if you look to your life, where you were five years ago, personally, professionally, and you looked at it today, what are the biggest shifts you're noticing?

• 4:40Speaker 01

  So five years ago was 2021. We were just coming out of lockdown. And I was really worried because, like many people, lockdown left me in a place where, especially as an artist, I didn't know when the next paycheck was coming in and what was going to be happening with my work. So I was kind of smiling through it. And I remember January 2021, I was sat in my friend's apartment and I was like, I just need one thing. Like, whether it's a commercial, I'll do a toothpaste commercial, I'll do anything. And then I got a call for Bridgerton, literally the next week. And I was filming A Little Mermaid as well at the time.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  And yeah, then life completely changed. Then I was filming the whole of 2021. Bridgerton, we filmed for like 10 months because we were filming during COVID. Personally, over the past five years, I've definitely grown so much. And I'm really proud of that. I think I've really taken upon reflecting on myself and trying to grow into the woman I want to be. My community of friends has just... That's one of the best things that's happened. Back in 2021, if you told me these are all the people that are going to be in your life, I would just be so happy. And especially my community of girlfriends

• 6:07Speaker 01

  since moving to New York has just expanded. And that's something that's been so important for me. My relationship with my family has really grown and deepened. And I think that for me, the more maturing I've experienced, the deeper my relationship with my family's got. Yeah, so personally, I would say that. And professionally, it's been waves, so many exciting things. But I would say the past few years, foot's been full on the gas on the floor and just going with it.

• 6:38Jay Shetty?

  Now I'm just staring at your teeth going, you should do a toothpaste commercial.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 6:42Jay Shetty?

  I'm like, yeah, have you done one yet? Is it coming?

• 6:46Jay Shetty?

  That's all I'm thinking about now. Like, I completely ignored.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  We'll manifest it.

• 6:49Jay Shetty?

  Everything you've said since then. I know you've talked about this before, but talk to me about getting that call for Bridgerton. When you're in this moment in your life that feels like, I don't know when my next paycheck's coming, I don't know what comes next, hopefully I get a toothpaste commercial. But then you get this incredible opportunity, which... Did you know then how big it was gonna be?

• 7:07Speaker 01

  I didn't. I remember, because the first season came out at Christmas, so December 2020. It was very visible and everyone was talking about it. And, you know, Regga Jean Page, Phoebe Dilaver, they were everywhere. Even though I'd done Sex Education, I'd never really been at the forefront or the lead of a show like that. And I didn't, I didn't understand it at all. I was just so excited about the character and the storyline and that I had to go and do horse riding training and all these things. So it was only when it came out that I really started to understand how it was gonna change my life, I guess.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  And to be honest, only lately, the past two years or year, I've really been able to have a clear understanding of all of those things. I've always been someone that's first and foremost drawn to the craft and everything else is just a bonus. And now, I think, the more experience I've got and the more variety my ambition has, I want to do loads of other different things. Now I'm really understanding. And it's fun to like learn and explore different factors of what the work can do.

• 8:26Jay Shetty?

  What was it like growing up Indian and wanting to be an actress?

• 8:29Speaker 01

  It was a question that never entered my head, really. I never had this narrative growing up that, oh, I'm an Indian girl. Even though, you know, my mom practiced Hinduism when I was growing up and my family in California had a really intimate relationship with their culture and their religion. I just saw what was in front of me in my life. And, you know, me and my brother, we grew up westernized in England, between England and California. And it was something that never really entered my head. I always loved the color of my skin. I always had this confidence in myself. And I think anything that felt like a hindrance wasn't because of my culture or my heritage.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  It was maybe I was a bit of an awkward teenager or I didn't, you know, I wasn't growing into myself like the other peers around me were. So I guess to answer your question, I just... I felt like any other young teenager.

• 9:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I can relate to that, actually. When I was growing up in London, I felt like I never saw, I was bullied for the colour of my skin growing up in primary school, but I didn't really understand why, like it didn't make sense to me. And so I don't think I internalised it that much. And I felt like I grew up believing I could do anything or be anything. And I never saw my colour of skin as an advantage or a disadvantage. It just felt like who I was.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:50Jay Shetty?

  And even though I was bullied for it, or even though sometimes it felt like I was experiencing racism, it it became something that I was so confident and comfortable about. And so as I'm listening to you say that, I'm like, how did you get that balance right? Like, how did you feel confident and comfortable in your skin and happy about the colour of your skin and at the same time not make it your full picture, if that makes sense?

• 10:12Speaker 01

  I guess my personality or things that I was drawn to, I spent so many summers in California, so my skin was always exposed. I was always wearing summer dresses or shorts or, you know, clothes you would wear in California or in the summer in London. And I loved it. I never wanted to shy away from that. I think brown skin is so beautiful and I think many people do feel that way. That was something that took my my headspace more than anything else. And yeah, similar to you, I did get bullied sometimes, but no one could ever say or do anything that made me believe that what they were saying was true.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  And I think my mum's so beautiful as well. She really is. And I know it's a biased thing to say. Everyone thinks I'm beautiful, but my mum really is just stunning. And that was a great example for me. Looking up to her, just, you know, she's got much lighter skin than me, but I still had a great example of just loving the colour of my skin.

• 11:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is presented by State Farm. We spend so much energy becoming the best version of ourselves, building better habits, showing up more fully, embracing mindfulness. But sometimes the most purposeful thing you can do is just handle the thing you've been putting off. If getting your insurance sorted has been living on that list, State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage that's right for you. Go online at statefarm.com or use the easily accessible app to get help from one of their over nineteen thousand local agents. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. Last night when we were at dinner and we were leaving, when we walked out, like all these girls came up to you and they were like,

• 11:57Jay Shetty?

  Simone, like, thank you so much for what you've done for representation and the way you carry our culture and you inspire us. And I was thinking, what does that make you feel now when you think about it from little Simone who wants to be an actress, who's growing up in admiration of her mother, who's looking at life and going, I want to be this thing. I don't know how it's going to happen, when it's going to happen. And now you have all these young women coming up to you and saying, Simone, you did it. Like, you're showing me what's possible. Like, what does that feel like?

• 12:26Speaker 01

  It's amazing. I, I really want to just spread good in the world and especially women, help women feel like their dreams are possible. And if I can do that with my work, then I feel so satisfied and so happy. So when, when girls and women stop me and say things like that, I feel really proud. The narrative I had as a kid was slightly naive. I was just like so unaware of any inhibitions that maybe the rest of the world could have put on me and the career that I was choosing to do. And yeah, now I'm a grown woman. It took me a few years, but I do understand what I represent. And I think I

• 13:09Speaker 01

  can articulate more now what I want to do with that and how I want to hold myself. And I think I just want to shed positivity on it. And also just have it as an open door. I don't think the colour of your skin, your culture or heritage should ever be something that corners you or stereotypes you or puts you in a box. So I try to make choices in the work that I do that helps elevate that, that belief. And yeah, I also celebrate it. I don't really overthink it too much. I think I just follow my heart with it. And I think it just comes from first and foremost, as a kid, I just always loved the colour of my skin. It wasn't anything that I second guessed at all.

• 13:49Jay Shetty?

  I love hearing that. I hope that everyone who's listening to that who's been feeling a bit uneasy or feeling a bit uncertain about how they fit in and where they are, even hearing you being an awkward teenager, tell me a bit about that, actually, like, we can't see it, Simone, we don't believe you. So.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  I'm awkward. You've seen me be awkward before.

• 14:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I've seen you awkward before. Fair, fair, fair.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 14:10Jay Shetty?

  You're still awkward.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, like we went bowling like a month ago and I was so like overthinking the whole thing.

• 14:16Jay Shetty?

  The worst game of bowling I've done in my entire life.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  I did pretty well.

• 14:18Jay Shetty?

  You actually did really well.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:21Jay Shetty?

  You actually did pretty well. I was impressed. That was the worst game. And I was so embarrassed because I was with all your friends. And I was like, this is the worst. How am I having my worst game of bowling when I'm out with all your friends?

• 14:30Speaker 01

  It's good to humble you.

• 14:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's exactly how it felt. I was like, this is humiliating.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  I was awkward then. And then the moment we went, I was like, oh, this is fine. I overthink. When I was a kid, I had certain experiences growing up in my household that made me want to escape reality, I guess. And I also went to an all-girls school, which is just dynamite for any kid, any young girl growing up. It's, that's the deep end. And you know, you're surrounded by young girls that maybe come from very privileged families or have older sisters that they can borrow clothes and makeup from, or girls that are already dating boys. And it's like a minefield of like all these different milestones that you reach as a teenager. And I think I

• 15:16Speaker 01

  was just so awkward and I was really quiet as well and very observant. And I still am like that. But I think I truly believe anyone in this world can be a superstar. And when I say superstar, like the most confident, popular for a better word, or the best shiny version of themselves, if they're within the right agency of people. And I think I was just trying, I was just not in the right environment for me. And actually, leaving home young and starting to find my community, I found myself in places where I could be myself even more. Yeah, I think I was just awkward because instead of being a teenager, sometimes I actually was just constantly

• 16:00Speaker 01

  thinking about my career and what I wanted to do. So maybe that was just unrelatable for certain people.

• 16:06Jay Shetty?

  Do you look back at that now as a strength? Or do you feel like that made you miss out on being a teenager?

• 16:11Speaker 01

  I think in some ways it was maybe slightly isolating. But, you know, it made me who I am now. And I wouldn't say I'm missing out on anything because I have I have such a great community of friends and experiences now. And I'm still friends with some, some of the girls that I grew up with, but having that like wolf pack that you like go through prom and, you know, university and all those things with, I never really had that because of the career that I chose. Because it just took me so far and wide at a pace that was so maybe slightly unrelatable. I think I would regret it if I felt like I was lacking something now.

• 16:47Jay Shetty?

  It's interesting hearing about your experience of an all-girls school, because I went to an all-boys school. And I'd look back at it and go, I felt like there was no pressure on us. Because we didn't have girls to impress. Like, I can imagine if we had girls at school, we'd all have dressed differently, we would have acted differently, we would have put in more effort, but all of us would just kind of come to school not caring

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:08Jay Shetty?

  about anything. And there was almost like a freedom in it now when I look back to some degree. I mean, I'm sure there's all sorts of studies on whether boy's schools and girl's schools are good for people or development. And I don't know enough about it, but what I do know for me is at least it felt like there was no pressure and there was freedom. And there was something nice about that, at that age especially. But I wanted to go back a little bit because you were talking about growing up and even the home environment not always feeling as comfortable. And I wonder, one of my favourite questions to ask people is like, what's a childhood memory you have that you feel has defined who you are today?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  My mum has really strong values and

• 17:51Speaker 01

  she would always tell me stories that taught me those values. And one particularly was about

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Not being materialistic. My mum grew up in like a small village in the south of India, right, where it didn't matter what you wore or who you, what you did, how much money you earned, like your currency was your kindness and just who you were as a person. And I think my mum very much instilled that in me. And she always raised me and my brother to just have good values, to share, to not be materialistic. And there was a story she once told me about when she was a kid, and I think me and my brother were fighting over something like a piece of cake. It was, it was definitely some form of food. And she was like, you know, when you, once you've eaten it and you swallowed it, like, it's not food anymore. It's not, it's just mulch.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  It's nothing. So what are you guys fighting over? And I'll, I'll never forget that. It just made me kind of grow up not feeling possessive or precious over things. And this isn't something that I think she meant to instill in me, but I think it eventually evolved into me not being envious of people, especially my friends. I think it's really hard to have friendships with people if you're feeling envious of them. And I've experienced that vice like reverse. And it's, it's hard. Envy isn't really something I've ever had much experience with. It's not something that has like been in my mind too much.

• 19:18Jay Shetty?

  You're so right that envy destroys friendships.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  It does.

• 19:20Jay Shetty?

  I've had both experiences of it, or even seen it where people have said they lost a friend because they admitted they were envious, or they've lost a friend because they know their friend was envious of them.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 19:31Jay Shetty?

  Whether it was about their relationship, their money, their career, whatever it may be. What, what for you defines a good friend?

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Someone that's honest with you. And e- even if it's slightly uncomfortable, to be honest, about something. I think the, the term friend is an ongoing heartbeat, no matter what happens above that. For me personally, my friends are there for me, even if I'm having a really hard time, and I can be so annoying, and I don't stop talking about something, or I just can't seem to get through something, or I'm just not the best version of myself, but they're, they're still there. And they're supportive and they're, they accept me, even at my worst. When I have my, my wins and my, my moments of celebration where I want to bring everyone together, they show up and they're there. I think a good friend is, I guess it's the, the polar opposite of envy.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  It's just wanting your friends to win, wanting them to just have their flowers and have their moment that they've deserved, whether it's finding true love, or a career milestone, or whatever, something small, something big, whatever it is. Feeling such pride, joy and love for a friend when they achieve all of that, that's real friendship to me.

• 20:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it feels like you were saying that since moving to New York, your group of girlfriends feels really like that.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I've found in New York particularly, girls here, my, my friends, we're all in similar age groups, like late twenties, early thirties. And it is kind of that Sex and the City narrative of like, trying to find love in a city like this. And it's always the conversation we talk about whenever we're all hanging out. Or my girlfriends, we, we encourage each other to be fit and healthy, to go out and have fun, to go and take a risk, to do, to, to live our best lives in this city. And that's been so amazing for me, especially coming from like an all-girls school where I felt so awkward and out of place, and that, and quite

• 21:32Speaker 01

  unrelatable. I think growing up is learning how to relate to people and finding universal languages between people, no matter how different you are, how different your backgrounds are. And I think especially for women, to just annihilate competition and to just support each other. And it's all like, oh, I feel the same way, or that's happened to me before, or I feel insecure about these things, or awkward about these things. And it's just so, it's quite cathartic.

• 22:01Jay Shetty?

  How do you find those people? How do you get there? Because I feel like people listening to you right now, they're like, that's what I want. Like, I really wish I had that, but I'm surrounded by people who are envious, or shoot down my dreams, or don't make me feel like I can achieve anything. Like, how do you attract people like that? How do you find those people in such a big city like this?

• 22:18Speaker 01

  I don't think there's any algorithm to it. I was in London for like 10 years, and I still go back on and off for work and to see family and friends. I had many years to really grow quite a small but strong group of friends who are literally like my siblings. I met them, whether it was through work or through partners I dated, or whatever it might be. In New York, when I moved here last year, I knew nobody. And I was starting to film Double Wears Prada, and I, I got very lucky, actually. I, I got introduced to one of my friends, um, her name's Savannah, and she's just like a firework. She knows so many people, she's very social,

• 23:01Speaker 01

  and she literally took my hand and was like, we're gonna go out, like every other night, whether it's just for a dinner, or you're gonna come and meet this person, we're gonna go to this concert, and you just gotta come and meet people. And I just got lucky and fell into a group of people that really felt like open-armed community. It was something I manifested. I just said yes to everything. I tried to bring people together, or if I was going out to the gym or something, I'd invite my girlfriends to go. And I think it's just if you put it out there, then you'll find it. But you know, that, that took me some time to get to that place as a, as a person, to be so confident within myself, and to, to just go out there and throw myself

• 23:45Speaker 01

  out there. I guess anyone listening who is feeling lonely, or wanting to make more friends, or wanting to build that community, you know, I, I feel lonely all the time. But I think there's a difference between loneliness and being alone. Sometimes I gotta get out of my head and be like, I'm not lonely, just because I'm traveling on my own, or like, whatever. And actually practicing gratitude of, oh, I do have so many people that love and care about me. Social media's the worst. Social media will make you feel like the loneliest person. There's a culture of wanting to show that you're, you're busy, you're surrounded by people, you're loved, you're

• 24:27Speaker 01

  with a, a crowd of cool people, having this awesome evening, and everything's quite perfect. And, you know, social media's the worst for that, because I might be on my couch after like a 14, 16-hour day, exhausted. And, you know, maybe none of my friends are out and about, or whatever, I didn't get invited to something, and you see something on social media, and it makes you feel like a loser. But it's not real. I've matured enough to know that it's not real, and it's not, it's nothing to take personally, if that makes sense.

• 24:58Jay Shetty?

  No, that's huge. It's huge. And I, I love hearing you say that, because I'm sure people look at your life and think, I wish I had that, and I wish I could do that. And she's living in New York. And, and then you start to realize that it is all in our, it's half in our head and half on social media, where we have completely confused being alone and being lonely. And I was remembering, when I was doing some research on that, there's this amazing writer named Paul Tillich, and he wrote about how there's a difference between being in solitude and being lonely. And he was like, it's really interesting, in the English language, we always say I'm alone, we never say I'm in solitude. And solitude's the strength of being alone, solitude's the joy of being alone, and being alone is the pain of being alone, or the stress of being alone.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 25:42Jay Shetty?

  And he said, we just don't use that word. And so we just think alone means lonely.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:46Jay Shetty?

  And therefore lonely means sad, depressed, disconnected, away from everyone else. And I think that reframe that you just put out for people is really important. And like you said, you just finished a long workday or a work week, and you go on social media and you see everyone having a great time, of course you're gonna feel.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:04Jay Shetty?

  And everyone's only posting the best moments of the week. Like, no one's going up there and going, I'm, I'm alone today, you know, or, or some people are, but you're not seeing it as much. I think it's so, like friendships and adult friendships seems to be such a big theme in the world right now. Whether I'm reading a Substack, whether I'm on TikTok, whether I'm on Instagram, the conversation around finding adult friendships is huge. But from that, also the romantic perspective, you just said, you're kind of, you know, Sex and the City vibes, New York, girls that are dating. I've heard you say before, you're entering your single era.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 26:37Jay Shetty?

  And I wanted to know, what have you learned about yourself while being single that you didn't know about yourself when you're in a relationship?

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Being single, I think it's such a important time, because you really get to know yourself when the noise stops. I think it's really important to take that time and trust it, and sit in the discomfort of it. For me, I guess it, it became quite specific over this past eight months, because my, my life became so work consumed. Since January, I, I didn't stop traveling and shooting, doing press, filming, releasing music. So it was really important for me actually to, to be single and to prioritize myself and my work. I'm someone

• 27:25Speaker 01

  that I'm like, I can do it all. I can have a relationship and this career and like, do it all. And I probably can, but I just had to trust that.

• 27:33Jay Shetty?

  You can, for sure.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. You can, you can.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  I know. I'm, I'm the friend that's like, if your birthday's in three months, I know what I'm gonna get you, I'll organize it. And it's a joy for me, right? So I don't think it was a problem about like capacity. I just think maybe it was just about practicing stillness, and kind of connecting to what we were saying about feeling left out, or if you see things on social media and you feel like you're alone. I always try to go back to, like, what do I believe in? And it really strengthens me and my values, and what am I believing in right now? What, what, what are my work priorities? Or what are my, my friends, or whatever? It just, um, kind of makes you a bit more confident and comfortable in, within the silence. But

• 28:21Speaker 01

  manifesting is a real thing. Like, when my, my cup is full, and my batteries are fully charged, and I'm feeling healthy and happy, and I'm, I'm glowing, and I can only achieve that if I have had space to be on my own. And when I, when I've reached that level, things come to me.

• 28:39Jay Shetty?

  What are you trying to manifest right now in love?

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Manifesting love itself, to be really simple. And I think that is, you know, someone that I can experience joy with, someone that I can be myself with, someone that I can learn something from and learn about myself from. I really wanna meet someone that believes in my dreams and has dreams of their own, where they're not afraid to, to step in and just go for it, you know? I'm gonna say dreams, I'm not like, oh my gosh, like, big house on like, some awesome piece of land, and like, all these kind of things. It's much simpler than that. I think it's just finding someone that doesn't see it so complicated to do life with me, where it's just...

• 29:28Speaker 01

  You have an amazing connection, an amazing friendship and just is curious and excited to to give that a go. But also Jay, like I I don't know. I'm also, maybe I'm at a point as well now where I'm like, I don't know. I think it's gonna be a surprise to me, what what lands.

• 29:48Jay Shetty?

  I love that line you use because I've never heard someone say it like that. The idea of someone who doesn't find it complicated to do life with me. Like, that's such a great way of putting it.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:59Jay Shetty?

  Like, I think we're all looking for something that feels a little bit simpler, not that it's easy. I think just to be clear that I don't think relationships or love or any of that is easy. But you want it to be a bit simpler. You want it to make sense because the rest of life is so chaotic and crazy and intense and full of pressure. And you want to come home to something that feels a little bit lighter than that. And deeper as well, not not lighter in the sense of it doesn't have any gravitas or depth.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  It's a joy to make time for my friends. It's a joy to make time for my partner. It's a joy to organize things and plan around my work schedule. I'm the type of person, when I, when I rap at work, I'm so excited to go home to my partner and see them, share like my day, spend time with them. Everyone's like that when I say I'm the type of person, everyone feels that way.

• 30:51Jay Shetty?

  No, not everyone, I think.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  But I think that to to have that joy and excitement to make time and make memories and all of those things, it comes from a place of capacity. And I think I I just really believe in myself and I believe I deserve that kind of love. I believe I deserve that kind of life. And that self belief has led me to where I am in my career. And I think maybe I've had experiences where maybe there's a mismatch in in that capacity. I think it comes from a place of self belief. If you believe that you deserve all those things, that happiness, that joy, you will make it happen.

• 31:31Jay Shetty?

  We're manifesting it right now for you, right here, on purpose. This is, this is the moment that we're gonna come back to.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 31:37Jay Shetty?

  When it all happens and you say in this moment, you're locked in.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:40Jay Shetty?

  You're channeled.

• 31:42Jay Shetty?

  It's an important part of all of our lives, like it's such a real thing. And you are looking for someone who has a frequency match with you. And that frequency of generosity, that frequency of reciprocation, that frequency of the joy and the excitement that you're saying that you want to feel for someone when you go back, for someone to receive that and for someone to give that back.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:02Jay Shetty?

  And that requires you to live in that at all times. Because then you'll know.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 32:09Jay Shetty?

  It's like, if you're already living in that, when you go to meet someone or see someone, you'll know where they stand and how they feel and whether they're meeting you there or not. And this idea of, you know, everyone's always being honest with you.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:22Jay Shetty?

  And sometimes we're like, oh, they're not being honest with me because they're not telling me what's going on. And it's like, well, that's their honesty. Their truth is they're not telling you what's going on because that's who they are. And so everyone's always being honest with you if you only saw it that way.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:36Jay Shetty?

  Then no one's actually being dishonest because they're showing you what they can give, who they are and where they're at right now. And that's all they can give you.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  It's something I still struggle with, to be honest, because it's almost like I, I, I have like a piece of cake that's just the best, a preference cake quite a lot.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  And I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's so, it's delicious, it tastes so good. This is the best cake ever. If someone's not willing to try,

• 33:04Speaker 01

  I find it really hard because I'm like, if you did, I think you'd really like it. I've got to like, it's so stupid. What I'm trying to say is, I think I still struggle with understanding where someone else is at with their journey of self belief and space within their heart has nothing to do with me.

• 33:25Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  You're my friend, my brother, I've been on the phone to you, having conversations about this before. And that's something that I still struggle with to just not take it personally or make it about me. And I think, you know, sitting here saying this now, it makes sense and it resonates. But it's, it's something, it's.

• 33:42Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 34:26Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

• 35:10Jay Shetty?

  We talk a lot about intentional decision making and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options.

• 35:53Jay Shetty?

  I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade.

• 36:37Jay Shetty?

  Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Like a muscle I need to exercise, for sure.

• 36:48Jay Shetty?

  What do you think's the difference between like a failure at work? Because that we can take personally, but it seems like you don't. And then you've got a failure or rejection in relationships and we take, we take that much more personally. All of us, I think.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:02Jay Shetty?

  And so talk to me about the difference for you in both of those. Like if you have a door shut on you at work or an audition doesn't go well. I feel like being an actor, all I ever hear from all my actor friends is just like, God, I thought I was gonna get this project and then it didn't work out. But talk to me about the difference between failing at work and failing in life or love almost. And of course, it's not failure, but at least that's how it feels.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Rejection.

• 37:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, rejection, yeah.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  Disappointment.

• 37:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Since I was a kid, it was, it was written. I would never, I've not once said, if it doesn't work out, I've never, oh, I've said it now. But like, as an example, but I never, that thought, I wouldn't even let it enter my mind. It was written that all my dreams within my career were gonna have opportunity to come true.

• 37:46Jay Shetty?

  That's so powerful. I love that.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  It came from self belief. I just wanted it so much and I knew that I was capable. That was very internal. So anytime I got rejected or someone didn't believe in me professionally, it just, it touched the surface. It didn't erupt my internal belief at all. Sometimes I'd just be like, well, they're, they're dumb to not see like what I'm capable of. And like I got rejected so many times from like agencies or casting directors or whatever, directors when I was in my early twenties. But I never worried about it because I was just like, well, I know that the right people are gonna see my vision. And it did happen.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  And it's, you know, in no way have I achieved everything that I've wanted to, I've got a long way to go. And it, it makes me feel badass and confident. And so it's, it's something that no one can take away from me. It's something that I probably should practice applying to my personal life. But the difference is, the whole thing I was saying about it just touches the surface, rejection or disappointment professionally. When it's your personal life, friends or a partner that you love, you are giving them your internal belief. I'm sharing my belief with them. If someone doesn't understand that or rejects it, for me, it's, it's very emotional. I find it hard to just be like, oh, it didn't really affect me or it just touched the surface because.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  It's something that I don't give very often. And when I do, my self-belief changed my life and it colored my world. So when I give it to someone else and they don't want it, or they're scared of it, or it's too much for them, or whatever it might be, which is totally fine. I find it really hard to not let it shatter my world. And, and that's okay. I used to see personal Simone and professional Simone as two different people. You've said this before, like you've got your avatar and whatever. And actually, maybe something that I should try is just seeing it as one person, like that confident badass unstoppable kind of attitude I can have.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  Maybe I should just apply it more in relationships, but relationships really soften me. If I love someone, I want them to be part of that self-belief.

• 40:05Jay Shetty?

  I loved what you said, that relationships soften you, love softened you. I think that's why we want it. It's because you don't have to be this badass, focused. You don't have to be that way in love. You can use some of those skills and tools, but really what we want to do is just rest and be embraced and be held and hold back and be at peace. I was telling you this last night, I was talking to a client the other day and I was like, do you believe you'll be a billionaire? And they were like, yes. And this is a female client. And I was like, do you believe you'll be a billionaire? And she goes, yes. And I go, do you believe that there is the biggest, boldest, most beautiful love out there for you? She was like, I'm not sure. I love what you said. That I think love, we all want it to be soft, but it's the belief needs to be as strong in it

• 40:47Jay Shetty?

  existing and it being possible as we do in our career goals or our dreams or whatever it may be. It's like, can I hold the same belief for my love life, even though my love life will look very different? Because it will be softer, it will be peaceful, it will be less driven. You don't want your love life to be like work.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  No, yeah.

• 41:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And so I think, yeah, that that balance is really, really useful to hear. What's something that you used to value in a partner, but you don't value anymore? Someone may say, I used to value someone who was always there for me. And now I actually value a lot of interdependence, where like, they don't need to always be there. They're going to be busy sometimes, I'm going to be busy sometimes. And we've realized that that's what life actually looks like. Or something more superficial, like I used to value someone who always picked up the bill on the first day. And now I don't, because I want it to be an equal partnership. That's a more superficial example. Or on the deepest level, it's like, I used to value someone who believed in my dreams. And now I don't want someone who believes in my dreams. I can believe

• 41:51Jay Shetty?

  in my dreams, but I want someone who's cheering me on while I'm doing it.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  I think humans are, they're so layered. And the people I've fallen in love with, I've also fallen in love with their flaws. So for example, oh, I used to really value the funny guy. And now maybe I don't want to go for that. But actually, I can't honestly say that because I was so proud to be in love with someone so funny and so charismatic. And actually, maybe deeper beneath that, they were quite anxious and quiet or shy or slightly insecure or whatever it might be. And but it wasn't something that I saw as like a, oh, a red flag. I just thought

• 42:35Speaker 01

  it was a beautiful thing. I think I just definitely value someone who, no one's perfect, who has a relationship with themselves that's healthy. Because I think if you, if you can understand yourself, look in the mirror, understand who you are, or you're just willing to sit with the discomfort of your own journey and expanding who you are, all these different things. I think those are the kind of people I really can click with, because that's life. And I think that's something that I've learned ever since my early twenties. But only because I decided to do that for myself. I wanted to grow. I wanted to be a better version of myself. There were aspects of myself that I wanted to get rid of. So I'm kind of reverse answering your question in a way.

• 43:19Jay Shetty?

  No, but I hear what you're saying. You're saying that I want to embrace someone's flaws and the parts of them that they're still exploring and understanding. And at the same time, you need somebody who's working on that part as well and aware of those parts as well and trying to, because ultimately you can't carry those forever by yourself. And I think a lot of people do that in long-term relationships where they think they're making space for their partner's flaws, but actually they're just carrying them. And then eventually that weight breaks them down, because they go, well, I can't, I can't do this without you, because they're yours. And if you're not going to carry them and only I'm going to carry them, well, then I'm carrying myself and you.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:01Jay Shetty?

  And then eventually that's going to wear away and I'm not going to be able to hold that much weight.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  That's something I've had to learn, because my stamina can like overtake and be like, I'll do it. I'll, I'll carry, I'll carry both of us. But again, that comes from a place of self-belief of like, I've done it. I've done it for myself. And I'll show you, I'll show you how good it can be. And going back to your values question, like, at work, when people ask me, oh, what's your dream project? Or what's on your bucket list? And I always say, okay, here's a rough example of what I'd love to do in music or in my movies or other things. But there's never going to be the perfect project, like with the dream director, dream time, dream location, dream cast,

• 44:46Speaker 01

  all these things. And then for it to get greenlit and financed, and for a pandemic not to happen, and all these things. It's never, I don't believe it's ever like going to happen like that. It's, you meet opportunities and you surrender to it and you open yourself up to it. And you're like, oh, this, this is kind of my dream project for all these different things. It may not have this one thing that I wanted in it, but it's still amazing. And I think I'm like that when it comes to meeting people. I get taken by surprise quite a lot. And I think for, for me, first and foremost, it's born out of a connection. And I am quite drawn to people that are quite different to me in a way. Yeah. So I guess it's hard for me to even list like,

• 45:28Speaker 01

  perfect scenarios or things of a person might be. I think my values will always be kindness, you know, a zest for life. I think that the opposite of depression is creation, right?

• 45:39Jay Shetty?

  Oh, talking about that.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, let's create together. Let's, let's go on this journey together. Let's create a home together, a family together. Let's create experiences with our friends together. Even like, it's Sunday and we've got no plans. Let's create a cozy day together. Let's, that's making something like, you're moving forward in life and you're building and you're, you're just going forward. But it's the opposite of being stagnant and not giving something a go. And I definitely am drawn to people that are like, let's just do it. Let's give it a go.

• 46:17Jay Shetty?

  I think about that all the time. I'm like, really what you're looking for is a co-creator?

• 46:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:22Jay Shetty?

  Is not feeling like either of you are carrying everything or all of it, but that you're co-creating and there's so much magic when that happens. I wanted to ask you, obviously, you released your first EP this year.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:33Jay Shetty?

  Called Songs I Wrote in New York. I got to hear it early on. You were sending me stuff. So I was like, I was like, this is incredible. And I wanted to ask, what was it about, was it New York that brought that out of you? That you've always been a singer, you've sung since you were young, but was it like, was it being in New York? Was it certain experiences? What brought that out of you to do that here? And to obviously name it Songs I Wrote in New York?

• 46:56Speaker 01

  So it was something that was in development for about three years. Fraser T. Smith really reared me and developed me and really like guided me into songwriting and helping me discover and develop the kind of sound I wanted. And he always had that belief in me and that patience with me, because I was, in my lyric writing and my songwriting, I think I was trying quite hard to be bombastic, to be edgy in my lyrics, or to be a poet and all these things, which is fine. That's part of the exploration. But when I moved to New York, something happened

• 47:34Speaker 01

  where everything in my lyric writing and, um, what was coming out of my heart just felt so simple. And suddenly it just became a story and a narrative that a lot of people could relate to. And it was a narrative I was so proud of. Moving to New York was a massive, um, turning point in my life. It really helped me find my confidence in a larger way. I was meeting new people. In, you know, summer in New York was just, it's the perfect setting to, to write music for me. And I got very lucky working in the studio with Dan and Tulli, who are musicians

• 48:14Speaker 01

  I wrote my songs with, one of my songs with. New York got me out of my head, because my body will always have better ideas than my head. And it really, every time I'm in New York, I don't stop. And it's a, which is a good and a bad thing, but when it comes to making music, it just, everything felt so instinctual.

• 48:33Jay Shetty?

  It feels like these songs are so personal, especially someone who knows about your personal life. But I'm like, when you listen to the music, it feels so raw. Like, did it ever feel scary?

• 48:44Speaker 01

  So scary. So I, I've never felt so nervous in my life.

• 48:50Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:51Jay Shetty?

  Of everything you've done?

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Of everything I've done. When a movie comes out, the studio, the studio will protect me. Or if something goes wrong, it's on, it's usually, it can be on someone else. Or if it's on me, then, I don't know. I've, I've been quite protected. I'm not perfect in any way. I'm not flawless. And I'm sure I've had quite a few bodies of work that have come out where my performance isn't maybe up to scratch. But my music, it was, it was all me. It was so exposing. And I, I felt so nervous. I was quite a difficult person to be around for those few weeks.

• 49:28Jay Shetty?

  Was that because the music was also so personal? Was that a big part of it?

• 49:33Speaker 01

  I was scared it was going to be misunderstood. But anyone that listened to it was like, what are you talking about? Like, this is so positive. I think it was also, um, I was releasing at a time where I was still on a journey of finding my peace with certain things. So I think it was a, it was a mixture of that.

• 49:56Jay Shetty?

  So Freeze is my favorite song.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:58Jay Shetty?

  But I picked out a lyric from Tragic Romantic.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Diane Warren wrote that.

• 50:03Jay Shetty?

  Oh, no way?

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't write tragic.

• 50:04Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  But I'm interested to hear.

• 50:06Jay Shetty?

  This is a lyric though, but I mean, you put this in there. So, red flags look like roses to me. I keep wanting what I don't need. Keep running to what I should run from. It's always the same old story. I'm good with what's not good for me. Why, why was that an important lyric to have in there then? Even if Diane wrote it.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  There was a kind of tongue in cheek atmosphere around these lyrics, right? And I think the title tragic romantic is quite dramatic. And I think it was kind of a like, well, here we go again. Another one bites the dust kind of thing. We were talking about this earlier, that like, maybe addiction is too strong of a word, but just that I love falling in love and I love that journey and my heart's gonna get broken, but it's worth, it's worth it for all the highs. And, you know, I overlook the red flags because even if I get one petal of the rose, it's worth it. It, I don't think it's something that I practice in my daily life now, but I think

• 51:09Speaker 01

  there was something quite tongue in cheek about it that I felt a lot of people could relate to, especially my community of women. Tragic romantic was, I'm, you know, it was something that I felt nervous about. It's an, it's an amazing song and I was, I'm so honoured that Diane gave it to me and I worked with it on her. But I always want my message to be positive for young women and to have positive morals and lessons and values. And tragic romantic, I, there are aspects where I, I was like, I don't have to take it so seriously and it's a story and it's a chapter of a story.

• 51:45Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are, but it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options. I'm always looking for ways to improve the harmony of space at home, but it isn't easy. I want pieces that can ground me and still hold up to the test of time. I went on Wayfair and found a stunning solid wood nightstand and credence I love. Now my bedroom is the perfect place to wind down. Both pieces are incredibly sturdy, grounding and completely transformed the energy of my space. Plus you can shop with Wayfair verified with product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality. So you can shop with more confidence and if putting it all together sounds like a

• 52:29Jay Shetty?

  headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Tell me about Free.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  Free is like one of my favourite songs. Every time I talk about it with people about the story of the writing and the message behind it, it just makes me feel this really delicate kind of happiness. I wrote it with Dan and Tolu within like four hours and I remember the day so vividly. I think it was on a Monday and I went in the studio and I was telling them about this experience that I had over the weekend and I was just so full of happiness. And I was like, hey, you have some happiness, you have some happiness. Like it just felt so, it was just overflowing.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  And so we started writing the song and they were so excited that I was sharing my story with them. And Dan, when we got to writing the middle eight, the bridge of the song, I'll, I'll never forget it. He, he sat down on his chair and he looked at me and he was like, you know, the real acid test for writing a love song like this, like Free, is if you can write down the lyrics on a sheet of paper and read it out, almost like it's a speech to this person. Maybe it's your wedding day or whenever it might be. And you're just saying the lyrics as if it was a speech and it all makes sense. And something just clicked in my head as soon as he said that. And it, it freaked me out as well.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  Like this experience was so fresh and there I was in the studio making this very confessional song. And though the lyrics are incredibly simple, when someone listens to it, it's very easy listening, soulful, warm, I hope, and lyrics are so simple. But Free was about, for me, it was all about gratitude. Um, I was saying this to you last night at dinner. I think in day to day life, happiness can remain quite dormant within ourselves. And sometimes we have experiences or we meet people that just bring it alive and remind you of it. And it was just one of the best, happiest experiences of my life and I was so proud of it.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  And I was so proud of myself of how much love I had to give and that I saw and believed in. And Free was about documenting that so that happy memory could just live forever, like gave it wings and it could just live forever. And then I ended up writing quite a good song, like my, my whole team were like, damn, this is, this is a good song. I was, I was with a band doing live rehearsals the other week and they've worked with like some pretty, um, pretty big artists and they were like, this is a good song, girl. And I was like so proud of it because it came from a place of just pure, pure love.

• 55:31Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Yeah. You feel it when you hear it. And I've loved all the acoustic versions you're posting on TikTok too.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Monocam.

• 55:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. It's great, it's great. It's, it's great to just see it like in that raw.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:42Jay Shetty?

  Version of you just hanging out at home and singing along and it's, what has allowing yourself to sing and share your voice and write done for you differently than acting? Like what, what does it do for you as a person, as a human?

• 55:56Speaker 01

  I think I've kind of made my own opportunity, um, to have space for my voice to be heard. In the film industry, I'm still working really hard and grafting to get to projects, which I know will happen for me where I can really showcase what I'm capable of. And I have had many opportunities like that, but there's even more that I can do. And sometimes it can, it, it takes time because like we were saying, it's finding the, the thing that perfectly aligns at the right time. But with my music, singing came before acting for me. I was singing since I was like six years old. I love it so much and, um, I never wanted to look back and feel regretful that I didn't make it happen.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  And I, I have a team of people that really believe in me and I've been working with people that really believe in me. So I'm very lucky in that sense. But, um, yeah, it, it gives me more opportunity to use my voice creatively because I know myself more than anyone. So I'm not limited in that way.

• 56:58Jay Shetty?

  I respect you so much for doing it. I think it's so easy to get caught in our lanes.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:03Jay Shetty?

  And we are living at a time when multi hyphenates can exist and people are doing more than one thing, but still I feel like it's so easy for people to label us and for us to label ourselves and say, this is all I am. And if I pivot, then people won't take me as seriously in this area. And, and I completely disagree with that because it's almost like, if you've already achieved what you've achieved, the joy is in trying everything you always wanted.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:27Jay Shetty?

  And I often say that to my team where I'm like, I'm already living in bonus land. I want to do everything. Like I want to try stuff that my childhood self couldn't believe I'd have an opportunity to do this because otherwise I'm going to regret it. At the end of my life, I'm going to look back, no one's going to remember me anyway. And so no one's gonna care.

• 57:44Speaker 01

  I really thank you.

• 57:45Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, in a good way, in a good way. I mean, in like a genuine way, like most people are not going to remember the biggest musicians of all time after a hundred to 200 years. Like you just won't. You know, when you look at history, like the only people that have really lasted in history are like Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, Mohammed. Like, you know, you look at like religion and spirituality or people who changed the world or the Stoics from 2000 years ago. But you don't really remember people beyond certain time periods. And it's a good thing to remember because it takes the pressure off and you go, oh God, I can do so many things.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:18Jay Shetty?

  And I should do what my heart's calling me to. No, I'm not saying do things because you can. I'm saying do things because you've always known that that's who you are, which is, which is what you're saying. We have a game for you, Simone.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:29Jay Shetty?

  This game is called Would You Rather Dating Game.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:32Jay Shetty?

  So we want to find out because we are trying to manifest this for you today on the show.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:37Jay Shetty?

  So Dating Game Would You Rather Simone Ashley, are you ready?

• 58:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm ready.

• 58:41Jay Shetty?

  Would you rather date someone who has never been in a serious relationship or someone who just got out of a 10 year relationship?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  I'm gravitating towards dating someone that has been in a long-term relationship.

• 58:53Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  But again, who knows?

• 58:57Jay Shetty?

  It's a game, it's a game, Simone.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 58:58Jay Shetty?

  No, no, go on, no, go on, no, go on. I'm gonna let you philosophise. No, I like, I like it when you become a philosopher, so go on.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  No, I mean, you never know. You could date someone that's never been in a long-term relationship and it could be dynamite. It could be the best thing ever.

• 59:12Jay Shetty?

  Cool.

• 59:12Speaker 01

  What do you think?

• 59:13Jay Shetty?

  I think I gravitate towards someone who knows what commitment looks like too. If it's been enough time.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:19Jay Shetty?

  If it's been enough time.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:20Jay Shetty?

  I think that's a really important part of that answer because if it's immediate, then that's unhealthy. But if it's been enough time, I gravitate towards that answer because I just feel like that person knows what it looks like to commit and grow and build.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:34Jay Shetty?

  And, and has experience. It depends what age you are as well. We're talking about like people in their late twenties, mid thirties. I think that's, if you haven't had a long-term relationship, what's the reason? And again, there could be a really good reason.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:45Jay Shetty?

  And that's fair too. Would you rather be with someone who falls for you very quickly or someone who takes things extremely slow?

• 59:52Speaker 01

  I think, look, falling very quickly, I think I'm someone that does that and I gravitate towards that. I think it's about choice. If it's two people making a choice and it's like, I feel this, I'm ready, let's go for it. I think when it's like you fall quickly and then someone's like, oh, I don't know. I'm, I'm changing my mind now. Like, I don't know. I've got a very big, open heart, so it's hard. I don't know, this game is hard.

• 1:00:18Jay Shetty?

  You did great. There's no, there's no right answer.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:20Jay Shetty?

  The good thing about the game is there's no answer.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:22Jay Shetty?

  All right. Would you rather date someone who plans every date six weeks in advance? Or someone who prioritizes being spontaneous?

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Spontaneous.

• 1:00:29Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I do. But you're the planner, though. You were like.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  I'm the planner, but I, I really gel well with people that are spontaneous. Cause it, it gets me out my head and encourages me.

• 1:00:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Their gift six months in advance.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Jay Shetty?

  But, yeah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  I love spontaneity.

• 1:00:43Jay Shetty?

  Would you rather date someone who knows exactly what they want? Or someone who is totally open to where life takes them?

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Totally open.

• 1:00:50Jay Shetty?

  Would you rather be with someone who wants to spend every free moment together? Or someone who gives you lots of independence?

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Lots of independence.

• 1:00:57Jay Shetty?

  Why?

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Because I need that with my lifestyle. I, I can't, I'll go crazy.

• 1:01:03Jay Shetty?

  They're texting you every moment going, Simone, where are you?

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  No, because I think it's attractive as well. If someone is like, I'm doing my thing. Cause I, I think then suddenly I feel responsible.

• 1:01:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  And that's not cool.

• 1:01:14Jay Shetty?

  We're just, we're just giving clues to the public. That's what we're doing here. This is like, we've got a lot of people who watch the show, got a lot of everyone, got a lot of celebrities, got a lot of athletes, got a lot of music, you know, so we're gonna, we're gonna get this out there. Yeah. Would you rather date someone who insists on talking through every disagreement immediately? Or someone who always needs a night to think first?

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  It depends. Again, it's all can, I, I'm like, let's talk about it. It's not that hard.

• 1:01:40Jay Shetty?

  I'm a let's talk about it kind of person too, yeah.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Jay Shetty?

  Would you rather date someone who's your biggest cheerleader? Or someone who's your most honest critic?

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Biggest cheerleader.

• 1:01:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Like, I've got so many people that can be my honest critic, my friends, my team, like, you don't have to bullshit me, but yeah, be my cheerleader. Hundred percent.

• 1:01:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you're right. You can find other people to do the other one. That's the point. You can find people in your life who'll be really honest with you, but you want your partner to have you back.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you rather be the one to say, I love you first? Or have your partner say it before you?

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  My last experience, I, I wasn't the one to say it first and I kinda liked that. I was like, okay, cool. Protects you.

• 1:02:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. So that's the way we go. And then do you say it back immediately or do you wait?

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Oh, it's all within context, Jay. It's all within context. But yeah, I mean, look, if I felt the same way, then yeah, or eventually.

• 1:02:35Jay Shetty?

  Eventually. So you'll make someone wait. Someone could say, I love you. And you like literally wouldn't say anything to them for seven days.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 1:02:41Jay Shetty?

  No, okay.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Within con, it's all within context.

• 1:02:44Jay Shetty?

  All within context.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  But okay, let's say in this, in this moment, if someone, if I was with someone, I felt the same way and they said, I love you. Yeah, I'd say it back.

• 1:02:51Jay Shetty?

  Okay, we're just throwing it out there. Throwing it out there. I'm just, I'm just being a big brother, you know, like helping you out here. That's, that's what we're doing.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  Appreciate it.

• 1:02:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's what we're doing. Simone, I think, one thing I wanted to talk to you about was this idea that I feel people feel, especially like, you're 31 now, you said. And it's like, turning 30 is a big deal for people. And I feel society, social media has made it an even bigger deal for people. One of the biggest things I think people worry about, even when it comes to envy, comparison, friendship, one of the biggest themes is timelines. And I think we all had a timeline when we were growing up or we saw timelines around us. Figure out your dream job by 30, get married by 35, have kids by 40, and maybe that's all pushed back by 10 years. Maybe 10, 20 years ago, that was even five years earlier, whatever it may have been. Talk to me about how you handle comparing timelines with friends, family and people around you.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  Not perfectly. In my family, I'm somewhat the anomaly. My brother, he just had a baby.

• 1:03:50Jay Shetty?

  I know. Congrats.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 1:03:51Jay Shetty?

  He's so cute.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got opposite lifestyles, right? Like, he got married, got the dog, had a baby, all of those things. And I'm so, so proud of him and happy for him. And he's such an amazing example. I've just moved to New York and I'm making movies, making music, travelling all over the place. And sometimes that can feel a bit scary. But I think you just, you gotta trust it. You gotta trust your journey. You gotta have faith in your journey. Don't compare and despair. I think it's hard as a young woman as well. You know, the 30s are all like,

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  when you're gonna have kids, all, all these kind of things. Um, I think in my moments of where I'm feeling low, I can't put pressure on myself. And be like, wow, the next person, I've got to be really careful. I've got to do all these things. I've put a timeline on my years and like set out a plan. But when I'm feeling the best version of myself, I just let it go. And I'm like, so, so much gratitude for the life I have. And I just manifest it, trust it, trust it, trust it. And your, my time will come for my personal life or the dreams that I wanna have personally, that'll happen when it's meant to happen.

• 1:05:08Jay Shetty?

  I've seen people who got married early, then had kids late. I've seen people who got married late and had kids immediately.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Jay Shetty?

  And I've seen people who crushed their career. And then found love late. And then I've seen people who found love in their twenties and then figured out their career at 40. I feel like the timeline thing is such a messy indicator of success.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:32Jay Shetty?

  Because anything can speed up, slow down or 180 at any point. And you see that with people at all stages. Like, you know, when I watch your career trajectory, it's incredible. Like, it's so awesome. I'm such a proud friend and just watching you just achieve all these incredible things. And do them so phenomenally well, carry yourself with grace, put yourself out there. I've met your friends, they're amazing people. Like just, there's so much of your life that you've got right. And I think sometimes people usually rush the last piece of the puzzle. And that can almost crumble everything. Because you already worked so hard to build all these facets of your life up. And what you just said, when you trust yourself.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Jay Shetty?

  And you trust yourself in the last piece of the puzzle. You start to recognize it's not the last piece. There's always gonna be more pieces that keep getting added to this beautiful picture that you're building. But when you think, oh gosh, this is the last piece. I need to figure it out. You just try and like squish anything there. And then that can start to affect and disjoint everything else. And so I think it's so fascinating, whether it's career, whether it's love, whether it's friends, whether it's family. Like, I've seen people who've found love, who have a great career. And then they're doing therapy with their mum at 60 years old. And that's what's healing their, their whole experience, right?

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  It shouldn't be a race to success in terms of having, settling down, finding a person, marriage, career. I don't think it should be a race to success. It should be a race to just finding peace and happiness. And that can take place at so many different places in everyone's life.

• 1:07:03Jay Shetty?

  Have you ever lived that experience of getting to a place where you're like, this is it? And then it wasn't? Because I imagine, yeah, you've talked about this idea of like nearly.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:11Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about that.

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  The nearly's are the ones that really, um, I find hard to process. And to make peace with and to understand and to let go. Because, again, cause I'm such a dreamer and I'm like, well, why not? Like, we had all the ingredients. Like, it was a nearly. But again, if we apply it to what I did in my work life. You know, it took me some time to really understand this, but if I didn't get a job or if it was a nearly. I really learnt quite quickly that it was opening doors to something else. And when it came to work, it's so, it's so easy to understand that and accept that. And it, and it happened for me. There were so many things in my early twenties.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  I nearly got. And I'm so glad it didn't happen. So glad it didn't happen. Because if it did, I, I think things would have been maybe a little bit more complicated or different. Yeah, I think in my personal life, because you just want it. I want it right now, kind of thing. So when it's a nearly, it's hard to practice that acceptance and patience.

• 1:08:15Jay Shetty?

  Is there a particular example you can think of?

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  I could count on like forehands, the amount of projects in my early twenties where I was like, I got to the final rounds, I got to the screen test, where I flew over and did the chemistry read. And it was like, oh my gosh, I was dreaming about it. And I was imagining what it was gonna be like. And I could taste it. And I didn't, I didn't get it. I look back and I'm so glad it didn't happen because things that did end up changing my life. I probably wouldn't even been available to, to do them. When opportunities don't happen, it's giving space for something else. And it's kind of an annoying thing to say, because everyone says that. And it's really hard to trust it and believe it. But from experience, work wise. Oh my gosh, that, I, I put money on it.

• 1:08:59Jay Shetty?

  Nine years ago.

• 1:09:02Jay Shetty?

  I got contacted by a production company in LA, which I lived in New York at the time, where we are right now. And they were like, Jay, we want to produce a TV show with you. We'll go and pitch it out to all the big streamers and production companies and everything else. And come and do it. So I was like traveling to LA on my own money, which I didn't have a lot of at the time. I was coming up with a sizzle reel, coming up with a deck, figuring it all out on top of my day job, flew out, went and did meetings, came back, flew out, went and did pitches. And I remember being in a meeting with Netflix and Netflix turned down my pitch. This was nine years ago. And I would never have started on purpose if they didn't turn it down.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:41Jay Shetty?

  Because I would have got this show, maybe it would have run for two, three seasons.

• 1:09:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Jay Shetty?

  Obviously, I wouldn't have been in charge of it. It wouldn't have been my show. I wouldn't have owned it. And now I'm like, now we're back on Netflix. And it's just so, but, but it's like, it's my show. I own the show. It's I get to decide who I sit with. I get to decide who I talk to. I get to decide what it looks like, everything. And I'm like, wow, like, that moment when I got rejected, it felt like.

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  You couldn't see all of this.

• 1:10:05Jay Shetty?

  I couldn't see all of this. I had no idea. And I was like, oh, well, who knows? Like, maybe I'm not made for this in this way. And whatever, you could tell all these stories. And then you go, no, actually, that shining was the best nine years later. It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:19Jay Shetty?

  And I think it's so hard because we kind of live in these little tiny cycles of it's the worst three months of my life. It's the worst six months of my life. And it's like, actually, if you zoom out, you look at life, and you keep working and you keep focused, things will work out and make more sense.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  If it's meant to be for you, it will happen. Also, careful what you wish for sometimes, you know? I nearly wasn't able to do Bridgerton.

• 1:10:42Jay Shetty?

  Because?

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Before the pandemic started, before everything shut down, I was on Little Mermaid. And I have quite a small role in that. So proud to be part of that production. But yes, I was one of the Mermaid Sisters, really small role. I had like one line. But they'd booked me to film in Sardinia, the spring, summer of 2021. And because of the pandemic, like, things got delayed and delayed and delayed. And when I got Bridgerton, they said no. They, I think they kind of, they didn't actually look into the details of it of like, what Bridgerton was, the, the scale of my character, like, how big it was for me. No one knew who I was. No one really cared. And they said no. And luckily, my manager

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  at the time, my team, really eloquently fought for it. And they were like, this, this is going to change her life. You gotta let her go. Over like two days, filming somewhere and somewhere, you gotta let her go. And yeah, they, thank God, Rob Marshall, let me do it. And yeah. And so careful what you wish for. I say that as an example of you might really want something and you get it. And it could really mess up what happens in the future.

• 1:11:56Jay Shetty?

  Those are those sliding door moments where it could go either way. Yeah, that's why you've got to be so intentional in those moments. And be really careful about what you're really trying to build.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Jay Shetty?

  Because in one sense, one's bigger. In the, in the Little Mermaid feels bigger in the moment, but then one's bigger for you.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:12:12Jay Shetty?

  And it's better for you and what you're building.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  And be careful to not emotionally react to desperation, which is a really human thing to feel. There is no shame in feeling desperate. Like, as an artist, feel desperate all the time, like, all the time, hungry all the time. And I think, you know, look, we're talking purely about work. I think I'm in a very privileged place to sit here and talk about this. But when you're desperate and you really want something and you're hungry for something, sometimes you can make decisions that in the long term don't suit you. So that's something I've really learned with work as well.

• 1:12:50Jay Shetty?

  What would you say to someone who feels behind in life?

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  I think, you know, you could say the things like, be grateful for what you already have, or it's that that's going to come for you. Just believe in yourself, work really hard and it'll happen for you. But when you feel behind in life, it's something that's quite deep. Feeling behind in life comes from a place of maybe you have to practice what life really is, you know, practicing, how can you just be, you know, and not have all the things that make you feel successful or confident or in control? How can you just be and be okay with it? Because I don't think there's an answer to that. I think we're always going to go through feeling behind, feeling like someone's got something

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  better than me, feeling disappointed. And there's no quick fix because sometimes things are out of our control. And sometimes you've just got to be. And if you can be okay with that and be at peace and be happy with that, no matter what's going on, which is, you know, really hard. I'm not perfect at all. But that's what my answer, my real answer would be.

• 1:13:56Jay Shetty?

  The biggest problem with feeling behind and looking out is that one day you'll be ahead and then looking over your shoulder. And both positions are just not great to be. Whereas if you learn to just be where you are and recognize, let me get comfortable with this, let me understand me, then whether you're ahead or behind, it won't matter to you. Whether you're number one or number 100 on the list, it won't matter to you because you were comfortable in your own skin. And if you're number one, one day you'll be number two, and one day you'll be number three. And if you're number three, one day you may get to two or one. And that's always going to just move and change.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  Exactly. But I think to that point, maybe you do get to a place where you have all the things you want, but you're not happy. So even if you are feeling behind in life, like, how can you find, what does happiness mean to you? You know, how can you find happiness without all the things to fix it?

• 1:14:49Jay Shetty?

  What's the biggest pressure you've had to let go of in your 30s?

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, I think getting married, but I don't, I don't feel that pressure at all, to be honest, from my family or anyone. I can make it feel like a pressure when I'm feeling frustrated, or I feel like there's, you know, something I'm doing that's stopping myself. I think it's a, it's a want and a desire to find someone. And I think I'm trying to be careful to not turn that into pressure.

• 1:15:15Jay Shetty?

  I love that answer because what's interesting is you can want the same thing, but it can either feel like a pressure or it can feel like a pursuit, something you're excited about, the desire part that you just mentioned there. And often what we do is we go, I want it, I don't want it, right? So we oscillate between like, we think the point is, if I want something too badly, whatever it may be, work, career, love, we go, okay, I better go to the other end and not want it. And it's not that. It's actually going from, how can I turn it from being a pressure to a pursuit, and a desire, and an excitement, and joy, and abundance? Because I'm, it's okay to want it. I'm not wrong for wanting it. And I think sometimes we make ourselves feel, no, no, no, I shouldn't want it. I should just forget about it. And it's like, no, no, no, how do I purify it?

• 1:15:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:57Jay Shetty?

  To want it from a place of abundance and joy and bliss and excitement as opposed to wanting it from pressure, desperation, stress, frustration.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  Exactly. It makes me think, you've seen Shawshank Redemption?

• 1:16:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course. Yeah.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  I can't remember the quote, but there's that quote about time and pressure, because the whole story is about them chipping away. And it's taking time. And in terms of geology, like pressure to get through this wall.

• 1:16:22Jay Shetty?

  Geology is the study of pressure and time. That's all it takes, really, pressure and time.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  His dream was the escape.

• 1:16:29Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  So it always inspired me. And it remind, what you were asking me reminded me of that. Because if that's my dream, then how do we take time and pressure and not make pressure this bad, dark word?

• 1:16:41Jay Shetty?

  Simone, it's been such a wonderful time talking to you, as always. And we get to do this, I'm lucky, I get to do this offline with you all the time.

• 1:16:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:50Jay Shetty?

  But the last time I saw you, apart from last night at dinner, was I got to come to the premiere of Devil Wears Prada 2.

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:56Jay Shetty?

  Which I'm such a big fan of the first one. And so you giving me that opportunity to come and crash with your team and come to the premiere that you were such a big part of the movie was unbelievable. The movie was awesome. I loved it. I thought it was like a brilliant sequel. It was so awesome being at the premiere, being with you, seeing you be celebrated and, you know, and you living off of crazy little amounts of sleep. I had no idea how you didn't even get to go to your own after party and had to run to London.

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:24Jay Shetty?

  The next morning. But I mean, being a part of that, you've talked about it so much. I've seen so many of your interviews. It must have been so special. Now, when you look back on it, because the movie's out, and of course, it's going to go out on streaming soon. But now that the movie's already out, when you look back on an experience like that, what do you remember?

• 1:17:41Speaker 01

  Changed my life, changed my world, professionally and personally. I remember every detail of that experience. I remember everything. I've just felt so proud to be part of something of that caliber with.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  That cast and to be working with David and Eileen and just one of those experiences and moments in my life that just, I really, I've never felt so present in my life. Best, best experience of my life professionally, but my world around me, moving to New York and what was happening to me around that time, the happiest I've ever been in my life. So forever, so much gratitude towards that. I remember getting the call. So many people have asked me like, oh, apparently there's this video of you when you get the call of getting this movie. And we started talking around this time. Our friendship was just like starting to grow and I was going through a few experiences.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  And when I got this call, I was just so happy and I was very emotional. And I've, I've never shared the video with anyone like, cause I just, I find it a bit weird doing that, but I'll give it to you.

• 1:18:55Jay Shetty?

  Oh, please.

• 1:18:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:57Jay Shetty?

  No way.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can do what you want with it.

• 1:18:59Jay Shetty?

  No way. Oh my God, wow. You haven't shown it to me before either.

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 1:19:04Jay Shetty?

  I don't think you've sent it to me, yeah.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  No, because it's really emotional, it's a lot.

• 1:19:07Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful though.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  But I remember that because happiness was just surrounding me that year. I'm very, very grateful for it.

• 1:19:15Jay Shetty?

  Well, once I've seen it and once we talk about it, I'll decide what I do with it.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, go on.

• 1:19:20Jay Shetty?

  That is very sweet of you and I, that's, that's beautiful. I remember what a challenging time it was and so I can't imagine. And it's always like that in life, like there's one door opening, another closing, another, you're trying to break down and other, you know, it's, and I've always felt like as your friend, like you've just navigated it well, as best as you can as a human, really, it's, you know? And, and your mission's so clear of how you want to inspire others and help others. And I think that keeps you.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  But I think to that point, like anyone listening to this, I, I speak a lot about these amazing moments and how happy I am or I was and the gratitude towards it. But that, that is something I want to emphasize, like my life is not that all the time. I'm a young woman going through the journey of a young woman, you know? And there's ups and downs and there's fails and there's moments of darkness. But if there's anything I do want to share with people is to inspire them to, to practice remembering the happy moments and being grateful for them because that's your, that's your light in the dark.

• 1:20:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I, I always say that we remember the bad times more than the good times because when something bad happens, we cry for a month and when something good happens, we celebrate for a day.

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:35Jay Shetty?

  And that's why what you're saying is you've got to shift it.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:38Jay Shetty?

  It's like, we're just not good at, like if something good happens, we're like, have one night and then it's over and then back to work tomorrow. But if something bad happens, you're like talking about with your friends for a month, you're crying about it. It defines like three months of your life and that's why you remember it more. And I love that reframe and shift for you. Simone, we end every interview of On Purpose with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one sentence maximum.

• 1:20:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:20:59Jay Shetty?

  So Simone, Ashley, these are your final five. Question number one, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  Be kind.

• 1:21:04Jay Shetty?

  Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  That person will always be there.

• 1:21:10Jay Shetty?

  Describe in one sentence each of these people. Meryl Streep.

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  Icon.

• 1:21:15Jay Shetty?

  Anne Hathaway.

• 1:21:16Speaker 01

  Icon.

• 1:21:17Jay Shetty?

  Emily Blunt.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  So funny. Icon.

• 1:21:21Jay Shetty?

  Stanley Tucci.

• 1:21:22Speaker 01

  So funny and cheeky. Yeah.

• 1:21:26Jay Shetty?

  Simone, Ashley.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  Your friend.

• 1:21:28Jay Shetty?

  I was expecting so funny and icon and awkward.

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  And awkward, yeah, no, okay.

• 1:21:33Jay Shetty?

  So funny, icon, awkward. That's, that's yours. That's my, my answer to this. Question number four, what helps you in your hardest moments?

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  I'll wallow and feel about myself, but to get me out of that, I, I'll dream big. I'll go back to all the things I have coming up and just listening to music or going on a run or something and just dreaming big. I'll live in my dreams for a bit and that kind of takes me out and then that's my mission. Yeah.

• 1:22:03Jay Shetty?

  Fifth, the final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:22:11Speaker 01

  Be respectful. I don't know.

• 1:22:13Jay Shetty?

  Being respectful would be great.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  You've had so many people on here that probably said something really like profound.

• 1:22:19Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, people do both. Like people say be kind and be respectful, like people say that and then people come up with like, you should be locked out of your phone for the amount of minutes you use it and things like that.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:30Jay Shetty?

  Like people come up with like more technical stuff. It's up to you, it doesn't matter.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Simone, thank you so much.

• 1:22:36Speaker 01

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:22:37Jay Shetty?

  Honestly, this was incredible. I can't, can't wait to see you again. I'm so glad that we got to do this and kind of, I, I feel like it's a time capsule of our friendship. I feel like we can come back to this in like 10 years and 20 years and look back on it and be like.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Jay Shetty?

  Look what happened from, you know, this conversation, that conversation, and I hope you'll come on again.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:22:54Jay Shetty?

  In the future, but honestly, I'm so proud of you, so grateful that you exist.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:22:58Jay Shetty?

  So excited to see what you'll continue to do in the world, the path that you're saying, the example you're saying for so many young women across the world and myself and people like myself. So inspiring and thank you for being so raw, real and, and true. I appreciate you deeply, truly.

• 1:23:12Speaker 01

  Thank you. Thanks so much, Jay.

• 1:23:14Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:23:15Speaker 02

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• 1:23:44Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series, East of Eden, a bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece, following generations of the Trask family through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity, starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask brothers and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants, no matter the cost. Watch East of Eden, October 1st, only on Netflix.

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  Mr. President, my company for me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all keep the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:24:32Speaker 05

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:24:37Speaker 04

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:24:40Speaker 05

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:24:41Speaker 04

  Digger, see the trailer online, only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R, under 17, not a minute without parent.