Coral Santoro: The #1 Reason Most People Never Reach Their Goals (Use THIS 1% Rule to Keep Making Progress When Motivation Disappears)

Many of us feel pressured to keep up with timelines, expectations, and the highlight reels we see online, but this conversation offers a different perspective. Coral Santoro shares how success is less about reaching a destination and more about who you become through resilience, patience, and self-belief. From navigating failure and uncertainty to building meaningful relationships and staying true to your vision, she reminds us that there is no universal timeline for achievement. This episode is a powerful reflection on purpose, courage, and the importance of continuing to build your life, even when progress is quiet, slow, and unseen. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Stop Comparing Your Timeline to Others How to Keep Going When It Stops Being Exciting How to Turn Failure Into Useful Data How to Stay Patient While Chasing Big Goals How to Find Success in the Boring Work How to Surround Yourself With Supportive People How to Communicate Better in Relationships and Business How to Keep Building Even When No One Believes in You Every challenge, setback, and uncertain moment is shaping you into someone stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Keep showing up, keep learning, and keep building. The life you want is not created in a single breakthrough, it’s built through the small, consistent choices you make every day. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:32 Why You’re Not Falling Behind 03:25 How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others 08:35 The 3 Traits That Drive Success 13:19 The Secret to Staying Patient 16:50 Focus on Your Own Path 26:37 Building the Right Circle Around You 29:32 Finding Beauty in Life’s Quiet Moments 36:59 Simple Ways to Train Your Brain for Success 42:41 Hearing More, Listening Less 45:22 This or That: Entrepreneurial Mindsets 50:59 How to Grow a Social Media Following 54:41 The Power of Choosing the Right Partner 01:03:36 Why Great Communication Changes Everything 01:07:57 Coral on Final Five Episode Resources: Website | https://www.coralsantorogroup.com/ YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8WGOzdnEcNaYioYrP132Gg Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/p/Coral-Santoro-61570173779394/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/coralsantoro/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/company/coralsantoroventuresinc TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@coral.santoro X | https://x.com/coralsantoroo See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Jay Shetty?

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• 1:14Jay Shetty?

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• 1:54Jay Shetty?

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• 2:20Speaker 02

  Failure does not exist, it's just data. It's gonna make you question a lot of things about yourself if you're capable, if it's worth it.

• 2:26Jay Shetty?

  What do you successful people have that people who don't make it don't have?

• 2:30Speaker 02

  They keep going even when it stops being exciting.

• 2:35Jay Shetty?

  How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else's?

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Success does not have a finish line, so we can't compare something that does not exist. Once you believe you are better than anyone else, you're done.

• 2:49Jay Shetty?

  Carl Santoro, welcome to On Purpose. It's great to have you here.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for having me, I'm so excited.

• 2:55Jay Shetty?

  Carl, I've been such a fan of yours from afar. We don't know each other, we just met today.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:00Jay Shetty?

  But I've been following your content. It's always direct, it's clear, the message is easy to understand, easy to apply. There are millions of people across the world that are following you, learning from you. And you just told me that the number one Google question about you is, is Carl Santoro AI?

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Well, I think we all in this room can confirm that I'm not, so I love it.

• 3:21Jay Shetty?

  I'm not sure yet, I'm not sure.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  I'm not sure. Is Jay Shetty doing the first hologram ever?

• 3:25Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, I would not do an AI interview.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  No, I love it, so yeah, I'm very much real.

• 3:29Jay Shetty?

  How does that make you feel? How does that make you feel when people are asking that question?

• 3:32Speaker 02

  It is so funny because I'm in the actual tech space, so I develop software, so I'm in an AI. And when they started asking me about these things, I'm like, it kind of makes sense, but at the same time, as soon as I started posting more content, a lot of the people started realizing it was not. I still get a few questions here and there, but it was mostly about me coming into the space of social media because what I do is like the fun side of my life. What I actually do is tech. So I came into this space and I understood it because no one had seen me before. And in this moment that we are, you don't know what's real or what's not. So I kind of understood it and that's the point that I understood that I had to go more into stories, show people a little bit here and there about me being real.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Honestly, it was funny and me being the first interview here and I'm, I'm super happy that people get to see that I'm a real person.

• 4:20Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Talk to me about, if someone listens to this episode today. What do you want them to walk away with? What do you want them to feel? How do you want them to change their life?

• 4:31Speaker 02

  To be honest, like, just like the name of the podcast, Purpose. I got into social media and everything that you see. I got into this space because I didn't want people to feel behind in life because of what they see. I feel like nowadays, we can get confused very easily. And the men's side, I was talking about this the other day. If you are not flaunting cash outside a Lamborghini and doing all these things that you see, you're behind. If you're a woman, if you don't have a Birkin bag and if you don't have, you know, a bouquet of roses that was out of a jet. Oh, my gosh, like, I don't have the right person. And that is not real life. I hated the romanticism that we're seeing in entrepreneurship, just because real life is not doing a Canva template and saying to people, do this course and you'll be financially free.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  And then people believe that, and that's not real life. We all have struggles. We all go through things in our lives, even if it's relationships or work. I want people, every time they listen to something, it's purpose. You're not behind, you're on track, you're not in a race with anyone. And that's why I love so much everything that you portray. And that's why I wanted to come here so much, because this is real life. And I feel like the type of content that we put out, everyone relates in a different way. I feel like we're all in the same boat, but we all have different destinations. At the end of the day, we all have problems. In this room, we all have a problem. And it's not rare, but it's just how we can get support from now online. Some beautiful things that I follow, a lot of the guests that have been here and have a voice.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  And I feel like we all have a voice and we all have a story. And if we can put it out there and people can relate in their own way, I think that's the purpose of life.

• 6:09Jay Shetty?

  You spoke about timelines there. You spoke about this idea of not being behind. How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else around us? When it feels like we're so overexposed, like you said, to the cars, the Birkin bag, the bank balance, the jet, the whatever it may be. Now, you know, before you'd compare yourself to the 20 people in your class at school. Now you can see what 20,000 people across the world are doing. How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else's?

• 6:38Speaker 02

  There's no race. They made us believe. That there's an invisible finish line. And success does not have a finish line. So we can't compare something that does not exist. I'm gonna tell you a little bit about me. When I graduated from high school, I did not go the traditional path, let's say. I saw my friends going to college, doing all this college life. And I knew that college wasn't for me, it wasn't my path. And at first, it was when social media just started popping off. And I remember posting. And I remember I saw co friends talking about me in group chats and stuff. And that's the thing that a lot of people are afraid to go out there because of the group. What will they say? And I always say, what will they say about what? It's your life. Let them talk for a little bit.

• 7:21Speaker 02

  Then when you make it, everyone knows you, everyone is your friend. So what I like to say is like, there is no race. There is no invisible finish line. You cannot compare to something that does not exist. When you follow your own path, when you follow your own passion, a lot of people will not understand. That is for sure. When you're doing something different, people will tell you you're crazy. People will tell you that's not the right path to go. And it's because they're talking about their insecurities, not about the reality of what you can portray. So when I started on social media, I remember myself putting out there like years ago, because I had an account, it was all about different things I wanna have now. It was about fashion and trips and stuff. And I remember all these people that I thought were my friends.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  And if someone's listening to this and thinks that their friends are gonna talk about you because you're online, they're gonna talk about you. And that's beautiful. And if you get four likes and all the people that you thought they were gonna support you and you thought they were gonna buy your product, you thought they were gonna put a like on your new page for your brand and they don't, that is showing you who your true circle is. That is showing you that you are doing something that they are not willing to do, which is expose yourself, which is putting yourself out there. And that is bravery to the max. And I think that today, seeing all these things about comparing ourselves online, about people that are younger than ourselves, because a lot of people are like, oh my goodness, he's 20 and he's already a millionaire. Well, that's perfectly fine. KFC started when he was 75 or 70 something.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  And then you see Vera Wang, she decided her first. Like, we've seen this. There's no timeline for success. So if you're patient, I was just telling to my team here. And I was talking to them about this. And I'm like, if you're not in a rush about posting, at first you're not gonna get likes. That's fine. If you're not in a rush, you're gonna get there. So there's no comparison about you being younger or being older. My parents are sixties and they're reinventing themselves. They're like, I want to do something different. They're sixties. I started young, when I was eighteen, doing political things with no experience at all. And now I'm about to turn twenty-nine and people are like, oh, my gosh, you're a baby. I'm like, yes, but during this ten years, I didn't compare myself to anyone else and just follow my path, follow my gut.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  And now I've got the chance to work with presidential campaigns, Fortune 500 CEOs. And it was my path. So if you still want to do it, get the advice from people that are online, but don't compare to it. Just get it and go out, put yourself out there.

• 9:45Jay Shetty?

  Any successful person I've interviewed or talked to, this idea of knowing how to deal with whatever one thinks of you is huge. It's it's one of the biggest things. I was sharing yesterday, last night, I was just mentioning to you that I was interviewing Emma Greed for her book launch here in London at the Hackney Empire. And she's from East London. I'm from London, so it was a really, really special feeling. And I shared this quote that I've shared many times, but every time I say it, it has such an impact on me and and everyone who hears it. It's from Charles Horton Cooley. He said it in eighteen ninety. And the fact he said it in eighteen ninety tells us everything. He said, the challenge today is, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 10:30Jay Shetty?

  And it's such a brilliant statement. Yeah, he's saying that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So we think if everyone thinks I'm smart, then I feel smart. But if everyone else thinks I'm weak, then I feel weak.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  You know what? I heard this and it's called the Marilyn Monroe effect. So she showed up herself, how she wanted to be portrayed. So she was an orphan and she didn't have the means to be who she was supposed to be. So I'm like, if you want to be Hollywood actress, if you want to do all these things and you think you don't have the things, Marilyn showed up as the person she wanted to be. And I love that because once you believe in yourself so much, you're gonna make it. Like I always say, you're gonna make it. I didn't have the contact. I didn't have the money to do what I think. And I just worked so hard and believed in myself, so hard in the talents and the capabilities that I had to, that it starts showing and that's when people start calling you. So it's just about believing in yourself so much.

• 11:25Jay Shetty?

  What are the top three traits you believe successful people have that people who don't make it don't have?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  They always ask me, what's the difference with the one percent? They keep going even when it stops being exciting. A lot of people start, they get a domain, they get the username. They get excited, do some Canva posts and then nobody likes. Nobody buys. The idea is not good. The idea is not the problem. It's that you're not patient enough. And then you have to be honest with yourself. And I think the honesty is that you have to tell yourself that it's not going to be easy. That is going to require a lot of effort. And once you're honest with that, you have to be on a track that your vision has to be so strong. But the path to getting there has to be flexible.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  So I feel like the one percent is always patient, is always honest. And the vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. Once you understand that, you're gonna understand that your timing is not the timing that you want. I took 10 years to get where I am. So when people see like, oh, she's an overnight success. Overnight success does exist after you work 10 years with nobody watching and nobody clapping for you. That's what shows. So be patient, be honest with yourself and be very stubborn with your vision. But the path to getting there, flexible. So that's the one percent difference. And once it stops being exciting, be so repetitive about the boring stuff that you're gonna make it.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  Because everyone thinks success is exciting. To get here, to do this podcast, the logistics behind it, this is the fun part when we get to talk. But in any brand, in any, any business, any relationship, the boring stuff is what makes everything stick together. In a relationship, I love talking about relationships because I feel like it's been so romanticized about things that a relationship is a thing that you work on every single day. In a business, you work on relationships with your team, with your employees, even with yourself. So it's a matter of just repeating the boring stuff over and over again and getting better at it. And listening to other people. Also, one more thing that we're talking about that is listening.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  I feel like once you think you know it all, you know nothing. That's the kind of thing. Once you believe you are better than anyone else. You're done. In my thing, in my company, what we do every Monday, I'm the last one to speak. Because if you speak first as a boss, as a CEO, then everyone's going to agree with you because they might be afraid not to give you the reason, yes, you're good, yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't want yes people around me. I want people to make me better. And that happens with relationships. You want your partner to make you better. Right now, I'm in a beautiful relationship that has made me a better entrepreneur, a better woman, a better, because they raise you up. It's not that you're comfortable, but they make you better. I have beautiful friends who want me to succeed.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  So it's a matter of, you know, I feel just listening, the power of listening, not knowing at all. That's how you learn until the last day of your life. If you listen, you learn and you get to know people better. About the people who love to talk more as well, because people talk too much, you know that they're the ones who, usually, not always, but owe the least and have the least to betray.

• 14:56Jay Shetty?

  You just reminded me of Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google. He had a principle that he called, don't listen to the hippo in the room.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Love that.

• 15:05Jay Shetty?

  And hippo stands for highest paid person's opinion.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Love that.

• 15:10Jay Shetty?

  And he said the same thing. He said, if I speak in a leadership meeting or the most successful or wealthy person in the room speaks, everyone around them will just agree. And so it's better to allow everyone else. One thing that you mentioned that really stands out to me, you said what differentiates the winners from the people who don't make it is that they keep working when it's not exciting. And I think that's where the follow your passion movement went wrong. Because people have this belief that if I follow my passion or if I do my purpose, everything's going to be easy. I'm going to wake up happy every day. I'm absolutely going to love everything I do. Not realizing that actually, if you follow your passion, there's going to be lots of days

• 15:51Jay Shetty?

  where you're doing things you don't want to do, where things are not exciting, where you're not winning, where things are not working out. And you're spot on that being able to work when things are uncomfortable is what differentiates the top 1%. And so how do you keep going? How do you keep trying and experimenting when things feel slow and they're not going your way? How do we stay patient to your first point?

• 16:18Speaker 02

  So I like giving this example. When you go to the gym the first time, everything hurts and you see nothing but just internal pain. And then if you keep going, you start seeing a little bit here and there of a muscle, you start seeing here and there a tighten. That's the same effect. Following your purpose and your passion is hard because you're not going the traditional way. Right? And we're not going the traditional way. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna make you question a lot of things about yourself if you're capable, if it's worth it. Why it's not working? Why am I doing wrong? Is the idea bad? It's not. But once you surpass that pain, that internal pain, you start seeing results and it's quiet. Success is quiet at first. It's not easy because you are not exposed.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  It's just you yourself in a room, maybe with a laptop and not a team or anything. And at first, all entrepreneurs know you are your own P A, your own personal assistant who's responding the emails. You are the marketing team. You are sales. You are everything. And that is fine. That's how we all started. But once you believe in the process of that, you're grieving something inside of you as well during that change. Because I feel like what success really is, if they ask me, what is success? Success is who you're becoming in the process. It's the resilience you're building. It is the path to the top.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  You're going to be losing weight because to get there, you're gonna lose friends. For sure, you're gonna lose friends because you're not the same person. You're gonna not be able to speak about the same things on a dinner table and that is fine. You're gonna maybe lose family members who didn't believe in you and that is fine as well. And you're gonna lose a part of yourself that you might not notice because in that silence of not noticing changes, you're changing and that is already success. So on the way to the top, I always say the top is not closed. People at the top will want to help you. I heard a friend of mine saying, a lot of people aren't helping me. And I'm like, you don't need in life, you don't need a lot of people. You just need one.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  If you have a one person who grabs you by the hand, tells you, I'm gonna, I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna introduce you to someone. That might be enough. You don't need an army of people to succeed. You need first to believe in yourself and then just one person to introduce you. So the top is not closed. The thing is that the top is cold. People were not expecting it to be that cold. Cause when you get to the top, it gets lonely sometimes. Because since you lost a lot of things during the process of getting there, it's a new you. And at the top, there are fewer voices. So that means that you have more time to think. As a CEO, you have, it's you deciding. You don't get to run to other people lots of times.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  So that's when your mind has to be very clear on listening, on who you are. And being so sure that any decision that you make, either it turns into good or bad. It's you at the top who got there, who've made all the decisions to get there and you're gonna be fine. So I feel like the same thing. Once you understand that there's gonna be silence, that you're gonna lose people, that you're gonna grieve and all part of yourself. You're ready and you're, the climb is slow and you lose people, but it's worth it.

• 19:39Jay Shetty?

  I always say to people, you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 19:44Jay Shetty?

  Because all of us have a visual of what the path looks like. And then reality next to it, which doesn't look like that at all. And then we start thinking, well, this can't be the right path because it doesn't look like what I visioned. It doesn't look like the idea I had in my mind and reality saying, no, no, no, this is what it's gonna look like. And we just keep debating, we keep fighting it. And then you don't take the step forward in reality because it doesn't look like the one in your dream.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  In my case, I started so different from where I am now.

• 20:14Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about that.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  So I graduated from high school, like I mentioned, and I wanted to be what it was. It was a blogger in that time because it was like an actual blog. And I started posting and at first it was like nothing and it was kind of tough because all of my friends were talking about me and ooh, she thinks she's an influencer. Now it's an influencer, it was, ooh, she thinks she's a blogger, you know, but. That's so cool when they underestimate you. I love being underestimated because you get to build quieter. You don't have pressure. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.

• 20:43Jay Shetty?

  Everyone thinks you're gonna fail anyway.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Yes, so why not do it?

• 20:45Jay Shetty?

  It's a good place to be.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  I love it. So, once I started posting these things later on today, they all are my friends. They all know me and they all want something. That's the path. When I started, I thought I was gonna be into fashion. But, once I started getting invited into Fashion Week, I understood the power of team launching and where it was going. So, I started calling all these brands that were inviting me to Fashion Week and I started doing their social media accounts. So, once I understood the power of social media, I went into my first presidential campaign. I managed my first presidential campaign. Then it led me to a second one, third, and I'm starting my fourth one. So, if you told me that I would end up in politics and then that led to cybersecurity, me developing softwares and cybersecurity, I would have never believed it. Or me being a political strategist, never would have thought in a second.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  So, if you told me that by age twenty-nine, twenty-nine, I would have been divorced, I would have never believed it. And that is fine. I remember when I got divorced, it was something like, ooh, she's so young and she got divorced. And I always love to talk about it because it's not a taboo thing. Like, I got the most amicable divorce ever. It was all good, but it's just things that happen. And life will just throw things at you that you're not prepared. But, the resilience comes through the hardest moments of your life. And in that moment, through all the things that I've been through and now I started into this path of social media of what I do, this is the fun thing. I get messages from all around the world about people, me changing their lives, which I would have never envisioned it, right?

• 22:12Speaker 02

  So, I always say to the people I coach and to people I talk to, do you? Don't do any... Everyone else is taken, right? I've heard that phrase, you know? Everyone's taken, just be you. And in my case, I'm young, but I've lived so much. Even my Spotify account says that I'm sixty-three years old. And I totally believe it. I'm an old soul.

• 22:33Jay Shetty?

  You mean, you mean when it does the Spotify rap?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  The Spotify rap?

• 22:35Jay Shetty?

  Tells you what you listen to?

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Exactly. I'm like, okay, yeah, this makes sense. Exactly, this makes sense. So, it's just a matter of like, do you do whatever? Dress, if you wanna dress in a certain way, dress in a certain way. You wanna go a different path that is not the typical one? Do it. And don't criticize others. But it's so important because that energy that you're portraying by criticizing or doing, it's not coming back to you in a goat way. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she said, oh, I heard this friend of ours had a baby and she thinks she's a mom influencer. I thought of like, that's so cool. But the way she said it, and it's those things that I hear all the time, she thinks she is, oh, she thinks she's a singer, she thinks she's a designer. She is a designer. She might not be at the top yet, but she's gonna get there.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  She's not the top influencer, but she's gonna get there in her own timing. So the way that we portray words is so important because if someone has blue hair and you are staring at her because she has blue hair, let her. It's just like the Mel Robbins thing, right? That's like, let them, let her. If they want to do something different that you are not engaged with,

• 23:40Speaker 02

  let them be. You do you. You focus on yourself so much that your energy, I've heard this over and over. Successful people cannot criticize others because they don't have the time for it. They're so focused on being better of, for example, I feel like us sitting here. I'm happy about your success. I'm happy about you having a production company. I'm truly happy. Like when I saw it, I called Paige, who's been so wonderful, like Paige, if you're listening to this, it was so good because I'm happy for it because I know what it takes to get to certain places. And when people read headlines and we put something out there, it's not to brag. I always say when people put a vacation there, it's not to brag. If people put something in their social media, sometimes it's not to brag. It's sometimes a way of saying, you know,

• 24:25Speaker 02

  the times they said no to a lot of things to get there. So many times they had to cry themselves to sleep to finally purchase the car they've been saving for. So a lot of times we read social media in the ways that we want to read. If it's with envy, we can twist envy in a way. If you're jealous about something, let it be for good. Let it be for if he can do it, I can do it.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  But not in a way of like, oh, he has it, then it's not for me or I cannot have it. There's room for everyone. The world can give so much. The doors are not closed. To just to you be happy with you and read the things differently.

• 25:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Happy for others. Truly, we are in a society that is so jealous, so confused because they don't have it. And I know there's tough times, but in the toughest times, it's when people can arise. They can become the person they want to become. I remember one time I had like twelve dollars to my name and I was looking at my bank account. And I could have.

• 25:21Jay Shetty?

  Where were you at that time?

• 25:22Speaker 02

  It was when I just started and I needed to do like my first website for my. It was when ecommerce was started booming. And I remember the YouTubers, that's one of the, one of the things they were like, you're gonna become a billionaire if you do this product. And Amazon FBA was called a thing or something like that. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna get into ecommerce. So I saw all these YouTubers, it was like twelve years ago. And I got into it, I paid this guy to do my website. And he basically got my card, I was naive, I gave him my card. And basically he took like all the money, didn't retrieve anything. And in that moment, I understood the power of anything alive, like trust. Like I trust in the guy, it failed, it was a lesson.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  And I opened my bank account. And I feel like we've all been there when you look at your bank account, you're like, oh, my gosh, the overdraft fee and all these things, right? And there was two options, either I stayed there and cried, or I started to work. That's how it got into tech. I learned how to code my own website because I didn't have money to pay someone to do my website. And I realized later on how I got into tech was by a moment of failure. Which I love to say failure does not exist, it's just data, it's just giving you more information. And in those moments where you're like, what am I gonna do with my life? And a lot of things, I feel like people right now and and the world are struggling. With financial situations like ever before.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  And in those moments, I want you to know that I feel like all successful people have been there.

• 26:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Like, i- it's not easy to get to where you want to get. And on my way here, I remember that a lot of people think they see the car or they see the bag with the watch and they, they want that. And like, it's fine, you, you can get there. But real success is not assets. Real success is who you become in the process. And a real success, once you get there, is who you share it with.

• 27:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  Because once you get there, it's like, who I want to share the news? Before I came here, I called my partner. I'm like, I'm so excited. He was like, oh, you, you, you look so beautiful. Congratulations. And like, they're happy for me. I caught my friend and she's like, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited for you. I brought here my team. They're so excited for me. It's who you share it with. And I always say, in friendship, if there's a slight chance of envy or jealousy, the, the friendship is gone because they are competing with you. And the second they're competing with you, it's broken. People who are around you have to be happy about your success because they know their timing is coming. They're following their own timeline and they're happy for you.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  And that's so important, who you share success with.

• 28:13Jay Shetty?

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• 28:56Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn.

• 29:36Jay Shetty?

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• 30:20Jay Shetty?

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• 30:53Jay Shetty?

  I'm so glad you brought up these more underlying things when it comes to success, especially when you talk about not criticizing others, because I feel like as soon as we hear about someone doing something... And if we're aware of it and they're doing it a little bit better than us, everyone gets really, really critical. And we're being critical because we're being competitive. We don't even agree with what we're saying. We're just saying it because, oh, it's uncomfortable to hear that someone's doing it better than me, that someone's getting it right compared to me. And I think what that does is it creates a culture of criticism in our mind where now, I think about this all the time. My friends who are doing well on social media will never laugh at someone else on social media.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:33Jay Shetty?

  They'll only send me the good stuff that other people are doing. They'll say, hey, did you see this update? Did you see what this person just launched? Did you see what this person invested in? And all of my friends who are doing badly on social media will always send me a video of someone to laugh at them. They'll be like, oh, did you see? Oh, look at it, let's laugh at this. And it's fascinating to me how you get lost in that world and you feel better about yourself. So what I've found is if you're doing well, you feel better when other people are doing better because it shows you there's more opportunity.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 32:01Jay Shetty?

  But when you're doing badly, you feel happier when other people are doing worse because that makes you feel like a bit of an ego boost. And so I think it's such a good tell as to whether you're focused on yourself or whether you're not because of the critical piece. The other thing that you mentioned that really stood out to me is this idea of sharing it with people. Earlier, you talked about the idea of being lonely at the top. And I think people are also lonely at the top because they don't know how to build the friendships that you're talking about. Because you can't control whether your friend's envious of you or not. You, you can't control that. How do you maintain good relationships on your way up? So that you don't get to the top and then go, oh, I want to make friends now. Because once you're at the top, you don't know why someone wants to be friends with you.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 32:45Jay Shetty?

  So how do you maintain great friendships on the way up without knowing if someone's envious of you or not?

• 32:51Speaker 02

  I think that you change your circle. It's going to happen because the people you're doing business with usually end up being your friends. And the old circle just stays where they are. And not because it's wrong, but because their lives are different. And if you're doing something non-conventional, you're hanging out with non-conventional people, with minds that don't see the impossible, right? So I think you just change a circle. And that happens in life. Sometimes your group chat went silent. Someone had a baby, someone got married, someone went abroad, and the group goes silent. And then that's just life. The other day I was at a dinner and I heard them talking badly about you. And the response was like, that doesn't matter. What matters to me is why they felt comfortable doing in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. So that's how you know.

• 33:35Jay Shetty?

  Say that again, that's good.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  If someone's talking about you and they come to you, a friend comes to you and says, I was at a dinner and they were talking badly about you. The thing is not why they were talking about me badly. It's because why they were so comfortable talking about me in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. Right?

• 33:55Jay Shetty?

  So good.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  So I love that because if it's a true friend, they're not gonna dare to talk badly about you. So that's the thing. I think circles changes. I feel like in my life, my circles have changed multiple times. And that's just life.

• 34:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  That's just the circle of life. And if you're married, sometimes your partner's friends are gonna be your friends. If you go divorced, maybe it splits. If you go to college, it's your college friends for that time. Then you depart from that city and then you have a new city and you become new friends. So I was talking about being an immigrant as well and following your dreams. Because I feel like in a way, everyone that pursues something usually leaves home. And when you get there, you're praying that the lease you had is good enough. And if you're reading a yogurt flavor that you know the brand is good, and then you make your first set of friends and they are started to show you the city and then they become your person in that city. And then you're pursuing a dream.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  So it's just like, I feel like it changes. Wherever you go, whoever you want. Sometimes it's who can take you there.

• 34:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Right? And you're hanging with them because you see that the possibilities. So it's just a matter of like life. I feel like it's just like the circle of life.

• 35:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think that's fair. I I feel really fortunate that I've got friends who have been friends with for probably about twenty, twenty five years who's still in my life. And you're spot on. The reason that we can all still be friends is because I hopefully am not an arrogant douche and

• 35:25Speaker 02

  Oh, you're not.

• 35:26Jay Shetty?

  And they're extremely and they're extremely non envious. And I think those two things work really, really well together when exactly to your point earlier that I have a great group of friends who aren't envious and not competitive and not, you know, trying to take me down. And then on the other side, you're absolutely right. Your circle changes and you meet new people that understand your new life. And I think that's what it is. I think people think when your circle changes, it makes it feel like, oh, because you're doing better, you want to be around people that are doing better. It's actually not that. It's actually people understanding you at different stages of your life, who have seen you in different phases, who understand the pain you go through. So I have lots of friends in my industry. The best thing is we can all relate to each other when we're going through the same things.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 36:10Jay Shetty?

  And my friends from back home, they've seen the full picture of me. And so I love that too, because they know me deeper than anyone else on the planet, because they've seen me from day one.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 36:21Jay Shetty?

  So that idea that your friends change and your circle changes is valuable at the same time as I'd encourage people to be like, you don't have to leave everyone behind.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:31Jay Shetty?

  And and you can open up the door for other people as well.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Hundred percent. There was this beautiful story. I met one of the survivors of the Andes crash. And they were a set of a group of friends who were leaving for a rugby tournament. And the plane crashes. And I think if someone's seen the show on the movie on Alpha, this is great. I invite them to watch it. But I I was talking to one of the survivors and he said something beautiful that takes me out of like bad days because I'm like, you're a group of friends who crashed in the snow. A lot of them died there. And you stayed there for seventy two days stranded in snow. And I'm like, how did you pull through? And he was like, all of us friends was important to see one good thing every day. And he said something beautiful. I'm like, are you saying this because it sounds good? And he's like, no.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Because when you're in the snow and there's no sound and you just see plain white. You find beauty in things that you didn't understand before. He said, while they were listening, like at the rain or the snow falling, they're like, God is present. And if God made all of this, that means he's here with us. And I find it beautiful. I'm truly believer in God. And I feel like once you leave everything to him, everything starts becoming beautiful. And at that point, when he told me that in seventy-two days stranded in the snow, they saw one beautiful thing. Seventy-two days. Seventy-two days in the cold with no food, like it was bad. But then I asked him something. I'm like, how did you know you're going to survive?

• 37:59Speaker 02

  And he said this, because no one told us it was impossible. And that is something that you can take to your everyday life. You want to embark into a new chapter of your life. And they tell you it's impossible. The market saturated, by the way, the market saturated was invented by someone with low creativity. To be honest. So true. But it's just you believe in yourself because usually people put their own fears into our own ideas and our own dreams. So that's why we believe in them and we think we cannot make it. So when he said that, I truly believe in it so much because he said, what if we would have been stranded with a lot of people around it? The odds of everyone saying, oh, they're not gonna make it. Oh, what are the conditions? Seventy-two days in the cold? They're not gonna make it. It would have been higher, right?

• 38:40Speaker 02

  So he said, nobody told us that it was impossible and seen one good thing in your life. And I truly believe in that. I believe in that on the worst days that I have, I find one good thing. And once you find that one good thing, you push through. You wake up one more day, be like, one more day to fix any problem that I have. One more day to try again. One more day to become the person I want to become. One more day, one day at a time. That's why I don't believe in five-year plans. And five-year plans with the advance of technology, everything, that doesn't exist. You know how I hire people? It's the funniest thing. I love resumes. That's all good. Love that. But I usually take them to a smoothie ride. I take them with me to a smoothie. And I love how they treat people.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  I see how they treat the waiter or the person at the cashier. I see decisiveness on ordering, if they're gonna take to like forever or you know. And then while we're sitting in a casual environment, I ask questions about life, right? And when you get to know the person's gonna be part of your team, being good, being a good person, kind heart, honest and has values, the resume will follow. But if you don't have that as a person, the rest doesn't matter. You can have Ivy League people in your team, that doesn't mean anything. But they're kind people. I hired the other day, so it was impressive. I was doing this speech in Dubai and then this guy had come from India. And he didn't know how to speak English.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  So he wrote on a piece of paper, something, and he showed it to me. Once they were doing a meet and greet and it was basically him saying that he was in tech and that he had saved the last amount of money and asked his mom to come to Dubai to meet me and had a chance to work at my company. And I thought that was so brave because he didn't have the language. He had spent the last cent to come and see me and he was taking a chance. And that's what I love, the three Cs of life, challenges, choices and change. Challenges, we all have them and life will throw at us every single day. But then you have the chance to make a choice. And once you have that, this guy, I hired him on the spot, he showed me what and all.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  I thought it was so brave, what he had done. So when I see people that have everything and oh, and he had Tourette's syndrome. So when he started talking to me, he was like having a situation and showing with a piece of paper trembling. And I thought was so brave because the meaning of being brave is not that you're fearless. Is that even though you have fear, you're gonna go for it. And that moment, he was so brave and I just gave him a hug and I'm like, come, come Monday to my office, I'll pay the hotels, don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. His mom just passed away now and he was a big chance that he was in my team. So it's just a matter of like people, if you have air in your lungs.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  If you get the chance to wake up one more day, you can do it. You can totally do it. I believe in that so much. I have such amazing people. I didn't get here alone. Like, nobody gets there alone. You have people that have helped you. When this guy told me that he has survived in this situation, seen good thing and his friendships. Oh, and one more thing he told me, he said that between all of them, they couldn't complain. And I thought it was so beautiful because in your everyday, we complain so much about dumb things. That if you use that energy to complain, you're going another way. It's the wrong way to go. And he said that during the snow, it was a no complaining, loving each other, seeing one good thing. And knowing that nobody told him that it was impossible to survive. So in your everyday,

• 42:24Speaker 02

  I feel like what he said is like, nobody can tell you, you're not capable of doing something. See one beautiful thing every single day and do not complain.

• 42:33Jay Shetty?

  That's a great story. That's a, that's a great experience. You said we can watch the, is it a movie or a doc?

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a movie. It's called The Society of Snow.

• 42:40Jay Shetty?

  Oh.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  It's on Netflix. It's fantastic. The scenes are so.

• 42:44Jay Shetty?

  It's true, obviously.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  True story. So once you see that, oh my gosh, you see like, how, how did they actually survive? But that's the thing. I feel like those, those type of situations when people go through that. It was just like the Hudson River crash. And I heard this beautiful story. A pilot said, one engine is out, the other one is out as well. This guy goes, I realized in that moment when the plane was crashing, that I haven't loved my wife enough, that I didn't have spent time with my friends, all the things that you are waiting to do someday.

• 43:13Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Right? And that's why we, we have our planes crashing every single day. Sometimes we feel like we're down and under. But that's the moment of wake up call. That's the moment when you take a deep breath. I, I like myself when I'm feeling down, doing the 10 second rule and it's just counting myself 10, nine, eight, even like rockets, they count backwards because they're gonna go up. So I feel myself like that, even when I don't feel like I count myself 10, nine, eight, seven. And once I'm like, one, I'm up and I'm doing. So it's little rules here and that I place myself and nobody taught me. Another thing I like to call is the rule of nines. So people who like productivity tips, I put like a tic tac board and it's like nine squares. And if you just put nine squares throughout your day or throughout your week and you cross them, the mind loves completion.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  So if you cross it out physically, I love tech, but I like some things physically.

• 43:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I know.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  To cross it out and post it notes and just cross it out, your brain loves completion and you feel like you're advancing more. Then if you think that your brain can hold everything together. It can, but once you feel completion, it's fantastic. So certain things that I've learned, it's like when, when you're in school and they put a happy, a happy face sticker and you're like yay and you're happy. When we're adults, we don't have that. So we have to give that to ourselves and we have to give the grace of us trying. Nobody gave us the blueprint of life. I think that people made us believe that we have another day, that we have more time, time to love, time to forgive, more time to try that thing that we wanna start. But life, life is moments and we think that we own those moments, but we don't.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  And that's why we have to make the most of it. And at the end of the day, when, when our time comes, I don't want to be able to say I wish I had. Because when the time comes, I want to say, I tried, I loved, I did it my way. And the invisible footprint that you're leaving in someone else's life, that's what matters. I heard the other day that when you die, men especially, get their first set of roses or a bouquet of flowers. And that was beautiful in a way, because why do we say all those things when people die? Why do we hand a set of flowers when we can do it when we're alive? They said that two times that people are gathered and you're alive, all the important people

• 45:28Speaker 02

  and you're alive are either at your wedding or at your funeral. Right? And I thought that is sad in a way, because real life, real life is trying. Real life is failing. I don't believe in failure, it's just data, but let's call it failure. I believe in the power that we have as humans to grab each other's hands and be better. Right now, in this time of our lives, we see more division than ever. And we see division because we don't understand. And when we don't understand something, it's easier to criticize, it's easier to hate. And nowadays, with the media, with the world and what's going on, I believe in unity. I believe that we're separated by things that should never be separated.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  And I love that if we can get the message of just unity, that we're all humans. Under the skin, we are all bones, we are the same. And I believe as humans, we can give each other the hand of love and the power of sincerity and the power of, you know what, I can help you. And if you need someone, I will call you and check in on your friends. There's so much loneliness, it's a new epidemic, it's a new pandemic, loneliness. And especially with economic situation as well as like, people are not happy and able to have kids and now I work in the political space as well. And when you ask them, oh, we're not having babies. It's not because they don't want to, because maybe, you know, they can't afford. People who are lonely because they got divorced or then depression.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  And I do believe that now, especially now, we can come together as humans, not as political parties, not as race, not as nations, but as humans. The other day, I was sitting at a table where there were Christians, where there were Jews, where there were each one of literally Arabs, Muslims, it was, it was beautiful. And I told them that you realize there's one of each religion.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  And we can all talk. Because we can all listen to each other. And then, it's beautiful, but now that I've been moving around in Ubers. The other day, my Uber driver asked me about my religion. He was Muslim. And I asked him about his. And as soon as I got off the Uber, he said, Inshallah, ma'am, I hope your day is beautiful. And I thought, it was beautiful, he was praying in his culture and his, and it's beautiful. And I told him, God bless you. So the moment that we understand each other as humans, it's not as political parties, not as anything else that the media can portray and we just see each other as humans means. I think that the moment that we're sitting in the table, it's a table that should be everywhere and around the world.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  It's because you listen, because you understand. So the moment you start listening to more people, you understand more. And getting your own opinion.

• 48:24Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favourite podcast. Choose a cellar or North East Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come.

• 49:05Jay Shetty?

  Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat and build muscle, with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients.

• 49:50Jay Shetty?

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• 50:10Jay Shetty?

  It's so interesting now because I feel like we're listening to more people than ever before, but we're not hearing them.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 50:17Jay Shetty?

  Right, we're not actually hearing them because there's so much noise. And today, we have access to more cultures, more countries, more opinions than ever before. But no one's actually hearing anyone anymore. Because you're just filtering it through your own lens.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Because you feel that your opinion is so set in stone that it becomes your identity.

• 50:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. It's because we'd rather be right than have peace.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 50:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Hundred percent. That's why when you listen to someone truly, something what you just said is that I feel like more and more today with with politics all around the world is that you feel that's your identity. And that's not your identity. And once you understand more about situations and we have more people talking about free press, let's say, more more information, different ways that you can get your information. You can understand, but any political party cannot be your identity.

• 51:08Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Your identity is something completely different. It's who you are on your everyday, who you're becoming for a better person. And the other day I found this beautiful story that I told. That there are three genies and they decided where to hide happiness from humans. And the one genie goes, you know what? Let's hide it at the bottom of the ocean. And the other goes, you know what? No. They're gonna build a submarine. They're gonna find it. Yeah, you're right. The other one says, let's put it at the top of the mountain. He's no, you're gonna learn and put equipment. They're gonna climb and find it. And the last genie says, why don't we hide it inside them? They were never gonna dare to find it there. And I thought it's so funny because it's true. Because we're seeking happiness externally. And we've been taught that because since we're little, if it's not an applause,

• 51:51Speaker 02

  it's not valid. When people say, let's take a picture and post it because if not, it didn't happen.

• 51:56Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  You know what I love? When I take a picture that I'm never gonna post because it made me happy.

• 52:01Jay Shetty?

  It's the best. That's the best.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  It's the moment that you understand it was for you. The other day, my my partner took a picture of me and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I look horrible. He's like, no, to me, you look beautiful. No, and I want to remember this moment. And it's about moments. It's not about externally. So when this story about the genies just remind me of it's true. Happiness is inside you. The purpose is inside you. It never left. You just let it rot in based on someone else's opinions and because they didn't clap for you. So the purpose never left. The other day, someone told me I've fell out of my purpose. I lost my purpose. I'm like, no, no. Your purpose is inside you. It never left you. You just let outside opinion dictate your decisions.

• 52:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's when you feel disconnected from yourself. You stop listening to yourself. That. You get distracted by other people's opinion is when you think you've lost your purpose.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 52:51Jay Shetty?

  Coral, I wanted to switch into a bit of entrepreneurship and I want to do this segment with you called this or that.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Okay, I love it.

• 52:57Jay Shetty?

  And so I'm going to ask you this or that and you're going to tell me which one and then why.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 53:01Jay Shetty?

  And we're going to go through quite a few. So the first one is, do you believe in discipline or motivation?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  Oh, discipline, hundred percent. Motivation fades. Motivation fades when everyone's like, I'm so motivated. That happens a lot. I was super motivated in January to start gym, went twice, motivation died, I'm out, right? When people say I'm motivated to start a new diet, but I'm going to start on Monday. Why Monday? Why can't you just start Thursday? Because as humans, we just decided that Monday was it or January was it? But now, oh, what is it? Oh, we're halfway through our week and it's almost June. So that means we're halfway through the year and that means, you know what? I'm going to start next year. We're too late. No, motivation fades. Discipline, discipline makes you wake up the days you don't want to. Discipline makes you want on a rainy day. Discipline means you're up until 5 a.m. and you haven't slept and you haven't had any food.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  And you're still going because you have to finish the task. Discipline, a hundred percent. Olympic athletes, you know, and you've probably talked to so many and it's discipline.

• 53:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  They don't, they don't want to go and swim on minus two degrees and train for the Olympics. It's, and it's going to hurt. And that's the same thing with entrepreneurship. It's gonna hurt. It's not the same physical pain as an athlete, but it's a different kind of pain. When you're an entrepreneur, not going to pay yourself at first a salary. You're going to pay your team first. Or you're going to have noodles and, and pasta for the next year because you can't afford a lot of things. It's a different kind of pain, but it's discipline. And if you stick to it, it's, it's just like when people pose the first time they open an Instagram account. They post once, they post twice, like it's not working. I'm like, discipline, discipline. You're going to get there. You're going to learn. My first video sucked. My first video's got like 50 likes.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  No, no. My first video's got my mom, my dad likes and probably someone else's account that I followed that day, it was a bot, right? But then it just grows and you learn from that. It's not immediate, so.

• 54:54Jay Shetty?

  Discipline, okay? Discipline over motivation? Ideas or execution?

• 54:59Speaker 02

  I feel like both, because you have to have a strong idea of what you want to do and not change ten thousand times the idea, because sometimes the idea is good, but you have to execute it and change sometimes a lot of things for that idea to work, because sometimes we think we know the industry we're getting to, but we actually don't until we're there. And we have to do a lot of different things, like the path to get there. It's visual and strong. So when people tell me that idea is bad, it's not bad. You just haven't tried one thing for a long time to see if it's working. So you try five different variables and you don't know which one's working. And you think like, hmm, it's not working. No, just one thing at a time. I feel like at the same time, a lot of people have great ideas, but they just don't stick to it for a long.

• 55:45Jay Shetty?

  That's what I'm, I'm an execution over ideas person. I feel like I've seen the worst ideas become really successful because someone executed really well on it.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  You see liquid death, right?

• 55:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Water, like water, making it, making water bad.

• 55:57Jay Shetty?

  It's just water.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  Brilliant, just how they do it. The market saturated that we just talked about, it is not saturated.

• 56:03Jay Shetty?

  Totally, yeah. I mean, I was told podcasting was saturated seven years ago when there were seven hundred thousand podcasts. Today, there's two and a half million podcasts.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 56:13Jay Shetty?

  So I fully agree with you. Last one of these, intuition or data?

• 56:17Speaker 02

  So I feel like intuition is data.

• 56:20Jay Shetty?

  Can you talk to me about it?

• 56:21Speaker 02

  Intuition, what is the actual meaning of intuition? And for me, intuition is just a lot of things that you've lived, which is data, which is giving you a sense that we don't know how to explain. Did you know that when you're a baby, the first organ that is born is your stomach? So when you feel intuition and say, I feel it, I feel it, is because technically you started there. So intuition for me is just data that you've lived in order for not to make a mistake or in order to make a good decision. So in my case, a lot of the times, when I started in my career, being a woman, young, at eighteen, managed a political campaign on social media when social media wasn't a thing. It was kind of like, who is she? She's young, she doesn't have a degree, she didn't have the thing, right?

• 57:07Speaker 02

  But then, as I started moving, I work with soccer, which is fully male dominated. Tech is a space that has now more and more women, but when I started, it was me. Well, until now, I feel like I work with a hundred percent men on my meetings, on everything. And it's just a matter of like getting into an industry where you have to believe in yourself so much that you're not drawn apart. So when people give me excuses about I'm too young, or I'm this and that or that, there's no excuse anymore. The path and the information has now been open to so much, to so many people. I feel before, if it was said on a book, it was said on stone.

• 57:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  Google came. If Google said it, it must have been right. Then Alexa came. If Alexa said it, beautiful. If Siri came, it must have been true. And now we have ChatGPT. If ChatGPT said, the information has been out there all along. I started coding when there was no ChatGPT to help me to code. Had to go and read, actually read and go to articles and blogs and stuff online to try to understand. So if you really want it nowadays, you can do it, like anything, I don't know. So it's just intuition for me is a must because it's just backed and by the data that you've lived.

• 58:17Jay Shetty?

  Because you do so much of this in your professional life, you're guiding people in their presidential campaigns, you're guiding Fortune 500 CEOs when it comes to their social media strategy, their digital strategy. If someone right now wants to start building a social media following, what are the first three things that they should do?

• 58:36Speaker 02

  First thing is go and search your competitors. You know what I love to do? I love to go to Google and find not the five stars, but the three stars, because the three stars are giving you a path of where it was almost good, but not terrible. And that's your gap. So go to Google, search your competitors, go to Instagram. And on Instagram, I would go even to your page when I started. And I wanted to see what people liked. It's not gonna be the same from you and me because I'm gonna do something totally different. So people are like, oh, she's copying or you're copying. No, nobody's copying anything because warm water is already there. It's been created, right? But go to your competitors. The first time I started my first account on e-commerce, I would go to Google, I would see the three star reviews.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  And then I would go to all the people that I commented, I would go and find them on social media. Or go to their social media page and literally invite them to go see my page. So when people are like, oh, it's not working. Nobody's following me. I'm like, but have you done the work? It's not easy at first, especially if you're a sole entrepreneur. So first, definitely go and stalk.

• 59:39Jay Shetty?

  Step one, yeah.

• 59:41Speaker 02

  Your algorithm is showing you about your same thing over and over again. So you're saturated. That's the way to go. So you, not intentionally, but intentionally, your subconscious tries to copy that. And you turn out to be something that you're not because you're copying that, right? The biggest ideas that I've gotten for other people's brands or strategies I've done have come. If I'm looking into soap, I would go to nail polish because I would get ideas from there and then we were applied here. So trying to make your algorithm show you something else that's not in your industry because you're saturated with that, that you think that's the path to go. And if that's not the path to go, it's done. Force your algorithm to show you different things. And third, be patient because on social media today, there's no saturation. I started eight months ago and built a huge platform.

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  It's so funny because it's like the Mandela effect. Have people talk to me and say, I've been following you for years and I've been eight months on social media, right? So it's just the effect that they saw me so many times that they think they've seen me there. But that's the thing, my paths, it can be different from you. And if you're patient and you don't have a rush and you truly believe in yourself and your idea, you're going to get there. So it's just a lot of patience. Anything in life is patience. Nothing happens in the blink of an eye. It's like just getting your body toned. Like if you want to go on YouTube and put how to get abs in seven days and there are a lot of those videos, you're not going to get them, right? The muscle builds and the muscle of resilience in business, it's hard, it's tough, but you build a muscle. You build resilience, you build character.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  And for me, character is something so important because today we hear a lot of people talking about success. But it would truly a success is who you are as a person, who you're living with and the values that you're leaving people with. And in your business, if you're a business owner, always ABCs. The ABCs is always be communicating. And I love that because if you are communicating with your team, if you're communicating in love, nothing can go wrong. I feel like one of the most important things as humans is the lack of communication. Because when there's lack of communication, bad things happen everywhere. It doesn't matter what happens, it's just, it just goes bad. I had one time, one of my team had a bad communication with a business that we were doing. And instead of putting a zero, they added another zero and sent the wire. So I was like, oh, that's beautiful. Okay, what we're gonna do about it?

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  It was a lack of communication between teams. So it's just a matter of like communicating and love, the same thing. Once communication ends, love ends. That's something I like to talk about is becoming entrepreneurs who you're with romantically. It's very important.

• 1:02:10Jay Shetty?

  Interesting, tell me about that.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Who you have next to you can definitely define you. Because I've seen a lot of very talented people that can't go past that because of the person who have next to it. Because they make them feel stuck. If you are a woman getting into business, I felt like you have to have someone that is not afraid of you being more than them, maybe. Because there's certain stigmas in this life, that the man was the one that provided, man was. And now we see more and more entrepreneurs, more women who are super powerful by themselves. Right now, I have like the most beautiful relationship, right? And I see the difference from others because he is happy by my success. He is happy to, you know, help me in the ways that he can to make me succeed, right? I have close friends who have partners who don't make it easy for them.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  I feel like when you're an entrepreneur, you're marrying the vision. You're not marrying the person. You are marrying late nights. You're marrying an idea that the other person cannot see but has to trust you. And when you understand that, everything changes. Because when you marry an entrepreneur, you're marrying uncertainty, you're marrying late nights. You're marrying those things that having a nine to five might not give you because that's more stability, right? But an entrepreneur, ooh, marrying entrepreneur is just marrying an idea that might change 10 times and you have to be good with it. It might mean that they're gonna miss birthdays.

• 1:03:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Speaker 02

  It might mean that they're in their phone all the time. It might mean that, you know, you are on a dinner and you have to leave to take the call. And you have to be okay with that because you're marrying that person or you're dating that person.

• 1:03:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  So I feel like who you are with in this lifetime can either make or break you. And it's just not about being comfortable with the idea because sometimes like I'm comfortable with them, so I'm staying. Life is not meant to be comfortable. Life is meant to be uncomfortable. I never wanna be comfortable. The other day, they asked me in an interview and they said, but why do you want more? I don't want more because it comes to monetary, because I want more money. It's because I know that I'm not finished being the woman I want to become. And when you're becoming, that means you're uncomfortable. And for example, you right now entering a new space, it's uncomfortable at times because it's more work and it's more things and you have a beautiful life.

• 1:04:26Jay Shetty?

  That's why I take it on.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  That's why you take it on. But I can never envision myself being so comfortable that I'm on a Tuesday night and I'm like, okay. No, no, I want more because life is meant to be lived to the fullest, meant to be used so much that, you know, I wake up every day, I came here and I was so excited about this because, you know what, once you start living, I feel like in our industry, and you get to enjoy all these cool places and dinners and events. I remember the first time I got invited to the American Music Awards after party and it was a Chainsmokers after party. And I did not know anyone at the industry. And my friend, Jason Richmond, he was at the time the Vice President of Paramount Pictures.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  And I met him there and we were sitting at this like fireplace and he goes like, oh, it's so cold. And he goes, and I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, I'm an influencer. I'm a blogger. He's like, oh, that's so cool. Can you come to my office to Paramount? I'm interested in what we can do together. You know, like I was uncomfortable at that point because they were all celebrities. I remember like One Direction was there, like Hailey Seinfeld, like it was so many people that I did not feel comfortable. I'm like, what can I talk to these people about? Like, who am I? The imposter syndrome. And imposter syndrome at the end of the day is just, you're getting to a new level that you're not familiar with. It's like getting to an airport where you already know the gate. You already know where you're gonna have lunch or you know all these things and you go to the airport and you feel ease.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  But when you're landing to a new airport, you do not know, you're kind of like, oh, wait, wait, where is the gate? That's kind of what imposter syndrome.

• 1:05:57Jay Shetty?

  That's a great analogy. I like that.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  It feels like is just another place. So at that time, I remember I was sitting down at this after party and I started talking to this guy who I did not know who he was. So I go like, oh, and what do you do? And he's like, I sing. Like, oh, that's so cool. And then my friend goes like, oh, you're talking to Post Malone. I'm like, ooh, I did not know how he looks like, you know? And it's just this really cool thing is when I met Daddy Yankee as well. And I'm like, okay, where's, where's the guy? He's like, that's the guy. I'm like, oh, that's the guy, you know? So it's just moments that you're uncomfortable and you have to be yourself and you have to be open up to possibilities of what life can bring to you. And at this point, I remember in my career, I got to meet so amazing and talented people. And a lot of times you just see they're humans.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  When, when you see

• 1:06:44Jay Shetty?

  Every single person.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  Social media and you see a number is just a number. I'm a human, you're a human, everyone in this room, we're just normal people. We all have problems. The only thing that we have different is that we dare to believe in ourselves so much that people believed in us and gave us a follow. I wouldn't be here sitting if people weren't following me. Uh, you wouldn't be sitting giving me the interview. People didn't believe in you. So it was just a matter of like, don't believe in the imposter syndrome. Don't believe it. It's not real. It's just believe in the thing that I just said. Somewhere you've not been yet, which I love the word yet. You're not successful yet. You are not there yet. It's just yet. And I have been doing this movement. I've been going around. We, we brought it to so many countries. It's a hundred and twenty-two countries we brought it to.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  And it's the I still build movement. And I'm launching my book next year, so I'm gonna be definitely launching it with you. But it's the I still build movement is that we're all builders. In either way or not, we are building something. And I, I love to do this. Every time I go somewhere and to a different country, I love to do this part where I put on the screen and I'm like, when fear takes over me and it tells you I'm not enough, what do you say? And people go around and say, I still built. When, and I still doing all these things and people go like, I still built. And you just start believing, I'm a builder. You're a builder. We're all builders. We're building different lives. Someone is becoming a mother full time. That's beautiful. You're building a home. You're building an idea from scratch that doesn't exist. You're a builder.

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  You're building a life alongside someone that you're gonna spend the rest of your life. You're a builder. You're building an idea that might exist and you want to tweak it a little bit. That's awesome. You're a builder. And in this stage of life, we just see that we're, like I said, in the same boat in different destinations. We all have problems. We all have crises in life. And I understood the power of time with this because my dad, I'm an only child. My parents have been, they are my life. They are my greatest support. But you know what? It's something that I understood that they always believed in me. I always saw them as builders because they build their businesses from scratch. I always knew what a real entrepreneurship entrepreneur looks like because when I was young, I would go to the office on a Saturday because they

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  were building, right? And my grandma always told me something is, you can do it. And I remember this, you can do it because there was like a little thing on my bed and she would hold my hand and she would let go and she's like, you can cross, you can do it. And it's the same thing. The most beautiful thing that you can do in life is believing yourself so much of what you're building. It doesn't matter what it is, but it's just believing in what you're building. And in this moment of, you can do it. Sometimes I do what is called the power pose. And the power pose, I heard this article about this neurosurgeon who stood up, he was gonna do operate in this little girl's brain. She was three years old. And as a neurosurgeon, he said that if he had had like a tiny mistake, the girl would basically be brain dead. So he said that it was like a sixteen, seventeen

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  hour surgery. And he would go in front of a mirror before it and he did the power pose, right? And after I heard that, I always do the power pose. So what is the power pose? You stand in front of a mirror, you put your arms like Superman and you lock yourself, you see yourself.

• 1:09:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:54Speaker 02

  And you see who you really are. You're like, you know what? Let's do this. Bring it. They tell me I can't. Watch me. You think I cannot do it? Watch me. And I love that because once you understand the power that is inside you, nothing can break you.

• 1:10:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  And seeing yourself in the mirror is something that I always ask, how many times you talk to yourself? Like, no, I talk to myself. And I'm like, no, you are thinking, you're having thoughts. And there was a Harvard study that said that seventy-eight percent of thoughts are negative on a daily basis. So when I heard that, I'm like, you're not talking to yourself. You are listening to your thoughts in mute. But what if I told you that you stand in front of a mirror and you said, you know what, Coral? I'm gonna have a beautiful day. You're so powerful. You're so capable. You're breathing. You get one more chance and you put yourself in power pose and you see yourself. You see the power inside you. No one that you admire has something different than you.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  They just believe in theirself so much that once you stand in front of the mirror and you do the talk to yourself and you do this, oh, I become so beautiful. Oh, I love it.

• 1:11:05Jay Shetty?

  I mean, I can definitely say that before I go out on stage, there's rarely a mirror there because I'm backstage, but whenever I go on before stage, if I'm in power pose, it is so much more easier to go out there and own the stage.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:18Jay Shetty?

  Than it is when you're like just sitting there thinking about stuff, whatever it may be. And I love the distinction you made between the thoughts and the mind. That's not talking to yourself, that's just hearing.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:28Jay Shetty?

  And the big one that I took away there, my favorite type of people are over communicators.

• 1:11:42Jay Shetty?

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• 1:12:46Jay Shetty?

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• 1:14:00Jay Shetty?

  This is how I think about a relationship. You're in one place, your partner's in another place, and you're driving to the same party tonight. And your partner leaves a bit earlier than you. You leave a bit later, but you call them up and say, "Hey, I'm running a bit late. Can you wait for me outside?" And your partner says, "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. I'll wait for you outside. That's cool. What time are you gonna get there?" You're like, "I think I'm gonna get there 20 minutes after you get there." They go, "Great, fine. Come at 20 minutes after." They're waiting there. You're on the way. You get stuck in a bit of traffic. You go, "Hey, look, I'm still 10 minutes behind. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Why don't you go inside?" Your partner says, "I thought you wanted me to wait." You go, "No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay." You just go inside. You know, "I'm gonna be a bit later." You get there 30 minutes later. You walk in. The relationship wasn't getting there at the same time. It wasn't that you were moving at the same pace.

• 1:14:44Jay Shetty?

  It's that you were in constant conversation and communication and connection about where you were. And I think that's the communication that's lost.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  And I love that you're posting on your social media those things that I did one similar, but it was about... Traffic and like one is having a baby, one just divorced, one is having all situations in life. And I feel like that's social media. We just see a tiny window. We don't see the full picture. And that's when we communicate each other and we talk to your partner, you talk to your friends, you see, you say like, oh, we're not so behind. Oh, it's not that perfect. I'm like, when it comes to my social media, I wanted people to leave with a message, not with what I have, not with where I live, not, not with anything at all, because my life is not perfect at all. I understood the power of time and life, but my dad got cancer and he got diagnosed and there was a moment in life where he's, he's wonderful, I thank God.

• 1:15:35Speaker 02

  But he got into an exam and he got sepsis from it. And he was in intensive care for a long time. And I understood the power of time of the things that I wanted to do. I'm like, I want to do everything now. And it's the moments when you understand all these things, right? As an only child, I feel like when they ask you, how is it to be an only child? Was it tough when you were a kid? No. It's when you are an adult and you realize that everything is up to you. So it's just a matter of like how you can communicate. Everything is about communication. Communicate about the beautiful things you can tell a person. Why wait? If you are in love with someone, say it, even if you're afraid. Have you heard that Grayson Abbey line?

• 1:16:13Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 1:16:13Speaker 02

  It's beautiful. It's like Ericsson that just passed away. He has this beautiful line where he says, say it. If you're in love with someone, say it, even if it hurts in your bones, even if you're afraid, even if it's not the, the result that you want to hear, say it. And I feel like that's life. Go for it. Dare to say it in a meeting. I heard this amazing story about the guy that invented vitamin water. And he went to Coca-Cola and basically said, I have the next A product. And he literally sold the idea of having like water with flavors. And he got paid off like four billion, I think, if I'm not wrong. So it's just a matter of like going, communicating, dare to do it. The worst thing that can happen is a no, and that's fine, you know?

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  But it's just a matter of believing, communicate yourself, say that you love, say what you don't like as well, because in the best communications, it's saying the uncomfortable things.

• 1:17:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  People don't want to hear uncomfortable things, but it's what makes you grow in a company. And people have to come and say the things that you've been doing wrong. Nobody wants to hear that. It's going to make you grow or it's going to make you bankrupt if you don't hear that, right? So it's just a matter of communication. Life is all about communicating in every aspect of it.

• 1:17:20Jay Shetty?

  Well said. Carl? I want to thank you first of all for travelling thirty hours to be here. This is the dedication. I wanted to point it out because you've been talking about dedication. You've been talking about discipline. You've been talking about putting in the work. Talked about overnight success. For you to travel thirty hours to be here, to be on the show. I think that is the longest anyone has ever travelled to be on the show. So I want to honour you for that. I want to thank you for that. Be so grateful for that. And we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. So Coral Santoro, these are your final five. Brought to you by State Farm. Question number one, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  So I think there's a quote I really like and it's a winner is just a loser who try it one more time. So I don't stop at failure.

• 1:18:10Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Great advice. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:18:15Speaker 02

  Follow your purpose. Because well, at the end of the day, a lot of people just say like follow your purpose. But purpose comes with a lot of dedication. So I feel like that's incomplete advice. So I would just say follow your purpose, but know that it's not going to be easy. And that's the thing, just purpose sometimes is not enough.

• 1:18:32Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Question number three, when do you know that a relationship is over?

• 1:18:38Speaker 02

  I think a relationship is over when the admiration dies. You have to admire your partner for the good and the worse, you know? I was just talking to my friend who's in the studio with me, but it's a matter of like when you get married and they ask you in good or in bad and sick doesn't help. That's Supri saying like the cute version. But what if I told you, and I heard this the other day, it's like, what if they amputate three of your members? Would you still love her? It's like, ooh, it makes you think. What if we bankrupt and we have to start over? I just heard Ian Somerhalder talking about Nikki Reed and that they were eight figures in debt and how they pull through that. That's not easy. Financial debt is not easy, but it's just a matter of admiration. If you admire your partner and that dies, I think it's over.

• 1:19:18Jay Shetty?

  Question number four. How do you define a good friend?

• 1:19:22Speaker 02

  I feel like a good friend is always happy for your success. I have a group chat with two of my friends and before I got here, one is in Shanghai, one is in Buenos Aires. And they all woke up at the same time to see me get ready and my makeup. And for me, they were happy for my success. So if your friend is happy for you, you have a good friend. Because they're not jealous of you and they're not afraid of your success.

• 1:19:45Jay Shetty?

  Fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:19:53Speaker 02

  Respect. If you respect each other, that's it. You don't need anything else. Respect means you have heard one another's opinion. Respect means that you respect their time. I respect so much people's time because it means that you value their time as well as yours. Respect means that you can respect your partner because you respect them. Maybe they don't have a good day and that doesn't mean, you know, you've lost it all. Respect means that in your team, you will respect them with who they are, with their ideas, with their values. So if there could be one thing, and I think the world would be better off with, is respect each other.

• 1:20:28Jay Shetty?

  Coral Santora, thank you so much. Everyone who's been listening and watching, wherever you are, whether you're at work, at home, please tag me and Coral on TikTok and Instagram with your best moments. The parts that you're going to try and apply, the parts that you're going to try and live by, the parts that you're sharing with a friend. Coral, thank you so much for coming on the show.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 1:20:46Jay Shetty?

  I'm so, so thankful, truly grateful. And it's wonderful to finally meet you. I'm wishing you all the best for your book.

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  God bless you.

• 1:20:53Jay Shetty?

  All the success may come your way and continue to help so many people around the world.

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure and for everyone's listeners, God bless you. Keep believing in yourself. You are enough and I'll see you next time.

• 1:21:05Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much. Thank you, everyone, for watching. We'll see you soon. If you loved this episode, you'll love my conversation with Airbnb founder Brian Chesky on how to tap into your creative potential and the number one thing people get wrong about success.

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  The best people in your life will be people who see potential in you that you didn't see in yourself. And I often wonder.

• 1:21:29Speaker 05

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon fall drop, because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 1:21:58Speaker 06

  Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us out. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:22:15Jay Shetty?

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stall, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22:19Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:22:22Jay Shetty?

  I'm not the first then.

• 1:22:23Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online, only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:22:28Speaker 07

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 1:22:30Speaker 06

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite?

• 1:22:32Speaker 07

  Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.

• 1:22:37Speaker 06

  Hey, let's get back to work, please.

• 1:22:39Speaker 07

  But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites.

• 1:22:43Speaker 06

  Taylor Hansen? Nice. Try one. Mmm.

• 1:22:50Speaker 02

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.