Astrologist Chani Nicholas: Feeling Lost in Life? This Episode Will Help You Find The Clarity, Direction and Answers You’ve Been Seeking

What part of your life feels unclear right now? What direction do you secretly wish you could choose? Today, Jay is joined by astrologer and author Chani Nicholas for a deeper look at astrology beyond the pop-culture stereotypes. Chani traces astrology back to its ancient roots, describing it as a timeless tool for understanding our place in the world and the inner forces that shape us. Together, she and Jay break down the basics: birth charts, rising signs, the sun and the moon, and how each piece reveals something about our drive, our emotional needs, and the natural rhythms that shape our lives. The conversation deepens as Jay and Chani explore purpose, growth, and personal agency. Chani explains that astrology isn’t about predicting your future, it’s about noticing your patterns, understanding yourself, and making choices with more awareness. She shares her own stories about finding her calling, meeting her partner, and the ways astrology can reaffirm the truth people already sense within themselves. Together, they unpack common misconceptions about compatibility, Mercury retrograde, and so-called “bad signs,” offering a more compassionate, practical way to work with timing without giving up responsibility for your life. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Use Astrology to Find Your Purpose How to Work With Your Saturn Return How to Navigate Tough Life Cycles With Awareness How to Use Astrology to Choose the Right Moment How to Strengthen Self-Agency Through Astrology How to Release a Difficult Year and Reset Intentionally As you move forward, remember that life isn’t asking you to have everything figured out, it’s simply asking you to stay curious, stay honest, and stay connected to what feels true within you. The cycles you’re experiencing aren’t setbacks; they’re invitations to pause, reflect, and realign with the life you know you’re capable of living. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:01 What Exactly Is Astrology? 02:39 Understanding the Cycles We Live In 05:31 How Astrology Evolved Over Time 07:42 Discovering Your Life’s True Purpose 11:34 How to Read and Understand a Birth Chart 14:52 Why “Bad Astrology” Isn’t Real 19:04 What Does Your Sun, Moon, and Rising Actually Mean? 20:16 Living in Alignment With Your Chart 25:30 When Your Chart Shows the Areas You Struggle Most 27:34 Can Astrology Reveal Future Wealth? 29:12 Asking Yourself What You Truly Want 32:42 What’s the Difference Between Fate and Free Will? 36:06 What Astrology Shows About Your Relationships 38:41 Choosing the Best Timing for Big Decisions 47:13 Staying Grounded in What You Feel 52:46 If You’re Not Ready, Focus on Inner Work First 54:27 Noticing the People Who Changed Your Life for the Better 57:45 Inspiring Others Through Your Own Growth 01:03:52 What is Your Saturn Return? 01:10:51 Why You Don’t Need to Fear Your Saturn Return 01:14:19 Is Mercury Retrograde Actually That Bad? 01:18:58 Don’t Use Your Sign to Excuse Bad Behavior! 01:20:22 Are Certain Signs More Compatible? 01:23:14 Making “Incompatible” Charts Work Together 01:25:32 Who Are You as This Year Comes to a Close? 01:33:04 Chani on Final Five Episode Resources: Chani Nicholas | Website Chani Nicholas | Instagram Chani Nicholas | Threads Chani Nicholas | YouTube Chani Nicholas | TikTok You Were Born for This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 1:27Jay Shetty?

  or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop.

• 2:12Jay Shetty?

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• 2:46Speaker 01

  Astrology is the study of how the sky mirrors what happens on Earth. Of your life, of your life's purpose, of your soul, what do you want to do with that?

• 3:00Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's guest is astrologer and author, Chani Nichols, whose book, You Were Born For This, has helped millions find meaning in their charts and their lives. As we close the year and prepare for a new one, Chani invites us to reflect, release, and step into what's next with clarity and intention. And if you're loving our conversation, I highly recommend you go and grab your copy of You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance by Chani Nichols. Chani, welcome to On Purpose.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 3:39Jay Shetty?

  It's so great to have you here because I feel astrology is only being talked about more.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:45Jay Shetty?

  People are more and more curious, they're more and more fascinated.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  They are.

• 3:49Jay Shetty?

  And at the same time, that leads to

• 3:51Speaker 01

  More and more.

• 3:52Jay Shetty?

  Misinformation, misunderstanding, and misconception, and excitement and energy and language and vocabulary changing. But with all of that, I wanted to start with a really simple question, and I'm asking this, funnily enough, as much for everyone else as I am for myself as well. For anyone who's heard of astrology, but doesn't really know what it is. What is astrology and how does it work?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  So astrology is the study of how the sky mirrors what happens on earth. Astrology in your astrology chart is a mirror of your life, of your life's purpose, of your soul. It's a mirror of the events that also happen on the earth. And when you're born, somebody's astrology chart is literally like a map of their life. It's a map of your potential, it's a map of your problems, it's a map of your growth edges. It's a map of all the ways in which you need to grow and work and change into yourself.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  And what it also signifies is that there's this kind of sense of you're an amulet of the exact time that you were born. So every single moment of life has its own chart. So us meeting today has a chart for it. And it is a crystallization, or the chart becomes a map of what we're crystallizing together. So you as a person, when you're born, we look at, we take a snapshot of the entire sky when you're born and the exact location and the exact time that you were born. And we see where everything was in the sky. And that is the amulet of you, if you so choose to work with it and look at it.

• 5:40Jay Shetty?

  So you're looking at everything from the stars, the moon, the position of where you were born, the time of birth?

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're looking at everything. So literally right now, if we were to take a snapshot of the sky, because we are in this place and because it's this time, there's a specific sign rising up over the horizon. The sun is in a specific place in the sky. And everything else out there in relationship to the earth is in a specific place and it's having a certain relationship. And so astrology is the study of those relationships. One of the longest standing scientific documents is from ancient Babylon, and it's a 700 year documentation of the planets' movements and of what happened on Earth during those movements. So it's literally our longest standing scientific record.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Humans forever have been fascinated with what happens in the sky. And if you think about it, I was somewhere recently where there wasn't a lot of electricity and I could have this like beautiful swath of sky. And I was like, oh, wait, remember or think about what it was like before electricity? The sky, if you could see it, if it was a cloudless night, it was just like teeming with light. You could see galaxies. I mean, you can see the Milky Way, you can see, and then you can see the planets moving. And so we've always, until very recently, had a very specific relationship with nature, with all of life around us. And the sky has always been a part of our relationship with life.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  And the study of the planets and the study of the moon, the study of the sun, the study of the cycles that we live within, also taught us how to count, taught us how to understand rhythms. I mean, it taught us math. So it was always an integral part of how we came to understand who we were. And so through the study of the planets, for again, hundreds and hundreds of years, people came up with, the ancients came up with an understanding of what the planets did and kind of what they meant. And so we have this lineage of thousands of years of documentation and thousands of years of scholarship and thousands of years of people.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Examining what the sky was looking like and what it meant for people living that moment out. So you're a moment in time and I'm a moment in time. And that moment in time had a specific essence. And then you, as a person with free will, as a soul, you get to live that out and express that however you want. Like, but it is what it is, but you have free will within that.

• 8:26Jay Shetty?

  We're gonna get to that.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:29Jay Shetty?

  When, when did?

• 8:30Speaker 01

  I know it freaks people out.

• 8:31Jay Shetty?

  No, when did humans, when did humans start to develop astrology? Or start to interact with this mindset that what we see in the sky has relevance to who we are? Because when you say who we are, are you talking about personality? Are you talking about, you know, what, what elements are you talking about?

• 8:52Speaker 01

  So the personality kind of test of astrology is fairly new in terms of astrology's long, long history. But humans have painted, like, some of the earliest paintings we have from the caves of L'Essau in France. They are the stars, they are the Pleiades. They're the stars that would rise up around the spring. And so it was like the rebirth. And so, again, we have to remember, like, as hunters and gatherers, as people, you know, just like figuring out how to live on the earth, we would know what time of year it was because of, yes, where the sun was, but also because of what constellations were rising. So we were literally like, it was part of our ability to, to find sustenance,

• 9:36Speaker 01

  to understand where we were in time and space. So in terms of understanding ourselves and our lives and how long that is, we can only go by what we have written down. So that's at least a couple of thousand years old. And I can only assume that it was much older than that because, you know, whatever was written down might have been lost. And, you know, the written word is a fairly kind of newer technology in human history. But it's at least a couple of thousand years old that we've been making meaning of what it meant when you were born, that the sun was doing this, or there was a, you know, this thing happening over here. And for a large part, it was used to understand like rulerships and it was

• 10:19Speaker 01

  used to understand the ways in which civilizations would kind of come about. And like when it was good for the king to do this or the, you know, so and so that was in in power to do that. And then slowly, over a longer period of time, it began to be much more about the person. And like, it became more open to the greater public.

• 10:42Jay Shetty?

  For for anyone who's listening and they're skeptical about astrology, they have their doubts, they're cynical about it. What would you say to them?

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Great. I love it. Like, you should be cynical. And also, God forbid, we all like the same thing. It's like, I don't think that I don't really even want to live in a world where we all like, believe in astrology, whatever that might mean. I think diversity is really important. I think that the main, my main agenda is that you understand what your life's purpose is, and you move towards that with the greatest efficacy possible. And that moves you towards serving the world in your own specific way. I think that for me, astrology is my quickest entry point into that. But there are a thousand, and they're all legitimate and wonderful. I just want you to find yours.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  And so if you don't like astrology, great. I don't know of anybody, and I, you know, I'm sure there is people out there, I don't know of anybody that has spent a significant amount of time studying astrology, like really thoroughly studying it, and then feeling like it had no merit whatsoever. Jung, the psychotherapist psychologist, famously thought it was ridiculous and studied it and converted himself. And then he actually became somebody who impacted the field greatly. But I feel like most people that don't like it are thinking about sun sign horoscopes,

• 12:16Speaker 01

  which are like a gateway drug to astrology, like they're not the thing.

• 12:20Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about the difference between what you're talking about and sun sign horoscopes.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  So sun sign horoscopes were developed around the time of the printing press so that people could have an easy access point, an easy entry point into understanding their astrology. Because basically, if you knew the day that you were born, Give or take, you knew what sun sign you were. But before that, it was very, very focused on the rising sign. And the rising sign is so specific because again, it's about where you're born and the exact time, because that's the exact piece of sky that's rising up over the eastern horizon. And that's your marker of life, like that's your, yes, I'm here, I'm saying yes to this life, I am, you know, separate from the body that brought me here, all of that.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  So your sun sign is like something you share with people that are born within a 30 day span as you, it's very general. There's a lot to be gleaned from it, but it's not your chart. Only your rising sign can tell us your entry point and then it sets up the entire chart. It sets up the meaning of everything else for you. So it's like looking at a sliver of a picture or like even a pixel instead of looking at the whole thing. So yeah, if you are like, I don't want to be boiled down to a couple of tropes about my sun sign, I agree with you, I don't either. That's why I don't even like talking about my chart in public because I don't like having

• 13:54Speaker 01

  people think that they understand who I am by something so surface level. And your chart is so much more complex than that. I mean, there's like, there's like fractals of fractals that you can get into of meaning that people again, spent thousands of years developing and like, and pouring their, their life into. And so your sun sign is like, it's fun to share, it's very meme-able, it's very gamable. It's very shareable. And so it's an entry point, but it has so little to do with the reality of what we're actually looking at when we look at your chart.

• 14:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's relieving.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:36Jay Shetty?

  That's good, yeah. It's really helpful because I feel like you're absolutely right that it's shareable, it's interesting, it's fun to talk about, but then when you look at how valuable it is or how accurate it is, naturally it's never going to feel that way.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:51Jay Shetty?

  It's the same as a broad personality test that divides you into four core personality types. It's like, of course, we're far more complex and layered than that.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:01Jay Shetty?

  And we all believe that, especially as we get older. Can you explain, you've been referencing birth chart and chart, can you explain? What that birth chart is, I imagine it's when you're born, as you were saying, where everything lands in the sky. But can you explain how someone can read that chart? What does that mean to read someone's birth chart?

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's a snapshot of the sky, the moment that you were born, from the exact location and time that you were born. And everything in it is in relationship to each other. So you're actually describing all of the relationships that make up your life. And it is, you know, you can look at it through the lens of your personality, which is one thing, I think it can be quite reductive when we do that. But what like ancient or traditional astrology is more about is looking at the quality of each area of your life. Like where can someone expect to have success? Where can someone expect to have maybe some difficulty? What are the things that are like working for them?

• 16:02Speaker 01

  And what are the things that are going to be a challenge? And therefore, a growth edge and therefore an opportunity to develop themselves. And so you can glean somebody's like nature from it. But it's really about like, you know, someone's struggling to find love in their life. And you look at their chart and you see like, oh yeah, I can understand why that's a struggle. It doesn't mean that they're going to be in a struggle forever. It means that there, the chart is going to distinguish what the thing is. And therefore, once we know what the issue is, we can work more clearly or more definitively towards the solution for that thing.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  And so it can be a really great aid in terms of like, what's, what is the pain that you're carrying? Like, what are the things that you're burdened with in this life? Your chart will reveal that. And that can also be a real solace. Cause it can feel sometimes like we have this thing that's like against us in life. Like, why, why won't this thing work out for me? Or why doesn't this? Ever kind of take shape for me. And when you can see it in the chart, you can be like, oh, okay. That's just a setup. But there's other ways to work with that thing. But I have to know what the issue is first. And so I think that astrology helps us to identify.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  If you have somebody adept looking at your chart, or if you have good education around like what it actually is, then we can use the chart to really open up those doors for us. Because without knowing what the issue is, it's really hard to try to meet it. So you can do that through therapy. You can do that through a lot of different avenues. Again, astrology is one of them.

• 17:51Jay Shetty?

  How much of this is it so important? You just said that the practitioner needs to be adept.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:58Jay Shetty?

  And it almost feels like to me that the recipient needs to be adept as well.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:02Jay Shetty?

  And what I mean by that, what I mean by that is like, I've always looked at, so I never studied this, but as part of my teachings in the monastery, we had people who practiced Vedic astrology, which is thousands and thousands of years old. People had incredible experiences of using, there's places in India where they use leaves and there's writings on leaves. There's charts with literally like strings attached. I mean, it's spectacular, the culture and the history of it. But what I found was that, for example, if I know it's going to rain tomorrow and there's an adept weather forecast with, by the way, I don't know who does good weather forecast. But let's say it's going to rain tomorrow.

• 18:45Jay Shetty?

  As an adept person who's looking at that forecast, I know tomorrow I better take my umbrella, my boots that I'm happy to get wet in the rain and a raincoat.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:56Jay Shetty?

  And so it requires me to adapt to the information. Whereas often what I've found today is when people feel like they're going through a bad phase or there's something not working for them. It's kind of like, well, I can't do anything right now because I'm going through a bad phase. And that's like me saying, well, I can't have fun tomorrow because it's going to rain.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:13Jay Shetty?

  So talk to me about that. And if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me. I'm just sharing it from what I've heard and seen.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it is the human problem. It is the human condition, I think, to try to reduce things down to something that's simple enough to either Blame life on or to try to like, figure out really quickly. And we also try to, I think, have one answer for everything. So, you know, I mean, I get why it's so annoying because everyone will be like, oh, Mercury retrograde. And you're like, no, that's not what it's about.

• 19:48Jay Shetty?

  I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna ask you about that in a bit.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  That's not, you can't do that. Like, you can't blame ever, or I hear people say, well, you know, I'm a Scorpio. And I'm like, that has nothing to do with being a Scorpio. Like, I get the desire to do that, but that's not, you're using a hammer to do everything. And you need a feather sometimes. And like, you need different tools. So, yeah, it's, um, it is a, it's a, it's an interesting thing because when we're going into a time period that looks really complex astrologically, you want to hold it with like, okay, this looks like it's going to challenge us. It looks like it's going to require a lot of mindfulness from us. And it looks like it's going to require a lot of tenacity.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  And it looks like it's going to require more from us than general times. Great. So now we know that. So show up. How can I help people show up to that moment? Not reducing it down to everything's going to be awful, or this is why this is happening. Because if we lived in a world where compassion and, you know, thoughtfulness and community and people's health and wellbeing were front and center, then bad astrology wouldn't be that bad. It's not the astrology that's making things bad. It's revealing, or it's, it's giving you a kind of understanding of, of again, certain cycles and timings of things.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  And so if we can see like, well, what happened the last time this cycle happened? And what, what worked? Then we can use it as something that's empowering. If astrology isn't empowering, I don't think you should use it. If you feel like astrology is reducing you to something, or freaking you out, or making you paranoid, I don't think it's working. I think you should put it down and not pick it up again until that passes, or maybe for the rest of your life. Like, it should help you to feel like you're more located and you're better prepared. Like, it's, I love the rain. So if it's going to rain tomorrow, great. Maybe I can like, have, you know, a moody day where I drink tea and write in my journal.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  That's my fantasy. I have a child, so I can't do that.

• 22:00Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  I remember days like that.

• 22:02Jay Shetty?

  I love that. No. What's the difference between your sun, your moon, and your rising? Because you hear people use this language all the time.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:11Jay Shetty?

  What's the difference? What does it mean?

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, your rising sign is the marker of your life. It is the marker of your yes to life. So it's the marker of your motivation. It is what you're motivated to do here in the world. And it is your yes. It's like, okay, I'm here, I'm born. Your sun is how you shine. It's like part of how you illuminate, how your soul illuminates things. It's like what lights you up. And your moon is your body. Your moon is the physical world. If you think of the moon as a reflector of the sun's light, the moon in our chart reflects the light of our soul, the light of our sun. And we can only have this incarnation through the body. And so it's the holder, the keeper of memory.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  It is about the physical world and the physical realm, and how sacred it is to have a body to have incarnated into. And we get to do our life purpose through our body a little bit every day. Come the tiredness and the joy and all the things, but the body keeps the score of all of that, so to speak.

• 23:26Jay Shetty?

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• 24:09Jay Shetty?

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• 25:40Jay Shetty?

  So when you're reading someone's birth chart, you're seeing all of these. Could you give examples of what would fit into each one for anyone that you've read before? Randomly, obviously, you know?

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Well, like when someone has a Leo rising, then they're motivated to show up and really shine in the world. They're motivated to illuminate something, to be charming, to be adorable, to be like a recipient of people's adoration or attention. But what it also does, the rising sign gives you a key to the meaning of your life because it, the planet that rules that sign. Is the planet that steers the ship of your life. And so if you feel lost, if you feel like you're not sure what your purpose is, one of the quickest ways to understand it astrologically is to understand where

• 26:33Speaker 01

  the planet that rules your rising sign is. And so if you're the ruler of your rising sign is in your 10th house of career, then that's, it's going to be a major part. If it's in your sixth house of service, then maybe your, your volunteering is going to be, you know, it's like, where are the planets located? And what job are they doing? The planet that rules your ascendant is literally at the helm of the ship of your life. And so quite often, when I give people readings and over the years, I've given mostly strangers readings. And, you know, back before Zoom, before the pandemic, when we were all on Skype, I wouldn't even see the people.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  I mean, I guess we could have cameras, but mostly it was like, I was almost like on the phone with people and like all over the world. And so I didn't know them. I had never seen them. I don't know anything about you. I'm just going to read your chart. I'd start there and 99% of the time, people would be so relieved to hear that that's what that was. Because quite often they hadn't been fully living into it. Or it was just so innate that that's always what they did. And they're like, oh, that's, yes, that is that thing. That's what I've always been known for. And so when you're not living in accordance with these, these kind of like signs to me in your chart, if you're not living in accordance with your purpose, then everything is going to feel wrong

• 28:00Speaker 01

  and everything's going to feel misaligned. Like for myself, I never thought I would write a book. It's not anything I would ever think of, but. Nothing in my life was working and I felt so stuck and I felt so, I felt like such a failure. I felt like I couldn't figure out my place in the world. And I started writing and people started reading it and it started to take off. And I was like, what is this? This is wild. And it wasn't until I started working with my teacher, the person who would like really teach me about the lineage that I practice in, that I understood how important it was to follow that mark in my chart because the ruler

• 28:43Speaker 01

  of my ascendant is in the third house of writing and speaking and teaching. But that's nothing I had put together before. You can look at your, you know, own chart, you can look at yourself in the mirror, you can read your, you can look at yourself all the time and not get it. The beauty of having a therapist or a guide or a coach or an astrologer, somebody that's got some wisdom, is that they hold that third space for you so that you can have that kind of self-reflection. So coming to know that like, that natural inkling in me was there in my chart, gave me the permission to just fully do it.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  And then everything started to work. Like overnight, I, people started to pass my stuff around. I met my wife within six months. I mean, like, things just blew up. And it was because of that. I remember the moment where she was like, well, the ruler of your ascendant is in the third house. And I was like, oh, and it all just clicked. And I'd always wanted to write, but I never thought I was smart enough. I didn't think I was educated enough. I didn't think I was able to do it. And it's literally one of the things that changed my entire life. And it's right there, plain as day in my chart, and I didn't see it for like 20 years.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Because I started looking at astrology and understanding my chart at like age 12.

• 30:09Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  So, but I didn't really, I didn't really know what I was looking, because I didn't have traditional astrology.

• 30:15Jay Shetty?

  Right, right, right.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  So, you know, when you meet your teacher, also, everything really starts to come into practice and into place. And so when I met my astrology teacher and she taught me this really ancient, traditional way of doing astrology, it just landed everything. And it was like this whole rubric that was so clear and so concise and so specific. And so not about my intuition or not about, you know, what I felt about the chart or anything like that. Not about like, oh, I knew this Scorpio once and they did this. It's like, really like, no, if this is here, this means this.

• 30:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Do this and see what happens.

• 30:54Jay Shetty?

  So, so you're actually saying that astrology is guiding us, when you say purpose,

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:01Jay Shetty?

  but really you're talking about activity, task, methodology, like you said, writing, speaking, teaching.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:08Jay Shetty?

  Those are very occupational in that they are an activity that someone can take out.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:14Jay Shetty?

  So you're saying that astrology, am I right in saying that you're saying astrology shares your purpose? And it defines purpose as activity of greatness?

• 31:26Speaker 01

  Yes, and it can get more complex than that. So say if the ruler of your ascendance in your eighth house, the eighth house is a place of loss and grief and mental anguish. It's also a place of inheritance and other people's money, and there's a lot of things connected to it. And so when you see somebody's, you know, when you see a significant placement in a part of the chart that's really difficult, you have to wonder if they've got there yet. But often, when I see really significant placements in difficult houses in the chart,

• 32:00Speaker 01

  I'll ask, like, are you a grief doula? Are you someone who does trauma-informed counseling? Are you, you know, do you feel really receptive to other people's pain and suffering? And so it's not as clear sometimes. Like, sometimes it is. Like, you could go and study and be, you know, someone who does hospice work or something like that, if that called to you. But sometimes it's a little bit less specific. But it's very important still for that person to be able to move towards that area of life

• 32:39Speaker 01

  and know that the inklings that they have towards that area of life are very much embedded in their life's purpose. And I've just seen time and time again, once they, once you take that action towards that, that things just start to open up and fall into place. And then you find your way to do that signature in your chart.

• 32:58Jay Shetty?

  Can your astrology tell you whether you're gonna be a millionaire or a billionaire?

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Well, there's a famous quote attributed to JP Morgan that says, millionaires don't use astrology, but billionaires do. And it's not clear if he actually ever said that. But he worked with an astrologer, Evangeline Adams, for a very long time. And he was actually like a student of hers. He got readings from her and she taught him. And so he used astrology to do his banking. So I think that there are definitely signatures that can tell you when somebody is really adept at working with the material world. And whether they engage with that or not is also their choice. I see a lot of people that have a lot of talents in their chart, in their life, and

• 33:48Speaker 01

  they don't necessarily engage with it. You also have to have the friction. You also have to have the thing that spurs you into action to make use of the gifts that you've got.

• 33:59Jay Shetty?

  But your astrology doesn't tell you whether you have that part?

• 34:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it does, yeah.

• 34:03Jay Shetty?

  So your astrology could literally say, you have talent, but you have no spark.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Well, I wouldn't say that to somebody. I would say if someone has a really like easy setup, I would say the most important thing for you to do is to embrace the struggles in your life. Is to like really lean into what is gonna challenge you and who is gonna challenge you? And what's gonna help you to struggle to find your own way? And don't lean on the things that are necessarily so easy.

• 34:36Jay Shetty?

  Fascinating, because I can think of so many people in my life.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Right?

• 34:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and it's interesting that astrology also, I assume by what you just said right now, believes in growth being critical for humans to live a great life. I have a lot of friends who say to me, and they're not, they're not speaking astrologically, they're just speaking in self-awareness.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:53Jay Shetty?

  And they're saying, Jay, this is just who I am. They're like, Jay, you're ambitious, you're driven.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:57Jay Shetty?

  You know, I'm not.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:58Jay Shetty?

  And so, you know, this is just my life. And I'm like, well, I don't know if I was always ambitious or driven. I feel like there were skills I learned and habits I developed, and there were coaches and mentors in my life who taught me certain things. And you can build confidence and you can build skillsets that allow you to live a better life. And I don't just mean materially, I mean spiritually as well.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:19Jay Shetty?

  And they'll be like, no, no, no, but you know, some of us are wired like you and some of us are not. So is that true? Is that?

• 35:25Speaker 01

  I mean, there's, I think there's some truth to that.

• 35:28Jay Shetty?

  Okay, totally.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  But I think you can choose to not rest there, right? Like it's, do you, what do you want from this life? It's really about that. Like, are those people happy? Or are they suffering? Right. But are they interested in their suffering enough to do something to change it? And so what I'll look for is, is time periods that will come along and kind of put the pressure on and be like this, you're gonna, if you haven't done your work, if you haven't individuated, if you haven't really tried to build something in yourself of your own efforts, then this period of time is gonna really be rough. But that's good for you.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  You know, like Saturn will come along as a planet of boundaries and structure, and it will come along and hold you in place until you figure out. How to either find another way to move or to like lift the weight that's on you enough times until you get strong enough to move it completely. And Saturn's a planet that you can also look at in terms of your life cycles. So Saturn comes along every seven years and does something really important. So at age seven, it comes along and helps you to distinguish yourself a little bit from your parents, helps you to find like your own side. And then at age 14, age 14, usually it's called a Saturn opposition. And it's usually a time where something happens in our life.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  And you know, we're 14, so it kind of makes sense psychologically speaking. But something happens where we're like, wait a minute, this is what I want. This is what you want. These are the expectations you have on me. This is what. And then at 21, we have another one and it's part of the adult cycle. And then from 28 to 30, Saturn closes the loop and we go through something called a Saturn return. And that's where we move through our first really big threshold, where we move from whatever remnants of being a child or whatever remnants of being a young adult, kind of like have to trickle away. And we're asked to move and cross a threshold into our true adulthood and to take responsibility for our decisions and our actions.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  And so if you miss that, if you're like, nah, it's gonna be harder and harder. And you'll have like in the next seven years, you'll have another moment of struggle. And so that like saying the seven year itch is interesting because it is like a Saturn cycle.

• 37:56Jay Shetty?

  And even in marriage, right? Like most divorces happen at five to seven years.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 38:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 38:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's that friction point.

• 38:05Jay Shetty?

  Fascinating. Okay, well, you write in your book that our chart isn't our fate. It's an invitation. And I think this idea of fate and free will, and you mentioned it earlier, but what does astrology believe about fate and free will? Do we have agency or is everything predetermined?

• 38:21Speaker 01

  You and I right now are in this city. We're not in a city. We're not in France. We're here. And so there's certain conditions here. We can't do everything here, but we can do all the things in in this city that we can do. And so it's the same with your chart. It's like you're given a landscape. What do you want to do with that? How do you want to approach it?

• 38:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  And how do you want to work with these really specific skills and this really specific setup?

• 38:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's almost like I was born in London.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:53Jay Shetty?

  You were born in Canada.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:55Jay Shetty?

  And that created a certain environment.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:59Jay Shetty?

  Of what was available.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:00Jay Shetty?

  That I was aware of.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:01Jay Shetty?

  What was possible.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:03Jay Shetty?

  But somehow I've ended up in LA. You lived in LA and you live in New York now.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:08Jay Shetty?

  And if someone told me all the way up until the age of twenty eight, which is when I moved to New York, if anyone told me.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Bad on return.

• 39:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. If anyone told me up until that age that I would ever live in any other place, apart from northwest London, I wouldn't have believed it.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  Wow. Oh, so you left London at twenty eight?

• 39:25Jay Shetty?

  Ah, yeah. The first time I left was when I lived in India for a period of my time as a monk.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:30Jay Shetty?

  And then I left when I came and lived in New York first and then now LA. And so the reason I'm bringing that up is to say that there is more choice and free will and agency than we sometimes think when you're looking at astrology and you might consider everything's predetermined.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Like, I know, you know, I'll see like harrowing transits come up for me and I have to be like, I'm not going to catastrophize this. But I have to work against it, you know, it is just a natural human thing. And then I'll live through it and I'll be like, oh, that was totally different than I thought. But it's so emblematic of what it was. And I absolutely needed to go through that. It's always about like distancing yourself enough from the thing, from your astrology chart, from the thing that you're going through, so that you can understand what life is trying to teach you. So when people come to me and they're like really in trouble or they're really in a lot of pain,

• 40:33Speaker 01

  sometimes it can help to be like, yeah, this started six months ago and it's going to last for like another eight months. You're in the middle of it, you know what it is. This is it. Like, how else to, how do you want to hold this? How do you want to work with this? What is this teaching you? Like, this. Might be some suffering, but what else is here to to teach you? Or what is it here to teach you? What can you learn? And if if I am struggling and I look and see I'm in a challenging aspect, then I can be like, oh, okay. Then it's not just out of the, it doesn't feel random, I think, for some people.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  And so that's the other side of like, Mercury's retrograde is gonna work out. We don't want to do that. But we do want to use it and be like, okay, it's just a time period. It's just a cycle that we're in, that I'm in.

• 41:29Jay Shetty?

  Does your astrology tell you who you're gonna fall in love with?

• 41:32Speaker 01

  No. It tells you, though, what you need out of a relationship.

• 41:37Jay Shetty?

  Interesting.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  So it tells you the quality and the nature of the person that you need. So for me also, I didn't realize this until after I had met my wife, but I really need somebody to like work with me. I need someone to be like, right, I need someone to partner with me in every single way possible. And when we met, she just did that instantly. And I was working with my teacher at that point, and she pointed that signature in my chart out to me. And I was like, oh, my God, that's what she does. Like, me and my wife met, and I didn't even know how to put a PayPal button on my website, like on my blog. And she put it on there in like two seconds. And I was just like, wow, you're a magician. And we just became business partners like immediately.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  And so then we grew this business together. And then we created an app and, you know, the the rest is kind of history. But she was an immediate partner for me. And that is a very specifically accurate, you know, like read of my chart. So you you can see like what kind of qualities and what kind of nature you need from somebody.

• 42:46Jay Shetty?

  Does it predict when you're gonna fall in love?

• 42:48Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm sure those Vedic astrologers that they ask from would say yes. There's certainly definitely timing techniques. There's like ancient timing techniques for everything. I think that they're correct. They don't necessarily, I don't know if they'll always say like how long it will last. Some astrologers are excellent at doing that. But I think that what's more important is understanding yourself, understanding the qualities that you need in a partner. And Finding that energetic match with somebody else before you really even touch the astrology, I don't know, I think I'm not as interested in finding out when something's

• 43:33Speaker 01

  gonna happen in my life as I am in understanding who I am.

• 43:38Jay Shetty?

  I can agree with you more.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  And what I've got to give this moment and like, what's possible here? Like, what, what could I, what could I do with what I have? Because I think that our agency is the greatest power that we have. And so I, again, I never want the astrology to get in the way of you understanding your agency.

• 43:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  So those predictions can be right, but I don't know if they're helpful to know.

• 44:12Speaker 03

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• 44:42Jay Shetty?

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• 45:27Jay Shetty?

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• 46:12Jay Shetty?

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• 46:29Jay Shetty?

  I imagine though that that's the kind of questions people ask you. Because when I, when I talk to my friends who go to astrologers, it's constantly to figure out like, when am I going to meet the guy? Or, you know, when, when should I, you know, when should I think about selling my company? Or when should I start my company? Or those are the questions that I'm hearing that they're asking and then they tell me what their astrologer said. And sometimes people will be as specific as you should marry someone whose name begins with R. And you'll probably meet them in the next six months. Or, or they'll get an answer that's like, well, you're not going to find someone for two years. And, and so what do you make? You're saying that that could be accurate, but you're saying that's actually not the best use of astrology almost.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Well, that's, that's up to you.

• 47:15Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Right? It's like, what do you want to use it for? I don't use it for that because I don't think that's helpful for the people I work with.

• 47:23Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  I think that picking a time to launch your business is great. If you like, give me a timeframe, if you're like, I want to launch it in the next three months, I'll give you the best day and time within the next three months to launch it.

• 47:33Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about that. So how is that calculated and why is that important?

• 47:37Speaker 01

  You just look for the best signature within the timeframe you're given.

• 47:40Jay Shetty?

  And what is?

• 47:41Speaker 01

  You don't have like forever. You just have like the timeframe. So if people want to get married, I'm like, well, what's the best day in August to get married? And then I have to look at a time that's like reasonable to get married. Like, I'm not going to say four in the morning. I'm going to say, I'm going to look for like an evening period or an afternoon period and then look to see. I want the conditions of the planets associated with the event to be good. So if a wedding, I want Venus to be good. And if Venus is really not in a great situation, the month you want to get married, then I'll look for something else. Like, I'll ask you, like, is it really, do we have to do August? Could we do July? Or is that totally out of the question? And if it's out of the question, then it is. You just, you have to live your life.

• 48:23Jay Shetty?

  And how does that impact the quality of a marriage or a business?

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Well, it is the, the imprint of it. So it's the launch of it. So it's the mark of it. And so you don't want to play God with it. You know, there's, there's like, there's problems with every moment in time. There's problems with every chart. You just want to look for something that's relatively auspicious.

• 48:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. It's like trying to find a sunny day.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:52Jay Shetty?

  It's like no one, no one, like you don't want to get married on a rainy day.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:56Jay Shetty?

  And so you're trying to find, like, that's just a natural inkling.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:59Jay Shetty?

  And so you're saying similarly on a planetary sun level, like you want to find a day that feels auspicious, for a better word, like, you know, you're trying to find a word, a day that has good energy.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it has like a good coming together.

• 49:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Of, of things. It's got like a good, a good picture to it. And so you want to begin something, if it's within your control, you want to begin something with as much on your side as possible.

• 49:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  But then the thing you have to learn is that's still up to you. Like, that's yours to still learn. You can pick the best astrology chart in the world, but if the person you're getting married to isn't the right person for you, like, it's not going to do that much. Maybe the divorce will be better. But it's still like you still have to live your life. You still have to take the actions. You still have to do the hard stuff. You still have to show up.

• 49:49Jay Shetty?

  What do you feel, having helped so many people, being deep into this work? How have you seen astrology really help people? Where has it truly changed people's lives?

• 49:58Speaker 01

  I think it really, truly changes people's lives when they need the confirmation that their soul's purpose is what they think it is. So like I remember when I met my wife, I refused to look at her astrology chart. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to know. So I sent her to my teacher and she got a reading and my teacher didn't know anything about her. I looked at her chart and said, oh, your, your life's work is in the realm of gender-based violence. And she was like, yeah. But she was a banker at the time and she wasn't valuing that part of her work, even though it was something she had done since she was 16.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  And that reading gave her the kind of affirmation she needed to move fully towards it. And it's one simple thing. You know, it's one thing that someone says to you. And it's quite often at those junctures in our life, we just need that one thing, that one person to just hold that little bit of space for us to say, yeah, you are. There it is. It's plain as day. And then you can, then you again have to go off and do all the work. Astrology is not going to do the work for you.

• 51:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you have to act on that insight. But that insight can be so reassuring and reaffirming totally because everyone else has been reminding you of the opposite ever since you were born.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  Right. We have a lot of obligations. We have a lot of responsibilities. A lot of people want us to be a certain way, not because they're bad people, but just because of whatever conditions we're in. And astrology is one tool that can help you to distinguish yourself and really see yourself a lot more clearly. And so when you do, I think. If you're conscious, then you can take action. Until we have consciousness around something, we don't really have a lot of choice. But once something comes into awareness and consciousness, we then have choice. What am I going to do with this information? How am I going to act? Is this mine to do something with?

• 52:14Speaker 01

  And so if you need that, then a good astrology reading should be able to give you the shape of yourself in a really clear and specific way. And then you get to choose what you want to do with that information.

• 52:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. Do you believe in divine timing?

• 52:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I work in timing. It's like my whole life. My whole life is timing. And yeah, I really do. And I think that astrology is a part of it. It'll tell you about your life cycles that you're in. But you, again, have the agency to meet those moments with your work and your effort and your consciousness. And then you can, I think, speed up everything. But that requires you to say yes to the things that are yours to say yes to. It requires you to say yes to your talents. It requires you to say yes to your agency and then to fully, fully own it.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  And everything that comes along with it. And then move boldly in that direction. And then I think that time starts to kind of meet you in a way.

• 53:34Jay Shetty?

  As I'm talking to you, I'm just thinking, we're asking all the wrong questions of astrologers. Like, I'm just like, when I think about all my friends and every question they asked, I'm like, wow, we're asking bad questions because there's just so much more. And it's kind of, it's just, it's kind of like how, you know, there's that, I don't know who said this, but the whole idea of how if aliens came down to earth and saw us all just staring at our phones, they'd be like, why are you wasting life?

• 53:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:58Jay Shetty?

  And it almost feels like that, that what we're going to astrologers for and what we want to use it for seems to be so rudimentary compared to what it truly can offer. When, as I'm talking to you.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:09Jay Shetty?

  I'm like, wow, it just feels so much bigger than that and so much deeper than that.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:14Jay Shetty?

  So much more meaningful.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:16Jay Shetty?

  And we're using it to figure out like. You know, am I gonna meet my person in three months? But that's because that is our insecurity. Like, that is what people are struggling with is really that question is actually, the question may not be ideal, but it's coming from a deep rooted insecurity of, am I lovable?

• 54:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:33Jay Shetty?

  And that's because through time, we have felt that we're not lovable based on people we've dated, family, experiences. So to go back to that and expand my compassion, it's like, well, actually, the question we're asking is based on this deep feeling of just not being loved.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:48Jay Shetty?

  And therefore, we're not, we're not really asking, will I find love in three months? We don't really care about that, but we're just like, will I ever find love is really

• 54:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:55Jay Shetty?

  the question I'm asking and I would like to have, have it to happen tomorrow.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:58Jay Shetty?

  Because I would make my life better.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  I think it will.

• 55:01Jay Shetty?

  How, how would you, yeah, so how would you guide someone who is going through that experience that I just mentioned to you, when you're reading their charts? And of course, their chart is gonna say what it's gonna say, which we, you know, you can help me hypothetically, but

• 55:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:16Jay Shetty?

  what, what happens? What, what are you?

• 55:19Speaker 01

  If someone comes and they're really

• 55:21Jay Shetty?

  They're just like, you look, I got broken

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Like they're trying to make something happen.

• 55:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so like, I got broken up with

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:26Jay Shetty?

  two years ago.

• 55:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:27Jay Shetty?

  I am still getting over it. I've been dating this guy. I don't know if he's into me, I can't even tell, but I just really wanna settle down. Like, I just wanna fall in love and get married and have kids and have a great life. And I'm a good person and I've got my career sword and that seems to be going well, but

• 55:44Speaker 01

  Every straight woman out there.

• 55:45Jay Shetty?

  Totally, totally. And I have a lot of friends who are in that position right now.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:50Jay Shetty?

  They're coming to me, so I'm asking you.

• 55:53Speaker 01

  I will anchor myself in, in what I'm feeling from them. So I'll, I'll have the chart, but if what you're saying is you're not over him or you're not over the breakup yet, like, what happened to you? What are you still holding? Like, that's when I just wanna, human to human, like, there's the chart, but like, can we just have a conversation about what you're holding right now? And like, that Is a legitimate feeling of frustration and despair and feeling like you're going to be left out of a life cycle, like, you know, you're not, you're not in it. It's missing you, it's like passing you by.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  And that's a real feeling. And it is also situated in a greater context where there's a lot of people in your similar situation that feel the same way. So you're also not alone. It's, it's your personal life and it's also, there's a, a sense of like, there's another thing happening. And then I'll go to the chart and see what I can talk about. I want to talk about the person that I see in the chart that will be your partner. And I want to talk about that and be really specific about it. And then I want you to meditate on that. I want you to sit, and this is from Catherine Woodward Thomas, Calling in the One.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  One of the best meditations that she ever gave me, and I've given it to millions of people, is to sit in meditation and just not, no thoughts about, no specifics about, like, who the person, what they look like, or what they do for a living, none of that. What do they feel like? What does their energy feel like? And what do you feel like sitting across from them? And what is that energetic match? And I just want you to go out into the world and feel that. Who has that energetic resonance for you and who doesn't? So there's this things, you can get into all the details in the chart, but then there's just the like, let's just be human and just acknowledge that what you're carrying right now, it's, it's really hard.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  And that loneliness is really real. And I don't want to diminish that at all. And all I know that you have in terms of your agency is to, yes, work on yourself and develop yourself, but also just to like, be with it. Yeah. You know, like, I was 38 when I met my wife. I had had a bajillion relationships. I was like, I'm just going to be alone forever. I had totally given up on it. And then... It was like I walked out of that life and into a totally different life.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  And that can feel like a setup too, to say to people, because you know, it's like I got, I feel like I got really lucky to meet her in this lifetime. And it's a really, I feel like a really rare, special relationship. And I also did everything I could. I did every, every course, I did everything under the sun. And then I did just kind of like, let it go. And when I met my teacher and when I started to feel like I was meeting my life's calling and my purpose, I did everything I could to anchor myself to that. And I do feel like there was some kind of synergy there. So you, everyone has some kind of story like that. And each of ours are so specific.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  And I always say to people, what if you don't meet them for another 15 years? Like, I don't know, maybe you'll meet them tomorrow, but what if you don't? How are we going to make sure you live a full and beautiful, loving life? And like, you've got tons of relationship and tons of intimacy and joy and bliss and fun. Like, what do you actually need to do to feel like you aren't holding yourself back from life? Because somebody else hasn't shown up yet. We have no control over, I feel like the moment my wife was ready to meet me, she appeared like out of thin air. And like a day before, it just wasn't ready. And I'm older than her. And so it was like, I was like, oh my God, like I am, that's it? Like I've, I've lost.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  I'm too old now, or you know, all the things that, that come with being out of sync in those kinds of ways. So we each have our own journey. We don't know why it is. And yes, the chart will speak to it. But I first and foremost want to hold you as a human and acknowledge what you're struggling with. And then that's a real struggle and those are real fears.

• 1:00:34Jay Shetty?

  Can people miss the love of their life, success, that moment? Because they weren't prepared at the right time?

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  Gosh, that's.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  I. I think that for me, I have certainly

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  done things to delay my own success and my own arrival. I have burned bridges. I have done things in the past that I look back on and I'm like, oh, my God, but I was so full of insecurity. I felt so unlovable. I felt so all the things that I didn't know how else to act. I was coming with my best and it wasn't meeting the situation. So in one way, it's like, well, I wasn't ready for it and I had to learn and grow and, you know, really like kind of wrestle with life and learn. And so I wasn't quite ready for it, but I don't know if you can miss it. I don't know. I think I feel like that's kind of fatalistic.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  I just feel like when you that you you won't catch the other relationships, maybe, or the other job opportunities, like you will lose some stuff if you don't know how to show up for it. But it doesn't mean that it won't come back in a different iteration.

• 1:02:00Jay Shetty?

  It doesn't mean it will never exist.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:02Jay Shetty?

  It just means it could be delayed.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then you gotta wait for the next bus to come.

• 1:02:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  And then you gotta like, figure out what you're doing with yourself. Are you gonna read a book? Are you gonna waste your time on TikTok? I don't know. Like, what are you gonna do in the in between?

• 1:02:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Does astrology believe in the idea of the one? That there's one perfect person for you? Or that there are many people who it could work with?

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  I don't think it doesn't have that kind of judgment. It looks at the chart, like you can see when someone will have multiple significant partnerships. You can see when people have multiple children. You can see like there's our there are ways of seeing those things. And then there's, you know, it's really important for us to understand like how.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  How we work, right? So like if I understand how I work, then every relationship I'm showing up to is going to have a greater potential for me to learn from. And so the one, I don't know, like everyone that I'm in a relationship with is so important to my life and my understanding. Like every single friend, everyone in my company, everyone teaches me so much because I'm always learning about how I'm dealing with another human being, given the conditions I'm dealing with them in. So I think everyone is the one that we're, if we're in a relationship and we're in contact, like that's it. And then there are these people,

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  like no one else in my life made me feel seen the way my wife did, ever. No one got me. I don't trust anyone like I trust her. Like her talent, her instincts, her intuition, her knowledge, her wisdom is for me just unparalleled. So the synergy between us when we met was just undeniable. There was too many things that happened that were like, that was, how did you know that I was going to say that? Or how did you pull that book out? I was going to give it to you. You know, there was just so many things that occurred that I was like, this is bigger than the two of us. This is something else. This is a third thing.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  And that is so unique and so special that you might call that the one, and that's fine if that's the language. I just think it's really important to recognize when those things occur. There are some people that come into your life and they just change the entire trajectory of it. I've had teachers like that. And I've had, you know, this relationship that has been like that. And everybody else was really helpful. You know, like we did great. It was, you know, it was fine. But this is a distinct category in and of itself, I think, when, and that's my calling. Like that's my life story.

• 1:04:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  I know people that don't have that story. They have a different story. And so. Some people's one is their career or their art, their calling. Like, that's their one, and that's beautiful. And I just, I want us to live in like a village full of really distinct, different humans that do life in all kinds of different ways, so that we can share childcare.

• 1:05:21Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  Not everyone should have children, not everyone should get married. You know, like, some of us should live on the outskirts, some of us should live in the center, like, some of us are cooking for everybody, some of us are teaching.

• 1:05:33Jay Shetty?

  Will your astrology tell you that's better for you? Like, does astrology, does astrology predetermine whether you're gonna have kids or not? Like, how many kids you'll have?

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  I've had a Vedic astrologer tell me that I wasn't gonna have kids, and I do.

• 1:05:44Jay Shetty?

  How do you, so how do you reconcile that, as someone who practices, who believes in?

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  I understand why he said that, and yet, it's not true. So, it's like, it's a certain condition in my chart, and it's like, not great for having kids, and you could, I mean, I'm queer, so the way we had a kid is different than how heterosexuals have kids, so if he was trying to look at my chart through a heterosexual lens, then yes, he's right, but...

• 1:06:13Jay Shetty?

  Interesting, yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  You know, so it's really about the astrologer and where they're coming from. I've had an astrologer look at my chart and be like, "I don't know how you're ever gonna find love." Like, basically, you're doomed.

• 1:06:25Jay Shetty?

  So, how is, so how do you reconcile that?

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  I was like, "That's a really awful thing to say to somebody. That's not helpful." Even if you think that's true and you think you're right, I don't know how that's ever gonna help me.

• 1:06:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  So, as an astrologer, or a coach, or a therapist, even if my person in front of me takes it all with a grain of salt, I have a tremendous responsibility to be very encouraging of somebody's best to come forth. I don't need to make them feel doomed. That's, everybody already does feel doomed. Like, we already go there. So, what can I do to help fortify that person, to help them find their power, their creativity, their special thing in this life, and to move from that place? I don't need to make you feel like you've got a lack of anything. And I also don't need to predict everything correctly that you're ever gonna do and say

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  and be. I want that to be part of the mystery of who you are. I just think that you have, like... I don't know, when I see somebody's chart, I'm so fascinated. Like, I'm like, oh, my God, you have this thing and you do this thing. And it's the exact replica of you. You're living it out. You don't even know it, but it's the exact signature. Like, that's so beautiful to me. So my work is mostly incredibly awe inspiring because I don't have people coming to me with questions of like, when am I going to meet the one?

• 1:07:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  I really do have people coming to me with questions of like, okay, I've done this huge career and now I'm at this other place and I'm wondering what else there is. Or, you know.

• 1:08:07Jay Shetty?

  Beautiful, yeah.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or I'm in this really dark, hard place and I feel like the world's turned against me. And I'm like, I'm in that kind of crucible place. And then I get to be like, yes, I see that and I'm with you. And like, this is part of your journey and I know you've got what it takes to move through this and I just want to witness that with you. Like, I get to witness people's awareness and healing and their journey and their gifts. And I get to remind them of how powerful they are. You know, people like, I'm sure you have this too, but like, people with extraordinary like talent and success doubt themselves so much. And I'm like, you too?

• 1:08:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  You struggle with this insecurity? You struggle with this self doubt? Wow, it's just the human condition.

• 1:08:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  You know, it's incredible that we're so alike in that place.

• 1:09:01Jay Shetty?

  But there's so much to what you said about the adeptness of the practitioner, like the practitioners that you met that told you, hey, you're doomed, you're never going to find love or whatever it may be. Like, I was thinking about it because I think the often skepticism is, well, if everyone's telling you a different things, then it's not an exact science and there can't be truth to it then.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:09:23Jay Shetty?

  And I was thinking about even medically, like, I remember, this is a long time ago now, but. A doctor checked my throat because I felt I had a sore throat, but it was really bad. I was like losing my voice. It was painful. And he said, yeah, you've got a sore throat. Just take antibiotics or whatever. And I took them. Four weeks later, it was really bad. And I went to the doctor, I went to an ENT surgeon, a ear nose throat surgeon, to be really clear. And he immediately said to me, he goes, you've had polyps growing in your throat for at least X amount of months. I can't remember now. And I was like, wait a minute, I literally just got it checked four weeks ago. And he goes, no, these are pedunculated polyps. They're big, like they couldn't have grown in four weeks.

• 1:10:05Jay Shetty?

  And so I'm like, I met a doctor who wasn't an expert, who didn't, who was a doctor, but didn't have the, the right tools or whatever you want to call it. And then I met a surgeon who was very adept at his job and immediately saw what the problem was. And I was in surgery and had to get the polyps lasered from my throat. But all of that to say, I think sometimes people look at astrology and just go, oh, well, if three people said three different things, then obviously there's no truth to the actual thing.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:10:30Jay Shetty?

  But that's not correct because like you're saying, there's so much left to interpretation, cultural understanding.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:38Jay Shetty?

  Uh, you know,

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:39Jay Shetty?

  disposition of, does that make sense?

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. And that

• 1:10:42Jay Shetty?

  I'm saying in

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I understand what you're saying. I think if astrology works, the three astrologers should come up with the same

• 1:10:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  thing, the same reading. That's, and that's part of why we made an app because my, my theory is if it works, you should be able to pull up your chart in my app and get some kind of guidance from it. And get, feel seen, feel witnessed and feel like, oh, I make sense to myself. Just because the technology of the astrology is sound when it's used well. And I think that, you know, we're humans. And so you have to take that into account, that when you're going to another human for advice or for their expertise, you're going to have your own relationship with them. You're going to walk into the room and they're going to have a reaction to you.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  And it's up to them whether they deal with that in a productive way or not.

• 1:11:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:38Jay Shetty?

  So many people talk about Saturn return.

• 1:11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:41Jay Shetty?

  What is it actually?

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  It's when Saturn comes back to the same place it was when you were born. And because Saturn is the planet that, to the naked eye, is the last planet in the, in our little solar system. It was thought as such a big moment because every 28 years you go through this closing of a loop. So between the age of 27 ish, 28, 27 to 30, you go through this kind of closing of a door. And a threshold experience into a new stage of life. Saturn is the planet of responsibility and of adulthood. And it's also the planet that's of mortality. It's like, hey, I'm the time lord, like you don't have all the time in the world.

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  So at 30, you should be going through some kind of crisis, some kind of like, oh, I guess I'm going to get old too. And you should also be doing things that require everything from you. Saturn is a planet of discipline and hard work. And so this is the time to put your money where your mouth is, to like be in the game fully. And to, again, own your choice and to say, I chose to do this. And it's also a planet of separation. So in some way, shape or form, we usually separate from our family of origin. Maybe that's psychologically, maybe it's physically, maybe we get married, maybe, you know,

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  some kind of big life transition happens at that time that distinguishes us from our family of origin. Not that we're not still part of it and we could still be living at home even and well, and you know, for the rest of our lives. But there's something here that's like, I have to build a really solid foundation in the world that is mine, that is apart from the thing that I come from, or apart from the convenience or the comfort of the people that, you know, hopefully you have people that love you and you can feel like and fall back on them. But you need to understand that you can go out there and do something for yourself. Or that you can separate in the ways that you need to separate psychologically, emotionally, sometimes physically, sometimes monetarily.

• 1:13:55Jay Shetty?

  That's not a negative thing at all.

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  That's really good.

• 1:13:58Jay Shetty?

  But then why do we talk about it in such a?

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Because the internet. Because people are like, oh, my Saturn return was awful.

• 1:14:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:05Speaker 01

  And then they blame everything on the Saturn return. But a Saturn return should be a time of, of a kind of like, again, discipline, awareness, strictness, almost like severity sometimes, but also like so much joy. Like in my Saturn return, I moved to LA.

• 1:14:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  And I was, I didn't know anybody here. I didn't have any money. I didn't have any contacts. I didn't have anything. And I was like elated. I really did walk out of my life. I was living in Toronto. And I, I left and I started this whole new chapter here. And it was on my own terms and I had to really prove myself to myself.

• 1:14:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  That I could do this. And there were days where I didn't have anybody to call and there were financial struggles and I didn't have a car and like it was a whole thing, but I did it. And that, no one could ever take that away from me.

• 1:15:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  And as much as I believe in community and I believe that we shouldn't live in an individualistic kind of culture, we have to do those things that help us understand what we're made of.

• 1:15:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  That help us understand like, put me anywhere and I'll figure it out. That's how I function at least. And so that happens at, there's a version of that that happens at seven, at 14, at 21, and then at like 28 ish, that's the big one.

• 1:15:31Jay Shetty?

  I can relate to every single thing you just said.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:34Jay Shetty?

  Every single thing you said. It's, it's so vivid for me. It's like 14 and I mean, this is small, but I remember at 14, that's like the age in England that you decide what you're going to study for like.

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 1:15:47Jay Shetty?

  You do it quite early, I assume.

• 1:15:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:15:49Jay Shetty?

  So I remember like fighting with my parents about what I wanted to focus on and I won and did what I wanted to do. And that's when I felt, first felt confidence in who I was and my ability. And then 21, going on 22, I decided to go live as a monk.

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:16:03Jay Shetty?

  That was a big decision. And then 28, I moved to New York and I was in New York for two years, going through exactly what you said when you moved to LA.

• 1:16:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:11Jay Shetty?

  And it's amazing how that tracks.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:13Jay Shetty?

  On 38, so I've been through 35 as well.

• 1:16:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:17Jay Shetty?

  Which.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you plant.

• 1:16:19Jay Shetty?

  Amazing year, but.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  You plant a seed at the sad and return cycle of your own selfhood, of your own adulthood.

• 1:16:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  You're like, I'm gonna stake a claim here. Maybe this is hard, maybe it sucks, maybe I'm lonely.

• 1:16:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  But I'm doing this.

• 1:16:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:33Speaker 01

  And this is my choice. And then by the time you get to 36, you're at that next first quarter square and you get to see what worked. Like what from that seed that you planted at around 30.

• 1:16:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  Is growing.

• 1:16:47Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  And then you're like, okay, I'm either gonna double down on that now or it's not a viable option. And so it's this really, I think, really helpful kind of growth cycle.

• 1:16:57Jay Shetty?

  It's so important because we almost look at all the wrong ages.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:02Jay Shetty?

  Like if you look at the material take on it, it's like we look, obviously, we look at like 16 or 18, becoming an 18, becoming an adult. Like sweet 16 birthday, 18, you become an adult. 21, sure, you graduate, so that feels on track. But then it almost feels like after 21, no one cares. And then it's like, I'm 30 and I'm 40, and then you're just scared about.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then you have a midlife crisis.

• 1:17:23Jay Shetty?

  The next decade, yeah, so it's, it's less about growth, it's less about. I, I loved what you were saying about how like from 28 to 30, that whole idea was I'm locking in, I choose what I focus on.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:35Jay Shetty?

  The discipline, the grit, I mean, I can relate to every single one of those things.

• 1:17:39Speaker 01

  I have to put, I have to invest in myself.

• 1:17:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  So we're talking about those people earlier that maybe have a really easy situation. If they don't do that Saturn return thing and they just kind of fall back on what's easy, then at thirty six, it gets harder. And then again, at like the early forties, it does too. And it's Saturn is also this like market can feel depressive until again, you kind of start to work towards, well, what is the discipline that I need in order to do this? But some of us really like thrive on discipline and some of us really have a hard time with it. You know, there are signatures in the chart. I have, I have some friends like this, that they're just so good at having fun. And so it's hard to like

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  gather them and to like, help them to focus because part of the signature of their life is to like, enjoy things. And then you have to kind of like, work against that somewhat.

• 1:18:46Jay Shetty?

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• 1:21:07Jay Shetty?

  So if someone's about to enter their Saturn return,

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Jay Shetty?

  what would you recommend they do?

• 1:21:12Speaker 01

  Do the things that are hard, that are going to require everything from you, that are going to be worthwhile in the long run. Like, what is going to be satisfying to you seven years from now? Do not think about instant gratification. Do not, this is not a social media game. Like, this is about, if you only had seven years left, what would you do? Like, what do you want to make sure you've left here? And what would move you deeper into your integrity? So that you were proud of even having attempted it.

• 1:21:51Speaker 01

  And if it's not that serious, then it's not really either part of your Saturn return or it's not gonna last for that long. And so if you, it's, a lot of times, people will get to that age and you'll start to see their life crack because they've spent their twenties in an industry that maybe wasn't the industry of their dreams, or that took everything from them and they realized it's not really their calling. And so they've been locked in this maybe like corporate thing, or they've been locked in this other, you know, relationship. And you start to feel the cracks show at around twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty. And so this is your chance. This is like a portal of time.

• 1:22:32Speaker 01

  I mean, any day is your chance, but this is a time where the pressure and the gravity of what doesn't feel good in your life will become really acute. So if you're fearing your Saturn return, you're actually fearing the truth of your situation. And you're fearing confronting what you actually need to do and the work it will take to do it. And that's fine, you can fear it, but you can also just like embrace it and move into it and, and be okay with, I think you also have to be okay with being alone, going it alone. You have to be okay with doing something that wasn't expected.

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  You have to be okay with disappointing people. It's a time where you're supposed to learn about boundaries. And so if you can't have a boundary with yourself, which is to say, I will not abandon myself, then it's gonna be really rough. But if you promise that you will not abandon yourself, you will not abandon your gifts and your talents and your inner knowing, then the Saturn return will really set you on a course that feels like liberation. Because it's stripping you down and being like, it's this, or it's gonna be, like, what pain do you want to choose?

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  You want to choose the pain of choosing the thing you know you need to choose? Or do you want to choose the pain of denying that? And that's kind of the crossroads that the Saturn return finds us at.

• 1:24:09Jay Shetty?

  You have totally redefined my perspective of Saturn return.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:24:13Jay Shetty?

  Brilliant. It's so much more powerful as well.

• 1:24:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. It's so powerful.

• 1:24:17Jay Shetty?

  It's so empowering. It's so clear. It's so, it's so, it's better than, it's so clarifying to know what you need to focus on and what this period of life is about. And also just like the willingness to get on with it and build and, you know, create and so. The other, the other word that's thrown around is mercury retrograde.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:38Jay Shetty?

  And so I was like, so what is mercury retrograde?

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:43Jay Shetty?

  And how does it actually affect you?

• 1:24:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's very common. It happens three to four times a year for three weeks a year, three weeks each time. So that's like at least nine weeks a year out of 52, it's going to be retrograde. So because it's so common, it is so prevalent and it is so misunderstood. So.

• 1:25:04Jay Shetty?

  Please clarify.

• 1:25:05Speaker 01

  I wish no one ever mentioned mercury retrograde because I think it's the main reason why people hate astrology because someone at the office will be like, I told you everything was going to go wrong because mercury is retrograde. It is a planet of communication and is a planet that can rule every, and we, you know, rely on gadgets and technology and that's all the ways in which we communicate. So there are some very famous, you know, things that have happened during a mercury retrograde with tech companies that are kind of comical. I'm sure they're really difficult for the people that are working in them, but for like sites to go down and for communication to be bumpy is

• 1:25:46Speaker 01

  what is supposed to happen during mercury retrograde. But it becomes this catchall for everything. It becomes a catchall for everybody's every emotion. It becomes a catchall for every single thing going wrong ever in the universe. And so then it loses its definition and it loses its specificity and it loses its meaning. So it's something really common that happens and what it's trying to teach us is stop.

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  Pause and turn around and look at what just happened. Review where you just came from. Review the document. Do you need to send that text? Like, it's a good time to practice. Even whether or not you believe in astrology, it's just like a good time to practice mindfulness and thoughtfulness and reflection. And that's really what it's about. Or it's supposed to be about. It's just like a good time to be reflective. And I find that it's a, it's a, I also have a tech company. So I think that sometimes we feel it a little bit more acutely than other people. If something's gonna break, it generally does break during mercury or and I hate it because I'm always telling people it's not, you know, I'm like, don't make such

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  a big deal about it. And then I'm like, oh, my God, here it is again. But what I also find having a team, and this is for, you know, we all have a team, whether it's a family or housemates or business or whatever, is that the team, whatever the team's working on, like the system that we've put in place to work on a project together, if there's cracks in that system, it'll reveal itself. And I'll be like, oh, well, we didn't put this thing in place. So then the thing went out completely wrong. And why didn't we have that system in place? And everyone's like, I thought you were doing it. I thought, and so you tend to find the ways in which we haven't systematized something in our life.

• 1:27:35Jay Shetty?

  That's so interesting. I love that.

• 1:27:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:37Jay Shetty?

  And that's such a more sustainable, sustainable solution.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:27:43Jay Shetty?

  Because if you figure out the system, then the next time Mercury is in retrograde, the same thing can't break.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  Right. And it's just like for life, you're like, oh, well, this was always gonna break.

• 1:27:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:52Speaker 01

  So it just broke now.

• 1:27:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:54Speaker 01

  Because it's time for it to break. But this was never gonna work long term.

• 1:27:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:58Speaker 01

  So I can't, and I'm not gonna get mad at the planet. I'm gonna be like, okay, where else in my life am I not paying attention to this thing?

• 1:28:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:05Speaker 01

  Where else in my life am I not seeing that like, this system doesn't work? Or there's, there's a malfunction here? And I need to adjust the way in which I'm approaching it. And also, it's just a really good time to think, like, how am I communicating to the people in my life that I work with? Like, are they receiving, are they hearing me? Am I saying things that? Are getting the message across. Like, what do you need me to say more of? Or what do I say to you that shuts you down? What do I say to you that makes you feel smaller? And do I say things to you that make you feel

• 1:28:50Speaker 01

  a certain way that I don't want to do that, but I might be doing it unconsciously? So it's a good time to also think about the ways in which we speak to each other. And I think because our culture is so like, go, go, go and forward, forward.

• 1:29:07Speaker 01

  These are just invitations to be more reflective and considerate of what we're saying and how we're saying it.

• 1:29:14Jay Shetty?

  Do you think sometimes we use charts and signs as an excuse for our bad behavior?

• 1:29:19Speaker 01

  Always.

• 1:29:23Speaker 01

  Always. I wish, I wish, I wish we didn't do it. Because I, it's not what it's about. It's never, it's never the reason why someone's acting badly.

• 1:29:34Jay Shetty?

  Interesting.

• 1:29:35Speaker 01

  It's not because their sign. It's because a need isn't being met or, you know, there's, they're dysregulated or, you know, there's something else happened before they walked in here. They might do it in a certain style. That might be in accordance with what you think their sign means, but it's not that. As humans, we're always looking for patterns. And of course, as an astrologer, I love to look at patterns because I look at cycles and I try to see like, oh, what happened 300 years ago when Pluto was in Aquarius? Oh, we had an industrial revolution. Oh, Pluto just went back into Aquarius in March of 2023. Oh, that's when Chat GPT exploded onto the scene. Like, that is another industrial revolution. And there's a million signatures that you can look at like that.

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  So it's interesting to see like these big cycles. But because humans always want to find pattern recognition, what we tend to focus on is like, that Gemini broke my heart. And so I'm going to see that characteristic in every other Gemini that I ever meet. You know, and that's, I just don't think it's helpful.

• 1:30:38Jay Shetty?

  We often hear about how certain signs are compatible and certain signs are not, based on what you just said.

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  Awful advice.

• 1:30:46Jay Shetty?

  Not good.

• 1:30:47Speaker 01

  Every sign is compatible.

• 1:30:49Jay Shetty?

  No way.

• 1:30:50Speaker 01

  There are specific ways in which the signs will like, say, so when people talk about that, they're often talking about their sun sign. So that's again, one tiny part of someone's whole entire chart. I really wanna look at the moment that you were born, you have this full picture of the sky. And the moment they were born, there's a full picture of the sky. How do those two pictures line up? Because there's all those different points. I need to know if you're, what style is your Venus? What style is their Venus? There's no bad combination of Venus signs. There's just styles. Like your style of being your sun sign and my style of being my sun sign

• 1:31:34Speaker 01

  will have a relationship in a certain way. But that's also obviously based on us. But it's, it's not about there being good and bad matches. There's about being, there's certain resonances with certain signs. But you shouldn't be with somebody just because there's ease. Like, that's silly. And it really is about the whole entirety of somebody and their chart and the whole entirety of you and your chart. And how those full two things go together. But I don't think you should look at somebody's chart until you know them.

• 1:32:11Jay Shetty?

  Because we'll make assumptions.

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:13Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think there's such a negativity bias that we have, obviously, naturally as humans.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:18Jay Shetty?

  That as soon as you hear, like you said, oh, my last ex was a German. Yeah. This one is too. Or, oh, the chart said this.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:24Jay Shetty?

  This is what, yeah.

• 1:32:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I just don't think it's helpful when you're trying to meet somebody and get to know them.

• 1:32:32Jay Shetty?

  So when you're dating, you'd suggest we actually just date the person?

• 1:32:37Speaker 01

  Yes, I would love that.

• 1:32:38Jay Shetty?

  If we, if we happen to like them and things are getting more serious and we believe in astrology and value it, then that should come later.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, then you can see like, okay, where do we come together? Like, what are the things that we would be good at doing together? Or you would just probably notice like, oh yeah, that is what we naturally do together. How cool that that is reaffirmed in our charts. But I think you should always come to a first date or a situation where you might be meeting someone. And really, again, try to feel what it feels like to be with them. What is the energy between you? Like, do you feel safe? What is your body saying? Like, what are they telling you? What are the little things they're telling you that you would normally not listen to? Are there red flags? Like, there's a million things to look at and pay attention to before you get to an astrology chart.

• 1:33:31Jay Shetty?

  Can astrology charts tell you about some of the long-term red flags?

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:36Jay Shetty?

  Like what?

• 1:33:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like where you'll have like communication issues down the road, where like your Venus is, like my Venus is in a certain sign, your Venus is in a certain sign. So if it's really different or if they don't have a relationship with one another, then we're gonna have to work to kind of like connect it. You know, there's things that will eventually aggravate you about any person that you're with long-term. And those differences and disparities are in the charts. But they're also in the relationship, so you know what they are. The chart will just kind of confirm that, that those are differences. And this, these are where you come together and this is where you kind of go your separate ways.

• 1:34:21Speaker 01

  Or this is where you will generally tend to like miss each other. Like, my wife and I have very different incompatible charts. And a lot of things just don't go together. There's obviously places where it's like full harmony. But then there's places where we're just like kind of alien to each other almost. And it's not that I don't relate to those parts of her. She doesn't relate to those parts of me. It's just we do it so differently.

• 1:34:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:48Speaker 01

  And that's what makes our relationship. You know, it's like, oh, that's what, she's doing the thing, or I'm doing the thing. And that makes me have to struggle to like appreciate and understand somebody else. And there's always gonna be that disparity in any relationship.

• 1:35:06Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, yeah, I couldn't agree more.

• 1:35:08Speaker 01

  I feel like we always want everything easy and simple and prepackaged. And it's like.

• 1:35:12Jay Shetty?

  Well, yeah, I couldn't agree more. It's almost like that balance between it shouldn't be.

• 1:35:18Jay Shetty?

  Excruciating or torture you, obviously. And then it can't ever be fully seamless and easy.

• 1:35:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's only when we're first born, hopefully with our parent, you know, like.

• 1:35:29Jay Shetty?

  If that.

• 1:35:29Speaker 01

  If that, yeah. Most of us don't even have that, but that's what we're, I feel like, trying to get back to, that totally, that total union. And that's not what being a human is. We have to separate from each other and we have to find those places of difference.

• 1:35:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. As it's coming up to the end of the year and people may be looking back and thinking this year didn't go the way they wanted to. Maybe they didn't make the progress in their career that they wanted. Maybe their relationship is just about surviving. Maybe they haven't found a partner that they're looking for. How would you encourage them to release this year? So that they can truly move into the next year with a healthier mindset and approach?

• 1:36:16Speaker 01

  I think that one of the things that's important to remember about this time of year, at least in the northern hemisphere, is that we're moving into more and more darkness. We're moving away from the great activity of summer. And we're moving into the quietness and the stillness, which again is hard for most of us because life is so busy. But I think it's really important to allow yourself to think about this frame of time, especially as we move closer to the winter solstice, as being a time where we're just allowing a waning of energy to occur. And we're allowing that waning of conscious activity to help us transition into

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  a place of stillness and regeneration. And then if we don't allow those times of release, like if the year was hard, it was hard for, I think, most people in a lot of different ways, in a lot of different places. And so if we don't allow certain times, especially at the end of the year. To unwind and to to fully kind of just like let it be like whatever this year has been for you, that happened, it impacted you. What is it that you're left with now? And just allowing some days, especially, you know, in December, especially as we move

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  towards the 21st of December, the solstice, to just be with what was. Who were you at the beginning of last year? Who are you now at the end of this year? And have those moments of reflection, because you know, like the year will change and things will open up and it'll be busy, busy, busy, and it'll be a lot of things. But astrologically speaking, 2025 was one of those like game changing years where all of these major planets changed signs. And so it was a signal that this year was going to be very different than years that we've had in the past. And there was going to be things that were going to happen this year that were going

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  to impact us for decades to come. So if you feel like you haven't been able to do all the personal things that you wanted to do, yes, like we're in the midst of a massive transition and a lot of change. And so you're also caught up in a greater cycle of things, right? We're in a collective thing right now. And so the world is working and looking differently. And so allowing yourself time to just reflect, and not even so much with your mind, but just like allowing your body to decompress in any way, shape or form, to just deal with

• 1:39:10Speaker 01

  the impact of what this year has brought, I think is a huge gift to yourself. And allowing yourself some time, again, if you don't have kids, allowing yourself some time to write, to reflect and to reset, like you can reset. We can take a pause, we can, you know, turn the off switch off, like let it drop down and give yourself a minute to be a human. Yeah. And just like, let the reckoning kind of happen, but allow yourself to be human.

• 1:39:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:50Speaker 01

  And just be as much as you can. It's the gift of darkness. It's the gift of winter. It's the gift of this time of year is to just like less and less and less and less, because it'll all come back, come back, come back, come back. So any of that stillness, anytime you can get out in nature, anytime you can gaze up at the sky, anytime you can really, truly be present with your people. Like hopefully there's gatherings and hopefully there's, you know, places of warmth and connection in your life. Just let yourself be filled back up. If this year has been disappointing, do what you can to fill yourself back up at this point.

• 1:40:32Jay Shetty?

  And are there any habits or practices you recommend people take into the new year? Or to set themselves up for that new year to make it different?

• 1:40:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I do have, you know, like we have on the app, we've got readings for the new year. You can map out your whole year. If you want to use astrology, I go through each month and tell you about the energy and the pattern of that month. And like, this month is like go time. This month is going to look a little clustered and a little bit more difficult to like, but we can do this and this and this. So every week I give you specific things to do. I'm quite action oriented and also reflective, but I do like to say, okay, this is what this time is good for. This is what we can do. And so I go through each month. So you could always listen to all those readings and kind of plan out your month or your year, month to month.

• 1:41:23Speaker 01

  And there is a ritual for the solstice that we have on the app, because I think it is a really powerful moment. It's the, obviously the longest night and shortest day. But from there, the light starts to increase. So any intentions that you set or anything you do around the solstice, if you think in terms of cycles, brings the ever increasing light with it. So it's a really good time to think, allow yourself to move into stillness and get really contemplative, fill yourself up and then see like, what are my intentions for this year? And plant those intentions by writing them. You can burn them if you want. Gather with friends, talk about them.

• 1:42:09Speaker 01

  How are you gonna bring life into your intentions? Like, what are you gonna, you wanna, again, clear space? Get clear about it, write them down, understand what it is you're moving towards. And then what are you gonna do? We gotta, we have to feed those, we have to feed those intentions then, every day. But if you wanna think of it symbolically, the winter solstice is that time when the light just continues to grow into the next six months. So you could use that as that encouragement.

• 1:42:40Jay Shetty?

  Chani, you have completely expanded my viewpoint, opened my mind in an incredible way, and answered so many, hopefully not stupid questions.

• 1:42:50Speaker 01

  Oh my god, beautiful.

• 1:42:51Jay Shetty?

  I've learned so much and I really am so happy that, for your success and your ability to help so many people, because I can easily tell from sitting with you for the past couple of hours that everything you're doing is coming from a great place, but also is truly trying to guide people towards their greatness and their best self. And, you know, through, through all the amazing teachings and studies and research that you've done, so thank you so much.

• 1:43:18Speaker 01

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 1:43:20Jay Shetty?

  We end every episode of On Purpose with a final five.

• 1:43:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:43:23Jay Shetty?

  These questions have to be answered in one word, one sentence maximum.

• 1:43:27Speaker 01

  One word, okay.

• 1:43:27Jay Shetty?

  So you have a sentence, you have a sentence. So, Chani Nichols, these are your final five.

• 1:43:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:43:33Jay Shetty?

  The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

  If you choose it, do not feel sorry for yourself about it. Your agency is your greatest gift and your greatest power. The moment you feel sorry for yourself, you decouple yourself, you do yourself the greatest disservice. If you choose it, do not feel sorry for yourself about what it takes to make it happen. You can unchoose it, but if you're choosing it, this is what it is. Do you still want it?

• 1:44:07Jay Shetty?

  Such a great answer, I love that.

• 1:44:08Speaker 01

  So many questions.

• 1:44:09Jay Shetty?

  So good, no, that was great, that was great, I loved it. Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:44:15Speaker 01

  Someone telling me they didn't know how I was ever gonna find love. I don't know if that's advice, but, yeah.

• 1:44:22Jay Shetty?

  Question number three, does astrology tell you when you're gonna die?

• 1:44:30Speaker 01

  There are ancient timing techniques that do. I do not dabble in those arts.

• 1:44:36Jay Shetty?

  Tell me more about the arts. Tell me more about the arts you don't dabble in.

• 1:44:41Speaker 01

  I don't want to know that. There are timing techniques. There's like mathematical equations you can do. There's ways that you can tell that. There are people, very few, most astrologers would say I don't, I won't do that. Cause I don't, I don't, that's not a, that's not an art form that I need to look at. It's above my pay grade.

• 1:45:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, got it. Um, question number four. What's a misconception about astrology? That you'd like to debunk?

• 1:45:12Speaker 01

  That there's certain signs that are good or bad.

• 1:45:16Jay Shetty?

  They're all bad.

• 1:45:18Speaker 01

  Yes, they're all problematic.

• 1:45:23Jay Shetty?

  Explain which one's the right answer?

• 1:45:25Speaker 01

  Well, everyone, every single sign is an archetype. So the archetype is both, has qualities of both like magnificence and horror because they're reflective of us. So everyone's a problematic fave.

• 1:45:43Jay Shetty?

  Fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:45:51Speaker 01

  I've listened to a lot of your episodes. I don't remember this question.

• 1:45:54Jay Shetty?

  Oh, it's always last.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:45:56Jay Shetty?

  So.

• 1:45:56Speaker 01

  Cause I haven't finished.

• 1:45:57Jay Shetty?

  You're living, yeah, exactly. That's what I'm learning, Chani.

• 1:46:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. The law is that everybody's child is yours.

• 1:46:07Jay Shetty?

  I love that answer. That's a great answer. Never had that before. That's brilliant. The book is called You Were Born For This. The app is called the Chani App. Chani Nichols, everyone, please share what you learned on your Instagram stories, your TikToks. I'd love to see the clips that you all create and the parts of this that you're going to practice. Of course, use the app if you're someone who really wants to know your chart and understand how your next year of 2026 is going to map out. And of course, go and grab Chani's book, You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance. And follow Chani Nichols across all social media platforms if you don't already. Chani, thank you so much for being here today. I hope this is the first of many times that. You'll come on the show and Yes.

• 1:46:51Jay Shetty?

  and light to me and our community and so grateful for you and thank you for asking, answering all the questions. My gosh. Wherever we went. My gosh. So grateful to connect with you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. If you loved this episode, you'll love my conversation with Dr. Joe Dispenza on why stress and overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart and how to change your habits that are on autopilot. Listen to it right now.

• 1:47:16Speaker 04

  How many times do we have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering? That's the moment of change. I don't care how many times you fell off the bicycle. If you ride the bicycle now, you ride the bike.

• 1:47:28Speaker 05

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• 1:47:58Speaker 06

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• 1:47:59Speaker 07

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• 1:48:01Speaker 06

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