5 steps To Find Your Purpose (The Fast Track To Build The Life You Want)

What excites you the most in life? When do you feel most fulfilled? What if you could not only live longer but also feel healthier, more energized, and more fulfilled as you age? Today, Jay uncovers the secrets of longevity, sharing wisdom from some of the world’s leading experts in health, wellness, and aging. Recorded at the Longevity Summit, this episode explores groundbreaking insights on how we can extend not just our lifespan but also our health span, ensuring that we live longer, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. Jay unpacks the science behind aging, from cellular regeneration to the role of mindset in shaping our physical well-being. He shares compelling research on nutrition, movement, and daily habits that contribute to longevity, emphasizing how small, intentional changes can have a profound impact. Through thought-provoking conversations and personal reflections, Jay helps us understand how to take control of our well-being, cultivate emotional resilience, and prioritize self-care in ways that align with our long-term health goals. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Add More Healthy Years to Your Life How to Strengthen Your Mindset for a Longer Life How to Reduce Stress and Boost Emotional Resilience How to Create a Longevity-Focused Morning Routine How to Use Movement and Exercise to Slow Aging How to Prioritize Sleep for Long-Term Wellness The journey to longevity isn’t about drastic changes or chasing the latest health trends, it’s about making small, intentional choices every day that add up over time. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:11 Experience the Grounding Meditation 09:22 The Search for Your Purpose 12:55 What Are You Holding Onto? 17:25 This Isn’t Your Purpose 19:42 Who Found the Most Meaning in Life 32:11 Five Check-In Systems for Envy 32:49 #1: Deep Sense of Belonging 39:46 #2: Continuous Learning 44:55 #3: Individuality 47:00 #4: Significance 50:40 #5: Service 53:31 The Biggest Key to Meaning and Purpose See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:43Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. Confidence isn't something Mazda finds, it's something they practise. That's the thinking behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features designed to help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with the road ahead. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand and has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick+ Awards than any other car brand as of July 2026. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs.

• 2:15Jay Shetty?

  And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:42Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can experience On Purpose in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences for a private Q and A, intimate meditation, and a meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jayshetty.me/tour and get yours today.

• 3:26Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm so grateful you're here and I can't wait to dive into today's episode because we're talking about something that affects all of us. It's trending right now, it's buzzy right now. The thing that we all think about, longevity. Can we live a longer, healthier, more meaningful, more energetic life? Longevity isn't just about having more years, it's about having more life in your years. I recently had the incredible opportunity to speak at the Longevity Summit, where I shared insights on how mindset, habits, and purpose play a crucial role in how we age.

• 4:08Jay Shetty?

  In this episode, I'm breaking down the science-backed habits, mindset shifts, and daily routines that can help us not only extend our years, but make those truly the best years of our life. So whether you're in your twenties, forties, or beyond, this episode is for you. It's never too early and it's never too late to start making changes that can transform your future. I can't wait for you to hear this keynote. Let's get into it.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  We all know that purpose is one of the keys to longevity. There's a 15% reduction in all causes of mortality if you have purpose. Jay is the expert on purpose. He is the host of one of the top health and wellness podcasts in the world, On Purpose. If you don't listen to this, you have to download it. He's an entrepreneur, a bestselling author, proud to call you my friend. And I start every morning with the Five Minute Daily Jay on the Calm app. And we are so lucky to have them do this live for us today to kick us off. And he told me, everything we're hearing today is brand new content. No one else has really heard this ever before.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  So with that, Jay, thank you.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Thank you so much.

• 5:38Speaker 04

  Good morning, everyone. It's wonderful to see you all. It's always relieving when your doctor introduces you on stage. It's a new experience for me, but thank you, Darshan, for being a dear friend and incredible doctor to me personally. I'd like to start off, as Darshan said, with a grounding meditation to get us all in this space. How many of you have been traveling lately? Maybe you've got travel plans this summer and you're thinking to yourself, "I really hope that I can capture these memories with my loved ones and family." That you want to keep them inside of you, you want to take a mental picture. So what I'm going to guide you through today is a practice that I love to share.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  That we can use to take a mental picture wherever we are in the world. So when you're with your children, when you're with your partner, when you're with your friends and loved ones, how can you take that experience with you everywhere for the rest of your life? So what I'd love to do is I'd love for you to keep your feet firmly grounded in case you have them crossed over. I'd love for you to put your phones away. It's not that kind of a meditation.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  And I'd love for you to release anything from your hands, whether it's pens, notebooks, whatever else it may be, so that you can truly be free.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  And I'd like you all to take a moment

• 7:00Speaker 04

  to just look around this space

• 7:04Speaker 04

  and bring your awareness to five things that you can see.

• 7:12Speaker 04

  And I want you to observe them a bit more deeply than you ordinarily would.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  The colors, the shades, the shapes.

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Bring your awareness to five different

• 7:34Speaker 04

  objects in this room.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  Looking at them closer than usual.

• 7:47Speaker 04

  And when you've found your five,

• 7:51Speaker 04

  take in a deep breath

• 7:54Speaker 04

  and gently and softly close your eyes.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  What are four things that you can touch?

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Maybe the clothes that you're wearing,

• 8:10Speaker 04

  the seat beneath you,

• 8:16Speaker 04

  the texture of the floor.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  Notice the temperature of the four things that you can touch.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Is it cold or warm?

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Is it harsh or soft?

• 8:39Speaker 05

  Bringing your awareness to four things you can touch.

• 8:47Speaker 05

  Taking a deep breath.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  And out.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  What are three things that you can hear?

• 9:01Speaker 05

  The sound of your breath.

• 9:09Speaker 05

  Something in the background.

• 9:14Speaker 05

  No sound is a distraction.

• 9:18Speaker 05

  Only a point of focus.

• 9:31Speaker 05

  Taking a deep breath.

• 9:35Speaker 05

  And out.

• 9:39Speaker 05

  What are two things you can smell?

• 9:44Speaker 05

  A fragrance? A scent?

• 9:52Speaker 05

  Cleanly washed clothes?

• 9:58Speaker 05

  Breathe in that scent.

• 10:01Speaker 05

  Becoming present through smell.

• 10:09Speaker 05

  Taking a deep breath.

• 10:13Speaker 05

  And out.

• 10:19Speaker 05

  What's one thing you can taste?

• 10:23Speaker 05

  Maybe some breakfast?

• 10:26Speaker 05

  Morning coffee?

• 10:32Speaker 05

  Become present through taste.

• 10:43Speaker 04

  And now, repeat after me. I am where my feet are.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  I am present in this moment.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  I am here, right now.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  With the five things you could see, the four things you could touch, the three things you could hear,

• 11:18Speaker 04

  the two things you could smell, and the one thing you could taste, you're now truly in this moment.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  And when you're ready, in your own time, at your own pace, you can gently and softly open your eyes and just experience the moment.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  Does that feel good?

• 11:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  Thank you so much for taking part. Thank you for holding that space for each other. And thank you for holding on to your coughs. I know it can be hard. Some of you ruined it a little bit, but

• 12:00Speaker 04

  but the rest of you, thank you so much. So, as Darshan said, today we're talking about searching for purpose.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  And it's a really interesting quest that we're on, searching for purpose.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  And as I was putting this together, I was often thinking about, what else do we search for often?

• 12:23Speaker 04

  And I was thinking about how much time we spend searching for what to watch every night. My wife and I did this yesterday evening. And we sat there and watched roughly two minutes and 29 seconds of seven different shows, and then gave up and went to bed. And so I Googled it this morning, saying, "How much time do we spend every morning, or every day, or every year, searching for what to watch?" And the answer is 45 hours. Forty-five hours a year are spent deciding what to watch.

• 13:01Speaker 04

  And I was thinking, what if we put that 45 hours into searching for purpose? Right? All of us, we're busy people, we don't have time. It's very hard to find that five minutes. We just did a five-minute meditation. It can be very challenging. But we spend about seven minutes a day wasted on deciding what to watch, 45 hours a year. And that time just disappears. What if we were able to redirect that? Now, what's really interesting about the word "purpose", and Darsha and I were just talking about this, I think so many of us know what it feels like to chase success. It felt very tangible, it felt very obvious, there were clear markers, there were clear things to measure, there was clear data,

• 13:45Speaker 04

  the promotion, the company, the exit, right? There were clear points, there were clear milestones as to how we get there. And I think we know that, we understand that. We were trained since we were young people to be successful. It was part of our DNA, it was part of the college you went to, the parents you had, the people you were around. And then, at one point, everyone started to talk about happiness. And that was completely the opposite. There were no milestones, there was no data, there were no metrics, and it was kind of confusing. And then we started to realize that happiness wasn't as tangible and holdable, and it was a feeling, and maybe happiness was a hard thing to look for in difficult times.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Maybe you went through the loss of a loved one? Maybe you went through a really uncomfortable process, giving birth to a child? Maybe there was just loads of discomfort and difficulty, and happiness just feels like a very far-off, distant thing to even understand. And I think purpose, and what I aim to do today, is to start helping define the measurable, the milestones, the formula of what it could be, what it might be. It's not perfect yet, we're not there yet. We don't have the level of clarity, because it's new, we're still figuring it out. The research is new. But we do know that it helps reduce stress.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  We do know that it has positive markers when it comes to inflammation. We do know that people who have purpose in life live longer. So how can we start to understand what purpose is tangibly? In a physical way that we can feel it, not in a woo-woo way.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Right? Not in a way that's like, "Oh yeah, one day it'll be nice, wouldn't it?" But no, what does it actually mean?

• 15:36Speaker 04

  I want to start off by sharing with you a story that was often told in the monastery, and it's a story that the Buddha would tell. And the Buddha often shared this story about an individual who was on a journey. An individual just like you and me.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  This person, on their journey, came across their first obstacle. Now, their first obstacle was not millennials.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Their first obstacle was not annoying board members. And their first obstacle was not how to get investments. This person's first obstacle was a fast-flowing river. And the person had to cross to the other side to continue their journey. Now, this person didn't know what to do. But he knew that the river was fast. So he decided to build a raft. So he got bamboo, he laid it out, put down two rows, tied it up with some rope in the corners. He even managed to make himself an oar. He got on top and he paddled and paddled and paddled as fast as he could with all his energy and all his strength and all his might. And he finally made it to the other side.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  And he thought to himself, "This raft saved my life. I'm going to take it with me everywhere I go for the rest of time." Now, I'm sure you can think of things in your life that feel that way. So, he strapped the raft to his back. And he decided to walk with this raft on his back forever because this raft saved his life. And just like us, he came to another challenge. Now, his second challenge was not an IPO. His second challenge was a tall wooded forest with trees dotted at every step.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  And as he walked in with his raft, the raft just kept getting stuck and he was trying to maneuver and he was trying to get through and he was trying to figure it out and the raft just kept knocking and chipping and breaking and falling apart. And the Buddha says that in this moment, this person had a really interesting dilemma and an important decision to make. The question the person had to answer was, do they hold on to this raft that saved their life and try and make their way through, knowing that not only will it be harder but the raft may even break?

• 18:12Speaker 04

  Or do they leave it on the floor and walk through freely? The Buddha told this story naturally as a metaphor for our lives. All of us may have had so many mindsets, so many habits, so many practices that got us to where we are today and they saved our life. There's no doubt about it. They were brilliant. The mindsets you've developed, the habits you've developed, the patterns, they have been fulfilling and amazing. And I think this is a mistake that successful people often make, is that we judge the skills and habits that got us to where we are.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  And what that creates is this critical culture inside of our minds and our hearts where we hate what we became in order to get to where we are. And then we're in an uncomfortable place because now we're trying to grow from a place of hate. We're now trying to move forward from a place of pain, rather than saying, "Actually, what got me here is beautiful. This raft is fantastic. It's brilliant." It's just not necessary anymore.

• 19:20Speaker 04

  And there's a beautiful Zen proverb that says that letting go is hard, but holding on is harder. And so as I walk you through this today, I ask you to reflect on what are you holding on to? What is something that you know doesn't work anymore? But because of habit, because of pattern, because of routine, because of systems, whatever it may be for you, you've held on to it for maybe six months too long. Maybe three months too long. Maybe two years too long. There's something in your life that isn't letting you move forward because you're holding on to it. Not because there's something in front of you, but because there's something behind you that you're stuck to and attached to.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  So before we define what purpose is, I want to define what purpose isn't. Your purpose does not have to be your job. I think over the last few years, we've seen a lot of research and studies that makes it feel like if you can make money from something and you're good at it, that becomes your purpose. And I found that to be extremely limiting when I started to look at the research behind purpose. I also found it extremely limiting when I started to think about the number of people in the world who may never be able to achieve that. It was an idea that actually felt outdated and useless because it wouldn't be scalable, it wouldn't be possible for multiple people to experience purpose that way. Your purpose does not have to be big.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  I think a lot of the times there's this pressure, especially if you've already been successful, that the next thing you do has to be bigger. The next thing you do has to be better, the next thing you do has to be bolder. And I've seen that waste people's money, time, energy, effort and life away because the mismanaged resources of wanting to do bigger, better, more leads us down a different path. Your purpose does not have to make you money. Your purpose does not have to make you famous. And your purpose is not a person. This one's the hardest one to stomach. And this one I only learned when I was writing my last book, Eight Rules of Love. I sat down with couples who'd been together for thirty or forty years.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  And one of the clearest things I heard was at one point, someone in the relationship prioritized the kids as their purpose. But then thirty years on, when the kids had moved out, gone to college, started their own lives, felt like they didn't know what their purpose was anymore because their identity was wrapped around a person. And that's the hardest one because a person can become our purpose very easily. It becomes really easy to get fixated and wrapped up in an individual. Maybe you've even done it in a toxic partnership where the person became your project. And because you see them as a project, you can see it as a purpose.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  But a person can't be your purpose. So as we dive into this and we start defining what purpose is, this study stood out to me the most. And I'm going to go through this with you because this research showed who found the most meaning and purpose in life. The first was people who strongly agreed, which I think will be very easy in this room, people who strongly agreed that hard work is the reward. Hard work in and of itself. Now, I don't think I need to explain that to anyone in this room. I feel everyone in this room feels very comfortable with that. So you can see that the percentage of people

• 23:02Speaker 04

  who strongly agree their life has meaning, they strongly agreed hard work was in itself the reward. The second one, again, very easy in this room, strong belief in personal agency, that your behaviors and your actions actually make a difference. That you know that what you decide to do, what you choose to do, what you invest in has value. Again, I feel a sense of contentment in this room on those two. Am I right? Give me a show of hands if you agree that the first two feel like wins. Put your hands up if the first two do not feel like wins. And put your hand up if you don't put your hand up, no matter what I say. Thank you for the honesty. There's one honest person in this room. Thank you so much.

• 23:47Speaker 04

  First two, we're pretty clear on. Third one again, highly emphasizes personal responsibility. A sense of personal responsibility. And the reason why I'm sharing these with you is because for those of you who have children or have young people in your lives, I think these three are often what so many Gen Z and millennials are struggling with. The feeling that personal agency exists. The feeling that responsibility matters. The feeling that hard work can be the reward. You may have mastered it, but the people around you may actually be struggling with this. And our desire to coddle in society may be losing that effect. So those three may be for people in your life, may not for you.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  The last three are my three favorites for this room. The last three are the ones I want you to bring your attention to. High compassion. People who had more meaning and purpose in their life were highly compassionate. That's a really fascinating one. And I'll break down what I mean by that. Often what we find is when we... How many of you have done hard things in your life? Raise your hands if you believe you've done hard things. Right. What often happens is when we do hard things, we become more hard-hearted. As we do harder things, as we break boundaries, as we defy limits,

• 25:12Speaker 04

  what often happens is we create a sense of a feeling that we've done hard things and other people should be able to do them too. That often that what we've done, somewhere subtly, subconsciously, there's a belief system that other people need to step up and get their act together. And it may not be as harsh or extreme as that, but there's a subtle feeling of how doing hard things makes us slightly hard-hearted. But actually, what we realize is that the people that are happier and have meaning and purpose in life, they've found that doing hard things made them more soft-hearted. Why? Because they realize how hard it is.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  They actually recognize how difficult it is to be disciplined, to be focused, to be organized, to be dedicated, to be committed, to be loyal. That is so challenging.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  That when you meet someone who's struggling with those things, you actually feel compassionate because you realize, you take a moment to honor how hard it was for you to do it.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  And this is a really intricate subtle point. The challenge we have with being compassionate to others as high performers is because we struggle with compassion with ourselves. How many of you know that showing yourself a little more grace and kindness would be a useful asset in your life?

• 26:43Speaker 04

  How many of you have said something really critical to yourself in the last 24 hours?

• 26:49Speaker 04

  Wow, right? So fascinating to me. As high performers, you are really confident and really critical, right? It's like this crazy in-between that you experience. If you can walk into the room and you can know you can own it, and when you walk out of the room, you're criticizing yourself of how you didn't own it. Right? That's what it means to be a high-performing individual. That's how it works. But the challenge becomes that we lose our compassion with ourselves. And meaning and purpose are far more tied to compassion than criticism. They're far more tied to collaboration than competition. They're far more tied to care and kindness than they are to competing with someone else or comparing ourselves to someone else.

• 27:35Speaker 04

  So high compassion, where... And I leave this with you for this section of... Think about over the next 24 hours, where you can show some compassion to yourself and where you can show some compassion to anyone else. Try for the next 24 hours, when someone shares their story with you and in your head you're thinking, "Come on, get over it, come on. It's not that bad. Come on, it's not that bad. I'll tell you a story, right?" And I'm sure you have legitimate stories. Take a moment to see where in your own heart you've lost some compassion for yourself. This one is my favorite point of all of them, the fifth point on this list.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  People who had a strong sense of meaning and purpose in their life, low envy. Envy was extremely low, right? Now, I can't wait for a Darshan at Nextelf to invent a envy marker. Right, I'm waiting for a Darshan. You've got to find a way to measure this envy marker inside all of us and give yourself a score. But it's what we need because you, you know this better than I do and, you know, I'm sure you know people, we know people who've achieved everything you could possibly want to achieve and still feel envious. I remember sitting down with a client who was the number one person in his industry at the time.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  And I remember sitting down for my first meeting with him. And when I'm doing my purpose analysis, kind of like what you do with your doctor's analysis and your bloods and everything else, I did my analysis and I often asked the question, "Who are you envious of?" So I don't ask, "Who's your competition?", I ask, "Who are you envious of?" And this person, who was number one in their field, global icon, world-known, one of the, you know, most well-known people in the entire planet, named another person who was number one in their industry, in a completely different industry, not in their, not in their field, in a completely different field. And I was sitting there completely confused and I was thinking, "Why?

• 29:46Speaker 04

  How? Like, you have everything that that person has, like, whether it's finances, whether it's physical appeal, whether it's attracting, you know, a partner, whatever it is, you have all those same superpowers that I see in that individual." And I asked them, "Why? Why, why are you envious of that person?" And they said, "Because I feel that that person is loved, fully. That that person is fully loved." And I said, "Well, you haven't checked Reddit or Twitter for a while." Right, like, there's no one who is loved fully in the world. That's just, that's just not true, there's, there's no one. And it was just a really fascinating thing for me about how, no matter how high you go, high envy...

• 30:31Speaker 04

  Is a cancer that will destroy everything. It will eat up all, all the goodness in your life. Whether it's a beautiful partner, family, job, work, impact, service. That, that envy piece destroys all of it.

• 30:46Jay Shetty?

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• 31:30Jay Shetty?

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• 32:13Speaker 04

  Now envy is a tough one because the challenge is we automatically look at it as negative. And that belief that we have, again, we go into that hypercritical mindset. We judge ourselves for being envious. We get critical, oh gosh, I've got so much envy inside of me, right? And that mindset, that guilt blocks growth. I think this is a really important point, that guilt blocks growth. Shame blocks growth. Guilt and shame are not great incentivizers long term in order for us to experience transformation.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  So what do we do with our envy? With our envy, we lean into it. What are we genuinely envious of? Let's actually study our envy. Let's actually take note of it. Is it a signal? Is it a sign? What is it showing us? What are we specifically envious about that person? Right, my client, going back to them, they were envious of this person because they believed that they were fully loved. As soon as I started showing them how they weren't, all of a sudden their envy started to break because they'd built up an imagination and a visual and a concept of who this person was beyond the truth. It was an illusion version of who this person was and what they'd achieved. It wasn't real.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  What's the illusion that you need to burst to burst your envy? We always talk about that, right? We always say that people on Instagram, it's just their highlight reels. It's not their real life. We hear that again and again and again. But internalizing that with the person that we admire. What is it about them that we truly envy? What does that show us about what we want to pursue in our life? Because maybe there's something for us to learn and gain and study. And that leads us on to the last one, which is common. People with high meaning and purpose admire high achievers. 63% of those people who felt meaning and purpose in their life admire high achievers. What can our envy teach us?

• 34:11Speaker 04

  What is your envy exposing as a potential goal for you, as a potential focus for you, as a potential pathway for you that you're actually blocking yourself off from because we're judging ourselves for being envious? So notice, these are the shifts. And I think anytime you're not feeling meaning or purpose in life, this is a great marker and metric to come back down to. Am I feeling high or low envy? Is there a place I can improve my compassion and increase my compassion? How can I study the person I might be envious of? Where is that going to come from? Where am I going to learn that from? Rather than putting it aside. So what I want to share with you is, I looked at this, I looked at some more research,

• 34:56Speaker 04

  and I came up with five checking systems that each and every one of us can do in our lives. You can do this with your family and friends without asking someone, "What's your envy level?", which may be a bit intimidating.

• 35:11Speaker 04

  Language that may be a bit more palatable and easy to do. And I'm gonna give you five markers that you can check. Check in with yourself, check in with others to see if they're going. And I've been working with people to figure out how many of the five that they have in order to feel a 360 degree level of purpose in their life. Now, I want to start off with belonging. So the first is belonging. All the people that had purpose in their life had a deep sense of belonging. Now, belonging is something we often turn to our families for, but that's because we've become more and more isolated from community living. We know that, right? Many, many years ago, we would have been surrounded by bigger families, supportive families, would have helped each other out with the kids,

• 35:56Speaker 04

  would have helped each other out with cooking. There was far more. Now, we're getting more and more isolated. I live a 10-hour flight away from my mom and a 20-hour flight away from my dad, right? I'm in a city. I lived in New York for two years. I've lived in LA for six years. I don't have any family in either of these places. I'm isolated. We have friends, of course, but there was a sense of we've moved away. So belonging on a family level isn't enough when we're looking at the term belonging for purpose. Belonging was, do I feel a part of something bigger? Do you feel like you're a part of something bigger? YPO is a place of belonging, right?

• 36:40Speaker 04

  This is a place of belonging. That's why you're here. And I encourage you to make it a deeper place of belonging by encouraging vulnerable conversation. I recently went on a retreat with around 16 people, mix of industries, athletes, artists, musicians, to Bhutan. It was an amazing trip, really, really special. If you've not been to Bhutan, I highly recommend it. It's famously known for measuring GNH, Gross National Happiness, not GDP. We got to meet the king and understand his vision, got to meet the former prime minister to understand how they've maintained a country that really feels like you're going back in time, but has held on to its cultural values.

• 37:24Speaker 04

  You're not allowed to... You're not allowed to ski on the peaks or try and climb them. They'll always make sure that the ratio of trees on land is 70%. They won't cut below that because they believe that the trees and the mountains are sacred. There's a really special culture there that they've been able to hold on to. Remember Bhutan is landlocked between India and China, right in between a tiny little country, you know, surrounded by these two big powerhouses. And they've really held on to this culture. And I was asked to lead a session there to help people be more vulnerable. And I leave this with you to do throughout the rest of the day with people you're getting closer to, but to increase belonging.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  I encourage you to answer this one question, with maybe the person sitting next to you afterwards, or maybe someone at lunch, or whatever it may be. This, I promise you, will drop the walls, escalate vulnerability and closeness and belonging like no other question. The question is, what is the number one thing in the world that you're scared of being judged for? What is the number one thing in the world that you fear judgment of? The person you've revealed that to now has a secret weapon, so be careful who you share it with. But it's a really powerful thought.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  There's an amazing author named Charles Horton Crewley, who wrote this in the 1900s. He said, "The challenge today is, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am." Let that blow your mind for a moment. He said, "The challenge today is, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am."

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Let me break that down. Which means we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. If I think you think I'm smart, I feel smart. But if I think you think I'm weak, then I feel weak. We allow what we think others think of us to define how we think about ourselves. And we live in what he called the looking glass self. We live in this kind of perception matrix for our whole lives, never really bursting the bubble and breaking out of it. So belonging can only exist when it's not based on fitting in.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Belonging can only exist when we're actually our truest selves. Belonging can only exist if we are truly open and vulnerable, because otherwise all you have is a culture of people pleasing. So belonging for a lot of us has ended up in people pleasing because we say the right thing, we do the right thing, we wear the right thing so that we can fit in. We say the right thing so that we can fit in. But we don't feel belonging because we don't feel seen, heard, and understood because we've never shared that part of ourselves.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  So that's belonging. Belonging is feeling a part of something bigger and being a part of something bigger. WIP is a great place to actually experience that and to develop that and to invest in that. And what's really interesting is a few, probably about 10 years ago, I was reading something that was talking about how what was important in society was defined by the height of a building.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  So back in the day, a few decades back, the tallest building in a town or a city was the church or a temple or a place of worship. And that was considered a place of belonging and community. Right? No matter our views on religion, that was the hope, or at least that was the goal. That then changed to being the government building. Right? The Capitol building. That became the tallest building in town. That became the thing that we looked towards for direction. Again, less belonging, a bit more private.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  And then now, the tallest building is the businesses, the skyscrapers. No belonging whatsoever. So you can see how society, just by what we've built as the tallest building, has switched in our priority of belonging and community through to business and commerce, and exchange and transaction. And so in our own lives, we have to ask ourselves, where is my belonging? Where is that tallest building in my life? What is the tallest building in my life? Belonging is feeling a part of something bigger, being a part of something bigger, a place where we can really be ourselves. So that's metric number one. Give yourself a point or zero points, up to you.

• 42:28Jay Shetty?

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• 43:08Jay Shetty?

  credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated, calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy

• 43:52Jay Shetty?

  of the room. Plus, you can shop With Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality. So you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get five percent back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in nineteen eighty.

• 44:37Jay Shetty?

  That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in store or online.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  Second one, learning. This one we've heard time and time again, but it's a core part of it. Those who reported a strong sense of purpose in recent spent a significant amount of time cultivating their passions in everything from biology to art. Further, they did not want for their passions to simply appear one day. They weren't hoping to stumble on something, they were willing to invest and grow and see how something evolved. Now, who in this room is a brilliant reader of graphs and charts? Raise your hands.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  Wow, no one. I can tell everyone's very scared in this room about what's coming next. That's good, because I asked this a couple of weeks ago and everyone put their hands up and then they didn't like what I asked next. So we've realized that everyone in this room is terrible at reading charts and graphs. Great, apart from two people. Where were those two people, actually? Yes, one and... Okay, two, what are your names, sir? Both of you. Tristan and? Kapil, okay, we're relying on Tristan and Kapil because we have no hope for the rest of the room. Okay, great, so I'm going to show you this.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  And what I'm gonna ask you is, I wanna ask you, this is an analysis by MIT of two employees' Twitter networks at the time. They expanded this out to networks in general. And the question I have for you, Kapo and Tristan specifically, is who is more innovative, creative, and impactful inside the organization? Employee A or employee B? Okay, so if you think it's employee B, raise your hands. Make some noise. And if you think it's employee A, make some noise, raise your hands. And now I'm looking at Tristan and Kapo. Tristan and Kapo, what do you believe? B? And Kapo?

• 46:53Speaker 04

  B as well. Okay, great. You're all wrong. B is not the right answer. A, who said A? There were a few people who said A. Well done, all of you said A. You're really good at reading graphs and charts. You can now use that. Employee A is more innovative, creative, and impactful. And I'll tell you why. MIT found that everyone in employee B's Twitter networks, they know people who know people who know them back. So their network is closed. So if you have a new idea and you reach out to the same three friends every time and ask them, "What do you think?" on a WhatsApp thread, on an email chain, or a SMS thread, whatever it may be, and you get answers back, it's you know people who know people who know you.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  That leads to echo chambers. And that's what you see in employee B. It's full of mini echo chambers, where you just have lots and lots of tight spaces of the same people with the same experiences. Everyone's kids go to the same school. Everyone goes to the same college. Everyone had the same life experience. Everyone went on the same summer vacation this year. Everyone wears the same sneakers, right? It's that kind of culture. And it's very easy to get locked into that, especially as you're growing in your careers. And the more successful you get, it gets smaller and smaller and smaller, and everyone's doing the exact same thing. So that was employee B. Employee A knows people who don't know each other. The randomness and the openness of employee A

• 48:21Speaker 04

  is the strength in the learning space. So the question I have for you is, which one of your friends is getting uninvited to dinner? Right? The one that looks like you, talks like you, sounds like you, they need to get out of your life, right? They're out. They're out. They could be your best friend, I don't care. No, I'm joking. But the question is, if you looked, we've always heard the old adage of you're defined by the five people you spend the most time with. Genuinely do that for a second, right? We've heard that so many times. I've rarely met people who've actually sat down and done an audit of the five people they spend the most time with, and actually looked at how many of them bring random ideas? How many of them bring opposing thoughts? How many of them question, challenge,

• 49:06Speaker 04

  and check us on our ideas? And how many of them are exposing us to completely new horizons? So this friend that I recently met, who took me to Bhutan, was one of those friends that I'd never been to this country. I'd always wanted to go. Didn't really have any other friends who'd want to go to something like that, but thankfully, he took me. And it was one of those experiences that I'll never forget, because I learned about a new culture, a new history, a new... It's a new monastic tradition to the one that I lived in. So I got to study a fully different set of monasteries and with monk teachers that I'd never come across before. It was a really beautiful experience and one that expands my ability to learn and see what's fascinating to me. So I really want you to think about that.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Who is it that you can expand in your network? Who is it that's missing? Who is it that you haven't come across yet? How can you make connections that are surprising? Maybe even uncomfortable in the beginning? Or maybe even awkward in the beginning? Where can they come from? So that's learning. Individuality, this one's huge, and I feel everyone in this room may have a strong sense of professional individuality. And the question is, do you get to be your personal individual self as well? Our sense of self is an essential ingredient to our success as a species. But what I mean by that professional versus personal is you may have had to become so many things in order to be successful at work.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  But are those the things you want to be outside of work?

• 50:40Speaker 04

  Are those the same skills and patterns that you want to emulate in the personal part of your life? Because personal individuality is as important, if not more, than that professional individuality. Professional individuality has solved our self-worth professionally, but our self-esteem personally can often conflict with that. I remember a client that I worked with, who is an athlete. His coach would always tell him, his athletic coach, not me. His athletic coach would always tell him, "You fight how you train. You fight how you train."

• 51:21Speaker 04

  And so, he used to think of all moments as times of training. So if he was working with, if he was with his family at a social event, but they were playing a pool game, he would compete, because you fight how you train. So everything became training. His professional expertise spilled over into his personal life, where everything was competitive, because that's what it took to win at all times. Even if that meant beating his nine-year-old son in a game of chess, or whatever it may have been. Where is that professional individuality spilling over into personal individuality? And not allowing us to grow that personal sense of

• 52:05Speaker 04

  expression and individuality that we possess? Two more points. This one's really fascinating, and it's probably one of my favorite ones. Significance. I was on a walk, on a hike, with my wife around two months ago, maybe six weeks ago. And she had her first-ever cookbook launching. So she wrote this beautiful cookbook, and it was coming out around six weeks to two months ago now. And we were on a hike just around that time. And I said to her, I said, "We've been together for 11 years, married for eight." And I said to her, I said, "You know, we've celebrated so many things over these last 11 years,

• 52:50Speaker 04

  but you've never written a cookbook, so I don't know how to celebrate this moment for you." Like, I want, I want to celebrate. You've poured three years of your life into this. You've put so much energy and heart and effort into this. I've seen you, like, for hours, just pour every part of your being and soul into this book. How do I celebrate this? I don't know, and I'd love to know what you'd like. Is it a gift? Is it a... They said, "What is it?" Right? Like, I don't know. And she said to me, she said, "Oh, we just celebrated it last night." I was like, "What? I wasn't invited." I was like, "What do you mean by that?" And I was trying to think, I was like, "What did we do last night? That was like a celebration." I was like, "What do we do?" And she goes... So I said, "What do we do? Like, what are you talking about?" And she said, "Well, last night,

• 53:32Speaker 04

  our friends came over. I cooked my favorite dishes from my book, and they loved it. They really enjoyed it. That felt like a celebration to me. That felt like the perfect way to celebrate, to cook what I love for the people that I love." And I was like, "Wow, thank you." I was relieved. I was like, "I was gonna go and like, throw a big party, or like, invite everyone over. I'm like, 'This is easy. Next time, I got it.'" But it was a really interesting point for me, for how my wife likes to be made to feel significant. I've been with her for 11 years, and I thought I had a pretty good sense of it, and I realized I didn't at all. I was actually pretty far from it. I would never have said that

• 54:13Speaker 04

  if you asked me to make a plan of how to celebrate her book. So the question I want to leave you with is, with the people you love in your life, do you know how they like to experience significance? And for you, do you know how you like to experience significance? Because most of us are that person that says, "Oh, no, I don't need anything. Don't worry about my birthday. It's okay." And then on the day of your birthday, you're like, "Wait, why is no one doing anything? Like, you know, like, what's going on?" A lot of us have created this modesty around celebration as we get older. We're scared to ask for what we want. We're scared to be open about how we want to be made to feel significant for ourselves, by others, and to others.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  But a big part of purpose and meaning is knowing how to make people we love significant. That creates meaning in our lives when we know what's meaningful to them. And how do we make ourselves feel significant? What is it that we truly need to feel a sense of significance in our lives? Don't be shy to at least explore that on your own. At least explore that internally. I know so many people who, after the biggest win of their life, didn't know how to celebrate it. Right? The day after the biggest win of their life, didn't have any clue as to what to do. And they just moved on to the next, and moved on to the next, and moved on to the next. And we all do that, I've done that too.

• 55:38Speaker 04

  And I started to realize at one point that nothing would ever feel like I wanted it to because I didn't know how to experience my own significance and the significance of the people I love. And the final one is service. There's a beautiful study by Amy Wrazniewski and the team at the Yale School of Management. I don't know if I'm allowed to say Yale in this building, but I just did. Her team in 2019 went out to research what they believed was the most difficult job in the world. Have a guess. Any guesses?

• 56:17Speaker 04

  Most difficult job in the world, 2019?

• 56:21Speaker 04

  Parent?

• 56:24Speaker 04

  They were looking for a paid, full-time job, so not parent, although I agree. Teacher?

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Hospice, closer. Uber driver, nurse, closer. President, no.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  Social worker, all very close, all in the right, so.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  Healthcare is the right direction. So, the answer is hospital cleaners. They believed that the most difficult job in the world was to be a hospital cleaner. Remember, this was 2019, pre-pandemic. So you can only imagine how difficult it was post-pandemic, or during the pandemic. So they went and interviewed hospital cleaners. And they sat down with them and asked them, "What do you do?" And the hospital cleaner said, "We clean beds, we clean toilets, we clean plates, we clean up after people use these things, and we clean up after people pass away." It's an intense job. But they described themselves as low-skilled labor, in their own words. They then went and interviewed more cleaners. But these cleaners used different words.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  These cleaners described themselves as healers, as carers, as servers.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  These cleaners, or healers, should I say, got paid the exact same amount as the cleaners. They worked the same hours in the same hospitals and had the same shifts. But somehow, they saw themselves as healers when the others saw themselves as cleaners.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  So they asked the healers, "Why? Why do you call yourself healers?" And they said, "Because we believe that keeping the hospital clean is integral to the healing journey of the patient. We believe that if the toilets are clean and the beds are clean, people feel a sense of dignity in difficult times in their life. We believe that if the hospital rooms are clean, the people's families will spend more time with them in their difficult time. We believe that if the spaces are clean, then overall, it boosts the person's morale and confidence in their healing."

• 58:33Speaker 04

  I think we'd all agree.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  They worked the same jobs, they had the same money, they had the same vacations, everything was the same.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  Amy Vrazniewski and her team coined a word called "job crafting", where they realized that it wasn't what we did, it's how we felt about what we did.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  And this is the biggest key to meaning and purpose.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  How do we feel our work is improving and benefiting the lives of others? And how closely are we connected to that story in a genuine way? When you look up from your phones and look beyond your spreadsheets and look beyond our laptops and look beyond our flight schedules and everything else, when we really reflect on how is our life having a positive impact on the lives of others? How is it creating opportunities for others? Let me really internalize that. Let it not be a statement on the website or a check I write at the end of the year. How is that the core compass of how I navigate my entire world?

• 59:42Speaker 04

  And so I leave you with this. I call it the Bliss Formula for purpose. Joseph Campbell famously said, "Follow your bliss." I've always been struggling to figure out exactly what that meant. But he pointed us in the right direction and I feel a bit closer now. Belonging, learning, individuality, significance, and service. Thank you so much. If this year you're trying to live longer, live happier, live healthier, go and check out my conversation with the world's biggest longevity doctor, Peter Attia, on how to slow down aging and why your emotional health is directly impacting your physical health.

• 1:00:24Speaker 06

  Acknowledge that there is surprisingly little known about the relationship between nutrition and health. And people are going to be shocked to hear that because I think most people think the exact opposite.

• 1:00:34Speaker 07

  Mr. President, my company foreme of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all keep the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:00:51Speaker 08

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing there, that's what.

• 1:00:55Speaker 07

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:00:58Speaker 08

  I'm not the first then.

• 1:00:59Speaker 07

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.