6 Steps to Manage Anxiety When It Feels Like It Is Never Ending

Are you struggling with anxiety? Are you looking for ways to become less anxious? Today, Jay Shetty will share several ways to manage anxiety, why it consumes us and how we can navigate through it. Jay will also share insights on how to consciously choose and amplify the voices and influences that nurture your well-being, how to program your mind with positivity and intentionality before bed and upon waking up - a crucial practice that can pave the way for a restful night and a more focused tomorrow. In this episode, you'll learn: How to not start your day with worry Begin each morning with gratitude Prepare your mind with positive thoughts There is healing in acceptance and tolerance, the essential practices for cultivating inner peace and resilience against life's inevitable ups and downs. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:29 Do You Worry a Lot? 03:38 Avoid Dealing with Your Worries Upon Waking Up 07:31 Start Your Day with Gratitude 11:25 Increase the Voice You Want to Hear 14:49 Program Your Mind Before Going to Bed 18:42 Sometimes, Staying Busy is Healthy 19:48 Practice Acceptance and Tolerance See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have.

• 3:00Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. The biggest mistake we make is we believe that the way we are is who we are and that we won't change. That who we are right now is who we have to be forever. And the truth is, we are simply a set of patterns, a set of systems that can be changed and transformed.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. He won, the only Jay Shetty.

• 3:33Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, where you come to listen, learn, and grow. Remember, we've got over 500 episodes in our library, so if you're looking to grow on a daily basis, check into On Purpose. Today's episode is all about something that I think a lot of us deal with. How many of you have something in the back of your mind that just keeps replaying? Could be a conversation, could be an event, could be a thought. And it just sits there in the back of your mind while you're going about your day, but draining your energy.

• 4:17Jay Shetty?

  How many of you have something similar? In the sense that maybe there's someone in your life that you're worried about. Maybe they're unwell. Maybe they're going through a difficult time. And no matter whether you're at work, whether you're socializing, whether you're with your family, you keep thinking about that person and what they're going through. Hey, maybe you've moved state or country, and you're worried about a parent's health. You're always thinking that when you wake up in the morning, there's a certain level of anxiety or overwhelm of what could have happened to them. And I can empathize with how difficult that may be. Or maybe in the back of your mind, you worry that you're gonna lose your job. Maybe you worry that things aren't gonna work out.

• 5:02Jay Shetty?

  Maybe you worry that things are not going in the right direction. And there's just this underlying feeling you have that just stays there in the background, that's super unnerving, super draining, and really discouraging. Because every time you feel a glimpse of moving forward, this brings you right back. Sometimes we get hit with something that's always just in the back of our mind. Right? And what's really interesting about this is that, like I said, we all have something, and it affects us in the same way. It makes our smile less large.

• 5:46Jay Shetty?

  It makes our moment of joy less pleasant. It makes our moment of escape feel fleeting and ephemeral. And we all deal with this very complex emotion where we're not going through the challenge right now, but we feel like we are every single day. We almost put ourselves through that every single day. And that's why Seneca famously said and wrote, "We suffer twice, once in imagination and once in reality." The visualization of a challenge, the visualization of a moment of pain can often cause more pain if we're not using it as a processing tool.

• 6:31Jay Shetty?

  And when we don't use it as a processing tool, but we use it subconsciously, it keeps us in a state of pain. So what do we do about this? How do we do it? We can't solve it, we can't get away from it. It's just something that exists there. The first thing I'm going to share with you is anything that you worry about, anything that causes you anxiety, don't deal with it first thing in the morning and don't deal with it the last thing at night. When we wake up in the morning, we're barely awakened. We're barely prepared to deal with anything stressful. And that's why when we wake up in the morning and we check our messages frantically,

• 7:14Jay Shetty?

  when we make a call frantically, when we run around and rush around, it creates more anxiety, it compounds that feeling of overwhelm, of stress, of pressure. And when we do something just before we go to bed, we're programming our subconscious to be thinking about it at night. We're programming our subconscious to be attentive and aware of it while we're asleep. So now what we've done is we've depleted our sleep, which has diminished our focus and energy, which is diminishing our intellect and our ability to deal with the situation when we wake up.

• 7:54Jay Shetty?

  We have weakened ourselves so deeply that we don't have the ability to deal with it. So when we wake up in the morning, we want that time to be the time to set a foundation. For you, it may be fifteen minutes, for someone else, it may be an hour. You want your morning moments to be moments that are foundational, that are sustainable, and that are consistent. Maybe you wake up every day and you write a grateful thought in your journal. Studies show that when we have grateful thoughts, we can't have worry-filled thoughts at the same time. So think about that really carefully. If gratitude is renting space in your mind,

• 8:39Jay Shetty?

  worry can't rent the same space. If you're having a thankful thought in your mind, anxiety can't rent the same space. So we want to make sure that our tenant is gratitude. We want to make sure that the person staying in our home is gratitude. And this is a practice that we have to build consciously until it becomes subconscious. Here's what's really interesting about patterns of thought, patterns of behavior. Patterns are people.

• 9:13Jay Shetty?

  We have to recognize that when we were young, we subconsciously absorbed patterns that became our reality. Right? Maybe there were things your parents said. Maybe there were decisions your parents made. Maybe there were ways they operated that defined who you were. And now what we have to do is we have to plant conscious patterns that become our subconscious. The biggest mistake we make is we believe that the way we are is who we are and that we won't change. That who we are right now is who we have to be forever. And if that's who we are forever, then there is no shift. There is no transformation. And the truth is, we are simply a set of patterns,

• 9:56Jay Shetty?

  a set of systems that can be changed and transformed. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says, we have to break the habit of being yourself. He talks about how to lose your mind and create a new one. Right? We think our mind is made up. We think our mind is what it is. But actually, our mind is just made up of patterns. Our mind is just made up of thoughts. Our mind is just made up of subconscious beliefs that can all be reprogrammed. And the two key times of the day that our subconscious beliefs are reprogrammed are first thing in the morning and last thing in the night. Especially that which you do at those two times will program your subconscious.

• 10:40Jay Shetty?

  So we want to start our day with gratitude. We want to start our day with a thankful thought. And for a grateful thought to work, it has to be expressed. It has to be specific and it has to be personalized. When you write something in your journal, you also want to share that with someone. You want to express it to that person. Maybe you're going to write a text message in the morning to that individual and express it. You want it to be specific. Right? A lot of people could say to you, oh, yeah, thanks so much. Thanks for that. But when someone's specific, it touches your heart. If someone said to you, thank you so much for how well you made that presentation at work. It was brilliant. That goes a long way. And then you want it to be personalized.

• 11:24Jay Shetty?

  You want it to feel like it was only about you. We all wanted to feel like you can just say that to everyone else. So expressed, specific and personalized is how gratitude has to be shared. And I think a lot of us these days, we think that a gratitude journalist be grateful to the sky and be grateful to the plants and the moon and whatever else it may be. Being grateful to people is the most reciprocal form of gratitude. Because when you get to share it with someone and see the look in their eyes, when you get to see how it impacts them, it can be transformational. And by the way, the way we receive gratitude is as important. I think a lot of us have trained ourselves to be modest,

• 12:07Jay Shetty?

  to say things like, "Oh, no, it's nothing. It's all good." And when we don't receive gratitude, we also don't get to give that person sharing with us a beautiful moment. I'm so lucky that so many of you come up to me when you see me around, whether, you know, a couple of weeks ago, I was in Austin for South by Southwest. Maybe some of you saw me at Expo West. Maybe some of you saw me in Mexico. And I love that you'll come up to me and you'll tell me how much On Purposes helped you or how much Think Like a Monk or Eight Rules of Love, you've loved reading. And when I hear that, in the beginning, I used to always be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, thank you so much." And, you know, I used to feel that that was the way to deal with it. And I realized that actually being able to say back to you like,

• 12:51Jay Shetty?

  "Thank you so much. I'm so grateful. I really needed that. And by the way, I do need it. It means the world to me. I appreciate it so deeply. I'm humbled by it." But saying that back to you makes it a moment that we can share. And so what I'm trying to say is giving gratitude and reciprocating back with gratitude are both good for the heart. And I think if we start our mornings that way, we focus on and amplify gratitude so much that the pain we're feeling, the stress we're feeling, it's not that it goes away. It's that we have the strength to deal with it. This is the point I want you to take home. It's not about getting rid of pain. It's not about moving on from pain.

• 13:35Jay Shetty?

  It's not about just saying it doesn't exist anymore. It's about having the strength and the courage and the support to deal with it.

• 13:44Jay Shetty?

  Hey guys, it's Jay Shetty here and I couldn't be more excited to share this exciting news. You asked, we delivered. Junie sparkling tea with adaptogens made by my wife and I are now available in all Sprout locations across the country. Junie is the perfect midday pick-me-up. With only one-third of the caffeine found in brewed green tea, it provides a gentle energy boost without the crash. It only has five calories and zero grams of sugar, making it the perfect drink. Plus, it's made with a delicious blend of adaptogens and nootropics that may help boost your metabolism, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain function.

• 14:26Jay Shetty?

  Head over to your local Sprouts or visit sprouts.com to find the closest location near you. So, we talked about the importance of what to do in the morning, but it's equally as important to figure out the evening. When we program our subconscious mind before we go to bed, we have the ability not only to get better rest, but to wake up feeling more energized and ready for the day. So many of us, just before we go to bed, will do something that induces anxiety. Maybe we'll think about or ruminate about this thing that's been on our mind. Maybe we'll watch something that makes us feel anxious. Maybe the last thing we'll say is, "I really hope that doesn't happen," or "I'm really

• 15:11Jay Shetty?

  worried about this." And that's not something you're saying out loud. It might be to your partner or whoever you're talking to, your friend on the phone, but often it's a subconscious idea. Now, it's natural, right? When someone asks you the question, "What's keeping you up at night?", it's probably this thing. The pressure at work, the challenge with your partner, the worry about your parents, right? It's something very real that you can't just say, "I'm not going to think about it." Right? If I say to you, "Don't think about it," that's the worst advice because you're like, "Well, Jay, that's why I'm listening," right? So, what we need to do is we need to recognize that we can't remove the thought.

• 15:53Jay Shetty?

  Often we think our life is about reducing noise, right? Reducing negativity, reducing the thing that's keeping us up. And that's actually really difficult. And what we have to do instead is we have to drown out that noise through something else. So a good example is, let's say your next door neighbour is throwing a party, or the apartment next door is throwing a party, and the music's really loud. Now, when you went over there and knocked on their door and said, hey, can you keep quiet for a second? Like, I'm trying to focus, they didn't do it, they didn't listen. And your persuasive skills didn't really work. Now, you have two choices, you either listen to that music, or you turn on some of your own music.

• 16:36Jay Shetty?

  You turn up your TV, you focus on what you need to do. In the same way, you can't just drown out a thought that's perplexing you. But what you can do is you can increase the voice you wanna hear. So this is where we wanna subconsciously program our mind. I remember when I've been going through health challenges or difficulties, I often had an affirmation before I went to bed that said, I am happy, I am healthy, I am healed. There's something really powerful about the words "I am", because it's an acceptance of something we're already feeling, not "I want", which feels like it's in the distant future. I am happy, I am healthy, I am healing.

• 17:19Jay Shetty?

  I have repeated this affirmation to myself when I've been going through physical or mental health challenges, so that I can remind myself that I'm moving in the right direction. And I have found that the repetition of that affirmation has started to consciously reprogram my mind towards moving and finding progress. Without the repetition of that mantra and affirmation, what ends up happening is I end up stewing, I end up feeling stuck, I end up feeling like nothing's moving in the right direction. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business.

• 18:04Jay Shetty?

  If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 18:50Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache,

• 19:35Jay Shetty?

  Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 20:19Jay Shetty?

  Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. So that's definitely something to look at. What are we doing before we go to bed? A lot of people will say to me, "Jay, I'm experiencing anxiety." And the first thing I'll ask them is, "What did you watch last night?" Now, if you watched one of your favorite shows, I am not against any shows, but I promise you that these shows are designed to create cliffhanger chemicals. And what I mean by that is, because it's all about what's happening in the next episode, what are they going to do? "Oh, my gosh, did you see what happened to them? Oh, will they make it?" Right? That's the reaction the show is trying to create. Now, that makes for great entertainment.

• 21:03Jay Shetty?

  What we don't realize is that our body and mind are going into that mode just before our head hits the pillow. And so now naturally, your body and mind are in a state of anxiety before you go to bed. And so that becomes your natural headspace throughout your sleep, which is then disturbed, and then when you wake up. I have also found it really interesting to program almost the code of how I want to wake up. And the example I always give is, you don't set your alarm the time you wake up. You set the alarm the night before. Right? You program something to ring or have a tone when you wake up in the morning,

• 21:46Jay Shetty?

  but you set it the night before. In the same way, we have to set our programming and code and mindset the night before. I am waking up energized, rejuvenated, and ready for the day. I am waking up with health, vitality, and energy. Right? Having that as your repetitive affirmation before you go to bed gives you a chance again to subconsciously program your mind to make that its code. So... I highly recommend a powerful morning and evening routine that is away from the area that's challenging you. And you may require thirty minutes of time before bed and thirty minutes of time in the morning,

• 22:31Jay Shetty?

  or fifteen minutes before bed is enough, even five minutes. Actually, you know what? I'm gonna make it five. Five minutes before bed and five minutes when you wake up to just journal all your anxieties and all your thoughts to really get them off your mind, to really get them out of your mind and onto the page. I think often we try and fix things and solve things in our mind. And what's really interesting about that is how many times have you had a really amazing reflection or a really amazing realization and you don't even remember it a week later? I've had this happen so many times. If I don't note down amazing ideas, insights, thoughts, they disappear. And we think, oh, I have this idea now, I'll always understand this.

• 23:16Jay Shetty?

  The truth is, it doesn't work like that. So five minutes before bed, five minutes when you wake up, just to journal all of that anxiety, to put it out onto the page, to actually feel that release. I think we often feel it's a weakness to have a release. We think, I've just got to solve it in my head, I've just got to deal with all of it, I've just got to tolerate all of it. And the truth is, you can try that, but it can feel like you start to carry a real weight. And I feel that for a lot of people, we're just carrying a heavy, heavy weight because we keep adding to it, right? It's not that it disappears.

• 23:55Jay Shetty?

  If we don't release it consciously, it subconsciously continues to build and build and build to when we have a really tough moment where we do want to release it. And maybe it comes out at a person we love. Maybe we take it out on someone at work. Maybe we take it out on a friend, right? It does come out, it always comes out, but it may not come out in a healthy way. I think it's really important to recognize that when we have things going on, it's okay to stay busy. I think sometimes being busy gets a hard time, and I understand rightfully so. But when you've got something on your mind and it's bringing you down, sometimes staying busy, staying active,

• 24:38Jay Shetty?

  is really healthy because it allows us to process it in different ways. I find that when I have a busy day, when I have a busy schedule, when I'm moving around, it allows me to make sure that I deal with what I'm struggling with at the right time, but then not let it bleed into the entire day. And that's what I mean by keeping busy. When I say keeping busy, I'm not saying ignore the issue. If we ignore the issue, it will just grow. If we ignore the issue, it will actually get stronger and bigger and come back harder. It's so important that we stay busy by creating times of the day where we do focus on this. I think working out is similar, being physically active.

• 25:22Jay Shetty?

  When you have something on your mind, again, it allows you to release it, release that energy in a different way. Now, a lot of people say something, especially in spiritual circles, this idea of we just have to tolerate it. We just have to accept it. And while there is truth in that, there's a beautiful statement by a amazing part of divinity called Chey Tanya, who says that we should be as tolerant as a tree. Now, what I love about this statement is that a tree is extremely tolerant. It deals with all the seasons. It deals with the cold, it deals with the heat. And all the time, it provides shade to others, it provides fruit to others.

• 26:04Jay Shetty?

  It tolerates that the soil around it may not be great, so the roots grow in a particular way to get its nutrients. We have to be as tolerant as a tree. But the thing is, a tree can't move. So if a tree could move, it probably would. And so if you can move, if you can change, if you can shift, we shouldn't just tolerate and accept. We should learn to tolerate and accept the things we can't change. But the things we can change, we should change. If you're dealing with an issue, it's so important to leave no stone unturned in solving the problem. Often what we do is we go into acceptance before action. But it's the other way around.

• 26:47Jay Shetty?

  If you've taken every action you possibly can, if you've taken every action within your control, if you've taken every action that will help you get out of the situation you're in, and then it doesn't shift, then we can practice acceptance and tolerance. But if you haven't tried everything, if you haven't pushed and questioned and been curious. Right, I often find this when I'm struggling with my health. It's so easy for me to say, you know what? That's it, can't do anything else. And I've realised there's another modality I haven't learned about. There's another guide, there's another teacher, there's another doctor, there's another healing process that I haven't opened my mind to. Please, please, please realise this.

• 27:32Jay Shetty?

  Whatever you're dealing with, first deal with it with action. Before we get into this pseudo-spiritual place of, I accept it, I'm surrendering, we have to take action. Right, the old statement of the universe helps those who help themselves. We have to start with helping ourselves before we expect help from anything else. Start there. I really hope that this episode gives you a sense of courage. I hope that it gives you a sense of comfort. And I hope that it gives you a sense of some really practical tips and insights to solve this challenge for you. I'm rooting for you, I'm always in your corner. Thank you for listening.

• 28:16Jay Shetty?

  If you loved this episode, you will also love my interview with Charles Duhigg on how to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Look, am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making the choice? Because I'm scared of doing the work? Or am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel right yet?

• 28:38Jay Shetty?

  There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more present and self-aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to actually be mindful in your day-to-day life. That's where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness fun and easy. Calm has all sorts of content to help you build positive habits, shift your self-talk, reframe your negative thoughts, and generally feel better in your daily life. So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in the world, along with renowned meditation teachers. You can also check out my seven-minute daily series to help you live more mindfully each and every day.

• 29:22Jay Shetty?

  Right now, listeners of On Purpose get 40% off a subscription to Calm Premium at calm.com/jay. That's C-A-L-M dot com forward slash J-A-Y for 40% off. Calm your mind, change your life.

• 29:38Speaker 01

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• 29:55Speaker 02

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• 30:02Speaker 02

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