3 Ways to Learn to Regulate Your Emotions in Stressful Times & Approaching Disagreements with Respect and Positivity in Your Relationship

Today, I am going to share with you the conversation I had with Hannah Berner where we talk about the life lessons we all need to help us battle our individual life struggles, the reason why there is no set guidelines to dating and falling in love, and how to regulate your emotions when you need it the most. You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:29 How did you become a monk and how has your life changed since then? 05:54 Who was your first crush and what was the experience like? 08:45 What classes do you think are essential to living a fulfilled life? 12:52 Battling with anxiety and going against what your community expects you to do 16:48 Taking different practices from different traditions 19:56 There are no set guidelines when it come to dating and falling in love 24:15 How do you effectively argue with your partner? 29:40 Appreciating who your partner is and loving them unconditionally 31:47 How do you decide on what to share in public and still keep your personal life private? 35:10 How do you monitor social media and still live the best life? 39:22 What is your version of hell? 40:19 Hannah’s seven deadly sins Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:43Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop.

• 1:26Jay Shetty?

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• 2:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised to yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 2:45Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily J is a daily series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress-free life. We dive into a range of topics

• 3:27Jay Shetty?

  and the best part is each episode is only seven minutes long so you can incorporate it into your schedule, no matter how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the On Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year. So I'll be playing a handpicked Daily J during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, I'm sharing an inspiring story that motivates me and hopefully can motivate you too. Of course, if you want to listen to The Daily J every day, you can go subscribe to Calm. So go to calm.com/j for 40% off your membership today.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, you know, obviously Burning in Hell is a mental health comedy podcast and we have a lot of hilarious comedians on, we have a lot of insightful people, but we've never had a man who was a monk. And he's been everywhere and now he's finally, you know, hit the top. He's come to Burning in Hell, he's found the Mecca of mental health. Welcome Jay Shetty to the pod!

• 4:35Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad that I get to be with you today, honestly.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Thank you. You have very good energy.

• 4:41Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Um, because you never know. So I was, I thought I might be intimidated by you. That all, like, he's all-knowing, he's, he's also very famous. There's like a lot of things that could be intimidating, but you kind of, you have a very warm, warm energy.

• 4:55Jay Shetty?

  That means the world to me. That's, that's the best thing I could have had today. So thank you so much.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I'm like, do people just like him because he has blue eyes? Or is he actually, you know, I mean, you are on this book tour and you've sent it to me, The Eight Rules of Love.

• 5:06Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  And you're married.

• 5:09Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Which I kind of love because there's a lot of like dating, you know, people out there and they've like never had a relationship before.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  But I like that your book is not only like your teachings and your research over the years, but you also say a little bit more about yourself. So what I want to bring into this podcast today, because I feel like you have so much amazing knowledge everywhere, is to get to know you a little more, get to know your hell a little bit and that you've been through.

• 5:33Jay Shetty?

  Love it.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Why have I not been asked to become a monk yet? Like, how do you get into the monkship? How did you get in? Because no one's, I'm not on the email list.

• 5:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. You didn't, you didn't get the memo?

• 5:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 5:44Jay Shetty?

  No, you haven't subscribed, yeah.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  No, I didn't swipe up.

• 5:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I know. And, and it's, and for me, it was the same. It was, uh, I met a monk for the first time. His name's Gorongadas. I met him when I was 18 years old.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 5:58Jay Shetty?

  And I met him because you still had to go to events to meet people. Because there was no YouTube, podcasts, you know, it was, it was a while ago. And so I would go to events, I'd love hearing from CEOs and athletes and musicians about their rags to riches stories. And I wasn't fascinated by the rags and the riches. I was fascinated by, well, you're fascinated about here, like people's challenges and their mindset and how they got there. And one night, my friend said to me, hey, we should go and hear this monk speak. And I said to them, I said, well, what am I going to learn from a monk? I'm fascinated by people who've gone from nothing to something, not nothing to nothing. Like, what am I going to learn from this guy? And they said, no, we should go. And I said, okay, I'll only go if we go to a bar afterwards. Like, that was my negotiation tactic.

• 6:43Jay Shetty?

  So to prove how spiritual I am.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:47Jay Shetty?

  That's what I was like as an 18 year old. And my friends were highly convincing. They said, yeah, sure, sure, sure, we'll go to a bar afterwards. And so I went to this event and I went there with very low expectations. I thought I was going to walk in, walk out, we're going to hit up this bar. And I walked there and I found something I wasn't looking for. I wasn't looking for spirituality. I wasn't looking for meditation. I wasn't looking for wellbeing. And the way this monk spoke, he was talking about how serving others with your skills is the purpose of human life. Using your gifts to impact and help other people is what we're meant to do. And I'd never heard that before. So 18 year old me stayed behind, wanted to shake his hand, like meet him. I ended up traveling with him that whole week in London, going to all his events.

• 7:28Jay Shetty?

  Then I spent all my summer vacations and Christmas vacations, traveling to India to live with him in the monastery. And then when I graduated, I lived as a monk for three years. And so it was a very long journey of spending time with this one monk to then spending time with the monks, to then actually living as a monk.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Holy.

• 7:45Jay Shetty?

  Sorry, that's the quick version.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  No, that was, that was beautiful. And where were you in, where were you based when you weren't in India?

• 7:51Jay Shetty?

  Two hours outside of Mumbai. And then we traveled across Europe as well, so we'd live at different.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  And where were you living when you were like with your friends and stuff?

• 7:58Jay Shetty?

  I was, I was in London, so.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  London.

• 8:00Jay Shetty?

  I went to university.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  In London town.

• 8:01Jay Shetty?

  I'm from London.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Oh, very cool.

• 8:03Jay Shetty?

  Born and raised in London, yeah.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Very cool. And I also feel like you've transcended like traditional monkship, what we think it is, which is honestly like not relatable.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  You've, you've put it in this such like, like even your book, like you talk about boys and stuff. And it's the kind of stuff that we, information that we could retain. So you kind of have figured out.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  How to talk about love, but what's, did you, when you're a monk, right?

• 8:30Jay Shetty?

  No, you're not, definitely not.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  So you're like a-

• 8:33Jay Shetty?

  You're celibate.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  You're celibate.

• 8:35Jay Shetty?

  And you don't talk to, well, for me, the opposite sex, but you don't talk to the sex that you're attracted to. So I'm completely living a celibate life. I haven't spoken to a woman for those three years. And the point isn't repression or suppression. The point is to redirect your energy. And I always like to clarify that because a lot of people think that monks think like, oh, women are bad or this and that. It's not that. It's actually a side of, can I dedicate my mind to mastering my mind? Like, can I focus on that?

• 9:04Speaker 01

  We do like really hot showers, so people think we're connected to Satan sometimes, as women.

• 9:09Jay Shetty?

  Right, yeah. Oh, yeah, got it. We did cold showers as monks for that reason. There you go.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  You know, they do say the cold shower thing like gets your mind right, but I'm like, I'm like-

• 9:20Jay Shetty?

  That was the original cold place. Like, we were taking cold showers. Like, that was, that was a normal part of life. And, and yeah, it was just, what I found that I got from that experience is from age 14, which is when I started dating, till age 21, I don't think I ever had a gap between seeing someone or meeting someone or being with someone. Flirting with someone. Like, yeah, your teen years, you're like constantly moving relationship to relationship to relationship. And those three years, and if you think about it, even for yourself, maybe, or anyone who's listening, how many days have you actually spent not in the pursuit of someone or not being pursued by someone in your entire life?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  It's such a drug.

• 9:54Jay Shetty?

  It's, it's very little.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  And it's so mental.

• 9:56Jay Shetty?

  It's so mental.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Because I always say like, I'm a creative genius, as in, I, give me anyone, and in my head, I will make up something that I want, like, put them on any pedestal. Because how, how many crushes like, like, gives you a purpose?

• 10:10Jay Shetty?

  Oh, my gosh. Gives you a purpose. I love that.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I said, like, waking up in the morning is easier when you're like, I hope I run into Jeremy at the cooler, you know?

• 10:19Jay Shetty?

  Well, I ran into, my first crush, I still remember, I was like 11 years old. How old were you when you had your first crush?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Oh, I was the sort of, from a young age.

• 10:27Jay Shetty?

  Cool, yeah. It took me till 11, so I was the late bloomer by, by your standards. But I remember having this crush and every guy in school had a crush on this girl. And I was overweight growing up. I was also- Pretty much one of the only Indians in my whole class. And so I got bullied a lot for both of those things. And so I remember turning up to school late one day. And everyone in the class was laughing at me and pointing and giggling. And I was like, what do they know? And then I got a little slip from one of my friends and I opened it up. When you used to send notes in class, when you can text. And I opened it up and it said, she knows. And I was like, she knows what? And so basically, everyone in class had told the one girl that everyone had a crush on, that only I had a crush on her. And so for the last rest of the day, all the girls stood behind like in the playground in class and were just shouting her like,

• 11:11Jay Shetty?

  you're not in her league. She's out of your league. How did you think you could get it? It was terrible. So that was my first experience.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  That's really traumatizing.

• 11:18Jay Shetty?

  It was very traumatizing. It's very traumatizing. But so it wasn't a drug for me. It was.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:23Jay Shetty?

  It was. It was a bad drug.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  It could. Well, there is a thin line between like the joy it could bring you and the pain.

• 11:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  And I do like in your book that you talk about not only just the joy, but like the joys of being alone, the joys of a breakup.

• 11:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  That there are positives in it. Is your book, how much is it gender based? Like in terms of if you're a woman or a guy reading it?

• 11:44Jay Shetty?

  So I tried to take gender out of it because I really feel that a lot of what we're experiencing today is a complete mixture of experiences. I don't think you could say, well, this is the same experience that all women are having, men are having. Like, I just don't think that's the case anymore. Like I have so many more of my female friends that are like the breadwinners in their relationship now and they're leading the way. Or they're more driven and ambitious than some of their partners. And so.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, the stereotypes are all blurred.

• 12:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, they're all blurred now. And so for me, I was trying to write a book that anyone could pick up in this generation and go, okay, whether I'm looking for love, whether I'm trying to hold on to it, or whether someone just broke up with me and hurt me. This book's gonna help that person.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  What I love about this book, and I think you might have said it on Call Her Daddy.

• 12:26Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  My girl Alex, we love.

• 12:27Jay Shetty?

  Yes, love it.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  Is you were like, there's so much stuff that are not taught to us in school. And it sounds like you almost had whatever education you had and then thought this wasn't enough for me. And then you have gone into your own studies and research and experiences. If you could have a Jay Shetty, like, high school. What classes do you think are essential to living a fulfilled life?

• 12:52Jay Shetty?

  That is such a great question. I love that question.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  Honestly, a little too deep and you don't. But like, I'm trying to challenge you.

• 12:58Jay Shetty?

  We'll make it fun.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm trying to challenge you a little.

• 13:00Jay Shetty?

  First of all.

• 13:02Jay Shetty?

  Most of us should not start a high school, including me. Like, like, first of all, let's just put it out there. Starting a high school or a primary school, sorry, elementary school, as you call it here, is such a deep, important task that no one should just start schools. I think it's highly dangerous. And so even what I'm about to say, it's caveated with the fact that I don't think, even I know enough at this point, to start a school. I think that's unhealthy.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 13:26Jay Shetty?

  Just to put it out there.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  But if you were like in a town hall meeting, like, can we add these classes?

• 13:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is our little JSHD town hall meeting.

• 13:33Jay Shetty?

  First of all, my biggest class would be emotional regulation. That would be the number one class. And the reason I say that, and it comes back to the book of Solitude, is that it said that our heartbeats and our heart rates, they synchronize when we're close to other people. And so first, our caregivers, whether it's your mother, your father, your uncle or your aunt, whoever took care of you, your heartbeat and your heart rate synchronizes with theirs. And so the study says that the best thing for your nervous system is another human being, but the worst thing for your nervous system is another human being.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Okay, that sounds like a pyramid scheme, and I hate that life has done this to us.

• 14:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and so what I find is that your heart rate gets synced up to your partner's, where you're now sharing a mood. And so if you don't know how to self-regulate, if you don't know how to regulate your own emotions, you're just going to become dependent on whoever you're around. And that's why codependency takes off, because we never learn to regulate our own emotions. So that's class number one.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  And if you grew up with a parent who also had trouble, then you could be anxious like they are anxious based on things that are out of your control.

• 14:34Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, and that's class number two. Healing from parents and healing from first loves. Because whether it's your parents, or whether it's the first guy or girl or person you dated, all of those first love experiences completely transform what you want in a relationship. Maybe the first person you dated like made you insecure about how you look. Now, anyone that tells you, "You look good," is like the next attractive human being.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  When that person was projecting their own onto you.

• 14:58Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, exactly. And the person who's being complimentary to you, they may not even deeply like you. They may like you only for that. And so I think unraveling the gifts and gaps, as I put it in the book, that our parents gave us is class number two.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  I like to call it reparenting.

• 15:13Jay Shetty?

  Reparenting, ooh.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, where it's kind of like the voices in your head are those negative things where you can say, mm, actually, how would I want it have spoken to my inner child?

• 15:23Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Um, what's the third class?

• 15:25Jay Shetty?

  Oh, there's, I'm allowed another one?

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:27Jay Shetty?

  All right, okay, class number three. Class number three would have to be.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Do you think meditation should be on it?

• 15:34Jay Shetty?

  I was actually, I would, I would put meditation there. I might add that as a tool in emotional regulation.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Yes, true.

• 15:39Jay Shetty?

  As a tool and a practice.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  True.

• 15:41Jay Shetty?

  I would say.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  That's an after school program.

• 15:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's the extracurricular. You, if you're smart, you get signed up.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:47Jay Shetty?

  The other one that I'd add is, uh, financial mastery and financial training. I just think that no one has any clue about how much they should spend on rent.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:57Jay Shetty?

  Whether you should get a mortgage or not, should you buy a house or not, should, should you save up for one? Do you save or do you invest? What do you invest in? How do you know? Like, I think we have no idea.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Until you're like thirty four and someone goes, why haven't you been putting this into an IRA? And you're like, is that a STD? Like, what is an IRA? So, that, that is so true.

• 16:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  I'm actually, I grew up from a family of teachers, like my grandpa was a gym teacher, my mom was a principal. My, my grandma was a librarian and they, I think about teaching a lot and I just think there's so many holes. Cause I was, um, a people pleaser and I always, I was a perfectionist. I just wanted straight A's. So I wasn't like consuming it.

• 16:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  I was just trying to win the game and then I would forget it.

• 16:36Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  And then I entered life and it didn't matter that I had straight A's. I was battling, you know, my perfectionism, anxiety, depression, performing so that I feel lovable. Look at this, I turned to a therapy session, but that's what it always does. And within yourself, how is your levels of anxiety, depression? Do you deal with a cocktail of them? What is your journey with that been?

• 16:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I feel like I really rebelled growing up against what my parents or what my community wanted me to do. So I kind of started dealing with that early on. So I had the anxiety almost as a young teenager of, my parents wanted me to be good at maths and sciences.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:14Jay Shetty?

  And while I was okay at those, that's not what I wanted to do. What I wanted to do was philosophy, art and design, psychology, economics was definitely a part of that. And so those were the subjects I loved. And so I started rebelling early on, saying, I'm gonna do what I want. And pushing for what you want when you're thirteen, fourteen years old.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 17:31Jay Shetty?

  It kind of creates this really interesting place because now you're on your own. Because now it's like, well, you're the only person doing that. Everyone's kind of following the trend. And so I feel like that was it. But the biggest, when you, when you talk about depression or anxiety, the hardest part where I experienced that was just before I went to become a monk and when I came back. So I experienced it before I went, anxiety, because everyone in my community was telling me, you've been brainwashed. You know, you're, you're wasting your time. No one's ever gonna marry you. You're never gonna make any more money again. Like, imagine everyone in your community and your family, extended family, going at you and just telling you that this is the worst decision of your life. And you've just turned down your job offers and have decided to make this thing. And so there was a lot of anxiety attached to the decision.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  But it takes a real strong, like, inner voice to go against what your, like, you think your parents are gods growing up.

• 18:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  So where did that come from for you to think, I know and they don't know?

• 18:25Jay Shetty?

  I feel my inner voice was so loud since I was 14 that I could not ignore it. Like, it's just been so, and I feel like it's got louder or stayed steady because I've listened to it.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Well, you don't live the kind of life you live, like, following rules.

• 18:37Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Because you have a very unorthodox career. I mean, you're kind of like a superstar in like the, I don't even wanna say spiritual, but it's just like this, the self-help community. How do you, do you ever get like hate from more like traditional monks or spiritual people? Because you are so on the internet and putting your face out there and making money?

• 19:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think there's definitely.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Because you're kind of transcending traditional self-help.

• 19:04Jay Shetty?

  Definitely a perspective around like, you know, are, is this being, you know, watered down? Or is it being put out there in a way? But I think that overall, I find that the people who really know me or, or the people that I've gotten to know deeply, they understand that I love the idea of making things simple, accessible, digestible, relevant. Like, to me, that's how I was taught about this wisdom. And that's what made it so, it has to be demystified.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Well, like, look at me, I have ADHD. I'm not reading a book.

• 19:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  But I will stop at a clip of you where you're looking, you know? And you have the cool font and maybe some good music in the back and it's 15 seconds.

• 19:45Jay Shetty?

  And that's most of us today, right?

• 19:47Speaker 01

  And that's a smart, like, marketing brain of yours.

• 19:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I don't think we should be looking down. It's not like, oh, you're getting the watered down version. Actually, there's this beautiful statement by a writer named Ivan Pavlov where he said that, Well, he wrote this, or he's not a writer, but he wrote this statement that I love. And he said that if you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough. So to me, I'm constantly grappling with ideas going, how do I explain this simply? Like, how can I make this really accessible for myself? Because then I can live it and for others, so they can live it. Like, to me, that's a sign of compassion, like it's empathy. Like, to me, compassion and empathy is like, how can I make this so easy for anyone to understand? Because then I'll be able to live it and change my life, and they'll be able to do the same.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  Well, even in your book, you reference, is it Sanskrit?

• 20:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, Sanskrit, that's right.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  So I've like seen that stuff.

• 20:36Jay Shetty?

  You did read the book, there you go.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  I mean, she skimmed, but like, I loved like when you talked about karma. And like, as someone who loves yoga, like I see these things kind of connecting. What is your current religion?

• 20:49Jay Shetty?

  So I have taken different practices from different traditions that I find fascinating. Overall, I follow a text called the Vedas, which is a universal text, which doesn't have a religion or particular spiritual path aligned to it. It's just speaking universally about practices like meditation and wisdom and knowledge. And so for me, I practice three different forms of meditation, breathwork, visualization, and mantra, which is the repetition of sacred sound. A lot of what I practice is inspired out of India, because that was the tradition I lived in as a monk. And so to me, but I honestly, having said that, you know, I've loved pretty much every spiritual text I've picked up. I tell and read stories from so many different traditions.

• 21:32Jay Shetty?

  I consider myself a practitioner, you know, like a citizen of the world. When it comes to culture and spirituality, because I feel like I can genuinely learn from any path and any tradition.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Well, that's why your book is interesting to me about love, because I feel like you've had so many different cultural experiences. So to write a universal book. Was that hard at all? Because I mean, like, how Americans view sex versus like how like the Middle East view sex, or the Brits, or, you know, the Chinese, who knows? Um, how did you kind of globalize it?

• 22:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so I'm always trying to put ancient wisdom together with modern science. And then pop culture, right? Like, add pop culture on top. So, yeah, that's kind of like my world, and that's me too. Like, I love movies, I love monks, and I love media and marketing. Like, I love all of that. And so I'm just embracing all of those worlds that I live in and putting them all together. And to me, there's such a beautiful synergy and harmony that comes from that. So if something was true 5,000 years ago, and if science proves it today, and if you can see it in mainstream media, then there's chances that it universally exists. And so to me, I'm trying to create things that are timely and timeless.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:40Jay Shetty?

  Because to me, something that's timeless is always timely. So I'm not trying to be so in the now that it's a trend and it won't make sense. I would hope that someone could pick up this book in 10, 20 years, and it would still hold true. Yes, some of the examples of phones and names may change, but the wisdom or the thought behind the book will make sense, because a lot of the ideas are 5,000 years old, but science is proving them today. And so that's kind of like the cocktail that I like to put together.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Ooh, I love a cocktail.

• 23:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Um, are you sober?

• 23:08Jay Shetty?

  I should have said the mocktail.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Are you sober?

• 23:09Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yeah, I'm not, uh, I don't know how everyone defines that word, so I don't drink alcohol. But I only ever was a social drinker or a games drinker. That's how I drank the most.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  Because the Brits, they've...

• 23:21Jay Shetty?

  Me and my friends would play too many... Well, we started, we all started drinking very early. Like, we started drinking at like 13, 14 years old.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:27Jay Shetty?

  And we played a lot of drinking games. Ring of Fire was my personal favorite.

• 23:32Jay Shetty?

  And we just, yeah, we just drank our way to quitting early because it just, yeah, I just got into it so young. But yes, I don't drink anymore.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Do you?

• 23:41Jay Shetty?

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• 24:24Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room.

• 25:06Jay Shetty?

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• 25:37Speaker 01

  Do you have any insights on like hookup culture? A lot of girls are in their twenties and I feel like a lot of people talk about like energies of like a quick hookup versus like you have to wait five dates before you have sex. What's your theory on the exchange of like physicalness in this world currently?

• 25:56Jay Shetty?

  I think it all depends on what you want and what you're looking for. Like to me, if someone's just exploring and enjoying and expressing themselves, that's awesome. If someone's trying to build something serious and wants something to last long term, I think there's a different tactic and a different approach. And ultimately, anything can kind of end up anywhere because of how it evolves and grows. But I think the biggest mistake people make is they think there are set guidelines.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:22Jay Shetty?

  As to how it should be done.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  You see it all over the place.

• 26:25Jay Shetty?

  And it doesn't make sense because, yeah, like you just said, if someone's like, oh, well, don't have sex till date five, or don't have sex till date 20, or don't, you know, I think all those kind of things actually just make you focus on that even more.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:36Jay Shetty?

  And they stop you from focusing on everything else you should be looking.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, if you're putting your energy towards that, are you really being your authentic self?

• 26:42Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Or are you like, have a little checkbook?

• 26:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  And me and you both know, if you just look at a checkbook or a list, that's not authentic love.

• 26:51Jay Shetty?

  Not at all.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  That's not intimacy.

• 26:52Jay Shetty?

  Not at all. And, and I would go on to say this, and again, I'm diving into the science here. If I get too dorky, you can let me know.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 26:58Jay Shetty?

  But it's really interesting. So chemistry that we feel with someone with a spark is described as experiencing stress and excitement at the same time. So it's the excitement of, I just got her number. But the stress is, is she gonna text me? Right? Or the excitement is, oh my God, oh my God, he just text me. The stress is, oh my God, what do I text back? Right? So chemistry is actually us feeling excitement and stress at the same time. Now, when you get to know someone, the stress drops because you've become more comfortable with them. Now we think the excitement's gone, but it hasn't. It just, you become more comfortable with them in a healthy way. So the interesting thing about sex, getting on back to that topic, is that all the studies show that when oxytocin is released during and after sex,

• 27:42Jay Shetty?

  you feel closer, but you're not actually emotionally closer. And the chemical oxytocin also has a temporary memory block, which means if you just had a massive argument about how you don't trust that person, now that that chemical's released.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  You're like, I was being crazy.

• 27:59Jay Shetty?

  You're actually like, they're amazing. I love them. They're the best. So it's really interesting. And that's where I think a lot of these ideas about delaying sex come from. Because if, well, I hope they do. I mean, if they don't, then that would be the only reason is that you don't make as good a decision about someone when you're in that kind of illusion of we're so close. But actually, it's a chemical reaction.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 28:22Jay Shetty?

  So I really looked into this stuff because I was fascinated by like, why do we feel closer? And that's why so many people have makeup sex or breakup sex and then get back together.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 28:30Jay Shetty?

  Because it's this idea of like, oh, no, no, but we are really close. We don't have any problems.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 28:34Jay Shetty?

  There's a temporary memory block going on.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  And I love what you said about like the connection of fear and sometimes getting that combined with like excitement. And then when you lose that fear, you think like, am I not excited about this person anymore?

• 28:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  And, and I learned that like love has so many different meanings. And I like, I'd argue when you ask someone, what does love mean? You'll get tons of different answers based on different people. But I just got married in May. I know you're married. Thank you. And there is that feeling of like comfort that you could never feel

• 29:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  within like the first month or two. But it's a different kind of high of like a stability

• 29:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  and a safeness and understanding that I don't think we talk about a lot.

• 29:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Well, I think if you're looking for chemistry, you should change who you see every month or every day. Like if you just.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  Have you heard the birth control drama?

• 29:27Jay Shetty?

  No, tell me.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  People are saying that birth control, sometimes people get off birth control and be attracted to different men.

• 29:33Jay Shetty?

  Really? I have not heard this.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Because of like

• 29:36Jay Shetty?

  Have you heard this?

• 29:36Speaker 01

  The different hormones.

• 29:38Jay Shetty?

  I'm just.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Because

• 29:39Jay Shetty?

  She's had it, yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Because your hormones changing that your attractions could be different.

• 29:43Jay Shetty?

  So what, so what changes? I'm fascinated.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  I, I, I don't, I don't read full paragraphs.

• 29:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, got it.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  When I get sent. But I'm a skimmer, but it, it is something of the fact that like love and attraction is like scientific in your brain. And it can be hormonal. Or like sometimes when you get pregnant and then you like hate your husband.

• 30:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, a lot of my friends have been to both ways. Yeah, definitely.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  You're like, can you just stop breathing in my direction? What I also liked is you delved into how to like fight well.

• 30:12Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  And I don't think we talk about that ever.

• 30:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we never do.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Fighting is an art form. It's Kung Fu.

• 30:18Jay Shetty?

  It is. Or it's MMA.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Or it's.

• 30:20Jay Shetty?

  Or it's wrestling.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:21Jay Shetty?

  Or it's something.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:23Jay Shetty?

  And not knowing whether you're MMA or whether you're wrestling or whether you're Kung Fu is where the issue comes from.

• 30:29Speaker 01

  I do think in my relationship, once I understood them more and learned not to take things personally.

• 30:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  It really helps because sometimes they'll say something and you're like, you don't even understand me. And then you realize like, oh, that's how, you know, his father spoke to him. That's all he knows. And then you decide, do I want to deal with this?

• 30:48Jay Shetty?

  And he's never had the chance to even reflect on that because he may not be aware, or she may not, or they may not be aware. I think so many of us, if we're, if you've done a bit of work, you can see it. But the problem is when you've done a bit of self-work, you start judging everyone else. And you want to avoid that because it's a really unhealthy way to live.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  You should go to therapy. No, you should go to therapy. Oh, you go to therapy. Well, my therapist told me that.

• 31:11Jay Shetty?

  My therapist told me, it's the new, my dad can beat up your dad. Like in the playground, that's what it was. It's like, my dad would take out your dad.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Look, my therapist knows what's going on.

• 31:21Jay Shetty?

  Literally. But, but John Julie, John and Julie Gottman, who have been married for god knows how many years, but they have an amazing study called the Gottman Institute, which looks at all of this amazing research. And they found that the number one thing that keeps couples together is not date nights, it's not walks on the beach, it's not dinners, it's not movie nights, it's not holidays, it's learning how to fight. And when I saw that, I was like, wow, like, learning how to fight is a skill, it's an art form. And kind of like what you just said about taking things personally. So when me and my wife first started dating and when we got married and when we first argue, I want to talk about it now and figure it out right now. That's the kind of fighter I am, right?

• 32:03Speaker 01

  And men can be very logical, like, well, A plus B equals C. So what are we doing?

• 32:07Jay Shetty?

  Exactly. And I'm very much like that. And I call that in the book venting. It's like, I want to figure it out now and I want to do it right now. My wife is what I call a hider. She wants to go into a room, she wants to like, not talk to me, she wants to think about it, she wants to reflect on it, she wants to figure it out. At the beginning of our relationship, I took that personally. I was like, oh, wait, you don't care as much as I do. Cause I'm standing right here and you're walking out.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  Like, I want to fix it. You're giving up.

• 32:29Jay Shetty?

  Exactly. And then only to realize that that's just how she dealt with it. Because when she came back, sometimes two days later.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  It was a bit of a long wait. 10 years later.

• 32:37Jay Shetty?

  I'm like waiting outside.

• 32:40Jay Shetty?

  But like two days later, when she came back, it's like, I'm like, oh, she was actually in a place to process it. And so what we found is you need two days, I need one hour, like now, we're gonna meet in 12 hours a day. Like, we're gonna meet in the middle and figure it out. And then the third fight style I explained is exploding where it's like, I want to talk about my emotions right now. So you're not trying to fix it, you're not trying to solve it, but you need to be heard. Neither of these is good or bad. It's recognizing that we're all different and we all deal with stress and conflict differently.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:08Jay Shetty?

  And if you saw your partner for just a style, like you were like, that's this.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  That is so smart. I actually, my husband and I once, he like upset me with something. And I said, that upset me, I want you to apologize. And he basically was like, you're overreacting, I'm not apologizing. So we sat there and we just started dying laughing because like we were looking at it based on our styles. Where I was like, you're being stubborn and I'm being triggered. And you're, and we, instead of fighting about, I mean, the actual thing was very stupid. We instead were like, okay, how do we long term fix this? Cause I'm like, I just want to hear you say sorry. And he's like, well, I don't want to admit to something I don't think I did wrong. And the next thing you know, you're like, oh, we are working on this long term relationship. I think relationships are just, do you want to talk to this person for the rest of your life?

• 33:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  And can you navigate that conversation? Which is like what you said, it's not about the fancy extravagant vacations. It's about, are you on the couch and can you tolerate basic conversation with them?

• 34:06Jay Shetty?

  Can you solve problems together and do you want to grow together? I, I read this research that, that kind of goes exactly with what you just said. It was saying that if you want to consider someone a casual friend, you have to spend 40 hours with them. If you want to consider someone a good friend, you have to spend 100 quality hours with them. And if you want to consider someone a great friend or a best friend, you have to spend 200 hours with them of deep time. And so when I think about being with someone, or if you're thinking about having a future with someone, it's like, do I want to spend 200 deep quality hours getting to know this person is a great way of knowing whether there's longevity here.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  And I think nowadays we don't think like that, we're like, if I post him on Instagram. Are the girlies gonna love it? Do we look good aesthetically? And I learned from, I feel like everyone has that one relationship where you're with the person that society tells you you should be with. I always, I have, I'm a stand-up comedian. I joke about Disney and how Disney, like, who we should be attracted to. Like, as a young girl, it's like, there's that one prince on a horse with a stupid hairdo, and he's probably a narcissist, and he takes up all the space in the room. And you're like, that's the one everyone wants me to marry. And then you find that guy, and he makes you feel horrible, and you're unfulfilled, and you're shell yourself, and then you're like, wait, I don't even have anything in common with this man. And just because, you know, so-and-so thinks it's cool you're dating a guy on the football team or something.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  And I think we all have to overcome, it's almost like an ego death with relationships.

• 35:27Jay Shetty?

  100%, so well said.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  How did you realize your wife was the kind of person that you could spend the rest of your life with? Deep, deep question.

• 35:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, deep question.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  She's listening, so don't fuck it up.

• 35:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. So I was attracted to her from the first moment I saw her. So that was easy, that part, that part was already taken care of. If you asked her, she'd be like, eh. She wouldn't, she wasn't, she wasn't the first.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  I feel like guys are pretty black and white with that. Like, they're either like, I wanna be with her.

• 35:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. And then getting to know her, I think, I just found that she just made me laugh. Like, she is hilarious, she's adorable, she's, she does the funniest stuff.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  That makes me so happy that you say that.

• 36:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's like, she, I ask any of my team, and she's like that with everyone. It's not like she's just like that with me. It's like, that's just who she is, and she radiates this, like, pure joy. And anyone who's ever around her, it's almost like, people become friends with me, and they're like, oh, Jay, I really like you. And then they meet my wife, and it's like, who's Jay? That happens every time. Like, that is literally my life.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Everyone's been in a relationship where, like, you're with someone, and you're like, don't say that thing. Where, like, you're, you can tolerate them alone, but then in a circle, you're like, oh, I just think he's tall, but socially, I actually don't like how he deals with people. So to be proud of how your partner exists in the world is huge.

• 36:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, now I'm just jealous of her, because she just steals my friends, like. But no, I think she's very, I think the thing about, I love about my wife the most, is I think she really knows me deeply, and she accepts me for all that I am, all my flaws, all my mistakes. So I feel like I've showed her, as time's gone on, more and more of myself, and I don't feel that I've ever felt judged, criticized, or not been given compassion and grace at any of those points. And I think that that's why I love her, because I know that. Whether we had anything or didn't have anything, I know that she'd be right there.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 37:16Jay Shetty?

  She's been with me since day one as well.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Ooh, so as a monk, there's not a lot of monks who have become famous. And you are putting yourself out there, you're putting all of your teachings and thoughts into the world to be judged. Do you have any, there's so much fame going on nowadays. Do you have any insight of how you deal with the public eye in a like peaceful way?

• 37:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's a great question. And obviously, I always say like, I'm not a monk anymore. So I teach from my practice that I lived as a monk for three years, but now I'm married, I'm a business person. I have, I have a podcast and books and everything else. And so one of the biggest things for me and how I deal with the public eye is I am very open and at the same time, I understand what needs to be kept private and confidential. So I don't believe in living a life where everything's on show and everything's for display. I think there are so many experiences that are more beautiful when they are truly between two people.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 38:17Jay Shetty?

  Or a friend and a family member, whatever it may be. Like, I don't live in a world where everything needs to be out there. At the same time, I love being vulnerable and authentic and open with my community and my audience.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  But certain things could be really tainted in the wrong way when you just do it for attention or the public eye grasps onto it.

• 38:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. And so I, so I, I feel like I try to create that healthy balance between what's truly for me and, and what is it that I want to share. I'm always thinking about what I'm sharing. I'm like, how does this add value to someone's life?

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:47Jay Shetty?

  A vanity shot of me is not going to add value to anyone's life.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 38:51Jay Shetty?

  But, and so I'm always trying to think like, how does this, how does this really impact someone? How, how will this make someone's day better? Like, that's what I think about a lot. And, and I also made peace with it with the idea that there is truth in people's commentary on something and there's also sting.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:08Jay Shetty?

  And, and your job as a content creator, as an author, as a whatever you may be, is to figure that out, is to take the feedback, is to extract the parts that can help you and leave the rest. So it's almost like leave the sting and take the feedback. And so you're almost extracting the poison from the process. And there's a lot of good out there that can help you. There's a lot of even what you'd put as hate that could be very useful. I found, I mean, I'm going very deep here, but, but I think we've been kind of oscillating in a good way between, between deep and silly, which is fine. It's the idea that I find that fame being imperfect and the fact that it comes with a lot of judgment

• 39:49Jay Shetty?

  or criticism is what detaches you from fame, which is what keeps you humble, grounded, and also protects you from your inevitable irrelevance one day. And so I think you can get so attached and fixated to fame, and if fame didn't have those stings, then you'd you'd think fame was the best thing in the world, and you would think that it's the most amazing intoxicating role.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  You would lose touch with reality, which is that you're a human.

• 40:13Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, and I just had, and obviously, what to speak of myself, I just had Kevin Hart on the podcast, and he was talking about this exact thing where like, his fame, he felt he was indestructible at this point, he felt that nothing could get at him, and he was like, fame let him down. Like, it was the same people that were popping bottles.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  And that's when the world's like, oh, you're ready to get shown reality again?

• 40:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and so like, he was saying like, when he was popping, the people that were popping bottles in the club were the same people that turned on him, and so, you know, I think that that to me is, that's why we get these little reminders, and so I take them as a little reminder, fame is imperfect, fame is not the goal of life, it's wonderful, it's great, but it's it isn't everything.

• 40:50Speaker 01

  That's so powerful, because I wanted to hear from your perspective as someone who's like, lived a life that was so anti that, do you have any advice for social media usage also? Because you, both of us, live our lives on social media, we make money from social media, we spread our lies, try to spread laughter and insight.

• 41:08Jay Shetty?

  And wisdom.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  And wisdom, a ton of wisdom. Um, do you, how do you monitor social media and and living?

• 41:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I I think that it's it's really interesting, when you've come from a world like, for three years, I didn't know who the Prime Minister of England was, I didn't know who won the World Cup, and I.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Honestly, it sounds so relaxing.

• 41:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and so I've come for, you know, that was a long time ago, and I left the monastery 10 years ago, but for those three years, I had no access.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  It's like Big Brother, but less drama.

• 41:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's an interesting way of putting it.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  Oh, I want a monk reality TV show, it's just them like this.

• 41:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, just like that the whole time, like, we just don't move, like, you're you're trying to own a midnight, trying to own a midnight to see something, and nothing's changed, like, it's the same. But but but I find that, um, for me, like, social media is something that I have, I have to be very intentional and conscious.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:58Jay Shetty?

  So I always make sure that it's not the first thing I see every morning. So studies show we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per day. Now, if I ask you to control sixty to eighty thousand thoughts, you couldn't. It's impossible. And eighty percent of those are negative and repetitive. Ah! And so, most of us are saying the same negative thing. Like, you look in the mirror in the morning and you go, "I'm ugly." "I don't look great today." Get to lunchtime, you look at your phone, selfie. "Oh, God, I still look the same," right? You're like repeating a thought again and again and again. It's like comfortable. Exactly, and it's relatable and it's familiar. Mm-hmm. And so, what I say to people is make sure that you choose intentionally your first thought of the day and your last thought of the day. You can control two thoughts per day. And so, my first thought of the day, I don't want it to be based on news, negativity, notifications, or noise,

• 42:43Jay Shetty?

  which is what my phone's gonna give me if I pick it up first thing in the morning. Yes. So, even if you can create a seven-minute gap between when you wake up and picking up your phone, a five-minute gap to brush your teeth and like just get to that point of having a shower, like even if you can just do that, Mm-hmm. get there, because I promise you, it's gonna give your time, your mind, time to warm up. And one of the things I often mention is that waking up and looking at a phone is like letting a hundred people walk into your bedroom in the morning before you've got up. You would never let a hundred people walk into your bedroom. Literal nightmare. Literal nightmare. You'd be like, "Wait, I need to do my makeup." You'd be like, "Oh, wait a minute, let me just put on some clothes." You'd be like, "Oh, wait, let me..." whatever. Also, like, I don't wanna know how everyone is doing. Like, I can't take in all that energy. You can't. You just need to get your energy right. But when you pick up your phone, that's what it is.

• 43:27Jay Shetty?

  A hundred people just walked into the bedroom of your mind, and now, you've set yourself up to be reactive to all their needs, all their requests. And so, I find giving yourself that gap. So, for me, one thing is giving myself that gap. Mm-hmm. Uh, the second thing is I consider myself to be fairly present if I'm at lunch or dinner. I, me and, me and my wife had a rule that we set a while ago in the home, uh, which was no technology, uh, homes and no technology times. Uh, sorry, let me say that again. Uh, no technology zones and no technology times. Yeah. So, for example, the dining table and the bedroom are no technology zones. Oh, wow! Because I'd rather eat with you and I'd rather sleep with you. I don't wanna be like, you know, in this in-between. Yes. And then, no technology times. Like, after nine PM, let's not be on our phones.

• 44:11Jay Shetty?

  You know, before we finish our meditation in the morning, which is something we do together, we're not gonna look at our phones. And so, I find that even, and we're not perfect, we break those rules all the time. Like, yes, do I have my phone at? You guys are wild. Oh, yeah, exactly, yeah. Like, ten thirty PM, I'm on my phone, oh my God, later. Sometimes. Yeah. But you know, I'm not saying we follow those rules perfectly, but even having those

• 44:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:31Jay Shetty?

  Just sets better barriers and boundaries. So I, but I think the biggest thing is please create a five to seven minute gap between waking up and looking at your phone because your phone's just gonna bombard you with negativity, noise, notifications and news. And now you start your day on a minus four and your whole day, you're just climbing up the ladder, trying to get back to zero.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:51Jay Shetty?

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• 45:34Jay Shetty?

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• 46:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like immediately getting a punch in the gut that you're kind of doing to yourself because you didn't have to look at the phone. Ooh, I'm talking to myself as I look at my phone. Wait, okay, we're gonna get a little darker. We're gonna play a final game, but I actually, I've added this new question that I think is fun. What is like your version of hell?

• 46:22Jay Shetty?

  Ooh, I think to know that everyone you loved.

• 46:27Jay Shetty?

  Had like a terminal illness. Or like, you know, like everyone, everyone you loved is like to disappear in the same way. Like if everyone of your family was traveling on a plane and then you never saw them again. Like, to me, like, that's the worst thing that could happen because you, you know, even with the, you know, you, yeah, that would be the, that would be hell because.

• 46:47Speaker 01

  I just watched The Last of Us. Is that what it's called? The Last of Us on HBO?

• 46:52Jay Shetty?

  Is that, yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  It's the, oh my God, it's so good. I highly recommend it. It's, it's very apocalyptic, um, fungi. Anyway.

• 47:00Jay Shetty?

  But did you mean more like casually? Hell, I was like, hell's a strong word.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  That was the first time I ever asked this on this pod. It's like a new thing I'm throwing in. It's deep. It's, I mean, yeah, you see what people like immediately go to of like what they value and what they don't want to lose. Time to play the seven deadly sins.

• 47:16Jay Shetty?

  Okay, yes.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  What are you greedy about?

• 47:18Jay Shetty?

  Ooh, what am I greedy about? Uh, I'm gonna ask my team in a second, but what am I greedy about?

• 47:27Speaker 01

  And it could be something physical and it could be something emotional.

• 47:29Jay Shetty?

  Well, greedy, which I've had to work on a lot, is sugar. I love sugar. I'm greedy about good chocolate, like I'm addicted.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 47:36Jay Shetty?

  Before I met my wife, so yeah, chocolates.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  She gets you onto like the dark?

• 47:39Jay Shetty?

  No, my wife's kept me away from the darkness because she's like extremely focused on.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Dark chocolate?

• 47:45Jay Shetty?

  She's kept me away from dark. I know all chocolates, but yeah, probably chocolates.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I looked at her page. I mean, oh, she looks very healthy and knowledgeable. Who are you envious of?

• 47:55Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that is such a good question. Okay, who am I envious of? No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be honest. I'm envious of Cristiano Ronaldo because I think he's amazing. I'm gonna be straight up. I, I, if I could have been a football player, I was never good enough.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  He deals with a lot though.

• 48:09Jay Shetty?

  He does, he does. And that's what you realize, right? Like even the people you look up to the most are dealing with so much. I mean, he, yeah, he, he deals with way too much more, you know, and, and.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  I mean, that's why I came up with the concept of Burning in Hell because I started to meet these people I looked up to.

• 48:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  And then you start to realize everyone's living through their own. I even was thinking like, why did LeBron, like LeBron James, is he that much happier than all of us? And then I realized like. Everyone has the cards they're dealt in their own experience. And he doesn't have some like karmic thing that made him like, his hell is as painful as our hell.

• 48:44Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  It just might be in a mansion.

• 48:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. And the thing with Cristiano Ronaldo is I don't, and I'm obviously I'm half joking. But I think it's, I think he inspires me. And sometimes I look at envy as not that I want what they have or what he has. It's almost like that's what I aspire for.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  And he's great in something.

• 49:02Jay Shetty?

  He inspires me by his mindset. He inspires me by his dedication, like.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  His hair.

• 49:05Jay Shetty?

  I wanna, his hair. I mean, I mean, maybe I could, I could.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  You can make some edits.

• 49:10Jay Shetty?

  No, no, I think my hair's good. But I think, I think for me, it's more like, I aspire in so many ways to carry that spirit for what he does for his love, that I can do that for my love. So that's what I mean by envy in that context.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Did you manifest this life for yourself?

• 49:25Jay Shetty?

  Wow, wow. I would say that when I started, I had no idea that it would ever get to this point and stage.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 49:34Jay Shetty?

  So I would say no.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that.

• 49:35Jay Shetty?

  Because I didn't really ever believe that this many people would care about well-being, mindfulness, meditation, health. So I'm so grateful and humbled every day that I get to live this life.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  I love that because I almost think that if you manifested like, I want to be like, have millions and millions of followers on Instagram, you wouldn't have gotten there. You manifested, I want to fully understand these teachings and be able to teach people.

• 49:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think what I manifested was, I want to do what I love every day. And what I love is learning, teaching, sharing, experimenting and living. And I'm going to find a way to make that relevant, accessible and helpful to people and practical to people.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  And that you love the journey of it.

• 50:11Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  And if you don't love the journey, you're not going to get anywhere.

• 50:13Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Ooh, powerful.

• 50:15Jay Shetty?

  These are great questions.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Oh my God, thank you. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger?

• 50:21Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's a really tough one. Oh gosh, I, I, so I've never been, I grew up in a house where there was a lot of anger. And so I, very early on, was like.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  Triggered by it.

• 50:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm not going to be angry. And even when I met my wife, we were like, we're never going to raise our voices. Even if we argue, even if we fight, it's never abusive, it's never, so anger's like a rare, rare, rare emotion for me, like irritable, yes.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  From a man, that's powerful. I feel like a lot of men.

• 50:47Jay Shetty?

  Well, because my dad scared me when he was angry, right? Like, it's like, if you've seen anger at like its peak and extreme. Yeah, you don't wanna go near that, you know.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:56Jay Shetty?

  So I can't, I really can't, and that's not me being insincere. I just genuinely cannot remember the last time I was angry. Oh, I can. But it wasn't wrath, it wasn't wrath. This is me being slightly half silly again.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:08Jay Shetty?

  When my wife, for my birthday, bought me a tablet that was an Asus, not an iPad. Right? Asus, like, no offence to Asus. But when I said I wanted an iPad, it had to be an iPad, but it was not. It was an Asus.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  So you just threw it across the room?

• 51:26Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, no, that's what I mean. It wasn't wrath. I was so polite. I was like, I was like, you got me an Asus? I was like, really? Like, an Asus? Can you? And she was like, no, but my.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  You're like, are we also Android users now?

• 51:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, she was like, my family told me it's like really good technologically and it's like better.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  You're like, well, your family hates me, so.

• 51:44Jay Shetty?

  And I was like, well, your family doesn't know I wanted an iPad. I honestly can't remember the last time I was angry.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  But that's, it's also, the fact that you meditate every day is probably very helpful.

• 51:54Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Um, cause I joke that a lot of men, whenever they experience anything besides anger, they like, don't know what to do.

• 52:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  So it's nice to have men feeling other emotions.

• 52:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Than just immediately making it like the most masculine.

• 52:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and, and I think doing certain things that can express emotions that are healthy. I mean, I played a lot of rugby growing up and I feel like as a young man, if you did have any anger or frustration, like you had an outlet where it was welcome to be.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:22Jay Shetty?

  Physical. And so like, even today, if it's like, I know a lot of my friends, like, will lift or do tough workouts or will go on a hike or like, something that's challenging is often where you can channel that anger.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:33Jay Shetty?

  And I find like, if you don't channel your anger towards something that's challenging, you take it out on someone you care about.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:39Jay Shetty?

  And I think that's what hurts me the most is that the people that matter to us most get the worst of us. And the people that we say that are first in our lives get the worst of us.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 52:49Jay Shetty?

  And I would never want that to be the case. And I don't wanna live in a world where I just treat my wife with anger and then I'm like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. And I think once you've said something you don't mean, it no, it never goes from someone's memory. It's always there.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:03Jay Shetty?

  And so I just, I kind of take that very seriously, that I don't wanna say something that I don't truly believe.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was a tennis player and I definitely like hitting a ball.

• 53:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Like I would, I would just go to sleep after.

• 53:14Jay Shetty?

  Taking out on the ball. The ball doesn't have feelings.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:17Jay Shetty?

  Just go for it.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Do you have a physical regimen too? Like do you do yoga or you, you run or what do you do for your body?

• 53:22Jay Shetty?

  I've, I've oscillated between a bunch of things. Right now it's hiking every day.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:27Jay Shetty?

  Every single day for about an hour. Uh, it's really beautiful. I love it. It also gives me the sunlight in the morning, gets my circadian rhythm moving.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 53:34Jay Shetty?

  Uh, there's enough of an incline where it's challenging. It's, it's great cardiovascular health.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:39Jay Shetty?

  I played tennis during the pandemic.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 53:41Jay Shetty?

  That was really fun. But I realized when you take up a sport, when you're older, you're good while you're practicing. I didn't play for a year. I am terrible. So I was like, I was like, oh, I could play some tournaments now. And then I didn't play for a year and now I'm like.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  And tennis is so like skill and timing and feel.

• 53:55Jay Shetty?

  But I loved it. So I, I played tennis. I, I've broken, I've been, sometimes I'll be at the gym. Sometimes I'll be hiking. Sometimes I'll be playing tennis. So I'll, I'll mix it up.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  It's good. I mean, I live a similar life to you and where like sometimes you're touring, sometimes you're on the road. So sometimes I have trouble with that like consistency that I used to have as a kid when I was like just training. Um, but it is important to move your body. I'm trying to tell myself that.

• 54:17Jay Shetty?

  It is so important.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Ooh, speaking of, when was the last time you were a sloth? So like had like a real lazy day.

• 54:22Jay Shetty?

  Oh, probably like last weekend.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 54:26Jay Shetty?

  Um, or may, yeah, yeah, maybe a couple of weekends ago.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 54:29Jay Shetty?

  I try and have a sloth, I try to have a sloth evening once a week where I could like order all the food that my wife would never condone.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 54:37Jay Shetty?

  Go all out, uh, when she's not around.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  What's your like guilty pleasure? Like your least monk-like thing about you that people would be surprised to know?

• 54:46Jay Shetty?

  Uh, least monk-like? Probably, I mean, probably like addiction to like fried food, sugar, like chocolate fudge cake with extra chocolate toppings. Like, yeah, it has to be food related because.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:58Jay Shetty?

  I have such a like, yeah, I have such a big sweet tooth. It's like burgers, fries, pizza, pasta with a ton of, yeah, like I had, I used to go to a place here in New York called Terry's.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 55:09Jay Shetty?

  And I invented a shake day. It wasn't named after me or anything cool like that. I just used to go there and I'll be like, I love the usual. And they'd be like, what do you, what do you want? Let me explain it. But I'd get them to grind up a ba- Brownie into their milkshake.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Oh, for that texture.

• 55:22Jay Shetty?

  Ice cream for that texture. And I was like, and I was like, can you grind it just perfect? So I can still taste the brownie pieces like it needs to come off the straw. So it's like, and so that's like, yeah.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're getting like too many emotions with it.

• 55:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I get too into it.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Talk about love.

• 55:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Um, okay, this is the hard one. When was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something?

• 55:42Jay Shetty?

  Oh, my God. I mean, well, every time I talk to my wife, like, so I, it's hard, it's hard.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  This interview is so good, by the way. You're killing it.

• 55:51Jay Shetty?

  The person you love the most is is the person who gets that side of you like.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they know you so easily to like know exactly your triggers or like things that piss you off.

• 56:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I um, I officiated Jen and Ben's wedding last year and I've been asked about it a lot.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:05Jay Shetty?

  That's on my mind. So I officiated this wedding last year.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Jen and Ben, casual.

• 56:08Jay Shetty?

  And um, I was practicing to my wife the day before and she she saw me practice. I had my notes, I, you know, rehearsed it for her and she goes, that's terrible. She was just like, that's really bad. Like, she was like, you gotta change that. And I was like, and I, my whole ego, I was like, do you know who I am? I was like, I was like, I was like, I've been asked, like, don't you realize that? And it was just really interesting because I was like, and then I was like, all right, I didn't obviously, I did, I I said to her, I was like, no, no, no, it's really good. I mean, I talk about this. She was like, no, no, you need to change the whole thing. And it was just really interesting because all my ego wanted to do is defend myself, but then I'm like, but she just wants me to be good tomorrow. That's all she wants. She's being honest with me when no one else would be honest with me.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  True. Everyone else would literally be like, that's the greatest thing I've ever heard, Jay. You're amazing.

• 56:57Jay Shetty?

  Totally. She just wants me to be good tomorrow.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  And she knows what you're capable of.

• 56:59Jay Shetty?

  Exactly. And so I rewrote it and it went really well. And and she was really happy with it. And I think that for me is a perfect example of how every part of me was just defending myself. And I think we do that with our partners with everything. We defend ourselves because we want them to love us.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  Yes, we care so much about what they think.

• 57:16Jay Shetty?

  We care so much about what they think, but we don't realize what they think is love. Like, that is care. Them saying, hey, I think you could be better at this. I think, I know you can do better. I know how great you can be. That is the deepest form of love and care, not someone. pretending that you don't have something in your teeth.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  You're so right. Find the person that tells you there's something in your teeth.

• 57:36Jay Shetty?

  Someone came up to me the other day and told me, I was just about to film. Actually, I was doing an interview last week on my podcast. And my videographer said to me, bro, you've got like cheer seeds all up in your teeth. And I was like, alright, alright, I've got to get them out.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  That's the most LA I've ever heard.

• 57:48Jay Shetty?

  Oh, is that very LA? There you go, I'm so LA. I'm so LA, I'll take it.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  I love it. Okay, final question. What advice would you give to the listeners on how to cope with your hell? When you're going through it, you're in your darkness, whether it's in a relationship, your job. What are some go to things that you like to turn to?

• 58:07Jay Shetty?

  The first thing that I've always said to myself is this only makes the story better. One day, you're going to tell your story, one day you're going to share it. It may just be with a family friend, it may just be, it may be with a child, it may be with a brother, a sister, a parent. And when you tell that story, your hell is what's going to make the story really connect and impact and help people. And so don't lose that part of how amazing this will make your story. People will be able to relate to your hell far more than your heaven. Because your hell is something everyone can connect to, everyone's been there. The second thing I'd say is, what is this telling me I need to develop as a skill? Not what do I need to learn? What's the skill that I need to develop in order to break through this?

• 58:52Jay Shetty?

  Right? Maybe you're holding a blunt sword and you can't cut what's down in front of you. So it's like, okay, let me learn to sharpen the sword. That's the skill I need right now. And I think often when we're struggling, we're like, why is this happening to me? I wish this wasn't happening, rather than going, wait, wait, wait, what skill do I need to learn? Maybe the skill is mindfulness, maybe the skill is resilience, maybe the skill is learning how to fight. And if you focus on learning a skill, now you've got amazing ammunition for the rest of your life. You can pull it out of your toolkit whenever you need it.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 59:20Jay Shetty?

  So I'd say that's the second thing. And the third thing that I say to myself when I'm going through a tough time or walking through hell is

• 59:29Jay Shetty?

  Actually, it's the opposite. Reminding myself when I'm in heaven that hell is just around the corner. And reminding myself in hell that heaven is just around the corner. And both have to work together that when things, I always say to people, when things are bad, work hard. But when things are good, work harder.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 59:45Jay Shetty?

  Because we get so complacent when things are good. And when you get complacent when things are good, the hell feels much worse.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 59:52Jay Shetty?

  And so just, just, just live in this equanimity of, I'm just doing my purpose, whether it's hell or heaven.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Yes, instead of being so extreme with the light and dark. It's like you're existing.

• 1:00:02Jay Shetty?

  I'm existing. I'm, I'm, I know what I'm doing. Whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to wake up and do the same thing anyway. Whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to wake up and meditate. Whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to wake up and work out. Whether it's hell or heaven, I'm going to try and serve and impact people. Because that's what I was born to do anyway.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Woo-hoo! Wow. Jay Shetty just served it up in hell.

• 1:00:23Jay Shetty?

  This was so fun.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  That was amazing. That was, I was like, I want to push him, I want to challenge him. And you knocked everything out of the park. Tell everyone where they can get your book, where they can follow you, where they can see you live. Give me all the tea.

• 1:00:35Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. So if you want to read the book or listen to the audiobook version, which I read out myself.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  Ooh, gorgeous.

• 1:00:41Jay Shetty?

  Eightrulesoflove.com, the number eight, rulesoflove.com. And if you'd like to see me on tour, I'm going on my first world tour ever. Very excited to sit in near you. Head over to jayshettytour.com and you can get tickets for the international tour.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  That is so exciting. Thank you for coming to hell. We'll talk to you guys later. Bye!

• 1:00:58Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:01:08Jay Shetty?

  Imagine the Lord of the Rings if Frodo never had to leave the Shire. How about the Wizard of Oz with no tornado? Or picture Black Panther if T'Challa never had to battle a challenger for the throne? They'd be totally boring, right? That's because every epic journey includes obstacles to overcome, mountains to climb, and magical rings to destroy. Okay, maybe not that, but you get the idea. The next seven minutes are about your story and how struggle makes you stronger. I'm Jay Shetty. Welcome to The Daily Jay. Now, before we embark on this great adventure,

• 1:01:53Jay Shetty?

  let's get centered by taking three deep breaths. Inhaling

• 1:02:01Jay Shetty?

  and exhaling.

• 1:02:05Jay Shetty?

  Arriving

• 1:02:08Jay Shetty?

  and settling.

• 1:02:11Jay Shetty?

  Connecting with this moment.

• 1:02:15Jay Shetty?

  And tuning in.

• 1:02:19Jay Shetty?

  So I'm going to let you in on the world's worst-kept secret. I love the Dark Knight trilogy. I think Christopher Nolan's reboot of the Batman saga is absolutely epic. The characters are incredible, the story rich and engaging. One of the things I love most about Batman, aside from the fact that he gets the coolest gear ever, is that unlike many other superheroes, he wasn't born with special powers. He didn't acquire them as a result of some freak laboratory accident or insect bite. Bruce Wayne is a regular human, just like you and me. He needed to battle those villains,

• 1:03:02Jay Shetty?

  along with his own doubts and fears, in order to become Batman. The point is, there's a reason that we're captivated by the Batman movies and countless other epic tales. It's because they take us on a roller coaster ride. First, the main character is up, then they're down. They win sometimes, but they also lose. Their final victory doesn't come without significant struggle. And it's that wild ride that makes the triumph all the more inspiring. But here's the thing. While we love to read or watch a great story, we're sometimes afraid to live one.

• 1:03:46Jay Shetty?

  We've somehow been trained to believe that only good times are worth living. That happiness and joy are what life is all about. We've made an enemy of so-called bad times. We don't see their value, and so we try to run away from them or erase them from our memories. But tough moments are there to give something to us. If Bruce Wayne had just gone about his regular life, if he'd never risen to the challenges set before him, he would have never become the person he is by the end of the story. He would have never become capable of saving Gotham City. He would have never become a hero.

• 1:04:30Jay Shetty?

  There's a Zen proverb that says, "Obstacles don't block the path, they are the path." I've gone through some really hard times. I'm sure you have too. And when I find myself resisting what's happening, or I start to question why, I have a trick that helps me adjust my mindset. I pause, take a breath, and tell myself, "This only makes the story better." So instead of resisting challenges, think of them as brilliant plot points that make your life richer and you stronger. Maybe even a hero. On that note,

• 1:05:12Jay Shetty?

  let's do a visualization exercise together to provide you with motivation for your journey. Begin by getting a little more comfortable wherever you are, landing in the here and now, and letting distractions fade into the background.

• 1:05:37Jay Shetty?

  Taking a couple energizing breaths and grounding in the present.

• 1:05:48Jay Shetty?

  Feeling your feet on the floor

• 1:05:52Jay Shetty?

  or your seat in the chair.

• 1:05:56Jay Shetty?

  Solid and connected.

• 1:06:04Jay Shetty?

  Now bring to mind a superhero that inspires you.

• 1:06:11Jay Shetty?

  Picture them in your mind's eye.

• 1:06:18Jay Shetty?

  Think about their traits, the heroic qualities that have helped them become who they are.

• 1:06:27Jay Shetty?

  And really connect with that source of inspiration.

• 1:06:37Jay Shetty?

  Now look inside of you and see if you can find any seeds of the heroic.

• 1:06:45Jay Shetty?

  It could be something as simple as feeling the stable power of your feet on the floor.

• 1:06:53Jay Shetty?

  Or maybe a memory of a time you felt courageous.

• 1:06:58Jay Shetty?

  Whatever it is, start to cultivate this quality within yourself.

• 1:07:11Jay Shetty?

  If you're feeling some self-doubt or uncertainty, that's natural. Bruce Wayne didn't become Batman overnight. I just hope you don't give up on the greatness within.

• 1:07:32Jay Shetty?

  And let's open this up. How do you generally view tough times or roadblocks that get in your way?

• 1:07:43Jay Shetty?

  Can you reframe your outlook on challenges?

• 1:07:49Jay Shetty?

  Finally, can you think of your personal story as a hero's journey?

• 1:08:00Jay Shetty?

  I hope you feel inspired by today's message. And if so, make sure to pass it along to an everyday hero that you know. In the words of Superman, "You are much stronger than you think you are." Trust me. I'll see you tomorrow.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, theHouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.