3 Crucial Methods to Increase Work Productivity & How to Unlock Individual Success Through Collaboration

Today, I am talking to Daniel Coyle about how to thrive in a competitive and possibly toxic work environment. Daniel shares his expertise on how to effectively become a part of an organization when you’re a newbie, how to adapt to a high functioning team and still be able to make decisions as an individual, and how to cultivate teamwork both in virtual and real life settings. Daniel Coyle is an American author and journalist known for his work on talent development, learning, and performance. He has written several bestselling books that explore the science of skill acquisition and the secrets of high-performing individuals and groups. Coyle's work has had a significant impact on fields such as education, sports coaching, and personal development, offering valuable insights into the process of acquiring and mastering skills. He has written several bestselling books including The Talent Code, The Culture Code, and The Culture Playbook. You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. Key Takeaways: 00:00 Intro 05:42 Culture is a set of living relationships, moving toward a goal together. 09:23 Safety is the foundation of everything 11:50 Reputational risk status is one of the biggest fears when it comes to joining a new company. 16:23 How can you stay connected to your work team but still able to reshape yourself? 18:18 Daniel explains what flash mentorship and how effective it can be. 21:36 In every conversation, send a signal and then wait and see where it’s going 24:12 How do you manage an exceptionally high performer within a group? 31:23 The value of appreciation and gratitude and feedback in any organization 38:08 Humility is being strong enough to realize that what you see is a tiny part of the equation 40:55 Find the right partner to help cultivate and develop teamwork 43:58 Creating a shared space It’s difficult to to create real connection in the virtual world but creating a shared space is a good workaround 47:49 What was your first job ever? 49:39 Trust is built on doing things together and experiencing the same things 51:12 Daniel on Final Five Episode Resources: Daniel Coyle | Website Daniel Coyle | Twitter Daniel Coyle | Facebook Daniel Coyle | Books Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:30Jay Shetty?

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• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Safety is the foundation of everything. And people think that safety is about swaddling people in cotton and making them feel comfortable, when actually it's all about voice.

• 3:24Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily J is a daily series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress-free life. We dive into a range of topics and the best part is, each episode is only seven minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule, no matter how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the On Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year, so I'll be playing a handpicked Daily J during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, we're discussing your relationship with work and how to be more present, productive, and purposeful.

• 4:09Jay Shetty?

  Of course, if you want to listen to The Daily J every day, you can subscribe to Calm. So go to calm.com/j for 40% off your membership today.

• 4:19Jay Shetty?

  Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, where we dive into your physical, mental, emotional, financial health. And I know that wellbeing is a big priority for all of you. And the wellbeing of the people you work with, the wellbeing of the people that work for you, if you have a team or a company, or you're an entrepreneur, or even your family that you work together with. Culture is at the heart of that. And how we think about the people that we interact with daily, how we understand how to give them feedback, how to connect with them, how to communicate with them more effectively. I mean, if the quality of our life, which we know from Harvard's 75-year study,

• 5:02Jay Shetty?

  that the quality of our life is based on the quality of our relationships, then finding great culture in our relationships is such a key need. I was exposed to the fascinating cultures of monks' lives when I lived as a monk for three years. And I gained so much from that culture that I adopted and have brought into my work. But recently, I came across a book. And I'm always on the lookout for that next book that's going to shift my perspective, change my mind. And I'm a voracious reader. I read a ton. I'm always picking up new books at the airport, at bookstores. My friends are like, Jay, like, when do you get all the time? I'm like, trust me, I just need to dive in and learn what I can and take what I can. And this book, I cannot speak more highly of it

• 5:47Jay Shetty?

  because it has been so clarifying. It has been so beautifully simplifying of what it means to build culture, build teams, communicate effectively, give feedback effectively. And so today's guest is the author of my current favorite book, which is called The Culture Code. He's the New York Times bestselling author. And this book was named Best Business Book of the Year by Bloomberg, Book Pal, and Business Insider. His other books include The Talent Code, which I haven't read yet, which I'm very excited to read, The Little Book of Talent, The Secret Race, Lance Armstrong's War and Hardball.

• 6:29Jay Shetty?

  A season in the projects. He has served as an advisor to many high performing organizations, including the Navy SEALs, Microsoft, Google, and the Cleveland Guardians. His new book is called The Culture Playbook, 60 Highly Effective Actions to Help Your Group Succeed. It's the ultimate handbook for fostering and cultivating a streams strong culture. And we're going to be using that book. Welcome to the show, Daniel Coyle. Daniel, thank you so much for doing this.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me, Jay. It's really fun to be with you.

• 7:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I really appreciated it. I know I was talking about you everywhere. I literally was talking about you on my YouTube channel. I was talking about you on my Instagram. And so when your team reached out, they said, hey, does Jay want to speak to Daniel? I was like, I mean, I don't think there's anyone I want to speak to more right now. So today is basically my opportunity to, for free, which you usually get paid a lot for, for free, ask you questions about your expertise that I can apply inside my company and organization with my team members. And if you're in the audience right now and you're like, Jay, I don't have a company. I'm not an entrepreneur. I don't own my own business. Everything that we talk about will be applicable to you, whether it's within your organization, within your company. It even applies, in my opinion, to your family.

• 7:45Jay Shetty?

  It genuinely applies to your friends and the people that you connect with. So what I'm learning from Daniel and his book is not just the culture code for businesses, but it's a culture code for life. And I want you to see it that way as well. So would you agree with that, Daniel? I wanted to ask you that question off, straight off the bat. Like, I've been using your advice in my personal life as much as my professional life.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  I appreciate that. No, I have too. Actually, writing the book was not any different. You know, we go into it with these ideas about what culture is and how culture is built. You normally think culture is sort of like the personality of a group. Like, it's just sort of who they are. Like, Disney is Disney, and your culture of your group is you. And when you sort of look beneath that, what you find is that it's much more like a sport. It's much more like a skill. It's much more like these, these sort of certain actions. It's not about who you are, it's about what you do. It's about your behaviors. And there's this like language of behaviors that helps people connect, that helps people open up, that helps people figure out where they want to go together. And it, it does feel kind of like a discovery. I have to say, I still feel like I'm, like I'm discovering new things about this, even after having written about it for so long.

• 8:50Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Let's, let's define culture for anyone who's listening. And like you said, like, today we think of culture like music or fashion, and we think of culturally relevant things. But we also think about culture, as you do talk about, as within a team, within a company, within a family, within an organization. What are the key tenets that define a culture? And please define culture for us as well as that.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  It's so interesting. You feel a culture when you walk into a space with people, right? You walk into a locker room, you walk into a kitchen of a restaurant, you walk into a school, and you can feel it. And what are you feeling there? What is that, what is that made of? I would define culture as a set of living relationships moving toward a goal together. And the visual I want you to picture is almost like a flock of birds moving through the sky. Like they're connected, they're connected, they're going around obstacles and they're moving somewhere together. And for that to happen, there have to be these three behaviors happening. There has to be behavior of connection, like we're, we're in, right? We're not spinning off and taking off, we're, we're staying together. We're sharing information so we can be kind of aware of each other, and we're open and transparent about that.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  And we're also know where we're headed. We like have something in the windshield that says, this is where we're headed, this is where we're not headed. So, culture's not like this sort of just this vibe. We always talk about chemistry and magic of groups, right? It feels like magic when we have it. Like, if you were to right now think about the, the best, most cohesive group you've ever been a part of, like, you could close your eyes and you would get a feeling, like that, what it feels like to be with them. And it, it, those are like the peak experiences in life. But when you X-ray those, there are these behaviors underneath them, right? What we feel is that buzz and that champagne bubble feeling of being with people we, we like to solve problems with, we like to work with, and that energy and selflessness you have in a group.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  But those champagne bubbles are caused by a thing. There's a thing underneath there, and that's safety, sharing vulnerability, and a sense of purpose. And those behaviors that build that thing are what's fun to tap into because then you sort of realize, hey, I don't have to just like wait and hope for chemistry to happen. I don't have to just sort of hope that this new team gets along and we do well on our project. I don't just have to hope that when my kids come home from college for Christmas, we have a great time together. There's actually a there there. There's, there's like moves you can make, things you can say and do, and behaviors you can create and spaces you can create that help that happen. So it's a feeling that you end up getting, a feeling of like a little more control

• 11:23Speaker 01

  over the most magical, mysterious part of life, which is those relationships. Like that study said, like it's all, life is all about relationships. It's all about having those peak moments. And if you can tap in to the, the like levers and, and, and tools that are causing those to happen, it's a, it's a really good feeling.

• 11:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, let's talk about that a bit. I think one of the biggest challenges inside a company, a family, a, a group, a team, especially in the beginning, is that everyone comes with their own intentions and their own goals. Right? So someone may be turning up to this job just to pay their bills. That's all they want. They want nothing else to do with anyone or anything else. Another person's coming in because they're saying, well, this is a long-term career for me. I want to make a name for myself. I want to grow. I want to advance. And I want to get some goals at this company. Another person comes in and they go, well, you know what? I'm here because I actually want to learn so that I can extract what I know and then go do my own thing.

• 12:27Jay Shetty?

  Right? So you have all of these different emotions, different intentions, different psychologies in a group. I guess my question is, how do you then start forming culture when everyone's coming for something completely different?

• 12:39Speaker 01

  Safety is the foundation of everything, and people think that safety is about swaddling people in cotton and making them feel comfortable, when actually, it's all about voice. So if your group were to walk in, this group of diverse people that you're talking about, who have diverse purposes in their mind, diverse goals, the first thing you would get them to do is to say, "Tell me about that." Like, "What do you want to do about this?" There's a beautiful design company, IDEO, that you've probably heard of, that has this series of meetings before every team project. They're called "flight meetings." And they say, "Hey, this is like taking a trip. We're gonna have a pre-flight meeting, we're gonna have a mid-flight meeting, we're gonna have a post-flight meeting." And it's a little calisthenic, they do. The meetings don't take long, but that's what they do at that first meeting. Like, what are you in for? What's gonna give you joy out of this? What do you want to learn the most?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  And you create awareness. To go back to that flock of birds, like, you'll bump into each other if you don't know where you're at, and if you don't know where you're headed. And the other big thing that happens in those first meetings is defining that North Star. Like, what are we really all about? Let's come to some consensus. You might be into the learning, you might be into the status, you might be into the exploration and the joy. Let's find some language around, and let's find some way to define what that is, and let's keep defining that. A lot of groups come together and they just sort of automatically say, "Well, our job together is to do a good job." Right? "Our job together is to succeed," whatever that means. But actually, pausing. And this is where I think our work kind of overlaps in an interesting way.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  I think a lot of what you always talk about is awareness. Creating awareness in these moments, and it doesn't happen by accident, it happens when you take an intentional pause. I think what this culture playbook and this cultural skillset in general is really about getting great at pausing as a group. Like, there's all this skill set to pause as an individual. We talk about mindfulness. We talk about all of these habits and rituals and mental calisthenics that give us clarity. Groups are no different. They're also an entity that needs to navigate and connect and figure out what's important and what's not important. And so that pause where you say, okay, what are you, what are you most into? What are you least into? Why are you here? Where are

• 14:49Speaker 01

  we headed? If we can like just get some really simple language around that, that is the first step toward making us cohere and, and start to move together.

• 14:59Jay Shetty?

  What are people's biggest fears when they're starting a new job and then as they progress in the workplace? What are their greatest fears? Have you seen patterns, research, studies that, that show that this is what people struggle with inside organizations the most?

• 15:16Speaker 01

  It's pretty contextual. It would depend on, on the specific one, but I think one very common one is reputational risk, status. You know, I can't afford to look dumb. I can't afford to display weakness, which is why in all good cultures, it's funny, I, I really found this out when I went and visited a Navy SEAL. His name is Dave Cooper. And Dave, um, he's a pretty normal looking guy. He's not the best shot. He's not the best swimmer. He can't bench press the most. He's the great at creating high trust teams. That's what he's really great at. And he actually trained the, the SEAL Team Six that got Bin Laden. And while we're at breakfast, he says these words. He says, you know, the four most important words a leader can say are, I screwed that up. Just really intriguing,

• 16:01Speaker 01

  right? Like Navy SEALs, you should be pretty confident. You should be pretty bulletproof, metaphorically and literally. And yet here he is talking about this profound fallibility. And I think what that sheds a light on is how important sharing vulnerability is, especially if you're in a position of power. Because that gives everyone, especially people new to the organization, a clear sense that, hey, this is good to talk about this. We're here to get better together. We're here to give each other, make each other better and share that feedback and be fallible and be weak. So it's really important to make that, to make that, have that moment happen early on. You know, when groups form, there's, there's like three critical moments when every group forms. Moment one, like the first five minutes

• 16:45Speaker 01

  you're together. It's a big deal. Like, what, how are you going to get along? Is it safe? Do people care? Does everyone have a voice? Second one is the first disagreement. We're gonna disagree at some point, right? We're gonna disagree and the norms we form around that disagreement. Are we disagreeing along task conflict? Which is we're gonna have our ideas are gonna fight and that's a good sort of fight? Or is this personal, right? And the third one is the first moment of learning. What's gonna happen? Are we gonna really stop and point out the fact? We just got a little better. This is really cool. I'm really glad you gave me that feedback to make me better. So those critical moments, and I think in successful groups, they're really good at managing those critical moments, spotlighting them and normalizing them. So it's normal to be safe. It's normal to disagree.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Thank you for disagreeing with me. Let's have our ideas fight it out. And it's great to learn. You just made me better. Thank you. And if you get those moments right, you're investing in the future success of the group in a huge way. And yet our temptation is often to like walk past those moments, right? We are terrible at pausing. Most teams are really good at do, do, do, do, do. Action, action, action, action, action. And the world gives you a lot to do. Like we've never lived on a planet or in an ecosystem that gives you more information and more to do. And so the teams that have got this strength, this strength of pausing, they get great at stopping and saying, what just happened here?

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Are we still connected? How can we connect better? That's where the real power is.

• 18:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. I'm implementing something new in my team right now that I've become a big fan of and we call it, "Teach me how to treat you." So it's people actually saying that, hey, here's how I would love to be treated when I'm coming in a bad mood. Here's how I'd love to be treated when I have a bad idea. Here's how I'd love to be treated when I have a good idea. Here's how I'd love your response to be if we're working virtually. So someone may say, "I don't like lots of messages virtually. I prefer a phone call, right? Than an instant message." Or, "I prefer if I'm, if I am feeling down, I prefer you don't ask me about it and we just continue as business as usual because that's easier for me." And what I like about this is that it

• 19:05Jay Shetty?

  Actually places responsibility on us as individuals to have to explain to others how we work. And that, first of all, if you don't know that, you get an opportunity to figure that out. Second of all, now you're not coming into the workplace worrying why everyone's acting a certain way, because you've actually asked them to be that way. And so now you're free of that pressure of expectation of everyone tiptoeing around you or not knowing or worrying what to do. So it's, I'd love to share that with you and go, do you like that? Do you not like that? What part of it works? What doesn't work? How can we improve that?

• 19:39Speaker 01

  You must have gotten my memo on how to treat me because I love that idea. I think that's a really, really good idea. And you're not the only one to do it. That's one of the fascinating things about this moment we're living in. Lot of change in the landscape, lot of change. And one of the biggest that's causing all these experiments. And so what you're describing, I've heard described as user's guide. You know, just manual to me. I mean, we did a quick start guide with our television sets. Like, why don't we get it with our people that we work with? It's the exact same thing. And it's very powerful because it creates two moments of reflection, as you just described. First moment, you've got to figure out, I'm at my best when? I'm at my worst when? What I need from you is? What I don't need from you is?

• 20:22Speaker 01

  And then that person gets an opportunity to see that and reflect. And so, yeah, that is exactly the kind of pause, I think, that allows a team to navigate together. You know, this landscape is asking us to do groups to do two things that are very difficult right now.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  How do you stay connected and change at the same time? You know, hybrid work, huge change. Social justice questions, big change in questions. New generations coming into the workplace with a new idea of the social contract around work. Huge change. So how do you like stay malleable? You know, where I'm connected, but I'm able to reshape myself, almost like that flock of birds, and navigate together? And I love that. I love that user's manual idea that you have. Teach me how to treat you. That's really, really good.

• 21:10Jay Shetty?

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• 21:53Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Yeah, no, and I love hearing the other language for it,

• 22:38Jay Shetty?

  the user manual or the user guide. I think that's really interesting as well, and I couldn't agree with you more. I think we, I love the idea of the pause that you're saying and filling that pause effectively. And I think one of the biggest things when I pause or I encourage people to pause or I hear from them, I know that a lot of people will be listening right now and say, Jay, Daniel, my workplace is a toxic environment, right? It's a negative environment. I struggle with being there sometimes. I don't look forward to going to work. Or if we're working virtually, I am drained by it, not just by the tech of it, but the actual interactions. What does someone in that scenario, how did they have to,

• 23:21Jay Shetty?

  how can they think or rethink what they're doing or how they can function in that space?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Don't think, just run. If it's that toxic, get out. That would be number one. Number two, there's a saying that I've come to really appreciate, which is that culture is the 15 feet around you. And there's a circle of control and there's a lot of things about our life that we cannot control. There's a lot of things about our jobs in particular that we cannot control. But having positive, healthy, learning, safe interactions with a small group is a doable thing. It is an absolutely doable thing. And one of the exercises we have in the playbook is you have a, you are the center of a circle. And then you sort of track your map around you, putting the initials of people you work with. And the closer they are to you, the more secure and strong that relationship is. And the idea is to kind of map that in

• 24:12Speaker 01

  your mind and identify where those strengths is and identify where you might want to build and grow those relationships by sending signals of safety and connection, by maybe being vulnerable a little bit. So seeking, seeking those things out. And, and the other thing I think that helps those sorts of situations is to put focus on the learning piece a bit. You know, that's, that's the one thing that work can often give us is opportunity access to make us better in some small, meaningful way. And, and trying to seek out those opportunities is another very simple concept that I've seen some cultures do that I talk about in the book too, that's, that's called flash mentoring. It's where, you know, getting a

• 24:55Speaker 01

  mentor is a really big ask. It's a really big deal, these heavy relationships. Well, some groups have solved for that by creating flash mentorships where it's, it's a, it's a smaller ask. You go to someone you admire, even if it is a largely toxic place. Find somebody whose work you admire and say, would you mind if I just like walked you, you walked me through your typical day? Or, or tell me how you prepared for that presentation? Or give me some feedback on this. Smaller, shorter, coffee-sized interactions that are built around learning can be a really effective way to get a little bit more out of that workday.

• 25:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I really like how specific that is. Often when we think about mentorship, we're like, I want you to be my mentor. And it's like this big life decision. And that person may not have time, they may not have the energy, we miss out on the opportunity, as you're saying, to learn something specific in short term that could have an amazing impact. And also, that person could see you apply what they just shared with you. And then with that mini experiment, they go, oh, I'd love to mentor you further, right? So it builds that trust in these mini bites and chunks, rather than someone takes you on, you can't deliver, you have something personal going on. And all of a sudden, they they feel like, well, why am I wasting my time mentoring this individual too? Where that leads me to a really interesting place is

• 26:12Jay Shetty?

  can people impact and shift culture when they're not the boss? When they're not in charge? Is it possible?

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Yes, it is, it is. It's difficult, it's difficult. And the words that I would that I would use are a word that that you just used, which is experiment, being oblique. I've seen people influence culture when they have a bad boss and the boss doesn't want to change by providing that boss with a book that might, you know, sliding in their door. Or creating a conversation, or forgetting the boss and just trying to model and create. What does a great group look like? Let's have a coffee gathering at 10 a.m. every Monday and start talking about creative new ideas. And that initiative, which is born in that idea that culture is the 15 feet around you, that you have control over the signals you send.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  In a larger sense, the idea here is one, it's a really important distinction between the things that are complicated and things that are complex. We often tend to think that that culture is just, if I do the right thing, the right thing will happen. There'll be some linear effect, like if I just had the right thing to cost, right? But that's not actually how it goes. Culture isn't just complicated. Culture is actually complex. Complicated things, there's a way to do it. Like it's it's building an engine of a Ferrari. Like I can give you the diagram and you can follow the diagram and you'll build it. But complex things change every time you do anything. So it's the difference between, you know, building an engine and raising a kid. So Every time you do a little experiment, a little probe in the culture area,

• 27:47Speaker 01

  pay attention to what happens and amplify the good things and kind of ignore the bad things. So if you're building culture is about doing these constant sort of probes and experiments. Let me try, let me try a book, let me flip him a video. Let me show her a conversation that I had recently. Let me try this coffee thing, let me try that. And, and you'll find as you sort of, you'll experiment forward in a direction and like with any experiment, you'll make some discoveries and you'll, and follow that energy and see where it leads. You know, culture is not like Legos. It's not like you can just say, put this thing on that thing and this thing. It's a conversation. You're having a conversation with your group.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  And in every conversation, you send a signal and then you wait and listen and see where it's going and see what you learned and see what you've discovered.

• 28:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, when you're doing that explore and discover, one, one thing that's really interesting is that I believe, you know, inside a healthy organization, you'll have good performers and then exceptionally high performers. How do you go about managing an exceptionally high performer within a group? Because often what happens is high performers are just so productive and effective that they either take on everything themselves or people may struggle to keep up with them or work with them because they can see that this individual is highly independent, highly self motivated. But at the same time, and you see this in sports, when I think about, you know, when I think about soccer, which is my, my favorite sport, having grown up in England.

• 29:17Jay Shetty?

  You look at stars like Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi or these phenomenal talents. Or, and, and then in the U S, people like Tom Brady or LeBron James, right? You have these characters and these personalities. How do you effectively bring them into the world and help people? Because in, in some of those examples, there's a natural respect and admiration for that person because of their almost elite status. But in the workplace, it's not always like that. It's not always as clear cut as, you know, this person's the one who's, who's going to win us the championship.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Right. No, it's interesting and, and that's a great analogy with the world of sport. I mean, there, there are, there are occasionally superstars. The way the world is moving, though, is that I think a lot of times those superstars' reputation exceeds what's actually happening. Our world is so complicated that even with stars, they are inevitably not solo actors. They're not, they're not out there doing it around. There is a connected web of people and information and systems that are supporting them. There's a cool study that Adam Grant referenced in a, in a recent book where they took star surgeons, star surgeons from different hospitals away from their teams and they watched how they performed when they moved to a different hospital.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  And the same thing with traders, great financial traders, and they saw how they performed when they changed firms. When these people lost contact with their system of support, their, their performance went back to average. I think the cultural move here is to, not to celebrate the star, but to illuminate the support, to, to spend time talking about praising in certain cases, illuminating, spotlighting, making mantras around, the collective activity that's producing, who passed the ball to Ronaldo? You know, who, who cleared away the defense so that he had a clear move in? I think that's a much more healthy place to go, especially as our world moves more and more into these, you know, collective spaces.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  You know, lately, we've been seeing all of these films about toxic founders of tech firms, right? WeWork, Theranos, Uber. And the reason that all those tragedies happened was that everybody believed in the myth of the superstar. Everyone believed that Elizabeth Holmes is different. Travis Kalanick is different. You know, Adam Newman is different. And that is not true. Like, there, those people do not exist anymore. There was a time, I'll bet Henry Ford had more in his brain than anybody else, and he was the person you should go to for vision, direction, and he had the answers. But we live in a world that moves way too fast. We move in a world that's way too complex, to go back to that word, to have any single

• 31:59Speaker 01

  person, so if any person comes up and says, "I have all the answers," that is a huge red flag that they definitely don't. As Pete Seeger said, be wary of great leaders, hope for many good, small leaders.

• 32:12Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  I think there's a deep truth in that. And so having a system that celebrates stars is as we move into this area, as we move into our future where things are moving faster than ever, more interconnected than ever, that's a less healthy approach than the team that we have a bunch of stars and everybody's playing a role and is aware and helpful.

• 32:36Jay Shetty?

  That's really useful. I really appreciate that because, yeah, it's an interesting dynamic because I think back to when I was in the workplace and so I worked at Accenture for a few years and, you know, had a really great career there, have a really great relationship with the company and it was a phenomenal time for me. I learned a lot, developed a lot. And I found that there were some leaders that were just exceptional at championing young talent. You know, at other times in organizations, I found that a lot of leaders are intimidated by young talent or condescending towards and they feel like, well, what do you know? You've only been around for two minutes. And I think that balance is really interesting because

• 33:18Jay Shetty?

  as much as you don't want to put too much value on star culture, you don't want to dampen star potential. Because I think that's, I saw so many friends leave organizations when I knew that person was really talented. And I knew that person had so much to offer, but the company wasn't able to understand and dial that in. And that's something that I say to everyone on my team that as much as I want them to have a professional goal and a personal goal they want to learn, but beyond both of those, I want them to have a goal that is about their potential. And I want to be the person to help them fulfill their potential. Like that's always one of the things I say to anyone who joins our company. It's like, I want you to fulfill your potential here. Or even if it's not here, I want you to fulfill your potential. I want to be a part of that.

• 34:01Jay Shetty?

  Because I know that I would have wanted to hear that when I joined an organization and I never really felt that I heard that as clearly. And I found that, you know, for some people it was like, well, if you leave, then we don't, you know, you're no longer connected to us. And if you stay, then you play by our rules. And I think that was always a really, really fascinating thing.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  I was so enlightened. There's certain points where being morally good and being smart crossover and actually are the same thing. And that's a moment where it is. And I see that over and over again. There's a, I do some consulting for the Cleveland Guardians baseball team and Occasionally, one of our assistant coaches will get an opportunity to be a head coach at another team. And there's a bit of a tradition, a habit, a custom, that when that coach gets that interview, the front office sort of circles around that person and helps them. Helps them build their worksheets, helps them build their plan, tells them what suit to wear, gives them contextual information, and sends them on their way. And it's a beautiful thing. You're losing someone, but you are deepening a relationship, and life is long.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  You know, people will circle back around, and you will always have that relationship. And I think that's a very enlightened and wise way to approach that sort of off-boarding moment.

• 35:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think moving forward with that, there's something that I find, which I really loved from your book, and I'm excited to see how the playbook makes this more practical and applicable. And that's what I love about The Culture Code. It really dulls you into the philosophy, and I'm guessing the playbook allows you to really, you know, take action on those ideas, which I think is a brilliant combination. Let's talk about two really interesting things in the workplace. Gratitude and appreciation, and then feedback. And the challenge with gratitude is that it can come across as flattery and cheap words. And the challenge with feedback is that it can come across as criticism or judgment.

• 36:00Jay Shetty?

  Walk us through what you've found as the best ways of showing praise, gratitude, and appreciation, and the best ways of giving feedback inside an organization that actually helps the person digest how you're feeling and what you want them to take away.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a great, I really love that. This idea around appreciation of continually reflecting back someone's impact, and impact ends up being a really, really important word. There's a certain kind of appreciation that happens in good culture that is rarely talked about. It was introduced to me by the people at Pixar who talk about the pleasure of solving hard problems with people you admire. The pleasure of solving hard problems with people you admire. There's a misnomer, sort of this mistaken idea that life in top performing cultures is always happy and positive. That if you were to go work at Pixar, that you'd go to a meeting and every idea would be a brilliant idea and everyone would applaud and then every draft of the movie would be better and better and better than the last.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  In fact, when you go to that place, as well as any other place, it's not that way. There's profound disagreement, there's profound tension. But they're circled up around that problem, shoulder to shoulder, trying to figure out how to make it better. And that, the pleasure of that, the appreciation they have for each other in those moments, is very special. In fact, people will leave cultures and often come back for that feeling. That's a special feeling. But specifically with appreciation, I think we have to go back to that word, impact. When appreciation is bad, it sounds like, sort of attaboy, what a coach would tell a player, attaboy, nice job, good job, way to go. And it's vague, it's generalized, it's not specific to the person.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  When it's good, and I saw an example of this, and I think I wrote about it in the playbook. One example is a weekly impact note. There was a, it's where you, once a week, make the habit of capturing the impact your team has had on the world and on the group, crystallizing it in a very, very specific language and sharing it back to the team. Almost like a little newspaper of the week. Here's the impact we had on the world this week. This health clinic that did it would gather patient feedback and they would say, Nurse Johnson treated me really nicely, really warmly. They would share that back. So that idea of continually reflecting back, which actually connects to the purpose conversation. Because you always end up, I think, using those moments of appreciation as a way to

• 38:23Speaker 01

  spotlight your north star, as kind of a beacon to say, here's what we look like at our best. If we can define that and feel that and name those behaviors and feel those, the better we get at that, the better we're gonna function, the better we're gonna perform. When it comes to feedback, I have a problem with it. The whole word, the whole concept is a little bit off. It's wrong. The idea that someone can watch me work... And get little samples, tiny sample sizes of my work. And then, once every six months, come in and tell me what I'm doing well and what I'm doing poorly. The studies actually show that most feedback is pretty darn inaccurate. It's based, we tend to be biased toward people that resemble us. We tend to be biased toward the most immediate work they've done.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  It, it ends up often creating a bad interaction because you have someone who is not informed and not ready, trying to kind of muscle up to deliver some feedback to somebody underneath them. And it's got all kinds of problems that break apart groups. Good feedback. A, a better way to do it was, was taught to me by a woman named Ellen Van Ust, who teaches leadership at Case Western University. She flips it. Instead of giving someone feedback, you ask them two questions. It's the more differently question. You ask them, what do you think you should do more of? It's a really powerful question, actually, and I'm not trying to tell you anything. I'm just saying it creates a reflection where they have to say, what's had the biggest impact lately? Where have I learned the most? What am I most excited by?

• 39:51Speaker 01

  What, what do you should do more of? And the second question is, what do you think you should do differently? That's, without being aggressive or threatening, that's another one that gets me to ponder where I might want to change my mind. So, creating these kind of safe zones to have the reflection is really what feedback's about. So, I see a lot of groups moving away from the big semi-annual, annual review, where you're going to get the truth, which isn't really the truth, from someone who doesn't really know, and moving toward these coaching conversations where they're continually asking those questions. What's working right now? What are you excited about? What are you worried about right now? Let's talk about that and see, again, it's that conversational nature of culture building

• 40:35Speaker 01

  that is at the core of, it's like, it's like photosynthesis, right? You've got to have these conversations and they'll, they'll grow you.

• 40:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I, I love how you just... You know busted the myth around feedback, right? Like, I think that there's so much emphasis on how to give the perfect feedback or how to give the right feedback. And you do give an amazing example that you, I think extrapolate from both Popovich and school exams and school essays and how feedback is given to students who perform really well in the culture code, which, which I loved, which was that safety, making them feel a part of something bigger. And, and also sharing it with them, knowing that you're saying, I actually know that you can reach this level. Like, I actually believe you can get there. But what you've said right now, I think, is really, really incredible

• 41:25Jay Shetty?

  because you're so right that we think that based on a small sample of observation, we can make a judgment about someone's performance. And the truth is that we don't know their intention. We don't know why they did that. We don't know what they were thinking about. Maybe they were three steps ahead and something else went wrong. Like, we just have no idea. And those questions are really brilliant. I found this, so in, in our organization, what we do is we do a quarterly review, which includes a self-assessment and then a joint manager assessment. And what I find really interesting every time I do that is how wrong I am

• 42:05Jay Shetty?

  and how differently I'm thinking in the sense of often I'm placing more emphasis on something else that seems to be important to me. And I'm not able to see what the person is emphasizing, but that conversation opens it up. So we sit down and we're doing a, you know, they've done their self-assessment. I say, hey, how do you think you've been performing in this area and, and why? And they'll list of all these things that they've done well or things they need to do less of or, or differently. And I'm thinking, wow, I didn't even think about half of those things. Like, how incredible is it that this is giving me an opportunity to even be more grateful and appreciate this person more? And I've, I've found something really interesting.

• 42:47Jay Shetty?

  And obviously this is not verifiable statistically because I'm, I'm, it's anecdotal. For me, I've found that the top performers inside my organization are people who give themselves lower ratings than I give them.

• 43:02Jay Shetty?

  So often I'll be sitting down with some of my best people and in every review, they'll rank themselves lower than I did and I'm sitting there going, I give like, you're amazing, like, you know, you're incredible and they, they are actually looking at more ways to improve and, and I find that so fascinating as a trend that I've seen over time. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients.

• 43:44Jay Shetty?

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• 44:28Jay Shetty?

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• 44:59Speaker 01

  I love that. No, it's very true. It's certainly true in the sports world. You ask, you know, somebody's doing brilliantly, ask Cristiano how he's doing, and he might not say brilliant. So it is, it's a measure of there in these internal narratives that we don't really have access to, these internal standards and an approach of humility. There was a Navy SEAL commander who called it a backbone of humility that's required with leadership. And I love that phrase because humility is really, it's a strength. This is not, humility isn't bending. It's actually being strong enough to realize, I'm actually only seeing a tiny part of the picture here, and I need to learn. I need to be humbly, I need to humbly learn what's happening in this situation.

• 45:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And I think learning why people are making the decisions they are teaches you so much more than the decision they made. And so often in your head, you're telling yourself a story of like, oh, they should have thought about this and they didn't think about this. And as soon as you ask them, you realize they thought about all of that and more than you did. And you're humbled and it's so much easier to be humble in the first place. You know, one of the things that I genuinely struggle with, Daniel, this is a personal question, is this challenge that I currently have in my life where not only am I a host, an author, a coach in my own profession, but at the same time, I'm a CEO and a leader. And the time I spend on cameras and the time I'm with you right

• 46:26Jay Shetty?

  now, or interviewing a guest, or I'm hosting a TV show, or I'm, or whatever it may be, I'm not with my team because I'm doing tasks that are creative and outward facing. And so a lot of CEOs may do a bit of press, but majority of time, they're working on the product with the team, they're in those groups. They don't necessarily live this combined life that a lot of people live today where they're creators, they're talent, they're on camera, but then they also lead teams. And I genuinely believe that my life is going to be an experiment in figuring out how to do this because I find that naturally when I'm doing more of one of them, it takes away from the time I get to do the other. And

• 47:08Jay Shetty?

  both are integral to the work I do. So have you found any great stories or case studies of how people have created not balance, because I don't think it's about equality. I think it's about creating the right practices and systems that allow you to operate in both worlds?

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Right. Couple of things I've observed. One is that when you look at any single When you think there's a single leader, you're often wrong. There's often, there's often this pairing thing that happens. When you, if you look at Pixar, it's Ed Catmull and John Lasseter. When you look at the San Antonio Spurs, it's R.C. Buford and Greg Popovich. And so finding this unique soulmate partner who really has a different domain interest than you to make it work, it, it is, as you say, like physics is going to stop you at some point. Right? I mean, there's only so many hours and only so much energy and you've got a lot of priorities to do. So finding that partner and cultivating, searching and developing that teamwork around

• 48:07Speaker 01

  that, I think, is incredibly powerful. And the other thing is, I think always trying, when you do have that fork in the road where you need to decide between should I be productive or should I focus on my people? To bias toward your people. To, when you have that, if it feels like a coin flip, go toward the people. It was on a, on a call that involved General Mattis, who used to head up all of NATO's forces. And someone asked him how he spent his day. And he said, I spent about forty-five minutes on, on NATO strategy and I spent the rest of the time coaching my leaders. The rest of the time was coaching my leaders. Like eight-ninths of my day was coaching my leaders. And those conversations end up feeling inefficient at the time.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  They feel like you're, oh my God, I am not doing the important stuff. But in fact, that's an illusion. You are doing the important stuff because you're investing in creating clarity, a landscape, a connection that you guys can navigate it together. So those are the two things that come to mind as you, as you mentioned that.

• 49:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I see myself moving in that direction of wanting to, you know, I, I constantly want to be spending more time with my leaders and my teams. Like that's, that's all I want to be doing. And I completely see the value in that. And I'm learning how to, how to carve that time out because. They also need support and help and, and you know, everything else that comes with it. It's not kind of like an outsourced delegation job, which, which is not my style anyway. But, but I noticed that that they need that support from me. Uh, you've talked about having icebreakers or conversation starters for meetings. And I love that idea because to me, like, I'm one of, you know, I, I come from the world of like meditation and pause and stillness. So for me, a reflection question is like one of my favorite things.

• 49:56Jay Shetty?

  And I have this restaurant in here in L A that I love to go to called Cafe Gratitude because they always have a question of the day when you go there. And, and they'll give you the question of the day as a table. And then, you know, anyone, even anyone who's not used, usually into this kind of stuff is like, oh yeah, maybe that's, that's a really cool idea, right? So what are some of the ones, those five minute warmups before meetings that help the quality of the meeting itself? What are some of your favorite ones or examples you've seen work really well?

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, this hybrid thing, it's weird, right? I mean, it, it's, you're creating this new space. And as somebody pointed out, is a man named Glenn Fajardo, who wrote a book on virtual rituals. He's from the Stanford Design School. Good, interesting, really interesting book. But the insight he has is virtual is voluntary. Like if we're actually in a room together, I, you kind of have to pay attention to me. I kind of have to pay attention to you. But to be virtual, you actually have to create this, this shared space. And this is a, this is a weird connection, but I was, this weekend I, I did one of Tony Robbins' virtual events. I gave a short presentation at one, like for 40 minutes beforehand, what were they doing? They weren't talking about ideas. They were playing really loud music and basically doing yoga and dancing.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Like they were creating this shared state. Not saying that everyone has to do that, but in this sort of hybrid world, to take a minute and, and try to create some shared space. And some of the ideas for doing that are. You know, playing music are having everybody like bite a lemon at the same moment. Eating on camera turns out to be weirdly effective. It's like breaking bread together is one of the more sort of powerful things that people do together. And it feels very strange to eat on camera at first, but as you sort of get used to it, that can be also sort of a very simple, powerful thing to do. But whatever you do, whether it's, you know, a little guessing game where you play a song and guess whose favorite song it is, whatever that might be.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Just think about creating that shared space in a way that doesn't have to do with the work you're doing. In a way that just deals with the person, the people you are at this moment. All that said, it is really hard to form real relationships online. You, you, the, the smart groups right now and the smart money is in toggling, in having people, if they are hybrid, having times where they're, they're flying and getting together for a short amount of time where it's maybe half fun and half work. But having that time and not saying, we're going to live completely in the virtual world. Because that physical connection acts like a booster shot. Like, like now I, now I really know you and now we can really work together.

• 52:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. And, and I'm glad you clarified that because I think a lot of this stuff is possible virtually, even though we know that it's better physically, but it is possible to do these small games and ideas virtually. And that does form a better connection. I know one of the things I was mentioning to people is, you know, I do feel we get such an intimacy by being in people's homes right now, right? And we have for quite a while now. But one of the things I would do is I'd, I'd always say to a lot of people, hey, I'm not being creepy. I'm just being curious. I want to know what's in your background. Like, what's that a picture of or what's that behind you? And I found that that just opened up such a natural story from them and a natural question.

• 53:12Jay Shetty?

  So I remember, uh, one of my clients had a paintbrush hanging on his wall. And I was just like, why do you have a paintbrush on your wall? And he started laughing and he goes, no one ever asks me. And I was like, well, I'm asking you. So I want to know, I'm, I'm being curious, not creepy. And he said, you know what? My first ever job was that I used to paint fences. And then I used to paint walls and he goes, then I finally got to paint homes and it was like a summer job. And now he's a big executive of a large company. And he was like, I, I keep that there to remind me of where I started. And, and I love that story. Then I started telling him about how my first job was that I was a paper delivery boy, right? I used to go around be a paper boy in my area. And all of a sudden we were talking about first jobs and I thought, wow, this is a really cool question to ask people because it,

• 53:55Jay Shetty?

  it shares so much about their history and where they started. And so that became one of my favorite questions to ask people is like, what was your first job ever? So I'm going to ask you, Daniel, what was your, what was your first job ever?

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I was a, I was a greeter in a hospital. I was, I was like, I, at the time I wanted to be a doctor and so I stood by the door and kind of, I wheeled people in and wheeled them out and, and you know, new babies and pregnant women to wheel them in and wheel out a new baby. It was, it was both really fun. It, it really gave you a, everybody comes to the hospital, right? You know, you, however, you know, small your, big your world is, you see everybody coming. And so that sort of interaction, I think sparked something in me as a, as a journalist and made me know that I never wanted to be a doctor.

• 54:37Jay Shetty?

  What was, what do you think was the biggest lesson you learned from that? Like, was there a, was there a takeaway or an insight that you feel really planted a seed in you that stayed with you?

• 54:46Speaker 01

  I think banter is underrated. Like, I, I think it really, the power of banter, the power of like, just having a little light touch and being able to chat people up is one of the strongest powers in the universe. And, and I think that really showed me that because, you know, you're taking people and some of them are in pain and some of them are scared. And, and those little interactions can have a big impact on, on the space.

• 55:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What would have been, I mean, bantering at organization is, you know, I feel like it's at an interesting time because everyone's sensitivities have changed. Everyone's like, you know, barriers and boundaries have changed as well, uh, for good reasons. And, and also some of them, you know, for, for personal reasons, which of course has to be respected and understood. And it's, it can be quite hard to build a banter based culture. I know that when people see me and my wife talking, because we're both from London, the word banter for us is, is literally how, how our life functions. And people see me and my wife in this, and sometimes be like, are you guys okay? Like, you know, is everything okay? And we're just like, no, this is banter. Like this is how, how we're playful with each other.

• 55:51Jay Shetty?

  You know, often banter can be misconstrued. How do you build the trust? First, in order to be able to have banter, like what? Because I feel sometimes we do it the other way around. We think banter builds trust, but often I don't think that's true anymore. I think trust allows you to have banter.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. Invulnerability allows you to have trust. And I think the fastest way to sort of build that is to do things together. You know, there, there, there's nothing like actually doing something in the real world that will, that will create that trust. And there's nothing, and to do it away from where you're not capturing it in words. I think one of the reasons that we're so divided and it's such a difficult time is that we're relying on, on, on people reading. And, and, and reading is a terrible way to get to know someone. Reading someone's comments, these words, they form in their head and they type them out and then you read them and form some idea in your head. It's absolutely a terrible way to get to know someone. So doing something in real life is, is by far the most sort of powerful thing that you can do.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Whatever, as, as big or as small as that may be. And also the power of story in this situation, like, you know, the story you just shared about your friend with the painter, the story I just shared, being comfortable enough. And that's where those icebreakers, I think, come in because they, they start at a safe place where they're going back to what was your favorite meal growing up? They, they, they started a place where we're free of kind of the larger political forces that we're, that we're navigating right now. And you start from there and then, and then build up.

• 57:21Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Daniel, you've been so generous with your time and so many great insights and advice. And at the end of every On Purpose episode, we do a final five. This is a fast five round, which means that every answer has to be given in one word or one sentence maximum. So you have that little bit of room to play with. So Daniel Coyle, these are your final five. Are you ready?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Ready, bring it.

• 57:44Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. All right. So the first question is, what's the best advice you ever heard or received?

• 57:50Speaker 01

  Look twice, always look twice.

• 57:53Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I like that. We've never had that on the show before. Really, really like that. Second question, what's the worst advice you've ever received or heard?

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Trust your first instincts.

• 58:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, there we go. I like that. I like that's that's so. Let's let's dive into that a little bit because I think people have a belief that like your first impression is always right. Your first instinct is always right. Why do you think that's such bad advice?

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Well, it's it's not true. You know, when they look at when you when you do studies of whether it's exams or anything, Adam Grant wrote a great book called Think Again, all about this moment. But it were built to to do were built to crave that certainty, right? And and that certainty was useful for all of history until sort of recently. And now that that that certainty is what is often dividing us and often causing us to make bad decisions. So being able to zoom out, like that ability to me, we've got, you almost think of it, you've got these two brains inside your brain. One likes to really grasp things. The other is able to zoom out.

• 58:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  And so realizing, wait a minute, am I using this narrow spotlight right now? Or am I looking through my peripheral vision at more? And gaining control over that is is a really powerful thing because it causes you to look twice.

• 59:04Jay Shetty?

  Yep. Third question is, what is your current purpose? How would you define your current purpose?

• 59:12Speaker 01

  Teaching culture. That's that's, you know, teaching the fundamentals, teaching the fundamentals of culture. This is how this is how it works. This is how that language works.

• 59:20Jay Shetty?

  Uh, question number four is, what trait of culture or leadership are you currently fascinated by that you're currently learning about that you haven't yet fully grasped?

• 59:30Speaker 01

  I think power of group reflection, creating these spaces where groups can actually think together.

• 59:35Jay Shetty?

  Right. Yeah, I don't think we've figured that out yet. I agree.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  It's crazy because we're hired as individuals. We we train in schools as individuals. We're assessed as individuals. We think of ourselves as individuals. And yet, all the big things in life happen because of groups and groups scale. And we put no energy or attention to figure out what what's that? What's that at its best?

• 59:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. All right. Fifth and final question is, if you could create one law or one habit that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Be nice.

• 1:00:05Jay Shetty?

  Simple, easy.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, really simple, really simple. You have to be nice.

• 1:00:09Jay Shetty?

  How do you define nice? How do you define nice?

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  I'll I'll edit myself. I'll say be kind. It's it's, you know, an action with consideration of the other. Uh, kindness is a behavior. It's not just a thought. So to actually bring that to life.

• 1:00:23Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Everyone, this is Daniel Coyle. The book is The Culture Playbook, 60 Highly Effective Actions to Help Your Group Succeed. Highly recommend you get the Culture Code and the Culture Playbook. I know I'm going to be ordering the Culture Playbook straight away, so make sure you do that as well. It's just brilliant to understand Daniel's ideas and the research and the studies that he shares inside the book, but then to have these 60 highly effective actions to help you actually take action and apply on those. I mean, you couldn't find a better combination, to be honest. So I really hope you're going to go and grab both copies. We'll put the links into the podcast section. Daniel, any last words, any last thoughts? You've been incredible. I'm so grateful to get to

• 1:01:04Jay Shetty?

  meet you. I'm excited to develop our connection and relationship more as well. But any final words or final thoughts you want to share?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Me too. Thanks for having me. You're very good at what you do. I think you model the sort of connective sensitivity, insight and curiosity that good culture is made of. So thanks for letting me be a part of it.

• 1:01:21Jay Shetty?

  Thank you. That means a lot. Yeah, no, a lot of the questions today were for me. A lot of them were things that I'm fascinated by, and I left everything else in the book. There are so many amazing insights in the book that I didn't even dive into today, everyone, because I want you to read the book. It's brilliant. So Daniel, thank you so much again. Have a great, great day, and I really appreciate meeting you. Thank you so much.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  Same here, Jay. Look forward to next time.

• 1:01:53Jay Shetty?

  We all know that fame is not the same as success, and yet, society makes it so easy to slip into thinking there's no difference between the two. So today, I want to bring it back to what really matters: doing good work, making an impact, feeling fulfilled. The next seven minutes are about your aims in life and how to live with purpose. I'm Jay Shetty. Welcome to The Daily Jay. Let's begin by giving attention to our breath and getting centered, inhaling deeply in and slowly letting it out.

• 1:02:43Jay Shetty?

  Feeling your body reach towards the sky

• 1:02:49Jay Shetty?

  and fall lightly back to earth.

• 1:02:56Jay Shetty?

  Drawing energy from the air

• 1:03:01Jay Shetty?

  and releasing tension.

• 1:03:07Jay Shetty?

  Now let me ask you, have you ever heard the song California Dreamin' by the Mamas and the Papas? How about Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys? Or I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher? I would sing them for you, but I want you to keep listening. Seriously though, if you've ever heard any of these three songs, then you're familiar with the work of a legendary group of studio musicians known as the Wrecking Crew. Studio musicians are contractors who play instruments on albums by other artists. They're often exceptionally skilled, and the members of the Wrecking Crew were as good as it gets.

• 1:03:49Jay Shetty?

  They recorded hundreds of top forty hits in the sixties and seventies, playing with all kinds of bands: The Monkees, The Byrds, Frank and Nancy Sinatra. Their impact on popular music is hard to fathom. However, their work went largely unnoticed by the public. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that before today, you probably hadn't heard of them, and here's why. Our society venerates the frontman, we celebrate the rock god, the CEO, the MVP. We idolize famous individuals so much,

• 1:04:32Jay Shetty?

  we might believe that real success equals stardom, that our effort is meaningless without public recognition.

• 1:04:42Jay Shetty?

  But that couldn't be further from the truth. Celebrity is not a prerequisite for impact, nor is it a necessary ingredient for happiness, purpose, or fulfillment. Not to say there's anything wrong with fame. It can be quite useful when channeled responsibly, and it can come as a natural byproduct of creating something meaningful or memorable. But it's much more important to focus on doing your best work and acknowledging the payoff that comes from within. You should take pleasure from knowing that you're doing well rather than having other people think you are.

• 1:05:24Jay Shetty?

  Now, I'm not saying you don't deserve to be appreciated for your efforts. The wrecking crew may not have been a household name, but in the recording industry, they were held in high regard and were compensated well for their services. What I'm saying is that there's no shame in playing a supporting role, if that's what you enjoy or that's where you end up. In the documentary 20 Feet from Stardom, accomplished backup singer Lisa Fisher says, "I reject the notion that the job you excel at is somehow not enough to aspire to." So I'm giving you permission right here, right now,

• 1:06:08Jay Shetty?

  to celebrate your integral role, whether it's in the spotlight or not. Because you don't have to be a superstar to do good work, to make a difference, to feel fulfilled, and to live a life of purpose. And now, let's meditate on that. Start by getting a little more comfortable wherever you are, tuning into yourself, and tuning into this moment. For the next two minutes, see if you can let go of judgment and analysis, allowing yourself to sink in.

• 1:06:59Jay Shetty?

  Today, we're gonna connect with some words of acceptance and compassion

• 1:07:08Jay Shetty?

  towards yourself and others. You can repeat them silently, or just take them in.

• 1:07:18Jay Shetty?

  All I need to do is love myself well. This will be enough.

• 1:07:31Jay Shetty?

  All I need to do is love others well. This will be enough.

• 1:07:44Jay Shetty?

  All I need to do is love my life well.

• 1:07:50Jay Shetty?

  This will be enough.

• 1:07:57Jay Shetty?

  Let that marinate a bit.

• 1:08:02Jay Shetty?

  All I need to do is love myself well. This will be enough.

• 1:08:13Jay Shetty?

  All I need to do is love others well. This will be enough.

• 1:08:24Jay Shetty?

  All I need to do is love my life well. This will be enough.

• 1:08:35Jay Shetty?

  And now, let's open this up.

• 1:08:39Jay Shetty?

  I'd like you to reflect on what success means to you, and whether your definition could use a little tweak.

• 1:08:52Jay Shetty?

  How are you currently making an impact?

• 1:08:58Jay Shetty?

  How are you moving in the direction of a more purposeful life?

• 1:09:08Jay Shetty?

  Hopefully, The Daily J is helping you head in that direction. And I'd love it if you shared this program with someone who matters to you. I wish you success and happiness in everything you do. I'm grateful for you, and I hope to see you again tomorrow.

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

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• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Mr. President, my company informed me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  What would happen if I stopped brewing? You're stalled, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:10:24Speaker 03

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17, not a minute without parent.

• 1:10:29Speaker 05

  Espolón Tequila. It arrives in a cloud of feathers with a cry to wake the dead. Espolón Tequila. Balanced, delicious, perfect for nights out, nights in, and people who like to drink tequila. Just add ice, lime, and your mouth, then hold on tight. 100% acafe, 0% igo. Espolón Tequila. For a real margarita, ride the rooster.

• 1:10:53Speaker 03

  Espolón Tequila, 40% alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Compaq America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly.