4 Things That Are Not Love and 4 Ways To Know You Have Found The One

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on Calm Love isn’t love when you don’t grow together, when you don’t appreciate your partner’s efforts and time, when your goals do not align with the other, and when you aren’t fully committed to the relationship. Love is deep and sometimes complicated, but it’s never about doing things separately or losing interest in what the other person is doing. In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty talks about the different things and emotions that are disguised as love and what truly makes a relationship work and last. Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ Key Takeaways: 00:00 Intro 01:13 How do you know when you’re in love? 07:54 Point #1: Validation is not love 11:11 Point #2: Trying to be liked is not love 14:49 Point #3: Power is not love 16:55 Point #4: Pain is not love 18:02 Growth is love 20:27 Appreciation is love 21:26 Alignment is love 23:31 Commitment is a sign of love 24:07 Experimenting together as love Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favourite podcast. Choose a seller or North East Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a second-hand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come.

• 1:28Jay Shetty?

  Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat, and build muscle, with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangestory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details. We even say things like, "I just met the most perfect person", or "he or she is perfect for me", or "they are perfect for me". Just the idea of saying "they are perfect for me", "I found the perfect person", when we say things like that, we're creating this pressure and emphasis that we're going to end up with someone perfect, and therefore we try and be that perfect person and they try to live up to that too.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, you know that one of the things I've been fascinated a lot lately with is something that it sounds like you're all fascinated with, and it's love. It's relationships, it's breakup, it's connection. The reason why I'm fascinated with this is because it has such a big, deep impact on our lives. I notice people go through some of the greatest transitions and personal transformations

• 2:56Jay Shetty?

  in their life when they are trying to meet someone, when someone just left their life. And one of the biggest questions that I'm constantly asked when it comes to relationships is, how do I know when I'm in love? Is this love? Are we in love? And some people would say, well, if you have to ask the question, then you're not, then you wouldn't know. And I would actually say the opposite. It's a really healthy question to ask. It's a really important question to ask. It's fascinating, isn't it? We spend so long trying to figure out the answer to questions like, what should I eat tonight? What should I wear to that event?

• 3:36Jay Shetty?

  Maybe we spend a longer time trying to think about, should I live in this city or town? Should I move country? Should I change my job? These are all questions we believe that are considerably important and require thought in order to make the right move. But it's really interesting that when it comes to love, we feel we should just know, we should just feel it. When you know, you know. When you experience it, you just do. So today, what I'm going to share with you, of course, is my take. On what I believe shows deeper signs of love than what I believe shows shallower signs of love.

• 4:16Jay Shetty?

  I'm going to, in this episode, give you five things that are not love and five things that are love. So that you can actually spot the signs. And as always, I will be sharing the science behind what will make a difference. Now, I was reading from the Harvard Gazette. And this was a Harvard staff writer, Alvin Powell. And Alvin wrote something really, really fantastic that I wanted to share with you. So when you first meet someone, check this out. Love turns on the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is known to stimulate the brain's pleasure centers. Coupled that with a drop in levels of serotonin, which adds a dash of obsession.

• 4:56Jay Shetty?

  And you have the crazy, pleasing, stupefied, urgent love of infatuation. We all know what that feels like. We've been there. And maybe we go there and get there again and again and again. Right? We experience that repeatedly. I know people that are in relationships that feel that they've fallen in love with someone else. Because we feel that specific spark. You could call it chemistry. You could call it a spark. You could call it infatuation, or attraction, or lust. But we all have had that experience and we label that love. Now, labeling that experience love is very limiting.

• 5:38Jay Shetty?

  Because one could be in love with someone new every month or every year. And one could be out of love with someone because that same feeling doesn't last. So what we have to ask ourselves is, are we in love with that feeling? Or do we really, truly want to fall in love? Are we in love with that chemical makeup? Are we in love with that chemical release? Or do we want to understand what a loving, healthy relationship looks like? Because obviously, that isn't a loving, healthy relationship. That is a love-like feeling that we're experiencing. So in this article, Alvin is quoting from a study by

• 6:22Jay Shetty?

  Richard Schwartz at Harvard Medical School. And this study by Schwartz goes on to say that during the first love year, serotonin levels gradually return to normal, and the stupid and obsessive aspects of the condition moderate. That period is followed by increases in the hormone oxytocin, a neurotransmitter associated with a calmer, more mature form of love. The oxytocin helps cement bonds, raise immune function, and begin to confer the health benefits found in married couples, who tend to live longer, have fewer strokes and heart attacks, be less depressed, and have higher survival rates from major surgery and cancer.

• 7:05Jay Shetty?

  So what I find fascinating, and the reason why I wanted to share that, is because we liken a lot of things to love when they don't completely encapsulate what love truly is. So we may say, wow, I think I'm falling out of love with someone when we mature and our oxytocin goes up. But we may feel more in love with someone new because our serotonin's gone up. One of the things we liken love to is how long we've been together. We clap for couples that have been together for five years, 10 years, 15 years, 25 years, 50 years, 75 years. And I'm not saying that's not beautiful. I think that's incredible. But here's something I want you to think about.

• 7:46Jay Shetty?

  Are we simply interested in the length of a relationship? Are we simply interested in the length of a long life? When you think about living, do you think to yourself, I really hope I can live forever? No, we often say, I'm not looking forward to growing older because age is often a contributor to a decrease in health. So what we're really saying we want is a long, healthy life. We don't just want a long life. We want a long, healthy life. And the truth is, if your life is healthy, it's more likely to be long. Similarly with relationships. Why do we just celebrate length of relationships?

• 8:30Jay Shetty?

  We don't just want a long relationship. Right? Do you just want to be able to tell people how long you've been together? No, you want a long, healthy relationship, just like you want a long, healthy life. And if you have a healthy relationship, you will naturally have a long, healthy life. This idea is so important because we've been conditioned to believe that a long relationship is a healthy one, as opposed to believing that a healthy relationship is a long one. Right? Think about that for a moment. How many of us believed, oh, wow, they've been together for such a long time? But then we all know people who've been together for such a long time and are unhappy, that are dissatisfied. So what I'm going to share with you today is what not to liken love with alone and

• 9:14Jay Shetty?

  what to liken love with. Right? Like, I'm not going to answer for you what love is and what love isn't, because that's for you to populate. It's not only that love is not these things, it's that these things are not love. We actually look for these things and we think that they're love. That's actually the challenge. We don't actually know what love looks like, so we're constantly looking at other things and saying, well, that feels like love to me. And when you place that emphasis and say, that feels like love to me, some of these things can actually take us down the wrong path. So first one, validation is not love. If someone validates you, that is not love. Why?

• 9:56Jay Shetty?

  Because validation is something that someone can give you to get something from you. Validation is something that we have to learn to give ourselves. If someone validates you and makes you feel important and significant, that is validation. Do not confuse that with love alone. Validation is not a bad thing if someone validates you. It's not an unhealthy thing if someone validates you. But don't equate validation on its own to being a sign of love. That is a part of love. It's a useful part of love. But it doesn't make you know you're in love. Why not?

• 10:40Jay Shetty?

  It's because validation can often be based around something you've achieved, something you've accomplished. So we have to ask ourselves, what am I being validated for? Am I being validated for who I am? Or am I being validated for what I've achieved and what I've accomplished? Right? Am I being validated for something genuinely that is mine to keep forever? Or am I being validated for something that I have no control over? If someone is constantly only validating your career, what does that say about what they value about you? What someone validates about you shows what they value about you. Right?

• 11:22Jay Shetty?

  I always tell the example of my wife, Radhi, who never validates me for my achievements, but constantly validates me for who I am and the man that she married and the person she's been with for this amount of time. And at first, I actually found that really hard. I wanted her to validate me for my success. I wanted her to validate me for my achievements. But she didn't. And that's what beautifully brought me to understand what she does validate. So first, ask yourself, what is this person validating? What are they valuing about me? Is that part of me that I want to be valued? Is that the part of me that I know is the real me? Because then you're going to be reminded of who you deeply are through that validation.

• 12:06Jay Shetty?

  The second thing you have to look for in validation is if I lost this, would this person still validate me? Right? That's a great sign to see the depth of their validation. And the third thing is, are you only with them because you want their validation? This is a really fascinating part. This is not really about them. Some people can validate your career, they'll validate you, they'll validate everything about you. And that's beautiful, but do you only love them because they validate you? Do you only love them because someone else hasn't validated you before? Is that your only reason? Do you only keep them around because you want someone to validate you? That can be unhealthy because if that's the only thing you like about them, or that's the only thing you appreciate about them,

• 12:48Jay Shetty?

  you're on the risk of falling out of love with them if they don't validate you sometime, or someone validates you more, or someone validates you better. So we have to be really careful about where we place validation.

• 13:02Jay Shetty?

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• 13:45Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. Commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand.

• 14:30Jay Shetty?

  Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day.

• 15:14Jay Shetty?

  The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Now, another thing that is not love is trying to be liked. Or being liked is not love.

• 16:00Jay Shetty?

  Someone may like you, they may find you interesting, they may find you entertaining. That doesn't turn it into love. Someone can like you, but they can only like the parts of you that they like. They may not want to like the parts of you that are tough to like. They may not want to like the parts of you that are uncomfortable. Have you even shown them those? Or do you love being liked so much that you're scared of showing that person who you really are? Being liked is beautiful, we all want to be liked. But at one point, a relationship has to evolve from being liked. To displaying honestly some of our flaws, or letting people experience us at different times of the day, or different times of the year, when our mood shifts and things change about ourselves.

• 16:43Jay Shetty?

  I remember I always wanted Radhi to believe I was perfect when I first started dating her. I would do everything. I literally would do everything and anything. And obviously, as time went on, that wore off. I couldn't do everything and anything. And luckily, Radhi didn't leave me because of that. But I started to notice that I was so obsessed with being liked that I hadn't allowed her to see my flaws. And so I couldn't see how she would deal with my flaws. And some of us get really scared around someone seeing our flaws because we think, oh, gosh, if they see my flaws, then they're gonna leave me. And that's what you don't want to live in, because that's not love. Because now you live in an insecurity that if this person gets to know the real me, they're gonna leave me.

• 17:27Jay Shetty?

  That is not a healthy place to live. You don't want to be in that scenario for too long. You don't want to live in that insecurity for too long a period of time, because it grates away at you. It makes you feel constantly uncomfortable, constantly uncertain about what if, what if, or when this person finds out. You feel that sense of imposter syndrome. Now, that isn't love. In love, you should be able to show parts of yourself, share parts of yourself. And of course, I'm not asking you to do it on day one, but slowly, steadily, allowing someone to get to know you, allowing someone to see parts of you, and recognizing just because they don't love you and they see parts of you, or they don't want to be around for those, that doesn't mean that you're not lovable, right? It's because we've all created these warped views of love.

• 18:12Jay Shetty?

  We all think that the person we're gonna fall in love with is gonna be perfect. We even say things like, "I just met the most perfect person", or "he or she is perfect for me", or "they are perfect for me". Just the idea of saying, "they are perfect for me", "I found the perfect person", we even say in best man speeches, "he found the perfect person". When we say things like that, we're creating this pressure and emphasis that we're gonna end up with someone perfect, and therefore, we try and be that perfect person, and they try to live up to that too.

• 18:43Jay Shetty?

  Forty-three percent of full-time employees say their job is the main cause of their negative mental health. This needs to change. Work should be a place where we flourish, not a constant source of stress. Reimagining the relationship between mental health and work, empowering employees to have conversations, to eliminate stigmas, and shining a light on available resources will be some of my core focus areas as Chief Purpose Officer at Calm. I'm partnering with Calm to propel the mission of making the world happier and healthier through life-changing daily content and getting the world to view mental health as health. Tune in now for an exclusive sneak peek from the Daily J.

• 19:27Jay Shetty?

  The third thing that is in love is that power is not love. The idea of controlling someone or being controlled is not love. You trying to control someone's life or someone trying to control you does not equate to love. Often when someone's controlling in the beginning, it can feel exciting because you think, oh, they care so much, they're so involved. Then you start to see that that could end up being possessive or obsessive, and that power starts influencing your choices, who you spend time with, where you spend time, what you do with that time. Power is not love. Control and fear are not love. In the Vedas, it talks about how people influence people, and it said that there are four ways

• 20:12Jay Shetty?

  of influencing people. The lowest form is out of fear and control. Higher than that is influencing people through making them work towards results and goals. Higher than that is responsibility, when people feel a sense of responsibility. And then higher than that is out of love. So love is considered the highest way to motivate someone. Control and fear are considered the lowest ways to motivate someone, maybe a good way to get started, but not a sustainable way to keep up. For example, someone breaks up with you, you can use that fear to get motivated to start doing whatever you want to do, working out, getting healthier, getting stronger, whatever it may be.

• 20:56Jay Shetty?

  But ultimately, you want to change that to say, I love my body, right? You may first start working on your body because you want revenge, but slowly you want to start working on your body because you love your body, right? So you want to shift out of that lower... Fear-based relationship to a relationship based on love. So, some relationships actually start in fear and control. Then they move towards working towards some goal. Then they work towards a responsibility and then they go to love. And often it's in that responsibility phase where we think, "Why, am I just being responsible being with this person that's boring?" But often that can give rise or birth to something really powerful. And the fourth thing that is in love is that pain is not love.

• 21:37Jay Shetty?

  Now, discomfort can be included in love, but pain is not, right? If someone is causing you pain, if someone is abusive verbally, emotionally, physically, and then they say, "But I love you." And you say, "But they love me, you know, they act out like this, but they do love me." That is not love. I hear that sentence so many times. "He or she does this, or they do this, but you know, they love me. I know they love me deep down in their heart." Please do not accept pain as love. We do not need to give discounts on our love. So those are four things that love is not. And often we liken it to that, or we accept those. Sometimes it's not that we liken love to those things, but we accept those as love. We accept validation as love.

• 22:22Jay Shetty?

  We accept being liked as love. We accept someone dominating us as love. And we accept pain as love. We accept these things as payment for our love. But we've got to be careful about accepting those things. Now, here's what some of the things that love looks like that we don't always feel comfortable with. The first is growth. Growth is love. Learning with, through, and from each other is love. That is how you actually learn to love, is that you learn together, you grow together, you develop together. And growth is painful. Growth isn't always easy. Sometimes growth feels like tension and friction and discomfort,

• 23:04Jay Shetty?

  but that growth helps you love more and love better and love deeper, right? So, if you're being forced to grow in your relationship, you're being forced to challenge your ideas, you're being forced to look at things differently, you're being forced to step up, you're being forced to be more humble, you're being forced to be more grounded, you're being forced to be more open-minded. That is an amazing opportunity to fall in love, not only with the other person, but with yourself. If someone is inspiring you to do all of those things, all of those things can be love. Right? There can truly be love. So we shouldn't shy away from growth. Often when a relationship gets to growth is when we walk. Because we don't want to grow.

• 23:46Jay Shetty?

  And that's why that stupid obsessive, in Schwartz's word, love in the beginning, when our serotonin goes through the roof. That's why we get attracted to that so much. Because it's easy, it's comfortable, it's fun, it's thrilling. But we all know that isn't love. Who wants to live a constant life of dating someone new every month? Now, maybe some of you do, and that's fine. But we know that that is just an aspect of joy. But that is not joy itself. Right? That is not everything. Jacqueline Olds, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says, "There is too much pressure on what a romantic partner should be. They should be your best friend, they should be your lover,

• 24:29Jay Shetty?

  they should be your closest relative, they should be your work partner, they should be the co-parent, your athletic partner. Of course, everybody isn't able to quite live up to it. And that's why I'm saying that they're actually there for growth. They're actually not going to live up to all those things so that you have to grow. If they lived up to all of those things, then you wouldn't have to grow. You could just accept them as perfect and you'd be perfect for them. But we know the reality, that they're not perfect for you and you're not perfect for them. And that forces you both to grow. Now, if you both see that as a challenge and think, this is us getting to grow in love together, that's special, that's beautiful. The next one is appreciation is love. Gratitude, kindness.

• 25:12Jay Shetty?

  This is something that not only do we want to display, but it's something that, of course, we want to receive. Now, we often look for validation. And we often look for appreciation rather than choosing to give it. Now, what is the difference, you may say, between validation and appreciation? Appreciation can be something really small. It could be a small note of gratitude, it could be a small act of kindness. Validation is something that we seek for maybe something we've gained or achieved. Kindness and appreciation comes from that person and is a beautiful act of love. And ask yourself, when was the last time you were appreciative or kind to your partner? Often, our partners are the ones that receive the least appreciative, least kind versions of us

• 25:56Jay Shetty?

  because we're so distracted, potentially doing that for others, or... Potentially recognizing this person's gonna be around anyway. Now, this goes a bit further. Alignment is love. What I mean by this is there's a beautiful statement by Gandhi where he said that harmony or peace is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are aligned. And my question is, does that person stay aligned in what they think, what they say, and what they do for you? Someone may say they're gonna do something, but do they actually do it? Someone may be thinking about something, but do they actually say it and do it? That is when you know that someone is in love and when you're in love.

• 26:39Jay Shetty?

  Are you thinking, saying, and doing the same thing toward that person? Right? Do you feel that there is an alignment in your work with that person? Now, there's something really interesting here, of course. Now, Oates said that children remain the biggest stressor on relationships, adding that it seems a particular problem these days. Young parents feel pressure to raise kids perfectly, even at the risk of their own relationships. Kids are a constant pressure for parents. The days when childcare consisted of instruction, "Go play outside," while mum and dad reconnected over cocktails are largely gone. So what we're learning here is that alignment comes when we've recognized that we have to continue to keep this relationship healthy.

• 27:23Jay Shetty?

  If you ignore your body, will it be healthy or unhealthy? If you ignore your relationship, will it become unhealthy or healthy? So many of my clients will say to me, "Jay, you know, I feel like we don't have a connection anymore. I think we've fallen out of love." And I'll say, "Well, when was the last time you went out on a date night? When was the last time you sat and had a deep intimate conversation about your relationship? When was the last time you stayed up all night and had fun? When was the last time you did all those things that made you fall in love?" You don't have to go back and relive down memory lane, but it's like, what are you actually doing to water your relationship? What is the sun to your relationship today? What is it that's keeping your relationship fresh?

• 28:05Jay Shetty?

  If there is not investment, if there is not input, how will it remain? Now, commitment is A sign of love. Turning up when you don't feel like it is still a sign of love. Because the only thing that makes someone turn up when they don't feel like it is love. Is a deeper reason because we follow our feelings so much and they often mislead us or they distract us. But if someone keeps committing and showing up, that is a sign of love. There is some love there. Don't devalue someone who's committed to you. Don't devalue someone who turns up on time and who represents that love for you. And the last one I want to share with you is experimenting together is love.

• 28:51Jay Shetty?

  In this study, it's said by Schwartz and a study by our good friend, Robert Waldinger, who's also been on the podcast. Is retaining a genuine sense of curiosity about your partner, fostered both by time apart to have separate experiences and by time together just as a couple, to share those experiences. Couples watched videos of themselves arguing. Afterwards, each person was asked what the partner was thinking. The longer they'd been together, the worse they actually were at guessing, in part because they thought they already knew. What keeps love alive is being able to recognize that you don't really know your partner perfectly

• 29:32Jay Shetty?

  and still being curious and still be exploring. I love this idea of experimenting. The problem is couples who've been together for a long time, they think they know each other, but you're with a new person. Your partner has changed, your partner has evolved, your partner has grown. Please take the time to get to know your partner, even if you've been with them for 10 years, 15 years, 20 years. Which means in addition to being sure you have enough time and involvement with each other, that that time isn't stolen, making sure you have enough separateness that you can be an object of curiosity for the other person is really powerful and important as well. And I love this study because there's just so many beautiful things in this

• 30:12Jay Shetty?

  that really help us understand that experimenting together is love, experiencing together is love. Don't underestimate those ideas. I want to thank you again for joining me today. I'm so grateful that you made the time. I really hope that you're just trying to apply one thing, just one thing that I shared today. And watch how your life changes. Thanks for joining me on On Purpose. I'll see you again very soon. Look out next week for more amazing episodes. And of course, we've been around for three years now. There are so many incredible episodes from the last three years with amazing guests, amazing solo episodes. Don't miss out. Thanks for listening.

• 30:51Jay Shetty?

  We're adding something new this year. I'm calling them Calm Moments. I'm going to give you special access to an episode of The Daily J. The Daily J is a seven-minute daily meditation habit that's on Calm. I'm giving you a sneak peek into what you'll experience if you come over and get 40% off a premium membership at calm.com/j. I can't wait for you to experience this Calm moment. Let's do it now.

• 31:21Jay Shetty?

  When you're a kid, everyone asks you, what do you want to be when you grow up? For me, ages one through four, it was a cowboy. And then five through nine, police officer. But why don't they ask you who you want to be? Our society is preoccupied with accomplishments. We're checking items off a to-do list. Though I believe that character is far more important. So today, I'm going to introduce you to the powerful tool of to-be lists. These next seven minutes are about you and building positive qualities. I'm Jay Shetty. Welcome to The Daily J.

• 32:04Jay Shetty?

  Let's start by taking a few deep breaths to center ourselves. Inhaling

• 32:13Jay Shetty?

  and exhaling.

• 32:17Jay Shetty?

  Expanding

• 32:20Jay Shetty?

  and releasing.

• 32:25Jay Shetty?

  Focusing.

• 32:28Jay Shetty?

  And relaxing.

• 32:32Jay Shetty?

  Beautiful. Have you ever thought about your relationship with to-do lists? If you're like me, then it's not always pretty. To-do lists are supposed to be sources of organization and efficiency. But I have such a love-hate relationship with mine. Sometimes I find myself running from task to task, trying to accomplish.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Hey, it's Brianna Stewart here with Ally Bank. Whether it's at work or with family, life never calls a timeout. Sometimes you're ready, and sometimes you have to react on your feet. Unexpected travel, retail therapy, and of course, the kids need new kicks right now. Ally gets it, and they build banking around real life. So even in those clutch money moments, you can spend and save confidently with the bank that's got your back. Ally, do it right. Ally Bank, member FDIC.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami.

• 33:58Jay Shetty?

  They all heap the blame on me.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  I'm not the first then.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Digger, see the trailer online, only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R, under 17, not admitted without parent.